March 31, 2021

THE TIMES-DELPHIC The weekly student newspaper of Drake University Vol. 140 | No. 17 | March 31, 2021

FEATURES

SPORTS

Drake sophomore and lighting designer Haley Piper breaks record for most lights used in a Drake performance.

The Drake Rowing team prepares for their first race on April 10.

One writer shares his thoughts on the month of April, with special commentary on April Fool’s Day and Easter.

Read more on page 3

Read more on page 5

Read more on page 8

COMMENTARY

timesdelphic.com

Historic Varsity Cinema plans to reopen in 2022

THE VARSITY CINEMA hopes to open in early 2022. The 104-year-old, historic theater will show arthouse and international films, as well as have other unique programming opportunities. New updates to the theater include an expanded menu and a new micro-cinema. PHOTO BY BRADY LOVIG | STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER Grace Hilscher Staff Writer grace.hilscher@drake.edu

Des Moines Film Society, a local film arts nonprofit, is setting out to save Des Moines’ last historic neighborhood theater, the Varsity Cinema.

Last year the film society took possession of the 104-year-old building located at the corner of University and 25th Street, and is currently over a third of the way through their efforts of raising funds to renovate and operate the Varsity Cinema.

When Des Moines Film Society was first founded in 2015 the goal was to grow the film culture in the city Director of Des Moines Film Society Ben Godar said. The ultimate goal of the organization has always been to own and operate its own theater.

When the last owners of the

Varsity announced they were closing the theatre in 2018, Godar said Des Moines Film Society saw it as a perfect place to become a base of operations.

“The Varsity is the last operating historic theater in Des Moines,” Godar said. “Originally there were downtown cinemas, but those are long gone, and the neighborhood cinemas have all closed except for the Varsity, which has been operating as a movie theater since 1938.”

The Varsity has been known as a cultural hub sharing more niche films instead of mainstream ones, Godar said.

“In terms of programming the main thing people can expect is the best first-run arthouse and international films,” Godar said. “We will go out of our way to program things that may not be the most popular or familiar, but provide exposure, provide a platform for those voices that

might not be heard otherwise, and that is important to us.”

Loretta Sieman, a Drake alumna ‘66 and fundraiser for the Varsity Cinema, agreed to join the project because she was at the Varsity Theater when it was at its prime.

“When I was there it was prime; it was the place everyone wanted to be. Seeing it take back its original character is exciting.”

“It’s exciting to see Bulldog Town coming back,” Sieman said. “When I was there it was prime; it was the place everyone wanted to be. Seeing it take

back its original character is exciting.”

The building was first transformed into a Coca-Cola bottling plant before becoming a theater. Since 1938 it has been a staple, especially for students who lived across the street.

“At night when there wasn’t a game or activity it was very common to go to the Varsity Theater,” said Sieman. “They had the best popcorn in town, and of course we were all avid Diet Coke and Coca-Cola drinkers.”

The historic essence will remain intact while the lobby is to be expanded, concessions will be upgraded with beer, wine and alcohol, and popcorn will return.

Godar said the renovations will also include the addition of Micro-Cinema on the second floor with roughly 45 seats.

The bathrooms will be made

more accessible and an elevator will be installed.

“To see Dogtown and the whole area revamped and come back to what it was is exciting,” Sieman said.

Des Moines Film Society is accepting many forms of donations and contributions including membership levels. There will be student memberships available when the theater is open in 2022. Other ways to get involved include subscribing to the newsletter at https:// varsitydesmoines.com/.

Those interested in volunteering can also become ambassadors for the Varsity Cinema to help share new information about the project and future programming.

“It is for you all, the Drake students,” Sieman said. “It is for the Drake family.”

to get vaccinated or to not get vaccinated?

Students discuss hopes, concerns about coronavirus vaccine

Erica Sawyer Staff Writer erica.sawyer@drake.edu

With distribution ramping up, the decision on whether to get the COVID-19 vaccine is on a lot of students’ minds.

According to the Iowa COVID-19 Vaccine information page, more than one million total doses have been administered as of March 14.

Lauren Sulentic is a first-year student at Drake University studying international business, said she has received both doses of the Moderna vaccine.

“I have increased risk of [catching] COVID because I have asthma,” Sulentic said.

Sulentic said she had an awareness of what the symptoms from the vaccine would be like because she has already had COVID-19.

“The first night was always the worst,” she said. “I started to feel really achy and I could feel myself breaking a fever.”

Sulentic said she experienced temporary side effects after both vaccines, but encourages others to get vaccinated regardless.

“I trust the science behind it,” Sulentic said. “I know that they’re not sure of the longterm side effects but the longterm side effects of COVID scare me more and I think they

should scare more people than they do.”

Sulentic said it took her lungs three or four months to recover from COVID-19 but she was fine the day after getting her vaccine. “[I feel relieved] knowing that I can go see my grandparents for the first time in a year because they just got vaccinated, too,” Sulentic said. “I just want to go back to normal.”

Jared Poortinga is a law, politics and society and history major at Drake. Unlike Sulentic, he does not want to get the COVID vaccine.

“I have two reasons why I would not like to get it,” Poortinga said. “One, it would be that in most of these vaccines they require embryonic cells to make them and I believe that it is morally wrong.”

Poortinga’s second reason for not wanting the vaccine is because he doesn’t feel it is necessary.

“I am 20 years old and of relatively good health. I have no pre-existing conditions so far that I know,” Poortinga said. “Being younger, being physically active, I don’t feel myself as someone at imminent risk of possibly dying from COVID-19, or even experiencing extremely severe symptoms.”

According to ABC News, the

Pfizer and Moderna vaccines use specialized cells originally derived from aborted fetal tissue in their early lab testing, but not in the vaccines themselves.

The new Johnson & Johnson vaccine “uses the cells as part of its existing manufacturing process.”

Ava Ressler is a first-year pharmacy student at Drake.

She received the Pfizer vaccine, getting her first dose on Dec. 28. She got the vaccine in Chillicothe, Ill. “I work in a nursing home there so that’s why I got it,” Ressler said.

Similarly to Sulentic, Ressler had the most severe symptoms after her second dose.

“The shot itself was really painless,” Ressler said. “I barely even felt it.”

According to Ressler, the only concern she had was that the long term effects of the vaccine aren’t known but “the pros outweigh the cons.”

“The main thing that people are worried about is the long term effects and they feel like it was rushed,” Ressler said.

“But the people who made the vaccine, it’s their literal job to take care of people. Why would they willingly okay the vaccine if it’s going to harm us in the long run?”

According to the Drake

GOVERNOR KIM REYNOLDS recently announced all adults in Iowa will be eligible to receive the COVID-19 vaccination as of April 5. GRAPHIC BY ALLYN BENKOWICH | STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

COVID-19 Updates, Drake students who have gotten their vaccine should email a scan or photographic proof of their vaccination card to dos@drake. edu as soon as they’ve received

twitter: @timesdelphic | instagram: draketimesdelphic | facebook: the times delphic

their final injection.

Drake is strongly encouraging students to receive the vaccine if and when they qualify.

News

NEWS

March 31, 2021 | Page 2

Blue Crew Dance Club takes on Dogtown After Hours Kay Awonaike Contributing Writer kay.awonaike@drake.edu

Blue Crew Dance Club’s contemporary dance performance at Dogtown Afterhours brought new energy and innovative choreography to the event.

Sonita Van Der Leeuw, Blue Crew Dance Club treasurer, said the process of putting the routine together took a significant amount of time.

“There was a lot of preparation gone into making sure everyone was comfortable and felt confident in the dance,” Van Der Leeuw said. “We practiced every Friday for three weeks and had a dress rehearsal the morning of the event to get the feel of the venue we will dance at.”

Throughout the dance creation, Blue Crew Dance Club’s sole focus was creating abstract movements that marinate with dramatic music.

“The song we used was called ‘Still’ the isosine remix

by Daughter; we wanted to find music that would be different from what we usually do,” Van Der Leeuw said.

Since Blue Crew Dance Club typically performs Jazz dances, this routine showcased something new that they have not done before.

Ollie Kress, Blue Crew Dance Club vice president, said how well organized Dogtown Afterhours was put together and the collaboration with the other performance groups.

Blue Crew Dance Club’s contemporary dance performance at Drake University’s Dogtown Dash event showcased fresh energy.

“It was so nice to see what other clubs and organizations are doing on campus,” Kress said. “The coordinators were very accommodating and made the process of performing fun and safe.”

As Blue Crew prepared for their performance, Dogtown Coordinator Mercedes Hendricks said how adaptable Blue Crew Dance Club set up space for them to perform.

“Blue Crew coming in early definitely made the event go smoother as they were the only dance group that performed, and the other coordinators and I couldn’t estimate the amount of space they needed,” Hendricks said. “I had no idea Blue Crew Dance Club was even an organization at Drake.

I loved being able to connect with you and give you a place to perform.”

When it was time for Blue Crew Dance Club to perform, they went into the first-floor formation until their music started playing.

Arielle Allen, Blue Crew Dance Club Executive Council member, said the moments before she walks out on the stage are exhilarating.

“The rush of performing always gets me pumped for a performance,” Allen said. “This performance, in particular, brought me so much joy as it’s the first time I’ve performed in

BLUE CREW DANCE CLUB recently performed at the Dogtown After Hours event, along with other organizations such as Fermata the Blue and D+ Improv. PHOTO BY KAY AWONAIKE

over a year.”

After Blue Crew Dance Club hit their final pose, the

audience cheered, with the dancers feeling proud of the performance they gave. The

combination of adrenaline and friends’ support made for a stunning performance.

Education students begin practicum assignments Maia Songer Staff Writer maia.songer@drake.edu

Students in the School of Education at Drake University began their practicum assignments in various classrooms in the Des Moines area this semester.

Grace Brunner, a first-year student majoring in elementary

education, is one of the students who has a practicum this semester.

“I’m at Carver Community School, which is part of the Des Moines Public School system,” Brunner said. “I am in a kindergarten classroom which is fully online, so the students are online and I’m also online observing them.”

Reed Nenonen, an

elementary education major, is enthusiastic about his inperson practicum at Morris Elementary School.

“I’m currently in a kindergarten classroom for my practicum experience, and I am fortunate in the chaos that is COVID-19 to be in-person and to be in-person with the students,” Nenonen said. “A lot of people are online and I am fortunate to

STUDENT REED NEONEN, an elementary education major, recently began his in-person practicum assignment at Morris Elementary School. PHOTO BY MAIA SONGER | STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

have the opportunity to directly interact with students and directly interact with my peer teacher.”

Brunner and Nenonen both have specific goals for their teaching careers which they feel the practicum experience assists with.

“I already feel like a year ahead of where I feel like most schools would be in terms of observing schools, and it’s good for the people who aren’t necessarily sure if they want to teach in the future.”

“I appreciate that Drake does the practicum as early as they do,” Nenonen said. “That is very uncommon, especially among larger schools, and even among many smaller private schools. I think that going into your first practicum tells you whether you want to be in the career or whether you need to redirect, and Drake gives you time to decide if this is where you want to go or if you need to redirect.”

Brunner agrees with Nenonen, comparing her education experience to that of her cousin.

“My cousin, who is a year older than me, is also in the Elementary Ed Program but at a different school back in Wisconsin, and I know that her practicum or student teaching experiences don’t start until sophomore spring semester,” Brunner said. “I’m already like a year ahead of where I feel like most schools would be in terms of observing schools, and it’s good for the people who aren’t necessarily sure if they want to teach in the future.”

Brunner and Nenonen’s comments on the advantage of having a practicum early are exemplified by the experience of Victoria Laramy, a firstyear elementary education major who is assigned to a

fourth-grade classroom for her practicum.

“At first, I was a little bit iffy on if I wanted to go into education and so this really solidified that because I was between education and social work,” Laramy said. “The first couple of weeks, I was like ‘yeah this is for sure what I want to do.’”

Getting a more direct experience has a certain benefit for education students at Drake University.

Laramy said her favorite part is watching the students’ interactions with the teacher and with each other.

Brunner even had the opportunity to lead a lesson.

“I was able to run a St. Patrick’s mini lesson last week,” Brunner said. “I just did a YouTube read aloud of how to catch a leprechaun and I had them watch that and then I had a bunch of questions to ask during the video. It was a lot of fun being in the teacher role for that day because the previous days I had just been observing.”

“A lot of people are online and I am fortunate to have the opportunity to directly interact with students and directly interact with my peer teacher.”

Nenonen focuses more on how his practicum has allowed him to progress in his goals.

“In the kindergarten classroom I’m still uncomfortable, and I’m trying to push myself towards a place where I’m more comfortable there,” Nenonen said. “I’m learning through failure, I’m learning through success, I’m learning through observing, and I’ve enjoyed directly interacting with students because this interaction with the students is why I want to go into the career in the first place.”

Features Designer in the spotlight FEATURES

March 31, 2021| Page 3

Sophomore breaks record for most lights used in a Drake performance Cassie Schoene Staff Writer cassandra.schoene@drake.edu

The Drake University Theatre Department set a record during “Songs for a New World.” Lighting designer sophomore Haley Piper used the most lights ever for a Drake performance.

“I had joked around with the previous record-holder, but it wasn’t really my goal to break the previous record,” Piper said.

“The number of fixtures was simply a byproduct of my desire to make each song have a unique look and atmosphere. It was really difficult to accommodate that many fixtures with the electrical and spatial constraints of the Studio, so I doubt my record will be beaten any time soon.”

Piper started designing in November, and the whole process took three months. The end result was a lighting design with a record-breaking 146 light fixtures.

“They created designs that complemented each song and every actor very well, and that is something that not all lighting designers can do.”

“I started by listening to each song and getting a feel for the mood and other elements I wanted to define with lighting,” Piper said. “Once I had a decent idea of the ‘look’ I wanted to go for with each song, I started

SOPHOMORE HALEY PIPER broke the record for the most lights used in a Drake theater performance with their lighting design for ‘Songs for a New World’. PHOTO COURTESY OF MILES FRITZ, DRAKE THEATER ARTS DEPARTMENT FACEBOOK PAGE

drafting my light plot, which shows the placement of each lighting fixture. Then, I was able to program the cues and build each look using previsualization software, while my electricians who were on campus during J-Term took my plot and hung each fixture accordingly.”

Piper said their design was influenced by professional lighting designers they admire, like Howell Binkley’s designs for the musicals Hamilton and Come from Away, and from lighting designers they have worked with.

“Theatre is, at its heart, a collaborative art form,” Piper said.

Piper also worked closely

with and got ideas from Director Adam Yankowy and Technical Director John Pomeroy.

“I worked a lot with Adam Yankowy, the director of the show, to be faithful to his vision of what the show should be,” Piper said. “He was very gracious in giving me a lot of creative freedom, but we still wanted to make sure that everything worked together.

Roy, our technical director, also offered me a couple of really cool ideas that I wouldn’t have thought of on my own.”

Yankowy said that Piper handled the lighting design process smoothly and that it was always an “easy-going conversation” between them.

“They created designs that complemented each song and every actor very well, and that is something that not all lighting designers can do,” said Sarah Aubin, who performed in the production.

Piper said that watching the cues live for the first time was “magical.”

“There is such a beauty to the way light interacts with the people and objects in a space that the virtual simulation can’t quite match,” Piper said.

The entire cast and crew got to experience the performance from a new perspective thanks to COVID restrictions. Because the show was streamed online, they were able to watch the

production after performing it. Aubin said the lighting was not something they were able to fully notice until watching it later.

“Being on stage, it’s hard to really grasp the extent of the lighting design, but watching the show provided me with even more appreciation for Haley and their work,” Aubin said. “The end result was even better than I expected and really brought the whole show together.”

People who work with Piper have great confidence in them.

“Haley has a bright future ahead of them,” Yankowy said.

Alumna spotlight: Ellie Detweiler Charleigh Reinardy Staff Writer charleigh.reinardy@drake.edu

Just as the SJMC professors encouraged Ellie Detweiler, she encourages other students to be the best advocates for themselves.

Detweiler is from Marion, Iowa, and she graduated from Xavier High School in Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

When Detweiler was ready to apply for colleges, she was hoping for a small Midwestern college with a high-ranked journalism and communications program. With the outstanding journalism school, small class sizes and close proximity to her hometown, Drake fit the bill.

Detweiler toured the campus twice before making her final decision.

“I met with former professor David Wright and he talked me through the different paths the school offered and what classes I would be taking freshman year,” Detweiler said.

“That second visit and one-toone conversation secured my thoughts that Drake would be the best path for me.”

As a first-year at Drake, Detweiler knew she was going down the journalism path and planned to pursue a public relations major. She eventually added a second major, sociology, and a minor in marketing.

While in her time at Drake, Detweiler worked as a designer for Drake Mag, became involved with the Drake Public Relations Student Society of America and served as Executive Member of the Disability Action and Awareness Committee.

Detweiler had three internships while at Drake.

She was a Marketing Intern for the Des Moines Community Playhouse, a Communications Intern at Des Moines Performing Arts and a General Press Intern at The John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts in Washington, D.C. “I’m forever thankful for Drake SJMC’s push for students to get out in the field so early,” Detweiler said. “It seems daunting at first to put yourself out there with no experience but the professors are endlessly encouraging and helped me with mock interview practices and countless resume and cover letter revisions.”

Drake SJMC professors taught Detweiler how to advocate for herself in ways she never thought she could.

“With every internship as I moved up the ladder, including my current one, I acknowledged I always knew I could make it to that point,” Detweiler said.

“Each job I was hired to was filled with excitement and nervousness but I never wanted myself to think ‘they made a mistake’ and I wasn’t worthy of doing something that seemed so far out of reach.”

Detweiler offers a strong piece of advice for current and future Drake students to believe in themselves.

“Just as the SJMC professors encouraged me, I encourage other students to be the best advocates for themselves,” Detweiler said. “You have to believe you belong in the space just as much as anyone else.”

Detweiler graduated a semester early, in December of 2019 and accepted an internship

DRAKE ALUMNA ELLIE DETWEILER encourages students to advocate for and believe in themselves. PHOTO COURTESY OF ELLIE DETWEILER

in New York City at her dream company, DKC/O&M. Sadly, two and a half months later COVID-19 hit and Detweiler had to move home to Marion to resume her internship virtually. In need of extra cash, Detweiler began

working as a nanny and tutor in August and continues to work both jobs full-time now.

“I hit my year anniversary at O&M last week and it was a surreal feeling,” Detweiler said.

“I first heard about O&M my sophomore year of high school

and they had been secured as my ‘dream job’ for six years.

I applied for their internship program sophomore year at Drake and hung my ‘rejection’ letter on my bulletin board all throughout college.”

FEATURES

Features

March 31, 2021 | Page 4

Professor creates podcast as teaching tool Andrew Kennard Staff Writer andrew.kennard@drake.edu

Drake political science professor David Skidmore’s podcast “U.S.-China: Searching for Common Ground” is broadening his students’ understanding of U.S.-China relations while addressing areas of both conflict and connection in the relationship between the two countries.

The students of the United States-China Relations course Skidmore teaches will listen to each episode of the podcast either live or recorded, according to the course syllabus. Each episode addresses a different aspect of the U.S.-China relationship, including security, superpower rivalry, technology, and agriculture, with questions posed by Skidmore and veteran journalist Kyle Munson to guest speakers. Skidmore said that students have half an hour to ask questions of the live speakers after the podcast has been recorded and are required to post reflections online about the interviews.

“Each speaker has its own subject, has its own ideals, has its own everything,” said Joshua Warner, a Drake sophomore and political science major in Skidmore’s class. “...And this is their life, so they give all their knowledge about it in like a 45-minute span, and you know, it’s a lot thrown at you at once, but in the end you take away a lot, and you understand a lot more at the end of it.”

Skidmore said while tensions between the U.S. and China have escalated over the past six to eight years, the past year has brought tensions “to another level.”

“The U.S. and China have some differing interests, and also, to some degree, some differing values, but before we commit ourselves to a generational Cold War struggle, it makes sense, I think, to step back and ask, you know, ‘What are some ways we can find some sort of common ground, that can, at least, counterbalance some of the conflicting interests?’,” Skidmore said.

Will Tsai, another student

PROFESSOR DAVID SKIDMORE created a podcast to aid students’ understanding of U.S.-China relations. PHOTO BY CHARLEIGH REINARDY

in Skidmore’s class, said that the conversational style of the podcast is helpful to students.

“Having a conversation, opposed to the lecture style, is really informative, and I’d say, like helps me, and I know helps other students retain information better,” Tsai said.

“Really contributes to our learning.”

Skidmore emphasized the importance of academic and cultural connections between the United States and China. He cited relationships between Chinese and American academics, the “hundreds of thousands” of Chinese students who study at American universities, and the Iowa Sister State relationship between Iowa and the Hebei province in China, which was discussed during the citizen diplomacy episode of the podcast.

“So there’s this underlying, I think, decades of peopleto-people connections that have been [built] up and that there’s still a lot of goodwill at that level,” Skidmore said.

“And I think that’s something to build on, if we can get the governments moving in a more positive direction.”

Skidmore said that the connections that he and Munson have made in China

and the United States gave them a network to draw upon when they needed speakers for the podcast. For an episode on politics, Skidmore welcomed Ren Junfeng, a former student of his and a professor of political science at Fudan University in Shanghai, China. During the podcast, Junfeng discussed his reflections from a visit to the 2020 Iowa Caucuses.

“Having a conversation, opposed to the lecture style, is really informative... and I know it helps other students retain information better.”

“I think the students enjoyed hearing a Chinese perspective on American politics. Like, one of his observations was that Americans on different sides—polarization—need to be more empathetic toward one another,” Skidmore said. “He thought we didn’t listen to one another very well, and we didn’t show enough empathy trying to understand the other side.”

Skidmore said that the “underlying cause” of tensions between the U.S. and China is the rise of Chinese power to compete with the United States economy, military interests in East Asia, and high-tech industries such as telecommunications and artificial intelligence.

Conversely, Skidmore said that the U.S. has suffered setbacks from the 2008 recession and the pandemic.

“So I think whenever a country is rising in power, its ambitions rise as well, so you get, you know, China’s in the South China Sea, and Taiwan, along with the border of India,” Skidmore said. “You can see China sort of testing its newfound power to try to achieve some objectives it’s had a long time, but which it was too weak to achieve in the past.”

Tsai said that “probably every speaker” so far on the podcast has brought up Taiwan, the South China Sea, or both. Skidmore cited China’s treatment of its Uighur Mulsim minority, its state-run economic model, its businesses’ thefts of American firms’ trade secrets, and political rights in Hong Kong as other important points of contention between the two countries.

“The Chinese reject any foreign interference in their domestic affairs, so it’s an issue where they won’t really talk about it with us,” Skidmore said. “And they think that when we bring it up, that we’re trying to undermine the rule of the Communist Party, and that’s unacceptable from their standpoint. But from our standpoint, what they’re doing is an affront to global values, and even to commitments they’ve made through various human rights treaties.”

While Skidmore acknowledged the U.S. and China’s differing interests, he said that the two countries depend on each other so much economically that the two countries are “sort of stuck with one another.”

He also outlined areas of common ground, such as a desire to cooperate on climate change and prevent war in the Koreas.

“So I think there’s some areas where we can cooperate, there’s some areas where we can compromise, and there’s some areas where we can agree to disagree and just sort of manage the differences to make sure they don’t escalate or poison other things that we’re trying to do together,” Skidmore said.

Lack of spring break affects students’ midterm preparation Kay Awonaike Contributing Writer kay.awonaike@drake.edu

Drake University students say they feel mentally drained and stressed as midterm exams are approaching without a spring break.

Maggie Wildermuth, senior psychology major, said the pandemic completely changed her study habits and how she does homework.

“There are lots of distractions with dogs or my mom running a class,” Wildermuth said.

“Not having a spring break is extremely stressful because I can’t take a minute to regain energy to do well in my classes.”

Wildermuth’s workload has skyrocketed since her senior year started, and she said the virtual format is not conducive

to learning.

“In my psychology classes, my assignments are to read fivesix modules a week; however, this past semester, I’ve only managed to read two modules.”

Wildermuth said.

School pressures are boiling down on students as not having spring break is making them work overtime. Being in an online classroom can be exhausting and Zoom fatigue has been a significant factor into student decline in motivation.

“It seems that this semester professors are not being as accommodating since we have done remote classes for almost a year,” Wildermuth said.

For most students, this semester seems to be moving faster than the fall due to the long winter break and spring break being moved a week before classes resumed.

Students feel that they are working nonstop without any consideration from professors to give some days off.

“It just feels that professors are just not as understanding as they were in the fall,” Wildermuth said. “Some of my classes are very intense so having a break would do me a lot of good.”

Jenny Craig, a first-year

WITHOUT A SPRING BREAK, students report worsening study habits and fatigue. PHOTO COURTESY OF EFLON ON FLICKR | CHANGED TO BLACK AND WHITE AND CROPPED

international relations major, also said not having spring break has affected her midterm exam preparation.

“Not having a spring break is extremely stressful because I can’t take a minute to regain energy to do well in my classes,” Craig said. “I feel that the

mental health days Drake gives us are pretty useless since I still have homework and some classes still meet.”

The lack of time off Drake is giving to its students is making midterm exams even more challenging than in previous years. Students feel that

midterms exams came rather quickly and desperately need a break to regroup and release pent-up frustrations.

“I’ve been very frustrated and it’s also very tiring to have classes back to back with little to no break,” Craig said.

SPORTS

Sports

March 31, 2021 | Page 5

Rowing team prepares for upcoming season

THE DRAKE ROWING TEAM’S EARLY MORNING PRACTICE PRE-COVID BEFORE A RACE. With the first race of the season occurring on April 10, the team is focused on staying safe, healthy and playing to the best of their ability. PHOTO COURTESY OF DRAKE ATHLETICS

Madeline Cisneros Contributing Writer madeline.cisneros@drake.edu

The Drake Rowing Team Prepares for First Race on April 10 The Drake University rowing team is eager to compete in the first race of the season on April 10 after not being able to compete the previous year due to the pandemic.

“With last year’s spring season getting canceled just as it was about to start and our fall season also getting canceled, most of our team hasn’t gotten the chance to race yet,” said Charles DiSilvestro, the head coach of the Drake rowing team. “Through it all our team has stayed strong and come

together very well.”

Kate Desmond, a first-year student majoring in business studies and a member of the Drake rowing team, is excited to experience racing for the first time.

“I’m excited to just get to go and travel with my team and get to do all the fun stuff relating to that,” Desmond said.

“I am excited also to go to the competitions to see what it’s really like to race and to push that hard and to have a lot of our hard work pay off.”

Hedera Belmond, a first-year student majoring in writing and a member of the rowing team, said her favorite part about rowing is when everyone in the boat is in sync and they are rowing at a fast speed; it is satisfying when everyone

is working together in that moment.

Due to COVID-19, the rowing season has been challenging for the coaches and team members.

“Making sure we have face coverings at all times, adapting to the changes COVID brought, not being able to practice and race together have been the biggest challenges to our team,” DiSilvestro said.

The members of the team were unable to get the training they needed when quarantine occurred at the start of the pandemic last year.

“A lot of us weren’t able to get the actual training that we usually get, so it was definitely like a learning curve getting back into the swing of things,” said Lindsay York, a sophomore majoring in zoo

and conservation science and a member of the rowing team.

The rowing team has also had to alter practice times.

“One of the challenges that I know the coaches have is that we have to get screened for COVID before every practice, which is just filling out a basic questionnaire and getting a wrist band, but that means we need people to screen us,” Desmond said. “And so that means we haven’t been able to start practice as early as they have in past years.”

Staying physically active is important during the pandemic, according to DiSilvestro.

“When everyone was quarantined in their homes it was difficult to keep active,” DiSilvestro said. “Once the quarantine was lifted it allowed

the athletes to get back to working out, which helped them physically and mentally.”

York has high hopes for the season.

“I would really love if we could win conference and go to the finals,” York said. “I think that would be really fun and an awesome time if we could actually do that because we haven’t done it in several years.”

Rowing has given its members a sense of community during a time of uncertainty.

“Me going into school instantly having a group of people that I can talk to and I can become friends with, that’s been really nice,” Belmond said.

“It keeps a sense of community in a time when that’s really important.”

Women’s tennis gains momentum as season continues

AFTER A SERIES OF CLOSE GAMES AND HARD LOSSES, THE WOMEN’S TENNIS TEAM IS FINALLY GETTING TO A PLACE THEY WANT TO BE. After a match against Marquette this weekend, the team is feeling optimistic about the remainder of their season and are ready to dominate on the court in their next matches. PHOTO COURTESY OF DRAKE ATHLETICS

Darinka Stepan Staff Writer darinka.stepan@drake.edu

Drake women’s tennis was away this weekend in Milwaukee, competing in a dual match against Marquette University.

Heading into this match the Bulldogs’ record was 6-5. The Bulldogs were eager to compete against this Big East team.

“I am super grateful for the opportunity to be able to have yet another match to compete in,” senior Megan Webb said.

The Bulldogs took the courts at 10 a.m. at the Helfaer Tennis Stadium and Recreation Center. Drake doubles line up was switched for this match.

The Bulldogs at doubles one were senior Maria Tatarnikova and junior Daria Walczak.

Doubles two was senior Megan Webb and junior Kelsey Neville. Finally, at doubles three were Ines Stephani and her partner. After a hard fight, the Bulldogs lost doubles one and doubles two both of their set 2-6.

Heading into singles, Drake was down 0-1 in the team score. Shortly after heading into singles Stephani captured a point for the bulldogs, winning her match 6-4,6-3.

“I tried to remain focused throughout my whole match and stick to my game plan,” Stephani said. “Being able to get a point for my team is always the goal, and a great feeling.”

Walczak was the next Bulldogs to finish and get a point for Drake. Walczak won her match in straight sets, with a 6-4,6-4 win.

Drake and Maquette were

now tied 2-2. Senior Liza Petushkova had a tough three set match as well. After winning the first set 6-3, Petushkova lost the second and third set after a close 5-7 sets.

With the team score being 3-2, with Marquette leading the last two matches that were on court were Neville and Tatarnikova. Neville also had a close three set match, after winning the first set 6-2, and losing a close second set 6-3, Neville came back to win the third set 7-6.

During the third set Nevile saved a match point for Marquette.

“I was really pumped to be able to save match point and finish out the tiebreak, tying up the score for my team,” Neville said.

The team score was 3-3 with Tatarnikova still competing at

singles 4. After winning the first set 6-3, and losing the second set 3-6, as well as being down 2-5 in the third set, Tatarnikova comes back to win the third set 7-5.

Capturing the last point for Drake, allowing them to win the match 4-3. After Tatarnikova’s match point her teammates ran to her to congratulate her on clinching the match for the team.

Drake now has a record of 7-5 heading into their conference matches. Head Coach Mai-ly Tran is proud of the team for their match this past weekend.

“I’m extremely proud of how the team fought against Marquette... Marquette has always been a strong team and it shows how talented our team is to get the ‘W’ this year,” Tran said. “We had solid wins from Ines and Daria. Liza battled a

tough 3 set match, Kelsey kept us in the match with a big win ending in a 3rd set tiebreak. It was an incredible comeback from Masha, our senior, to clinch the match after being down 2-5 in the third set.”

Tran is ready to use this match as momentum for the upcoming matches.

“This win shows how tough our team is and how they trusted themselves and didn’t give up,” Tran said. “We had some players really step up today and I’m so proud of them.

It was a great match for us to build momentum heading into conference matches.”

Drake women’s tennis’s next match will be April 3 at 11 a.m. at home against Valparaiso.

SPORTS

Sports

March 31, 2021 | Page 6

Men’s tennis wins against University of Nebraska-Omaha

MEN’S TENNIS BESTED OMAHA IN A CLOSE MATCH AT HOME THIS WEEKEND, IMPROVING TO 3-4 FOR THE SEASON. After struggles to gain their footing at the beginning of the season, many players are starting to see improvements in their play after two wins this weekend. PHOTO COURTESY OF DRAKE ATHLETICS

Darinka Stepan Staff Writer darinka.stepan@drake.edu

After a great win against Creighton last weekend, Drake men’s tennis does it again here at home.

Heading into this match Drake men’s tennis had a record of 2-4. The Bulldogs took the court Saturday at 3 p.m. to compete in a dual match against the University of Nebraska Omaha. This was the second conference match that Drake has competed in.

Drake’s doubles line up for this match was different from previous matches. The Bulldogs at doubles one were Reid Jarvis

and Matija Matic. Doubles two was Oliver Johansson and Markus Bolin. Doubles three was Benedek Herman and Evan Fragistas.

Doubles three finished first, the Bulldogs won their set 6-0. Doubles one lost their set to Omaha in a close 3-6 set.

Doubles two lost their doubles set in a tough 6-7 set.

Heading into singles, the Bulldogs were down 0-1 after Omaha got the doubles point.

Bolin was the first bulldog to finish his match. Bolin won his match 6-2,6-1 allowing the bulldogs to tie the team score 1-1.

Bolin explained his thoughts on how his matches went in both singles and doubles.

“My day didn’t start off the way I wanted it to in doubles, I played with OJ [Johansson] who played amazing, but I couldn’t find my rhythm. My match was really tight, and we had huge opportunities to win but unfortunately, we didn’t,” Bolin said. “I decided to come out as focused as I could in my singles to fight back after we lost the doubles point. I played pretty good and early on I could feel that my opponent didn’t have any shots to threaten me with. It was nice to get an early break and then I could comfortably cruise through the match.”

Fragistas finished his match next, Fragistas won his match 6-0, 7-5, helping the bulldogs

pull a 2-1 lead over Omaha.

Following Fragistas match Gabriel Sardo won his match 6-3,6-4.

Sardo explained how today a great day for the team was as well as how his coach helped him perform well in his match.

“Today was a great day for Drake tennis. We had a tight 4-3 win against a tough conference opponent, Omaha,” Sardo said.

“I was winning 5-1 in the second after winning the first set and started to lose more games and I then Coach Lotty, and I talked during a change over and it helped me end up winning 6-4.”

Both Jarvis and Herman lost their singles matches in two tough battles. With the team score being 3-3 there

was only one match left. Oliver Johansson was the last match on. After losing the first set 1-6, Johansson came back to win the second set 6-3 as well as the third set 6-4.

Johansson clinched the match for the Bulldogs, allowing Drake to beat Omaha 4-3. Sardo.

“OJ was the last match on, we all his match and when he clinched everyone was so ecstatic. We all went in and hugged OJ,” Jarvis said.

The Bulldogs win over Omaha now makes their record 3-4, as well as a 2-0 record against schools in their conference, the Summit League.

Football game canceled due to positive COVID-19 tests

DESPITE FOLLOWING SAFETY PRECAUTIONS THUS FAR IN THE SEASON, THE OPPOSING TEAM FOR MEN’S FOOTBALL DEALT WITH A COVID-19 OUTBREAK. This caused this weekend’s game to be canceled. Drake is instead preparing for their next game and looking at new prospects for next season. PHOTO BY MICHAEL CUMMINGS

Kyle Keegan Beat Writer kyle.keegan@drake.edu

What would have been the third game of Drake football’s season was canceled this past Saturday, as there was a COVID outbreak discovered within Stetson University’s football team.

This prompted Stetson officials to send those who tested positive for the virus into a mandatory 10 day quarantine.

According to Stetson, these individuals were identified as “Tier 1 personnel”: players, coaches, and staff members on

the team.

The Pioneer Football League released a statement on the issue.

“PFL athletically-related activities will take place only to the extent permitted by local environments and applicable national, state, local and institutional guidelines,” said the PFL. “...in order to safeguard the health and safety of participants, staff and fans.”

This cancellation was something the Bulldogs were preparing for given the unpredictability of this season.

Senior defensive lineman Max Johnson gave the situation some perspective.

“Just one positive COVID

test with either one of us could really take away a game just like that, so we have to be grateful for being out there with the guys every day during practice,” Johnson said. “It’s the most important thing we got because we know it might be all we got.”

In the meantime, Drake has officially sent out some camp invitations to potential prospects of their 2022 recruiting class. Per usual, their potential class looks to be both athletically and academically tough football players fit for the PFL. Camps are planned to be held on July 18, 24, 25, and 31.

In addition to the recruiting news, Bulldogs junior linebacker Declan Carr was

named PFL Defensive Player of the Week for his performance at the March 20 game against Valparaiso, where he caused an interception, four tackles, and three assisted tackles.

Head coach Todd Stepsis praised Carr for his contributions to the team.

“Declan, he is playing about as good as you can play at that linebacker position,” Stepsis said. “You know, we had a linebacker in 2015. His name was John Hugunin. He is the all-time tackling leader in the history of Drake football, and Declan is starting to remind me of him.”

“A big comparison to a player like Hugunin who was ranked

13th in the nation for his 113 total tackles caused during the 2013 season.

Carr and his teammates will be itching to play Valparaiso University at home this Saturday at 1 p.m.

Despite the Bulldogs dominating 17-6 win over Valpo, they sit right below the team at four in the rankings.

Fans can enter the raffle on the DU Rewards phone app for a chance to win some tickets for the game or buy general admission tickets at draketix. com.

For streaming, they can watch the game on ESPN + and godrakebulldogs.com.

COMMENTARY

Commentary

March 31, 2021 | Page 7

When we all relate to the Suez Canal A shipping container isn’t the only thing feeling stuck

THE SUEZ CANAL PUT ON QUITE THE SHOW remaining stuck for nearly a week. Now traffic will resume, although slowly for a bit. PHOTO COURTESY OF PIERRE MARKUSE FROM FLICKER | CHANGED TO BLACK AND WHITE AND CROPPED

Rachel James Editor-in-Chief rachel.james@drake.edu @kindisgroovy

The container ship that was stuck in the Suez Canal and halted global trade woke up one morning and chose chaos. And you know what? I respect that.

Because I too, wake up and rub the sleep from my eyes and decide what havoc I will wreak on the world.

While I don’t make that big of a scene, but one can always set high aspirations.

Honestly, when Billy Joel sang “Trouble in the Suez” in We Didn’t Start the Fire, we didn’t realize the impact that would hold. Good for him, we love a psychic. That’s

So Raven versus Billy Joel? The match up of the lifetime.

I would let them see into my future; I’m sure it’s filled with just a bunch of shoes I impulsively bought if I am being honest, but a future is a future nonetheless.

Some background information for those not familiar with the matter: the Ever Given (or as my roommate calls it, ‘the everglade’), created a traffic jam of 300+ ships.

It caused an economic impact and suddenly one the “world’s busiest trading routes was costing the global economy $400 million per hour.” They couldn’t get the ship out of the passageway and it created a huge backup. Basically: thin canal, big ship, bad turn.

While the ship is now unstuck, for almost a week, we as a

collective were given so much meme material to work with. The jokes on Reddit and Twitter were truly revolutionary.

“...maybe we should have tried to turn the Suez Canal on and off again.”

But now, as I cannot even get my hair brush unstuck from my hair let alone a 1,300-foot-long ship, I cannot relate to it anymore.

I think this incident is kind of a prime example of life.

At the risk of doing what I am known to do (taking a seemingly meaningless event and twisting it to become this deep metaphor)...

I think this truly shows how you cannot plan for everything.

The Suez Canal has been around since 1868, and yet never has something like this occurred.

In all of global trading history… we never prepared for this? It was the maritime traffic jam of the century, and we all were like “maybe we can just nudge it a bit.”

Like honestly maybe we should have tried to turn the Suez Canal on and off again. Then the problem would’ve been solved.

But what I think I am getting at is that life often throws curveballs at us that we aren’t prepared for or never expected. And there’s no option to course correct.

As I get older I am realizing that sometimes we are the Ever Given ship blocking and sometimes we are the blocked.

I’m sure many ships have been held up waiting for me to get out of the way and I’ve definitely had to sit patiently while just trying to deliver my bananas for life to remove some roadblock.

So yes, I did indeed glance at the news for this past week and at my core, relate to the drama of it all.

While I wish the Suez Canal the best, I will miss her and her messy nature.

You go girl! You give them nothing! It’s fine, I guess I will pick up the slack as the new chaotic queen.

Troll 2: the ineffable masterpiece Taryn Ripple Managing Editor taryn.ripple@drake.edu

I will never forget the first time I saw one of the finest pieces of cinema to ever grace the silver screen. It was a week before I left home for college for the very first time, on a rickety projector screen in the basement of my local public library. That night, my life was changed forever.

Troll 2, folks. The movie was Troll 2.

Here, I’ll give you some context: this glorious mess of a film has gained a cult following due to its unofficial status as the “best worst movie of all time.”

Now I must warn you: this review will contain spoilers.

Even if you haven’t seen this cinematic masterpiece yet, though, I encourage you to read on. Believe me when I say that knowing what you’re in for will in no way detriment your viewing experience.

Let’s take it from the top.

First of all, despite what its title may suggest, Troll 2 is not in fact a sequel to...anything.

It is a standalone film. Nor do any trolls appear in the movie. See, its genius is already demonstrated in the title alone.

I really wish I could outline the plot of this movie for you all. I really wish I could do that, but you see, that would require the film to have one. A sensible plotline, that is.

We have our typical horror movie trope of a family in the process of moving to a new home. (Yes, Troll 2 is billed as a horror film.) Except they’re... not actually moving? They’re taking part in an exchange program of sorts? As in, they switch homes with another family for a short period of time? I’m using question marks because I’m not actually sure how the semantics of this would work?

Anyway, our hero comes in the form of a young lad named Joshua, who quickly notices that his family’s new hometown

TROLL 2 is a masterpiece in this writer’s eyes. Nothing can come between the love for a movie with so many twists and turns that years later you’ll still be confused. PHOTO COURTESY OF AMAZON

is, ah, strange. It’s called Nilbog, for starters. And all the food there is covered in some kind of green slimy substance.

Which seems to disturb no one but Joshua, because logic.

Oh yeah, and Josh is guided throughout the events of the movie by his imaginary (?) grandpa, who warns our young protagonist about the goblins that supposedly inhabit his family’s new stomping grounds.

And guess what? Gramps is right! Joshua and his family are in for a treat, because the townspeople of good old Nilbog are in fact goblins in disguise.

And for that, I tip my hat to the screenwriters.

I’ll level with you, I have no idea how to describe this movie beyond what I’ve outlined already. The goblins turn their human prey into plants (I think) by feeding them some kind of

green goop (I think) and then eat them (I think).

There is a subplot involving teenage boys and a seductress with popcorn, and I believe there is also a conflict-resolving sandwich in there somewhere, but I don’t remember the details. I mean, do I need to?

Those components tell a story all on their own.

If you read this entire review and think to yourself, ‘Well, that

didn’t make any sense, Taryn,’ then congratulations! I thought the SAME thing! I really thought I could condense this stellar screenplay into a 500 word commentary piece for my school newspaper, but it turns out Troll 2 cannot be acutely summarized. There is simply too much. So please, watch it for yourself. I’ve done all I can here.

Go forth.

COMMENTARY

Commentary

March 31, 2021 | Page 8

The day the music died Chris Veninga Contributing Writer chris.veninga@drake.edu

• • •

blink-182 Neighborhoods Natives

These are the words that are on my radio screen in my car as I’m driving to an appointment. I can feel the car vibrating as Tom DeLonge’s guitar riff, Mark Hoppus’s underlying bass and Travis Barker’s fast and primal drumming blasts out of the speakers in my car.

I stop at a stoplight and turn my music down because I don’t want the 60-year-old woman in the car next to me shooting daggers at me for blasting music. But instead, she smiles.

She saw me tapping my fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the rock anthem and could see that I was loving the song I was listening to. The light turns green and we go our separate ways.

It then occurred to me that when I’m driving, I can often be that guy who blasts music loudly, and it probably annoys the drivers around me. But if I’m driving safely (which I am), and I’m not being overly obnoxious (which I’m not) why should they be bothered?

But then something else occurred to me; I’m not alone in blasting music in my car. But sometimes I wonder… am I the only one blasting rock music in my car?

Now obviously, the answer is no. Plenty of people still love their rock music and will have jam sessions whenever they want. Everybody has that one roadtrip playlist where they can howl along to their favorite songs in the comfort of their car with either family or friends or by themselves, without being judged by other people because

after all; when are you going to see these people driving on the highway next to you again?

But whenever I’m walking along streets of either Des Moines, my native Minneapolis, or their suburbs, I see and hear people blasting music in their cars. And most of the time, it’s rap. I always hear either Drake, Travis Scott, or some other rapper that uses trap beats blasting out of a car’s speakers, and the person that’s driving the car is either a millennial or Gen Z. I also hear pop music i.e. Taylor Swift, Billie Eilish, Ariana Grande, Harry Styles, and The Weeknd.

To me, it seems like there’s more pop artists than stars in the sky these days. Though I certainly have my pop guilty pleasure, I’ve never really fallen in love with the genre. But I’m not here to write an epic takedown of pop music, because people who just tell off someone for enjoying something that causes no harm, are the worst.

But where have all the rock fans gone?

Now of course, everyone has their favorite rock songs.

You’d be hard pressed to find someone who doesn’t have one rock song they absolutely love. Who hasn’t jammed out to Bohemian Rhapsody in their cars? Or screeched out the lyrics to Don’t Stop Believin’?

Or got pumped up to Livin’ on a Prayer? Yes, there are classics that everybody enjoys. But I feel like our generation doesn’t like rock music nearly as much as the ones before us.

I went to a Bon Jovi concert when Covid wasn’t a thing and I was one of the only people under the age of 40 there. I didn’t see anybody super young. Of course, I know Bon Jovi is more for people of older generations, but I was surprised to see that there weren’t many people my age at the rock legends’ concert.

Those guys wrote some of the best ballads of the 80’s that

have persisted to today - how could there not be any young people there?

I personally have fallen in love with a different type of pop: pop punk. Bands like blink-182, Green Day and Sum 41 have been my jam. I love the loud, fast guitars, and the drumming that seems to get more and more impossible to play as I listen to it. (On a side note, let me be clear, I’m not edgy.) But aside from close friends who share the same music interests I do, we’re the only ones who have either heard more than these bands hits or heard them in general.

Some people think rock is a dying genre. Though it is true

that a lot of rock bands release albums that are listened to by millions, many would say the members of these bands are old or past their prime. One of Spotify’s playlists is called “Pop Punk’s not Dead.” Fall Out Boy’s 2013 hit album was called “Save Rock and Roll.”

And though there is evidence to support these claims that rock is dead or needs to be saved, there are plenty of signs to show that the rock community is still alive and well. One of the biggest pieces of evidence is Machine Gun Kelly’s new album “Tickets to my Downfall,” the wildly successful punk rock album made by the former rapper that many pop fans I’ve

weather and said, “Man was I let off easy!” Forget cats and dogs. It’s raining frogs like in the Book of Exodus. Sooner or later it’s gonna start raining hot dogs like in “Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs.”

But for every Hyde, there’s a Jekyll. April Fool’s Day is upon us. The great thing about all this pranking is that you can go out, commit grand larceny, and claim total immunity.

It’s like “The Purge”— all bets are off. The absolution of all responsibility. Sometimes I wonder if this holiday was instituted for people like Steve Harvey. You know, he has a relapse of that Miss Universe debacle, he’s got an escape route: “C’mon folks! I was only fooling!”

By the same token, it’s entirely plausible that Tom Holland would post a spoiler for “Spider-Man: No Way Home” to Twitter, follow up the post with a tweet saying, “April Fools!”, then realized that it is April 2nd, and he just leaked the entire ending of the movie, and his contract with Marvel is

now terminated.

Claiming April Fool’s is like pleading the fifth, or crossing your fingers while the “cheese touch” runs amuck at your elementary school. Your hands are tied. No one can touch you. You’re a droideka in “Star Wars,” shielded by a virtually impenetrable deflector shell. It’s a zero-sum game. It’s like you’ve got your own magician’s trap door on the stage; when things go wrong, and the scantily clad assistant doesn’t saw in half, you’ve got a sure exit.

Then there’s Easter. He is risen!

Joe Biden, I mean, from his fourth nap of the day.

No, no, I know… stop being facetious, got it. Jesus of Nazareth rose from the dead, not Clint Eastwood. Then again, if something so miraculous, so jaw-dropping, so apocryphal like the resurrection were to happen today, in the age of the unsullied news media, with truth and nothing but the truth as their unflinching telos, iconoclasts and skeptics alike would remain unmoved.

“Hey, you hear about that guy… what was his name? HayZeus? Don Lemon says his tomb is empty.”

“Yeah, and Epstein killed himself. Give me a break.”

Yes, Christ was buried in a tomb and rose from the dead… some can’t even rise from their memory foam mattress.

Religion aside, Easter festivities are decidedly farcical.

First, there’s Easter egg hunts.

What’s nice about those is that you can find a plastic egg under your fridge five years down the road.

It’s shivering with lifethreatening pneumonia, you know, like an abandoned dog having weathered a month-long winter storm in Boston: “You… have... no idea... what’s down there…” You open the egg up, the candy Peep living inside has hardened to a brick, a colony of ants have burrowed into its once-soft entrails… you take a bite, out of asinine curiosity, next thing you know, you’re at the dentist with a chipped tooth like Ed Helms in “The Hangover.”

CLASSIC ROCK has been usurped by the likes of Billy Eilish, Taylor Swift and Harry Styles. Autotune, computer-generated instrumentation, and Milli-Vanilli-esque shows having supplanted the tried-and-true skiffle of the 20th century, these new methods have left some “dad rock” listeners dazed and confused. GRAPHIC BY ALLYN BENKOWICH | GRAPHICS EDITOR

talked to love.

I personally do not believe rock is dead - but other genres of music have certainly become more popular.

I don’t meet many rock fans nowadays. Most people I see wearing Nirvana, Metallica, or Queen shirts wear them for the retro style. I think it’s because our generations’ tastes have evolved more towards pop and rap music.

And that’s fine! If people love that type of music, more power to them. I’m also not here to say rock music is a superior genre of music - because in the end, music, its meaning, and how good it sounds is subjective.

April: a fool’s paradise?

Colin Frier Commentary Editor colin.frier@drake.edu

If March is like watching a Khan academy video at 0.1 speed, narrated by the “Bueller” teacher in “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” April is the same video, but at light speed, narrated by Ben Shapiro on crack.

Graphed, it would look something like Jake Lloyd’s career: bumbling in anonymity until the age of ten, when he was chosen to play the most revered role of our time, little “Ani” Skywalker. ...then Lloyd got indicted for reckless driving and resisting arrest, a crash-and-burn hellfire analogous to the month of May. You know what they say: “April showers bring May flowers…” What was last year’s slogan?

Oh, right— “June bloom brings July doom…” April weather is like the entire movie of Blade Runner. Noah of Genesis took one look at this

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The holiday is very inclusive, too. There’s even an egg hunt for moms. It’s called, “Find My Car Keys.”

And the man of the hour, the Easter Bunny, is the off-brand Santa, the third Jonas brother.

For Easter 2020, the drunken hare didn’t even bother to show up— in his stead, Frank the Rabbit from “Donnie Darko.”

You know how rabbit feet are a thing? Like a good luck charm, a talisman? Misfortune was so rampant last year, I’ll surmise that even the Easter Bunny himself had to get amputated.

You know, he comes hobbling into the elementary school on a crutch, like a Vietnam vet who got his leg blown off by a landmine… “Hey kids, I could be better, THANKS FOR ASKING. Some WACKO sadist nutjob sawed off my foot for ‘good luck’... Yeah, I forgot the jellybeans this year… hope you’re fine with spoiled cabbage…”

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