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TALKS LIFE AFTER IDOL and How Her Family Plays a Major Role in Her Music Career
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Welcome to
The Magazine for Parents with Teens! Welcome to our Winter Holiday Issue! With the holidays right around the corner, this issue is chock-full of everything you and your family need to know as the temperature drops. When it comes to giving gifts, our article Hot Holiday Gifts for Cool Teens on page 8 features great products, from custom phone cases to glow-in-the-dark t-shirts, making it easy and fun to find something your teen will love at any price. If you are thinking about giving to charity this season, Teaching Teens About Philanthropy on page 6 is a great place to start. Not only will you set a great example for your teen, but you can also deduct cash donations from your taxes. Being charitable is financially smart! Our holiday theme continues in What Are You Doing For The Holidays? on page 19. We asked several families about their holiday traditions, and as expected, they were all unique. If you don’t have holiday traditions of your own, let these stories inspire you to create some! Of course the highlight of our issue profiles American Idol’s Season Twelve contestant Angie Miller. We conducted candid interviews with both Angie and her parents, Guy and Tana, who played a major role in her budding success. They are very open and sincere regarding the ups and downs of being in the limelight. Believe it or not, the winter will not last forever! March will be rolling around soon, and it will be time to plan an exciting spring break trip for your family. We searched programs all around the country to find unusual trips that even your teenagers will love—see page 24. Who wouldn’t want to learn how to surf, cruise on a houseboat or hike in the Grand Canyon? Some of the other “must-reads” in this issue of Life with Teens cover interfaith families, unofficial holidays, and MOOCs. We hope you enjoy our winter issue. Please share it with other parents you know. You can sign up for a free subscription at www.LifeWithTeensMag.com. I welcome your feedback and comments, so please reach out to me!
Marie Schwartz Founder & CEO mschwartz@teenlife.com WINTER 2013 LIFE WITH TEENS
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PUBLISHED BY Life with Teens, Volume II, Issue 2 Winter 2013 is published four times a year by TeenLife Media, LLC, 1330 Beacon St., Suite 268, Brookline, MA 02446, (617) 277-5120, info@teenlife.com, www.teenlife.com. LIMIT OF LIABILITY TeenLife Media, LLC, (TL) does not verify claims or information appearing in any advertisements contained in this magazine. While advertising copy is reviewed, no endorsement of any product or service offered by any advertisement is intended or implied by publication in Life with Teens. No part of this magazine’s editorial content may be reproduced without written consent by TeenLife. TL is not responsible for the accuracy of any description, or for mistakes, errors, or omissions of any kind, or for any loss or damage caused by a user’s reliance on the information contained in this publication. Information is subject to change without notice, and readers are advised to confirm all information about an organization before making any commitments. Trademarks: TeenLife Media, LLC and related trade dress are trademarks or registered trademarks of TeenLife and/or its affiliates in the United States and may not be used without written permission. Copyright © 2013 by TeenLife Media, LLC Published by TeenLife Media, LLC, Brookline, MA
WINTER
2013
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DID YOU KNOW? New groundbreaking stats
MONEY SENSE: The Season of Giving: Teaching Teens About Philanthropy
By Cari Wira Dineen
8
HOT HOLIDAY GIFTS FOR COOL TEENS
10
DREAMING BIG WORKS FOR AMERICAN IDOL CONTESTANT, ANGIE MILLER
By Camille Heidebrecht
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CAMPUS CONNECT: So, What’s the Big Deal About MOOCs?
Matt Robinson and Sophie Borden
19
WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR THE HOLIDAYS? Families and Their Traditions By Vicki Ritterband
SPRING BREAK TRIPS YOUR 24 TEEN WILL LOVE
By Diane Daniel
See her story on page 10.
VIEWPOINTS: 30 When Mom Goes to Shul
and Dad Goes to Mass; Raising Kids in Interfaith Families By Vicki Ritterband
TIMELY TOPIC: 34 Meet Your Donor Dad
By Randi Mazzella
2014 UNOFFICIAL HOLIDAYS TO 36 CELEBRATE ALL YEAR LONG
STAY CONNECTED!
WINTER 2013 LIFE WITH TEENS
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DID YOU
KNOW?
WAY MORE THAN AN APPLE A DAY… APPLE SOLD 33.8 MILLION IPHONES, 14.1 MILLION IPADS, AND 4.6 MILLION MACS IN 2013. HOW MANY WILL CLOSE OUT THE YEAR? Source: TechCrunch, October 2013
BRONNER’S CHRISTMAS WONDERLAND is a retail store in Frankenmuth, Michigan, that deems itself the “World’s Largest Christmas Store.” It is the size of 5 1/2 football fields and has 50,000+ gifts. www.bronners.com
The world’s largest holiday gift was the Statue of Liberty. France gave it to the U.S. in 1886. It’s 151' 1" tall and weighs 225 tons. Source: World Amazing Records
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No Surprise: The top New Year’s resolution is to lose weight. Gyms experience up to a 25% increase in memberships in January, but
4 out of 5 go unused! Source: Statistic Brain
$200
The best gifts are about . In 1989 the best-selling holiday gift was the Game Boy for $189.95. In 2011 the best-selling holiday gift was the Kindle Fire for $199.00. Source: www.thechive.com
This year
THANKSGIVING falls during the celebration of HANUKKAH. The next time the two holidays will overlap is 2070, and then again in 2165. After that it could be thousands of years before the two holidays meet again. Source: TechCrunch, October 2013
THAT’S A HUGE SNOWWOMAN! Residents of Bethel, Maine built a 122' snowwoman over a period of one month, completing her on 2/26/08. No one has challenged since! Source: Guinness Book of World Records WINTER 2013 LIFE WITH TEENS
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SENSE
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The Season of Giving:
Teaching Teens About Philanthropy BY C A R I W I R A DI N E E N
hinking about making a financial donation this holiday season? Your cash contribution can make a big difference—both in someone else’s life as well as your teen’s. “When you donate your money or time, you’re showing your kids that giving back helps to make a well-rounded individual,” says Phillip R. Christenson, a Chartered Financial Analyst and owner of Philip James Financial, a financial planning and investment management company in Plymouth, Minnesota. But before you hand over your cash, here are a few things to consider: Make a Difference. Give because you want to make a change in someone else’s life. Show your children that philanthropy is important; it teaches them the value of money. “You don’t have to be rich to donate money,” says Christenson. “Even small cash donations can be impactful.” Choose a charity. Give because you support a cause. Start by giving to an organization or non-profit that you already support. Then ask around to see if any of your friends and family know of other charities with like-minded goals. Your local church, synagogue, or mosque may work with a charity; there is usually a lot of good that can be done right in your own neighborhood. You can also search the Web for sites like Charity Navigator (www.CharityNavigator.org), which evaluates and rates charities based on financial health and transparency. Of course, you should always do some additional research to make sure the charity you choose is legit. 6
LIFE WITH TEENS WINTER 2013
Once you settle on a non-profit, call them and ask some questions: How long have you been operating? What percentage of the donations are contributed to the donees? Is the charity supported by volunteers? (You want to make sure your money is going to those who need it and not to pay the founders’ salaries). Cash in on benefits. While making a charitable contribution can help improve the world, it can also reduce your tax bill. “You can deduct cash donations from your taxes, so long as you itemize your taxes,” says Christenson. Just be sure to write a check or get a receipt for your own records. In addition to cash, you can also give appreciated stock from your portfolio. “You can claim the market value of the stock and avoid paying capital gains,” says Christenson. Check your contribution with your tax professional so they can affirm that you and the beneficiary get the maximum benefit out of your gifts. The holidays are an especially great time to teach teens about how and why to donate. “It gets them thinking outside of their own teenage world, makes them feel helpful, builds confidence, and just feels good,” concludes Denise Winston, financial expert and author of Money Starts Here! Your Practical Guide to Survive and Thrive in Any Economy. But, the benefits don’t stop there. Studies show that teens who donate time or money even have higher grades. Another holiday bonus!
keeps their ‘playground’ knowledge in that 87 percent of teens that watched check.” MTV’s Teen Mom and 16 and PregYou can also argue that realnant actually felt that these shows Teaching teens to give. Team up. ity shows bring significant attention educated them about, rather than While most teens typically don’t have Agree to match any funds that your to apeople problemscash, often not glamorized, the consequences of being lot of and expendable teaching teen is able to raise to help boost her presented in regular mainstream TV, parent. your teen to give back now sets him a young efforts and donation. You can also inas up welltoasbepresent useful information philanthropic over the course volve your kids in your family’s chariforofteens. Flip life. the channels using reality tv to your his adult Remind and youryou’ll teen table giving decision making, suggests find people of diverse backgrounds that even a modest contribution can Advantage Michael Montgomery, a philanthropy andhave belief systems, and those battling When it comes to startingConsultconvera major impact. consultant at Montgomery very prevalent social problems. sations with teens around reality TV, ing in Huntington Woods, Michigan. Shows like The Biggest Loser FamiDr. Richard Weissbourd, a Harvard The concept of spend, “Budget an amount each year for ly Edition and causes authorand of The Parents save, presents give. important informa- psychologist giving to new assign each tion on diet and exercise; Intervention We Mean to Be (Harper Books, Whenever your child earns money— kid in your family the task of2010), finding, highlights many teen success parents to focusthe on case how for either through a job, a gift,stories or allow- encourages researching, and making in ance—suggest the battle against alcohol and drug their children are digesting what that he or she spends supporting a specific group,” hethey says. abuse; and The Little People portrays a are watching and to aim for an undersome, saves some and donates some. family navigating the same everyday standing of their children’s emotional Give the gift of charity. issues as most families, except they experiences with the content. “If this Have your teen volunteer As part of their holiday presents areduring diagnosed with dwarfi sm. you have a child who gets excited break. year, consider giving your teen aby And not all reality TV is aspirasomeone gettingcard humiliated on Idol, During their holiday break, have Razoo e-gift (www.razoo.com/ tional. In 2010, a major study by the you want to discuss that,” he says.lets them actually work at a non-profit. gift_cards/orders/new), which National Campaign to Prevent Teen Dr. Steiner-Adair recommends asking This will show them first-hand the your teen make a charitable donation andimportance UnplannedofPregnancy found questions and making statements saving and giving. to any charity he or she likes.
Here are some charitable giving tips for your teen:
designed to help teens “deconstruct the messages they are getting” and alsoDonate plant ideas and phrases that while they shop. theyPlanG can use in their own lives. lets your teen deposit“The grown-ups who are theaccount most eff(www. ective money to a PlanG are myPlanG.com) the ones who getand in there and are then choose not where too intense and not too judgmento direct the funds from more tal,”than she says. one million causes listed. Even The process can be awkward better, when you or your teenand shops imperfect. Adrienne L. doesn’t through their online mall, a expect portion to always it right,isbut she tries. of eachget purchase placed into the “I don’t think I can undo everything account. For example, Macy’s is the offering media does, butdonation, I think I have a a 4.7% Old Navy/ responsibility as a parent. What we Banana Republic/Gap is offering learn and and whatBath our & values starts2.5%. in 3.2%, Bodyare Works our Again, home.”teens can determine which The good news is to that the LWT charity they’d like donate. popularity of reality TV gives parents many chances. “It’s about building a series of mini-moments of small connection that add up over time,” Dr. Steiner-Adair says. “Teens need to hear over and over from parents what’s real and what’s not real.” LWT
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WINTER 2013 LIFE WITH TEENS
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HOT FOR
COOL TEENS Remember when it was easy—and enjoyable—to go holiday shopping for your son or daughter? To make your life a little simpler, we did some online window shopping and came up with a short list of some pretty cool gift ideas.
1. Create a custom cell phone case for your daughter in all sorts of fun patterns and color combinations. Then add her name on the back along with her e-mail address or an alternate contact number in case she loses this lovely gift. Under $25 www.namebubbles.com
1.
2. They’re electronic device cases made from beautiful lowtech wood. WOODCHUCK cases allow teens to custom engrave whatever they like onto the case: a school mascot, favorite band, sports team, or just their name. Or keep the case plain and let the beauty of the wood shine through. Phone cases start at $20. www.woodchuckcase.com
2.
3. Your teen can wake up in the morning (or afternoon) to a personalized message on his or her pillowcase, like “Good Morning Beautiful” or “Dream Big.” They’re 100% cotton and under $20. www.uppercases.net
4. Jam™ Plus Bluetooth® Speakers connect wirelessly, from up to 30 feet away to a Bluetooth-friendly device. They’re small—3"x3"x3"— and come in different colors. Pair two of them for stereo sound. $59.99 www.hmdxaudio.com
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LIFE WITH TEENS WINTER 2013
3. 4.
5. WallMonkey decals come in
5.
literally millions of shapes and sizes, from sports silhouettes to famous artists’ masterpieces. You can also upload your teenager’s favorite image and turn it into a life-sized decal. They’re durable, removable, and reusable. $19.99 $54.99 www.wallmonkeys.com
6. A good stocking stuffer: HICKIES is a fun lacing system that replaces shoelaces with colorful one-size-fits-all elastics. They not only look cool but also turn any pair of shoes into slip-ons, for teens on the go. $20 www.hickies.com
6.
7. Goodbye brown paper bags. The monbento bento box is a dishwasher-safe lunch box alternative with two airtight containers and an adjustable separator, secured by a wide elastic strap to ensure food arrives at school intact. $36 us.monbento.com/en
8. File this one under “Life of the Party.” It’s called Glow Threads, and it’s a UV light laser shirt. Flick off the lights, than create temporary graffiti by touching the mini UV light and/or a UV laser to the shirt. Less than a minute later the design is gone and you can start anew. Under $25 www.cgets.com
SEE THE VIDEO
7. SEE THE VIDEO
SEE THE VIDEO
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9. For the teenager who eschews wallets because they are too bulky, Tight Wallets are teenyweeny and made from soft Italian leather and elastic. In the words of the company, “They respect the silhouette of the butt.” $34 www.tightstore.com
10. Leave one for Santa with his
SEE THE VIDEO
9.
cookies and milk. Your teens can also dunk their Oreos in style with the dipr, a spoon that keeps your cookie safe and your fingers clean. At $2.99 a pop, buy one in every color. www.thedipr.com
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READ ON MOBILE DEVICE
Works for American Idol Contestant,
BY CAM ILLE HEIDEBRECHT
From the minute I stepped into Angie Miller’s home, I quickly realized that this is not just a story about Angie, but a story about the entire Miller family. The American Idol contestant’s family is warm, welcoming, and dynamic—not to mention, they’re all extremely talented musicians. Mother Tana sings, father Guy plays piano, and brother Jon rocks the drums in his own metal band. I can now appreciate how her family’s influence impacted her performances on the show’s twelfth season. Her talent as a young singer/songwriter with her original lyrics and angelic voice made her a fan favorite from the start. Here’s what Angie had to say about her experience on Idol, how she overcame not making it to the finale, and what’s next for this budding star. Her more-than-supportive parents, of course, weigh in too.
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When did you decide that you wanted to compete to be the next American Idol? Tell me about the audition process. I had been watching the show since Season Two—and ever since then I knew I wanted to try out someday. Right after I graduated [high school], I heard that auditions were going to be in Newark. I thought, Why not? I remember the dates vividly. My mom and I traveled to New Jersey on June 21st, and the auditions were two days later. We woke up at 3 a.m. on the 23rd—there were already 500+ people and probably about 7,000 by the time auditions started. But right from the start it almost felt like they singled me out. One camera guy just popped up and said, “You, sing for me right now.” I was actually one of the first contestants to say “Welcome to American Idol on TV!” Only about 40 of us were invited to go on to Hollywood.
One of the best parts of watching the show is seeing contestants make it. Tell me how you felt when you were handed your “golden ticket”? Because I had been watching the show for so many years, I always saw how excited the contestants were when they heard “You’re going to Hollywood!” But when it was actually me, I kept thinking, We all knew this was a possibility. What just happened? Did I just make it? Yes, this is reality! Truthfully, right at that moment, I couldn’t believe it was real life. My best friend was there and my mom; it was so emotional. You won America’s heart with your original song, You Set Me Free, to make it to the Top 20 girls. Afterwards, you received 3.7 million YouTube hits. What was the inspiration for that song? I wrote it about two months before Hollywood week. It was definitely a scary time for me. I had been accepted to three colleges with music scholarships, but I chose to do Idol. I knew a new chapter of my life was starting, but I was definitely questioning my decision, especially if I didn’t make it past Hollywood. During those months, I decided to write, practice songs, and build up social media. That’s when I wrote You Set Me Free. It’s about new beginnings. A fresh start. It’s about being set free from the weight you carry during hard times. About doing American Idol. I didn’t even know if it was a good song, but all four judges stood up!
I learned how to act in the limelight—and perform on a stage. Now I am on my way. What was the best advice you received from one of the judges? At one point the judges really started appreciating me as an artist and recognized who I wanted to be. They told me to stay at the piano—that was the singer/songwriter Angie to go after. And Mariah Carey told me that writing music was one of my best assets—to keep doing it. A lot of artists don’t write their own lyrics. I think it’s important for me to sing my own words. What did you learn about yourself while competing on the show? I had no experience, no real vocal training. I had not been in front of a camera or musically found my sound. I didn’t even know how to talk to people. I learned how to act in the limelight— and perform on a stage. Now I am on my way.
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During the finale, you hit the stage alongside your personal idols Jessie J and Adam Lambert, runner up from Season Eight. What did you learn from performing with them? First of all, they were both so kind and humble. It felt really comforting to know that they can make it that far and still be so genuine. It made performing with them easier. I mean Jesse J rocks a beat. And Adam’s voice, impressive. They both told me not to be afraid to break out of my shell a little bit and show personality on stage, but to also, always, be Angie Miller. One thing they both told me was to never let the music drown me out. I pay attention to that now. Your elimination in the Top 3 was deemed “shocking” in the media. How did you overcome the realization that you would not be in the finale? When my name was called, of course, I was devastated. I wanted to be in the finale, even win. I kept thinking, What did I do wrong? My mom came up on stage to hug me. But I remember once that show ended, I wanted to be alone for a bit, regroup. I took two hours by myself. Soon after that, I realized it was perfect for me. I was so glad to be on the show, but now I had the time to write my own music and a chance to develop my own style as an artist. Your entire family dons a tattoo with the motto “Dream Big”— and your Twitter followers are called the #dreamers. How did this catch on? I love this question. It was probably a year before Idol, and I was just always telling myself to Dream Big. It became 100% my motto. I had it tattooed on the back of my neck. It sort of became my thing, like a brand, and it took off. My fans jumped on board. And a week later, my entire family got a tattoo. “Dream Big” is just easy and adaptable and now my fans are the #dreamers.
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Things You Didn’t Know About Angie Miller! 1. My favorite Idol is Jessie J. 2. My brother, Jon, rocks the drums in his own band Exiting the Fall, which just hit the Top 10 metal charts with their album Windchaser. 3. My best friend, Lydia Hester, and I love to post hilarious videos of us singing, dancing, and just being weird on our YouTube channel LYDandANG. 4. My favorites: Chocolate, the color black, and all of Tori Kelly’s music. 5. Starbucks or Dunkin’? STARBUCKS no brainer! And it helps that I get everything there free because all of my friends work there. 6. I want to go to Disney with my family for the first time for Christmas. Hint Hint. 7. The first song I ever wrote was “Little Little Sparkle Dress” at age 4. Since then, I’ve written about 30 original songs. 8. When I was little, I liked the sound of my cat sneezing. I imitated it and now I sneeze like a cat. 9. In high school, I acted in Will Rogers Follies, My Fair Lady, and Thoroughly Modern Mille. 10. During my time on Idol, my school blew me away. Their support was more than I could ever imagine!
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You mentioned that since the show, you feel like you are coming into your own. Describe what you mean? Yes, I am definitely finding myself. The show is so rushed and crazy, and then you go on the tour. You perform your butt off for 30 shows. Now I have time to think about what songs I think are cool, what sounds I like, and what I want to sing about. I think being in the studio has really helped me find my style musically. What advice would you give other teens who are pursuing their dream? I think teenagers are so wrapped up in what people think. And with social media, they are constantly being judged. I would tell teens to always have something to focus on, and be passionate about it. For girls, especially, I would tell them to understand that confidence is a beautiful thing. I struggled with self-confidence at
16 and it was a process. Then one day, I just woke up and decided, you know what, I don’t care what other people think. What recognition do you want to give your family for influencing your success? Without my family, music wouldn’t be a part of me. My mom was always singing around me. My dad brought music and piano into our church. We all sang together. My brother helped me appreciate the sound of instruments, and the authentic sound of a real band. What’s in store for Angie in the near future? In five years? Stay tuned for my new Download Angie’s Christmas single available on Single! iTunes. I am performing with Michael W. Smith on his Celebrate Christmas tour. I can’t wait to release my first album. Go on a world tour. In five years, I want to be on the road, be in a blockbuster movie, acting, singing, doing all of it! Dream Big, right?
Tana & Guy speak candidly about Angie’s success. When did you first discover Angie’s knack for singing? Tana: At five, she would sing all around the house and I would think, most five-year-olds go off key, and she never goes off key. She just really had natural ability at an early age. She actually recorded her first album in a little studio on Cape Cod. It had three songs. She wrote the first two herself, 11 Going On 12 and Wonderful to Me. The other was a cover of Jesus Take the Wheel by Carrie Underwood. It was really cute; she had her first homemade CD that we gave to family and friends. Tell me how you have influenced her singing over the years? Tana: I never really had any formal vocal training besides chorus in school, but one music teacher I had taught me breathing techniques, which I passed along to Angie. From ages 15 to 18, I was also part of several summer youth touring groups. I even recorded my first album of 10 original songs at 18! Now, this is not supposed to be about me, but I passed these small stories of being on the road, performing, and recording on to her. Guy: At one point, the judges kept picking on Angie for enunciating her words too clearly. Tana, also a Reverend, taught her that what you’re singing has to be heard or what’s the point? Angela adopted that; she sings with clarity. So, did Angie learn the piano from Guy? Guy: Surprisingly I only started playing piano at 33. It not only became a personal interest, but also professional. As a Pastor I wanted to learn the basics, to be able to “talk music,” and bring it into my church. And once I
started playing piano, I just fell in love. I didn’t really teach Angie; she started to pick it up. Although we both had some lessons, she was pretty much self-taught; the ability was innate in her. I read that at a very young age Angie suffered hearing loss. How did that impact her on the show? Tana: When she was about three, I would call her from another room and she wouldn’t come. She had 40% hearing loss in her left ear, 20% in her right. She had two tubal operations, but she eventually needs surgery to protect her eardrum. I only noticed it affect her a few times during Idol. The very first song she sang with a band on stage, she couldn’t hear herself and went off key. I cringed. Like I said, Angie never goes off key. On Idol, you have to wear in-ear monitors; she could only wear one, which is a slight disadvantage, but nothing she really wants to dwell on. What surprised you most about your daughter while watching the show? Guy: I always knew my daughter was musically talented and had the voice, but I had no idea she had such incredible stage presence. She never mentioned that she was nervous. She really owned the stage with tremendous poise. And once she sang You Set Me Free, I think she knew, “I can do this.” How can parents support, encourage and help foster their teen’s “Big Dream”? Tana: Of course you have to let your child make their own decisions— especially at 17 or 18. But I think it’s important that you, as a parent,
are also realistic with them. If I didn’t believe 100% that Angie could make it to the Top 10, I would probably have encouraged her to look more seriously at college. Again, she had to make the ultimate choice; you never want them to place blame on you. Guy: I’d like to remind parents and teens that dreams are truly attainable for anyone. Angela’s talent and confidence came from her family and her faith way before being on the show. How do you help your children accept that losing is often a large part of winning? Guy: Some parents today raise their kids too protected from bad feelings or competition, but that’s how they learn. They have to see you acknowledge failing, too; they know we all have bad moments. If they grow up afraid to fail, they’ll also grow up afraid to dream. Tana: I think she was prepared. She had been through it so many times, not coming in first. In 2011, she competed in the National Fine Arts Festival and came in seventh. A year before Idol, she competed in Cape Cod Star; and to our disbelief, took second. But when she wanted to do Idol, it showed courage to compete yet again. Every year since she was a little girl, she’d say Mommy, “I want to go on that Top 10 Tour” and she finally did! Her accomplishments far outweigh any place. And she knows that. We are all very proud. LWT WINTER 2013 LIFE WITH TEENS
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SO WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL
WITH MOOCS? B Y MA TT RO B I NS O N A ND S O PH I E BO R DE N
hether it’s just an educational fad or truly a progressive movement in higher education, the vast number of MOOCs—Massive Open Online Courses—available continues to be a phenomenon. Simply put, MOOC combine the traditional classroom setting that we are all accustomed to with 21st century technology and the Internet. Typical MOOCs incorporate lectures, videos, YouTube, online student groups, and sometimes social grading. They are marketed to be innovative and fun, but also a useful way to gain new skills. What makes them so alluring is the fact that MOOCs are open to anyone from all over the World. The big deal is, they are big! They offer a wide range of subjects and disciplines, and most are completely cost free. Although many MOOCs are associated with colleges, even the Ivy’s, it is important to distinguish MOOCs from typical online classes offered by a university or online college, such as the University of Phoenix. MOOCs do not replace a college education, as you cannot earn a degree. But many MOOCs offer Certificates of Achievement for those who meet all of the course’s benchmarks. 16
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The Major Players Online courses from edX, Udacity, and Coursera are probably the most well known, each offering some very distinctive characteristics. edX started as a non-profit collaboration between Harvard and MIT, but has added other university partners from all around the country, such as Cornell, Rice, and Georgetown. Each edX course is offered for a designated amount of time and is divided into weekly segments, each of which includes its own video lectures, required reading, and assignments. Weekly class times range from 5 - 20 hours. The president of edX, Anant Agarwal, taught the first edX engineering course from MIT with an enrollment of 155,000 students from 162 countries, reaching more students than ever imaginable. Udacity started with an emphasis on STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math), but has recently expanded to include many other subjects. Unlike EdX, Udacity courses do not start or end on any particular date and do not follow a schedule. This self-paced curriculum is ideal for students who need extra time or might be working while completing classwork. The major distinction for Coursera is that it not only links students to each other, but also to future employers.
This makes them extremely attractive for both students and parents who want to hone their career skills and network. Plus, Coursera offers the option to audit classes. Advantages of MOOCs for High School Students Whether a teen takes a MOOC out of curiosity, wants to test-drive a college course, or start on their career path, they will inevitably reap some benefits. Because MOOCs are designed and taught by qualified professors, often modeling a traditional college curriculum, they allow a teen to experience the rigor and style of a college class. MOOCs are also the perfect option for teens that want to explore majors or career paths before they enter college. They allow students to figure out where their future interests lie. Many MOOCs are also in niche subjects, such as, public speaking and American poetry. Most classes are cost free, and can be completed at an individual’s own pace. Therefore, if students decide they do not want to complete the class, or are not interested in the topic, they can opt out for the remainder of the course. Or come back to it later. Several aspects of MOOCs are centered around social media. Not only can teens access their courses on their smartphones or YouTube, but they can become active participants on their community pages on Facebook, as well as follow relevant Tweets. This allows students to interact and learn from some of the best professors in the world and engage with other students without leaving home. 18
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What the Critics Say MOOCs are often criticized for their lack of authenticity. Many professors believe that a true learning experience cannot be achieved when the human element of education is taken out of the equation. Many understandably argue that YouTube is not as effective as a classroom. Although professors initially design the classes, the quality of instructors is often questioned. Some MOOCs allow students to serve as instructors and peer reviewers, even grading other students’ work. It raises the question of whether a student is a qualified teacher. While the lack of cost for many MOOCs is a huge advantage for many students, it also increases the dropout rate. Students can try courses and never finish without financial repercussions. One study reported that the dropout rate for MOOCs is as high as 90 percent! And while MOOCs are accessible to anyone in the world with a computer and Internet connection, a large majority of MOOC students are educated and living in First World countries. These students already have the means and access to education other than online classes, which takes away from their “global” appeal. Tweaked Online Learning MOOCs can be a great learning tool for the cost, accessibility, and network—and can provide an interesting alternative to the traditional classroom setting. However, like any new technology, MOOCs have to evolve before students can take advantage of their full potential. Not to mention gain respect among educators.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR THE HOLIDAYS? Families and Their Traditions By Vicki Ritterband
WINTER 2013 LIFE WITH TEENS
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hether they’re the source of great memories or the object of resistance, family traditions around the holidays are a big part of the celebration. But sometimes, as kids hit the teenage years, they start grumbling. “Rituals need to stay alive by changing as the family changes,” says Evan Imber-Black, Ph.D., the co-author of Ritual for Our Time. “When kids hit adolescence, you have to start to inquire about their preferences. Sometimes they may want to include a friend, for example. If the ritual can’t flex, it’s going to be boring and rigid.” What if your family has no traditions, but you yearn for them? Can you create them from scratch? You probably have some sort of groundwork in place. Collect stories from various family members. You might find that there is a tradition from long ago that you can bring back. We interviewed a wide range of families about their holiday traditions. Here are their stories.
A Hanukkah Play
The Gingerbread House
Judy H. Basking Ridge, NJ Three daughters, ages 15–21
Maureen R. Andover, MA Son, age 20; Daughter, age 22
We have a few different traditions. For starters, on one of the eight nights of Hanukkah, we do something for people in need—collect toys for less-fortunate families through a Letters to Santa program, collect food for a food bank… During the other nights, we listen to Hanukkah music and play dreidel. My mother-in-law used to buy us a unique dreidel every year. But what makes our celebration truly different is that we enjoy reading Hanukkah books and always re-enact the story in one of our favorites, like Hershel and the Hanukkah Goblins. All of the family is involved in the play. Because my mom is never around during Hanukkah, we always call her to light the menorah and sing with her during the play. Because times change, we now video chat.
Every year for the past 17, we do a gingerbread house decorating party with my kids and all of the nieces and nephews. I used to bake the houses, but once it got to be 10 kids, I started buying them. Now we have 16—ages 5 to 22—who live all over, but we have 100% participation every year. I clear out one room and put paper down on the floor. They are shoulder-to-shoulder and can barely move, but they don’t want to be in separate rooms. They want to be together. I think it’s as much fun as Christmas Day. I have one brother who takes it upon himself to judge each house. Of course, they all win, every single one. He’ll say, “OK, and for the best roof…” Then the entire crowd will accept or deny his judgment. Other categories include the best door, best use of Skittles, best walkway, etc. My 20-year-old son last year won the “best reusable.” He decorated his entire house with leftover candy wrappers. I hope my kids carry on the tradition, too. To us, it represents family.
Other Fun Family Traditions
• Give family pajamas on Christmas Eve that everyone wears on Christmas Day. • Create a family ornament that signifies a life event from the past year. • Have a latke taste-off: Each family member tries a different latke recipe, and everyone votes for their favorite! • Go “Elfing”: Drop off candy or a fun package at a friend or family member’s doorstep with clues to who the Elf might be. • Make Easy Chocolate Holiday Fudge every year. Recipe on page 36.
The Quirky Girl Gift Thea D. Medway, MA College Student, 21
An Untraditional Tree Greg L. Millburn, NJ Three boys, ages 5–13 What started as a mistake turned into an enduring family tradition way back when I was 10. Ever since I can remember, my mom was always particular about her tree. She wanted it to be big, beautiful, and full. Even if it took an entire day, we would drive to several Christmas tree farms to find the perfect real tree. She was pretty relentless, not to mention that we all had to agree. So, this one Christmas we got the tree home, and to her disappointment it was perfectly full, but too tall for our living room. My dad did what dads do; he cut a little off the bottom, but it still didn’t fit. So he decided to cut some off of the top. We all thought it was funny that her perfect tree now looked like it was growing through the roof. But once she decorated it, she decided she liked the effect—and the joke. So now every year, more than 30 years later, this tradition is still going strong. My parents are still cutting off the top of the tree. Now my kids and all of my nieces and nephews (23 in total) get a kick out of Grandma’s tree. They even keep it up until March and deliberately turn off the heat in that room to keep it looking fresh! I am the second youngest of seven, so holidays together are extremely important to my family— especially Christmas. Christmas is the only time we all see each other; it’s pretty special.
I have a big Italian-American family sprinkled across the East Coast from Boston to D.C. Christmas is the one time of year we’re guaranteed to get all 32 of us in the same place. Of course there are a number of traditions we celebrate during the holidays, but one of my favorites is the yearly quirky girl gift. There are seven girl cousins ranging from 17 to 32. Every year my aunt buys us all matching gifts with a corny twist. One year it was Mrs. Claus fuzzy socks, another it was handmade candy cane hats, another Christmas light earrings. Each year we pass around the gifts to the girls, open them ceremoniously, and then get forced into a goofy picture. I don’t remember how the tradition started—only that every year we look forward to opening what she bought. We all get a few good laughs; it’s just a little cousin fun!
Making Tamales Lupe T. San Jose, CA Four daughters, ages 12–23 Our tradition is Mexican. A couple of days before Christmas, we make tamales—a lot of them! I get everything prepared beforehand— the masa (dough), chili, meat and pineapple, and coconut for the dulce (sweet) ones. We place all of the ingredients in the middle of the kitchen table and make an assembly line—two people spreading, two people folding, and me at the pot, steaming each one of them. We make about 10 dozen each year, and I send everyone home with them. There’s nothing more fun than getting messy together as a family. It’s sometimes hard to find the time and get everyone on board, but I tell my kids, “This is the day we’re doing it. I expect everyone home. And we will smile and enjoy it.” Although this tradition is not from my childhood, I wanted to bring it back, because it was something my grandmother did. LWT WINTER 2013 LIFE WITH TEENS
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LIFE WITH TEENS WINTER 2013
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Y OU R T E E N W I L L L O V E These days, families traveling together on spring break want to experience new environments and connect over shared activities, from whale watching and houseboat cruising to hiking, biking, and defying gravity. To help get you started, we’ve compiled a list of some of our favorite adventures that your teens are sure to enjoy, too. B Y D IANE D ANIEL
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Island hop in British Columbia Set sail and explore Gulf Islands National Park Reserve in British Columbia, Canada on the 92-foot Maple Leaf, an expedition tall ship. In BC’s warm Gulf Islands just north of Seattle, you and your teen will cruise with a small group from island to island in this protected inland sea, one of the most ecologically sensitive natural regions in southern Canada. You’ll see wildlife, such as marine mammals patrolling the water and migrating birds feeding in coves and bays, as well as beautiful landscapes and wildflower meadows. Ashore, you’ll visit wild beaches and rainforests and hike up to spectacular vistas. The expedition guides offer activities including kayaking, Zodiac rides, beachcombing, and sailing and navigation education. You might even try your hand at steering the 95-ton schooner. Departures from Victoria, BC, on April 1, 7, 19. Custom dates on request. $1,450 to $2,090 per person. Contact (250) 386-7245, www.mapleleafadventures.com.
Wrangle up some fun in Florida Be a cowboy without roughing it at Westgate River Ranch Resort, the largest dude ranch east of the Mississippi and birthplace of the American cowboy. Only an hour south of Orlando, the resort feels like another world, away from the hustle and bustle of theme parks. Westgate lies on 1,700 beautiful acres—some of the same land those first cowboys roamed in the early 1700s—and is surrounded by 400,000 acres of protected wetlands. For something different, try “glamping,” or glamorous camping. The spacious safari-style canvas tents are set on platforms and are even equipped with portable heating and air conditioning, and a private bathroom. Lodges and cabins are also available. Families will enjoy the nightly rodeo, horseback riding, mechanical bull, swamp buggy and airboat rides, a bungee trampoline, ziplines, and more. About $500 a night for a family of four. Contact (863) 692-1321, www.westgatedestinations.com/ florida/westgate-river-ranch. WINTER 2013 LIFE WITH TEENS
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Surf’s up on Cocoa Beach Hang ten while you’re hanging out with the family at Ron Jon Surf School on Cocoa Beach, on Florida’s East Coast. Private lessons are available anytime, but a special five-day spring break camp in March takes place every morning. Groups are divided by age and ability, and all ages are welcome. If surfing isn’t your thing, you can try kite boarding or stand-up paddle boarding. When you’re ready to come ashore, visit Space Shuttle Atlantis, 30 minutes north at the Kennedy Space Center, from which all shuttles were launched. The new $100 million attraction includes 60 interactive exhibits and high-tech simulators. Just like the astronauts, once your shuttle flight is finished, it’s time to hit the water again. Surf camp, March 24-28, $199 a person ($160 per person for groups of four or more). Contact (321) 868-1980, www.ronjonsurfschool.com Space Shuttle Atlantis $50 adults and teens. Contact (877) 572-6401, www.kennedyspacecenter.com
Creatures big and bigger in Baja California, Mexico For a whale of a good time, join the Gray Whale and Sea Turtle Conservation Adventure in Baja California, Mexico, organized by RED Sustainable Travel. On this five-day outing, you’ll experience the wonder of gray whales in scenic Magdalena Bay, where the animals come to mate and give birth to their calves before returning north to the Bering Sea. Participants also will take part in a black sea turtle conservation program recognized around the world as a model for community-based conservation, to set nets and capture, measure, tag, and release sea turtles. There’s also time to explore the mangrove channels by kayak, hike across virgin sand dunes to the Pacific, and enjoy local gourmet cuisine. Departures from La Paz on Feb. 5, 23, 27, March 7. $1,550 per person. www.redtravelmexico.com 26
LIFE WITH TEENS WINTER 2013
How to give your teens some space
Create your own cruise on a houseboat Combine water, scenery, and lodging by renting a houseboat. Every houseboating lake and river in North America is different, so choose a destination, and a boat, that best suits your needs. You can even rent personal watercraft, motorboats, skis, or kayaks to take along. The experts at Houseboating. org, who represent dozens of boats at more than 30 locations, suggest spring break travelers would find the warmest waters at Lake Amistad in southern Texas, featuring limestone cliffs and sandy beaches; St. Johns River in central Florida, where you’ll float through conservation land and likely see manatees; and, further south, Sanibel and Captiva Islands on the Gulf of Mexico, where you can kayak, snorkel, and swim. A large portion of Sanibel is a national wildlife refuge and is notable for its many species of birds, including pelicans, and the unofficial state bird—the pink flamingo. Rentals are about $200 to $900 a night, depending on boat, location, and length of rental. Contact (888) 454-8825, www.houseboating.org.
If you’ve wondered what it’s like to take control of a space mission or see your teen train to be a fighter pilot, the Space Camp Family Program is the place for you. The camp takes place at the U.S. Space and Rocket Center, the museum of NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center in Huntsville, AL. This NASA center runs the civilian rocketry and spacecraft propulsion research center. The program also includes rocket construction and astronaut simulators, such as the 1/6th Gravity Chair, where you experience weightlessness. In the fighter-pilot training segment, you’ll learn take-off and landing techniques in fighter-jet simulations, and experience water landing in the Helo-Dunker at the center’s manmade lake. The camp runs most weekends year-round. $1,200 to $1,400 for a family of four, including dorm and meals, for three or four days. Contact (800) 637-7223, www.spacecamp.com.
Falling for the Grand Canyon For active families with teens, a hike to and around stunning Havasu Falls is the perfect way to enjoy each other’s company and the spectacular scenery at this Grand Canyon gem. You’ll be treated to turquoise water, plunging waterfalls (50 to 200 feet tall), swimming holes, desert wildlife, lush vegetation, cultural history, and scenic Grand Canyon hiking. The best part? The guides with outfitter Wildland Trekking Co. will make a comfortable camp for you, whip up your backcountry meals, and provide pack mules to carry your overnight gear. Travelers can choose between Wildland’s regular three- and four-day hikes and their specially designed four-day spring break trips that increase the capacity to 18 guests and three guides, allowing multiple family members to join the fun. Departures from Flagstaff on multiple spring dates. $850 to $1,030 per person, depending on trip type and length. Contact (900) 715-4453, www.wildlandtrekking.com. WINTER 2013 LIFE WITH TEENS
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Follow “Hunger Games” action in Atlanta Fans of all ages can bring out their inner Katniss and Peeta by walking in the footsteps of those and other characters in the film The Hunger Games: Catching Fire. Much of the sequel to the wildly popular original was filmed in and around Atlanta, and Hunger Games Unofficial Fan Tours and Atlanta Movie Tours have joined to offer full-day and weekend trips to explore film locations. Stops include The Swan House, which served as the home of President Snow and appeared in the Victory Tour Capitol Party scenes, and Goat Farm Arts Center, which stood in for “District 12” and was the setting for the Reaping for the Quarter Quell, the beating of Gale, and the train arrival from the victory tour. Adventure Weekends, which include lodging and meals, expand the fun to offer hands-on activities like archery, food that your favorite characters would have experienced, and a gala banquet. You’ll also have the chance to use your newly learned survival skills in your own games simulation. Day Tours $94, Adventure Weekends $549. Contact (855) 668-4332, www.hungergamesunofficialfantours.com.
Join the low riders in Death Valley From your base at the elegant Inn at Furnace Creek, your family can enjoy the beauty of the California desert during Backroads’ four-day Death Valley Bike Tour. Using routes following gentle terrain, you’ll cycle past multicolored rock formations and beautiful panoramas, and even ride across salt flats to the lowest point in the United States—282 feet below sea level. An optional hill climb to dramatic Dante’s View is offered to adults. When you’re off the bike, you’ll have time to explore Sahara-style sand dunes and visit the Death Valley National Park Visitor Center. And when it’s time to cool down, enjoy the resort’s spring-fed pool. Backroads also offers springtime family biking tours in Hawaii and Italy. Departures from Las Vegas on Feb. 16, 19, March 20, 27, April 3, 13. $2,098 to $2,198, with 10 percent discount for teens. Includes bicycles, lodging, and all meals. Contact (800) 462-2848, www.backroads.com 28
LIFE WITH TEENS WINTER 2013
The Ultimate Out of State Experience
VIEW POINTS
When Mom Goes to Shul and Dad Goes to Mass Raising Kids in Interfaith Families
B Y V I C KI R I T T E R BA ND
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hen Ken Garfield, a Jewish man from Long Island, fell in love with a Southern Baptist named Sharon, they agreed to raise their children Christian. Decades later, if you ask Garfield, the director of communications at a Methodist church in North Carolina, about his family’s religion, he’ll answer like this: “We’re in an interfaith marriage and we raised our kids in a Christian household.” In other words, it’s complicated, but it’s a brand of complexity that more and more families are embracing. In the U.S., the most common type of intermarriage is among Jews and Christians, although plenty of other permutations exist. According to a large survey of American Jews released several months ago by the Pew Research Center, among Jewish respondents who have married since 2000, nearly six in ten have a nonJewish spouse. And among those who married before 1970, just 17% had a non-Jewish spouse. Statistics on intermarriage among Christians are harder to come by, but a 2007 survey by the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate found that only 7% of never married respondents said it was “very important” that they marry a Catholic while 43% said it was “not at all important.” What these numbers point to is that more and more couples who wish to instill their children with a religious identity will be grappling with questions of how to raise them.
Pick One and Only One Conventional thinking has been that you have to choose one religion or you’ll confuse your child. And while many parents are raising their kids in one faith, there are plenty of others who comfortably embrace two. “We are complex, multi-layered people,” says Rabbi Ari Moffic, director of InterFaith Family/ Chicago, an organization that supports interfaith families exploring Jewish life. “We have blended families because of divorce, adoption, different cultures, and heritages. It’s okay to live with complexity. This gives us a richness. It shows us the grays.” But when children enter their early teens, some say, a path has to be chosen. “It’s then that the teenager would have to make a decision, for example, about whether to be confirmed or bar mitzvahed—whether to accept Jesus Christ or whether to enter into the Jewish community as an adult,” says the Rev. Dr. Katharine Henderson, president of Auburn Theological Seminary in New York City. “It doesn’t mean, however, that they can’t continue to worship with the parent in the tradition that they have not chosen.” Helene Lauffer, a Jewish nonprofit executive from New York City, and her husband, Muzaffar Chishti, a Muslim from India, have rejected the either/ or construct. The family belongs to the progressive City Congregation for Humanistic Judaism and spends time exploring Chishti’s cultural and religious roots together as well; they even moved to India for a year and a half to immerse themselves in his Kashmiri family and community. Their older daughter Maryam’s bat mitzvah wove together Jewish and Muslim music and ritual and included her performance of a one-woman play that she wrote about growing up in both faiths. Reverend Julia Jarvis, a United Church of Christ minister and the spiritual director of the Washington, D.C.– based Interfaith Families Project, agrees that it’s important for children to know that they are more than one thing—even if the children are being raised in a single religion. Modeling curiosity about your spouse’s faith is a good place to begin, she states. “Start an interfaith library. If
you’re Jewish, get to know what it means to be Christian. I direct people to scholars who have thought deeply about Jesus. And if you’re Christian, get to know what it is to be Jewish. Read up about the culture, the religion and the nation.” When Other Differences Loom Larger For several of the couples interviewed, their religious differences can be overshadowed by other ways their backgrounds diverge. “Sometimes I think class plays more of a role than culture or faith,” says Krista Bremer, a North Carolina writer who describes herself as a spiritual “seeker” and has a book coming out called My Accidental Jihad: A Love Story. “My husband was raised very poor in a devout Muslim family in Libya. Several of his siblings died young. His parents are both illiterate.” Bremer says that while her 13-yearold daughter did don a headscarf at age 10 for a while, her identity is ever evolving. “She’s a teenager now, dyed her bangs red, and loves grunge music,” says Bremer. “She told me recently that if someone asked her if she is a Muslim, she would say, ‘This, too, is what a Muslim looks like. I’m not a perfect Muslim, but I am a Muslim.’” Like Bremer, Susan, a Jewish architect from Washington, D.C., said that she and her Hindu husband came from such divergent worlds that their religious differences never loomed large. “My parents were much more worried about whether we would settle in India than that we were different religions,” she confesses.
Let your teen explore religion and support their effort to find their place spiritually in the world. WINTER 2013 LIFE WITH TEENS
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The Adolescent Rebellion Susan sent both her son and daughter to Jewish Sunday school, but her daughter disliked it from the beginning, so Susan opted not to force the issue and didn’t re-enroll her the second year. Her son attended until he was bar mitzvahed, then announced last year that he no longer wanted to be Jewish. “It’s part of his adolescent rebellion,” says Susan. “He looks at me and says, ‘now what are you going to do?’” For Berta Moustafa, a Jehovah’s Witness from Massachusetts, it was her eldest son’s eventual refusal to accompany her to the Kingdom Hall—her house of worship—that revealed the fault lines between her Muslim husband’s idea of religious rearing and her own. “My husband is not an observant Muslim, but at some point he felt like I was pushing my religion onto our son,” said Moustafa. “It did create friction between us.” Questioning religion during the teenage years is not limited to religiously mixed families, but these issues can become thornier when there is conflict between the parents about religion, say some experts. “Teens will pick up on the tension and sometimes react in oppositional ways,” says Margie Bogdanow, a parent educator, coach, and consultant from Cambridge, Massachusetts, who teaches a course called Parenting Your Teen Through a Jewish Lens. “The world outside is so stressful for them. Parents need to provide a place at home that’s not stressful.” Although a religious rebellion may be hurtful to parents, it’s actually an important part of development, says Rabbi Lev Baesh, director of the resource center for Jewish clergy at interfaithfamily.com. “They’re working out how they 32
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view the world and how things work,” he says. “It’s important for parents not to belittle their kids’ opinions, not to shut them down and, not to say ‘you’re wrong.’ Hear your kids’ exploration and support their effort to find their place spiritually in the world.” Enlisting Grandparents Grandparents can also be great allies in the campaign to make interfaith childrearing work, according to Rabbi Baesh. “Explain to them how you’d like to use them as the bearers of information about their faith and history, and how you’ll give your kids the other religious stuff,” says Rabbi Baesh. “If a grandparent gets it ‘wrong,’ don’t chop their head off. And be flexible. If you’re raising your kids Jewish, don’t tell the other grandparents they can’t send Christmas presents. Perhaps suggest that they do Christmas presents at their house and if that doesn’t work, try it differently the next year.” While there are more and more communities welcoming interfaith families, it’s not always a smooth journey, say experts. But as in every relationship, communication is key. “Even if you disagree about religion with your spouse or teen, if you communicate in a thoughtful way, and try to understand the point of view of the other person, a lot of growth can happen,” says parent educator Bogdanow. “Religion hits deeply. And for many people, religion isn’t just about them. It’s about generations past. It can be one of the most dividing things or hopefully one of the most unifying things there is.” LWT
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Meet Your
DONOR DAD BY RAN DI M AZZELLA
eenager Ben Hall* was watching television when he saw a preview for a new docu-drama premiering on MTV titled Generation Cryo. Ben immediately called out, “Mom, this is my story too!” Generation Cryo (which premiered Monday, November 25) follows a seventeen-year-old girl named Breeanna who was biologically fathered by a sperm donor. Breeanna registered on the Donor Sibling Registry (www.DonorSiblingRegistry.com) and found out she had fifteen half-siblings. The show follows her as she embarks on a journey to locate her biological father and half-brothers and sisters. Ben also has a sperm donor dad. His parents Diane* and Emily* decided sixteen years ago that they wanted to have a child together. They went to the California Cryobank (www.Cryobank.com) and read through the profiles of the many donors available. Diane says, “Picking a donor is a big decision and there are a lot of factors to consider. Clients are provided with a great deal of information from eye and hair color to three years worth of medical records to help you choose.” Donors can decide if they want to be anonymous or would be open to being contacted when the child turns eighteen. Diane says, “We specifically picked a “Y” (yes) donor. We thought our future child might be curious and did not want that option taken away.” (Note that donors themselves are not allowed to contact the children they may have fathered. Legally the child can only initiate this connection at age 18.)
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LIFE WITH TEENS WINTER 2013
Because donors can father many children, it is also possible that like Breeanna, Ben could have halfsiblings. The Donor Sibling Registry allows children conceived as a result of sperm (or egg or embryo) donation to make contact with other children that they share a genetic tie to. To date, DSR has helped connect more than 10,520 half-siblings (and/or donors) to each other. The registry is simple to use. By providing a few pieces of information including the facility and donor ID number a connection can be made to other half-siblings that have registered. The registry founder, Wendy Kramer, is also releasing her new book, Finding our Families, to help families navigate their search just in time for the holidays. In addition to the MTV show, the topic of donor dads and half-siblings is explored in the movie Delivery Man which opened in theaters recently. The Oscar-nominated film The Kids are All Right also focused on the story of children connecting to a donor dad. Diane says, “I think all this pop culture attention is very progressive. It normalizes kids that were conceived in this manner. Hopefully Generation Cryo will handle the subject with sensitivity.” Ben’s parents have been upfront with him about his birth story since he was very young. Diane says, “Ben always thought his story was pretty
cool.” Ben never expressed any interest in locating his donor or finding out if he has any half-siblings. But the TV show has opened up the conversation at their house. “We will definitely be watching. It will give us a chance to see how the story unfolds for someone else.” Diane says, “Being an only child, it might be great for Ben to connect to other children that share his DNA— they might look like him or share a talent. But you also want to be cautious because you are allowing someone into your life that in many ways is a stranger. We would want to tread lightly; we don’t want Ben hurt or disappointed. Ultimately how to proceed would be up to him.”
Neither Diane nor Emily feels threatened by the possibility of Ben one day finding his donor dad. They are both confident that Ben knows who his parents are, but also understand that he might want to meet his biological dad. Diane says, “I think I would want to meet him and have an opportunity to say thank you for this incredible gift he gave us. Without him, I never would have known my son.” LWT * Names changed
Being an only child, it might be great for Ben to connect to other children that share his DNA— they might look like him or share a talent.
WINTER 2013 LIFE WITH TEENS
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Get Cookin’ The holidays are all about family time and decadent food. So, why not combine both. Make this easy holiday fudge for a seasonal and delicious treat that is fast, fun, and teenage friendly!
Easy Chocolate Holiday Fudge 1 cup of chocolate chips 1 cup of butterscotch chips 1 can of sweetened condensed milk (14-ounce) 1 tsp. of vanilla extract 1 cup of pecans 2 candy canes
Prep: • Chop pecans into small pieces • Place candy canes in a plastic bag and crush them with a rolling pin • Set up double boiler (directions below) Directions: Melt chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, and condensed milk in a double boiler on medium heat. Once all ingredients are incorporated and smooth, remove the bowl from the pan and turn off heat. Add the vanilla, nuts, and candy canes to the mixture. Scoop into a baking dish (any size, any shape, it doesn’t matter!), and chill in the fridge until set, for approximately 10 minutes. Enjoy with milk, tea, or hot chocolate. Tip: You can substitute the pecans and candy canes for any kind of nuts or candy you want. The options are endless!
Celebrate These
UNOFFICIAL
HOLIDAYS All Year Long
July JANUARY 1 Polar Bear Plunge Day 14 Dress Up Your Pet Day 19 National Popcorn Day 24 Compliment Day
February 1 National Wear Red Day 14 National Organ Donor Day 17 Random Acts of Kindness Day 28 Read the Spring Issue of Life with Teens Day
March 7 Cereal Day 10 Middle Name Pride Day 14 Pi Day
April 2 Peanut Butter & Jelly Day 4 School Librarian Day 6 Student Athlete Day 26 Hug-a-Friend Day
May 3 National Space Day 6 Honor Your School Nurse Day 23 Read the Summer Issue of Life with Teens Day 25 Geek Pride Day
June 18 Autistic Pride Day 28 CAPS LOCK DAY 30 Social Media Day
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LIFE WITH TEENS WINTER 2013
1 International Joke Day 3 Compliment Yourself Day 23 National Hot Dog Day
August 2 National Ice Cream Day 4 Friendship Day 12 Middle Child’s Day 20 Read the Fall Issue of Life with Teens Day
September 5 Eat Bacon Day 6 National Read a Book Day 29 National Family Health & Fitness Day
October 7 Financial Planning Day 13 National Food Bank Donation Day 15 Teen Reading Day
November 17 International Student Day 24 National Family Game Day 26 Buy Nothing Day 30 Read the Winter Issue of Life with Teens Day
December 10 Human Rights Day 16 Free Shipping Day 22 National Wrap Your Re-gifts Day 26 National Thank You Day
Source: NationalDayCalendar.org & Wikipedia
By the time the NeXt iSSUe comeS oUt, yoUr doNatioNS will have helped people earN New joBS.
doNate StUff. create joBS.
To find your nearesT donaTion cenTer, go To Goodwill.orG