Primary Education Awareness Manual
Susan Romano Coordinator
TABLE OF CONTENTS PRIMARY EDUCATION SCHOOL BASED PROGRAM ELEMENTARY EDUCATION PROGRAMS MIDDLE SCHOOL PROGRAMS HIGH SCHOOL PROGRAMS 2021-2022 NOVA ELEMENTARY EDUCATION PROGRAMS 2021-2022 NOVA SEONDARY EDUCATION PROGRAMS 2021-2022 NOVA TEACHER AND PARENT PROGRAMS
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PRESCHOOL PROGRAMS SAFETY BEARS POWER POINT SAFETY BEARS STORY GUIDE
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ELEMENTARY PROGRAMS BULLY FREE KINDERGARTEN KINDNESS POWER POINT BULLY FREE KINDERGARTEN COLORING PAGE BULLY FREE 1ST GRADE – I WALK VANESSA POWER POINT BULLY FREE 1ST GRADE COLORING PAGE BULLY FREE 2ND GRADE POWER POINT BULLY FREE 2ND & 3RD GRADE HANDOUT BULLY FREE 3RD GRADE POWER POINT BULLY FREE 2ND & 3RD GRADE HANDOUT BULLY FREE 4TH & 5TH GRADE HANDOUT BULLY FREE 5TH & 6TH GRADE HANDOUT CYBER BULLYING POWER POINT DIGITAL FOOTPRINT POWER POINT GENDER BULLYING POWER POINT ISMART 2021 POWER POINT PERSONAL SAFETY KINDERGARTEN – CHESTER’S TALE POWER POINT PERSONAL SAFETY KINDERGARTEN – CHESTER’S TALE SCRIPT PERSONAL SAFETY NO GO TELL HANDOUT PERSONAL SAFETY 1ST GRADE – THREE KINDS OF TOUCHES POWER POINT PERSONAL SAFETY 2ND GRADE – SAFE VS. UNSAFE TOUCHES POWER POINT PERSONAL SAFETY 2ND GRADE SCENARIOS PERSONAL SAFETY 3RD GRADE - SAFE VS. UNSAFE TOUCHES POWER POINT PERSONAL SAFETY 3RD GRADE SCENARIOS
36 49 50 80 81 104 106 127 129 131 133 158 183 214 245 286 289 291 311 329 332 355
SECONDARY SCHOOL CYBERBULLYING PREVENTION HARASSMENT MIDDLE SCHOOL ABRIDGED HARASSMENT MIDDLE SCHOOL HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS INTERNET SAFETY SEXTING AWARENESS SEXUAL HARASSMENT SEXUAL VIOLENCE EDUCATION – MIDDLE SCHOOL SEXUAL VIOLENCE EDUCATION – HIGH SCHOOL
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PROGRAM EVALUATIONS BULLY FREE CYBERBULLYING
DIGITAL FOOTPRINT GENDER BULLYING HARASSMENT HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS INTERNET SAFETY ISMART PERSONAL SAFETY SEXTING AWARENESS SEXUAL HARASSMENT SEXUAL VIOLENCE PREVENTION
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The School Based Program In 1982-1983, responding to the growing number of child victims reported to our agency and the harmful effects resulting from sexual assaults, NOVA developed personal safety education programs for students of all ages: Preschool through adult education. Statistically, the agency was seeing younger and younger victims each year. We also recognized that nationally, it is estimated that 1 out of every 4 girls and 1 out of every 6 boys will be a victim of sexual abuse by the age of 18. Ninety-three percent of offenders are someone the child already knows. These statistics, along with the serious and often long lasting harmful effects resulting from sexual abuse, spurred our efforts in the education program project. If, it was reasoned, NOVA could prevent just one child from becoming a victim then our endeavor would be worth while. Through our personal safety program we were able to reach out and identify child victims and obtain help for them. The key is early intervention, the means is education. Reinforcing the student curriculum, NOVA designed additional programs for parents, teachers and all other school staff. Experience has shown student programs are more effective when parents and teachers have also had educational presentations. The goals of the school program are: 1. Early identification of victims 2. Risk reduction of sexual assault/victimization 3. Reinforcement of strong life skills such as refusal skills, communication skills, assertive skills, creative problem solving skills and resource building skills Through our education programs, myths and misconceived attitudes are dispelled allowing for greater understanding of victimization. Sexual assault is addressed as a safety issue, not sex education, because it has clearly been identified by our society as a crime. Presenters are taught to explain the concepts calmly and matter of factly without instilling fear or rigidity. All school programs are structured according to the maturity level of the audience and can be tailored to meet the specific needs of any group.
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Since 1985, NOVA has been presenting prevention education programs to schools throughout Bucks County. All NOVA programs are age-appropriate and designed to promote respect for the privacy, uniqueness, and dignity of all people. Programs for students, parents, and staff are available and program topic and length can be modified to accommodate the host’s specific needs or schedule. 1. Elementary Education Personal Safety – Pre K – 3rd Grade NOVA’s Personal Safety program builds body boundaries and teaches children about safe and appropriate touches or requests. Children are empowered to listen to their feelings, assertively say “no” in unsafe situations, and tell a trusted adult. Safety Matters – Ages 7 - 12 NOVA’s practice–informed program teaches boundaries, safe and unsafe touches or requests, appropriate non-compliance, private and public places, and how to seek help if needed. This program includes: social stories, video, classroom activities and small group instruction. Bully-Free – Pre K – 3rd Grade NOVA’s Bully-Free program promotes positive attitudes and behaviors supporting a caring environment. Team building and victim empathy are endorsed utilizing interactive activities and video. Together with NOVA educators, students participate in skill-building challenges and learn the value of the “Upstander.” Gender Bullying - It’s No Laughing Matter NOVA’s It’s No Laughing Matter supports a culture of equality, safety, and respect and targets a covert form of bullying that intentionally uses gender to cause harm. The difference between joking and gender bullying is clarified. Students discuss rights, responsibilities, ways to appropriately respond to gender bullying, victim support, and reporting policies.
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iSmart Series iSmart 101 – Grade 4 iSmart 101 provides the foundation for Digital Citizenship. Appropriate and responsible behavior with regard to technology use is presented. Topics include: password protection, internet tricks, “virtual friends”, reputations, sharing content, and how to handle dangerous or uncomfortable situations. Cyberbullying Prevention – Grade 5 Cyberbullies demean and isolate victims using mobile devices to post, text, and spread embarrassing pictures, messages or gossip. NOVA’s Cyberbullying program clarifies digital rights and responsibilities and teaches appropriate strategies and effective responses to handle cyberbullying. “Upstanders” and resources for support are discussed and encouraged. Your Digital Footprint – Grade 6 Your Digital Footprint explores privacy in the digital world and promotes critical thinking regarding how digital content is potentially viewed and stored. Students apply this information in scenario activities designed to foster empathy and encourage responsible and respectful decision making. Encourage Upstanders Encourage Upstanders is a program that supports empathy, teamwork, and friendship. 2. Middle School Healthy Relationships This program supports awareness and skills for respectful relationship building and compares key aspects of healthy relationships to the red flags of unhealthy relationships.
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Harassment This program seeks to eliminate interpersonal violence by encouraging a change in the culture that accepts unkind behavior between peers. It identifies the effects of harassment, emphasizes strategies on effectively handling harassment, and the importance of positive bystander intervention. Sexual Harassment Focusing on discussion and activities on sexual elements of harassment, this program distinguishes between flirting versus harassment. Students will identify personal safety resources and skills. Cyberbullying Prevention Creating awareness of cyberbullying behaviors, this program fosters empathy, and urges students to stand up for others who are being bullied, whether it is in school, online, or both. Internet Safety Offering knowledge and tools for risk reduction in adverse online situations including cyberbullying, sexting, and internet predators. The Impact of Sexting Students recognize the perils and the legal consequences associated with taking, sharing, or receiving explicit photos. Risk reduction and resources for support will be included.
Understanding Sexual Violence - 9th Grade Through this victim-centered Sexual Violence prevention program, students will have a clear understanding of what constitutes rape and other forms of sexual violence. Affirmative consent is defined while risk reduction and bystander intervention strategies are explored. Support and resources for victims are provided as well as strategies for how to handle a disclosure of sexual violence from a friend.
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3. High School Healthy Relationships This program supports awareness and skills for respectful relationship building and compares key aspects of healthy relationships to the red flags of unhealthy relationships. Internet Safety Offering knowledge and tools for risk reduction in adverse online situations including cyberbullying, sexting, and internet predators.
The Impact of Sexting Students recognize the perils and the legal consequences associated with taking, sharing, or receiving explicit photos. Risk reduction and resources for support will be included.
Understanding Sexual Violence Through this victim-centered Sexual Violence prevention program, students will have a clear understanding of what constitutes rape and other forms of sexual violence. Affirmative consent is defined while risk reduction and bystander intervention strategies are explored. Support and resources for victims are provided as well as strategies for how to handle a disclosure of sexual violence from a friend.
Preschool and Elementary School Prevention Programs
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Menu of Services Working together for safer communities .
Advocacy, Support, and Prevention for Crime Victims in Bucks County, Pennsylvania
2370 York Road ● Suite B1 ● Jamison, PA 18929 (215) 343‐6543 ● FAX (215) 343‐6260 www.novabucks.org ● 24‐Hour Hotline 1‐800‐675‐6900
Preschool and Elementary Programs Building on more than 36 years as prevention practitioners, NOVA programs provide innovative, supportive, and age-appropriate learning experiences. NOVA programs are designed to promote critical thinking skills, respectful interpersonal boundaries, and healthy relationships. 2018-2019
Safe and Appropriate Touch Preschool & Kindergarten 30 to 45 minutes Elementary (Grades 1 ‐ 3) 60 minutes For Children with Developmental Disabilities
Ages 7 through 12 Multisession lessons tailored to meet the student’s needs. Please contact NOVA for program details. 215‐343‐6543 mary@novabucks.org
Technology: iSmart Series ►iSmart 101
►Personal Safety NOVA’s Personal Safety program builds body boundaries and teaches children about safe and appropriate touches or requests. Children are empowered to listen to their feelings, assertively say “no” in unsafe situations, and tell a trusted adult. A PowerPoint Program
60 minutes
►Safety Matters NOVA’s practice–informed program teaches boundaries, safe and unsafe touches or requests, appropriate non‐ compliance, private and public places, and how to seek help if needed. This program includes: social stories, video, classroom activities and small group instruction. A PowerPoint Program
A PowerPoint Program
Grades 5 & 6 60 minutes
Bully Prevention ►Bully‐Free Classroom Kindergarten 45 minutes Elementary (Grades 1 to 3)
60 minutes
NOVA’s Bully‐Free program promotes positive attitudes and behaviors supporting a caring environment. Team building and victim empathy are endorsed utilizing interactive activities and video. Together with NOVA educators, students participate in skill‐building challenges and learn the value of the A PowerPoint Program “Upstander.”
►It’s No Laughing Matter: Gender Grades 5 & 6 60 minutes
Bullying
NOVA’s It’s No Laughing Matter supports a culture of equality, safety, and respect and targets a covert form of bullying that intentionally uses gender to cause harm. The difference between joking and gender bullying is clarified. Students discuss rights, responsibilities, ways to appropriately respond to gender bullying, victim support, and reporting policies. A PowerPoint Program
iSmart 101 provides the foundation for Digital Citizenship. Appropriate and responsible behavior with regard to technology use is presented. Topics include: password protection, internet tricks, “virtual friends”, reputations, sharing content, and how to handle dangerous or uncomfortable situations.
Grades 4 & 5
►C y b e r b u l l y i n g Cyberbullies demean and isolate victims using mobile devices to post, text, and spread embarrassing pictures, messages or gossip. NOVA’s Cyberbullying program clarifies digital rights and responsibilities and teaches appropriate strategies and effective responses to handle cyberbullying. “Upstanders” and resources for support are discussed and encouraged. A PowerPoint Program
Grade 6 60 minutes
►Y o u r D i g i t a l F o o t p r i n t NOVA’s Your Digital Footprint explores privacy in the digital world and promotes critical thinking regarding how digital content is potentially viewed and stored. Students apply this information in scenario activities designed to foster empathy and encourage responsible and respectful decision making. A PowerPoint Program
Peer Education Please contact NOVA for program details. 215‐343‐6543 mary@novabucks.org
►Encourage Upstanders: a pro‐ gram that supports empathy, team‐ work, and friendship.
*For additional information please contact Susan Romano Susan.Romano@novabucks.org or call 215‐343‐6543
Middle School, High School & Post Secondary Prevention Programs Advocacy, Support, and Prevention for Crime Victims in Bucks County, Pennsylvania
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2370 York Road ● Suite B1 ● Jamison, PA 18929 (215) 343‐6543 6299 ● FAX (215) 343‐6260 www.novabucks.org ● 24‐Hour Hotline 1‐800‐675‐6900
Secondary Programs for the Classroom
Building on more than 36 years as prevention practitioners, NOVA programs provide innovative, supportive, and age-appropriate learning experiences. NOVA programs are designed to promote critical thinking skills, respectful interpersonal boundaries, and healthy relationships.*
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2018-2019
Interpersonal Relationships Middle School 45‐60 minutes High School 45‐60 minutes
Middle School 45‐60 minutes
NOVA’s Healthy Relationships program helps students develop and maintain respectful, healthy attitudes, and practices in their relationships with others. Key aspects of healthy relationships are explored and red flags of unhealthy relationships are identified.
►Harassment NOVA’s Harassment program seeks to eliminate interpersonal violence by encouraging a change in the culture that accepts unkind behavior between peers. It identifies the effects of harassment as well as emphasizes strategies on how to handle harassment and the importance of bystanders
►Internet Safety High School 45‐60 minutes
Middle School 45‐60 minutes
NOVA’s Internet Safety program provides students with knowledge and tools to handle adverse situations when using the internet including, but not limited to, cyberbullying, sexting, and internet predators.
►Cyberbullying Prevention The NOVA Cyberbullying Awareness program helps students to identify cyberbullying behaviors, fosters empathy, and urges students to stand up for others who are being bullied, whether it is in school, online, or both.
►Sexting Awareness
Middle School 45‐60 minutes NOVA’s High School 45‐60 minutes
►Sexual Harassment
►Healthy Relationships
Technology: iSmart Series Middle School 45‐60 minutes
Sexual Violence Education
Sexting Awareness program helps students recognize the perils associated with taking, sharing, or receiving explicit photos. Risk reduction and resources for support will be included.
Middle School 45‐60 minutes
Middle School 45‐60 minutes
NOVA’s Sexual Harassment program focuses discussion and activities on sexual elements of harassment. The program distinguishes between flirting versus harassment while assisting participants to identify personal safety resources and skills.
►Understanding Sexual Violence
In NOVA’s victim‐centered Understanding Sexual Violence prevention program, High School 45‐60 minutes students will have a clear understanding of what constitutes rape and other forms Post ‐ of sexual violence. Affirmative consent is Secondary defined while risk reduction and bystander 45‐60 minutes intervention strategies are explored. Support and resources for victims are provided as well as strategies for how to handle a disclosure of sexual violence from a friend.
About Our Programs: Programs are presented in individual classrooms with the host teacher present. All programs are: ►Interactive ►Trauma‐sensitive ►Proactive ►PowerPoint supported Accompanying teacher and parent programs available upon request. *For additional information please contact Susan Romano—susan.romano@novabucks.org
Teacher and Parent Programs
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Working together for safer communities. 2016-2017
Advocacy, Support, and Prevention for Crime Victims in Bucks County, Pennsylvania
2370 York Road ● Suite B1 ● Jamison, PA 18929 (215) 343‐6543 ●TTY (215) 343‐6299 ● FAX (215) 343‐6260 www.novabucks.org ● 24‐Hour Hotline 1‐800‐675‐6900
Teacher Programs Safe and Appropriate Touch Talking About Touching □Staff ► NOVA’s Talking About Touching provides insight 1 hour
on child sexual abuse, ways to help children Camp and youth build and maintain personal safety Counselors in existing relationships, how to handle disclosures, 1 hour legal obligations, and resources.
Parent Programs Safe and Appropriate Touch □Parent 1 hour
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Staff 2 hour or 3 hour
► Mandated Reporting Training Designed for professionals, NOVA’s Mandated Reporting Training provides necessary information for anyone who works with youth. This program covers the requirements of mandated reporters and their legal obligations to report suspected abuse.
1 hour
1 hour
►Bully‐Free Classroom Bullying behaviors decrease when kindness is fostered and “Upstanders” are encouraged in our school communities. NOVA’s Bully‐Free Classroom for Staff identifies strategies and tools to support a compassionate school environment that disinhibits bullying behaviors.
□Staff
►Gender Bullying
1 hour
Gender bullying is often covert and painful for the entire school community. This program increases understanding of how to effectively respond and intervene in gender bullying situations and reviews reporting policies.
Technology: iSmart Series □Staff 1 hour
□Staff 1 hour
□Parent 1 hour
►Your Students’ Digital Footprints This training discusses privacy and promotes an understanding of how digital content is potentially viewed and stored in digital space. Online safety and respectful decision making will be addressed.
caring and courageous children. Victim empathy, bystander intervention, proactive strategies, sibling bullying, and resources for support will be discussed.
►It’s No Laughing Matter for Parents (Talking About Gender Bullying)
It’s No Laughing Matter for Parents supports families in effectively responding to an often covert and specific form of bullying that uses gender to intentionally create harm. Discussion on how to handle uncomfortable situations while promoting respect and empathy will be presented.
Technology: iSmart Series □Parent 1 hour
►Cyberbullying NOVA’s Cyberbullying program is designed to assist school personnel with effective strategies and responses to handle cyberbullying. This program provides insight on cyberbullying and social media platforms and how to support students.
Parents, grandparents and guardians preview NOVA’s Personal Safety school program, ask questions, and learn additional ways to talk about personal safety with their child, promote their child’s self‐advocacy and develop healthy body boundaries.
Bully Prevention Bridging the Gap: Bully‐Free Families □Parent ► This program presents ways to nurture respectful,
Bully Prevention □Staff
►Bridging the Gap: Personal Safety
□Parent 1 hour
►Being iSmart About Cyberbullying This program provides insight on cyberbullying, social media platforms, “virtual friends”, parental supervision and how to support their child if a cyberbullying situation occurs.
►Bridging the Gap: iSmart Parenting While technology is ever‐changing, this program provides parents information on building the foundation for an “iSmart” life. Parenting styles, responsible use, social media platforms, mobile devices will be discussed.
If one of our listed programs does not meet your specific needs, please inquire.
*For additional information please contact Jamie Pfister jamie.pfister@novabucks.org or call 215‐343‐6543
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Safety Bear’s Story 1) Once there was a Bear Family, the Brown Bear Family, with a big fuzzy Daddy, a warm fuzzy Mommy and a happy, cuddly Betty Bear. They were such a happy family and Betty feels so safe with her fuzzy Mommy and Daddy. *Look at this picture. How can you tell they are happy? (Safe makes us happy!)
2) One day, Daddy Bear picked up Betty and sat her on his lap. Mother Bear settled in close by while Daddy told them a Bear story. Betty smiled at Mommy and snuggled in close to Daddy’s soft, furry coat and enjoyed the good touch of being close. *Look how Daddy has his arm around Betty’s shoulder (almost like a hug). This is what Safety Bear calls a good touch. How does this make Betty feel? (Happy)
3) As the story ended, there was a knock at the front door. Daddy Bear opened it and roared a big, friendly “Hello” to someone standing there. He said to Betty, “you remember our friend Unbearable Bear.”
4) Betty wasn’t quite sure if she remembered Unbearable Bear. Betty slowly peeked out from behind Mommy’s big skirt.
5) Unbearable Bear gave Betty a huge smile.
6) Then Betty remembered that he was their friend. Then she smiled back.
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7) Betty took Unbearable Bear over to play with some of her toys. While they were playing, Mommy Bear said, “Daddy and I are going for a short walk.” Betty didn’t mind though. She and Unbearable Bear were having such a good time playing with one of her games. 8) After Mommy and Daddy left, Betty and Unbearable Bear were all alone. Unbearable Bear said “I have an idea for a new game we can play.”
9) He pulled Betty close to him and picked up her dress. Betty tried to pull her dress back down, but before she knew it, he was touching her on the private parts of her body for no good reason * * *
Do you see where Unbearable Bear has his hand? How does this make Betty feel? How can you tell? Look at her dog, does he look scared and confused?
THIS IS WHAT SAFETY BEAR CALLS A “Uh Oh TOUCH”. This does not make Betty feel safe.
10)“Why is he doing this?” Betty wondered. There didn’t seem to be any good reason for him to touch her this way. He wasn’t helping her to take a bath or change her clothes to go out to play. He wasn’t a doctor giving her a check-up.
11)Then Unbearable Bear whispered that she must not tell her Mommy and Daddy about this secret game they had been playing. They would not like it. Betty felt confused and scared because she did not like keeping secrets from Mommy and Daddy.
12)Betty did not feel warm and safe. She ran to her room and held tight to her favorite bear doll until she fell asleep.
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13)The next day, Betty went to school. She had so many friends there and she liked the things they did together, but today, Betty didn’t feel like playing. She just sat in her seat. One big tear welled up and slowly rolled down her furry cheek. * Why does Betty feel so sad at school? (if the group needs a prompt ask the following: “What do you think Betty is remembering?”) * What happened to her? (Go back to slide showing Unbearable Bear giving Betty Bear an uh oh touch. This touch is not safe.)
14)Betty’s teacher saw that she looked sad and asked her to come over to find out why she was crying. Betty loves Ms. Friendly, her teacher, but she felt afraid to tell her about Unbearable Bear’s secret game. Ms. Friendly smiled and gave Betty a soft hug, a safe touch. She said, “Betty, if you have a problem or a secret that is making you feel hurt or sad, you could tell it to me and maybe together we can make it better.”
15)Betty told Ms. Friendly about the game Unbearable Bear played with her and how scared she felt when he gave her touch that was not safe. Betty told Ms Friendly how he told her to keep it a secret from Mommy and Daddy. Ms. Friendly listened very carefully. She told Betty that whenever ANYONE touches you on the private parts of your body for no good reason, this is not safe and it is wrong for someone to do.
16)Ms. Friendly told Betty that it wasn’t her fault and that she was very glad Betty was telling about the secret game. Betty began to feel better. She wiped away her tears and ran over to play with some of her friends.
17)That afternoon when Betty was waiting to be picked up, Mommy and Daddy Bear both talked to Ms. Friendly, the teacher. Ms. Friendly told them what happened to Betty and that she was feeling confused and sad. They talked quietly for a little while.
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18)Then Mommy Bear said “I’m so sorry this happened to Betty, but I’m glad she knows it was not her fault and it was good for Betty to tell someone. It is not safe for anyone to touch Betty on the private parts of her body for no good reason.
19)Daddy Bear nodded and said that he was proud Betty was brave enough to tell Ms. Friendly because it is never good to keep scary secrets from Mommy and Daddy and now they can all help with this problem.
20)Mommy and Daddy came over and picked up Betty in their warm, fuzzy arms and gave her a hug, a safe touch. They told her that most bears don’t act like Unbearable Bear did with her, but if they do it is not safe and it is wrong for them to do. She did what was right by telling her teacher. They told her that if this ever happened again, or if any other scary thing happens, she could always tell her Mommy and Daddy. Betty smiled, she felt safe now and it was nice to know she had done what was right.
21)Betty Bear reached up and took Mommy and Daddy’s hand and they started off through the woods towards home. They looked for trees with beehives and honey and they watched the squirrels playing tag together.
22)“These are beautiful woods we live in,” said Mommy. They were such a happy family and Betty felt so safe with her fuzzy Mommy and Daddy. * How does Betty look in this picture? (Safe and happy)
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Follow-up questions to Safety Bear 1. What happened to Betty Bear? - Unbearable Bear touched her on the private parts of her body for no good reason. This is not safe. 2. Could this happen to a human child? - Yes 3. Could this happen to a boy? - Yes 4. How did uh oh touch make Betty feel? - Sad, confused, scared, mad, unhappy, unsafe 5. Was this a good secret Unbearable Bear told Betty to keep? - No 6. What did Betty do about her feelings and the uh oh touch? - She told her teacher. 7. What would you do if someone gave you a uh oh touch? - Say “NO,” “GO AWAY,” “TELL” an adult
A. Practice saying “NO” 1. serious voice 2. serious face 3. hands out B. Show students the coloring page and handout for home. C. Encourage students to tell their parents the story of Betty Bear. D. Under the teacher’s directions, the students may come up one by one to give Safety Bear a good touch.
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We all have an invisible tool belt filled with all the special tools we need to be a good friend.
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After showing the video ask the students if they can think of a way they can show kindness with sharing.
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What are the kids doing in these photos? How do you think they feel (both kids in each picture)?
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NOVA Prevention Education Programs Bully-free Coloring Page
1-800-675-6900 www.novabucks.org
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We’re going to begin with a story about kindness. How one person can actually make a difference in someone’s life.
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The story begins with a family moving into a new community - new neighborhood, new school, new friends. Vanessa (little girl up front) is pretty excited about her new adventure, but I’m sure feeling slightly nervous as well.
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Vanessa’s first day in her new class was scary because she moved in mid-year and she knew most of her classmates already had friends. She had lots of friends at her old school. At this moment, she was missing them terribly.
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At Vanessa’s old school, she loved answering questions and doing the school work, but here, in her new classroom, she felt shy. While the other classmates were busy learning and answering questions, there was one little girl who noticed how sad and scared Vanessa looked. Can you spot her?
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It was really hard for Vanessa that first week in school. She didn’t really know anyone and no one asked her to join in to play.
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Walking home alone at the end of the day only added to her sadness and missing her old friends and old neighborhood.
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For a few days during Vanessa’s first week, a boy approached Vanessa (because she was walking all by herself and looked sad).
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At first, Vanessa thought the boy was coming up to be nice, but instead, he started to say some really mean things. For several days, he told her that nobody liked her or wanted her around. He made fun of her hair.
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Vanessa was so upset and confused. She had never really spoken to this boy before. She couldn’t understand how someone could be so mean. As this was going on though, the same little girl who noticed Vanessa in class was watching....
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The little girl in the yellow dress was paying close attention to Vanessa. She could see how upset Vanessa was and it made her feel very sad. She was able to put herself in Vanessa’s shoes. But what could she do to help? How could she stop this behavior from happening every day!
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The little girl wanted desperately to make Vanessa feel better. She watched Vanessa go into her house and decided she needed to tell her friends to see if they had any ideas on how to help.
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She immediately went to her group of friends to tell them about how upset the new girl, Vanessa looked and about what had been happening with the boy who behaved so badly towards Vanessa. After hearing the story, her friends felt sad for Vanessa, but they weren’t sure of what they could do to help.
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All afternoon, the little girl couldn’t shake the feelings and thoughts she had for Vanessa. She really wanted to try and help, but she was struggling to come up with a plan.
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She sat awake thinking and thinking about what she could do to help Vanessa.
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At breakfast, it finally came to her! She was so happy, she couldn’t wait to get to out the door….
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She walked straight to Vanessa’s house to ask if she wanted to walk to school together. Although Vanessa was still feeling a little scared and shy, she was happy to accept!
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The two girls walked to school and learned more about each other on the way. The little girl learned that Vanessa loved dancing and playing games and was pretty good at the piano as well. This was something they had in common and they talked and talked about their favorite music.
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On their way, they met up with some more friends from their class. Vanessa was feeling more excited and less shy. She actually smiled for the first time since joining the new school.
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As they got closer to school, more and more students joined in and finally….
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For the first time in over a week, Vanessa was super excited to go into school! Thanks to ONE little girl in the yellow dress, Vanessa was able to feel comfortable in school, make friends and enjoy her new neighborhood. All it takes is ONE. Who would you want to be friends with…..the boy who behaved badly towards Vanessa or the girl in the yellow dress?
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Let’s talk about Vanessa’s story for a minute… What happened to Vanessa on her walk home that first week of school? Was that a type of bullying behavior? Why or Why not? Talk about bullying, that bullying is when someone does something on purpose to make you feel bad or hurts you and it’s hard to stop. Bullying can be hitting or pushing, teasing or calling names, taking things without permission, saying things about people behind their back or not letting them play Bullying behaviors makes people feel sad, mad or scared.
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Do you think she told her parents? How do you think she feels?
Walk awayIf you aren’t there they can’t bully you. Ignoring the bully works well, especially if you are able to walk away. Ignore- A bully is looking for a reaction from you. If you ignore them, you aren't giving them what they are looking for and they may leave you alone. Lots of time students try to ignore but they still give the bully the reaction he / she is looking for. There are many ways your body language shows how you are feeling. Tell an adult - bullying can easily get worse... If you are being bullied and it is not stopping, it is important to let an adult you know and trust, know.
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What did the girl in the yellow dress do? Was she an upstander? What about at first…. We know that at first, she wasn’t sure what to do. It took her some time to figure out how to help. It can be very hard. What would you do in this situation? It’s OK if we sometimes don’t know what to do in the moment. But always remember that even something small can make a big difference. And you can ALWAYS, ALWAYS talk to a TRUSTED ADULT.
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Now, let’s take a moment to think about what kind of behaviors we want to see in our own classrooms. This is what a respectful classroom looks like.
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Don’ts: Don’t use your body for hurting others. No hitting, pushing, tripping, pulling, pinching, kicking.... Don’t use your mouth to hurt others. If you have nothing nice to say DON’T say it. Don’t leave anyone out - even if they look or act differently from you DO’s DO use your body to help others if they need it (to carry stuff, to clean up, to give high fives or elbow greetings) DO say kind things to your classmates. Tell someone if they make you happy and let them know you appreciate them. DO include everyone if you can...if you see someone being left out, ask a teacher for help or ask that person to join. A simple smile can also make someone happy.
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Read poem
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We are Helpful
NOVA Prevention Education Programs Bully-free Coloring Page
We Share
1-800-675-6900 www.novabucks.org
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What is bullying behavior? Verbal - things people say. Like: name calling, insults or threats Physical - things done to someone’s body or belongings like: pushing, hitting, or hiding someone’s belongings. Social or emotional - these are things that make people feel bad, like: leaving them out or ignoring them. In bullying behavior there is an inequality of power: older student vs. younger student, group vs. individual, a physically larger student vs. a smaller student. (Share a story)
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How many of you have seen someone bullying someone else or have had it happen to you? How does bullying make someone feel? Scared, feel badly about themselves, Lack self confidence, guilty, excluded, alone.
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Have you ever heard the saying “put yourself in someone else's shoes”? Do they really mean swap shoes with someone? No... What does it really mean? Emphasize empathy. Thinking of others feelings before we say and do.
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It is never the victim's fault!
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Why do bullies bully? To gain power or control over their victim to hurt, upset, alarm or annoy their victim to get attention or to get their way ,to act tough, cool or popular maybe because they were being bullied at home - by a parent, sibling or someone in the neighborhood. Bullies have low self-esteem Bullies try to make other people feel badly about themselves.
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Ways to handle bullying behavior. Walk awayIf you aren’t there they can’t bully you. Ignoring the bully works well, especially if you are able to walk away. Avoid- Staying clear of the bully is a smart thing to do. Ignore- A bully is looking for a reaction from you. If you ignore them, you aren't giving them what they are looking for and they may leave you alone. Lots of time students try to ignore but they still give the bully the reaction he / she is looking for. There are many ways your body language shows how you are feeling. Do something unexpected or kindDo something unexpected or kind, you may catch them off guard and they might stop bullying you. Being kind shows you are confident.
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Talk to the person bullying- This one may take some practice. Remember how we talked about our body language and what it says about how we are feeling? Use a calm confident voice and look the person bullying in the eye. Tell an adult - bullying can easily get worse... If you are being bullied and it is not stopping, it is important to let an adult you know and trust, know.
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This one is so important... It has its own slide! Be an upstander- when you see someone being bullied, be a friend. Interrupt it, tell the person bullying to stop, tell an adult.
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Try some scenarios. Present a situation and ask student which one of these tools would they try to use to solve the problem. Remind them that not every tool works for every situation, that is why we have many tools to use. You can practice the same situation and have a student select a different tool. Remember the educator is always the person showing the bullying behavior.
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Telling an adult about a bullying situation is not tattling. Tattling is to get someone in trouble, telling is to get someone out of trouble.
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Ask the students who their trusted adults are, who could they talk to if they had a problem?
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If time permits, you can do a quick review with the quiz questions.
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Be safe. Walk towards an adult or other students.
Being kind shows you are confident.
Sometimes avoiding a bully might be helpful.
Helping each other is always a good choice.
Don’t give the bully a reaction.
If you feel comfortable, talk to the bully.
Shoulders back, head up high, Look the bully in the eye. Use your words or walk away, Don’t play the game that bullies play.
1-800-675-6900 www.novabucks.org Talk with an adult you trust.
Don’t join the bully. Be kind to the person being bullied!
NOVA Prevention Education Programs Bully-free Handout for Grades 2 and 3
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UPSTANDERS UPSTANDERS Be an Upstander, not a Bully!
Help others who are being bullied.
Are kind to the person being bullied. Refuse to join in on the bullying.
WORD SEARCH Can you find the following words? (ACROSS or DOWN)
◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊
RESPECT ALLIES UPSTANDER KIND FRIEND HELP CONFIDENT
Bullies
J C M A L X F U
Like to be in control.
Z O C B Z R R P
Like to push your buttons.
S N I T A U I S
May feel angry.
H F H E L P E T K I N D L Y N A J D M A I X DN R E S P E C T D
May feel jealous. May have been bullied by someone else.
H N I I S J E E O T F I N L G R 1-800-675-6900 www.novabucks.org
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Click: How many of you have seen someone bullying someone else or have had it happen to you? (show of hands/or stand up) Click: How does bullying make someone feel? Scared, feel badly about themselves, Lack self confidence,scared, excluded, alone.
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Verbal bullying: Bullying using our mouth and words click for examples of verbal bullying
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Physical bullying: bullying someone using hands or body click for examples
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Emotional bullying also called social bullying: this one someone doesn’t need to use their words or bodies to cause harm. click for examples
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Verbal, physical and emotional bully may be different how they are done, but they are all wrong and hurtful. Watch video about children discussing what bullying is and feels like
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Why do bullies bully? To gain power or control over their victim to hurt, upset, alarm or annoy their victim to get attention or to get their way ,to act tough, cool or popular maybe because they were being bullied at home ‐ by a parent, sibling or someone in the neighborhood. Bullies have low self‐esteem Bullies try to make other people feel badly about themselves.
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Ways to handle bullying behavior. Walk awayIf you aren’t there they can’t bully you. Ignoring the bully works well, especially if you are able to walk away. Avoid- Staying clear of the bully is a smart thing to do. Ignore- A bully is looking for a reaction from you. If you ignore them, you aren't giving them what they are looking for and they may leave you alone. Lots of time students try to ignore but they still give the bully the reaction he / she is looking for. There are many ways your body language shows how you are feeling. Do something unexpected or kindDo something unexpected or kind, you may catch them off guard and they might stop bullying you. Being kind shows you are confident. Be an upstander- when you see someone being bullied, be a friend. Interrupt it, tell the person bullying to stop, tell an adult.
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Talk to the person bullying- This one may take some practice. Remember how we talked about our body language and what it says about how we are feeling? Use a calm confident voice and look the person bullying in the eye. Tell an adult - bullying can easily get worse... If you are being bullied and it is not stopping, it is important to let an adult you know and trust, know.
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reiterate that it is not the victim's fault and they are not alone
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Play video first Be a buddy…give examples of how to be a friend Interrupt…give examples of how to interrupt the behavior even when it is not comfortable Speak out…This is the hardest skill to learn, ask the students their ideas and expand upon. Tell someone. Who can they tell
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A lot of kids say that they don’t want to tell an adult about bullying because they don’t want to be called a tattle‐tale. But there’s a big difference between “telling” and “tattling.” click for Telling and tattling to pop up and click again for definitions.
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Susie’s cat ran away ...how would that feel? Volleyball and be happy for a friend… ● Pay attention to other people’s feelings, watch other’s body language to see how other’s are feeling v
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Talk about how bullying is a behavior and behaviors can change
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What does REPUTATION mean? click for definition Click for examples of positive examples of a good reputation
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After reading scenario click for question and click again for answer
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After reading scenario click for question and click again for answer
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After reading scenario click for question and click again for answer
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Be safe. Walk towards an adult or other students.
Being kind shows you are confident.
Sometimes avoiding a bully might be helpful.
Helping each other is always a good choice.
Don’t give the bully a reaction.
If you feel comfortable, talk to the bully.
Shoulders back, head up high, Look the bully in the eye. Use your words or walk away, Don’t play the game that bullies play.
1-800-675-6900 www.novabucks.org Talk with an adult you trust.
Don’t join the bully. Be kind to the person being bullied!
NOVA Prevention Education Programs Bully-free Handout for Grades 2 and 3
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UPSTANDERS UPSTANDERS Be an Upstander, not a Bully!
Help others who are being bullied.
Are kind to the person being bullied. Refuse to join in on the bullying.
WORD SEARCH Can you find the following words? (ACROSS or DOWN)
◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊
RESPECT ALLIES UPSTANDER KIND FRIEND HELP CONFIDENT
Bullies
J C M A L X F U
Like to be in control.
Z O C B Z R R P
Like to push your buttons.
S N I T A U I S
May feel angry.
H F H E L P E T K I N D L Y N A J D M A I X DN R E S P E C T D
May feel jealous. May have been bullied by someone else.
H N I I S J E E O T F I N L G R 1-800-675-6900 www.novabucks.org
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Let’s work together to be a bullybully - free school! Online or offline, bullying is: • name calling or put downs •
taunting
•
spreading rumors or gossip
•
excluding someone
•
social manipulation
•
threats
•
taking someone's belongings
•
•
always choosing the same person last hitting, pushing or shoving
If you are being bullied, here are
8 BullyBully-Stopper Strategies: 1. Stay calm and try to ignore what the bully is saying or doing—don’t let the bully know you are feeling angry, upset or embarrassed. 2. Walk away to another group of students or adults. 3. If you can, avoid situations that may be difficult. 4. Find Upstanders and ask them for support. 5. Try using humor with the bully. You may need to practice but humor can help stop the bullying. 6. If you feel comfortable, calmly talk to the bully and let the bully know how you feel. 7. Try something kind and unexpected. unexpected
put an end to bullying. spread the word!
8. Always talk with a trusted adult for help and support.
Shoulders back, head up high, Look the bully in the eye. Use your words or walk away, Don’t play the game that bullies play.
1-800-675-6900
www.novabucks.org
NOVA Prevention Education Programs Bully-free Handout for Grades 4 and 5
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Can you find all 8 words in this Word Search? Sometimes dealing with a bully is just like solving a puzzle. There are lots of different ways to stop a bully. This may be a BIG challenge for you. Just like stopping bullies, you need to try. Maybe you can solve this on your own. Maybe you will need to team up with some other students. Or you may need to ask a teacher or your family for help!
confident
respect
exclude humor
Upstander NOVA
support
team
HINT: Look right to left, left to right, diagonally, top to bottom and bottom to top.
R Q E D S H B J I E X E J A R
8 Ways for YOU to be an Upstander:
H J E O A U E X V Z D I L Q E
1) Help others who are being bullied.
O P W Z C M T S P U U P N P D
2) Stop untrue or harmful messages
S L P S J O O N L Z M P N T N
from spreading.
S U P P O R T C E E Z O H F A
3) Get friends involved!
R I E A K Y X F O D V B L H T
4) Make friends outside of your circle. 5) If someone is new at your school, make an effort to include them.
T E R K K E S W O A I U H L S N E S L F N O M O G G F Z W P
6) Refuse to be a “bystander”.
K W D P K Y B P K Z X F N J U
7) Respect others’ difference and help
W C F R E H D P J W P U H O Z
others to respect differences.
B M I Q W C W C Y L X S J V C
8) Talk with a trusted adult for support
B T T C E X T E P O E G A M Y
and help.
M A E T S T Y B K J W U W M L
1-800-675-6900 www.novabucks.org
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You Can Stop Bullying! Bullying: Online or offline, bullying is: • gossip • spreading rumors • excluding someone • refusing to talk to someone • name calling • insults • social manipulation • threats • hitting • pushing • shoving • always choosing the same person last for a team/group project • offensive gestures • stealing or hiding things • damaging belongings
If you are being bullied: •
• • • •
Bullies: Like to be in control Like to push your buttons
•
• •
Stay calm and try to ignore what the bully is saying or doing—don’t let the bully know you are feeling angry, upset or embarrassed. If you can, avoid situations that may be difficult. Walk away. Find allies and ask them for support. Try using humor with the bully. You may need to practice but humor can help stop the bullying. If you feel comfortable, calmly talk to the bully and let the bully know how you feel. Try something unexpected but kind. Always talk with an adult you trust for help and support.
Like the attention May feel angry
May feel jealous
May have been bullied by someone else
NOVA Prevention Education Programs Bully-free Handout for Grades 5 and 6
1-800-675-6900 www.novabucks.org
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Isn’t it amazing? Sometimes dealing with a bully is just like solving a puzzle. There are lots of different ways to stop a bully. Always remember if one attempt does not work, we need to find another way. This maze may be a BIG challenge for you. Just like stopping bullies, you need to try. Maybe you can solve this on your own. Maybe you will need to team up with some classmates. Or maybe you may need to ask your teacher or family for help! Find the path from dot to dot.
Good Luck!
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• How do you think they are different. • Do you think being behind a “screen” helps of hurts? Why?
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Cyberbullying is bullying that takes place using electronic technology. Electronic technology includes devices and equipment such as cell phones, computers, and tablets as well as communication tools including social media sites, text messages, chat, and websites. This is about using electronic technology in the responsible way. • When cyberbullies get behind a screen, they often feel as if they are invisible. Do you think they are? • How quickly can these messages and images spread? • How do you think embarrassing/humiliating message images make the victim feel? ⮊ Show video cyberbullying clip #1
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Examples of cyberbullying include mean text messages or emails, rumors sent by email or posted on social networking sites, and embarrassing pictures, videos, websites, or fake profiles. ⮊ Click to get the bullet points: • Sending mean, embarrassing, or threatening text messages, instant messages, or e‐ mails. • Posting rumors or lies about someone in a public area (e.g., discussion board). • Distributing embarrassing pictures of someone by posting them in a public area (e.g., website) or sending them via e‐mail. ⮊Click to get the website illustration.
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• Assuming another person’s electronic identity to post or send messages about others with the intent of causing the other person harm. • Disclosing someone else’s personal information in a public area (e.g., website) in order to cause embarrassment.
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Refer back to the discussion what is the difference between bullying and cyberbullying…. • It is a big deal. • Students who encourage or “like” cyberbullying, in fact, are bullies too. • Sometimes, students do not think things through or think about the consequences. That’s why we are here today…to help us all learn not to cyberbully. • Social norm…most students do not cyberbully. Let’s take a look at a video and then let’s discuss… Show video and then go to next slide…
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Let’s take a look at a video and then let’s discuss… ⮊Show video 2 – Talent Show Build victim empathy and ask students what would make Lindsay say this? How is Patty feeling. ⮊Ask what motivates cyberbullies to text, comment and share hurtful, humiliating, embarrassing things?
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Cyberbullying can happen any time of the day or night. Cyberbullying messages and images can be distributed quickly to a very wide audience. Deleting inappropriate or harassing messages, texts, and pictures is extremely difficult after they have been posted or sent. Build empathy. • How do you think Stacey is feeling? • What would you do if you were in this situation? • If Stacey was your sister or your friend…what could you do?
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What do you think it means to be cybersmart?
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Think about your privacy and the privacy of others. Tell a reputation story. Think before you send: the 3 Ps ‐ Parent Principal Police
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For your own safety, the safety of others and your reputation….
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⮊ Show video Ball activity / with the victim
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Ball activity / with the bystander Then with the upstander
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⮊ Video #5 is part 3 of the cyberbullying
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⮊ Video #5 is part 3 of the cyberbullying
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Slide #17 Talk about resources
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NOVA supports and empowers crime victims in Bucks County Support 24‐hours on the hotline Website for further support
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Monday – Friday: 9:00 AM to 7:00 PM Saturday: 9:00 AM to 12:00 PM
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be responsible
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be respectful Cyberbullying is digital cruelty: •
Personal insults
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Excluding someone
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Harassing posts
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Social manipulation
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Rude language
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Threats
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Harsh criticisms
•
Offensive photos, videos, drawings
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Spreading rumors or gossip
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Humiliating websites
If you are cyberbullied:
Stop • Block • Tell
1. Stop! Take me to calm down. 2. Do not respond to a cyberbullying message.
6. If you are threatened with harm, inform the police.
3. Block that person from contac ng you.
7. You can report cyberbullying to wiredsafety.org
4. Do not erase the messages. They may be needed to take ac on.
8. Contact NOVA for support. 24-hour vic m support hotline 1-800-675-6900
5. Tell a trusted adult about the bullying and keep telling un l the adult takes ac on.
Visit our website: novabucks.org
If you are a bystander to the cyberbullying: online, text messages, or mul player game sites -
Be
U P S T A N D E R
•
Support the person being cyberbullied.
•
Refuse to pass along messages.
•
Tell anyone who supports the cyberbullying to stop.
•
Block communica ons with cyberbullies. 1. Report to a trusted adult.
an
2424-Hour Support Hotline
1-800-675-6900 www.novabucks.org NOVA Preven on Educa on Programs Cyberbullying Preven on Handout
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You already know it is never safe to give out personal informa on: your full name, home address, phone number, town, school, or a mall near you. Most social networks require users to be a minimum age of 13. Se9ng a page to private is smart, and a step in the right direc on…here are some additional guidelines: • Pos ng or sending photos? Think before you send. They could be used to hurt you now or later. • Posting your plans or whereabouts could be dangerous. • Posting any personal information about your friends is not safe for your friends. • Forwarding any hurtful messages, videos, or pictures is cyberbullying. • Posting on a bashing website is cyberbullying. • Protect your password. Only share your password with your parent/guardian. • Always check with your parent/guardian before: ∗ uploading pictures of yourself, your family or your friends ∗ accep ng e-mails, photos, downloads, or website addresses from anyone you meet online • Meeting an online friend face-to-face is never safe unless your parent/guardian approves and
goes with you.
Always remember...If someone says something or sends something that makes you feel unsafe, uncomfortable, or seems strange, do not respond and tell a trusted adult.
ask yourself
1.
How private is the message I am sending?
2.
Am I willing to have others read this message or forward it without my permission?
3.
Am I sending or saying anything that could be considered insul ng or controversial?
NOVA Preven on Educa on Programs Cyberbullying Preven on Handout
1-800-675-6900 www.novabucks.org
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Good questions to have the students reflect on what they do online.
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Assume everyone is watching – Every time you send a message, post a picture, comment or like something – it's out there for anyone to repost, copy or send to someone else. Think about the sites you visit, social media activity Guard your privacy: Protect your password (share only with guardian/parents), Put all settings on PRIVATE. Only accept friend request from people you know directly (have met face to face) Remember that everything is permanent and public: The internet never forgets. Even with private accounts, some social media records and uses every bit of information it gets. Google does the same with search and browsing habits. If a student is logged into their google account, the service tracks every keyword they search, every web page Protect your reputation: Show your best side… post positive comments and pictures, Treat others with respect, self-reflect before you self-reveal. This includes what type of user names you use, pictures, comments, etc…
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● ● ● ● ● ●
posts comments texts Email photos video
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Assume everyone is watching – Every time you send a message, post a picture, comment or like something – its out there for anyone to repost, copy or send to someone else. Think about the sites you visit, social media activity ● Guard your privacy: Protect your password (share only with guardian/parents), Put all settings on PRIVATE. Only accept friend request from people you know directly (have met face to face) ● Remember that everything is permanent and public: The internet never forgets. Even with private accounts, some social media records and uses every bit of information it gets. Google does the same with search and browsing habits. If a student is logged into their google account, the service tracks every keyword they search, every web page ● Protect your reputation: Show your best side… post positive comments and pictures, Treat others with respect, self-reflect before you self-reveal. This includes what type of user names you use, pictures, comments, etc... Protect your reputation - discuss what this looks like (in real life and online)
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This is a great discussion about how sometimes we “hide” behind a screen when we want to call someone out or communicate in a way that we normally wouldn’t in “real life”. Remind students that all comments, posts can be traced back by using the IP address (all devices have a unique IP address, so in cases of online bullying/harassment – it would be very easy to determine who initiated the behavior. ● When we begin to think about our Digital Footprint, we need to be aware that what we do online is exactly the same as the “real world”. Whether at school or with friends: what you say and how you act effects the way others view you. THE SAME OCCURS online. Its possible that your words, images, videos posted will become a part of your Digital footprint – ●
So what exactly is your Digital Footprint?
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Many middle schoolers are already posting and sharing information about themselves -and others -- on social media. But in a world where oversharing might seem like the norm, it’s important for kids to think about their digital footprints. In this video, your students can hear what other teens have to say about sharing on social media, then think critically about the decisions they’re making any time they post something online. Video is around 3:12 min long…really important information though :)
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Remind students that behaviors can change! Even if someone has posted or commented something unkind/inappropriate in the past - there is always time to change the behaviors.
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Bases on profile pictures alone - who would you choose as a candidate to help with the teen website? Why? What stands out? Are you judging someone on a photo? Do you think others do that? YES!!!!! Of course people do….
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After seeing online activity of the candidates - did your answer change? Do you think employers search for possible employees? Colleges look at social media?
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A real life example
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Slide #17
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Talk about resources
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Slide #18 NOVA supports and empowers crime victims in Bucks County Support 24-hours on the hotline ● Website for further support
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Slide #19
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Monday – Friday: 9:00 AM to 7:00 PM Saturday: 9:00 AM to 12:00 PM
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Your Digital Footprint Your digital footprint is the record or trail le? by the things you do online. That includes social media ac vity, personal websites, online subscrip ons, any photo galleries and video that person has uploaded—essen ally, anything on the Internet with your name.
SHOW YOUR BEST SIDE AND WHAT YOU CARE ABOUT IN THE WORLD! Be deliberate in what you share and think about how it would appear to friends, family, and your school community. • Post posi ve comments and pictures. • Comment on ar cles and blog covering topics important to you. • Share thoughts about your favorite shows and causes. • Comment on the videos that inspire and teach you. • Apply the golden rule. Treat others with respect. Excerpts taken from h ps://www.smore.com/6pbw-what-s-your-digital-footprint
TIPS FOR MANAGING YOUR DIGITAL FOOTPRINT Whether at school or away from school, whether talking to friends, family, or school staff, what you say, becomes a part of your online profile. If it is digital (even if it is private) it is possible that your words, images, and videos will become a part of your online footprint. 1.
Use privacy se"ngs and keep track of updates to privacy se/ngs on sites you use.
2.
Keep a list of all accounts and delete the ones you no longer use.
3.
Only share what you would want everyone in your community to know. Self-reflect before you self-reveal. This includes usernames, passwords, last names, pictures, addresses, and any other important informa on.
4.
Protect your password. Use strong passwords that safeguard your digital data. Share only with your parent or guardian.
5.
Sending is like publishing forever. Every me you send a message, post a picture, comment or like, it is out there for anyone to repost, copy or send to someone else. And the Internet never forgets.
6.
There is another side to your digital footprint, too—it’s not always informa on that you choose to make public. Remember: even with privacy controls, Facebook s ll records and uses every bit of informa on it gets to be<er determine it’s users marke ng demographics. Google does the same with search and browsing habits. If a student is logged into their Google account, the service tracks every keyword they search, every Web page they visit and every me they visit YouTube.
R
Excerpts taken from: h p://www.teachthought.com/technology/11-)ps-for-students-tomanage-their-digital-footprints/
HOW WILL YOU RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE’S PRIVACY? • Your ac ons can shape another’s digital footprint. Check first with the person before you post their informa on or picture. • Digital ci zenship is the responsibility of everyone that goes online.
2424-Hour Support Hotline
1-800-675-6900 www.novabucks.org NOVA Preven on Educa on Programs Digital Footprint Handout
Take the Quiz
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1. Your digital footprint: A. Isn’t as important as what the people who know you in real life think about you. B. Something you should be aware of and make posi ve efforts to control. C. Doesn’t ma<er because the Internet changes too o?en for anything to s ck for a long me. D. Not too important because everybody’s got something embarrassing online. 2. If you find something in your digital footprint that is unfla ering, you should: A. Not worry about it. B. Go to a trusted adult and together a<empt to fix it, such as untagging a photo or dele ng an account. C. Post something unfla<ering about someone else. D. Never go online again. 3. It is important to respect my friends’ digital footprint because: A. Digital ci zenship is the responsibility of everyone who goes online. B. My ac ons can affect their digital footprint. C. I want my friends to treat my digital footprint with the same respect. D. All of these answers are correct. 4. You are angry with a friend and want to post your feelings online. What should you do? A. Post how you feel, but don’t use any names. B. Post how you feel, but make sure what you have posted is the truth. C. Don’t post but ask another friend to post something about why you are angry. D. None of these answers are correct. 5. The adver)sing you see online is: A. Something you should ignore. B. Some mes the result of corpora ons tracking your online ac vi es. C. Connected to your online ac vi es if you shop online using a credit card. D. All if these are correct.
ANSWERS 1. B, 2. B, 3. D, 4. D, 5. D
Taken from h p://www.proprofs.com/quiz-school/story.php?)tle=your-digital-footprint&id=286994
NOVA Preven on Educa on Programs Digital Footprint Handout
1-800-675-6900 www.novabucks.org
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_________________ Hi, I’m __________. I’m here with 6th graders from Ms. ___________and Ms. _________classes, our counselor, Mrs. Ensig and NOVA educators, Ms. Richter and Ms. Baram. We’re here to talk about Gender Bullying. Gender bullying is mean and it’s illegal. It’s no laughing matter If it’s happening to you, we’ll show you things that you can do to stop it. You can also call NOVA for help. We’ll talk about that at the end of this program. Show video. • Discuss differences between joking and bullying. Joking: • builds friendships • everyone has fun
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• brings people together • everyone feels good • and is NOT a crime Bullying: • weakens relationships • someone gets hurt • people feel left out • someone is sad • and IS A CRIME
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_________________ Hi, I’m __________. What is Gender? Let’s watch a video to get some clues. Show video. • What is a stereotype? (Labeling behaviors based on gender. Behaviors not the person.) • What stereotypes did you hear in the video? • Discuss that people are sometimes targeted who are out of the norm. (ex: Riley)
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_________________ Hi, I’m __________. So then what is gender bullying?
People can bully boys or girls, but if someone bullies us based on being male or female (a boy or girl) it becomes a different kind of bullying. It is called gender bullying or sexual harassment. In this class today, we are going to refer to it as gender bullying. And it can happen online or offline.
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_________________ Hi, I’m __________. Here are some examples of gender bullying. •
Telling a boy he plays like a girl.
•
Talking to a person and staring at his or her body.
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Pantsing.
Can you think of some examples?
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_________________ Hi, I’m __________. There are three key words to help identify if something is gender bullying. Does anyone want to tell use what they think some of the words might be? • Does the behavior make the person feel uncomfortable? • Is the behavior unwanted? • Is the behavior unwelcome?
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_________________ Hi, I’m __________. • Do you think boys can gender bully girls? Can you give an example? • Do you think girls can gender bully boys? Can you give an example? • Do you think boys can gender bully other boys? Let’s watch this video. • Do you think girls can gender bully other girls? Can you give an example? • Do you think adults can gender bully boys or girls? Can you give an example?
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________________________ There are three types of Gender Bullying. Can you guess what they are? • Visual – what you see. • Verbal – what your hear. • Physical – what is felt.
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___________________ Watch this video and see if you can find the different types of gender bullying that are occurring. 1. Verbal comment 2. Unwanted touch 3. Being pushed into an wanted place 4. Verbal comment, staring at body, unwanted touch
Being gender bullied can affect the person it lots of ways. • physically ill • upset stomach • worried, fearful • angry
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• powerless • helpless • alone Can you think of some others? Gender bullying can also make the bystanders feel uncomfortable.
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________________________________
What is Visual Gender bullying? read definition Can you think of some examples?
Anything you can see means just that. It can be online or offline, pictures, drawings, gestures. • Posting a comment on Instagram. • Sending or photoshopping pictures. With sexual bullying, the focus is on things like a person's appearance or body parts.
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____________________________ What is Verbal Gender bullying? read definition Can you think of some examples? • Words…comments, name calling. • Using words that refer to someone's sexuality in a derogatory way. Like calling something ‘gay’ to make them feel bad. • What’s a rumor? Rumors are comments about somebody. The information may be true or a lie but they can hurt either way. For some people, it is easier to believe false rumors than the truth. It can be really hard to undo. • And jokes or stories should never make fun of somebody or make you or anyone else feel uncomfortable.
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______________________________
What is Physical Gender bullying? read definition Can you think of some examples? Show video. • How do you think Jeremey is feeling? • What about Leah? • What bothers one person, may not bother another. • If it happens to you, it is how the behavior makes you feel that counts.
Your body belongs to you and if anyone is • starring at you, • invading your space or • touching you or your clothing in a way that makes you uncomfortable, you have the right to tell them to stop.
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_____________________________
What do you think the expression “eye of the beholder” means? Remember the 3 Us.
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__________________________________
To help us understand this, let’s look at this picture. Everyone has their own point of view. Take a look at this. How many of you see a face? Does anyone see anything else? Now take a look (click). This is an example of different points of view.
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________________________________
So that's why if someone is doing something that makes you uncomfortable, you need to let them know your point of view. It may not be theirs but it is yours and that is what counts.
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_______________________________
Regardless of the situation, it is never the victim's fault. What do you think we mean when we say that it is never the victim's fault? Discuss. • Gender bullying is a crime. • Gender bullying is a choice. • The victim is not the cause of another person’s choice.
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_______________________________________
If you are gender bullied, what could you do?
Some people try to ignore it. (Go to next slide)
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______________________________________
•
Some people try to ignore it but it does not solve the problem and it may get worse.
Talking point: If you are uncomfortable talking directly to the bully, you still can be proactive by getting support.
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_________________________________________ This harassment is unwanted. If you feel comfortable speaking with the bully, tell her/him a confident voice you want this to stop. How do you act confident? • Stand straight • Face the bully • Look him/her in the eye • Use an assertive voice (not quiet, not yelling) • Use “I” messages
Let’s look at the videos to see examples: Video – Brad • What was the gender bullying? • How did Brad deal with it?
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Video – Amada • What was the gender bullying? • How did Amanda deal with it?
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________________________________ If you don’t feel comfortable telling the person fact‐to‐face then go to an adult or friend for support. (go to next slide)
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_____________________________
What if someone older than you is making you feel uncomfortable? Video • How do you think this student feels? • What could this student do? • Do you think something like this could happen to a boy?
Get Support. • It is unfortunate, but sometimes adults, teachers, coaches do things that make us uncomfortable. • Sometimes intentional, sometimes not intentional. • We need to tell another adult to make sure we are safe. Remember, it is never your fault Go to next slide.
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Also get support. Who can you tell?
There are a lot of people that can support us.
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Parent
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Teacher/Counselor
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School Administrator
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Friend
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NOVA
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We are also here to support you. We can go with you to tell an adult.
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________________________________
Remember the video we saw where students were being gender bullied in the school hallways? There were lots of bystanders who saw what was happening. Why didn’t anyone help? Maybe they did not know what to do. Let’s look at what we can do to become an Upstander. Go to next slide.
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_________________________________
Read slide.
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________________________________ Read slide. Ask if anyone has other ideas on what they could do to be an Upstander.
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Everyone says together: This is about RESPECT!
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Slide #17 Talk about resources
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Slide #18 NOVA supports and empowers crime victims in Bucks County Support 24‐hours on the hotline Website for further support
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Slide #19 Monday – Friday: 9:00 AM to 7:00 PM Saturday: 9:00 AM to 12:00 PM
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1. Ask students what kinds of electronic devices they use…. 2. The words they use, the images and videos they send or post, all have incredible power. ⮚ What are some ways that your words have power? ⮚ What about images: pictures, drawings and videos? 3. Talk about what Power is….It can be positive or destructive. ⮚ In a positive way…Power can help or support someone. ⮚ And you have power to avoid risks by making good decisions about your online activities. ⮚ What we send and post online can impact our lives and maybe our friends and family. 4. What is reputation? Is it about how many likes you get? While that might seem important to you now, how adults, schools, parents of your friends think of you can be helped by what you post or send. How may of you want to get a job someday? How many f you want to go to college? Employers and universities are looking at online activity to determine character.
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It is not just about you, it is about everyone's: reputations and safety. ⮚ Can you think who that might include? • Family • Friends • ????? 5. Today we are going to highlight some of the risks that you can avoid. We want you to experience safe and rewarding online activities. Tell story
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The decisions we make with our electronic devices are important. ⮚ Look at this photo…. Does anyone know where this is? Times Square, NYC If you were there, who might be with you? What safety rules would you be practicing? • That is correct! We need to be mindful of the safety rules our families have taught us! Would you ever go there alone? Why? ⮚ Now let’s look at this photo…. Are they alone? NO…if they are connected to wifi…they are connected to someone. And what about mobile phones? Do you think they need to be mindful of safety rules? Let’s get started with iSmart.
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Know the difference between information worth sharing and private information. There are many ways you can share your ideas and creativity online, but personal information should remain private. Never input personal identity information such as phone numbers, addresses, or your date of birth in order to download something. And never, ever give Social Security numbers or credit card information.
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You wouldn’t give a key to their house to someone without their permission. Same thing for information you may know about them. It is up to them to give out info.
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Show video Click for safety rules private identity information in your password. Identity thieves can use this information to pretend to be you. • Don’t use a word in the dictionary as a password. Hackers use programs that will try every word in the dictionary to guess passwords. • Do use combinations of letters, numbers, and symbols. These are harder to crack than regular words because there are more combinations to try. Which password looks like the best choice? The 3rd choice because no identifying info and a symbol was used.
Protect yourself ‐‐ and your stuff ‐‐ with strong passwords that safeguard
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your digital data. Use these tips to help you do it: • Don’t use passwords that are easy to guess – such as your nickname or your pet’s name. People who know you well can guess these kinds of passwords. • Don’t use any words found in the dictionary
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Show video…discuss Self‐reflect before you self‐reveal. If you post something or send something…make sure you have the approval of that person. Reinforce with the 3 Ps
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story
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Protect yourself ‐‐ and your stuff ‐‐ with strong passwords that safeguard your digital data. Once you post something online, you can’t take it back. Talk about: Posting embarrassing things about themselves or pother people. • Pranks/silly photos • Revealing pictures
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Between minors: The sending of sexually explicit photos, images, text messages, or e‐mails by using a cell phone or other mobile device.
NO OLDER TEEN OR ADULT SHOULD • TALK ABOUT DATING YOU • ASK FOR REVEALING PICTURES • ASK TO MEET YOU OFFLINE The reasons teens “sext” vary widely. In some cases it’s a form of flirting or a way of showing affection for a boyfriend or girlfriend or someone the teen is interested in dating. Sometimes it’s impulsive behavior, perhaps at a party. There are also cases where the teen is responding to peer pressure, bullying or even threats. In rarer cases, adults solicit images from teens.
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the sending of sexually explicit photos, images, text messages, or e‐mails by using a cell phone or other mobile device.
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Avoid the risks: Sending mean messages Posting inappropriate pictures Talking to people you don’t know Visiting inappropriate sites
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spy∙ware ˈspīwer/ noun noun: spyware software that enables a user to obtain covert information about another's computer activities by transmitting data covertly from their hard drive. Spyware is a general term used to describe software that performs certain behaviors, generally without appropriately obtaining your consent first, such as: Advertising Collecting personal information Changing the configuration of your computer Spyware is often associated with software that displays advertisements (called adware) or software that tracks personal or sensitive information.
Be very careful with what you download. Don’t download free games or videos to your computer. These programs often come with spyware and viruses that will land your computer in the shop – and you in hot water.
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You saw spyware on the screen…what is it?
Malware' is an umbrella term used to refer to a variety of forms of hostile or intrusive software, including computer viruses, worms, trojan horses, ransomware, spyware, adware, scareware, and other malicious programs. It can take the form of executable code, scripts, active content, and other software.
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Don’t be tricked! • completing four surveys • signing up for six trial offers to get your prize your e‐mail address is usually sold to every spammer with a computer That is why it is essential that you never open email attachments unless you know who it's from and you are expecting it.
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Slide 16 1
_Marked as resolved_
1
Susan this looks great. I think I would like to trade the girl at her computer video slide with the Lincoln slide. The video is a more memorable slide to end with. Thank you for all of the work on these programs.
Susan Romano, 12/7/2020
L. F., 12/8/2020
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_Re-opened_ Great feedback Lori!
Pattie Educate, 12/8/2020
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The gaming icon is included because gamers have to follow the same safety guidelines. All of the social media platforms have guidelines to follow. Create appropriate screen nemes. Do not use personal information in your screen name. Facebook can record and access all information you share on Facebook. All of it! I can also access information other Facebook users share about you on Facebook, as well as a variety of information other Facebook users share about you on Facebook, as well as information from the websites you visit through the “like” button – even if you are not logged in at the time. Although Facebook allows you to make certain information private, some information is public, no matter what you do. Only accept friends you know in real life. Do you really know who you are talking to? Keep in mind the 3Ps
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Slide #17 Talk about resources
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Slide #18 NOVA supports and empowers crime victims in Bucks County Support 24‐hours on the hotline Website for further support
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Slide #19 Monday – Friday: 9:00 AM to 7:00 PM Saturday: 9:00 AM to 12:00 PM
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i Smart iSmart L ,
, ,
U , , G . Personal information about you, your family, and your friends should remain private.
B +
, . Most have age restrictions.
P . Use strong passwords that safeguard your digital data. Share only with your parent or guardian.
A P - R
P . Self-reflect before you self-reveal thoughts or images using a phone or computer. R
. Anything your say or do can be copied, pasted, and sent to other people without your permission. Assume someone may be watching. Your parent, your principal, the police, or someone you do not know. C . Be careful what you download. Free games or videos often come with spyware and viruses that will land your computer in the shop.
Treat others the way they want to be treated. T , + . Not everything online is true. B - + / . Not everyone is who they say they are! E1 / -/ + . • Trust your instincts. • Leave a situation if it is inappropriate, strange, or you do not feel safe. • Report inappropriate behavior or content to a parent, guardian, counselor, teacher, or any adult you know and trust. B - . Spend time with your family and friends in real life.
www.novabucks.org NOVA Prevention Education Programs iSmart Handout
24-Hour Support Hotline
1-800-675-6900
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Can you find all 10 words in this Word Search? This is a challenging word search puzzle. Maybe you can solve this on your own. Maybe you will need to team up with some other students. Or you may need to ask a teacher or your family for help! Good Luck!
ismart privacy pictures responsibility positive
download respect text password golden
HINT: Look right to left, left to right, diagonally, top to bottom and bottom
i s m a r t b b z u c v n u s g w y y d s k w z p o g l p e t i f j c v k r y o z r b w r b r n s j a v w l c l z j n u q h e f g p v k e i r o w z t r e s p o n s i b i l i t y c p h j r u r e d r g g b j p i v v i r t t m d u p x v e a p o q l e b y a a l s i d v s g d y q v n o w t t o x c i s t k x s t l c v m i i g w t w n j u e n m h e d g o o z i o s a x w t c e t o r p n n s r f t o t c e p s e r l i i o d h d l y x n b i g x r k r p g d 1-800-675-6900 www.novabucks.org
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Slide 2 1
glad to see the updated outreach for help on all our NOVA help slides on all the programs Emily French, 8/31/2021
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Today we are going to talk about some important safety rules. I bet you already know a lot of safety rules! Let’s play a little game… What should you do when you get in the car? (pause for answers) Put on your seat belt! I bet you already know a lot of safety rules! Let’s play a little game… What should you do when you get in the car? (pause for answers) Put on your seat belt! What about when you get on your bike? (Pause for answers) Put on your helmet! Ok, lets try one more… what about when you are about to cross a busy street? (Pause for answers) Look both ways/hold a grown ups hand. Why do we learn so many safety rules? (pause for answers) Just incase! Now do we put on a seat belt because we think we think we are going to have an accident? Or do we put on our helmets when we ride our bike because we think…I am going to crash into a tree today? No, we do those things, just incase! Today we are going to learn some more just incase safety rules that have to do with our bodies.
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I brought my friend Chester (Show your stuffed animal Chester) with me to talk more about staying safe. Can everyone “wave hello” to Chester? Is Chester real? No ,but he helps me talk to you about staying safe, Today we are going to talk about your body and people touching your body.
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I have a really important question for you. Who does your body belong to? (pause for answers) You are in charge of your body and you can say when you don’t like something.
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Chester has his very own story book and wants me to share it with you.
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Once upon a time in a garden far far away, in a galaxy just across the milky way; there lived a cat named Chester. Chester was an ordinary cat as cats go.
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He liked chasing Wigglebees, although he never did catch one, cause they are very fast.
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He loved to skid across the linoleum fields after they had been freshly waxed.
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Chester was an ordinary cat; except he had the most unusual tail. It had colors no one had ever seen before and fur no one had ever felt before.
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“Oh, what a wonderful tail” said the Wigglebees. “It’s marvelous” squealed the Bafflewhaps. “Oh, what an unusual tail” exclaimed the foozles.
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“Oh, what a problem” thought Chester. “Can’t they just leave me alone?”
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People were always wanting to grab, poke, pounce on, or stroke Chester’s wondrous tail.
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The Bafflewhaps like to hide in the garden and jump on Chester’s tail.
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The Giggling Pippuls like to tickle and touch.
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The Foozles like to feel and fluff his tail. (Ask- Does Chester look happy?How can you tell?)
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All of this bothered Chester.
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They weren’t the nice touches he got when he was petted by a Pregul. (Point out Chester’s face now- and ask how the children think he is feeling now)
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They weren’t the nice touches he felt when he was being held be a Wambul.
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Chester knew there were some touches he liked and some touches he didn’t.
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One day Chester was reflecting on his reflection in the garden pond. He could see his beautiful tail waving behind him. He thought to himself, “This is my tail, this is my body; all of it belongs to me! I’m in charge. I can decide who touches my tail. I can decide who touches me!”
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When the Bafflewhaps tried to jump on his tail, Chester said in his serious voice, “My body belongs to me. I don’t like it when you jump on my tail Bafflewhap. I don’t want you to do that anymore.” Chester was very pleased with himself.
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He decided to talk to the Giggling Pippuls. Using his important voice, Chester said, “This is important; my tail belongs to me. My whole body belongs to me. I don’t like it when you tickle my tail. I don’t want you to do that anymore”. The Giggling Pippuls stopped giggling. They knew from the sound of Chester’s voice that he meant what he said.
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“This is my tail; this is my body. I don’t like being felt and fluffed by a foozle. I want you to stop.”
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Chester was very proud of himself for having spoken up. Now he didn’t have to worry about those uncomfortable touches from the Bafflewhaps, the Giggling Pippuls and the Foozles. Chester smiled, and thought to himself “Now I know my body belongs to me. I can decide who touches me”.
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And this is Chester’s message to you... You have an important voice too. Your body belongs to you and you can decide who touches you! You can say “NO” even to someone bigger than you.
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If Chester were a real cat,what type of touches would he like? How would we know he liked it? (Purr, staying, rubbing against you etc.)Can you tell me some touches that make you feel happy? (pat on the back, high five, hug, kiss or touch on the shoulder) How do these touches make you feel? (safe, happy, good, special, loved) That’s why we call these touches “Safe Touches”.
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But there are some people, not very many, who don’t know how to act around children. They may give you touches that are not safe. These touches can make you say “ouch!” An “ouch’ touch is a touch that hurts you on the outside or your body and can hurt on the inside too. Can you think of some ouch touches? (hitting, pinching, biting, kicking, hair pulling) How do these touches make you feel? (scared, sad, bad, hurt, confused, mad) Friends are for caring, never for hurting. If I were to give Chester an unsafe touch like pulling his ear or tail… what do you think he would do? (Hiss, scatch, run away)
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Some adults or older children can give another kind of touch that it not safe. This doesn’t leave you with bruises, scratches or a broken arm, but this touch can hurt your feelings. An “uh oh” touch is a touch we don’t expect and it’s on the very private parts of our body. (Click for bathing suit pics) At NOVA we say the private parts of our bodies are the parts we cover up when we wear a bathing suit. These parts of our bodies are off limits.
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There are only two good reasons why someone may need to help us with the private parts of our bodies. 1- to stay clean, 2- to stay healthy. Click. Ask “How many of you used to be a baby?” “when you were an itty bitty baby that couldn’t walk or talk, could you change your own diaper or give yourself a bath? No, you needed help from a grown up. If a baby doesn’t have their diaper changed they could get really sore and stinky!” “Now that you are getting older you need less and help with getting dressed and keeping clean. Sometimes even older kids and grown ups still need help with that. And that's ok, to have their trusted grown up helping them with that. “ Tell a story of someone in a cast that needed help with this and ask the kids, is that a safe reason? “Yes’” Ask the students “how many of you have been to a doctor for a check up? Sometimes when we go to the dr, the dr needs to check the private parts of our bodies to make sure we are staying healthy. And that's ok, because the dr is only checking to keep us healthy and we have our trusted adult with us.”
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Most people are good and would never hurt you. They treat you nicely and only give you touches that make you feel safe, warm and happy.
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What if someone touched a child on the private parts of their body for no good reason, how do you think they would feel? (sad, scared, confused, mad) Would you feel safe? No, you might have that uh oh feeling and not be sure what to do. That is why a touch on the private parts of the body is unsafe and called an “uh oh” touch.
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If someone touches a child on the private parts of their body for no good reason, whose fault is it? (The person who did it) It is never the child’s fault, even if the person touched them more that once, or if the child didn’t say “NO” or tell an adult. Its the job of grown ups to protect and take care of children, if the give an uh-oh touch they are the ones that are breaking the safety rules, not the child. It’s NEVER the child’s fault.
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If someone would ever try to touch a child on the private parts of their body for no good reason, or ask them to touch them on their private parts, there is something the child can do! Say “NO!” Practice this with a serious face and an important voice. Next is GO. Ask, where do you feel safe? Where would you go? The next step and most important step is to TELL. Who would you tell?
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Ask the kids who their trusted adults are, who could they talk to if they had a problem? A home? And at school? Sometimes it is hard for adults to understand when someone has touched a child on their private parts for no good reason. Ask “what could you do if you told someone and they didn’t believe you or didn’t understand? “Keep telling someone until someone helps you. You have the right to be believed. It’s never too late to talk to a trusted grown up about an unsafe touch, no matter how long ago it happened… days, weeks or even years!”
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Slide 35 2
Good discussion on who to get help from depending on where the abuse is happening Emily French, 8/31/2021
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WE SHOULD NEVER KEEP TOUCHING SECRETS. Sometimes when a grown up gives an unsafe touch they try to trick the child and say “don’t tell anyone this is our little secret” Even if the grown up says “shh...don’t tell anyone” You should tell one of your trusted grownups. We never keep touching secrets. Explain the difference between happy surprise and a secret.
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Practice NO, GO, TELL
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Chester’s Tale Page 1Once upon a time in a garden far far away, in a galaxy just across the milky way; there lived a cat named Chester. Chester was an ordinary cat as cats go. Page 2He liked chasing Wigglebees, although he never did catch one, cause they are very fast. Page 3He loved to skid across the linoleum fields after they had been freshly waxed. Page 4Chester was an ordinary cat; except he had the most unusual tail. It had colors no one had ever seen before and fur no one had ever felt before. Page 5“Oh, what a wonderful tail” said the Wigglebees. “It’s marvelous” squealed the Bafflewhaps. “Oh, what an unusual tail” exclaimed the foozles. Page 6“Oh, what a problem” thought Chester. “Can’t they just leave me alone?” Page 7People were always wanting to grab, poke, pounce on, or stroke Chester’s wonderous tail. Page 8The Giggling Pippuls like to tickle and touch. Page 9The Foozles like to feel and fluff his tail. Page 10All of this bothered Chester. Page 11They weren’t the nice touches he got when he was petted by a Pregul. Page 12They weren’t the nice touches he felt when he was being held be a Wambul. Page 13Chester knew there were some touches he liked and some touches he didn’t.
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Page 14One day Chester was reflecting on his reflection in the garden pond. He could see his beautiful tail waving behind him. He thought to himself, “This is my tail, this is my body; all of it belongs to me! I’m in charge. I can decide who touches my tail. I can decide who touches me!” Page 15When the Bafflewhaps tried to jump on his tail, Chester said in his serious voice, “My body belongs to me. I don’t like it when you jump on my tail Bafflewhap. I don’t want you to do that anymore.” Chester was very pleased with himself. Page 16He decided to talk to the Giggling Pippuls. Using his important voice, Chester said, “This is important; my tail belongs to me. My whole body belongs to me. I don’t like it when you tickle my tail. I don’t want you to do that anymore”. The Giggling Pippuls stopped giggling. They knew from the sound of Chester’s voice that he meant what he said. Page 17Chester knew there were some touches he liked and some touches he didn’t. Page 18“This is my tail; this is my body. I don’t like being felt and fluffed by a foozle. I want you to stop.” Page 19Chester was very proud of himself for having spoken up. Now he didn’t have to worry about those uncomfortable touches from the Bafflewhaps, the Giggling Pippuls and the Foozles. Page 20And this is Chester’s message to you. You have an important voice too. Your body belongs to you and you can decide who touches you! You can say “NO” even to someone bigger than you.
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289 Advocacy, Prevention & Support for Victims of Crime in Bucks County
24 Hour Victim Support Hotline 1-800-675-6900 www.novabucks.org
When to tell about Touches
Touches that are
you feel happy you feel respected you feel comfortable
Most people are good, but there are some people who may make you feel uncomfortable.
You have these feelings to help keep you safe.
tickling you too much giving hugs that are too tight giving you a touch that you do not want asking you to do something that is not safe
Remember, you have the right to say “NO” to anyone who touches you in a way that makes you feel confused, uncomfortable, or hurt.
A Member Agency United Way of Bucks County
a hit a punch a kick
someone touching the very private parts of your body for no good reason someone making you touch their very private parts someone asking you to take off your clothes for no good reason
Some people may try to talk, trick, or force kids into touching that is not safe. They may want them to keep it a secret. It is never safe to keep secrets about touching!
You don’t have to be polite or listen to these tricks: “This is our little secret.” “It’s OK for me to touch you.” “If you tell, I’ll go to jail and it will be your fault.”
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2370 York Road Suite B1 Jamison, PA 18929 (215) 343-6543 TTY (215) 343-6299 FAX: (215) 343-6260 www.novabucks.org 24-Hour Hotline 1-800-675-6900
Dear Parent or Caregiver, Today, your child’s school and the Network of Victim Assistance (NOVA) of Bucks County collaborated to present a Personal Safety Program to the students. This Personal Safety Program is an interactive, awareness education effort that works to reduce the risk of abuse for school-aged children, especially child sexual abuse. Together, the students and NOVA educators discussed the importance of safety rules, identified safe and unsafe touches, and developed strategies and resistance skills for finding help in unsafe situations. Each classroom viewed an age appropriate video and engaged in role-plays that reinforced the safety rules: NO ● GO ● TELL ● Be Believed. Please take a few moments to read this material. Ask your child about the NOVA program, and reinforce your family rules about personal safety. If you don't have family rules about this important issue, now would be a good time to establish them. If you have any questions, concerns, or would like guidance in how to talk with your child about personal safety, we would be happy to hear from you. Sincerely,
Susan Romano Prevention Education and Awareness Coordinator NOVA Prevention Education Programs: . Preschool—College . Parent Programs
In any situation that makes you feel uncomfortable or does not seem safe, you have the right to:
Talk with an adult you trust:
parent/caregiver other family member teacher school counselor
It is never your fault. Even if you didn’t say no, it is never too late to tell. NOVA supports, counsels, and empowers victims of sexual assault and other serious crimes, and works to eliminate violence in Bucks County through advocacy, community education, and prevention programs. 1-800-675-6900 24-Hour Hotline www.novabucks.org
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Today we are going to talk about some important safety rules. I bet you already know a lot of safety rules! Let’s play a little game… What should you do when you get in the car? (pause for answers) Put on your seat belt! What about when you get on your bike? (Pause for answers) Put on your helmet! Ok, lets try one more… what about when you are about to cross a busy street? (Pause for answers) Look both ways/hold a grown ups hand. So, why do you know so many safety rules? (Better safe than sorry, Just incase) Just because we learn a safety rule, doesn’t mean it’s going to happen to us. We learn lots of safety rules JUST INCASE. Today we are going to learn some just incase rules to keep our bodies safe.
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I have a really important question for you. Who does your body belong to? (pause for answers) You are in charge of your body and you can say when you don’t like something. (Tell a story)
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There are three kinds of touches we are going to talk about today. The first one is “Safe” touches. Most people are good and would never hurt you. They treat you nicely and only give you touches that make you feel safe, warm and happy. I want everyone to close their eyes… imagine you are curled up on the sofa with your mom or dad or perhaps a favorite grownup. You are watching a movie, under a nice cozy blanket, eating your favorite snack. Your Mom, dad or favorite grown up puts their arm around you an snuggles you. How do you feel? You feel safe, loved, your heart feels good and happy. Now open your eyes. That was an example of a safe touch. Safe touches make us feel safe. Can anyone think of some examples of safe touches? (high 5, fist bump, pat on the back) How do these touches make you feel? (safe, happy, good, special. loved.) That’s why we call them safe touches.
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But there are some people, not very many, who don’t know how to act around children. They may give you touches that are not safe. These touches can make you say “ouch!” An “ouch’ touch is a touch that hurts you on the outside or your body and can hurt on the inside too. Can you think of some ouch touches? (hitting, pinching, biting, kicking, hair pulling) How do these touches make you feel? (scared, sad, bad, hurt, confused, mad) Friends are for caring, never for hurting.
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Let’s take a look at this video about ouchtouches.
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Some adults or older children can give another kind of touch that is not safe. This touch doesn’t leave you with bruises, scratches or a broken arm, but this touch can hurt your feelings. This kind of touch has to do with the private part of your body. (Click for bathing suit pictures) At NOVA we say the private parts of your body are the parts you cover when you are wearing a bathing suit. Those private parts of your body are off limits. (Next slide talks about the two good reasons)
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There are only two good reasons why someone may need to help us with the private parts of our bodies. 1- to stay clean, 2- to stay healthy. Click. Ask “How many of you used to be a baby?” “when you were an itty bitty baby that couldn’t walk or talk, could you change your own diaper or give yourself a bath? No, you needed help from a grown up. If a baby doesn’t have their diaper changed they could get really sore and stinky!” “Now that you are getting older you need less and help with getting dressed and keeping clean. Sometimes even older kids and grown ups still need help with that. And that's ok, to have their trusted grown up helping them with that. “ Tell a story of someone in a cast that needed help with this and ask the kids, is that a safe reason? “Yes’” Ask the students “how many of you have been to a doctor for a check up? Sometimes when we go to the dr, the dr needs to check the private parts of our bodies to make sure we are staying healthy. And that's ok, because the dr is only checking to keep us healthy and we have our trusted adult with us.”
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What if someone touched a child on the private parts of their body for no good reason, how do you think they would feel? (sad, scared, confused, mad) Would you feel safe? No, you might have that uh oh feeling and not be sure what to do. That is why a touch on the private parts of the body is unsafe and called an “uh oh” touch.
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If someone touches a child on the private parts of their body for no good reason, whose fault is it? (The person who did it) It is never the child’s fault, even if the person touched them more that once, or if the child didn’t say “NO” or tell an adult. Its the job of grown ups to protect and take care of children, if the give an uh-oh touch they are the ones that are breaking the safety rules, not the child. It’s NEVER the child’s fault.
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Who would try to touch a child on his/her private parts for no good reason?(Ask students for responses) It could be a stranger. A stranger must ask an adult for help. No stranger should ever ask a child for help. They need to ask another adult. Not a child! It could be someone old, or young, a man or a woman. Some you know or don’t know or someone you do know and even love. Most people are good and would never touch a child on the private parts of their body for no good reason… but remember in the beginning we talked about our just incase safety rules? We are learning these safety rules just incase, so we would know what to do.
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If someone would ever try to touch a child on the private parts of their body for no good reason, or ask them to touch them on their private parts, there is something the child can do! Say “NO!” Practice this with a serious face and an important voice. Next is GO. Ask, where do you feel safe? Where would you go? The next step and most important step is to TELL. Who would you tell?
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Ask the students who their trusted adults are, who could they talk to if they had a problem? A home? And at school? Sometimes it is hard for adults to understand when someone has touched a child on their private parts for no good reason. Ask “what could you do if you told someone and they didn’t believe you or didn’t understand? “Keep telling someone until someone helps you. You have the right to be believed. It’s never too late to talk to a trusted grown up about an unsafe touch, no matter how long ago it happened… days, weeks or even years!”
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WE SHOULD NEVER KEEP TOUCHING SECRETS. Sometimes when a grown up gives an unsafe touch they try to trick the child and say “don’t tell anyone this is our little secret” Even if the grown up says “shh...don’t tell anyone” You should tell one of your trusted grownups. We never keep touching secrets. Explain the difference between happy surprise and a secret.
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Practice NO, GO, TELL
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Today we are going to talk about some important safety rules. I bet you already know a lot of safety rules! Let’s play a little game… What should you do when you get in the car? (pause for answers) Put on your seat belt! What about when you get on your bike? (Pause for answers) Put on your helmet! Ok, lets try one more… what about when you are about to cross a busy street? (Pause for answers) Look both ways/hold a grown ups hand. Now do we put on a seat belt because we think we think we are going to have an accident? Or do we put on our helmets when we ride our bike because we think…I am going to crash into a tree today? No, we do those things, just incase! Today we are going to learn some just incase rules to keep our bodies safe.
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I have a really important question for you. Who is in charge of your body? (pause for answers) You are in charge of your body and you can say when you don’t like something. And no one is allowed to touch you on the private parts of your body or in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable or afraid.
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Our bodies have zones. Some zones are public. Public zones mean they are okay for everyone to see. Our face, our hands, our arms, our legs, and our feet are all public. (in some cultures, a woman does not show her face, but in our culture we do.) Other zones are private. Our private zones are the parts we cover with our bathing suit . At NOVA we say our private zones are the parts of our bodies that are covered when we wear a bathing suit. These private zones are off limits and nobody should ever ask to touch them or see them. We call that an unsafe touch When might we need help with our private zones? (Ask students for responses)
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There are only two reasons why someone may need to help us with the private parts of our bodies. 1- to stay clean, 2- to stay healthy. Click. Ask “How many of you used to be a baby?” “when you were an itty bitty baby that couldn’t walk or talk, could you change your own diaper or give yourself a bath? No, you needed help from a grown up. If a baby doesn’t have their diaper changed they could get really sore and stinky!” “Now that you are getting older you need less and help with getting dressed and keeping clean. Sometimes even older kids and grown ups still need help with that. And that's ok, to have their trusted grown up helping them with that. “ Tell a story of someone in a cast that needed help with this and ask the kids, is that a safe reason? “Yes’” Ask the students “how many of you have been to a doctor for a check up? Sometimes when we go to the dr, the dr needs to check the private parts of our bodies to make sure we are staying healthy. And that's ok, because the dr is only checking to keep us healthy and we have our trusted adult with us.”
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I have a very important question. If a grown up or an older boy or girl breaks the safety rule and touches a child on the private parts of their body for no good reason, whose fault would it be? (Wait for responses.) I hope you remember this the rest of your lives and that you teach this to your children and grand children. If a grown up or older boy or girl touches a child on the private parts of his/her body… It is NEVER the child’s fault. (have the children repeat “it’s never the child’s fault” along with you.)
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Who would try to touch a child on his/her private parts for no good reason?(Ask students for responses) It could be a stranger. A stranger must ask an adult for help. No stranger should ever ask a child for help. They need to ask another adult. Not a child! It could be someone old, or young, a man or a woman. Some you know or don’t know or someone you do know and even love. Most people are good and would never touch a child on the private parts of their body for no good reason… but remember in the beginning we talked about our just incase safety rules? We are learning these safety rules just incase, so we would know what to do.
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Practice Say “NO!” Practice this with a serious face and an important voice. Next is GO. Ask, where do you feel safe? Where would you go? The next step and most important step is to TELL. Who would you tell?
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Ask the kids who their trusted adults are, who could they talk to if they had a problem? A home? And at school? Sometimes it is hard for adults to understand when someone has touched a child on their private parts for no good reason. Ask “what could you do if you told someone and they didn’t believe you or didn’t understand? “Keep telling someone until someone helps you. You have the right to be believed. It’s never too late to talk to a trusted grown up about an unsafe touch, no matter how long ago it happened… days, weeks or even years!”
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WE SHOULD NEVER KEEP TOUCHING SECRETS. Sometimes when a grown up gives an unsafe touch they try to trick the child and say “don’t tell anyone this is our little secret” Why do you think the grown up would say that? Pause for answers… That’s right they don't want to get in trouble. Explain the difference between happy surprise and a secret.
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Wilson was out riding his bike one day and he started down a steep hill in his neighborhood. He was going so fast and had trouble stopping and just fell right off. He scraped up his knees pretty bad. His mother came out to check on him and saw that he was upset. She knew he was hurt and wanted to make him feel better so she asked if she could give him a hug. Sure enough, a hug from Mom was all that Wilson needed (and couple of bandaids). Was it good that Mom “asked” to give Wilson a hug? Why or why not? Was the hug a safe touch or an unsafe touch? How do you know? How did Wilson feel after the hug?
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Marcie and her mom went to the doctor for Marcie’s annual checkup. Marcie was really uncomfortable and nervous about going because she couldn’t remember what happens (but she did remember that last time she got a shot that hurt).Marcie’s mom could tell that Marcie was a little scared, so she asked the doctor to explain what is going to happen during the visit. The doctor told her that Marcie would have to get undressed so he could check her over to make sure she was growing healthy and strong. He said that Marcie’s mom could stay with her the entire time. There would even be a nurse in the room to help with the exam. Marcie felt a bit more comfortable knowing that her Mom was with her, so she got ready for the checkup. Of course, the doctor checked out her eyes, ears, nose, throat, chest (deep breaths in and out). He then looked over her private parts of the body to make sure all was healthy. After the brief check, he gave Marcie a clean bill of health. He handed her her favorite color lollipop and said he’d see her again next year. Marcie was really proud of herself for being brave and she actually didn’t mind the checkup because she knew that he was just making sure she was healthy. Did the doctor have to look and touch the private part of Marcie’s body? Was this a safe touch or unsafe touch? Why? Who was with Marcie the whole time?
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Richard is a neighbor and occasional babysitter to Wilson and Tara. Wilson loves it when Richard comes to babysit because he plays minecraft with him and lets him do stuff that his parents won’t let him do (like stay up past bedtime watching movies). The last time Richard came to watch Wilson, Richard suggested a new game of “show and tell”. Wilson remembered this from school and thought is sounded fun. He went to his room to get something to show Richard and was excited thinking about what Richard might show him (maybe a new video game…). Sure enough, Richard had the latest NBA 2K20. Wilson was super ready to start playing and forgot that he was supposed to “show” something. Richard told him that it was his turn and asked Wilson to show him something that was on his body. Wilson suddenly felt weird because he knew Richard was asking to see a part of his body that is off limits and private!. He was confused and not sure about what to do. He really wanted to play the new game and he likes and trust Richard. Richard told him it would be their secret, just like staying up at night, past his bedtime… Is it OK for an adult (or anyone) to ask to see the private part of the body when the purpose is NOT to make sure you’re clean and NOT to keep you healthy?
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Two weeks ago, Theadora had to stay at her uncle’s for sleepover because her parents had to go away for a night. She was soooo excited to hang out with her uncle. He was her favorite. They would put on plays and have dance parties. Her uncle told her they were going to bake some cookies and eats “tons” of candy. He told her to keep it a secret from her parents because they wouldn’t be happy with the sweet stuff…Theadora LOVES the sweet stuff, so she said nothing to her parents. When she got to her uncle’s house, he had put out this outfit that was very strange and something she felt really uncomfortable in. It showed parts of her body that were private. She didn’t understand because he said he just wanted to take some pictures of her looking like a “princess”. She felt this was very strange, but she trusted him and did what he asked. She wanted to make him happy. After a few days, Theadora’s mom noticed that Theadora was acting very strange. She was really quiet and complained of a tummy ache. She stopped eating and wasn’t her happy-go-lucky self. Her mom suggested taking Theadora to the doctor. Before the dr. appointment, Theadora admitted to her mom that she was feeling bad, but not because she was sick. She told her mom what her uncle asked her to do and said she’s been feeling so bad ever since because she knew her parents would be really mad at her (that’s what her uncle had told her). She didn’t want to get into trouble. Her mom asked if she could hug her and Theadora cried and said yes.Mom thanked Theadora for telling about the events that took place and reassured Theadora that it was NOT HER FAULT.
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Did the uncle ask Theadora to do something that wasn’t safe? Is it ever too late to tell a trusted grownup about an unsafe touch or request?
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Practice Say “NO!” Practice this with a serious face and an important voice. Next is GO. Ask, where do you feel safe? Where would you go? The next step and most important step is to TELL. Who would you tell?
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Scenario 1: Arthur hurts his knee Arthur was riding his new bike a little too fast, his front tire hit a rock, he lost control and fell off of his bike. Luckily, he was wearing his helmet, but he fell on his knee. His mom, Eleanor heard his cries and quickly ran to check on him. Between his sobs, she finds out that he has scraped up his knee. Eleanor tries to comfort Arthur and asks if he would like a hug. Arthur nods and says yes. As they hug Arthur stops crying and notices that he is feeling better now. Questions: How was Arthur feeling before his Mom gave him a hug? Was the hug a safe touch or unsafe? How do you know? What part of the body was it on? How did he feel after the hug? Do you think it was a good idea that Arthur’s mom “asked” before she gave him a hug? Why or why not? Scenario 2: The Doctor’s Office Jane and her Mom, Elenore are at the Dr for Jane’s yearly checkup. She’s feeling nervous about it and doesn’t really remember what she needs to do at her appointment. Her mom could tell that she was feeling anxious, so she asked the doctor to explain what is going to happen during the visit. The doctor told her that Jane would have to get undressed so he could check her over to make sure she was growing healthy and strong. Elenore explained to Jane that it will be okay because the dr will only be checking her private parts to make sure Jane is healthy and strong and that she was going to be there the whole entire time. Of course, the doctor checked out her eyes, ears, nose, throat, chest (deep breaths in and out). He then looked over her private parts of the body to make sure all was healthy. After the brief check, he gave Jane a clean bill of health. He handed her her favorite color lollipop and said he’d see her again next year. Jane was proud of herself and happy that she got good news.
Questions: How did Jane feel before the exam? How did Jane feel after the exam? Was this a safe or unsafe touch? Why? Who was with Jane the whole time?
Scenario 3: Uncle Richard comes over Uncle Richard came over to hang out with his favorite nephew Arthur. Arthur loved rough housing and wrestling with his uncle. While they were playing, his uncle touched him between the legs and said “isn’t this nice?”
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Arthur wasn’t sure what to do or say, but he knew he didn’t like this touch and it made him very uncomfortable. Questions: How did this touch make Arthur feel? Where was it on his body? Was this a safe touch or an unsafe touch? How do you know?
Scenario 4: The Babysitter Jane’s neighbor Richard was coming over to babysit her while her parents went out for the evening. Jane was watching TV in the other room and he called her over to the sofa. He reminded Jane of all the fun they have had in the past playing the tickle game. That they should play it again. She laughed and giggled until neighbor Richard put his hand under her top and touched chest. She just froze not knowing what to do. Questions: How did this touch make Jane feel? Where was it on her body? Was this a safe touch or an unsafe touch? How do you know? What should Jane do? Jane should try to say “no”, “go” walk away and “tell” her parents when they get home.
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I have a really important question for you. Who is in charge of your body? (pause for answers) You are in charge of your body and you can say when you don’t like something. And no one is allowed to touch you on the private parts of your body or in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable or afraid. Today we are going to talk about safety rules for keeping our bodies safe.
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What does the word “Safe” mean to you?
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I bet you you already know a lot of safety rules. Let’s talk about some of the safety rules that you may already know. Fire, Seatbelts, crossing the street etc. Have you ever had a fire in your school? Why do you have fire drills? Its better to be safe than sorry. Just because we learn a safety rule does not mean its going to happen to you. We learn a safety rule just incase. That’s why today, we are going to talk about safety rules about our bodies.
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Again,who do our bodies belong to? Our bodies have zones. Some zones are public and some are private. “Public zones” mean they are okay for everyone to see. Our face, our hands, our arms, our legs, and our feet are all public. (in some cultures, a woman does not show her face, but in our culture we do.) Other zones are private. Our “private zones” are the parts we cover with our bathing suit . At NOVA we say our private zones are the parts of our bodies that are covered when we wear a bathing suit. These private zones are off limits and nobody should ever ask to touch them or see them. We call that an unsafe touch . When might we need help with our private zones? (Ask students for responses)
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There are only two reasons why someone may need to help us with the private parts of our bodies. 1- to stay clean, 2- to stay healthy. Click. Ask “How many of you used to be a baby?” “when you were an itty bitty baby that couldn’t walk or talk, could you change your own diaper or give yourself a bath? No, you needed help from a grown up. If a baby doesn’t have their diaper changed they could get really sore and stinky!” “Now that you are getting older you need less and help with getting dressed and keeping clean. Sometimes even older kids and grown ups still need help with that. And that's ok, to have their trusted grown up helping them with that. “ Tell a story of someone in a cast that needed help with this and ask the kids, is that a safe reason? “Yes’” Ask the students “how many of you have been to a doctor for a check up? Sometimes when we go to the dr, the dr needs to check the private parts of our bodies to make sure we are staying healthy. And that's ok, because the dr is only checking to keep us healthy and we have our trusted adult with us.”
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I have a very important question. If a grown up or an older boy or girl breaks the safety rule and touches a child on the private parts of their body for no good reason, whose fault would it be? (Wait for responses.) I hope you remember this the rest of your lives and that you teach this to your children and grand children. If a grown up or older boy or girl touches a child on the private parts of his/her body… It is NEVER the child’s fault. (have the children repeat “it’s never the child’s fault” along with you.)
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Who would try to touch a child on his/her private parts for no good reason?(Ask students for responses) It could be a stranger. A stranger must ask an adult for help. No stranger should ever ask a child for help. They need to ask another adult. Not a child! It could be someone old, or young, a man or a woman. Some you know or don’t know or someone you do know and even love. Most people are good and would never touch a child on the private parts of their body for no good reason… but remember in the beginning we talked about our just incase safety rules? We are learning these safety rules just incase, so we would know what to do.
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If someone would ever try to touch a child on the private parts of their body for no good reason, or ask them to touch them on their private parts, there is something the child can do! Say “NO!” Practice this with a serious face and an important voice. Next is GO. Ask, where do you feel safe? Where would you go? The next step and most important step is to TELL. Who would you tell?
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Ask the kids who their trusted adults are, who could they talk to if they had a problem? A home? And at school? Sometimes it is hard for adults to understand when someone has touched a child on their private parts for no good reason. Ask “what could you do if you told someone and they didn’t believe you or didn’t understand? “Keep telling someone until someone helps you. You have the right to be believed. It’s never too late to talk to a trusted grown up about an unsafe touch, no matter how long ago it happened… days, weeks or even years!”
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WE SHOULD NEVER KEEP TOUCHING SECRETS. Sometimes when a grown up gives an unsafe touch they try to trick the child and say “don’t tell anyone this is our little secret” Why do you think the grown up would say that? Pause for answers… That’s right they don't want to get in trouble. Explain the difference between happy surprise and a secret.
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Scenario #1: In the Neighborhood Two friends are finishing up their play date. They are playing outside while waiting for one of the children’s mothers to come pick up. She is in a very big hurry so she asked them to wait outside for her. While they are playing a neighbor pulls up in her car. Mrs. Smith: (Full of smiles) Hi kids! You guys look like you are having so much fun playing outside. You look so happy! You know me… I’m Mrs. Smith your neighbor. I just live down the street. Could you do me a really big favor? I have these heavy groceries in my car and I really hurt my knee. You could really help me by helping me bring them into my house. My knee hurts so badly. You both look so strong and it will really only take a couple of minutes. I just live down the street. You don’t even have to ask your parents because it will be so quick; you’ll hardly be gone. And when you’re done I have some cookies I just bought. You can each have some. Shhh come on just hop in. Now the children are scared and confused so they run inside to tell the child’s mother what just happened. Using the analogy of fishing: Mrs. Smith is trying very hard to lure those children into the car. She is using tricks to get them to go with her to her house. Just like we put a worm (bait) at the end of our hook on our fishing rod to lure the fish. That fish sees the yummy worm and … gobbles it right up! Then the fisherman pulls that fish right in. That is exactly what Mrs. Smith is trying to do!
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What are the tricks: Compliments (Happy and Strong), Injured knee, Short time, Cookies, Secret The children really don’t know if Mrs. Smith is trying to trick them for some reason but it is better for them to be safe than sorry. Better to run inside JUST IN CASE
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Slide 15 1
If there is time, ask the kids what would be better for Mrs. Smith to do if she needed help with her groceries? This gets them to think about whether it makes sense for an adult to ask a kid for this kind of help. Emily French, 8/31/2021
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Scenario #2 The Playground Several friends decided to go to the neighborhood playground. As they were playing on the slide they saw a familiar looking man approach. They recognize him as they visit that playground often and he always walks his dog in the park. Today he shows up without his dog and is only holding a leash. He approaches the children. Man: Hey kids! You guys look like you are having so much fun. You look so incredibly happy sliding down that slide and man are you guys going fast! Hey can you do me a favor. You must have seen me here a thousand times before with my dog, Stella. Well she has gone missing. I’m so so sad! I think she may be in the woods here behind this playground. You guys know this park and woods so well so I was hoping you can come and help me. It will only take a minute or two and you don’t even need to check with your parents first because I know she must be so close by. When we’re done I’ll even treat you all to an ice cream. Right down the street there is a Mister Softie. So shhhh come on let’s go before she gets too far away.
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Tricks the man uses to try to lure the children to help him look for his dog: COMPLIMENTS (Happy and Fast), Playing upon EMOTIONS as sad, Brings up FAMILIARITY as they have seen him before, FAMILIARITY with park and woods, SECRET Shh don’t need to tell anyone, REWARD: Ice Cream
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Scenario #3 The Grocery Store A little girl accompanies her mother to the grocery store. Her mom asks her to help out by going around the store herself to gather some products. This will speed this visit along and they’ll be able to get out of the store a lot faster. As she heads into the cereal aisle, a small older lady approaches her and asks her to help her in the candy aisle. So she follows her down towards the end of that aisle. Woman: Thank you so much for coming with me. You are such a sweet sweet child to help me. I see that you are so tall and look at those nice long arms too. Can you please help me reach that bag of candy on the top shelf. It is my sick daughter’s favorite. She is actually waiting for me in the car right now. She’s just outside those doors right there. (She points to the closest doors to them) She couldn’t come in because she is a little dizzy but I told her I would be right out. But you know what? I can’t just leave the store right now without paying for all of these groceries. Can you please take this one piece of candy to her now (the woman opens a small hole in the bag and retrieves one piece of candy and hands it to the child). It will only take a second. She is right outside these doors. You don’t even need to ask your mother because you’ll be back before you know it. Then when you return I will give a handful of this delicious candy. Shhh Please hurry! Go!
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Woman’s Tricks: COMPLIMENTS (Sweet, tall, nice long arms) EMOTIONS sick daughter, REWARD Candy, SECRET shh, will take only a second
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Scenario #4 The Email After school a young boy logged on his computer, he was super excited to see that his coach had sent an email, just to him. The coach said what a talented player he was and with some extra practice he could go pro someday and that he was proud to be his coach. The coach offered to meet at the local park for a special one on one practice; and that he wanted to give him his lucky baseball. The coach told him not to tell anyone else, as they might get jealous and that he should delete the email because his parents may think he’s spending too many hours playing sports.
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Coach’s Tricks: COMPLIMENTS (talented, Go Pro) EMOTIONS proud, REWARD Lucky baseball, special one on one practice SECRET shh, delete the email, others may get jealous
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Practice Say “NO!” Practice this with a serious face and an important voice. Next is GO. Ask, where do you feel safe? Where would you go? The next step and most important step is to TELL. Who would you tell?
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Scenario #1: In the Neighborhood
Two friends are finishing up their play date. They are playing outside while waiting for one of the children’s mothers to come pick up. She is in a very big hurry so she asked them to wait outside for her. While they are playing a neighbor pulls up in her car. Mrs. Smith: (Full of smiles) Hi kids! You guys look like you are having so much fun playing outside. You look so happy! You know me… I’m Mrs. Smith, your neighbor. I just live down the street. Could you do me a really big favor? I have these heavy groceries in my car and I really hurt my knee. You could really help me by helping me bring them into my house. My knee hurts so badly. You both look so strong and it will really only take a couple of minutes. I just live down the street. You don’t even have to ask your parents because it will be so quick; you’ll hardly be gone. And when you’re done I have some cookies I just bought. You can each have some. Shhh come on just hop in. Now the children are scared and confused so they run inside to tell the child’s mother what just happened. Using the analogy of fishing: Mrs. Smith is trying very hard to lure those children into the car. She is using tricks to get them to go with her to her house. Just like we put a worm (bait) at the end of our hook on our fishing rod to lure the fish. That fish sees the yummy worm and … gobbles it right up! Then the fisherman pulls that fish right in. That is exactly what Mrs. Smith is trying to do! What are the tricks: Compliments (Happy and Strong), Injured knee, Short time, Cookies, Secret The children really don’t know if Mrs. Smith is trying to trick them for some reason but it is better for them to be safe than sorry. Better to run inside JUST IN CASE!
Scenario #2 The Playground
Several friends decided to go to the neighborhood playground. As they were playing on the slide they saw a familiar looking man approach. They recognize him as they visit that playground often and he always walks his dog in the park. Today he shows up without his dog and is only holding a leash. He approaches the children. Man: Hey kids! You guys look like you are having so much fun. You look so incredibly happy sliding down that slide and man are you guys going fast! Hey can you do me a favor. You must have seen me here a thousand times before with my dog, Stella. Well she has gone missing. I’m so so sad! I think she may be in the woods here behind this playground. You guys know this park and woods so well so I was hoping you can come and help me. It will only take a minute or two and you don’t even need to check with your parents first because I know she must be so close by. When we’re done I’ll even treat you all to an ice cream. Right down down the street, there is a Mister Softee. So shhhh come on let’s go before she gets too far away. Tricks the man uses to try to lure the children to help him look for his dog: COMPLIMENTS (Happy and Fast), Playing upon EMOTIONS as sad, Brings up
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FAMILIARITY as they have seen him before, FAMILIARITY with park and woods, SECRET Shh don’t need to tell anyone, REWARD: Ice Cream
Scenario #3 The Grocery Store
A little girl accompanies her mother to the grocery store. Her mom asks her to help out by going around the store herself to gather some products. This will speed this visit along and they’ll be able to get out of the store a lot faster. As she heads into the cereal aisle, a small older lady approaches her and asks her to help her in the candy aisle. So she follows her down towards the end of that aisle. Woman: Thank you so much for coming with me. You are such a sweet sweet child to help me. I see that you are so tall and look at those nice long arms too. Can you please help me reach that bag of candy on the top shelf. It is my sick daughter’s favorite. She is actually waiting for me in the car right now. She’s just outside those doors right there. (She points to the closest doors to them) She couldn’t come in because she is a little dizzy but I told her I would be right out. But you know what? I can’t just leave the store right now without paying for all of these groceries. Can you please take this one piece of candy to her now (the woman opens a small hole in the bag and retrieves one piece of candy and hands it to the child). It will only take a second. She is right outside these doors. You don’t even need to ask your mother because you’ll be back before you know it. Then when you return I will give a handful of this delicious candy. Shhh Please hurry! Go! Woman’s Tricks: COMPLIMENTS (Sweet, tall, nice long arms) EMOTIONS sick daughter, REWARD Candy, SECRET shh, will take only a second
Scenario #4 The Email
After school a young boy logged on his computer, he was super excited to see that his coach had sent an email, just to him. The coach said what a talented player he was and with some extra practice he could go pro someday and that he was proud to be his coach. The coach offered to meet at the local park for a special one on one practice; and that he wanted to give him his lucky baseball. The coach told him not to tell anyone else, as they might get jealous and that he should delete the email because his parents may think he’s spending too many hours playing sports. Coach’s Tricks: COMPLIMENTS (talented, go pro) EMOTIONS proud, REWARD Lucky baseball, special one on one practice SECRET shh, delete the email, others may get jealous
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Today we are here to discuss an important topic which may be familiar to some of you to a degree already: Cyberbullying.
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We also want you to know that what you say to us remains confidential and will be kept to ourselves unless you disclose to us three different things: The first is if you give us reason to believe that you or someone you know are being hurt of have been hurt in the past. In this case, it is our job to get others involved so that we can stop the hurt and get you the help that you need. The second is if you give us reason to believe you are a danger to yourself or others, and lastly, if there is reason to believe that someone else that you know is a danger to themselves or others. All of this relates to our job of keeping kids, teenagers, and young adults SAFE.
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There are multiple ways in which one person can bully another. Can we name some of them? (Discuss and then click) Physical bullying – includes hitting, punching, kicking, hair pulling, and so on. Verbal bullying – using your words to hurt or to harm another person ‐> could be direct verbal bullying, or through gossip and rumor spreading to do harm to one’s reputation Emotional bullying is also called social bullying; could be leaving someone out, which is called social ostracism; can also include bullying that hurts someone by attacking their social standing and relationships. And lastly we have cyberbullying….which is what we’re here to discuss today.
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Cyberbullying is using tech to inflict willful and repeated harm on another person. It is also using technology for the posting or sharing of inappropriate, rude, or hurtful things about a person, or using tech to otherwise harass that person. (play video)
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Examples of cyberbullying include: the posting or sharing of malicious messages/photographs, gossip/embarrassing information, and the creation of negative or hate websites. The use of racial, cultural, or religious slurs are also a form of cyberbullying. And lastly, the creation of fake profiles to harass, demean, or harm someone or their reputation.
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Now let me ask you a question: What is the difference between “joking” and “bullying?” (allow audience to discuss this) So I think we can all now agree, hopefully, that if we think before we speak, as society teaches us to do from a young age, we ought to also think before we post about the impact that our words will have on another and whether they will find what we may find funny to be funny too. Let’s hear what some young people about your age have to say about cyberbullying… (play video and ask for thoughts and reactions)
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So why does cyberbullying still happen if we agree that words matter and what you say online is just as important as what you say in real life? Why do we think that is? Why do people cyberbully? (allow audience to answer and then show video)
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Now we want to take the time to make an important distinction. People cyberbully, yes; but bullying is a behavior not an identity. (Discuss if time allows) Ultimately bullying is a behavior that is about power and control, but because it is a behavior, it can be unlearned. A person does not have to be a bully forever.
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But that doesn’t make the consequences any less painful when you are cyberbullied. In fact, it’s different from the other types of bullying that we talked about earlier in several key ways: ‐ invasive; follows you home ‐ wide distribution; may be public ‐ could be anonymous ‐ disinhibition – people are more likely to say negative things online than to someone’s face ‐ statistically linked to higher depression rates
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The consequences of cyberbullying all hurt. Think about how you would feel as we watch the following video: (play video and discuss, then click and discuss the overlap of responses)
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The consequences of bullying have what we call a ripple effect, meaning that they build upon one another. It can start at first with isolation and lead to depression / a low self‐image or self‐esteem. This can have the effect of lowering one’s academic performance or lead to poor school attendance ‐> all of this can help to foster a bullying culture in a school, a grade, a sports team, or whatever setting the bullying is occurring in. Sadly, cyberbullying has sometimes been associated with suicide, which is the 3rd highest cause of death among 12 – 18 year olds. (play video if time allows).
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All of this is why we now want to talk about what to do if you are cyberbullied. There are three, easy to remember steps: STOP – BLOCK – TELL
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Let’s talk about Stop – Block – Tell a little more Stop: Do not respond of engage with the bully; also, do not delete the cyberbullying messages as you would need that later on to show a trusted adult and for making a report. Block: Block the bully if you are able, and then report the incident(s) to a trusted person who is in a position to help you. This could be the adults in your life, like your parents or guardians, who may get the police involved depending on the severity of the cyberbullying. You can also report to the internet provider or the social media website where the bullying occurred. And lastly, we cannot stress enough, it is so important to get support from friends, trusted adults, counselors, teachers, coaches, and even NOVA.
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Now, another really important thing we want to highlight is that we are NOT all bullies! In fact, they are outnumbered and we can continue to outnumber them. You have the power to help put an end to cyberbullying by respecting yourself and others through being what we call an UPSTANDER. (Discuss term). Point out image, if time allows, as an example of the power of upstanders.
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Discussion slide. Key points and helpful hints: ‐ if you know about the cyberbullying, tell a trusted adult and do not share or otherwise spread any negative messages. ‐ If you know someone who is cyberbullying, talk with a trusted friend or better‐yet adult about the situation. If comfortable, you might let the bully know through assertive language that you do not find their behavior acceptable. ‐ If you receive a cyberbullying message about a victim, do not spread it but save it to show a trusted adult. Report the incident. Send out a positive message.
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Talk about resources
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NOVA supports and empowers crime victims in Bucks County Support 24‐hours on the hotline Website for further support
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Monday – Friday: 9:00 AM to 7:00 PM Saturday: 9:00 AM to 12:00 PM
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1) Stop, block, tell 2) Talk to a trusted adult about the situation and report the website to the internet provider 3) Report it to a trusted adult and the internet provider
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CALL 911! His safety is directly under threat!
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Discuss Recommend reporting the site to a trusted adult and the internet provider
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1) Stop, block, tell; do NOT delete 2) Stop block tell 3) Trusted adult, parent, guardian, guidance counselor, teacher, principal, etc.
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IMMEDIATELY tell a trusted adult and or have them help you contact the police because this is a self‐harming statement.
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1) stop, block, tell 2) The social media platform on which the fake profile is located
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Most middle schoolers do NOT exclude someone from a group to make them feel bad
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And finally, most 6th, 7th, and 8th graders do NOT spread unkind rumors or stories about other students.
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Let’s start off by talking about some facts about bullying. Did you know? Most 6th, 7th, and 8th graders say students should NOT ‐tease in a mean way ‐call others hurtful names ‐spread unkind stories about other students
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So we see that bullies are outnumbered…. But it still happens, with very negative consequences. Let’s take a look at some of these statistics. This year, over 13 million American kids were bullied at school, online, on the school bus, at home, through their cellphones, and on the streets of their town…which makes it the most common form of violence that young people face in this country. ‐3 million students will be absent each month because they feel unsafe at school. And, shockingly, 1 in 4 teachers see nothing wrong with bullying.
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Let’s switch gears now and talk about the ways in which someone can be bullied or harassed. Can we name some? (allow audience to answer) Today we’re going to look at the four main types of bullying and harassment: 1‐ physical 2‐ verbal 3‐ emotional And 4‐ cyberbullying
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Emotional bullying, also known as social bullying, is bullying that hurts somebody by attacking their social standing and relationships. Go through examples
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Ask students how they would feel if they were being bullied, then pull up text and compare and contrast answers.
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Pennsylvania Legal Definition: § 2709. Harassment and stalking. (a) Harassment.— A person commits the crime of harassment when, with intent to harass, annoy or alarm another, the person: 1. strikes, shoves, kicks or otherwise subjects the other person to physical contact, or attempts or threatens to do the same; or 2. follows the other person in or about a public place or places; or 3. engages in a course of conduct or repeatedly commits acts which serve no legitimate purpose.
Cases that involve the harassment of students who are members of protected classes must be tried in federal court. If a case has merit, the chances of a successful outcome are often quite good.
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But what we are saying is that you can be a part of the solution by being an Upstander – standing up for the victim if you are able to or showing empathy to the victim after a bullying incident (show video)
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Slide #2 Talking what it means to do what is right. • In our families • Our classmates • With friends • Our community Why is it important to do this? (Wait for responses). How might this impact • You? • Others ? Ask students how they might feel when they are participating in a positive action.
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Slide #2 Talking what it means to do what is right. • In our families • Our classmates • With friends • Our community Why is it important to do this? (Wait for responses). How might this impact • You? • Others ? Ask students how they might feel when they are participating in a positive action.
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Most middle schoolers do NOT exclude someone from a group to make them feel bad
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And finally, most 6th, 7th, and 8th graders do NOT spread unkind rumors or stories about other students.
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Let’s start off by talking about some facts about bullying. Did you know? Most 6th, 7th, and 8th graders say students should NOT ‐tease in a mean way ‐call others hurtful names ‐spread unkind stories about other students
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So we just talked about name‐calling. Now let me pose a tricky question: What is the difference between joking and bullying? (allow discussion and then play video) The truth is, joking brings with it a shared sense of humor; bullying, even if intended as a joke sometimes, inflicts hurt on someone and is never okay. Which is why we want to remind you to consider how your words matter….
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So we see that bullies are outnumbered…. But it still happens, with very negative consequences. Let’s take a look at some of these statistics. This year, over 13 million American kids were bullied at school, online, on the school bus, at home, through their cellphones, and on the streets of their town…which makes it the most common form of violence that young people face in this country. ‐3 million students will be absent each month because they feel unsafe at school. And, shockingly, 1 in 4 teachers see nothing wrong with bullying.
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Let’s switch gears now and talk about the ways in which someone can be bullied or harassed. Can we name some? (allow audience to answer) Today we’re going to look at the four main types of bullying and harassment: 1‐ physical 2‐ verbal 3‐ emotional And 4‐ cyberbullying
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The reality is that there is nothing okay with bullying. It goes beyond disrespectful to downright harmful. Let’s look at some instances of real‐life bullying (play video; ask for thoughts and reactions)
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Emotional bullying, also known as social bullying, is bullying that hurts somebody by attacking their social standing and relationships. Go through examples
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Ask students how they would feel if they were being bullied, then pull up text and compare and contrast answers.
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But what we are saying is that you can be a part of the solution by being an Upstander – standing up for the victim if you are able to or showing empathy to the victim after a bullying incident (show video)
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Because words can really hurt. (play video)
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Slide #17 Talk about resources
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Slide #18 NOVA supports and empowers crime victims in Bucks County Support 24‐hours on the hotline Website for further support
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Slide #19 Monday – Friday: 9:00 AM to 7:00 PM Saturday: 9:00 AM to 12:00 PM
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Today I am here to talk to you about relationships ~ How to build them, maintain them, and, most importantly, to ensure that they are healthy.
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Aside from physical needs like food and water, humans have social needs. In fact, relationships are necessary for a healthy life because they provide us with a sense of love, acceptance, and belonging. Have any of you ever heard of the psychologist Abraham Maslow? [show of hands] CLICK – He is the psychologist who came up with a theory, depicted in this pyramid, about human needs. First are basic needs like food, water, safety, & security. Then come the psychological needs, which is where relationships start to come into play. Belongingness and love and the acceptance that those two things bring answer our psychological needs and they enable our esteem needs like a feeling of personal accomplishment or happiness with one’s self. They also impact the highest bar on the pyramid, which is a person’s self‐ actualization or fulfillment needs. So when we look at this pyramid, we see that a lot of self importance and self acceptance needs, which are crucial to one’s overall happiness, rest on this psychological need to have meaningful, healthy relationships.
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Now, let’s talk about some of the relationships that you have in your life. Go ahead and name some of the people that you have relationships with – [ask audience] CLICK and they pop up as one. All of these relationships can be important in different ways, but all of them should be healthy in order for you to be your best self, which is what we’re going to talk about next.
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When we talk about relationships, we’re really talking about a spectrum. What do you think we mean by that? [ask audience] We’re going to watch a video now that talks about the relationship spectrum, and please keep in mind that while it largely talks about romantic relationships, a lot of this applies to all relationships because every relationship in your life exists on a spectrum. And, we are going to talk back and forth a bit about romantic and other types of relationships throughout this presentation. PLAY VIDEO
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So after watching that video, please turn to the person next to you or nearest you and discuss some of the ways that you would like to be treated in a relationship – and then do that same thing, but with specific regard to romantic relationships. [SHARE after they’re done talking] Now, keeping all of that in mind, we are going to move onto the types of relationships that we talked about in relation to the spectrum video.
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Let’s start first of all with healthy relationships. How would you define a healthy relationship? [Ask for some answers, or just say “probably pretty similar to what our expectations that we discussed are] PULL UP DEFINITION AND READ Discuss overlap between expectation answers/student answers and the definition as listed.
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There are four key aspects to any healthy relationship These are: Boundaries Communication Equality And Self‐Esteem
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Boundaries – what is a boundary in a relationship? Boundaries are defined as the division or space between 2 people that honor one another’s needs and desires. [CLICK] In a healthy relationship, you have or you receive: Personal space, emotional space, behavioral boundaries (Example: Like PDA) and mutual respect for differing values and beliefs.
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Let’s boil all that down and look now at some examples of healthy boundaries, both in romantic relationships and just in general. (CLICK) One example of a healthy boundary would be going out without your best friend or partner there. We’re not saying that your best friend or partner isn’t a great person to be around, but having that emotional and personal space to be friends with others and to do activities with those other friends is a very important example of a healthy boundary. (CLICK) Next, is another personal space as well as behavioral boundary: participate in activities and hobbies that you like even if they’re different than your friends’ or partner’s likes. Just because your friends or partner isn’t into horseback riding, doesn’t mean you can’t be into horseback riding. (Sub in any activity there and the point remains the same.) (CLICK) Here’s a great example of a behavioral boundary: Not having to share passwords to your email, social media accounts, or phone with those in your life. Just like we teach your body belongs to you, so too does your technology and what you choose to do with it – with that being said, we want you to always use it safely, but in any healthy relationship, this boundary should always be there. (CLICK) And lastly, we have hit on this in every example so far, but we really want to hit it home, is respect for differing values and beliefs – for example, you can respect another’s religion even when it differs from your own views. Respect for others’ beliefs and values really is a key point of any healthy relationship.
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The next aspect of any healthy relationship is communication. Communication comes in many forms: (CLICK) Verbal or spoken word (CLICK) Nonverbal, like body language (CLICK) Written, and electronically written In a healthy relationship, we want communication to be what we call assertive.
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Assertive communication means that one is able to stand up for their, or someone else’s, rights and opinions in a calm and positive way. (PLAY VIDEO) So in the video we just saw, we were introduced to 2 other types of communication: passive – which is too shy – and aggressive – which is too rude. Now how do we find this balance and practice assertive communication? (CLICK) First of all, have a goal in mind when trying to communicate important information to someone in your life. Next, you want to avoid assumptions because this can easily change the feel of a conversation to aggressive. Be aware of your tone and your own emotions; be confident in what you say, but not cocky. Practice active listening to what the other person is saying because it’s their right to have their own opinion be heard in turn too. Lastly, is compromise. We’re taught compromise as children and there’s a reason for that: it fosters healthy relationships throughout the lifespan, when done in an open, fair, and mutually respectful manner.
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Equality is the next key aspect of healthy relationships that we want talk about. But before we do, let’s think about a couple of discussion points. 1 – are the rules the same for both people in any given relationship? 2 – what about in romantic relationships? 3 – is equality a 50/50 split?
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The truth is is that relationships – all relationships – can change over time as people’s needs, interests, and desires change over time. That’s okay, in fact that is normal. What is hard to pinpoint and important to be aware of is how equality shifts over time. Truth is, equality can mean different things to different partners and people. But what matters is how you and your partner define it for your relationship Have the discussion about equality with your partner, or even with your close friends – especially if one of you is unhappy.
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So even after all of this talk about it, equality may still feel hard to pindown in any given relationship. Take a moment and think about these questions and the important relationships in your life. (Read questions)
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The last key aspect of a healthy relationship is self esteem. Self esteem is defined as confidence in or satisfaction with oneself. So here’s a question for you: How can self esteem impact your relationships with others? (DISCUSS)
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Here’s a quote from a healthy relationship advice columnist that we want you to think about as your continue to grow into unique and awesome individuals and develop a healthy sense of self esteem. “Be careful how you are talking to yourself, because you are listening.” (Discuss if time allows)
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Having talked about the key aspects of healthy relationships, let’s now talk about the rights and responsibilities you have and what they are exactly.
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In a relationship, you have the right to respect and to be treated as an equal. You have the right to your own feelings and opinions and to express yourself. In a relationship, you have the right to make your own decisions regardless of your partner’s or friend’s desires. You also have the right to say No to things like hanging out, but also “NO” to things like sexual activity; just because you may be in a romantic relationship does not ever mean that consent is an automatic things. It is your right to say no to what you’re not comfortable or into doing. Always. Moving on, just as you can enter a relationship, you can leave a relationship. It is your right to end a relationship anytime you so desire, whether your partner wants to or not. And lastly, it is your right to be safe and to get support as you feel you might need it, from people like trusted adults, good friends, school personnel, and other professionals like licensed counselors.
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However, let’s remember that your also have responsibilities, the first of which is to determine your limits and values in a relationship. This is a big one, and it is something that is best thought about before or as soon as you enter into a relationship. And just as you have the right to receive respect and honesty, you are responsible for giving those things in return, particularly regarding others’ feelings, opinions, and decisions. And lastly, as a partner or as a friend, you have a responsibility to listen.
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Now we’re going to talk about relationships that have crossed the line on the spectrum and have become unhealthy. In fact, we are going to watch a video that depicts a romantic relationship crossing over time and again from healthy to unhealthy. Let’s watch. (Play video)
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Here is how we are going to define an unhealthy relationship: It is “Characterized by hurtful and violent behaviors, intimidation, and coercion. One partner wants to make all the decisions and is demanding and controlling.”
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So in a romantic relationship, there are some red flags to look out for. One of them may not necessarily mean that your relationship is unhealthy but it could mean that it might be moving that way on the relationship spectrum. The first red flag is possessiveness and it may manifest in constant calls, texts, or contact; jealousy; or isolation from friend groups. The second red flag we want to talk about is emotional coercion, which could sound like “Because I love you…” or “If you loved me…” or “Maybe I should find someone who…” And the last red flag is a bit of a tricky one: Excessive flattery. It’s good to feel good in a relationship and you should receive kind words in a relationship, but when it becomes excessive, it may be a red flag that your partner is more invested than you and equality may be out of sorts. Some examples are “I’ve never felt like this…” or promises they may not be able to keep like “I’ll always be here for you….”
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Moving on from red flags are signs of an unhealthy relationship. Things like jealousy, guilt trips, blaming other people of circumstances for relationship trouble are all signs of an unhealthy relationship. In addition, if your partner exhibits unpredictable behaviors or you feel like you lack control in a relationship, it could be a sign that the relationship is unhealthy. Promises to change are another sign that your relationship is flawed in some way and may be running down that spectrum from healthy to unhealthy. And lastly, verbal abuse is a major indicator of an unhealthy relationship.
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We’re going to now watch a video that depicts a relationship that was once healthy but has moved down that spectrum and become unhealthy. (PLAY VIDEO and then use follow up questions to generate discussion, if time allows)
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Now we are going to talk about the ultimate unhealthy relationship, where not only is the relationship unhealthy, it is abusive. But what we are going to focus “…Threats as well as physical and sexual assaults, even when they occur infrequently, keep the victim fearful of potential violence. Over time the victim loses self‐confidence and supportive relationships with friends and family.”
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Sadly, 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men will experience relationship violence in his or her lifetime.
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Now we want to talk about exiting an unhealthy or abusive relationship. First of all, seek support prior to leaving AND do not confront your abusive partner alone; bring a friend or trusted adult with you. Secondly, break up with them in a safe and public setting to best reduce your risk of a violent reaction. And lastly, recall that your safety overrides all things. What this means is that healthy relationship norms do not apply – MEANING you do not have to do this in person if you feel unsafe. If Time Allows, “Let’s watch a video that recaps all these things we just spoke about:”
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Read slide, if time allows.
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Talk about resources
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NOVA supports and empowers crime victims in Bucks County Support 24‐hours on the hotline Website for further support
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Monday – Friday: 9:00 AM to 7:00 PM Saturday: 9:00 AM to 12:00 PM
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Activity if time allows.
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Today we are here to discuss a very important topic: How to be safe and smart when using the internet and other technology.
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We also want you to know that what you say to us remains confidential and will be kept to ourselves unless you disclose to us three different things: The first is if you give us reason to believe that you or someone you know are being hurt of have been hurt in the past. In this case, it is our job to get others involved so that we can stop the hurt and get you the help that you need. The second is if you give us reason to believe you are a danger to yourself or others, and lastly, if there is reason to believe that someone else that you know is a danger to themselves or others. All of this relates to our job of keeping kids, teenagers, and young adults SAFE.
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Now we are here today to talk mainly about safety. We have lots of safety rules that govern our daily life. For example, we wear helmets when we play football or other sports to protect ourselves; we drive at certain speed limits because of road conditions; we don’t run around pools for risk of slipping and we don’t dive in the shallow end of a pool, just to name a few. But what about on the internet? What safety rules do you have in place for safe internet use…? CLICK TO NEXT SLIDE
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How many of you have learned about Internet safety before? (Pause for audience response.) Although you may have already heard about some of these things we’ll be discussing, it’s always important to hear them again. Why? • As you get older, you’ll be facing more and more of these issues. • The Internet is always changing, so you might need new ways to safer. • Practice makes perfect! Today, we are going to talk about how you can stay safer and smarter online and be a better digital citizen while using the Internet. Even if you know how to avoid all of these things, there are teens who don’t. One of them could be your friend, sibling or classmate. Good digital citizens protect themselves and others online. So if you pay attention here today, you will walk away ready to help yourself and your friends deal with some of the difficult situations that come up online.
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We are mainly going to talk about guidelines for three situations you may come across online: 1) Dealing with a predator who may seek to take advantage of you 2) Picture sharing also known as sexting 3) Cyberbullying
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The first risk factor that we will address guidelines for is online predators.
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So let’s chat a bit about some red flags that might indicate predatory behavior. Firstly, “Instant Friends” and “Mentoring” ‐> These are two things to be aware of. Friendship or having someone as a valued mentor is a process, right? It’s something that develops and deepens over time. And we certainly want you to have true friends and valued mentors in your life, but we want you to have the right ones – that is, with safe and well‐trusted people. Oftentimes, predators will try to gain your trust very quickly by speeding up that trust process, sometimes by pretending to have all of the same likes and interests that you do. This is something we need for you to be aware of and to watch out for. Secondly, picture requests, sexualized talk, and exposure to pornographic content ‐> all of these things are red flags that someone online is seeking to take sexual advantage of you. We also want to talk about the idea of trust. We talked about it a minute or so ago. How long does it usually take for you to trust a person? <all audience to answer> It probably depends on the situation, right? Well, the majority of teens report that it takes anywhere from 15 minutes to three weeks to trust a stranger that they met online. Does that seem like very long for a predator to wait? NO. It is not. As we said, trust is a process that develops and deepens over time, and you have the right to determine when and how much you trust a person. Trust is mutual, but it is also in your control what you trust a person with. Please remember that, especially when dealing with people you meet
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online. Source: http://www.sascwr.org/files/www/resources_pdfs/internet_safety/Internet_Safety‐ Tips_for_Parents.pdf
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We call the process of a predator trying to gain the trust of a potential victim the grooming process. Someone who is grooming another to take sexual advantage of them may do the following things. This information is taken from a study in which convicted sex offenders disclosed to law enforcement how they groomed their victims. 1 – Flatter you into talking privately 2 – Ask you about any problems you may be experiencing in order to create the illusion of being friends; a method of building trust. 3 – Ask about who else has access to your computer or where you live; in order to assess their risk of detection and find out where you live and who else may be in the house with you. 4 – Suggest you can discuss anything together; again it’s about building that false sense of trust 5 – And lastly, comes engaging in sexualized talk and trying to arrange a meeting.
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Part of what can put you at risk for online predation is what you choose to share online. So what do you share? How many of you share: (poll by raising of hands) A photo of yourself online? Your real name? Your birthdate? The town or city where you live? Your school name? Your cellphone number? How many of you think about other identifying information: like a jersey number, your car or even license pate number, any part‐time jobs you have? How many of you check your privacy settings regularly? Sometimes you may share these things and think they’re private, but they’re not. Statistics for reference: •91% share a photo of themselves •92% share their real name to the most often used profile •82% share their birthdate •71% share the town/city where they live •71% share their school name •20% post their cellphone number
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Source: http://www.pewinternet.org/2013/05/21/teens‐social‐media‐and‐privacy/ Now, let’s talk about why this information can be dangerous – what do you think? (ask audience) All of this information can make it easier for a predator to find you, which we know is a very scary concept, but also very important to recognize. Be aware and use caution when sharing information online...
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It’s important to understand that some people don’t have to best intentions and may make inappropriate requests. If the request is unwanted or made by an adult, then it’s called a sexual solicitation. Here are some examples of solicitation: • You’re in a video chat with someone you just met online and he asks you to pull up your shirt. • A friend keeps asking you for revealing pictures even though you keep saying “no.” • You’re talking to someone on a social media site who asks you sexual questions and wants to meet up.
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Sometimes sexual solicitations can develop into more dangerous relationships with adults. In these cases, the adult tries to gain your trust by offering affection and attention. They may even try to meet you offline.
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Ask Students – Who are some people you can turn to for help? Some people are so good at manipulating teens that sometimes the teens don’t even realize they’ve been tricked. Then they might be afraid to say anything about it because: • They’ve been threatened. • They feel guilty and think people will blame them. • They think that no one will believe them. It’s never your fault, and you should not be ashamed to tell someone and ask for help. The fault lies with the adult because responsible adults do not start or have romantic relationships with teens. If an adult acts interested in a romantic relationship with you, it’s a red flag that you cannot trust them.
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If someone online sends you an inappropriate request, here are some steps you can take: • Don’t engage them ‐ Refuse to talk about sex, and don’t accept or share sexual images. • Block them or unfriend them. • Don’t meet them offline. • Tell an adult you trust. Telling an adult you trust is important even if you’ve already handled the situation. Some teens don’t want to talk to an adult because they: • Worry the adult will overreact. • Are afraid they’ll be blamed. • Think the adult can’t help. • Are embarrassed. But telling someone like a teacher, school counselor, parent or other relative can be a good move. They can help you take next steps, such as deciding what evidence to save. They can also help you get some perspective on the situation. No one should make you uncomfortable online, especially adults. Get an adult that you feel comfortable talking with to help you handle and report the situation.
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Now, let’s look at the second topic of sexting and how to be safe and smart with regard to this risk.
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What is sexting? • Taking & sending explicit photos of yourself via text, social media from phone or device (computer, tablet, etc.) • Receiving, copying or sharing explicit photos that were sent to you Sexting is one way that some teens share inappropriate information. Sexting is the sharing of nude or suggestive pictures and videos through text messages. Although some research suggests less than 7% of teens are sexting, stories about it have been all over the news. You may even know people who have been asked to do it. Teens who get involved with sexting are usually: • Joking around with friends. • In a relationship, where a girlfriend or boyfriend asks for a photo. • Flirting or trying to impress a crush. Getting a request to sext might make you feel: • Flattered, because it means that someone thinks you’re attractive. • Angry, because someone is asking you for something so private. • Pressured, especially if it comes from a boyfriend, girlfriend or crush.
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So why is sexting such a big deal? Why do you think it generates so much talk among youth your age and alarm from adults? (allow audience to answer)
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Well, one of the most important things to remember is, once you take a revealing image of yourself and hit send, the ability to consent to who sees that image is no longer yours! If you take a revealing image of yourself: • It could be lost if you misplace or lose your cell phone. • It may be passed around without your permission. For example, an ex‐boyfriend or girlfriend may share the sext to get revenge. • People may bully or judge you because of the image. Some teens have been bullied so badly because of sexting images that they have been afraid to go to school. • The person that receives the image might try to use it to blackmail you into sending more images. • You may get in trouble with your school or with law enforcement, especially if there is evidence of blackmail, bullying or forwarding without permission. We’ll talk more about that in a moment.
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There are both legal and socio‐emotional consequences. Socially it can be devastating. Just one picture can lead to relentless taunting and abuse from peers. Legally it can be a lifetime of regret. Just one picture can lead to legal label of being a registered sex offender. Also think about trying to get a job, get into schools…. All of those things could be affected by a single sext. (show video)
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To avoid the risk factors associated with sexting, don’t ask for a sext in the first place. You do not want to put yourself and others at risk of the social and legal consequences of having a sexually explicit image on your device. Another great rule of thumb is to only share images of yourself that you’d want anyone to see; similarly it is good digital citizenship practice to ask permission to share someone else’s picture or video. And lastly, if a picture of you is shared, tell someone who is in a position of power to help you through the situation… Let’s talk a little more on that….
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If a sexting image or video has been posted to a website or app, there are steps you can take to try to get it taken down. First, find out which websites the image is on and file a complaint. Trustworthy websites and apps work hard to keep off sexual images of minors and will remove them if notified. Include your age in the report and be clear that the picture was posted without your consent. Don’t forget that each website has its own reporting procedures, so you have to file a complaint for each one the picture or video is on. If your image is on a website that looks untrustworthy or doesn’t have a way to report, then consider contacting the police or filing a report at the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children’s CyberTipline.org. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone – this has happened to other teens too. You can always reach out to a friend, a counselor or another adult you trust for help or support. You have the strength to move past it.
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The last internet risk or issue that we are going to look at today is cyberbullying, which is an issue that many of you may be aware of in some capacity.
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Cyberbullying is the use of technology to bully someone. Some examples are: • Creating a hate site about someone. • Posting OR SHARING mean comments online. • Photoshopping someone’s photo to embarrass them. • Spreading rumors and gossip through text messages or social media to harm someone or their reputation. • Stealing someone’s identity to create a fake profile. Some of these things may seem more like jokes or pranks than bullying to you. But even if you did not intend to hurt someone’s feelings, it can still be cyberbullying.
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You’ve probably heard the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” I want you to ask yourself, is that really true? People use words to hurt each other all the time; how is what we say online any different than what we say in real life? (pause for reflection) Words matter, whether it is face to face or online. The consequences of bullying have what we call a ripple effect, meaning that they build upon one another. It can start at first with isolation and a low sense of self‐esteem. This can have the effect of lowering one’s academic performance or lead to poor school attendance ‐> all of this can help to foster a bullying culture which makes a teen nervous about going online or even to school. Sadly, cyberbullying has sometimes been associated with suicide, which is the 3rd highest cause of death among 12 – 18 year olds. Sometimes teens who are cyberbullied feel like hurting themselves, although suicide is rare. If a cyberbullied teen does commit suicide, he or she is usually dealing with other problems too. But it shouldn’t take that type of tragedy for us to care about people who are being cyberbullied. We can all be careful about what we do and say to people, both on‐ and offline. And if you
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know that one of your friends is thinking about harming his or herself, bring it to the attention of a teacher, school counselor or other trusted adult immediately.
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If you are cyberbullied, there are three easy steps that you should take to deal with the situation. First of all stop – do not delete the cyberbullying message and stay in control by not engaging with the bully. Next, block them if you are able to do so. Once you have, make a report, either to your school (most have cyberbullying policies), the cellphone provider, the social media website where the bullying occurred, and possibly even the police depending on the severity of the threat to yourself. Always tell a trusted adult in your life about the bullying. They will be able to provide you with emotional support and can help you through the reporting process.
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When you use the internet, it is important to be a good Digital Citizen and encourage positive behavior and to keep critical comments to oneself. If you see cyberbullying occurring, show empathy for the victim and stand up for them if you are able to. Importantly, do NOT forward or comment on any harassing or negative posts. And lastly, report what you see happening – and be sure to get that support we talked about if it happens to you. Be a part of the solution to cyberbullying!
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Some people think that what they do online is separate from their “real” lives. But as we’ve seen today, what we do online matters offline too. Make the choice to create a safe and positive on‐ and offline environment at school and with your friends by: • Being careful about what you share and whom you talk to online. • Don’t request, send, or share explicit images. • Keep critical comments to yourself and stop cyberbullying when you see it happening. • And lastly, report behavior that inappropriate and especially behavior that is harmful or dangerous. Most importantly, don’t forget to communicate with the adults you trust about what you do online. You don’t have to wait for something bad to happen. Take the lead and show them all of the ways that you are a responsible digital citizen.
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Talk about resources
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NOVA supports and empowers crime victims in Bucks County Support 24‐hours on the hotline Website for further support
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Monday – Friday: 9:00 AM to 7:00 PM Saturday: 9:00 AM to 12:00 PM
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Welcome & intros
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We also want you to know that what you say to us remains confidential and will be kept to ourselves unless you disclose to us three different things: The first is if you give us reason to believe that you or someone you know are being hurt of have been hurt in the past. In this case, it is our job to get others involved so that we can stop the hurt and get you the help that you need. The second is if you give us reason to believe you are a danger to yourself or others, and lastly, if there is reason to believe that someone else that you know is a danger to themselves or others. All of this relates to our job of keeping kids, teenagers, and young adults SAFE.
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Today we are here to talk about Sexting, which we are defining as the sharing of sexually explicit photos or messages via phone, email, or social media. And [click] we will learn why it is such a big deal today.
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Let’s start with a question for you: What is it that you value the most? (allow time for audience to answer) Perhaps it is your phone. Video games Family & Friends Or maybe sporting events
Click – BUT, what about yourself? What about your body? Or your well‐being?
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What is most important – before any material objects – is really all about YOU. Your body and health. Your feelings. Your safety and well‐being. Your reputation. Your privacy.
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But here's the thing: When you send sexy pics of yourself or your friends or even forward pics of other people, you will face "sexting consequences" and it could get you into a whole mess of trouble.
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“Sexting” among teenagers has increasingly made news headlines, resulting in a lot of worried parents. Usually defined as sharing a sexual photo of oneself nude or nearly nude through mobile or Internet communication—sexting may actually be less common than most people think. In fact, one national survey suggests that only a small minority—about 7 percent—of teens are sexting. So, you see, not everyone is sexting. And it is certainly not the norm.
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Ask: “Why do you think some people choose to sext?” click: Reasons teens sext varies widely. In some cases it is a form of flirting, or showing affection to a significant other or dating partner. Some teens send racy images as a “joke” while some are responding to peer pressure (examples of this might include being dared to send, feeling the need to prove one’s desirability; possibly even bullying, or coercions like if you loved me you’d send me one.)
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Let’s talk for a minute about going viral… We now the going viral is something that is super fast, but what does going viral mean? Discuss and segue into popular viral videos as examples of “cute” viral videos. However, let’s say something you wanted to keep private, that you definitely did not want most people, maybe all but one person, maybe a sext – goes viral. What is important for you to know, and to keep in mind, is that many, many people could see a revealing image of you that makes its way out of the hands of the intended recipient, for any reason…
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It could be seen by people you know… People you do not know… Your teacher or principal… A college’s Office of Admission…. A panel at a job interview…
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The bottom line is, once you hit send, the choice is out of your hands.
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if you take a revealing image of yourself: • It may be passed around without your permission. For example, an ex love interest may share the sext to get revenge. • People may bully or judge you because of the image. Some teens have been bullied so badly because of sexting images that they have been afraid to go to school. • The person that receives the image might try to use it to blackmail you into sending more images. • You may get in trouble with your school or with law enforcement, especially if there is evidence of blackmail, bullying or forwarding without permission. Some teens have been suspended from class, sports teams and other activities. Others have been charged with a crime and had to complete community service or educational programs.
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We also want you to know that what you say to us remains confidential and will be kept to ourselves unless you disclose to us three different things: The first is if you give us reason to believe that you or someone you know are being hurt of have been hurt in the past. In this case, it is our job to get others involved so that we can stop the hurt and get you the help that you need. The second is if you give us reason to believe you are a danger to yourself or others, and lastly, if there is reason to believe that someone else that you know is a danger to themselves or others. All of this relates to our job of keeping kids, teenagers, and young adults SAFE.
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Legally it can literally be a lifetime of regret. Sexting can also be socially and / or emotionally devastating. Just one picture can lead to relentless taunting and abuse from peers.
In cases where the images have been seen by others beyond the intended person, the consequences can be quite severe in terms of possible criminal prosecution, trouble with school authorities or serious social and psychological consequences including increased bullying, social isolation, shaming and severe anxiety, fear and depression.
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Let’s talk a bit more closely about some of the legal consequences. Legally, there may be police involvement regarding the dissemination or spreading of sexually explicit images of minors. This means that the sender, receiver, and any other person who share such images may be found criminally liable and could be charged with possession of child pornography – and thus forced to register as a sex offender. {Play video} ________________________ § 6321. of sexually explicit images by minor. In Pennsylvania, it is a summary offense for a minor to send or possess a sexually explicit image of a minor. It is a misdemeanor to transmit a sexually explicit image of a minor, other than themselves. Judges must first consider referring the minor to a diversionary program, and may order them to participate and complete an educational program. Upon successful completion, the minor’s record for this crime shall be expunged. (October 25, 2012)
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Socially, a sext can lead to increased or new bullying which can in turn lead to isolation from family and friends, and possibly even a declined academic performance. http://www.connectsafely.org/tips‐for‐dealing‐with‐teen‐sexting/
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Additionally, there are serious emotional / psychological consequences including associated with sexting. These include feelings of guilt, shame, and humiliation as well as severe anxiety. Some might even experience body insecurity, fear, and depression. In rare cases, as we will see in a moment, sexting has exacerbated or otherwise contributed to suicidal tendencies. http://www.connectsafely.org/tips‐for‐dealing‐with‐teen‐sexting/
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We are now going to talk about how you can best prevent the harmful sexting consequences that we just talked about.
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The first and best way that you can best protect yourself from the negative consequences of sexting that so many teens experience is not asking for a sext in the first place. In many of our programs, like Bullying and Cyberbullying, we talk to youth about how words matter; really though, intimate pictures matter just as much. This is a matter of respect, and respect matters.
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Saying no. All teens need to say no sometimes, even to people they care about. They may have to say no to a party or other invitation or drugs, alcohol or other risky activities. People say no for all kinds of reasons and it can be good to explore this. Saying no to someone does not mean that you do not like them or care about them. A lot of people do not feel confident about saying no, but try to remember why you are saying no in the first place – you should never feel pressured to say yes to something that you are not comfortable doing. It may also help to practice saying no.
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So what is your “Say No” style? What is important to remember is that when you are saying No to a sext, you can do this in the way that feels most comfortable to you. You might choose to say no via text, or, alternately, you might want to have a conversation face‐to‐face. Both of these methods are okay! For one, you can give a simple and honest No, and share your thoughts if you feel comfortable. However, a simple and honest No is enough – and will be respected if your dating partner respects you. Additionally, you could use humor to deflect the request or simply change the subject as a way of showing disinterest in sexting. You can even ignore the request. What matters the most is choosing the No style that feels most comfortable to you in the context of your relationship with your partner.
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When we talk about sexting and saying no, we are talking also about the cultural context that it occurs in. In a culture of mutual respect, your right to say no will be respected. Let’s take a look at one testimonial about someone who was unsure about sexting and what their friend had to say. (READ QUOTE AND ASK FOR THOUGHTS/REACTIONS) Being in a relationship – and we don’t mean just “official relationships” when we say that – means caring enough about the other person to take “NO” for an answer graciously. ‐> Can ask for thoughts on this/share a story…
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Now, with all of that being said, we all know that everyone makes mistakes. Let’s say that you sent a sext and it starts to spread. What can you or should you do? It’s important to remember three things as you seek to regain control: To make a report Get support And NOT to give up… we all make mistakes! EXTRA TEXT FROM DELETED SLIDES:
Making a report is one of the best ways to stop your image from spreading if it is on a website/app or being shared without your consent. The best place to start is consulting with a trusted adult in your life, like your parent or guardian, a teacher, a guidance counselor, a coach, a youth pastor, and so on. While this may be a difficult place to start, it’s important to involve people who are equipped to help you into the conversation. For example, if your pictures are being
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shared around school, your teachers and school administrators can help stop it by making clear there are consequences for sharing them. Another place you can make a report to is the website or app on which your pictures are being shared. Trustworthy websites/apps work hard to keep out sexual images of minors and they will remove them if notified. You can also report anyone who is posting or sharing images of you. For more information about reporting to popular websites/apps, visit https://needhelpnow.ca/removing_pictures To the police. They can help stop your image from spreading by working with websites/apps and talking to the people sharing it. You should know if the police get involved, you could face some consequences, too. It’s illegal to share sexual images of minors even if they are of you. You may not be charged with a crime, but you may have to attend classes or complete community service. To CyberTipline.org. This tipline can connect you with the experts best suited to work on your case. They may contact the website or the police, or reach out to you for more details. You can report without sharing your name and can even make a report for a friend if they need help. One of the worst things about a sexting incident is feeling like you’re facing everything alone. But you have people who care for you and want to help. Talk to them! Your friends can stand up for you by refusing to forward the image and making it clear that it’s not cool to share the image or bully you. A trusted adult can offer advice, help you report, and help you deal with other complicated things. It could be your mom, dad, an aunt, a school counselor, or anyone you trust and are comfortable talking to. Teachers can remind your classmates and peers about your school’s rules and codes on bullying and help put a stop to any bullying behavior.
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If you feel that your school is ignoring the bullying, ask your mom, dad, or guardian for help. They can champion your case at your school, with your teachers, and other adults
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Now let’s switch gears and say that YOU receive a sext and in this instance, it’s from someone you don’t know. The best course of action is to tell a trusted adult – do NOT forward it as this may bring legal ramifications, but rather ignore it and block the sender. Talk to the trusted adult about how this experience made you feel and get support in whatever form you need it.
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if the picture is from a friend or someone you know, then someone needs to talk to that friend so he or she is aware of possible harmful consequences. You’re actually doing the friend a big favor because of the serious trouble that can happen if the police get involved. Get the friend to delete the photo(s).
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Once a sexting picture or video is out of your hands, it is out of your control. Fortunately, you can choose to stay in control before it ever gets to that point. • Don’t take images of yourself that you wouldn’t want everyone to see. • Don’t forward anyone else’s picture or video. Imagine how betrayed you’d feel if this happened to you. • Don’t ask or pressure anyone to share an image. Many teens send sexts because they’ve been asked to by a boyfriend, girlfriend or crush. But you shouldn’t ask anyone to take this kind of risk, especially if it’s someone you care about. • Talk to a trusted adult if you receive a revealing image, are being pressured into sending one or have sent one. While talking to an adult may seem difficult or embarrassing, it is important that you get one involved. An adult can help you by: • Talking to your school to stop any bullying that has happened because of the image being shared. • Working with law enforcement to investigate the situation. • Getting the image removed from any websites that it’s on.
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When discussing the scenario think about these things: How can Jack be part of the group and say no? Could the girls have controlled who would see their photos? What impact might the sharing of a person’s image have on them now and later in their lives?
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When discussing this scenario, consider: Does this request reflect respect for Emily’s person (i.e. culture of mutual respect that was discussed earlier)? How could Emily say no since she is uncomfortable? Who could Emily talk to about this situation?
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When discussing the scenario think about these things: How can Dave help Chris? What trusted adults could Chris and/or Dave talk to for help? Should Dave tell their parents? What else can he do to help?
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When discussing this scenario, consider: Does this request reflect respect for Emily’s person (i.e. culture of mutual respect that was discussed earlier)? How could Emily say no since she is uncomfortable? Who could Emily talk to about this situation?
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Consider the following: is it okay for Alex to look at the photo given that he had nothing to do with taking it or sending it and hasn’t physically received it on his phone? is it wrong to share sexting photos with other people? how might the girl feel if she realizes other people can view the photo she sent to her boyfriend before they broke up? what might happen to a sexting photo if it is made public? are there legal implications of sexting between people who are under 18 years of age?
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Consider the following: Was it okay for Rachel to do this, even as a joke? As a follow up ‐ Is it wrong to share sexting photos with other people, even as a joke? What might happen to a sexting photo if it is made public? What might happen to Rachel? What might happen to Anna? How could Anna best confront Rachel about this issue?
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Slide #17 Talk about resources
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Slide #18 NOVA supports and empowers crime victims in Bucks County Support 24‐hours on the hotline Website for further support
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Slide #19 Monday – Friday: 9:00 AM to 7:00 PM Saturday: 9:00 AM to 12:00 PM
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We also want you to know that what you say to us remains confidential and will be kept to ourselves unless you disclose to us three different things: The first is if you give us reason to believe that you or someone you know are being hurt of have been hurt in the past. In this case, it is our job to get others involved so that we can stop the hurt and get you the help that you need. The second is if you give us reason to believe you are a danger to yourself or others, and lastly, if there is reason to believe that someone else that you know is a danger to themselves or others. All of this relates to our job of keeping kids, teenagers, and young adults SAFE.
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Before we talk about the main point of today’s presentation, we want to outline what harassment is. Harassment has many definitions, but today we are going to call it “aggressive pressure or intimidation” There are many types of harassment (GIVE EXAMPLES ALONG THE WAY): Verbal – ex name calling Non‐verbal – ex menacing looks Physical – ex bullying like punching or hitting Sexual – the point of today’s conversation…..
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Sexual Harassment is Unwelcome comments, gestures, actions, or attn. that is intended to hurt, offend, or intimidate another person. Sexual harassment may focus on things like someone’s appearance, body parts, or sexual orientation, or someone’s sexual past. And, importantly, sexual harassment is a CRIME.
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Criminally, it is deliberate or repeated behavior of a sexual or sex‐based nature that is three important things: UNWELCOME UNSOLICITED (may need to explain this term) UNRECIPORICATED.
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Just as there are multiple types of harassment, there are multiple types of sexual harassment. For example, it can be verbal through comments, jokes, sexual suggestions, or innuendos It can be non‐verbal through things like leering or suggestive looks And, it can be physical through unwanted touches of a sexual nature – pats, pinches, slaps, rubbing, and so on.
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Let’s watch a video that depicts sexual harassment occurring in a school setting. After the video, ask for thoughts and reactions. You might ask what types of sexual harassment they saw in the video. Click, and the three U’s of sexual harassment come up; reiterate that her reaction showed all three of these characteristics.
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Discuss further examples, and if time allows, ask which of these, if any, the audience is surprised to learn constitute sexual harassment.
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So where does sexual harassment occur? We most often think of it happening at school or at work, but really it is a crime that can happen anywhere from the street to the grocery store to your own neighborhood. Today though, we are going to talk a bit more about sexual harassment as it occurs in schools. Read through statistics as time allows and ask for thoughts and reactions. Ask if students are surprised to learn that it occurs in most areas of the school, including classrooms, the gym, by lockers, and near to school but off of school‐owned property. E.g. surrounding blocks as students walk home from school.
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Now we may have in our mind pictures of who specifically gets sexually harassed, but it is important to know that this is an indiscriminate crime. With each click, discuss how sexual harassment occurs to adults, the elderly, teens and young adults, females, males, and persons of all races, ethnicities, and orientations.
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So let’s switch gears now and talk a little about the difference between flirting and harassment…. Ask audience to recall the three U’s as a warm up to the next slide.
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List and discuss the contrasting characteristics of flirting and harassment. If time allows, draw attention to the pictures and discuss the differences in body language associated with each.
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The important thing to remember when speaking to another person is that impact does not always equal your intent. Show video and discuss how what was meant did not equate to the impact that their words had on others. Encourage students to self‐reflect when speaking and to utilize the platinum rule: Treat others how they would like to be treated. And to always remember that WORDS MATTER!
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Reiteration on the impact of one’s words. Note the last question, is there a difference in power between myself and the other person? ‐> ask students why they think that this could be important and explain that this is sometimes, but not always, an element of sexual harassment or just harassment in general.
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Sexual harassment activity – please see directions at the top of the slide. Encourage open discussion afterwards as a group.
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If you are a victim of sexual harassment, there are certain things that you can do to respond in a proactive manner. First of all, show confidence and be assertive by using “I language” like “I feel…” or “I would appreciate if you would stop…” If you are not comfortable confronting your harasser, you can certainly leave, but it is so important that you seek support afterwards and not keep this to yourself. In a negative situation, it is always a good idea to look for allies, or other people there who can help you if you want to confront your harasser. Also, it is important to remain civil and not become a harasser in turn.
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Let’s look at the conclusion of the video we watched before and see some assertive responses this time around. Discuss how the students did the various steps listed on the previous slide.
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If you see sexual harassment occurring, it is important to support the person who is being harassed. If you are able to, speak up and use the same assertive, confident language that you would use if you were being harassed. If you are not able to speak up, then you can provide important support and empathy to the victim of harassment and help them to seek additional support from someone who is in a position of power to stop the harassment like a teacher or guidance counselor.
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As a final note, some of you may be getting part‐time jobs or planning on entering into the workforce soon. It is important to know that if sexual harassment occurs in your workplace, there are federal laws in place to protect you. The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and the Pennsylvania Human Relations Commission are the two organizations that answer sexual harassment suits. Which one would be responsible differs per workplace based on the number of employees there are…. But know that these organizations can help you, as well as….
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Talk about resources
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NOVA supports and empowers crime victims in Bucks County Support 24‐hours on the hotline Website for further support
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Monday – Friday: 9:00 AM to 7:00 PM Saturday: 9:00 AM to 12:00 PM
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When you were little‐ did anyone ever tickle you so hard you thought you’d pass out or just couldn’t take it?!!! Did you keep saying stop and no? Did they stop? Did they respect your no? While that might have been having fun‐ because you were having fun and it was mutual, if you really meant STOP and NO‐ it was without your consent. So on today’s topic of sexual assault…. http://www.todaysparent.com/blogs/tp‐loves/this‐moms‐super‐cute‐video‐explains‐ consent‐in‐a‐kid‐friendly‐way/ Ask questions like, “How do you know whether your partner is ready to kiss you?” and “How do you think you can tell if a girl (or boy) is interested in you?” This is a great time to explain enthusiastic consent. About asking permission to kiss or touch a partner. Explain that only “yes” means “yes”. Don’t wait for your partner to say “no” to look for consent.
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What are some other words you know for sexual violence?
(abuse, molestation, rape)
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Sexual acts can include kissing, touching, hooking up, sexting or having sex. All of these are acts of a sexual nature. Sometimes in relationships these acts or behaviors are wanted and are healthy and normal. However, forcing or pressuring someone to do something they don’t want is nonconsensual- meaning they did not give consent. This is sexual violence or sexual assault.
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What are some other words you know for sexual violence?
(abuse, molestation, rape)
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Use of physical, intellectual, moral, emotional or psychological force, either express or implied. § 3121. Rape. (a) Offense defined.‐‐A person commits a felony of the first degree when the person engages in sexual intercourse with a complainant: (1) By forcible compulsion. (2) By threat of forcible compulsion that would prevent resistance by a person of reasonable resolution. (3) Who is unconscious or where the person knows that the complainant is unaware that the sexual intercourse is occurring. (4) Where the person has substantially impaired the complainant's power to appraise or control his or her conduct by administering or employing, without the knowledge of the complainant, drugs, intoxicants or other means for the purpose of preventing resistance. (5) Who suffers from a mental disability which renders the complainant incapable of consent.
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§ 3121. Rape. (a) Offense defined.‐‐A person commits a felony of the first degree when the person engages in sexual intercourse with a complainant: (1) By forcible compulsion. (2) By threat of forcible compulsion that would prevent resistance by a person of reasonable resolution. (3) Who is unconscious or where the person knows that the complainant is unaware that the sexual intercourse is occurring. (4) Where the person has substantially impaired the complainant's power to appraise or control his or her conduct by administering or employing, without the knowledge of the complainant, drugs, intoxicants or other means for the purpose of preventing resistance. (5) Who suffers from a mental disability which renders the complainant incapable of consent.
Someone under the age of 16 with someone 4 or more years older: 13 with a 17 year old 14 with an 18 year old 15 with a 19 year old
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Anytime someone is forced to have sex against their will, they have been sexually assaulted, regardless of whether or not they fought back or said "no". There are many reasons why a victim might not physically fight their attacker including shock, fear, threats or the size and strength of the attacker. While no always means no, only yes can mean yes – and only sometimes. For sex not to be considered sexual assault, both partners must consent – or agree to – sex. Sexual assault can occur even if the victim/survivor didn’t say no and even if s/he says yes if alcohol or coercion or guilt is used to get the victim to say yes when they normally wouldn’t.
Reported sexual assaults are true, with very few exceptions. According to CONNSACS, only 2% of reported rapes are false. This is the same rate of false reporting as other major crime reports.
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It is estimated that 70% of all rapes are committed by someone known by the victim/survivor. They may be a friend, neighbor, boss or a relative, father, uncle, aunt, brother, sister, partner or ex partner. They may be a tradesperson or a professional e.g. doctor, teacher, psychiatrist, police officer, clergy or public servant.
Additionally, most sexual assaults are committed in places the victim feels comfortable:
The majority of assaults occur in places ordinarily thought to be safe, such as homes, cars and schools and offices.
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Fact, men can be raped – by other men and by women. Men can be and are sexually assaulted. Any man can be sexually assaulted regardless of size, strength, appearance, age, occupation, race or sexual identity. The idea that men can’t be raped or sexually assaulted is linked to unrealistic beliefs that a ‘man’ should be able to defend himself against attack. Men, women and children of all ages, races, religions, and economic classes can be and have been victims of sexual assault. Sexual assault occurs in rural areas, small towns and larger cities.
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Sexual assault is a violent attack on an individual, not a spontaneous crime of sexual passion. Wearing a short skirt or drinking too much is not a crime. Walking alone or asking someone to your bedroom is not a crime. Being afraid to say no is not a crime. Sexual assault is always a crime. Bottom line: No one ever asks to be raped and sexual assault is never justified.
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Drug‐facilitated sexual assault occurs when alcohol or drugs are used to compromise an individual's ability to consent to sexual activity. These substances make it easier for a perpetrator to commit sexual assault because they inhibit a person’s ability to resist and can prevent them from remembering the assault. You may have heard the term “date rape drugs” to refer to substances that can aid a perpetrator in committing sexual assault. Drug‐facilitated sexual assault can happen to anyone, by anyone, whether the perpetrator is a date, a stranger, or someone you’ve known for a while.
Prescription drugs like sleep aids, anxiety medication, muscle relaxers, and tranquilizers may also be used by perpetrators. Street drugs, like GHB, rohypnol, ecstasy, and ketamine can be added to drinks without changing the color, flavor, or odor of the beverage. Alcohol is the most commonly used substance in drug‐facilitated sexual assault.
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When someone takes advantage of a victim’s voluntary use of drugs or alcohol.
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When someone intentionally forces a victim to consume drugs without their knowledge.
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Mandatory Minimum Sentence on Rape Conviction is a minimum of 5 years Maximum 20 years
In addition to this term, if the defendant used any type of intoxicating drug in the commission of this offense, the sentence may be extended for an additional ten years in prison
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Not all survivors find it necessary to report sexual assault to the criminal justice system in order to move forward from their experience. In fact, some feel that the criminal justice system re‐victimizes them in its process. Some survivors find that the services provided by a rape crisis and recovery center or similar provider are the only services they feel comfortable pursuing. A survivor’s relationship with the offender has a strong effect on the likelihood of reporting. Survivors cite the following reasons for not reporting a sexual assault: • Fear of reprisal • Personal matter • Reported to a different official • Not important enough to respondent • Belief that the police would not do anything to help • Belief that the police could not do anything to help • Did not want to get offender in trouble with law • Did not want family to know • Did not want others to know • Not enough proof • Fear of the justice system • Did not know how • Feel the crime was not “serious enough” • Fear of lack of evidence • Unsure about perpetrator’s intent
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A bystander is a person who is present when an event takes place but isn’t directly involved. Bystanders might be present when sexual assault or abuse occurs—or they could witness the circumstances that lead up to these crimes. Begin with a quick brainstorm about why people don’t get involved in a given situation. Allow the group some thinking time and encourage their answers, but if they need help getting started, here are a few reasons you could suggest: • It is not my problem. • It is not my job. • It is not my responsibility. • I just don’t want to go there. • I don’t want to make things worse. • I don’t feel safe. • I don’t know what to do or say. • I don’t want to be a snitch. • I don’t get into other people’s business. • I believe in the rights of the individual.
Everyone has a role to play in preventing sexual assault. There are many different ways that you can step in or make a difference if you see someone at risk. This approach to preventing sexual assault is referred to as “bystander intervention.” How can I play a role in preventing sexual assault? The key to keeping your friends safe is learning how to intervene in a way that fits the situation and your comfort level. Having this knowledge on hand can give you the confidence to step in when something isn’t right. Stepping in can make all the difference, but it should never put your own safety at risk. Create a distraction Do what you can to interrupt the situation. A distraction can give the person at risk
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a chance to get to a safe place. Cut off the conversation with a diversion like, “Let’s get pizza, I’m starving,” or “This party is lame. Let’s try somewhere else.” Bring out fresh food or drinks and offer them to everyone at the party, including the people you are concerned about. Start an activity that is draws other people in, like a game, a debate, or a dance party. Ask directly Talk directly to the person who might be in trouble. Ask questions like “Who did you come here with?” or “Would you like me to stay with you?” Refer to an authority Sometimes the safest way to intervene is to refer to a neutral party with the authority to change the situation, like a parent or chaperone Don’t hesitate to call 911 if you are concerned for someone else’s safety. Enlist others It can be intimidating to approach a situation alone. Enlist another person to support you. Ask someone to come with you to approach the person at risk. When it comes to expressing concern, sometimes there is power in numbers. Ask someone to intervene in your place. For example, you could ask someone who knows the person at risk to escort them to the bathroom. Enlist the friend of the person you’re concerned about. “Your friend looks like they’ve had a lot to drink. Can you check on them?” Your actions matter Whether or not you were able to change the outcome, by stepping in you are helping to change the way people think about their role in preventing sexual assault. If you suspect that someone you know has been sexually assaulted, there are steps you can take to support that person and show you care.
Brainstorm a list of reasons people DO get involved. Again, let the group develop their own ideas, but if they need a few ideas, offer a few of these reasons: • The person involved is someone I care about. • Someone helped ME once. • I didn’t think about it, I just reacted. • I was just doing what I would want someone to do for me. • I knew he was drunk, and I wanted to be sure no one got hurt.
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It’s hard to know what to do, how to feel, or what your options are after a sexual assault. Please know that you’re not alone. Below are some things to keep in mind. If you are in immediate danger or seriously injured, call 911. 1.Your safety is important. Are you in a safe place? If you’re not feeling safe, consider reaching out to someone you trust for support. You don’t have to go through this alone. 2.What happened was not your fault. Something happened to you that you didn’t want to happen—and that’s not OK. 3.Call NOVA. You’ll be connected to a trained staff member. They will direct you to the appropriate local health facility that can care for survivors of sexual assault. NOVA will be able to send a trained advocate to accompany you.
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Talk about resources
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NOVA supports and empowers crime victims in Bucks County Support 24‐hours on the hotline Website for further support
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Monday – Friday: 9:00 AM to 7:00 PM Saturday: 9:00 AM to 12:00 PM
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We also want you to know that what you say to us remains confidential and will be kept to ourselves unless you disclose to us three different things: The first is if you give us reason to believe that you or someone you know are being hurt of have been hurt in the past. In this case, it is our job to get others involved so that we can stop the hurt and get you the help that you need. The second is if you give us reason to believe you are a danger to yourself or others, and lastly, if there is reason to believe that someone else that you know is a danger to themselves or others. All of this relates to our job of keeping kids, teenagers, and young adults SAFE.
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Discussion point about the prevalence of sexual violence and then the sexual violence that young persons face in this country.
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So how do we define sexual violence? When we talk about Sexual violence, we mean any sexual act without consent or any unwanted act of a sexual nature imposed on a person.
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We have lots of words that describe this spectrum of behaviors that constitute sexual violence. What are some other words you know for sexual violence?
(abuse, molestation, rape)
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Some forms of sexual violence start out as less invasive behaviors like voyeurism, exposure, and sexual harassment. Do we know what all of those are? Voyeurism = your general “peeping Tom” Exposure would be like a flasher. *It’s important to note that all of these behaviors are crimes, although we have talked about some being less invasive than others. From there, these behaviors can lead to more violent crimes like sexual assault, rape, and child sexual abuse.
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What is RAPE? To put it simply, rape is sex without consent. And it can include the use of force as we just talked about, or the threat of force. ______________________ Use of physical, intellectual, moral, emotional or psychological force, either express or implied. § 3121. Rape. (a) Offense defined.‐‐A person commits a felony of the first degree when the person engages in sexual intercourse with a complainant: (1) By forcible compulsion. (2) By threat of forcible compulsion that would prevent resistance by a person of reasonable resolution. (3) Who is unconscious or where the person knows that the complainant is unaware that the sexual intercourse is occurring. (4) Where the person has substantially impaired the complainant's power to appraise or control his or her conduct by administering or employing, without the knowledge of the complainant, drugs, intoxicants or other means for the purpose of preventing resistance. (5) Who suffers from a mental disability which renders the complainant incapable of consent.
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These violent crimes involve the use or threat of force, which can exist in several forms. We often think of force solely as being a physical thing, but there are such things are mental, verbal, and financial force, sometimes called coercion, that are just as real and damaging as physical force.
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The important thing to understand and to remember about sexual violence is that rape and sexual assault are not motivated by sexual desire, but rather the need for power and control. And, also, that rape is a crime that can happen to anyone.
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So let’s change gears now and talk about consent. Many of us probably know and recognize that consent is permission for something to happen or an agreement to do something. To explain sexual consent, I have for us today a nice video that explains it quite nicely. Let’s watch. So, as we just saw in the video, when you have consent, you know for sure that your partner is totally into what you’re doing.
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We call this affirmative consent. Examples might be asking permission to kiss or touch a partner in a certain place.
So, to summarize, only an informed, sober, freely‐given, enthusiastic YES means consent.
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§ 3121. Rape. (a) Offense defined.‐‐A person commits a felony of the first degree when the person engages in sexual intercourse with a complainant: (1) By forcible compulsion. (2) By threat of forcible compulsion that would prevent resistance by a person of reasonable resolution. (3) Who is unconscious or where the person knows that the complainant is unaware that the sexual intercourse is occurring. (4) Where the person has substantially impaired the complainant's power to appraise or control his or her conduct by administering or employing, without the knowledge of the complainant, drugs, intoxicants or other means for the purpose of preventing resistance. (5) Who suffers from a mental disability which renders the complainant incapable of consent.
Someone under the age of 16 with someone 4 or more years older: 13 with a 17 year old 14 with an 18 year old 15 with a 19 year old
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As we have previously said, rape and sexual assault can happen to anyone: Children; elders; teenagers; females; males; and people of all races, ethnicities, and orientations. It is an indiscriminate crime.
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It is also the most underreported crime in the US. In fact, it’s estimated that only 344 out every 1000 sexual assaults are reported to police. That means that about 2 out 3 go unreported. (Source: NSVRC)
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One of the most common reasons for this lack of reporting is victim‐blaming. Victim blaming is when the victim of a crime is held entirely or even partially responsible for what happened to them. Which is why we want to, today, highlight another very important piece of information: That abuse is NEVER the victim’s fault, and it is up to all of us to make the conscious decision to never make excuses for the perpetrator of a crime and to never throw the blame onto the victim.
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We often think that rape and sexual assault is a crime that occurs in a darkened alleyway by someone we don’t know; Yet this is not so – in fact, just as about 93% of children who are victimized know their abuser, an estimated 7 out of 10 assaults are committed by someone know to the victim. This is called acquaintance rape.
Note that: Instances of past intimacy ‐ or other acts like kissing ‐ do not give someone consent for increased or continued sexual contact
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Let’s talk a bit now about drug facilitated sexual assault. This occurs when alcohol or drugs are used to compromise an individual's ability to consent to sexual activity. These substances make it easier for a perpetrator to commit sexual assault because they inhibit a person’s ability to resist and can also prevent them from remembering the assault. You may have heard the term “date rape drugs” to refer to substances that can aid a perpetrator in committing sexual assault. Drug‐facilitated sexual assault can happen to anyone, by anyone, whether the assaulter is a date, a stranger, or someone you’ve known for a while. Prescription drugs like sleep aids, anxiety medication, muscle relaxers, and tranquilizers may also be used. Street drugs, like GHB, rohypnol, ecstasy, and ketamine can be added to drinks without changing the color, flavor, or odor of the beverage.
However, it is important to know that alcohol is more commonly used in the commission of sexual assault.
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Let’s talk a bit now about drug facilitated sexual assault. This occurs when alcohol or drugs are used to compromise an individual's ability to consent to sexual activity. These substances make it easier for a perpetrator to commit sexual assault because they inhibit a person’s ability to resist and can also prevent them from remembering the assault. You may have heard the term “date rape drugs” to refer to substances that can aid a perpetrator in committing sexual assault. Drug‐facilitated sexual assault can happen to anyone, by anyone, whether the assaulter is a date, a stranger, or someone you’ve known for a while. Prescription drugs like sleep aids, anxiety medication, muscle relaxers, and tranquilizers may also be used. Street drugs, like GHB, rohypnol, ecstasy, and ketamine can be added to drinks without changing the color, flavor, or odor of the beverage.
However, it is important to know that alcohol is more commonly used in the commission of sexual assault.
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We also want you to know that while drug facilitated sexual assault does occur, voluntary intoxication represents a risk factor as well. In fact, alcohol in general is more frequently associated with campus sexual assault than is drugs. Keep this in mind because we are going to discuss risk factors, as well as risk reduction factors, later on in this presentation. _______ Source: https://www.nij.gov/topics/crime/rape‐sexual‐violence/campus/Pages/drug‐ facilitated.aspx
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I’d like to now talk a but about criminal penalties b/c I think it is important for you to know and be informed. The mandatory Minimum Sentence on Rape Conviction is a minimum of 5 years Maximum 20 years in Pennsylvania. In addition to this term, if the defendant used any type of intoxicating drug in the commission of this offense, the sentence may be extended for an additional ten years in prison. And please keep in mind that the offender may be male or female!
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Because of this increased period of risk, we want to talk about some ways that you can be an Upstander and not a bystander. This graphic from RAINN lists 4 easy steps that you can take to help protect your friends and classmates: Create a distraction that lessens the intensity of the situation to help diffuse risk or danger Ask directly if a person needs assistance exiting an uncomfortable or dangerous situation Refer to an authority (bouncer, security, even police) Enlist others to help you out in taking any one of these steps. Let’s watch a video exemplifying how you can step in to prevent sexual assault.
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While abuse is never the victims fault, we do want to highlight some important things that you can do to reduce your risk. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS – if your gut is telling you that something is wrong, then believe it! Be aware that the use of drugs and alcohol increase your risk of sexual assault And never leave your drink unattended. It is always a good idea to go to parties and other places like bars and clubs in a group, and to also leave in a group. And lastly, plan ahead to have an escape plan, such as a signal to your friend group, to exit uncomfortable situations. Show video, if time allows, which reiterates what we just talked about.
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What to do if a peer confides in you: First of all, remain calm Always believe in the victim – keep in mind that it isn’t your role to be the investigator and that this is a crime that is rarely fabricated. Next, validate what they’re feeling and meet them where they’re at because it’s likely to be weighing on them a great deal. This can help to empower them to take back the control that they may feel they have lost through their victimization Listen to them and encourage them to seek support, however, if they do not want to, maintain their confidentiality.
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Slide #17 Talk about resources
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Slide #18 NOVA supports and empowers crime victims in Bucks County Support 24‐hours on the hotline Website for further support
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Slide #19 Monday – Friday: 9:00 AM to 7:00 PM Saturday: 9:00 AM to 12:00 PM
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24 Hour Victim Support 624 1-800-675-6900
Bully Prevention Program Evaluation
Visit our website—www.novabucks.org
NOVA’s Education Department consistently seeks to offer programs which are of the highest quality and relevant to those who participate. To assist us in achieving this objective, we would appreciate your completion of this form. Thank you. NOVA Educator __________________________________ Teacher _________________________________________ School _________________________________________ Grade __________ Program Date ____________________ Please indicate your level of agreement to the statements listed below.
Strongly Agree
1. Information presented is valuable for my students. 2. Program provides strategies to reduce bullying. 3. Program supports mutual respect. 4. Program develops positive and proactive teamwork.
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5. As a result of this program, I feel my students will use these skills.
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6. Program is age appropriate.
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8. Participation and interaction were encouraged. 9. Classroom time was used efficiently. 10. The instructor demonstrated sensitivity for potential victims. 11. The instructor offered individual consultation. 12. The program met my expectations. 13. I would recommend this program to other colleagues. 14. I would invite NOVA to return next year. 15. As a result of today’s program, I know how to access NOVA services. Comments:
______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ Please return this evaluation to our host contact in your school.
Thank you for your support!
or Scan and email to: susan.rom ano @novabucks.org or FAX: (215) 343-6260 or Mail to: NOVA 2370 York Rd. Suite B1 Jamison, PA 18929
Please add my name to NOVA’s mailing list: □ Yes! Add my name to NOVA’s mailing list for upcoming trainings.
□ Yes! Add my name to NOVA’s general mailing list for newsletters/events. Name _____________________________________________ email______________________________________________ 9-5-17
24 Hour Victim Support 625 1-800-675-6900
Cyberbullying Prevention Program Evaluation
Visit our website—www.novabucks.org
NOVA’s Education Department consistently seeks to offer programs which are of the highest quality and relevant to those who participate. To assist us in achieving this objective, we would appreciate your completion of this form. Thank you. NOVA Educator __________________________________ Teacher _________________________________________ School _________________________________________ Grade __________ Program Date ____________________ Please indicate your level of agreement to the statements listed below.
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1. Information presented is valuable for my students. 2. Program provides strategies to handle cyberbullying. 3. Program teaches appropriate/responsible digital communication. 4. Program supports digital citizenship.
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5. As a result of this program, I feel my students will use these skills.
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8. Participation and interaction were encouraged. 9. Classroom time was used efficiently. 10. The instructor demonstrated sensitivity for potential victims. 11. The instructor offered individual consultation. 12. The program met my expectations. 13. I would recommend this program to other colleagues. 14. I would invite NOVA to return next year. 15. As a result of today’s program, I know how to access NOVA services. Comments:
______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ Please return this evaluation to our host contact in your school.
Thank you for your support!
or Scan and email to: susan.romano@novabucks.org or FAX: (215) 343-6260 or Mail to: NOVA 2370 York Rd. Suite B1 Jamison, PA 18929
Please add my name to NOVA’s mailing list: □ Yes! Add my name to NOVA’s mailing list for upcoming trainings.
□ Yes! Add my name to NOVA’s general mailing list for newsletters/events. Name ____________________________________________ email ______________________________________________ 9-5-2017
24 Hour Victim Support 626 1-800-675-6900
Digital Footprint Program Evaluation
Visit our website—www.novabucks.org
NOVA’s Education Department consistently seeks to offer programs which are of the highest quality and relevant to those who participate. To assist us in achieving this objective, we would appreciate your completion of this form. Thank you. NOVA Educator __________________________________ Teacher _________________________________________ School _________________________________________ Grade __________ Program Date ____________________ Please indicate your level of agreement to the statements listed below.
Strongly Agree
1. Information presented is valuable for my students. 2. Program develops critical thinking regarding digital content. 3. Program supports ethical decision making. 4. Program promotes positive technology use.
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5. As a result of this program, I feel my students will utilize these behaviors.
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8. Participation and interaction were encouraged. 9. Classroom time was used efficiently. 10. The instructor demonstrated sensitivity for potential victims. 11. The instructor offered individual consultation. 12. The program met my expectations. 13. I would recommend this program to other colleagues. 14. I would invite NOVA to return next year. 15. As a result of today’s program, I know how to access NOVA services. Comments:
______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ Please return this evaluation to our host contact in your school.
Thank you for your support!
or Scan and email to: susan.romano@novabucks.org or FAX: (215) 343-6260 or Mail to: NOVA 2370 York Rd. Suite B1 Jamison, PA 18929
Please add my name to NOVA’s mailing list: □ Yes! Add my name to NOVA’s mailing list for upcoming trainings.
□ Yes! Add my name to NOVA’s general mailing list for newsletters/events. Name ________________________________ email______________________________________________ 9-5-2017
24 Hour Victim Support 1-800-675-6900 627
Gender Bullying Prevention Program Evaluation
Visit our website—www.novabucks.org
NOVA’s Education Department consistently seeks to offer programs which are of the highest quality and relevant to those who participate. To assist us in achieving this objective, we would appreciate your completion of this form. Thank you. NOVA Educator __________________________________ Teacher _________________________________________ School _________________________________________ Grade __________ Program Date ____________________ Please indicate your level of agreement to the statements listed below.
1. Information presented is valuable for my students. 2. Program provides strategies to reduce gender bullying. 3. Program supports mutual respect. 4. Program develops positive teamwork.
Strongly Agree
Agree
Neutral
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
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Somewhat
No
Please indicate your response to the statements listed below.
Yes
5. As a result of this program, I feel my students will use these skills.
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6. Program is age appropriate.
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7. The instructor is knowledgeable about the topic.
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8. Participation and interaction were encouraged. 9. Classroom time was used efficiently. 10. The instructor demonstrated sensitivity for potential victims. 11. The instructor offered individual consultation. 12. The program met my expectations. 13. I would recommend this program to other colleagues. 14. I would invite NOVA to return next year. 15. As a result of today’s program, I know how to access NOVA services. Comments:
______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ Please return this evaluation to our host contact in your school.
Thank you for your support!
or Scan and email to: susan.romano@novabucks.org or FAX: (215) 343-6260 or Mail to: NOVA 2370 York Rd. Suite B1 Jamison, PA 18929
Please add my name to NOVA’s mailing list: □ Yes! Add my name to NOVA’s mailing list for upcoming trainings.
□ Yes! Add my name to NOVA’s general mailing list for newsletters/events. Name ________________________________ email______________________________________________ 9-5-2017
24 Hour Victim Support 1-800-675-6900 628
Harassment Prevention Program Evaluation
Visit our website—www.novabucks.org
NOVA’s Education Department consistently seeks to offer programs which are of the highest quality and relevant to those who participate. To assist us in achieving this objective, we would appreciate your completion of this form. Thank you. NOVA Educator __________________________________ Teacher _________________________________________ School _________________________________________ Grade __________ Program Date ____________________ Please indicate your level of agreement to the statements listed below.
1. Information presented is valuable for my students. 2. Program provides strategies to reduce harassment. 3. Program supports effective assertive skills. 4. Program develops support resources.
Strongly Agree
Agree
Neutral
Strongly Disagree
Disagree
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Somewhat
No
Please indicate your response to the statements listed below.
Yes
5. As a result of this program, I feel my students will use these skills.
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6. Program is age appropriate.
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7. The instructor is knowledgeable about the topic.
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8. Participation and interaction were encouraged. 9. Classroom time was used efficiently. 10. The instructor demonstrated sensitivity for potential victims. 11. The instructor offered individual consultation. 12. The program met my expectations. 13. I would recommend this program to other colleagues. 14. I would invite NOVA to return next year. 15. As a result of today’s program, I know how to access NOVA services. Comments:
______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ Please return this evaluation to our host contact in your school.
Thank you for your support!
or Scan and email to: susan.romano@novabucks.org or FAX: (215) 343-6260 or Mail to: NOVA 2370 York Rd. Suite B1 Jamison, PA 18929
Please add my name to NOVA’s mailing list: □ Yes! Add my name to NOVA’s mailing list for upcoming trainings.
□ Yes! Add my name to NOVA’s general mailing list for newsletters/events. Name ________________________________ Address: home/school ________________________________________________ City _____________________ State _______ Zip ___________ email______________________________________________
7/2014
Member Agency United Way of Bucks County
24 Hour Victim Support 629 1-800-675-6900
Healthy Relationships Program Evaluation
Visit our website—www.novabucks.org
NOVA’s Education Department consistently seeks to offer programs which are of the highest quality and relevant to those who participate. To assist us in achieving this objective, we would appreciate your completion of this form. Thank you. NOVA Educator __________________________________ Teacher _________________________________________ School _________________________________________ Grade __________ Program Date ____________________ Please indicate your level of agreement to the statements listed below.
Strongly Agree
1. Information presented is valuable for my students. 2. Program provides strategies to foster healthy relationships. 3. Program strategies risk reduction. 4. Program offers support resources.
Agree
Neutral
Strongly Disagree
Disagree
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Somewhat
No
Please indicate your response to the statements listed below.
Yes
5. As a result of this program, I feel my students will use these skills.
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6. Program is age appropriate.
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7. The instructor is knowledgeable about the topic.
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8. Participation and interaction were encouraged. 9. Classroom time was used efficiently. 10. The instructor demonstrated sensitivity for potential victims. 11. The instructor offered individual consultation. 12. The program met my expectations. 13. I would recommend this program to other colleagues. 14. I would invite NOVA to return next year. 15. As a result of today’s program, I know how to access NOVA services. Comments:
______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ Please return this evaluation to our host contact in your school.
Thank you for your support!
or Scan and email to: susan.romano@novabucks.org or FAX: (215) 343-6260 or Mail to: NOVA 2370 York Rd. Suite B1 Jamison, PA 18929
Please add my name to NOVA’s mailing list: □ Yes! Add my name to NOVA’s mailing list for upcoming trainings.
□ Yes! Add my name to NOVA’s general mailing list for newsletters/events. Name ________________________________ Address: home/school ________________________________________________ City _____________________ State _______ Zip ___________ email______________________________________________
7/2014
Member Agency United Way of Bucks County
24 Hour Victim Support 1-800-675-6900 630
Internet Safety Program Evaluation
Visit our website—www.novabucks.org
NOVA’s Education Department consistently seeks to offer programs which are of the highest quality and relevant to those who participate. To assist us in achieving this objective, we would appreciate your completion of this form. Thank you. NOVA Educator __________________________________ Teacher _________________________________________ School _________________________________________ Grade __________ Program Date ____________________ Please indicate your level of agreement to the statements listed below.
1. Information presented is valuable for my students. 2. Program provides strategies to stay safe on-line 3. Program supports skills to know how to safe. 4. Program develops positive digital citizenship.
Strongly Agree
Agree
Neutral
Strongly Disagree
Disagree
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Somewhat
No
Please indicate your response to the statements listed below.
Yes
5. As a result of this program, I feel my students will use these skills.
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6. Program is age appropriate.
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7. The instructor is knowledgeable about the topic.
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8. Participation and interaction were encouraged. 9. Classroom time was used efficiently. 10. The instructor demonstrated sensitivity for potential victims. 11. The instructor offered individual consultation. 12. The program met my expectations. 13. I would recommend this program to other colleagues. 14. I would invite NOVA to return next year. 15. As a result of today’s program, I know how to access NOVA services. Comments:
______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ Please return this evaluation to our host contact in your school.
Thank you for your support!
or Scan and email to: susan.romano@novabucks.org or FAX: (215) 343-6260 or Mail to: NOVA 2370 York Rd. Suite B1 Jamison, PA 18929
Please add my name to NOVA’s mailing list: □ Yes! Add my name to NOVA’s mailing list for upcoming trainings.
□ Yes! Add my name to NOVA’s general mailing list for newsletters/events. Name ________________________________ Address: home/school ________________________________________________ City _____________________ State _______ Zip ___________ email______________________________________________
7/2014
Member Agency United Way of Bucks County
24 Hour Victim Support 631 1-800-675-6900
iSmart Program Evaluation
Visit our website—www.novabucks.org
NOVA’s Education Department consistently seeks to offer programs which are of the highest quality and relevant to those who participate. To assist us in achieving this objective, we would appreciate your completion of this form. Thank you. NOVA Educator __________________________________ Teacher _________________________________________ School _________________________________________ Grade __________ Program Date ____________________ Please indicate your level of agreement to the statements listed below.
Strongly Disagree
Strongly Agree
Agree
Neutral
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1. Information presented is valuable for my students. 2. Program strategizes risk reduction using digital technologies. 3. Program supports positive cyber choices. 4. Program develops digital citizenship.
Please indicate your response to the statements listed below.
Yes
Disagree
Somewhat
No
5. As a result of this program, I feel my students will use these skills.
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6. Program is age appropriate.
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7. The instructor is knowledgeable about the topic.
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8. Participation and interaction were encouraged. 9. Classroom time was used efficiently. 10. The instructor demonstrated sensitivity for potential victims. 11. The instructor offered individual consultation. 12. The program met my expectations. 13. I would recommend this program to other colleagues. 14. I would invite NOVA to return next year. 15. As a result of today’s program, I know how to access NOVA services. Comments:
______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ Please return this evaluation to our host contact in your school.
Thank you for your support!
or Scan and email to: susan.romano@novabucks.org or FAX: (215) 343-6260 or Mail to: NOVA 2370 York Rd. Suite B1 Jamison, PA 18929
Please add my name to NOVA’s mailing list: □ Yes! Add my name to NOVA’s mailing list for upcoming trainings.
□ Yes! Add my name to NOVA’s general mailing list for newsletters/events. Name ________________________________ email______________________________________________ 9-5-2017
24 Hour Victim Support 632 1-800-675-6900
Personal Safety Program Evaluation
Visit our website—www.novabucks.org
NOVA’s Education Department consistently seeks to offer programs which are of the highest quality and relevant to those who participate. To assist us in achieving this objective, we would appreciate your completion of this form. Thank you. NOVA Educator __________________________________ Teacher _________________________________________ School _________________________________________ Grade __________ Program Date ____________________ Please indicate your level of agreement to the statements listed below.
1. Information presented is valuable for my students. 2. Program develops skills for risk reduction. 3. Program supports appropriate non-compliance to unsafe requests.
Strongly Agree
Agree
Neutral
Disagree
Strongly Disagree
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Please indicate your response to the statements listed below.
Yes
Somewhat
No
4. As a result of this program, I feel my students will use these skills.
□
□
□
5. Program is age appropriate.
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6. Program promotes resources for support.
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7. The instructor is knowledgeable about the topic.
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8. Participation and interaction were encouraged.
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9. Classroom time was used efficiently.
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10. The instructor demonstrated sensitivity for potential victims.
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11. The instructor offered individual consultation.
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12. The program met my expectations. 13. I would recommend this program to other colleagues. 14. I would invite NOVA to return next year. 15. As a result of today’s program, I know how to access NOVA services. Comments:
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Please return this evaluation to our host contact in your school.
Thank you for your support!
or Scan and email to: susan.romano@novabucks.org or FAX: (215) 343-6260 or Mail to: NOVA 2370 York Rd. Suite B1 Jamison, PA 18929
Please add my name to NOVA’s mailing list: □ Yes! Add my name to NOVA’s mailing list for upcoming trainings.
□ Yes! Add my name to NOVA’s general mailing list for newsletters/events. Name _____________________________________________ email______________________________________________ 9-5-2017
24 Hour Victim Support 1-800-675-6900 633
Sexting Awareness Prevention Program Evaluation
Visit our website—www.novabucks.org
NOVA’s Education Department consistently seeks to offer programs which are of the highest quality and relevant to those who participate. To assist us in achieving this objective, we would appreciate your completion of this form. Thank you. NOVA Educator __________________________________ Teacher _________________________________________ School _________________________________________ Grade __________ Program Date ____________________ Please indicate your level of agreement to the statements listed below.
1. Information presented is valuable for my students. 2. Program provides strategies to reduce sexual harassment. 3. Program supports effective assertive skills. 4. Program develops support resources.
Strongly Agree
Agree
Neutral
Strongly Disagree
Disagree
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Somewhat
No
Please indicate your response to the statements listed below.
Yes
5. As a result of this program, I feel my students will use these skills.
□
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□
6. Program is age appropriate.
□
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□
7. The instructor is knowledgeable about the topic.
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8. Participation and interaction were encouraged. 9. Classroom time was used efficiently. 10. The instructor demonstrated sensitivity for potential victims. 11. The instructor offered individual consultation. 12. The program met my expectations. 13. I would recommend this program to other colleagues. 14. I would invite NOVA to return next year. 15. As a result of today’s program, I know how to access NOVA services. Comments:
______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ Please return this evaluation to our host contact in your school.
Thank you for your support!
or Scan and email to: susan.romano@novabucks.org or FAX: (215) 343-6260 or Mail to: NOVA 2370 York Rd. Suite B1 Jamison, PA 18929
Please add my name to NOVA’s mailing list: □ Yes! Add my name to NOVA’s mailing list for upcoming trainings.
□ Yes! Add my name to NOVA’s general mailing list for newsletters/events. Name ________________________________ Address: home/school ________________________________________________ City _____________________ State _______ Zip ___________ email______________________________________________
7/2014
Member Agency United Way of Bucks County
24 Hour Victim Support 1-800-675-6900 634
Sexual Harassment Prevention Program Evaluation
Visit our website—www.novabucks.org
NOVA’s Education Department consistently seeks to offer programs which are of the highest quality and relevant to those who participate. To assist us in achieving this objective, we would appreciate your completion of this form. Thank you. NOVA Educator __________________________________ Teacher _________________________________________ School _________________________________________ Grade __________ Program Date ____________________ Please indicate your level of agreement to the statements listed below.
1. Information presented is valuable for my students. 2. Program provides strategies to reduce sexual harassment. 3. Program supports effective assertive skills. 4. Program develops support resources.
Strongly Agree
Agree
Neutral
Strongly Disagree
Disagree
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□
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□
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□
Somewhat
No
Please indicate your response to the statements listed below.
Yes
5. As a result of this program, I feel my students will use these skills.
□
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□
6. Program is age appropriate.
□
□
□
7. The instructor is knowledgeable about the topic.
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8. Participation and interaction were encouraged. 9. Classroom time was used efficiently. 10. The instructor demonstrated sensitivity for potential victims. 11. The instructor offered individual consultation. 12. The program met my expectations. 13. I would recommend this program to other colleagues. 14. I would invite NOVA to return next year. 15. As a result of today’s program, I know how to access NOVA services. Comments:
______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ Please return this evaluation to our host contact in your school.
Thank you for your support!
or Scan and email to: susan.romano@novabucks.org or FAX: (215) 343-6260 or Mail to: NOVA 2370 York Rd. Suite B1 Jamison, PA 18929
Please add my name to NOVA’s mailing list: □ Yes! Add my name to NOVA’s mailing list for upcoming trainings.
□ Yes! Add my name to NOVA’s general mailing list for newsletters/events. Name ________________________________ Address: home/school ________________________________________________ City _____________________ State _______ Zip ___________ email______________________________________________
7/2014
Member Agency United Way of Bucks County
24 Hour Victim Support 1-800-675-6900 635
Sexual Violence Prevention Program Evaluation
Visit our website—www.novabucks.org
NOVA’s Education Department consistently seeks to offer programs which are of the highest quality and relevant to those who participate. To assist us in achieving this objective, we would appreciate your completion of this form. Thank you. NOVA Educator __________________________________ Teacher _________________________________________ School _________________________________________ Grade __________ Program Date ____________________ Please indicate your level of agreement to the statements listed below.
1. Information presented is valuable for my students. 2. Program provides strategies to reduce sexual violence 3. Program supports effective assertive skills. 4. Program develops support resources.
Strongly Agree
Agree
Neutral
Strongly Disagree
Disagree
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□
□
□
□
□
□
Somewhat
No
Please indicate your response to the statements listed below.
Yes
5. As a result of this program, I feel my students will use these skills.
□
□
□
6. Program is age appropriate.
□
□
□
7. The instructor is knowledgeable about the topic.
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8. Participation and interaction were encouraged. 9. Classroom time was used efficiently. 10. The instructor demonstrated sensitivity for potential victims. 11. The instructor offered individual consultation. 12. The program met my expectations. 13. I would recommend this program to other colleagues. 14. I would invite NOVA to return next year. 15. As a result of today’s program, I know how to access NOVA services. Comments:
______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ Please return this evaluation to our host contact in your school.
Thank you for your support!
or Scan and email to: susan.romano@novabucks.org or FAX: (215) 343-6260 or Mail to: NOVA 2370 York Rd. Suite B1 Jamison, PA 18929
Please add my name to NOVA’s mailing list: □ Yes! Add my name to NOVA’s mailing list for upcoming trainings.
□ Yes! Add my name to NOVA’s general mailing list for newsletters/events. Name ________________________________ Address: home/school ________________________________________________ City _____________________ State _______ Zip ___________ email______________________________________________
7/2014
Member Agency United Way of Bucks County