Life with Teens Magazine - Spring 2014

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Glee’s

ALEX

Newell

MAGAZINE FOR PARENTS

Legalized Marijuana: What Does It Mean for Teens?

Inside the Athletic Recruiting Process Understanding 529 Plans

TALKS LIFE On AND Off THE HIT SHOW

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TeenLife.com VOL. III., Issue 1

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Welcome to

Our spring issue is here!

As the sounds and signs of warmer weather are popping up all around me, it makes me even more excited to share our latest issue of Life with Teens with you! Our colorful and fun cover featuring Glee actor, Alex Newell, and fresh and timely editorial, is the perfect way to kick off spring!

With the 100th episode of Glee scheduled to air March 18, we couldn’t be more pleased to have Alex Newell as our cover story. Every week, my daughters and I cuddle up on the couch to see what’s in store for one of our favorite characters, Unique. On page 12, Alex gives his personal insight into why he thinks shows like Glee, that have a nice balance of comedy and relevance, are so important for parents and teens to watch side-by-side.

Like many of you, I am trying to gain understanding on everything there is to know about saving money for college. Our article College Savings 101: What You Need to Know about 529 Plans on page 6 offers valuable advice on which type of savings plan might work best for your family.

If you have a stellar student-athlete, Inside the College Athletic Recruiting Process: Tips for Parents and Teens on page 18 is a definite mustread. It not only highlights some of the things you need to consider when embarking on the recruiting process, but also reminds parents and teens that there are many options for coeds to play sports on campus.

On page 24 we present both sides of the controversial issue of legalizing marijuana for medical purposes, including the impact these laws may have on teen accessibility and use.

Some of the other “hot topics” covered in this issue of Life with Teens include ROTC, alternative careers in sports, tattoos, and the scary realities of teen depression. All of these articles provide the newest, most pertinent information for parents of teens.

We hope you enjoy our spring issue. Please share it with other parents you know. It’s easy to sign up for a free subscription at LifeWithTeensMag.com/subscribe! I welcome your feedback and ideas on what you’d like to see us feature, so please don’t hesitate to email me at camille@teenlife.com.

Best,

Camille Heidebrecht Managing Editor SPRING 2014 LIFE WITH TEENS

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PUBLISHED BY Life with Teens, Volume III, Issue 1 Spring 2014 is published four times a year by TeenLife Media, LLC, 1330 Beacon St., Suite 268, Brookline, MA 02446, (617) 277-5120, info@teenlife.com, www.teenlife.com.

LIMIT OF LIABILITY TeenLife Media, LLC, (TL) does not verify claims or information appearing in any advertisements contained in this magazine. While advertising copy is reviewed, no endorsement of any product or service offered by any advertisement is intended or implied by publication in Life with Teens.

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Copyright © 2014 by TeenLife Media, LLC Published by TeenLife Media, LLC, Brookline, MA

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LIFE WITH TEENS SPRING 2014

Contents SPRING 2014

22

Career Track:

BY SOPHIE BORDEN

24

4

New groundbreaking stats

6

A Medical Marijuana Dispensary is Coming to a Town Near You: Should You be Concerned?

BY VICKI RITTERBAND

9

12

College Savings 101: What You Need to Know About 529 Plans

BY KRISTEN LICCIARDI

Campus Connect: ROTC: Is It Right for Your Son or Daughter?

Volunteer Spotlight:

Amazing Teen, Jordyn Schara: It’s Never Too Late to Give Back

BY SOPHIE BORDEN

30

Money Sense:

Timely Topic:

27

Did you know?

10 Alternative Careers in Sports

Health & Wellness:

More Than a Bad Day; Paying Attention to Depression in Teens

BY DEBRA RUDER BRADLEY

32

Viewpoints:

BY RANDI MAZZELLA

Teens and Tattoos

BY ELIZABETH SUNEBY

What Makes Alex Newell Unique

18

BY SOPHIE BORDEN

Inside the College Athletic Recruiting Process:

Alex takes the stage!

Tips for Parents and Teens

BY KRISTEN LICCIARDI

See his story on page 12.

STAY CONNECTED!

LifeWithTeensMag.com

Photo Credit: JSquared Photography

DID YOU

KNOW?

There is at least

10 times more crime on TV as there is in the real world.

FACTSlides.com

According to the Census Bureau, there were

14,000 ADULTS between the ages of 18 and 24 who had completed a doctoral degree as of last year.

Census Bureau

was first used in a letter from a British admiral to Winston Churchill in 1917.

Today, it’s used more often by texting teens than heads of state!

FACTSlides.com 4

LIFE WITH TEENS SPRING 2014

A day’s worth of Twitter posts would fill a 10-millionpage book.

The U.S. retail industry makes

$6.8 billion

FACTSlides.com

a year from gift cards that no one redeems.

FACTSlides.com

27% of teens play in a SPORTS FANTASY LEAGUE. StageofLife.com Study on Teens and Sports Trends

Parents plan to pay 62% of the total cost of college.

Most are on target for meeting only 1/3 of that goal, setting aside about $5,000 a year.

Source: Fidelity’s Yearly Study of College Saving SPRING 2014 LIFE WITH TEENS

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SENSE College Savings 101: What You Need to Know About

529 Plans

BY KRI ST E N L I CC I AR DI

“How will we EVER afford college?”

For most parents, this question can cause overwhelming anxiety as their children reach the teen years. Paying for college can feel like an insurmountable task on par with climbing Mt. Everest. Parents are right to worry: Tuition costs and fees at public universities tripled over the past 30 years when adjusted for inflation, according to the College Board’s annual report on college pricing.

As higher education costs take a bigger bite out of our paychecks, families are turning to 529 plans to jump-start their college savings. There are now more than 11 million 529 savings accounts nationwide, with consumers investing a whopping $205 billion in these plans, according to the College Savings Plans Network, a clearinghouse for 529 plan information. With every state sponsoring at least one type of plan, the options can be overwhelming. To help you decipher the details, we’ve answered some frequently asked questions about 529s.

Tuition costs and fees at public universities tripled over the past 30 years when adjusted for inflation.

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How is a 529 plan different?

Unlike traditional investments such as IRAs, mutual funds, or stocks, college savings plans are “tax-advantaged” to encourage families to save for college. Any withdrawals you make from a 529 plan are free from federal income tax (and most state taxes) as long as they are used for eligible higher education expenses— an appealing benefit when you’re trying to make every penny count for college.

How many types of 529 plans are there?

There are two very different types of 529 plans: prepaid tuition plans and college savings plans.

• Prepaid tuition plans allow you to lock in today’s tuition rates for future use at a participating college or university; you purchase amounts of tuition to be used at a later date by your child. Owners of prepaid tuition plans don’t have to worry about future tuition hikes, as most states guarantee that their prepaid plans will keep pace with rising tuition costs, according to the College Savings Plans Network. The downside?

Prepaid plans cover tuition but usually exclude other big-ticket expenses such as room and board. Plus, most state plans require residency to open an account, and the child must attend college in-state (although there are some programs like Massachusetts’ U.Plan, which allows non-residents to prepay tuition at 80 colleges and universities, both public and private).

• College savings plans are the more popular 529 option because of their flexibility. Anyone can open an account in a child’s name (family, friend, or relative). You use the college savings plan to pay for all eligible higher ed expenses at most U.S. colleges and universities. Most states now offer at least one plan that has no residency restrictions, according to Smart Saving for College, FINRA’s (Financial Industry Regulatory Authority) guide to college savings options.

So, for example, you could live in New Jersey, contribute to a plan in Rhode Island, and send your child to college in California. How do you invest your money? College savings plans vary by state but usually offer a selection of investment options like stock or money market funds; you have the flexibility to make as many contributions to the fund as you like; and the beneficiary of the fund can be changed at any point (so an account set up for a child can be transferred to the mother if she decides to go back to grad school, for example).

College savings plans sound so appealing; are there any drawbacks?

An important caveat: If you withdraw college savings funds for anything other than qualified educational expenses, you’re subject to income tax and an additional 10 percent federal tax penalty on earnings. In other words, don’t plan on tapping into 529 funds to renovate your kitchen. Another drawback: Unlike prepaid tuition plans, these funds don’t lock in tuition prices, and stock market ups and downs can impact your college savings plan year-to-year, depending on the types of funds you own. That’s why financial advisors agree it’s important to start a college savings plan as far in advance of college as possible— so you can take full advantage of the stock market and still have time to move your money into less volatile funds as your child approaches college.

Does this mean it is too late to open a 529 plan if I have a teen?

It depends on the type of plan. It might be too late to open a prepaid tuition plan; most states require the beneficiary to be no older than 15 when opening one. However, it’s not too late to open a college savings plan, as there are no age restrictions and the funds don’t expire when your child graduates from college (they can be transferred to another child or family member at any time). But the longer you wait to open a college savings plan, the less time you have to invest and weather the stock market. So if you open this type of fund at a late

date, don’t count on it covering the entire cost of college; you will have to consider additional financing options when tuition bills become a reality.

Will a 529 plan impact my child’s financial aid package?

“Any investments or savings can affect federal financial aid eligibility,” says George Smaragdis, FINRA spokesman. “But the impact on financial aid varies depending on whether the savings belong to the parent or the child.”

Here’s how college savings funds are beneficial during the financial aid review: Savings plans are considered parental assets, which reduce your federal financial aid package by at most 5.64 percent. However, a student asset (a savings account in your child’s name, for example) can reduce aid eligibility by 20 percent. The bottom line: Children’s assets are penalized more heavily in the financial aid evaluation process; 529 plans allow you or other relatives to contribute to your child’s education while also minimizing financial aid repercussions for your family.

What about merit-based aid?

Will a 529 plan reduce my child’s merit scholarship?

Parents, take note: Your family’s 529 plan will not necessarily reduce merit-based aid your child might receive. There are two sides to financial aid: need-based and merit-based aid, notes Judy Zodda, Educational Consultant and founder of Zodda College Services. “Many parents don’t realize that merit aid can be a big part of your child’s financial aid package, even if you think you won’t qualify for need-based aid.” Merit scholarships vary widely college to college based on an institution’s priorities and can be awarded to students based on good grades, for instance, or musical, leadership, or dramatic ability. Merit aid is also awarded for state residency, minority status, ROTC participation, or alumni affiliation, she says.

SPRING 2014 LIFE WITH TEENS

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With so many options and caveats, how do I pick a plan?

Research 529 plans thoroughly; see our list of web resources to help you compare and understand your options. If you’re overwhelmed by your choices and skittish of potential risks, consider consulting a financial expert. “Every family has different needs based on their financial situation. I advise my clients to sit down with a certified financial accountant or certified financial planner who specializes in college savings and financial aid to help them assess their options,” says Zodda. “If you haven’t done it yet, have an in-depth talk about saving for college and what’s best for your family’s needs. Start the conversation as early as possible—don’t wait until your child’s junior year of high school.” LWT

For more information on saving for college, go to these websites: College Savings Plans Network (affiliate of National Association of State Treasurers): collegesavings.org • Serves as a clearinghouse for information among existing 529 plans • Provides links to each state’s 529 plan website as well as tools to compare plans by state and by feature FINRA (Financial Industry Regulatory Authority): finra.org • College Savings Calculator estimates amount of money to invest each year to cover your child’s college education • 529 Plan Expense Analyzer compares fees and expenses of college savings plans and how they can reduce returns • Download Smart Saving for College, FINRA’s extensive overview of college savings tools and resources for families Big Future by the College Board: bigfuture.collegeboard.org • Comprehensive college planning website • Tools and calculators help you plan how much to save for college, find scholarships, and get a personalized estimate of what a particular college could cost your family

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Houghton Mifflin Harcourt and HMH® are trademarks or registered trademarks of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. Apple, the Apple logo, iBooks, and iPad are trademarks of Apple Inc., registered in the U.S. and other countries. iBooks Store is a service mark of Apple Inc. © Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. All rights reserved. MS93083a 02/14

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LIFE WITH TEENS SPRING 2014

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CONNECT

Is It the Right Choice for Your Son or Daughter?

BY E L I Z AB E T H S U NE BY

he Reserve Officers’ Training Corps, better known by the acronym ROTC (often pronounced ‘rätsē), is a college-based program for training commissioned officers for all branches of the U.S. Military—Army, Navy, Marine Corps, Air Force, and Coast Guard. In return for a commitment of military service upon graduation, ROTC funds all or part of college tuition, depending on the type of commission and scholarship contract a student signs, and provides an opportunity for students to develop leadership skills critical for both a military and a civilian career. Don’t let the term “reserve” confuse you. ROTC trains officers for active duty, which could mean any position, from serving as an accountant on a base in Missouri to piloting a helicopter in Afghanistan.

ROTC is currently offered at more than 1,000 colleges and universities across the United States. If accepted into ROTC, a student must be ready for a serious commitment. ROTC Army and Air Force “cadets” and Navy and Marine “midshipmen” attend civilian college classes as well as ROTC-specific courses through a ROTC unit at or nearby their school. On top of academics, the students attend physical training in the field over the weekends and summers.

“With an extra course load and strenuous physical requirements, ROTC students are not able to enjoy some of the luxuries of a typical college student, including sleeping late, weekends to themselves, and the freedom to choose what they wear every day,” explains Boston University (BU) Director of Military Education Douglas Sears, who also serves as the vice president and chief of staff to the president of BU. In addition to ROTC, there are four other options for an individual interested in serving as a U.S. military officer: attend one of the highly selective U.S. service academies (West Point, Naval Academy, Air Force Academy, Coast Guard Academy); enroll in one of six Senior Military Colleges or five Military Junior Colleges; attend Officer Candidate School after graduating from college; or receive a direct commission after earning a professional degree.

Boston University ROTC enrollment statistics for the 250 students reveal that although it is mostly male dominated, females are also drawn to the leadership program.

rotc

male female

Army

77%

23%

Air Force 73%

27%

Navy

33%

67%

SPRING 2014 LIFE WITH TEENS

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PERSONAL STORIES Having met thousands of ROTC students, Sears believes the most common reasons a young person is drawn to ROTC are a family history of military service, college scholarships and job opportunities, the desire to serve our country, and a proclivity for physical challenges.

Air Force ROTC Graduate: Josh Carroll Josh was a freshman studying political science at Merrimack College in Andover, Massachusetts, on September 11, 2001. From that pivotal day forward, he was driven to find a way to help strengthen global security.

Josh had applied for a ROTC scholarship out of high school but was not accepted. He went to college thinking that ROTC had escaped him, yet less than 2 years later, Josh was accepted into a ROTC detachment at the University of Massachusetts Lowell campus, earned a scholarship, and graduated at the top of his class. “It was tough balancing school, ROTC, and playing Division II football. But if you want something badly enough, you can find a way. I completed the 2-year accelerated program thanks to supporters who encouraged me along the way. I am by no means smart—my officer qualifying test scores were just enough to keep me in the program.

However, I was serious about earning a commission and just kept at it,” explains this very humble man.

My parents were very supportive— at least my father was. My brother served in the Air Force for 20 years and so did my uncle, so our family was familiar with what we were doing.

However, it was right after 9/11 and I know my mother was very concerned whether I was making the right decision.

—Josh Carroll, Air Force intelligence officer, social entrepreneur, and law student

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After college, Josh served in Afghanistan. During his 7 months of service, he realized that “enduring freedom” requires not only military presence and foreign aid but also job creation. Josh and four Air Force comrades searched for a way to employ Afghan women, as women typically reinvest earned income in their families and communities through education and healthcare.

They launched Flying Scarfs, selling Afghan women’s handmade scarves over the Internet to a worldwide market. The friends started the non-profit with their own money, and today the business is self-sustaining, operating without investors or dependence on charitable donations. While Josh does not receive any financial compensation for his work with Flying Scarfs, he does receive well-deserved recognition. He was awarded the Presidential Service Award, the Air Force Commendation Medal, and the Military Volunteer Service Medal for his contributions to microeconomic development in Afghanistan.

Current Army Cadet: Ariel Prairie Ariel, a senior at Boston University studying accounting on a 4-year scholarship, was initially drawn to ROTC for the financial assistance. Now into her fourth year, Ariel recognizes many other benefits of the program. She recalls, “Through ROTC I have made close friends who have all seen each other at our best and our worst. It keeps me in shape and has given me real-world skills like organization and time management—not to mention how to be productive on little sleep.” Often awake 3 hours before her 8:00 a.m. class, Ariel recognizes the added obligations, responsibilities, and skills ROTC students have over “regular” college students.

After graduation Ariel will enter the New York National Guard for 8 years. She plans to complete all 8 years while working at an accounting firm, but she readily admits, “I am still working that out.”

My parents are very proud of me today and have been extremely supportive from the start.

—ariel prairie, army cadet, bu senior

Incoming ROTC High School Student: Peter Kellner Peter, a high school senior at Champlain Valley Union High School in Hinesburg, Vermont, has applied for a scholarship with plans to attend Marine-Option Navy ROTC at Boston University in the fall of 2014. His mother, Joanne, explaining her son’s direction, says, “This has been entirely Peter—it’s what he’s been drawn to from a very early age.” Like many parents, Peter’s have mixed emotions about their child’s decision. “We are happy for him to pursue his passion, proud of him to be willing to take on a partly unknowable challenge, happy he has a clear goal, worried for his long-term physical and psychological health, and relieved to have the potential for some financial help with college tuition,” explains Peter’s dad.

I would recommend any parent wanting to learn more about the ROTC process and the specific program at an individual university to meet with the ROTC coordinator or an officer involved in the program.

—Bill Kellner, parent of incoming ROTC

Developing Leaders Major Joshua Goodrich, executive officer of Boston University’s Army ROTC and assistant professor of military science, understands that many high school seniors are not ready to pick their college major, or their military specialty for that matter. “In Army ROTC, cadets pick their specialty in the first semester of senior year of college. Even then, students sometimes choose a specialty related to an academic focus, but other times, young people want to experience something completely different,” explains Goodrich. Goodrich’s advice to teenagers considering a career in the Army is, “If you have the desire to lead, we are always looking for scholars and athletes with a strong commitment to serving our country.”

Over the years, Douglas Sears has had the privilege of speaking to military officers who were former ROTC students at BU. He is consistently impressed by the strength of their character as well as their accomplishments in the military and in the private sector. Most importantly, Sears notes, “ROTC gives you incredible responsibilities early in life and shapes you into a remarkable, yet understated, person.” LWT

freshman

Peter, who plans to major in international relations, only applied to colleges that have ROTC on campus. He clarifies the reasons for his decision, explaining, “What drew me to ROTC was the ability to have military training while simultaneously going to a regular college. I like the idea of having a close-knit group of friends who share the same interests, aspirations, and motivations as I do.

Also, I think that ROTC is a great challenge and a way to enhance my college experience. Unlike if I attended a military academy, I can still be a regular college student with ROTC, and that is important to me.”

While not 100 percent sure of his career direction, Peter is interested in learning more about conducting and commanding reconnaissance missions as a ground intelligence officer. He is well aware that his post-graduation future is in the Marines’ hands and says, “ROTC helps you to figure out what you want to do, but ultimately you are assigned to where the Marine Corps needs you.”

SPRING 2014 LIFE WITH TEENS

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what makes

Alex Newell ne may think Alex Newell’s character on Glee, Wade “Unique” Adams, could overshadow his real-life personality.

Unique is a powerful and mesmerizing character—she always looks fabulous, wears heels often, and is not afraid to speak her mind. Her strong, memorable persona could easily define Alex as an actor, and as a person. But with the first sound of Alex’s voice, I knew he was just as special as his character—if not more special. I automatically felt energized, excited, and inspired by his stories and his life. He expects that when someone meets him for the first time, they won’t see him as Unique, but instead will say, “Wow, [Alex] has great fashion taste and smells amazing.” Our phone call reaffirmed everything that I already admired about Alex: He is candid, honest, down-to-earth, upbeat, and charming.

BY S O P H I E B O R DE N

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Photo Credit: JSquared Photography SPRING 2014 LIFE WITH TEENS

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Although Alex’s star power has blown up in the last year, he is not even close to forgetting where he came from. Alex grew up in Lynn, Massachusetts, a suburb of Boston, with his mother, Brenda. His father passed away from colon cancer when Alex was only 6 years old, strengthening his relationship with his mom, whom he talks to at least two or three times a day (despite the 3-hour time difference). Alex was recently signed by Atlantic Records and is currently filming the fifth season of Glee in Los Angeles. Nevertheless, he constantly has his home and his family in the back of his mind. He describes himself as a homebody whenever he isn’t on set.

Glee and Family Glee is known for touching on pertinent, real-world issues, specifically those involving high school, teenagers, and their families. From sex and catfishing to steroids and school violence, no subject is off-limits to Glee. These issues are what make the show so important, Alex explains. Glee is a catalyst for controversial and timely discussions—discussions on topics that are otherwise taboo. Alex encourages parents and teens to watch Glee together, and to discuss how the show relates to their lives. Not only is Glee entertaining and comical, but “It’s something that you and your family can watch together and converse about. It’s one of those shows that applies to everyone.”

Alex’s character on Glee plays an important role in the show’s message. Unique Adams is one of the most prominent transgender characters to ever appear on American television, and her storyline truly details the difficulties of a transitioning teen. I asked Alex how his own experiences in high school—perhaps as a gay teenager—helped him nail down his character. In response, instead of focusing on his gender or sexuality, Alex simply relates to being an underdog as a teen. He says, “You know, I think being the underdog helped me because this is a touchy [subject] in high school. People don’t immediately understand or accept underdogs.”

Learning from Unique While Alex’s high school experiences contribute to his performance and interpretation of Unique, Unique also inspires Alex to think about issues outside of Glee—issues that Alex has never personally faced but that affect his character on a daily basis. He recalls 14

LIFE WITH TEENS SPRING 2014

what he has learned from playing a transgender character: “I’ve learned so many different things. Number one: Sometimes you’re not aware of transgender issues that go on in your community. I wasn’t aware of these things until I literally had to sit down and represent it. Just be it. And I think that’s what I’m learning—learning what it’s all about, not just the physical aspects of being transgender but the mental part of it and the life of it all. And especially the heart of it all.”

Whether or not Alex knows it, he is playing a huge role in America’s awareness and acceptance of the LGBT community. The fact that he plays one of the only transgender characters on television showcases the severe underrepresentation of the LGBT community in Hollywood. Unique Adams also points to the fearlessness of Glee and how the show is not afraid to put real teenage issues up for discussion.

Some Glee viewers may be uncomfortable with the characters or storylines, but this is what makes the show so significant and rare. Alex asserts, “I feel like if it’s not uncomfortable, you never get the point of it all. I think if something doesn’t make you think about an issue, then it’s a waste. You always have to have a show that stimulates the mind and makes you really think about what actual people go through just to get the heart of it all and the understanding of it all.”

Nothing is going to fall into your lap. Nothing is going to come to you. You have to go do it.

Unlike the rest of the cast, Alex can strongly relate to Glee fans, often referred to as Gleeks. Only a few years ago, Alex was simply a viewer—a teenage boy who loved to sing and act, but who had no real training. When Alex auditioned for The Glee Project in 2011, he didn’t even tell his mother, thinking his chances were slim. Even though he was the runner-up in the competition, Alex was asked to appear in the third season, which turned into a regular gig. I asked Alex what inspires him the most in his music, and what pushes him to succeed. “Plenty of people inspire me,” Alex says without hesitation. He elaborates, “My number one inspiration is Beyoncé. Everyone admires her because she’s beautiful and gorgeous, but I really admire her because her work ethic is beyond anyone else’s work ethic. During rehearsals, she’s right there with her dancers the entire time, learning the moves, taking time with them. Who else can fall down on stage and make it work and keep singing like nothing ever happened?

Who else can fly from one end of the Staples Center to the other without even appearing as if it affected her?”

Brenda’s Ongoing Support Alex doesn’t only admire a strong work ethic—he embodies one as well. He broke into the entertainment industry with force and never gave up on himself and his dream. He knows that nothing comes easy and advises other teens to “Just be themselves… You have to do what you feel represents you best—and you have to work for it. Nothing is going to fall into your lap. Nothing is going to come to you. You have to go do it. You have to seize every opportunity you get.”

Alex’s strong work ethic undoubtedly comes from his mother. After my interview with Alex, I got the chance to talk with Brenda, who could not be prouder of her son. Brenda describes Alex as her “heart.” She articulates, “[Alex] is what I live for. We’re very, very close because he was only six when his father passed away, so I had to become both mom and dad. I always told him, ‘Don’t hold back.’ I got him involved in as many things as I could to try to take his mind away from the death of his father.”

It is clear that from the beginning, Brenda supported Alex’s dreams and goals, no matter the cost. She always knew Alex had extreme talent, and she let nothing stand in the way. She explains, “I used to take him to everything. To see the joy that he got from doing it, something that he really liked, made me want to make the sacrifice even more… I made the sacrifice because it was something that was improving his self-esteem. ‘I’m doing something great, Mom. I’m enjoying this,’ Alex used to say, and it gave me pleasure. If the child has a talent, I don’t think the parent should hold them back. Make the sacrifice.”

As a single mother, Brenda regularly felt the financial pressures of providing for a budding star. She had to take on a second job to afford piano lessons and other extracurricular activities, but she did it with enthusiasm.

Brenda adds, “I did everything that I could possible to make a dream come true for him.” It was all worth it, she explains, because when she would ask Alex what he wanted to be when he grew up, he responded, “I want to be a superstar!” Without Brenda’s ongoing support, Alex may not have grown into the celebrity he is today.

In a matter of years, Alex Newell transformed from a high school student with a passion to a television star with an inspiring message and voice. Not only does his character create a positive representation of the LGBT community, but Alex also serves as a role model for aspiring teenage superstars. He sends a message to teens that you can be whoever you want to be—you don’t have to conform to anything or anyone. You can be the underdog in high school but still come out on top.

In 5 years, Alex simply wants to be happy. “A lot can happen in 5 years,” he says, “But I think my goal is to be happy and comfortable.” Perhaps Alex will still be on television, or have a few albums under his belt. Or maybe he will spend his free time baking and shopping, his two favorite off-the-set activities. What Alex does know is that wherever he’ll be in the future, he will be smiling. I can hear the joy in his voice and picture his grin when he affirms, “Always do everything with a smile because if you can’t smile at the end of the day, you are doing something wrong.” LWT

Fun Facts About

ALEX NEWELL 1.

My entertainment idols are Beyoncé and Patti LaBelle.

2. My favorite song is Beyoncé’s “Blow.”

3. What I watch besides Glee? Kim of Queens on Lifetime.

4. My first acting role was Governor Dansforth in The Crucible.

5. My biggest obsession: SHOES. I have more than 70 pairs!

6. The store I shop at most: Nordstrom, of course.

7. What I like to eat: chicken parmesan and bacon-wrapped anything.

8. My best memory from high school: getting cast in The Glee Project.

9. My fondest memory from Glee: performing “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend.”

10. An inspirational quote I like: “Mean people are like sandpaper. They just keep rubbing you wrong and you come out shiny.” –Lyrics from Beyoncé’s “Fighting Temptation”

Watch Alex perform “If I Were a Boy” on Glee!

SPRING 2014 LIFE WITH TEENS

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LIFE WITH TEENS SPRING 2014

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SPRING 2014 LIFE WITH TEENS

17

Inside the College

ATHLETIC RECRUITING Process:

Tips for Parents and Teens

BY KRIST E N LICCIARDI

etting into college is not as simple as it used to be.

To stand out in a field of star students, college applicants are expected to shine in the classroom and beyond. Not surprisingly, athletics are taking a more prominent role on the well-rounded student resume. ESPN’s recent study on youth and competitive sports notes that overall, high schools are expanding athletic opportunities for students. Club teams are proliferating, too, separately from school programs. In certain sports like soccer, teens are increasingly foregoing high school teams altogether to play exclusively for clubs—a development that is impacting high school athletic programs nationwide, according to athleticbusiness.com.

While high school athletes are certainly competitive, many consider their sport as a hobby—an experience that makes high school more enjoyable. But what happens when your child decides to pursue a sport in college? For a prospective athlete, the recruiting process can ramp up an already stressful college admissions race.

A recent New York Times article was an eye-opener for me. It highlights the increasingly heated competition among college coaches to recruit kids as young as middle school to play college sports. It’s a trend that parents feel they have little control over, as their children vie for coveted athletic scholarships (see statistics on page 21).

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LIFE WITH TEENS SPRING 2014

While much of the recruiting process is unique to the individual sport and college your child is pursuing, some advice rings true across the board. It is important to help your teen navigate the athletic recruiting process in a more proactive, positive way, rather than succumbing to the pressure and competition. Here are some key factors that every parent of a prospective college athlete should keep in mind.

Specializing: An Early Decision Before starting the athletic recruiting process, every parent should educate himself or herself on specialization. Sports-savvy families and high school coaches are the first to acknowledge that youth athletes are specializing in one sport by middle school and playing that sport year-round. For example, “U.S. soccer is requiring both boys and girls to commit to the sport full-time at an earlier age,” notes Heidi Valk, girls’ varsity soccer coach at Deerfield Academy in Massachusetts. Sports specialization is a “relatively new development that has gained momentum over the past 10 years or so,” she says.

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Is specialization a good thing for children? There are pros and cons that each family has to weigh individually. The biggest payoff: Year-round competition can turn talented athletes into top college prospects. “These girls become really good soccer players. Their skill level is outstanding,” Valk remarks, referring to the athletes who play for both club and varsity teams. She predicts some of her current students will play Division I women’s soccer.

There are some caveats to full-time play. Injuries occur more frequently when an athlete specializes in one sport, which may sideline them for months, not to mention, “It’s a huge commitment for the students and the parents who take them to the practices, camps, and tournaments,” Valk acknowledges. However, on the bright side, it is very common for parents and athletes to arrange carpools, as many sports programs are location-based. This lowers the time demand for parents.

High-Profile Play Is Critical Sports specialization requires many outside events, such as camps and tournaments. While these events may not be as competitive as a regular-season game, camps and tournaments are where college coaches see prospective players in action, says Lori Hendricks, Director of Athletics at Mount Holyoke College, an NCAA Division III college. “Our coaches are recruiting year-round,” she notes. Knowledgeable club and high school coaches can advise students on the must-attend showcases for their individual sport, says Valk. “If you want to play on the college level, you have to put yourself out there,” she notes. Many colleges also offer summer camps (sometimes called “ID camps”), where coaches will assess a prospect’s athletic abilities and identify whether he or she is the right fit for that specific college.

Do Your Homework in Advance The experts agree: For the student-athlete, freshman year of high school is not too early to start researching and creating a list of prospective colleges. Today’s students have a wealth of digital resources to help them.

When an athlete starts to refine his or her list of potential schools, make sure to visit the individual colleges’ websites. Most institutions have “recruit me” forms within the athletic department’s online offerings, making it very easy for students to make contact with a prospective college and its coaches, Hendricks notes.

The NCAA website is also a must-read; it has extensive information on college recruiting and eligibility rules, including the Guide for the College-Bound StudentAthlete. It’s critical to understand how the NCAA rules, which differ by division, can impact your child’s interaction with coaches and colleges throughout the recruitment process. For example, students who decide to apply to Division I and II schools must register online with the NCAA Eligibility Center by the end of sophomore year.

“Make sure you and your child understand the real differences in philosophy between the different NCAA divisions and their respective athletic programs,” Hendricks cautions. Students should consult with their club and high school coaches to figure out what level of play will best suit their individual talents. Don’t forget to keep your child’s guidance counselor or independent college advisor in the loop, as they will be able to offer more insight on how a potential college matches up with your teen’s academic credentials and goals.

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LIFE WITH TEENS SPRING 2014

Be Aggressive and Thorough

Recruiting Services: Be Cautious

Once a student develops a list of prospective colleges, it’s time to become a proactive participant in the recruitment process. Experts agree that with so many qualified student-athletes, even the best players shouldn’t assume colleges will seek them out. Hendricks advises, “If you have a particular interest in competing at a certain institution, make any effort possible to contact the coach directly and attend that school’s summer camp, if you can.”

Student-athletes should make sure to look beyond the athletic programs of prospective colleges. “Learn about the college as an academic institution. Meet the professors, visit the campus, and take a tour that goes beyond the athletic center. And definitely let the coach know about your visit,” Hendricks recommends. With the help of coaches and guidance counselors, students should develop a list of questions for college coaches and staff, students, and professors. After all, it’s in a student’s best interest to gather as much information as he or she can during the recruitment process. Valk notes, “It’s that tried-and-true question that every athletic recruit should ask when they visit a college campus: ‘Would I be happy going to school here if I broke my leg and couldn’t play soccer for the rest of the season?’” Students need to consider what type of institution will fulfill their athletic and academic ambitions.

College insiders say that student-athletes and parents should be wary of online recruiting services. In the age of social media, it’s tempting for students to think that online recruiting will help them “connect” with more college coaches online. While these resources may allow your student to upload his or her athletic resume for potential college coaches to view, the reality is clear— colleges need to see every athletic prospect on the field, in action.

Video footage can also be helpful, but “Don’t give us more than 3 minutes of live footage. Nothing fancy,” says Hendricks, who notes that prospects can upload their own video on YouTube, eliminating the need for professional video services.

Financial Aid and Scholarships: Not a Guarantee Unfortunately, not all athletic recruits earn financial aid or a scholarship as part of their acceptance to a college team. Similar to academic or merit scholarships, athletic scholarships are granted on an annual basis and are not necessarily extended year to year, according to the NCAA website. It is important to note that Division III schools do not offer sports scholarships but can offer other financial aid and merit-based scholarships.

The bottom line is that athletic excellence doesn’t guarantee a student will receive financial rewards. Take the time to research and plan for paying for college—including when and how to fill out financial aid forms. Big Future by The College Board is an excellent online resource for parents and students that offers comprehensive tools, webinars, and resources to guide you through the financial aid application process.

Keep All Your Sporting Options Open

Playing College Sports and Earning Scholarships: What Are the Odds?

7 to 8 percent of all high school athletes play collegiate sports.

Less than 2 percent of all high school athletes receive college athletic scholarships.

Only 1 percent of all high school athletes will play NCAA Division I sports.

More than 1,800 colleges have NCAA athletic programs; 94 percent are outside of Division I. Source: NCAA, scholarshipstats.com

In the event that your child doesn’t get a spot on a college team, remember that there are lots of options to stay active and engaged in a chosen sport. Many institutions, especially larger universities, have extensive, highly competitive intercollegiate club teams, college insiders say. These clubs, which operate outside of the NCAA, offer 2 million college athletes the opportunity to compete against other colleges, without the pressure of intensive practice and game schedules. For many competitive athletes, club sports are actually a better option. Visit NIRSA, a collegiate recreation association, for more information.

While the athletic recruiting process can be time-consuming and overwhelming, parents and students should not be intimidated. If your child has natural skills, it is very likely that he or she will find a place on a college-level team without difficulty. Most importantly—make sure your student-athlete is passionate about the sport, as passion drives success. LWT SPRING 2014 LIFE WITH TEENS

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CAREER TRACK

ALTERNATIVE CAREERS IN SPORTS

BY S O PH IE B O RDE N

A career as a professional athlete is a dream for many teens. Most of them start playing sports as young as 5 years old and fall in love with their game of choice. When they see big, professional, famous athletes on TV, they most likely aspire to be in their shoes one day. It is often in high school that many teens realize the odds are not in their favor. In fact, according to the NCAA, it is estimated that only 1 in 16,000 high school athletes attains a professional career in sports. That being said, your teenager should not lose all aspirations for a career in sports—there are many options other than playing professionally.

Professional athletes are just a small part of the world of sports. In creating and sustaining the empire of a sports league, the “behind-the-scenes” players are just as important as the professional athletes we see on TV. These careers in sports are easier to achieve, but just as sports-centric as being a pro. Here are some occupations that your teen may have never considered in sports:

1. Statistician

Academic sports statisticians analyze data to look for trends. A statistical recorder attends sporting events and records the data in real time. These stats are then used in newspapers and during broadcasts, demonstrating a team or player’s abilities.

2. Agent

A sports agent helps market athletes or products associated with an athlete to promote that player’s career.

Agents are responsible for communications with team owners, managers, coaches, and other individuals.

3. Public Relations Manager

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Experts in sports PR coordinate the flow of information from teams to the press and provide the public with sports news, team data, and player information. They also plan major events, charity gatherings, and press conferences.

LIFE WITH TEENS SPRING 2014

4. Advertising Account

Executive In sports, an AE helps sell tickets and works with brands and clients who advertise with the team or team players.

5. Photojournalist

Sports photojournalists have the exciting job of capturing the upclose-and-personal action shots at sporting events. Many sports photographers work for magazines or newspapers, but also often for advertising purposes.

6. Coaching & Scouting

Whether at the high school, college, or professional team level, teaching skills and sportsmanship can be one of the most rewarding careers in sports. Or your teen can be a successful scout—the mediator between coaches, colleges, and teams.

7. Broadcaster

Although many broadcasters are retired athletes, anyone can be in this field and narrate the game.

8. Sport Psychologist

A sport psychologist studies how psychological factors affect performance and how participation in sports and exercise affect psychological and physical factors. They also prepare athletes mentally for top performance.

9. Physical Therapist

Many teams employ full-time physical therapists for their players. You can also practice this profession privately with a high success rate.

10. Biomechanist

Biomechanics (sometimes known as kinesiology) is the study of the laws of physics as applied to physical activity, exercise, and sports. Biomechanics can be used to explain how muscles, bones, and joints react under certain conditions and improve performance using motion analysis techniques. Through scientific analysis, biomechanists can provide valuable guidance for athletes to improve their skills and ultimately their performance.

Most of these professions require associate’s, bachelor’s or master’s degrees but don’t require athletic performance. Furthermore, some of these professions could be just as lucrative as being a professional athlete. CareerCast, which puts together an annual list of best and worst jobs, takes physical and emotional stress into account when measuring the “best” careers.

According to a Forbes article on the “10 Best Careers in Sports,” “Players don’t even make the list because, according to CareerCast’s methodology, which takes into account physical demands and the need to travel, those jobs aren’t as desirable as ones like sport psychologist or physical therapist.”

Besides being a professional athlete at the highest level, remind your teen that there are many other important and fulfilling careers in sports. They can be just as influential on the sideline, in the broadcast booth, negotiating contracts, planning events, or in sports medicine. And, any of these professions can be achieved through planning and hard work.

No athleticism required. LWT

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SPRING 2014 LIFE WITH TEENS

23

TIMELY

TOPIC

A MEDICAL

MARIJUANA DISPENSARY

Is Coming to a Town Near You:

Should You Be Concerned?

BY V I C K I R I T T E R B A N D

ike many parents, Lisa Bonaquist talks with her two teenagers about marijuana. When her 16-year-old argues that compared to alcohol, it’s relatively safe, the Saratoga, New York, mother has a simple retort: “It’s illegal and if you get caught, there are consequences.”

At least for now.

New York may someday follow in the footsteps of 20 states and the District of Columbia, where marijuana is not quite as illegal as it once was. In these places, physicians may now authorize patients to use medical marijuana for certain purposes, like relieving nausea caused by chemotherapy or treating chronic pain. New York is poised to launch a pilot program that will allow up to 20 hospitals to distribute medical marijuana for some serious illnesses.

Meanwhile, recreational marijuana is now legal in Colorado and Washington for adults 21 and older.

What does the loosening of marijuana laws mean for teenagers and families in these states? As attitudes toward marijuana grow more liberal, will this affect pot use in young people? Should parents be concerned, and if so, what can they do?

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LIFE WITH TEENS SPRING 2014

Do Relaxed Marijuana Laws Lead to Increased Use? Nationwide, marijuana use by teenagers has been rising slowly for several years. In 2013, one in 15 high school seniors was a daily or near-daily user.

That year, about 13 percent of 8th graders, 30 percent of 10th graders, and 36 percent of 12th graders had used marijuana in the past 12 months, according to the University of Michigan’s Monitoring the Future (MTF) study, which has been tracking legal and illicit drug use by Americans since 1975. The study also found that teens’ perception of marijuana’s risks has decreased in recent years, a trend that addiction specialists believe will likely lead to more young people using in the future.

Is there a connection between the legalization of medical marijuana in some states and these trends?

Many who work in the addiction field say absolutely “Yes.” “I’m very concerned about the legalization of medical marijuana as it relates to young people,” says

Kevin Hill, M.D., an addiction psychiatrist at McLean Hospital in Massachusetts and Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. “Medical marijuana sends the wrong message. The implication is that it is safe. The marijuana available today is 15 times stronger than what these kids’ parents were exposed to.

And the price will go down as access increases. Easier.

Stronger. Cheaper. Those three things are reasons to be concerned.”

The MTF study also found that of the 12th graders who had used marijuana in the 12 months prior to the survey and live in states where medical marijuana is legal, 34 percent said that one of their sources of cannabis was another person’s prescription.

The Research What does the research say about the link between medical marijuana legalization and teen use? You can count on one hand—actually, one finger—the number of published, peer-reviewed studies looking at this connection. Furthermore, the study’s conclusions are open to debate. The 2011 study found that in the 16 states that had legalized marijuana up until then, adolescent marijuana use was higher than average. But there’s a caveat: In half of those states, even before legalization, teen use was already higher than average. Several other researchers questioned the study’s methods, so they did new research. The new study found the opposite conclusion: that medical marijuana laws do not result in increased teen pot smoking. The first authors disagreed with the new findings.

Nevertheless, Paul Armentano, deputy director of the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (NORML), a non-profit that advocates for the legalization of responsible marijuana use by adults, believes liberalization of marijuana laws does not affect smoking rates among young people. He asserts, “It goes back to the 1970s, when 12 states experimented with decriminalization and you didn’t see a rise in use. The thinking was that if you reduce the penalties, you’ll send a message that marijuana use is okay and attitudes will change and there will be an explosion in marijuana use. That never came to fruition.”

Teen Use While scientists debate the national studies, Jo Morrissey, a project manager for 21 Reasons, a substance abuse prevention program in Portland, is clear about what’s going on in Maine, where medical marijuana has been legal since 1999. Usage went up in Portland—the state’s largest city— after the pot laws were relaxed further in 2009. “When that happened, the number of Portland teenagers in grades 9 through 12 who had used in the past 30 days went from 23 to 28 percent,” says Morrissey. “Those who use marijuana as youths are more susceptible to use disorders—dependence in general. Instead of learning how to deal with stress by meditating, exercising, or listening to music, their first go-to is a substance and that tends to stick.”

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Marijuana by the Numbers One in 15 high school seniors is a daily or near-daily user of marijuana. About 13 percent of 8th graders, 30 percent of 10th graders, and 36 percent of 12th graders have used marijuana in the past 12 months.

While marijuana can be addictive, scientists generally agree that only 9 percent of pot smokers will develop a serious addiction. That’s compared to 32 percent of tobacco users, 23 percent of heroin users, 17 percent of cocaine users, and 15 percent of alcohol users.

The mean concentration of THC, the psychoactive ingredient in marijuana, more than doubled from 1993 to 2008.

Sources: Monitoring the Future study, Psychology Today; The New York Times; Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences

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LIFE WITH TEENS WINTER 2013 LIFE WITH TEENS SPRING 2014

Professionals who work with teenagers emphasize that their developing brains make them particularly vulnerable to the effects of marijuana. “Between 12 and 15, there’s all this amazing neuronal growth going on, especially in the prefrontal cortex, which affects judgment, risk taking, and decision making,” says Jan Hamilton, a psychiatric nurse practitioner in Arizona—where medical marijuana has been legal since 2010. She’s also the founder of Doorways, an Arizona-based outpatient mental health treatment center for adolescents and young adults. “A quarter to half of the kids we see are using it or have used it. While it’s not a big problem for a lot of our patients, I do see kids who end up losing their motivation and experiencing school failure because of memory.

They have difficulty paying attention and pretty soon they’re skipping school.”

The Legal Point of View Carolyn Witkus, a family law lawyer in Colorado, where medical and recreational marijuana is now legal, views the relaxing of marijuana laws and attitudes from a different perspective. She sees it as a potential source of conflict in families where parents have differing attitudes toward pot smoking. And that friction can intensify when parents are divorcing.

“It’s a huge problem in custody issues,” says Witkus, a shareholder with the law firm Gutterman Griffiths PC. “It used to be ‘Dad is smoking pot. We need to look more closely at his time with the kids. He’s using illegal

drugs and he doesn’t care about the consequences.’ Now it’s more the equivalent of saying, ‘Mom’s having a glass of wine after dinner.’”

But it does still raise issues, says Witkus. “How reliable is the stoned parent? How do we feel about Mom getting in the car to take the 14-year-old to band practice when she’s been smoking pot or Dad supervising a slumber party for a bunch of 12-year-olds when he’s smoking pot in the backyard?”

And unlike alcohol use, where a Breathalyzer can quantify impairment, marijuana use cannot yet be measured precisely, according to Witkus.

Advice for Parents Should parents in states where medical or recreational marijuana is legal—or may someday be— despair? What can they do to protect their teens?

Talk to them, advise substance abuse experts. “Personally, as a mom of two teenagers, I have ongoing open conversations with my kids,” says Morrissey. “These public conversations about legalizing marijuana are an awesome opportunity to have conversations with your kids about what your expectations are. Have these talks early and often. And discuss what the consequences of use could be—and not just the disciplinary consequences. They have to understand the health and well-being consequences as well.”

Morrissey also believes that as teens get older, parents should listen more than talk. She advises, “Ask them what they are seeing, hearing, and thinking about with regard to drugs. Let them lead the conversations.” LWT

VOLUNTEER

SPOTLIGHT

Amazing Teen: Jordyn Schara It’s Never Too Late to Give Back

BY S O PH IE B O RDEN

Jordyn at one of her WI P2D2 drop boxes.

hat were you doing when you were 14 years old? Most of us were entering high school, spending time with friends, arguing with our parents about curfew, and shopping for the newest trend. Jordyn Schara, a Wisconsin teen, probably did not have time to do many of these things when she was 14. Instead, she was creating her first community service project.

Jordyn founded Project READ (Reading Equipment for America’s Defenders) with her brother when she turned 14. The Schara siblings shipped over 1,800 pounds of books, candy, and other reading materials to troops overseas. That same year, Jordyn educated herself on the prescription drug problem in the United States, discovering that over 2.1 million teens ages 12 to 17 abuse prescription drugs. Her second community service project, WI P2D2 (Wisconsin Prescription Pill and Drug Disposal), works to dispose of drugs in an environmentally friendly and safe way. On top of these two projects, Jordyn started HOPE (Helping Our Peers Excel), encouraging other teens to start their own community service programs, and ultimately won over $20,000 in grants. It’s not a surprise that she was chosen by CocaCola to carry a torch at the London Olympics.

When I heard Jordyn’s story, I couldn’t help but compare her to other teenagers. It is rare for a 14-yearold to give Christmas presents to charity instead of keeping them for herself. Was she born with this inherently selfless instinct? Or was her love for service something she taught herself over a period of time?

I called Jordyn to get the scoop on her passion for community service and her drive to always do more. Not only is she one of the most ambitious teenagers I’ve ever spoken to, but she is also one of the most down-to-earth.

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It seems as though you inherently think about others over yourself. What’s a good way for someone to become community service oriented?

Jordyn: (Laughing) I wouldn’t call myself inherently selfless. The first community service project I did was in 5th grade, and at first I thought it was dumb and really time consuming. But after watching how community service affected people, it clicked in my mind. I thought to myself, “This makes sense, this is what I want to do.”

I come from a middle-class family, and I have a good education. If I’m not using those gifts to help people, they aren’t worth anything. The best advice I could give would be to “treat others how you want to be treated.” I know it’s a cliché, but it’s true. If I weren’t privileged, I would want others to help me, too. If you can help people, why wouldn’t you?

Why is community service so important for teens?

Jordyn: All teenagers should be helping each other to make the world better. Although the government is very important in terms of helping the less fortunate, it lacks the personal touch of a grassroots organization. Teens need to take part in these organizations to help as many people as they can. More direct impact can be made with a smaller operation.

Tell me about the Olympics. Was the experience completely unreal?

Jordyn: The Olympics were absolutely amazing. I can’t describe the feeling. Carrying the torch was the most incredible experience of my life. I met Summer Sanders and Michelle Kwan, who are also deeply connected to community service. They were so inspirational.

It’s been about 4 years since you founded your first community service organization.

What are you up to now?

Jordyn: I’m a freshman at the University of Wisconsin at Madison. My hope is to study broadcast journalism, but I need to wait and apply to the journalism school at Madison. When I was 14, I was on the local news for one of my projects, and the anchor let me talk to people over the microphone. For the first time ever, I got to talk to a huge audience. I’ve always been interested in people’s stories, which is why I want to be an anchor someday.

Being involved in community service and non-profit organizations has really helped my public speaking skills, and I know that’s something I want to do as a career.

Do you have any new projects going on?

Jordyn carrying the torch at the London Olympics in 2012.

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LIFE WITH TEENS SPRING 2014

Jordyn: WI P2D2 is still at large. I received more grant money to open up more disposable drug programs in different parts of the state. It’s so exciting to help people in my local community as well as all across the state.

It has also been amazing watching the program grow, since so many people doubted me when I first started.

Anything else you want to share?

Jordyn: It is important to know that no matter who you are, you can make a difference. LWT

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HEALTH &

WELLNESS

MORE THAN A

“BAD DAY” Paying Attention to Depression in Teens

BY D E BRA B R ADL E Y R U DE R

Tips for Parents eorge was in middle school when something inside him changed. He was bored in school and had few friends.

Sleeping was a challenge. He wished he’d never been born—because he wouldn’t feel so awful. Finally, he spoke up to his parents, and together they realized he might be suffering from depression. They got professional help, and after several months of medication and talk therapy, George began to feel like himself again.

“Kids with depression think nobody else goes through it,” says George, now in college. “You feel like nobody knows you. Having [professionals] who understood what I was going through was helpful.”

Depression is a common but serious mental illness. It can range from mild to severe and interfere with your teenager’s activities, relationships, and well-being. An estimated 11 percent of adolescents in the U.S. experience depression by the time they turn 18, with girls nearly three times more likely to be affected, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. Depression is underdiagnosed and undertreated; experts say only one in five depressed teenagers gets the help he or she needs.

Teen depression can be hard to recognize. After all, we expect kids to be moody as they face the physical, emotional, and academic pressures and turmoil that accompany growing up. Teenagers with depression don’t “seem themselves”—for example, they’re unusually grouchy or sad, or they’ve lost interest in their normal activities for 30

LIFE WITH TEENS SPRING 2014

• Educate yourself about signs and symptoms of depression, including feeling unusually sad, hopeless, worthless, irritable, angry, anxious, withdrawn, restless, or guilty.

• Notice changes in sleep, appetite, or hygiene; concentration problems; persistent aches and pains; lack of energy; or thoughts about death. Follow up if behaviors last two or more weeks.

• Encourage open communication without pushing. You might say, “If you ever want to talk, I’m here for you, no matter what.”

• Be compassionate, not judgmental.

• Offer hope for getting better.

• Act early. Don’t assume others are handling the problem.

• Take suicidal thoughts or behaviors very seriously.

• Seek help from a healthcare professional, such as your primary-care doctor or a child psychiatrist. Encourage college students to use support services on campus.

Sources: National Institute of Mental Health; NYU Child Study Center; Joanna Bridger, LICSW; Beth Pinals, Ed.D.

at least two weeks. Their grades may be slipping, or their appetite, hygiene, or sleep patterns may have changed. Other symptoms include headaches or stomachaches, feelings of despair and worthlessness, and socializing with fewer or different friends.

Depression is much more than a “bad day,” notes Elise Jamison, a 16-year-old from Ohio who was diagnosed with depression at age 14. “We all have bad days. I get it,” she writes eloquently on HuffPost Teen.

“There is a humongous difference between temporary sadness and dissatisfaction with your life and the sinking desperation that is depression. It sucks when you don’t fit in and you are lonely, but that isn’t depression. Depression is the dark emptiness you feel that makes you believe you can contribute nothing to anyone or anything. You feel like your life means nothing to anyone.”

When it comes to causes, depression is still a bit of a mystery. Scientists suspect a combination of genetic, biological, environmental, and psychological factors. But experts agree that teen depression can lead to—or be associated with—a host of other problems, such as drug and alcohol use; eating disorders; self-loathing; risky behaviors like cutting, unsafe sex, or driving out of control; violence; and suicide.

Suicide is the third-leading cause of death among young people ages 10 to 24, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The vast majority of people who take their own lives have an underlying mental illness, often depression, that may be co-occurring with other issues, notes Joanna Bridger, LICSW, Clinical Services Director at Riverside Trauma Center in Needham, MA. Her organization leads trainings across Massachusetts to help schools and communities cope with youth suicides and other traumatic events.

Increasingly, programs are taking place around the country to lift the stigma around mental illness and help kids feel less alone.

Providing Help and Hope There are several types of depression (including major depressive disorder and the milder, but chronic, dysthymia), and treatment depends on the situation. Most teen depression can be treated effectively with antidepressant medication, psychotherapy, or a combination; research in adolescents suggests the combined approach works best. And don’t wait—if you see signs of depression, intervene quickly.

A handful of antidepressants, which act on brain chemicals, are approved for teens, and their use should be closely monitored. Various types of psychotherapy (talk therapy) exist, and it’s important to find a good match, as therapy is a relationship that requires trust and connection. Formal treatment aside, physical activities such as dance, yoga, or team sports can also make a significant difference.

One of the most important things parents can do? Ask, listen, and observe your child’s emotional health on a regular basis, whether or not you suspect a problem, therapists advise.

If your teenager starts showing symptoms, point out the specific behavior—for example, “I noticed you haven’t been seeing your friends as much as you used to, and I’m wondering if something’s going on.” If your teen is being self-destructive, avoid saying, “Don’t do that!” and instead, help him/her understand why they turned to that behavior (it may, for example, provide short-term relief from emotional pain) and whether there are alternatives. “The idea is to engage the prefrontal cortex, the part of their brain that has the capacity for solving problems and thinking rationally,” Bridger explains. “That part is not fully functional when your kid is in distress.”

The bottom line is to have hope, Bridger says. “Let your teenager know that depression is a treatable illness. It is an illness like diabetes. They shouldn’t feel ashamed, and they shouldn’t be afraid to ask for help. There is help.’” LWT

Resources • Families for Depression Awareness: www.familyaware.org • Samariteens: Peer support for teens feeling depressed, lonely, or stressed. 800-252-TEEN (8336) or www.samaritanshope. org/teen-helpline.html • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (8255) or www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org • National Institute of Mental Health: www.nimh.nih.gov/health

Debra Bradley Ruder is a Massachusetts-based freelance writer specializing in healthcare and education issues, as well as a mom of two young men.

SPRING 2014 LIFE WITH TEENS

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VIEW POINTS

teens and

BY RANDI MAZZE LLA

ani Silverstein was a freshman in high school when she first thought about getting a tattoo. Silverstein says, “I am extremely interested in art. I always found amazement in certain designs and pictures. Tattoos are art, and I am all for having art on my body.”

Once seen as somewhat alternative, tattoos have become a more mainstream form of self-expression. Celebrities from David Beckham to Justin Bieber have tattoos all over their bodies. Jodie Michalak, Beauty and Cosmetology Editor for About.com, says, “The popularity and acceptance of body art has certainly influenced the younger generation to hop onboard.”

A 2013 report from the Pew Research Center study says that 36 percent of Americans between the ages of 18 and 25 have tattoos. While most states require teens to be over 18, some states allow minors as young as 14–16 to get a tattoo with parental consent—either written or officially notarized. Often, parents have to also accompany their child to the parlor.

What Motivates Teens to Get Tattoos?

The motivation for getting a tattoo varies among teens.

Eileen Kennedy-Moore, Ph.D., co-author of the book Smart Parenting for Smart Kids: Nurturing Your Child’s True Potential, says, “Teens may want to get a tattoo as a statement of their individuality or to commemorate an important event.”

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LIFE WITH TEENS SPRING 2014

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Silverstein, now a freshman in college, has gotten two tattoos so far. She says, “I knew I wanted my first tattoo to be words—either a quote or song lyrics that had special meaning to me. The Beatles song ‘Let It Be’ always lifted me up, and that saying is one I’ve tried to live by. So my first tattoo is the words ‘Let It Be’ on my forearm.”

Troy Pallitto also wanted his first tattoo to be of words that spoke to him. Pallitto, now 25, recalls, “I was 16 when I first thought about getting a tattoo, but had to wait until I was 18 because my parents would not let me. My first tattoo was ‘Hold My Own’ because I wasn’t going to let anything hold me back in life. At the time I thought I was going to work in the business world, so I had it done where it could easily be covered if I needed to.”

While some teens contemplate getting a tattoo for years, the decision can also be impulsive. Silverstein explains, “Like many teenage girls, I love to doodle. I was sitting at lunch one day with a few friends and I was drawing a flower on my wrist. I looked across the street, saw a tattoo parlor, and decided, ‘Why not?’ ”

Should Parents Give Their Teen Permission to Get a Tattoo?

The biggest mistake parents can make when a teen says they want to get a tattoo is to dismiss or demean them. Rather than flat out saying “No,” parents should use the opportunity to open up a dialogue with their teen. Find out how long they have been thinking about getting a tattoo, why it is important to them, and what they are trying to express. Michalak says, “No matter how young, a person is still a person and they deserve love, respect, and acceptance.”

While being open is important, parents should not rush to give a teen under 18 permission to get a tattoo. Michalak asserts, “Personally, I think all teens should wait until they are at least 18 years old before getting tattooed. Tattoos define who you are and usually pay some respect to life experiences.

I believe you need to live a little and have your heart broken at least once before you even know who you truly are.”

Azadeha Aalai, Ph.D., an adjunct professor at George Washington University, comments, “Parents should try to convey to their teen the practical implications of what they are doing. Teens are likely thinking in the moment and not anticipating how they may feel about the tattoo five or even ten years down the line.” Although tattoos may be removed, the process is usually costly, painful, and not always effective.

Kennedy-Moore explains, “Developmentally, a teen’s job is to figure out who they are, but their sense of self can change a lot over the teen years. Acknowledge and respect your teen’s desire to form an identity, but encourage less-permanent forms of self-expression, such as changing hairstyles or clothing.” Temporary tattoos are another good option.

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LIFE WITH TEENS SPRING 2014

Staying Safe Regardless of personal feelings, parents do want to make sure that if their teen is getting a tattoo, they go to a reputable and clean establishment. Unsanitary tattoo practices can result in teens getting serious skin infections and diseases including hepatitis C. Make sure to do some research online before you choose a tattoo parlor or artist, and read customer reviews.

Will Teens Regret Getting a Tattoo?

Whether or not a teen will regret getting a tattoo cannot be predicted. According to a 2008 Harris Poll, 83 percent of people with tattoos do not regret their decisions. But of those that do regret it, 20 percent say it is because they were too young when they got the tattoo.

Aalai says, “Regardless of age, careful consideration should be made before embarking on inking one’s body permanently.” DeAnne Mullet, a mother of two teenagers, is in the process of having a tattoo removed—one she got in her early 20s. Within days, Mullet knew she had made a mistake. As she matured, Mullet grew more self-conscious of the tattoo and always worried about it showing at fancy parties—including her own wedding. Mullet says, “I think tattoos are tasteless. Plus, bodies and skin change over time and my tattoo looked worse each year.” Mullet brought her daughters with her to the laser removal sessions so they could see how painful it was.

Pallitto did not end up working in the business world and instead is in a creative field where tattoos are very much accepted. He has gone on to get many more tattoos. Pallitto says, “My tattoos tell the story of my life. I love how they look, and I love what they mean.” LWT

For more info on teens and tattoos, visit: National Conference of State Legislatures, State Laws on Tattooing and Body Piercing www.ncsl.org U.S. Food and Drug Administration www.fda.gov/cosmetics Tattoos/Body Piercings on About.Com www.Tattoo.About.com

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