The Signal: Spring '15 No.9

Page 1

The Signal voted best rip-off of the New York Times Vol. XLII, No. 9

April 1, 2015

Serving The College of New Jersey community since 1885

Zayn Malik to perform at Rat Students required to take class on walking etiquette

By @Directioner4eva (follow me on Insta) Preteen Girl

The Rathskeller has booked one final, last-minute gig before it shuts its doors and turns off the bar taps for good, ahead of the Brower Student Center’s renovations. “We weren’t planning on another performance, but we just couldn’t let this opportunity pass us,” Rathskeller Manager Roz Barker said. “I love giving new performers the opportunity to break into the music scene, and I think the Rat could be the perfect place for this up-and-coming solo performer to do just that.” Zayn Malik, formerly of littleknown British boy band One Direction, will be performing solo for the first time ever right here at the College on Friday, April 3. “I’ve secretly been in the studio working on my new album while Harry and the other lads have been singing about what makes people beautiful,” Malik said in an exclusive interview with The Singal. “No more of that for me. I believe that my new career as a trap-R&B artist is the right decision, and I cannot be more excited to make my solo debut at the Rat.” Malik’s surprise Rat announcement comes just a week after he publicized that he was leaving One Direction. On

By Usain Bolt A Runner, Not A Walker

The Ghost of CUBRat Chris

Malik hits a note so high all the world’s windows and hearts shatter. Wednesday, March 25, everyone’s favorite high note-hitting, hair-quiffing member of the band said that he wanted to live the life of a normal 22-year-old. He decided that starting a second career in the music industry was the best way to do just that. The Student Finance Board voted unanimously to fully fund the event for

$1.5 million. “I’ve heard that some people think the price tag is too steep, but hey, we have to live while we’re young. It’s the little things, like this concert, that people will remember when they graduate,” SFB President Justin Case said. “Hopefully people can stay up all night and make some midnight memories in the Rat one last time.”

Students at the College are pretty nice. They hold doors for each other and even host events about not bullying other people. But on the sidewalks, that niceness seems to stop. In America, we walk on the right side of the walkway. At the College, students walk wherever they bloody-well please — even straight into people. “I was walking with my mom the other day, and a group of three boys were coming our way, and not one of them moved,” said a student who wishes to stay anonymous out of the distress the event has caused her. “They made my mom and me fall into the mud. To borrow the words of Stephanie Tanner, ‘how rude.’” The campus-wide epidemic has gotten only worse in recent years. To re-teach students how they should be moving out of the way for others, the Board of Trustees has decided to make all students take a class on how to properly walk as a member of society. The class will also focus on how to put a damn cell phone down when walking around. “I see you texting on your penny board. Stop it. Stop it right now. see WALKING page 666

Muha vs. Eve: A Q*bert showdown for the ages By Jay-Z Beyoncé’s Husband What started off as a video game bet between co-workers has turned into a head-to-head battle between two campus celebrities in a high-stakes competition to be the most famed icon at the College. David Muha, associate vice president of marketing, communications and brand management, and Eve Cruz, beloved Eick worker, partook in a game of Q*bert during a lunch break on Tuesday, March 24. The College’s new STEM building, for which construction is scheduled to begin this spring, is planned to bare the name of the winner. It was recently reported by the College’s official Facebook account that Muha was published in the “Guinness Book of World Records” for holding one of the top 10 scores in the game. “I thought I had it in the bag,” Muha admitted. He never imagined

that his record would be matched by a woman from just across the campus. That afternoon, Cruz scored 1,112,300, rivaling Muha in her Q*bert skills. Sophomore nursing major Elizabeth Allen described the mood on Yik Yak last week as “tense” after Eve announced her score. “Ha …. I tied Muha … we in here,” Cruz posted, signing the yak “#WeMadeIt.” But Muha was right behind her, contending for his reputation. “Didn’t beat me though,” Muha posted, later demanding that a tie-breaker commence to settle the real winner. He signed with the yak name “Snow Miser.” Many students admitted to being disappointed at the lack of snow days this semester, making it difficult for Muha to campaign behind his unfounded ability to control the weather. To gain some points, he is now running on the platform that he’ll bring a new meteorology major to the College. As of

INDEX: Global Destruction / Page 7

Follow us at...

The Singal @tcnjsingal

Editorial / Page 9

The Git Gets Down La presidente will be on next season’s ‘Dancing With the Stars’ See Creatures page -2

now, the subject is only offered as a specialization. “Ha…we only had like three snow days this year though… u acting crazy … smh,” Cruz yakked on Friday, March 27. To booster her own campaign, Cruz has been boasting her knack for getting students through the week. According to the College’s president and scorekeeper, R. Barbara Gittenstein, Muha and Cruz are tied in several categories. “Both have their name on tshirts created by the sophomore class council,” Gittenstein said. “Both have been on the front page of The Signal.” But as Muha pointed out, he has also appeared in an article published in The Philadelphia Inquirer in February. Cruz prides herself on her friendly demeanor and her eagerness to support every student at the College. “Eve is always there for me,” freshman English major Anna Graham said. “She’s always there Opinions / Page 11

For Sure Not An Amish Person

HA. The ’80s phenomenon is back again.

to always reminds me when it’s Hump Day, and then my week doesn’t feel so stressful anymore.” According to Gittenstein, Cruz earned some points for her

Your Lost Innocence / Page 14

The Votes Are In George Ezra’s beautiful, amazing voice deemed the best. Ever. See T&E page 525,600

relentlessness in Facebook poke wars with students. “It’s 3-3 right now,” Gittenstein said. “We’ll just have to wait and see who comes out on top.”

Meerkats / Page 17

Sports / Page 28

Track Catastrophy Javelin impales student who was at the wrong place at the wrong time See Sports page 30

page 2 The Singal April 1, 2015


F l acc id Sig n al s :

400 B.C. tablet found

Zach Braff / Janitor-in-Chief

An ancient tablet found in the lake uncovers College secrets.

By Zach Braff Janitor-in-Chief

As everyone knows thanks to our number one, most efficient news source, Yik Yak, a tablet dating back to 400 B.C. has floated to the top of Sylva Lake. Recovered by a fearless freshman who dove head first into the lake, the tablet was sent to a lab where the ancient symbols were analyzed. A secret and haunting message was uncovered from the ruins. It is believed that this is the first-ever edition of The Signal. Here is a translation of the text, which is predominantly made up of eerily correct predictions of the future of the College. There will be a powerful man in Green that can control the rotation of the Earth and the movement of the stars. The sun shines when he commands, and at a snap of a finger, the skies open up with rain or snow. These powers must be used for good and not evil, and he can only make awful blizzards appear three times a year, preferably during class time. Many will praise him. No one will rival his greatness. He will have too many T-shirts.


By Markrobert Lame-o Celebrity

Tiny, furry creatures will slowly overpopulate the world. They will feed off our excess hunt and grow strong from it. They will become comfortable around us ... too comfortable. The creatures will no longer be phased by our presence and will instead jump out at us. Soon we will live in a constant state of fear, and the human race will be enslaved by the fuzzy mammals. In 2,300 years, there will be a hump day. The weeks will be long, but we will get through them. At the end of the week we shall triumphantly chant, “We Made It” and perform a 20 step Evel Spirit Eliminator dance. There will be a large clay edifice, built over the course of many years from intense labor. It will be delayed repeatedly because of the historic magnitude and scale of the event. Perhaps a fat man will even commerorate the event. It will encompass many bazaars where people can haggle over broccoli cheddar soup. Those who are educated will be praised and honored. However, gaining access to these courses will be unbelievably difficult to obtain.

Westeros Style

By Khal Drogo Dothraki Warlord

It’s less than two weeks until “Game of Thrones” makes its triumphant return to television, illegal internet streams and our hearts. Our soft, vulnerable hearts, which are still black with despair from the way things wrapped up last year. But if season five is half as mind-blowing as its predecessor, there will come a new wave of FAKE fans — yeah, those guys ­— who haven’t been watching the series since day one like you and I have. If you want to make sure everyone knows you’re a REAL fan, you’d better look the part during the season premiere. Dress like an authentic Westerosi: Leave your electronic gadgets at home. If you’re watching the premiere at home, throw them in the garbage. Daenerys Targaryen didn’t become Khaleesi by reading Buzzfeed on the shitter. A good example of a fashionable, Westerosi outfit is Oberyn Martell’s classic look: Yellow surcoat, open collar, twinkle in the eye. Forget the helmet. Name your weapon: “Needle” is taken, as is “Sting,” “Hearteater” and most violent words, if you really want to get into your fantasy lore. Want something original? Um, “Assuage?” Maybe “Aggravate?” Neither of those is a famous sword name as of now, although the ghost of J.R.R. Tolkein is known to retroactively claim weapon names for minor “Lord of the Rings” characters. No one cares about the names themselves, though: People are mainly impressed that you have a relationship with your “Game of Thrones” weapon. No novelty shirts: Oh, so “a Lannister always completes his reps,” does he? People who wear these shirts are disappointments to their parents. They’re the worst. Cutting off their hands just isn’t enough. In Westeros, they’d be LUCKY if they were sacrificed to the New Gods. If they’re unlucky, however, they will get the Reek treatment and send depressing #TransformationTuesday messages on Snapchat.

Sotohp PA

Gettin my role play onnnn.

Role play a little bit: If everyone is still at the party after you introduce them to your weapon — Assuage, maybe, or Barry — then they’re probably ready for some serious Game of Thrones-ing. If you want to show people how hardcore you are, it’s not enough to dress up as a Westerosi — you have to BE a Westerosi. A great benefit of this is that all of your enemies will be dead. Hooray! An unfortunate side effect is that all of your friends will be, too. Stock up on hydrogen peroxide, paper towels and your favorite shampoo cleaner.

Hollyturd: Wake up, Presidential

Beyoncé Knowles has taken over the U.S. government in a bloodless and dazzling coup. The singer/current overlord announced a new tour: the “It’s All Mine” Tour, in which she and Jay-Z would storm the office of the executive branch. Well, her first show went off without a hitch as she strode into the Oval Office and kicked stricken Barack Obama out of his chair. When reached for comment, former President and current back-up dancer Obama only had this to say, “Wow, it sucks

but she is the Queen Bey.” Other world leaders were quick to respond as well. Queen Elizabeth II announced she will just go by “Lizzie” from now on as to not disrespect the title of “Queen.” Prime Minister of Israel, Benjamin Netanyahu, declared “he will buy plane tickets to America immediately.” With Beyoncé leader of the free world, a lot of changes are coming into effect. The National Anthem is now “Irreplaceable,” images of Beyoncé have replaced every single drubby old man on our currency and Guantanamo Bay has been closed and reverted to a dance studio.

Not everyone is welcoming of the new regime. A videotape was sent to CNN which showed a shadowy figure with a masked voice state their opinion. The mysterious individual stated that “Beyoncé is overrated” and that they “have just as many hits as she does.” Thus, Katy Perry was arrested this morning because let’s be real. Vice President Oprah Winfrey will join Beyoncé on a goodwill tour of the nation, stopping in over 50 cities to sold out audiences spreading their message of peace, love and “we have more money than you.” God bless the United States of Sashamerica.

The Central Intelligence Beygency

Queen Beyoncé is new leader of the free world.

Breaking news, blogs, and more at Vol. XLII, No. 9

April 1, 2015

Serving The College of New Jersey community since 1885

Charles Blow on race and policing Circle K wins big, secures seven awards

By Sydney Shaw News Editor Analyzing the intersection between race and policing in America has become a more prominent conversation on the heels of the deaths of unarmed black men such as Michael Brown, Eric Garner and Tamir Rice. Charles Blow, visual op-ed columnist for the New York Times and author of “Fire Shut Up in My Bones,” questioned the sources and extent of systemic discrimination, in a critical discussion with students on Tuesday, March 24, in the Education Building. “No one denies that police officers have hard jobs,” Blow said. “When a job is done well, it keeps communities safe and society civil. But the way that is accomplished is that officers must encounter a disproportionate number of people who break the law.” Blow presented the possibility that officers’ fears may be heightened — “and their trigger finger made more itchy” — in high-crime areas because they are more worried about making it home to their families than about the people they encounter making it home to theirs. “If you overwhelmingly see the bad in people, does it diminish your impulse to search for the good?” he asked. “When is the line crossed from protecting and serving to occupying and suppressing?” Police are not the only group of

By Sara Torres Correspondent

Blow told the story of 12-year-old Rice, who was shot down in a park in Cleveland last November when police thought his toy gun was real. “Not only is the shooting itself disturbing, but the failure to render aid is unconscionable,” Blow said.

Circle K stole the show at the 51st Annual District Convention Awards Ceremony, taking home awards for Distinguished Editor, Distinguished Secretary, Distinguished Vice President, Distinguished President and Distinguished Newsletter. The club was also honored with the William Paterson Outstanding Club Achievement Award, as well as $5,000 collectively in scholarships. The awards ceremony was held on Saturday, March 21, as part of a weekend-long event for the 10 chapters of Circle K across the state, at the Hotel Somerset-Bridgewater in Somerset, N.J. Circle K President Daniel Kaplan is thrilled with the club’s accomplishments. “I think we officially came away with the second most (awards), but we won a lot of the top ones, the big ticket items,” the senior secondary education and history double major said. Vice President Kerrin McLaughlin, a junior interactive multimedia major, said the club was not only celebrating its own accomplishments, but also those of notable member

see BLOW page 5

see CIRCLE K page 3

Photo courtesy of Lynne DeLade

Blow discusses how systemic biases affect policing in America. individuals who project bias onto others, though, according to Blow. “Prejudice is a societal poison. Each of us is in danger of ingesting it,” he said. “We are all constantly making judgements, but most of us are not wearing a holster with a gun. That is when the ante is upped about the nature and quality of those judgements.”

Four local bands Festival celebrates Greek culture play for top honors By Kimberly Ilkowski Features Editor

Four local bands left it all on the stage at CUBRat and WTSR’s annual Battle of the Bands competition held in the Rathskeller on Tuesday, March 24, shredding, pounding and singing like they never have before. North Jersey progressive metal band The Great Airport Mystery took home the night’s coveted title, earning their album high rotation on the College’s radio station. Comprised of Ryan Gilpatrick on vocals, John Kennedy on guitar, Brian Heitman on bass and Mike Guevarez on drums, the band quickly transformed the atmosphere of the room from

the previous acts. As the night’s last performers, the band exuded energy, embodied by Gilpatrick’s wild stage persona. Nothing was off limits, including jumping off the stage and running through the rows of tables, sitting on barriers and swinging the microphone around, Adam Lazzara style. The band performed tracks off their Februaryreleased EP “Voyager,” as well as the full-length “The Great Spaceport Mystery,” both of which are concept albums. “Our first record was about the origins of huPhoto courtesy of Brendan McGeehan manity and space exploThe festival showcases authentic dances and cuisine from Greece. ration,” Gilpatrick said, who admitted to being By Jessica Ganga adorned with blue and white on heavily inspired by Nation & World Editor Wednesday, March 25, in celebration of the third-annual Greek Festival hostsee BANDS page 15 The Brower Student Center was ed by the College’s Hellenic Society.

INDEX: Nation & World / Page 7

Follow us at... The Signal @tcnjsignal

Editorial / Page 9

Opinions / Page 11

Arts & Entertainment / Page 14

Students lined up to enjoy the traditional and authentic Greek food that was served by members of the organization. While familiar dishes such as pita bread with tzatziki sauce were served, the night was also an opportunity for students of the College to try new foods they may not have heard of before. Spanakopita, a Greek casserole with crusty dough filled with spinach and feta pastitsio, impressed the student foodies. And f-or dessert, students were treated to savory baklava, a sweet pastry with walnuts, honey and kourambiethes, and a shortbread cookie with powdered sugar. Serving food to the students was a special way for the members of the Hellenic Society to share a piece of their culture with their peers. “Not only are we exposing you to pastitsio and mousaka and spanakopita,” senior nursing major Daniela Verdugo began. “We are giving you a piece of us,” added Anna Kalavrezos, senior nursing major and President of the Hellenic Society. see GREEK page 21

Features / Page 17 Sports / Page 28

‘TCNJ Epcot’ Different cultures come together to celebrate

Baby Wants Candy An hour-long musical is made up on the spot

Women’s tennis Team starts off season with shutout

See Features page 17

See A&E page 14

See Sports page 28

page 2 The Signal April 1, 2015

ROCK Improv Comedy Festival funded by SFB By Jackie Delaney Staff Writer PRISM’s “Bell’s Roar” and “Queer Culture Day” were fully funded by the Student Finance Board at their weekly meeting on Wednesday, March 25. PRISM approached the board for $1,100 for “Bell’s Roar,” an event that will include an afternoon workshop and evening musical performance to “pay tribute to the LGBTQ musicians” that have contributed to music history. The event, which is scheduled to be held during Transgender Awareness Week, will take place on Thursday, April 23. It was fully funded with an added $75 for a sound technician. PRISM requested $270 for “Queer Culture Day,” which will be celebrated with a trip to New York City. The day’s itinerary will include visits to the Leslie and Lohman Museum of Gay and Lesbian Art, the Stonewall Inn and Greenwich Village. PRISM said it would be “a fun and educational day,” allowing attendees to “bond, learn and explore the city.” The trip was fully funded. Then, All College Theatre, TCNJ Musical Theatre and The Mixed Signals requested $5,100 for a previously tabled proposal to hold the annual ROCK Improv

Comedy Festival. The proposal, tabled on Wednesday, Feb. 25 because of a missing fee for reserving Mayo Concert Hall, includes plans to bring professionals from Upright Citizens Brigade (UCB), a popular improvisational comedy group. The festival will include performances from TCNJ Alumni, The Mixed Signals and UCB, which will be hosting a workshop for students interested in improv comedy. The event was fully funded.

Active Minds — an organization that aims to remove stigmas and increase awareness about mental health — then requested $5,025 for “Send Silence Packing,” a nationally recognized exhibit that travels to college campuses with 1,100 donated backpacks. These backpacks, displayed in a high-traffic area on campus, represent the number of college students lost to suicide each year. According to Active Minds, the exhibition

Kim Iannarone / Staff Photographer

SFB allocates funds for a trip to Neshaminy Creek Brewing Company.

is “important to spur discussion” on campus about mental health, “creating a link between students and faculty” to raise awareness. The board discussed the organization’s advertising of the event before it was funded, which is against SFB rules. Active Minds received a warning from the board, but “Send Silence Packing” was still fully funded. Later, the Spanish Club approached the board for a trip to Washington, D.C., to visit the Mexican Cultural Institute. The institute showcases the work of many well-known Mexican artists. The event, which requested $1,500, was tabled by the board. Finally, Student Government proposed for a trip to the Neshaminy Creek Brewing Company in Croydon, Pa., for the Class of 2015. Seniors are invited on a tour of the company and will “learn from the owners the fascinating science behind brewing beer and all that it takes to successfully run a company,” according to the group’s proposal. The trip, scheduled for Saturday, April 11, was fully funded $280 by SFB. *Even though SFB agrees to finance certain events, there is no guarantee these events will take place. The approval only makes the funds available.

College begins revising existing strategic plan By Alyssa Sanford Staff Writer

Members of the College’s Strategic Planning and Resource Committee (SPARC) met with Student Government to evaluate the College’s mission statement and update it for the future at the general body meeting on Wednesday, March 25. SPARC seeks to revise the existing strategic plan from two and a half years ago and present the new plan to the Board of Trustees in February 2016 for their vote of approval. The new plan, if approved, will be implemented in fall 2016 and extend through 2021. Jacqueline Taylor, co-chair of SPARC and provost of Academic Affairs, said that this plan is “the first, at least in a long time, articulated strategic plan that the College has had.” “This is not to say that … we weren’t planning,” Taylor added.

“We weren’t putting (the strategic plan) out in that way.” Co-chair and psychology professor Shaun Wiley talked with SG members about what SPARC is looking for in the new mission, vision and core value statements before splitting the room into groups to brainstorm ideas and edits. “We’re describing our institution (to) communicate (our values) outside the College,” Wiley said. The statements are meant to convey “who we are as a college… (and) who we are as TCNJ.” The mission statement describes in “pretty high-level” terminology what the College offers as an institution, Wiley said. For instance, the College “challenges a diverse community of learners through a personalized, collaborative and rigorous education,” according to the statement as of Thursday, Feb. 19. As for the vision statement,

which Wiley said is more “futureoriented,” SPARC wants it to provide a sense of what the College will become. Finally, Wiley asked SG members to brainstorm core values for the College. The Wednesday, March 4, draft includes words like “excellence,” “engagement,” “community,” “integrity” and “diversity,” for instance. General body members worked intently on revisions for a significant portion of the meeting, discussing the rhetoric and accuracy of the statement’s language. Taylor mentioned that the current plan was created “to get us through the Middle States review,” which was a success several weeks ago when the representatives came to the College from Monday, March 9, to Wednesday, March 11, for their “once-every-10-years accreditation visit.”

“They are lovin’ on us,” Taylor said of the Middle States commission with a grin. “We’re pretty proud.” However, there is always room for improvement when it comes to refining the College’s goals and values. That’s why SPARC has reached out to faculty, staff and students through a series of meetings and open forums for contributions to the revision process. SPARC is scheduled to hold an open forum on Wednesday, April 1, in room 212 of the Education Building from 9:30 a.m. to 10:30 a.m. to discuss the strategic plan with the campus community. Following the presentation, President Matthew Wells called the general body meeting to order. Vice President of Advancement Sarah Drozd announced a bake sale that will be held from Wednesday, April 8, to Friday, April 10. Proceeds will go toward the SG scholarship fund, which has reached 100 percent involvement among SG

members and is within $4,000 of its fundraising goal. The senior class council informed the general body that registration for Senior Week is live online and will remain open until Friday, April 3. Due to high demand, the senior class is capping registration at 600 students. The sophomore class is hosting Mr. 2017 in the Brower Student Center at 8 p.m. on Wednesday, April 1. Tickets are $3 leading up to the event and $5 at the door. Additionally, freshman class President Ryan Cleary announced that Freshman Formal will be held on Saturday, April 18. Tickets cost $15 each, and there are only 250 tickets are available. The freshman class is also selling ‘Peep-grams’ in the Brower Student Center. For a small fee, anyone can buy a box of Peeps and have them delivered to a friend on campus in the days leading up to the Easter and Passover holiday weekend. Sales end on Friday, April 3.

Students taste tapas at study abroad interest session By Chelsea LoCascio Production Manager Students at the College were able to discuss their worries about studying abroad with students who are currently abroad — helping put their minds at ease. “This event allowed me first-person perspective on the experience, or as close as I can get to it, while I’m still in this country,” said Ryan Eldridge, a sophomore political science and Women’s and Gender Studies double major. Spanish professor Isabel Kentengian, with help from the Center for Global Engagement, ran a Skype conversation between students currently studying in Alcalá de Henares in Madrid for the semester and those interested in the program on Tuesday, March 24, from 3:30 p.m. to 4:30 p.m. in

Bliss Hall. In addition, Kentengian, the faculty director for the spring 2016 program, served authentic Spanish tapas — finger foods such as a Spanish potato omelet — as the Alcalá students described their experiences. Several students abroad attend the Universidad de Alcalá de Henares, a program hosted by the Instituto Franklin, where the wide range of classes also include several community-engaged learning opportunities. One course taught by Kentengian allows students to help Romanian immigrants assimilate to Alcalá by developing their language skills. There is even an opportunity for pre-med majors to shadow a doctor in a hospital, which is not possible in the United States. Aside from classes, the Alcalá students talked about their initial disinterest in par-

ticipating in a homestay. Once they went abroad, however, they learned about the language and country while making a new family along the way. “In Alcalá, they are really into (homestay). They’re sharing their friends (and) they’re taking them out,” Kentengian said. “It’s up to the student to build a relationship.” Taking Spanish 211 is a prerequisite to studying abroad through this program, which will better prepare students for the rich language and culture they will encounter, according to Kentengian. “(The program) is designed to immerse students of intermediate level or higher and develop their fluency,” Kentengian said. The Alcalá students agree: The program has gone beyond the College’s expectations by providing them with life experiences they could not find anywhere else.

Photo courtesy of Isabel Kentengian

Students indulge in authentic tapas.

April 1, 2015 The Signal page 3

Circle K / Organization’s volunteer work is recognized continued from page 1 Dawn Kreder. Kreder, a senior sociology major at the College, served as District Governor during the past year, presiding over each New Jersey Circle K club. “We were just celebrating her great year, as well,” McLaughlin said. Kreder was awarded the Kiwanis Centennial Award, one of the largest donations for an award in the organization, in recognition of her accomplishments as District Governor. As the 57th recipient internationally, the reward signifies that $1,500 is donated in her name toward The Eliminate Project, an initiative to eliminate maternal and neonatal tetanus. “To see every club receive awards at District Convention for everything that they had accomplished this past year was incredible,” Kreder said. “It is at this event, where we celebrate the old and new, that I believe CKI members remember why they joined and realize the impact that they are making on a local and global level through their actions.” Kreder describes the experience winning the Centennial Award as truly humbling. “It showed that the people around me, that support me each and every day, thought I was worthy of receiving it,” she said. Members of Circle K at the College engage in two kinds of service projects, one being weekly on-campus projects such as Eickhoff cleanup, wrapping utensils for the soup kitchen and tutoring, according to Kaplan. Larger scale projects are done in collaboration with other clubs in the overarching organization Kiwanis Service Leadership Programs, such as 5K runs for

Autism and benefit dinners. Reflecting on his experiences in Circle K, Kaplan said his favorite project has been volunteering during Eickhoff cleanup, an initiative that the organization started two years ago. “It’s a way to give back to the campus directly. All of us have eaten at Eick, and it’s nice to return the favor now that we have the chance,” he said. “And it’s just so fun. It’s a really good time.” McLaughlin said she has most enjoyed their work with the Ronald McDonald House Charities, which provides a home away from home for family members of patients being treated in hospitals in locations far from where they live. Circle K members helped by cleaning the space and cooking dinner for the families. Kaplan said he joined Circle K during his sophomore year when he was simply looking for a way to get involved. “(Kreder), who lived on my freshmen floor, actually dragged me along to a meeting, and I just kind of instantly fell in love with the club,” Kaplan said. “As crazy as it sounds, it really is like a family. There’s something really special about the passion that everyone in Circle K shares for community service.” Kaplan says that the involvement opportunities in Circle K immediately impressed him when he joined. “It’s always amazing when members are proposing new service projects or presenting an idea or just saying something they want to see in the club, because one thing that drew me to the club is that it’s very democratic,” he said. “If you present an idea like that, it’ll come to life, and I guess that

Photo courtesy of Daniel Kaplan

Members of Circle K accept their awards for excellent volunteer work. blew my mind as a sophomore. It kind of continues to blow my mind now.” McLaughlin said she knew Circle K was something she wanted to join since she had been a member of Key Club in high school, an affiliate of the Kiwanis Service Leadership Programs. The junior will fill the position of Circle K’s president starting next week. “I think it includes the most genuine people on campus,” McLaughlin said. “There are other organizations where people have a service requirement, but I think that the people in our club are there for the service because they want to be doing it, not because it’s required of them.”

Meanwhile, Kreder is grateful for the ways in which her involvement in Circle K has enriched her experience in college, as well as her future. “This weekend was a fantastic way to end my four years in this organization,” Kreder said. “CKI has helped me grow as a leader to myself, others and the community, and without these experiences, I am not sure what I would be doing with my life. Certainly, I would have missed out on a lot of opportunities I’ve been lucky to have, and friends that I’ve met.” Students interested in Circle K can visit its website at http://circlekattcnj.

Alumni return to discuss women’s reproductive rights

Kim Iannarone / Staff Photographer

Two graduates explain how the WGS Department has helped shape their futures. By Meghan Coppinger Correspondent

Graduates of the Women’s and Gender Studies (WGS) Department at the College were invited back to their alma mater for an open discussion on reproductive health and rights. The event was an opportunity for students to network and learn more about what the future could hold with a degree in WGS. The four alumni included Kelly Baden, director of state advocacy for the Center of Reproductive Rights; Ria Rodney, research assistant for the Domestic Violence Enhanced Home Visit Program (DOVE) at Johns Hopkins University; Leah Chamberlain, the administrator of Philadelphia Women’s Center; and

Kristen Daskilewicz, a research coordinator for Global Health Network who was Skyping from Cape Town, South Africa. “It was great to see women that took gender studies and made it not only into a career, but a way to continue their activism and passions,” senior psychology major Samantha Dooley said. Only two questions were asked of the four panelists, but they elicited in-depth discussion and information. Janet Gray, WGS professor and event moderator, advised the audience to “hear about their journeys and envision your own future.” The first question asked the graduates about their work and their paths from the College to where they are now. All four

women chose different careers that echoed similarities in advocacy and activism in reproductive health across the world. Baden, who works in advocating for women’s reproductive rights, learned “all of the skills (she) could,” including reading litigation, creating press releases, helping pass local-level policies and improving reproductive rights. Daskilewicz discussed her journey from being raised on conservative reproductive health views to becoming “incredibly passionate” about abortion rights. She worked in Philadelphia as a hotline counselor for CHOICEHotline, where she learned to talk about sexual health issues. Daskilewicz was impacted by “hearing people be vulnerable

and hearing their stories.” Going with this year’s theme of justice during Women’s History Month at the College, the second question asked the panelists how their personal and work experiences has enhanced their ideas of justice. “Justice, that’s huge,” said Chamberlain, who noted that thinking of the bigger picture when helping women one-onone is vital to justice. Baden agreed, adding that is is “fundamentally ‘effed-up’ that a woman in Mississippi has a different set of rights than a woman in California.” She incorporates reproductive justice into her job by partnering with reproductive organizations to “lift up their voices” by using technology and social media. Daskilewicz described some challenges when thinking about justice in her area of work. Although Cape Town, in theory, has liberal abortion laws, she said there can be trouble for women trying to access proper abortion care. “There is extreme economic inequality here,” Daskilewicz said, adding it took a long time to find pro-choice and feminist movements in the community. Rodney spoke of finding many pathways to justice in her line of work while interacting with pregnant women experiencing domestic violence. One, she noted, was finding “strange bedfellows” to help accomplish goals in justice. She recalled feeling apprehensive when working with other

advocacy groups that she felt had nothing in common with her work. But finding a common space can “create an alliance” with people who can help make a difference. “Together, you will accomplish so much,” Rodney said. After the panelists shared their experiences, the floor was opened for student discussion and questions. The four women realized their careers truly intersected when a student asked how to stay passionate after years of working. “You can’t be a single-action person,” Chamberlain said. Although Daskilewicz admitted to feeling “burnt out” at a stage in her career, she agreed with Chamberlain that “finding an activist space outside of a job” was important to refuel the energy and desire for change. “Seeing that they have made a difference in the lives of many women on both an individual and community level was inspiring,” Dooley said. When a student inquired about which skills learned from being a WGS major at the College were applicable in the real world, Rodney credited “having stellar relationships with faculty” and connecting with individuals who can act as role models for your career. The College’s Chair of the WGS Department, Ann Marie Nicolosi, expressed to the alumni how proud the department is to say these four women belong to it. “You’ve gone so beyond what we imagined what our graduates would do,” Nicolosi said.

page 4 The Signal April 1, 2015 SAF FUNDED





























TCNJ College Union Board @TCNJCUB @TCNJCUB

April 1, 2015 The Signal page 5

Blow / NYTimes clumnist calls for better policing ‘Apathy’ toward administration of care is unacceptable

Photo courtesy of Lynne DeLade

According to Blow, blacks are overrepresented as criminals. continued from page 1

For four long minutes, Rice lay on the grass, bleeding out but still alive, while none of the officers hovering about him made an attempt to administer aid. According to Blow, the same apathy about the immediate administration of care is echoed in other cases. “After George Zimmerman shot Trayvon Martin, Zimmerman mounted him and stretched his arms wide to prevent him from even clutching the spot where the bullet had entered his body,” Blow said. “Trayvon Martin was still alive. After officers choked Eric Garner until he fell

unconscious, no one administered CPR. Instead, they checked his pockets for cigarettes. Garner was still alive.” Blow went on to bring Ferguson and the murder of Brown into the conversation, explaining that after Officer Darren Wilson shot Brown, Wilson didn’t check to see if Brown was breathing or if he had a pulse. Brown’s body lay in the street for four hours. “This list goes on, quite literally, ad nauseam,” Blow said. Blow also shared significant statistics about marriage and birth rates in Ferguson — and in black communities in general — to illustrate structural racism inherent

in our society. “Married black women used to have a higher birth rate than married white women,” he said. “But that birth rate for married black women has dropped dramatically to the point that (it) is significantly lower than that of married white women.” This causes the birth rates of unmarried black women to appear extremely high in comparison. Blow also attributes this misconception to the explosion in the incarceration rate in the U.S. during the last few decades. “This trend has disproportionately ensnared young black men, sucking hundreds of thousands of marriage-age men out of communities,” Blow said. He used Ferguson as an example, where, according to Forbes, half of young black men are ‘missing’ from the community. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, while there are 1,182 black women living in Ferguson between the ages of 24 and 25, there are only 577 black men in that same age group. “There are two young black women for every young black man in Ferguson,” Blow said, “and we ask ourselves about marriage rates.” Blow said blacks are overrepresented in the media as crime

suspects, and whites are overrepresented as crime victims, further warping the facts and playing into systemic biases. He cited Lisa Bloom’s book, “Suspicion Nation,” in which she discusses how the standard assumption is that criminals are blacks and blacks are criminals. According to Bloom’s book, in one study, 60 percent of viewers who viewed a crime story with no picture of the perpetrator falsely claimed seeing one. And of those, 70 percent believe that the person they saw was black. “When we think about crime, we ‘see’ black, even when it is not

present,” Blow said. “We have to separate mythology from the truth.” The first step in doing so, as Blow suggests, is to open our eyes to daily instances of racial bias. To understand what racial bias is, where it occurs and how it crosses ethnic and racial lines is crucial toward achieving justice. “Racism is interpersonal and structural. It is current and historical. It is explicit and implicit. It is articulate and it is silent,” Blow said. “Biases are pervasive, but can also be spectral, moving in and out of concentration without notice, leaving no trace, even without our own awareness.”

AP Photo

Blow criticizes the actions of officers in Ferguson, Mo.

By Colleen Murphy News Editor • On Tuesday, March 17, at 1:30 p.m., Campus Police observed a male trying to get into his Chevy Impala by using an unwrapped, white-wire clothes hanger. The man told police that he had locked his keys inside the car and was waiting for a tow truck to arrive. When the truck arrived to Lot 16 and the car door was opened, there was an immediate odor of marijuana detected from inside the vehicle, according to Campus Police. When asked if he knew anything about the smell, the man said there was one blunt in the ash tray. He gave the half-smoked blunt to the officer and was placed under arrest.

into the building. When Campus Police asked for the friend’s name, they conducted a search in the College’s database of the student’s alleged name but found no results. The male said he was not a student of the College and was visiting his brother. Using the name that the male provided, Campus Police could not find the brother in the database, either. The male was then placed under arrest for criminal trespassing and obstruction of the administration of the law for giving false names.

• Campus Police discovered more graffiti on the fourth level of Lot 11 on Sunday, March 8. At 5:30 p.m., officers found a purple stick figure with a silver bowtie painted on its head. Upon further inspection, two more silver circles with dots in the middle of each of them were found in the same area. A request was made to the College’s Facilities Paint Shop to cover the markings, according to Campus Police.

• A Microsoft Surface Pro2 computer was reported missing after a student left it at The Rathskeller on Friday, March 13, between 8 p.m. and 9 p.m. Upon arriving home from the eatery, the student realized the computer was missing and returned to the Student Center to look for it. The student went to the Information Desk and The Rathskeller several times asking of its whereabouts before reporting it missing to police on Wednesday, March 25. The computer is valued at $450, its gray keyboard priced at $120 and a black, soft case valued at $20, according to Campus Police.

• On Wednesday, March 11, a male who matched the description of the person of interest in the recent thefts at Packer Hall was seen entering the rear of the Recreation Center without having signed in, according to Campus Police. At 4:45 p.m., police saw him playing basketball, and when asked if he had an I.D., the male said he did not. He told Campus Police that a friend had let him

• A golf cart belonging to the College was found on Ewingville Road by a resident of Ewing Township on Thursday, March 12, according to Campus Police. A fork was jammed in the ignition, turned to the ‘on’ position and left in neutral. Campus Police advised the Director of Operations for Sodexo Services of the theft. The property damage is valued at $5,000, according to Campus Police.


Juana help me into my car?







IMMIGRATION, GLOBAL POVERTY AND NATIONAL OBLIGATIONS Wednesday, April 1, 2015 5:00 pm Library Auditorium DR. ROGERS SMITH, Professor of Political Science, University of Pennsylvania, and co-author of ‘Still a House Divided: Race and Politics in Obama’s America.’ Sponsored by: TCNJ Federation of Teachers, Local 2364 The School of Humanities and Social Sciences This program is made possible by a grant from the New Jersey Council for the Humanities, a state partner of the National Endowment for the Humanities. Any views, findings, conclusions or recommendations in this program do not necessarily represent those of the National Endowment for the Humanities or the New Jersey Council for the Humanities.

The College of New Jersey | 2000 Pennington Road, Ewing, NJ 08628-0718

page 6 The Signal April 1, 2015






grad u stud ate ents






WEDNESDAY, APRIL 8 Cupcakes and Conversation with Faculty, plus raffle prizes! 4–5 p.m. Education Building, Room 208

MAIN STREETS AND MENTAL HEALTH: COMMENTS FROM THE MAIN STREET NJ STUDY Wednesday, April 8, 2015 5:00 pm Education Building, Room 115 DR. MINDI FULLILOVE, Professor of Clinical Psychiatry, Mailman School of Public Health, Columbia University Sponsored by: TCNJ Federation of Teachers, Local 2364 The School of Humanities and Social Sciences The School of Nursing, Health and Exercise Science

For more information or to RSVP, see

This program is made possible by a grant from the New Jersey Council for the Humanities, a state partner of the National Endowment for the Humanities. Any views, findings, conclusions or recommendations in this program do not necessarily represent those of the National Endowment for the Humanities or the New Jersey Council for the Humanities.

The College of New Jersey | 2000 Pennington Road, Ewing, NJ 08628-0718

TCNJ Business Institute for Non-Business Majors Summer 2015

KNOWLEDGE • SKILLS • PERSPECTIVES Earn eight credits while you learn from TCNJ School of Business Faculty and Visiting Business Executives


April 1, 2015 The Signal page 7

Nation & W rld

German co-pilot deliberately crashes plane

A German newspaper releases final moments of Flight 9525.

By Jessica Ganga Nation & World Editor

More information is beginning to surface about the Germanwings flight that crashed into the French Alps on Tuesday, March 24. According to CNN, the co-pilot, Andreas Lubitz, deliberately downed the plane carrying 150 onboard, including himself. Audio from the flight has been released,

AP Photo

allowing a timeline to be determined of how the crash occurred, according to CNN. A German newspaper, Bild, released the sequence of events on Sunday, March 29. According to the recording, the captain of the flight, Patrick Sodenheimer, could be heard leaving the cockpit after Lubitz tells the captain he can “go any time,” allowing Lubitz to take over the wheel. Then, the plane begins to descend, setting off an alarm. Next,

Sodenheimer could be heard banging on the locked cockpit door. The last sounds to be heard are people screaming in the background and a wing scraping a mountain. Reasons why Lubitz would down the plane are unknown, but according to CNN and other news media reports, the co-pilot had mental health issues. Investigators later found a ripped-up letter in a garbage can in Lubitz’s apartment in Dusseldorf, Germany that said he wasn’t fit for his job. After spending 90 minutes in the apartment, authorities left with boxes of paper and various folders of evidence. According to the New York Times, the police officers that searched through the apartment Thursday, March 26, found antidepressants. The Times also reported that notes were found by various doctors saying that the pilot was too ill to fly, including a note on the day of the crash. Additionally, Lubitz sought medical treatment before the crash for vision problems that could potentially put his career at risk, but never told the airline about his vision concerns, according to the Times. In the summer of 2014, Lubitz passed

his annual pilot recertification medical examination, but the exam only tests physical health — not mental — according to CNN. The recent finding of Lubitz’s speculated condition has sparked questions of how people should be deemed mentally fit to fly. In the United States, the Federal Aviation Administration requires captains to have their medical certificate renewed every year if the pilot is under 40 and every six months if the pilot is over 40, but this doesn’t include psychological tests, according to NBC News. “The system relies on pilots self-declaring, so unless a pilot is honest about an alcohol problem or a psychiatric disorder, there’s no guarantee a problem would be spotted,” said aviation psychologist Diane Damos, whose company specializes in pilot selection and screening, to NBC. Although there is a lot of speculation surrounding the mental state of the co-pilot, Lufthansa CEO Carson Spohr said there was “no indication what could have led the co-pilot to commit this terrible act,” at a news conference. Investigators are still trying to gather more information on the crash and Lubitz.

Crisis in Yemen prompts military investigation By Roman Orsini Staff Writer In Yemen, a rebel insurgency called the Houthis took over the capital, Sana’a, after a coup’ d’etat which began last September. Having ousted the government of President Abd Rabbuh Mansur Hadi, who has since fled to Saudi Arabia, the Houthis solidified political control in Yemen on Friday, Feb. 6, according to BBC. The crisis has prompted a recent military intervention by neighboring Gulf countries to reverse the coup. The Houthi rebels are part of a Shia sect called the Zaydi, which comprises 30 percent of Yemen’s population, according to Fox News. The group began its uprising in 2004 and has already fought a series of skirmishes

with the Yemeni government. Since the Arab Spring uprisings spread to Yemen in 2011, the group controlled territory in the northwest region of the country. The Houthis are not supported by all Zaydis and are now further at odds with Yemen’s majoritySunni population. According to RT, Saudi Arabia, while leading a coalition of eight other Arab states and Pakistan, began a bombing campaign against the Houthis on Wednesday, March 25. The operation, ironically named “Decisive Storm,” has been aimed at Houthi positions in Sana’a and is intended to twart the rebels’ advance in the hopes of reinstating the deposed government of Hadi. The coalition contains members of the Gulf Cooperation Council, (GCC): Saudi Arabia, Kuwait,

Bahrain, Qatar and the United Arab Emirates. The GCC is also joined by Egypt, Jordan, Sudan, Morocco and Pakistan. Hadi, speaking at a recent Arab League Summit in Egypt, called the Houthis “stooges of Iran,” according to BBC. The conflict has been described by correspondents as a “proxy war” between Sunni Arab nations and Shia Iran, according to BBC. As a Shia militia, the Houthis are supported by the Iranian government, whom the Gulf States fear is working to destabilize the region and bring its influence to their backyard. Saudi Arabia and Iran are already considered to be regional rivals: The two support opposing sides in the Syrian Civil War and have been at considerable odds

AP Photo

President Abd Rabbuh Mansur flees to Saudia Arabia.

over Iran’s nuclear development in recent years. The latest crisis in Yemen has pitted them against each other again. It remains unclear just how far either side is willing to expand the conflict, yet according to NBC, Saudi Arabia has recently mobilized 150,000 troops near its border with Yemen. As the situation in Sana’a

began to deteriorate last month, the United States evacuated its diplomatic staff and military personnel from Yemen on Wednesday, Feb. 11, according to TheBlaze. Although the U.S. is not playing an active military role in response to the crisis, it’s providing intelligence support to the Saudi-led coalition.

Sigma Alpha Epsilon under fire for racist chants

AP Photo

A video of SAE brothers chanting racial slurs sparks outrage.

By Candace Kellner Staff Writer

The Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity has faced a firestorm of national attention after a video surfaced in which members from a chapter at the University of Oklahoma sang a racist chant on Saturday, March 7. According to CNN, the involved students were suspended by SAE’s national chapter, but University of

Oklahoma President David Boren was less tolerant. Boren decided to terminate the university’s affiliation with the fraternity altogether. While this news comes as a shock to the community, this is not the first time that SAE has been involved in controversy. Five years before the American Civil War, SAE was founded at the University of Alabama, according to the fraternity’s website. The number of members drastically dropped when the war began, with 369 members who “went to war for the Confederate States and seven for the Union Army,” the website says. Now, the fraternity is home to more than 200,000 living alumni and 15,000 undergraduates populating 219 chapters and 20 “colonies” seeking full membership at universities, according to CNN. SAE national President Bradley Cohen wrote in a message on the fraternity’s website that after a sequence of member deaths — many blamed on hazing accidents — SAE has had to work hard to maintain its reputation. According to CNN, SAE’s website lists more than 130 chapters that were cited or suspended for “health and safety incidents” since 2010. These incidents consisted of at least 30 hazing cases and dozens of alcohol-related cases. Some of the brothers of the now-disbanded University of

Oklahoma SAE chapter have been receiving death threats, according to a lawyer for the chapter’s board. Attorney Stephen Jones told CNN that some members of this disbanded chapter of the fraternity have been physically assaulted. In a news conference, Jones said he does not condone the racist video, saying that there was “no justification for what occurred. Zero.” However, he said he is involved to assist the board of trustees in “evaluating certain legal issues” and protecting the fraternity members rights to due process and the First Amendment. According to CNN, the fraternity’s national office said that it is looking into the incident. “We are committed to following the due diligence and protocols that we have set forth in our fraternity laws, as they are designed to enable us to make deliberate decisions that reflect our commitment to our standards and to our members,” the national office said in a statement. The national office is also investigating incidents that involved other chapters of the fraternity. “Several other incidents with chapters or members have been brought to the attention of the headquarters … and each of those instances will be investigated,” the national office said in a statement.

page 8 The Signal April 1, 2015 SAF FUNDED








April 1, 2015 The Signal page 9


Off-campus living a better alternative than on-campus housing

Congratulations, if you were one of the fortunate few to get a good time slot for housing. You probably have a better chance of winning the actual lottery than getting New Res or Eick in the housing lottery. So if you’re stuck in the ABE basement or the bowels of Centennial, wise up and move off-campus, next time. Living off-campus is the best decision you will ever make at the College. Experience the mythical world outside of the College loop. Remember that time you had to take the stairs up to the eighth floor because the elevator was broken? Or when the elevator was fixed but polished with the urine of a drunken floormate? You won’t have to deal with any of that off-campus. Maybe you really enjoy eating at Eick everyday. Maybe you really enjoy hearing Katy Perry’s “Dark Horse” while you wait 40 minutes for your wok, just to have it stolen right before your eyes. If for some reason you don’t like resorting to eating pizza for the third straight day, you can eat whatever you want off-campus. Cook your own food, get a meal plan or eat Chipotle everyday. It’s your choice. Off-campus living provides choices and luxuries that on-campus just can’t offer. No longer will you be forced to use half-ply toilet paper. Buy 18-ply toilet paper if you want. Have fast and reliable Wi-Fi. In fact, imagine the amount of Netflix you could watch and the lack of studying that you could do with working Wi-Fi. One of the worst parts about living in the dorms is having annoying neighbors. Everyone has, at least once, been trying to sleep or do homework when your neighbors decide to play music really loud or the people above you have an impromptu stampede at 3 a.m. If you move off-campus, chances are your neighbors will be a 60-year-old local that will make almost no noise. And if you move into a house with friends, they will respect your sleep and work schedule, keeping the noise to a minimum. So, how do you convince your parents to let you make the leap to the off-campus world? Living in a house is usually cheaper or the same price as living in the dorms. Calculate the cost of rent, internet, heating and food expenses and compare that to the price of living on-campus with a meal plan. Depending on the house and the number of people living in it, a house may be the better option, especially compared to the price of living in Campus Town. Most of all, living off-campus forces you to grow up and be completely responsible for yourself. It may seem scary, but you’re going to have to learn to pay bills and live on a budget sooner or later — in other words, you might as well do it while your parents will still agree to pay for everything. — Matt Bowker Sports Editor

Editorial Content Unsigned editorial opinions are those of the Editorial Board, which consists of the Editor-in-Chief, the Managing, News, Features, Arts & Entertainment, Opinions, Photo and Sports editors and the Business Manager, unless otherwise noted. Opinions expressed in signed editorials and letters to the editor are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Signal.

Courtney Wirths / Business Manager

While the College offers several on-campus housing options, such as the Townhouse, living off-campus provides students with valuable life experiences.

Correction Email: Telephone: Production Room (609) 771-2424 Business Office (609) 771-2499 Ad Email:

Editorial Staff Tom Kozlowski Editor-in-Chief Julie Kayzerman Managing Editor Colleen Murphy Sydney Shaw News Editors Matt Bowker Sports Editor Jonathan Edmondson Arts & Entertainment Editor Kimberly Ilkowski Features Editor Ellie Schuckman Opinions Editor Samantha Selikoff Photo Editor

Mailing Address: The Signal c/o Brower Student Center The College of New Jersey P.O. Box 7718 Ewing, NJ 08628-0718 Jessica Ganga Nation & World Editor Mackenzie Cutruzzula Review Editor Chelsea LoCascio Production Manager Olivia Rizzo Web Editor Mylin Batipps Social Media Editor Gabrielle Beacken News Assistant Michael Battista Sports Assistant Emilie Lounsberry Advisor Courtney Wirths Business/Ad Manager

In the article “Changes coming to Liberal Learning”, published on March 24, 2015, it was reported that the College would unveil an official Anthropology major in the fall of 2015. This is incorrect. The College plans to undergo a process toward launching the prospective major sometime in the near future, but no date has yet been set either to begin the process or introduce the major.

Quote of the Week “We need to do a better job of improving civic understanding of the law. Everyone is presumed to know the law on their 18th birthday, but that’s not the case.” — Dr. Hank Fradella, associate director of the School of Criminology and Criminal Justice at Arizona State University

page 10 The Signal April 1, 2015



C U B ’ S A C O U S T I C C O N C E RT F E A T U R I N G




TCNJ College Union Board @TCNJCUB @TCNJCUB

April 1, 2015 The Signal page 11


Religious freedom boundaries pushed too far

New law discriminates against LGBTQ community

By Ellie Schuckman Opinions Editor In lieu of several states recently passing “religious freedom” laws, the question of discrimination and individual beliefs have become increasingly entangled. Just last week, Indiana became the 20th state to adopt a “religious freedom restoration” law, thus allowing businesses to refuse service to people if they were deemed to be going against one’s beliefs. These laws are unjust and specifically target the LGBTQ community. Supporters of the law have noted bakers who refuse to make a cake for a gay couple’s wedding and florists who refuse to sell them flowers. It is abundantly clear that the law aims to give those bakers and florists a way to fend off inevitable lawsuits. According to CNN, the law came after an “outcry from social conservative circles over incidents where business owners found themselves in hot water after refusing services to gay couples planning to get married.” But what about the couple who simply wanted a cake? It is 2015. How does making a cake for two people who love each other — regardless of their gender — go against

religious views? How is that thought so much to bear that an individual can’t stand to make a simple cake? Though Indiana Governor Mike Pence, who passed the law, has assured that it is not about discrimination, many are still up in arms, and some have even threatened to boycott businesses in the state. “This bill is not about discrimination,” he said. “And if I thought it was about discrimination I would have vetoed it.” However, according to CNN, “civil liberties and gay rights groups assert that the law could be used by businesses to deny service to people based on their sexual orientation and justify that discrimination on their religious belief.” It is ridiculous how some people are so narrow-minded as to feel the need to deny others basic liberties because they feel personally offended. Religion should not be used as an excuse for a battle fought years ago — equality. In modern society, it is mind-numbing that individuals still can’t simply accept one another for who they are. It is even more alarming that state legislators allow such prejudicial bills to pass with flying colors. While Indiana is not the first state to pass such a law, Adam Talbot, a spokesman with the Human Rights Campaign, a

AP Photo

Indiana Gov. Pence believes the new law in place is not discriminatory. gay rights group, stated how those other states’ laws are “dramatically different in their scope and effect … Indiana is the broadest and most dangerous law of its kind in the country.” The law states that governments can’t “substantially burden a person’s exercise of religion,” and those who feel that their religious beliefs are being impended upon can use the law to fend off lawsuits. But what exactly a “substantial burden” is remains undefined by the law. It is, presumably, up to the judge to

decide when a case comes into play. Again, a major hole in this law. Each case could be seen differently all depending upon which jurors are assigned to hear it. It is atrocious that laws are now being used to defend such childish behavior. People are people, no matter to whom they are attracted. A man liking a man or a woman liking a woman does not define who a person is. Someone loving someone else does not define who they are, and laws which give others the right to refuse them service is, in itself, an injustice.

Greek life hazing must stop, more punishments needed

AP Photo

Levi Pettit apologizes for leading racist chants in SAE. By Alyssa Sanford

College fraternities all across the country are making headlines, from Penn State to the University of Oklahoma to Dartmouth College. Their misdemeanors are nothing short of deplorable, and the media storm swirling around them is more than warranted. Still, the question remains: Are the repercussions strong enough? The public seems to think so. Members of the University of Oklahoma’s Sigma Alpha

Epsilon fraternity appeared in a viral video in the beginning of March, joining in a racist chant with references to lynching. The response was immediate: Within hours of the video leaking online, the University closed the chapter and forced members to leave the fraternity house. Later, two of the students leading the chant were expelled and have since made public apologies for their actions, according to the New York Times. University of Oklahoma was lauded for its swift handling of

the scandal. It denounced SAE and expelled the chief offenders from the University, much to the satisfaction of both the black student union on campus and the general public. Admirable, yes. But it leaves something to be desired. It recently came to light that the Alpha Delta fraternity at Dartmouth College, which has been suspended since March 2014 for hazing violations and alcohol-related charges, would be suspended until 2018 for branding its new members, according to ABC News. The suspension was intended to be lifted on March 29, 2015, but this new piece of information prompted the college to extend the ban for another three years. And at Penn State, the already-suspended Kappa Delta Rho chapter landed in hot water after their “secret” websites containing photos of naked, unconscious women in seriously compromising positions were discovered, according to the New York Times. Some of the women in the photos are contemplating pressing criminal charges. Again, these universities took

action and did what could be done. But it still isn’t enough. These are isolated instances of hazing, racism and misconduct. Universities can naturally only do so much when handling these cases. They can expel students, shut down fraternities and even press criminal charges, but they can’t get to the source of the problem. That has been proven countless times. The Greek life culture needs to change for that to happen. If the national organizations made it clear that this kind of behavior was inexcusable; if the members themselves enforced more stringent codes of morality; if pledges weren’t harassed and hazed just because it’s part of a long-standing tradition, maybe this wouldn’t happen.

“The Greek life culture needs to change.” It’s 2015. This kind of behavior can’t be tolerated anymore. The perpetrators of these sickening acts shouldn’t have to be expelled

to understand that it’s wrong to belittle other human beings or to take advantage of them simply because that’s how these things have always been done. However, not all fraternities behave like this. Some haze, but not to the extremes the media reports about. Some are strictly just having fun with the new pledges, and nothing wrong with that. It becomes a problem when that thin line of “just having fun” and terrorizing the new brothers is crossed. Despite the philanthropy work fraternities do participate in, it becomes difficult for many to support them when constant cases of horrifying injustices are heard. After all, extreme cases are the ones that make headlines. Then again, not all fraternities get caught, thus raising even more questions. It is going to take serious time for national organizations to implement changes that will truly take effect and stop extreme acts of hazing once and for all. No matter what the answer is, one thing is abundantly clear — the Greek life culture is in desperate need of change.

Policies The Signal is published weekly during the academic year and is financed by the Student Activities Fee (SAF) and advertising revenue. Any student may submit articles to The Signal. Publication of submitted articles is at the discretion of the editors. The letters section is an open forum for opinions. Submissions that announce events or advertise in any way will not be printed. All letters should be sent via e-mail to Handwritten letters should be sent to The Signal, c/o The Brower Student Center, The College of New Jersey, PO Box 7718 Ewing, N.J. 08628 or placed in our mailbox in the Student Life Office. Letters must be received by the Friday before publication and should not exceed 300 words. The Signal reserves the right to edit letters for space and clarity. All letters must be signed, with a phone number and address of the author. Requests to withhold the author’s name will be honored only if there is a legitimate reason. All materials submitted become the sole property of The Signal. The editors reserve the right to edit or withhold all articles, letters & photographs. The Signal willingly corrects factual mistakes. If you think we have made an error, please contact The Signal at (609) 771-2424, write to the address listed above or e-mail us at

page 12 The Signal April 1, 2015



When Words Collide

Do What I Say Rap Entrance Mac & Cheese


Do What I Do Opera Exit PC

Tuesday, April 7 2015 SSB Atrium, 5:00 PM Sponsored by the School of Humanities and Social Sciences, the Philosophical Society and the TCNJ Parliamentary Debate Society Food

Exuberant and Original Conversation


April 1, 2015 The Signal page 13

Fun Stuff Thought of the day: i was gonna

throw my bike away, but then thought... ...why not re-cycle it?!

oh word? another puzzle?


solve these sudoku puzzles






page 14 The Signal April 1, 2015

Arts & Entertainment

‘Gossip Girl’ star brings his band to the Rat By Kimberly Ilkowski Features Editor

With the closing of the Rathskeller just a month away, one of the best ways to say goodbye was to hold one of its biggest shows to date. The bar was over-capacity on Friday, March 27, for indie-pop darlings Prinze George and soulful rockers MOTHXR to take the stage amidst the chaos of fans. Prinze George dazzled the moment they hit the stage, wearing edgy and fashionable all-white ensembles. With a sparkling dress that continuously caught the light, lead singer Naomi Almquist shined while performing songs off the group’s debut, self-titled EP.

Almquist’s dance moves flowed to the rhythm of music, with Kenny Grimm jamming on his guitar and Isabelle De Leon dripping with fierce girl power as she killed it on the drums. The Brooklyn-based trio had the crowd swaying and singing to songs like “This Time,” “Upswing,” “Victor” and a sugarysweet cover of The White Stripes “We’re Going To Be Friends.” The band just wrapped up a stint at South By SouthWest Music Festival in Austin, Tex. where they played a show a night. “It was just a crazy, nuts, eyeopening experience,” Almquist said. “There’s no sound checks and it makes you learn to just let go and

Kimberly Ilkowski / Features Editor

MOTHXR, led by Badgley, performs a passionate rock set.

that the show must go on no matter what happens.” The three had previously never been on tour before, so the experience also helped them find ways to survive being on the road. “We learned how to function on very little sleep,” De Leon said. Any lack of sleep they experienced from being at the festival was not visible at the show, as they rocked the crowd with high synths and drum solos by De Leon. By the time MOTHXR finally took the stage, it was nearly impossible to navigate through the sea of people waiting for them to perform. The large display of student attendance was caused by frontman Penn Badgley, who is widely known for his role as Dan Humphrey on the teen drama “Gossip Girl.” Transitioning from acting to a career in music, Badgley displayed his skills on both vocals and guitar, as he led the crowd into a night of bluesy croons and smooth guitar solos. The band, which has only been making music for roughly a year, played various singles such as “Stranger,” “Victim” and “Centerfold,” each with a distinctive, sultry flair. These songs and many more

Kimberly Ilkowski / Features Editor

Almquist stuns while singing lead vocals for Prinze George.

will appear on their upcoming fulllength release, but those who attended the show may be surprised by how the live versions of the songs will appear on the album. “I listen to a lot of R&B and soul music, and you can hear a lot of that on the record,” Badgley said. “Our live sound is more rocky. It’s really a minimal album, I don’t play guitar on it, and there’s less long instrumentals.” As Badgley moaned into his microphone, the incredibly talented Simon Oscroft shredded guitar at his side with Darren Will on synths and a new drummer who performed with a constant smile Although

many students were there to see one of their favorite actors, it was important for them to see this different side of him and support his current endeavours. “There’s that one element of it, you’re lucky if you’re able to find it,” Badgley said of the same passionate spark he gets from acting as well as performing music. “That’s how you know you’ve found a very special place when you can feel it (in another medium).” The group is set to take on summer music festivals, starting in August with Full Moon Fest at Governor’s Island in New York City and TBD Festival in September.

Baby Wants Candy performs improvised musical By Brandon Agalaba Correspondent

There is no topic or joke off-limits when an improv group takes the stage — and the College’s own Mixed Signals know this well. The student improv group left their audience in stitches on Tuesday, March 24, in the Mayo Concert Hall, while opening for professional musical-improv group, Baby Wants Candy. The Mixed Signals, comprised of a group of talented student performers, played five, energetic games to warm up the crowd. The members of the group had an audience member shout out a random word, which served as inspiration for the following scene. One audience member shouted the word “salami,” and what followed was a hilarious game in which two of the members discussed the difference between bologna and salami while making

world-famous sandwiches. The games also involved a character named “Peanut,” despised by his family, and a series of short jokes about diabetes. All throughout, the Mixed Signals played various characters with gusto and enthusiasm, and the games were funny and engaging. “My favorite part of the show was either the ‘Peanut’ part or the ‘Diabetes’ part,” freshman finance major Ziyi Wang said. When the members of Baby Wants Candy perform, they create completely improvised musicals, and they are backed by a pianist that plays fitting music to their actions. However, the group started their show in an unorthodox way — by interviewing a student, senior community and career studies major Matthew Ianacone. Various facts were revealed about him over the course of the interview, such as his participation in scavenger hunts

Samantha Selikoff / Photo Editor

The Mixed Signals pump up the crowd with a hilarious opening set.

Samantha Selikoff / Photo Editor

Baby Wants Candy performs an original musical, ‘Grand Budapest Motel 6.’ and his plans for the future. After the interview, the group did a skit that detailed various adventures from a man being late to a race to going on rides in Disneyland. Next, they encouraged audience members to give them ideas for a musical to do. Shows from the past included “You’re a Good Man, Justin Bieber” and “Build Me a 200 Ft. Sigourney Weaver,” while the title they chose for the night was “Grand Budapest Motel 6.” In “Grand Budapest Motel 6,” the story followed the adventures of a talkative but endearingly goofy motel worker named Shelley and two teenagers as they tried to solve a mystery that involves missing friends and ghosts. Other characters introduced were an uncle and his niece who worked at the motel. Scenes from the musical included Shelley’s actions on her first day as a motel worker and the uncle revealing his evil nature. The musical ended with the uncle being defeated, and Shelley, the teens and the niece owning the motel.

Baby Wants Candy’s show was zany, wild and full of energy. Even though the musical was improvised, it was just as professional and entertaining as a scripted musical. The actors’ performances were fantastic and full of gusto. There was a lot of humor in the show, and the songs accentuated the lively experience. In particular, a memorable song called “Mohell” was significant for the musical, as the uncle sang about wanting to marry his niece and trying to keep guests inside the motel forever. “Mohell” was sung in a hilarious but simultaneously unsettling way, and it was a highlight of the musical. “It was my first time coming to TCNJ,” said Jen Connor, a member of Baby Wants Candy. “But it is really fun to do college shows.” The Mixed Signals and Baby Wants Candy contributed to a fun night that was full of jokes, memorable moments and fun for the College community.

April 1, 2015 The Signal page 15

Battle / Local bands impress during Rat competition

Kimberly Ilkowski / Features Editor

The Great Airport Mystery wins the night’s top honor. continued from page 1

the days of watching Star Wars VHS tapes. “Now our EP continues that story.” The band of high school friends plans

to release an acoustic EP this summer and hope to play as many shows as possible in the upcoming month. “It just feels fantastic. I wasn’t expecting it,” Gilpatrick said on the band’s first place

win. “There was a lot of talent in here, and our style is a bit different. It’s not the same (type of) music, so I’m glad people could embrace it and have them see the passion we put into it. The audience seemed to get into it as much as we got into it.” The rest of the night’s performers did not leave empty-handed. The three other acts will be put into WTSR’s local rotation, which commonly features talent from all over the area. Where Is My Spaceship put on an impressive punk set earlier in the night. Lead by John Evensen, clad in stud-toed combat boots and a kitten shirt, the band was a mash up of early Green Day’s heavy basslines and the earnest lyrics of fellow Jersey outfit The Front Bottoms. “This might be the most people I’ve played in front of,” Evensen said. “This is like a life milestone.” Their full-length album “Mostly Crocodile” was created over the course of four years, with Evensen engineering, mixing

and playing every instrument except the drums. The band hopes to play more shows outside of New Jersey and work on their next record throughout the rest of the year. Trenton-based band Levelhead showcased their indie punk style with vocalist Damien McGown jumping around stage backed by T.J. Foster on bass, Dillion Mara on drums and Ethan Stout on guitar. They jammed to original songs like “Bare,” “Headlights” and “Spin Doctors.” The night’s first performers, The Wailing Kids, featured Mike Sindora on vocals, Joe Morrongiello on drums and Matt Gibbons on bass. The Hamilton, N.J. rockers just released an EP this month entitled “I Saved Latin,” from which they played various tracks. Gibbons’ stoic presence on bass was contrasted by Morrongiello’s fast-paced, jackrabbit style drumming and Sindora’s animated bobbing. The competition was an overall success, giving up-and-coming local bands the chance to display their talents and gain new fans.

Provost Taylor recounts her inspiring life story By Mackenzie Cutruzzula Review Editor

As part of Women in Learning and Leadership’s (WILL) various events for Women’s History Month, the College’s own Provost and Vice President for Academic Affairs, Jacqueline Taylor, read from her memoir, “Waiting For the Call: From Preacher’s Daughter to Lesbian Mom.” The reading on Tuesday, March 24, in the Library Auditorium had special significance for Taylor, as it was the 31st anniversary of when she and her spouse Carol Settler began their relationship. Taylor’s memoir has a heavy focus on finding your purpose in life. With her spouse in mind, Taylor’s eventual purpose to be a wife and mother with Settler was clear, but her journey there is clearly what makes Taylor a humorous and relatable person. “My father surrendered to the call when he was 13 years old,” Taylor said on her father’s vocation to become a preacher. “When I was 10 years old, I wanted my call.” Growing up in Kentucky as the daughter

of a Southern Baptist preacher, Taylor was told her calling in life would come to as a message from God. Taylor grew impatient of waiting, and by the age of 10, she was “chock full of pep and ideas” and wanted God to tell her what she should be doing with all of them. Taylor hoped her call would be to become a missionary, following in the footsteps of Lottie Moon. Moon was a surprisingly independent missionary in the late 1800s who, in such a conservative religion, was able to travel to China and, despite many offers, never marry. However, despite all her dedication and hopes, Taylor never received her call from God to be missionary and eventually put away that dream as she grew up. While she was never inspired to be a missionary, Taylor was able to find her own calling within herself as a young woman. “I didn’t want to be a teacher, nurse or secretary — I wanted to be a leader,” Taylor said about her aspirations when she was younger. Stuck between her ultra conservative upbringing and true identity, Taylor felt

constrained in her first marriage to a man. She knew she wanted to be a “character,” not a “sleepwalking wife and would-be mother.” When the character she was waiting to become did arrive, her life quickly changed. “Just like that, my marriage ended and I was a lesbian,” Taylor said laughing at the abbreviated timeline. Despite her parents’ initial disagreement, they always supported her relationship with Settler and, with further acceptance and time, made Settler apart of their family. “I think it’s amazing how she broke so many barriers,” freshman English major Jenna Brophy said. “She defied the stereotype that a preacher’s daughter has to be a certain way. She was able to come out and be a lesbian, and that was comforting to me because everyone should get to be themselves in life.” Settler and their adopted daughters, Lucy and Grace, were Taylor’s true calling in life. Although not living the traditional life that 10-year-old Taylor expected herself to be living, her daughter slowly

learned that everything happens for a reason. After explaining faith and destiny to her children, 5-year-old Lucy pieced together that Taylor’s life had always been a series of events, ultimately leading her to the moment she went to Peru to adopt Lucy and then Grace. “You are my destiny,” Lucy said to her mother later that day. And in that moment, Taylor finally found her calling. “I really liked how honest she was because that is what made her so relatable to me,” said freshman special education and history double major Allyson Vilanova. “Her stories showed me that you can come from a small town and not really being yourself but still find a way to become successful in what you actually want to be doing.” Taylor believes that we are all still evolving. We don’t just get one call in life — we get several. She knows that she is still on a journey because she still has more questions than answers in her life, but she doesn’t feel as unsettled about trying to find those answers anymore.

‘Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt’ is a smash Netflix hit By Julia Woolever Staff Writer

It is perhaps fate that “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” made its premiered on Netflix less than a month after the finale of the beloved “Parks and Recreation,” because Kimmy Schmidt is here to fill the Leslie Knope-sized hole in your heart. “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” follows the adventures of the titular heroine, a young woman who was held captive in an underground bunker for 15 years by the megalomaniac leader of a post-apocalyptic cult. Upon being rescued and discovering that the world has most certainly not ended, Kimmy, played by Ellie Kemper of “The Office,” decides to make a new life for herself in New York City. The grim setup is an unlikely premise for a comedy, but it works because the show does not avoid this grimness. Kimmy constantly struggles with leaving behind her traumatic past and forging a new identity outside of the cult. In fact, it is in these moments of

personal crisis that Kimmy shines the brightest. Spurred on by the belief that the worst event of her life has already happened, Kimmy takes on the challenges of living in New York City with an optimism that gives Knope a run for her money. Seen through the eyes of Kimmy, the city is an explosion of color and an arena of unlimited opportunity. The first season sees Kimmy get a job, go on a date and enroll in GED classes, all of which naturally go awry at one point or another. Through it all, Kimmy’s spirit truly proves unbreakable — and infectious, at that. Come to the show for Kimmy, but stay for the equally wonderful cast of supporting characters. Jacqueline Voorhees, played by Jane Krakowski of “30 Rock,” is a Manhattan socialite, Kimmy’s boss and caricature of all the worst things about the ultra-rich: she has a refrigerator devoted to bottled water and runs a charity where she donates her old monogrammed towels to poor people with the same initials as her. But it turns out that Jacqueline is not so different from Kimmy after

all. With a mysterious past and a struggle to define herself apart from her cheating husband, Jacqueline’s journey is parallel to Kimmy’s, which creates a far more complex character than expected. The bond formed by the two is an awesome testament to the importance of friendship and identity for women in the 21st century. The star attraction, at least in his own eyes, is Titus Andromedon, Kimmy’s roommate and the requisite sassy gay black friend. Stereotypical as that may be, Titus is one of the funniest sitcom characters in recent history. Played by Tituss Burgess, he is a struggling stage actor whose single goal in life is to become wildly famous. In pursuit of this goal, he embarks on endeavors such as creating a one-man revival of “The Lion King,” taking a job as a werewolf in a theme restaurant, and attempting to create a viral video. In regards to the latter, you will never be able to think about pinot noir again without singing about Roseanne Barr and caviar. As with Kimmy and Jacqueline, Titus has a surprising complexity

AP Photo

Burgess and Kemper star in Netflix’s quirky, new comedy.

as he comments on social issues. The show attempts to use humor to highlight darker issues. Titus pines that he is treated with less suspicion when fully dressed as a werewolf than he is as a typical black man walking down a New York street. He only half-jokes that he wouldn’t know whether to check off “black” or “gay” on a hate-crime form. Of course, none of this would work if “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” wasn’t as hilarious as it is. Head writers Tina Fey and Robert Carlock flood the script with jokes and asides, many of which

revolve around Kimmy’s lack of knowledge of 2015, which she can’t stop calling “the future.” She proudly shows off her first selfie saying “hash brown, no filter.” Topping off the show is several cameos that are too great to spoil, but they continue to add to the fun. With a vibrant heroine, a humor all its own and an insanely catchy theme song, “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” is a total delight. The best part? All 13 episodes are available to binge-watch right now. So clear your schedule and get ready to meet your new best friend.

page 16 The Signal April 1, 2015


The Final Three

Thor Electric Longboards: Jenna Wilson, Ian Nolan, Jamie LeRoy

SPONSORS: Dr. Buddy Mayo Eric Szabo ‘97

FINAL JUDGES: Joseph Haddock ’97 Mary Lauria ’86 Stacy Mattia Morayea Pindziak ’99 Eric Szabo ’97 SBDC MENTORS: Lorraine Allen Carla Fallone

Tikka Roll: Pauleena Pal, Mehak Aswani, Sheenal Parikh

ProjectSpotter: Jessica Gorham, Matthew Hellenbrecht, Eric Sawyer, Patrick Kelly

1st: $22,000 2nd: $12,000 3rd: $6,000


April 8, 5:00 pm

Library Auditorium ~ Spectators Welcome!

April 1, 2015 The Signal page 17


‘TCNJ EPCOT:’ around the world on campus

Photo courtesy of Jade Mannheim

Students use the hashtag #askaboutmyculture.

By Olivia Rizzo Web Editor

With national flags from all across the globe draped from the ceiling, lively dance performances and over 20 cultural organizations featured, “TCNJ EPCOT: A Celebration of Diversity” transformed the Brower Student Center into a festival of cultural exploration on Thursday, March 26. Hosted by Student Government and the Committee of Equity and Diversity, “TCNJ EPCOT” aimed to expand the campus’ understanding of various cultures

and promote diversity. Payal Ved, a junior philosophy major, spoke on how the idea to showcase the various cultures at the College came about. “We’ve been seeing a lot of things in the news that are anti-Islamic or anti-Semitic or very negative about other cultures,” Ved said. “This event is a way to start a conversation about cultural differences and moving toward acceptance.” Ved stressed the importance of trying to counteract the negativity that surrounds different cultures that the media often presents. A social media

campaign titled #askmeaboutmyculture was created to continue the discussions happening throughout the night. Booths from over 20 cultural organizations on campus dominated both floors of the Student Center. Organizations provided information, food and crafts related to their cultural background. As students toured the various displays, they became educated on just how many different cultures are present on the College’s campus. “We’ve heard that we have a lack in culture,” Ved said. “The point of the event is to learn about other people’s cultures through food, activities and performances.” Not only was it a vehicle to start a deeper conversation about culture across the College’s campus, “EPCOT” proved to be a night of rousing entertainment. The completion of a passport scavenger hunt activity, molded after the Walt Disney World EPCOT Park experience, won participants a free T-shirt which promoted the event’s social media campaign. For those who enjoy thrills and spills, a ride on a mechanical bull or a sumo wrestler duel satisfied their needs. For those with a culinary appetite, a free buffet was offered featuring foods from across the globe. Participants

could also document their experience with a memento at the green screen photo booth. In addition to the food and fanfare, an exhibition of cultural talents were displayed at the event’s main stage in the Lions Den. Dynamic performances by Black Out Step Team, TCNJ Kokikai Aikido, TCNJ Barkada, Sigma Lambda Beta and the Chinese Student Association Dragon Flies Dance Team all showcased their talents on stage. The audience, in turn, was captivated by

their intricate routines. “I’m surprised by how many people have shown up,” Ved commented as she looked around the crowded Student Center. “This is a great turn out for a first-year event.” There is no doubt the “TCNJ EPCOT” experience, was an absolute success in its first year. Student Government has plans to make it a legacy event and have it featured each spring. After all, the best way to learn is through experience.

Photo courtesy of Jade Mannheim

CSA Dragon Flies Dance Team showcases its talents.

Reapproaching sexism and rape in the law Fradella advocates for intellectual discussions By John Irvine Staff Writer

“Rape” and “consent.” These are two words that generally bring to mind clearcut meanings. However, perhaps they’re not as straightforward as we’ve been led to believe, according to Hank Fradella, a professor in and associate director of the School of Criminology and Criminal Justice at Arizona State University. And perhaps the laws that surround these words aren’t so straightforward, either. “What if the female consents to initial penetration, then withdraws her consent during an act of intercourse, but the male

continues against her will?” Fradella asked. “Would this be considered rape?” Such questions were not only fuel for discussion, but they also highlighted laws that can’t always capture the intricacies of each situation in Fradella’s talk “Sex, Sexuality, Crime, and (In)Justice: A Look at the Evolution of the Social Control of Rape,” which he delivered on Thursday, March 26, in the Education Building. “We need to do a better job of improving civic understanding of the law,” Fradella said. “Everyone is presumed to know the law on their 18th birthday, but that’s not the case.” And so the problem is compounded. We are dealing with imperfect laws,

Photo courtesy of Jade Mannheim

Students take part in a group discussion following the lecture.

which many people do not have a full grasp of in the first place. “Our brains are not even fully developed until our mid ’20s, yet we hold people to the standards of the law at 18,” said Fradella, who majored in psychology as an undergraduate student at Clark University before acquiring a J.D. from The George Washington University and a Ph.D. from Arizona State University in interdisciplinary justice studies. It is our job as citizens in a democracy, Fradella suggested, to begin intellectual discussions as often as possible. Just by making people more aware of these issues, of the nuances in the meanings of the words “rape” and “consent” and of the laws around them, do we move one step closer to eliminating these problems. Education, it seems, can be one answer to mitigating sexism, racism, ageism and homophobia, among other issues — not just from our laws but more simply from our world. And this is not a five-year program with heavy research and a dissertation education. This is the education that anyone can provide: an intellectual discussion at the end of which two or more people are more knowledgeable about these issues. “We will never stomp out racism and sexism in the law, but (we) can make it so that these things are the exception and not the rule,” Fradella said. The talks that Fradella delivers, mostly on college campuses owing to

their notoriety for rape, are his way of getting these discussions started. He hopes that those who attend will leave as more educated individuals who can then start their own discussions as educators themselves. Caitlin Wiesner, a senior history and Women’s and Gender Studies double major who attended Fradella’s talk, now finds herself much more informed on some of these complicated topics. “Fradella’s talk gave me a historical context of what constitutes as a rape with a more structural breakdown from a criminology perspective,” Wiesner said. “I was given some new things to think about that I never figured into my definition of it.” Wiesner said the talk also made her reconsider how she defines consent. “It made me realize how difficult it is to prove things like consent in the courtroom,” Wiesner said. Fradella hopes this cycle of education will perpetuate itself, and help people to steer clear of breaking the laws. But for the laws themselves, we must work to combat sexism there as well. “We can definitely do better at dealing with sexism in the law, but that’s already too late … eliminating sexism needs to start with uteri,” Fradella said. In other words, sexism must be countered in each individual and at the roots of culture, not merely when an issue arises in the courtroom.

page 18 The Signal April 1, 2015

History of New York City 2015 Maymester Travel Course May 26 - June 12, 2015 HIS 165-02: Dr. Michael Marino The History of New York City combines classroom instruction with unique on-site learning opportunities in New York City. Students will have the opportunity to trace New York City's development from colonial times to the present day. The class will meet during Maymester, Monday through Thursday, 1:00pm-4:15pm. Excursions include day trips to the Tenement Museum, New York Historical society , NYC Panorama, and NYC Transit Museum. Course will meet in NYC on 6/8, 6/9, 6/10. Course fulfills Historical Perspectives LL requirement and department elective requirements.

For more information and travel application visit:

April 1, 2015 The Signal page 19

:April Fool’s

‘06 Singal shenanigans

Kimberly Ilkowski / Features Editor

The fake front page boasts ‘sexy Roscoe photos inside.’

By Kimberly Ilkowski Features Editor

The March 29, 2006 edition of The Signal was entitled The Singal, the newspaper’s annual April Fool’s issue. These papers are notorious for their wild and outlandish made-up news stories that push the boundaries of what the campus community deems acceptable. Among the many scandalous fake stories that week, the special “Sex, Drugs and Murder” Cop Shop stood out for it’s crazy tales of the secret life of Campus Police. In Ewing police were called in when a student complained that she had found “balls in your face” written on her dormitory door, but Campus Police did not respond to her call. They busted into a noisy room on the other end of the hall to find the entire Campus Police force playing beer pong, making drinks from what amounted to be 30 gallons of seized liquor and snorting lines. Excessively loud rap music could even be heard from the complaining students room


Ewing police charged the entire force with distribution of alcohol to minors, along with a series of other misdemeanors including vandalism and urinating in public. Accordingly to the dispatcher, the entire force had slowly trickled out after a call about a particularly rowdy party on campus. None of them had returned when the student found the message on her door, so she was forwarded to Ewing police. Detective Hardass of Campus Police admitted to writing the obscene message on the students door, claiming “it’s payback for all those unpaid parking fines.” The student declined to comment, except to note that she doesn’t even have a car on campus, let alone any unpaid parking fines. … A student was charged by Campus Police with “being a little dickweed” after making an anonymous call to police that hid underage roommate and his friends had been drinking in their residence hall. Unbeknownst to the student, the police traced the call to his cellphone and

Campus Style By Heather Hawkes Columnist Transitioning your closet from one season to the next is never an easy task. With an unstable climate that can go from freezing to 65 degrees in the span of just a few hours, it can be nearly impossible to put together an outfit that will keep you comfortable as well as fashion-forward all day. Thankfully, there are always ways to be innovative and create completely new looks without having to open up your wallet. So let’s talk about something that several of us tend to have a surplus of — scarves. This is probably one of the most transitional pieces that you can own, simply because scarves are completely free-form and can be worn in hundreds of different ways. Here are two great uses for scarves that will help your wardrobe blossom. The Fresh Spring Wrap: Take the widest scarf you have, open it completely, and place it around your back (as if you’re wrapping a blanket around yourself). Next, leave one end hanging down over your left shoulder and grab the end of the scarf that is hanging over your right shoulder. Take this end, pull it across your chest and wrap it around to the back of your left shoulder. Finally, take a safety pin or broach and secure the right end of the scarf in place. This creates an effortless, Parisian-inspired wrap that allows you to break up with your winter coat and start your new spring fling. Belt it Out: Take two or three thin silk scarves and braid them together. arrested him instead of his roommate. “It makes me sick,” Sergeant Butenfine said. “These kids try to have a little fun, enjoy college a bit, and some loser goes and tries to ruin everything.” According to Butenfine, the only time a student can be arrested for drinking is when they are making an actual nuisance of themselves. If Campus Police responded every time someone was caught underage drinking, there wouldn’t be anyone available to respond to serious

Harper’s Baazar

Scarves can be worn anytime.

Don’t be afraid to tie scarves with different patterns and colors together — as long as you keep your outfit simple enough to balance out your look. After you’ve made your braided scarf belt, you can either loop it through a cute pair of distressed boyfriend jeans or even tie it around a fitted dress to accentuate your waistline. Tie the belt a little off-center and let the loose ends fall down your side. This elegant and sleek tie belt is the perfect new DIY accessory for this spring season.

crimes, like parking violations. “If you don’t like drinking, it’s like going back to your dorm to find a sock on the doorknob; you go stay in your friends room for the night. Of course, I’m assuming this little wanker doesn’t have any friends,” Butenfine said. Fratz 4 Booze, an on-campus drinking rights activist group, said it will press charges against the student for “endangering the right to alcohol” and “miscellaneous nerdiness.”

Hollyword: 1D heads in 2 Directions

AP Photo

One Direction will go on without the beloved member.

By Johnanthony Alaimo Columnist

Years from now, you’ll be gathered around the warm glow of whatever electronic Apple released that year, as you tell your grandkids where you were on that fateful day.

Maybe you were writing a paper. Maybe you were on the elliptical. Maybe you were like me and former President George W. Bush, choking on a pretzel. Whatever you were doing, you’ll remember and never forget. You’ll know where you were when you

found out that Zayn Malik was leaving One Direction. We’ve been through this pain before. When Ginger left the Spice Girls, we knew the ’90s were over and that we were probably all going to die from Y2K. When Justin Timberlake left N*Sync, we knew that we would never get our fill of frosted tips ever again. Now that Zayn — arguably the Ginger of One Direction — has left, I can only wonder what other plagues God has in store for us. FEMA has obviously been activated to ensure that everyone gets through this dire emergency. Please, avoid any room that houses a girl between the ages of six and 99 (we cannot be too careful). Have enough canned food, water, tissues and tour CDs for at least four months or until Zayn releases his solo album. We are living in a post-apocalyptic

world, and we have to get used to it. From this day forward, the year will be recorded as AD-1D (After the Death of One Direction). Please change your calendars accordingly. I will leave you all with this. Even when the lights seem the

dimmest they’ve ever been and you can’t find it in yourself to put that One Directionthemed electric toothbrush in your mouth because it hurts too much, just know this: At least you were never a fan of The Wanted. Godspeed, everyone.

Teens across the globe cry over Malik’s departure.

AP Photo

page 20 The Signal April 1, 2015

TCNJ Muslim Students’ Association Presents

ISLAM AWARENESS WEEK March 30th – April 3rd, 2015

MONDAY MOOZ-Lum Movie Screening 7:00pm @Library Auditorium

“Amid a strict Muslim rearing and a social life he's never had, Tariq enters college confused. New peers, family and mentors help him find his place, but the 9-11 attacks force him to face his past and make the biggest decisions of his life.”

TUESDAY Hijab-a-thon | Ask a Muslim

Meal Equiv @Stud, 7:00pm @Business Lounge

Ladies, stop by the stud to borrow a scarf to wear a hijab for the day! Everyone, drop your “Ask a Muslim” questions in boxes around campus and join us later to share your experience and hear your questions answered.

WEDNESDAY Fast-a-thon

7:00pm @Eick

Be our guest! Take a break from food and drinks all day to raise money for Trenton Soup Kitchen and then come to Eick to break your fast flavored with the rich Halal tastes of the Islamic world.


8:00pm @Mayo Concert Hall

A night of laughs with Muslim comedians, Mo Amer and Atheer Yacoob

FRIDAY Bring a Friend to Jummah!

1pm @Spiritual Center

Attend our weekly Jummah prayer service and sit in on the sermon and observe the prayer. Questions will be entertained at the conclusion. Special thanks to the African-American Studies, Religious Studies, and Women and Gender Studies Departments and the Student Finance Board

April 1, 2015 The Signal page 21

Greek / Festival is a celebration of culture Students experience new cuisine and dances

Photo courtesy of Brendan McGeehan

The Hellenic Greek Dancers of New Jersey exude energy.

continued from page 1

Verdugo explained how a familyowned store, The Greek Store, in Kenilworth, N.J., that has been in business for over 50 years, made the food specially for the festival. It was not just a night to celebrate and enjoy the delicious food, but a night that was special to those of Greek culture. Wednesday marked Greece’s Independence Day, a day that commemorates the start of the War of Greek Independence in 1821. “(I’m) excited to celebrate the Greek culture that’s important for Greek history,” Kalavrezos said about having the festival on the Greek holiday. “And it’s nice to show our pride.” In Greece, the holiday is celebrated in towns and villages throughout the country, with schools holding a parade where school children march in traditional

Greek costume and carry Greek flags. The country’s capital, Athens, celebrates by having an annual military parade every year where thousands of people line the streets of the city to show their pride. The Hellenic Society celebrates the festival around the same time each year to coincide with the Greek holiday, allowing them all to celebrate the day together. “Being able to be a part of the Hellenic Society, it’s good to be part of an organization where you can share a common culture with your peers,” junior marketing major Agy Serghiou said. The students were not only happy to be celebrating the holiday together as an organization, but with the other students of the College. “The Greek culture is all about welcoming other people into the culture, and we just really wanted to introduce it to everyone and to let everyone know about Greek history,” Kalavrezos said.

At the end of the festival, the Hellenic Greek Dancers of New Jersey, who were dressed in traditional Greek costume, entertained students. The dancers entered the middle of the Brower Student Center to the sound of Greek music holding hands, eventually making their way into a circle. People clapped along with the music as the men of the group jumped, leaped and kicked in the air. The men could be heard throughout the eight different dances yelling “hey” and “opa.” One dance had a male performer dance while balancing a shot glass on his head, impressing the on-looking audience, as the glass stayed securely on his head as he got lower to the floor. Like the food, dancing is an important and prominent part of the Greek culture and means a lot to the people

who participate in the dances. One of the members of the Hellenic Society, freshman fine arts major Melina Magriples, has been a member of the dance group for six years and is “extremely passionate” about Greek dancing. “There is something called ‘kefi’ in Greek dance,” Magriples said. “There is not an exact definition for it, but it means something along the lines of passion. It is such an extreme feeling that I have difficulty putting into words. It is the feeling I get when dancing and knowing that I am sharing my heritage with the people around me. The ‘kefi’ I feel when dancing is my favorite part.” The night ended with everyone who shared food and watched the dance performances together feeling the same “kefi” that the members of the Hellenic Society feel about their own culture.

Photo courtesy of Brendan McGeehan

Students try a buffet of authentic Greek dishes such as spanakopita.

Trenton Computer Festival in its 40th year The College hosts various design workshops

Photos courtesy of Jillian Festa

Left: The MakerBot Replicator 2 makes incredible 3D-printed objects. Right: Various 3D-printed objects are on display, including figurines. By Jillian Festa Staff Writer As part of the Trenton Computer Festival, the Sarnoff Collection in Roscoe West held a 3D printing demonstration and design tutorial on Saturday, March 21. The brief, drop-in workshop allowed visitors to learn the basics of 3D printing through the program FreeCAD, which can be downloaded for free online. The Trenton Computer Festival (TCF) is the oldest computer festival in the world with a 40-year history. This year at the College, the TCF included a number of activities, focusing

on wearable technology. Speaker Dan Rosenbaum, technology journalist, award-winning writer and wearable tech insider, delivered a keynote on singularity — the compelling hypothesis that artificial intelligence will exceed human intellectual control. Other popular events were the Raspberry Pi and Arduino tutorials and workshops, as well as the ham radio cram session. This allowed participants to get an amateur radio license in just one day at TCF. A vendor hall with an assortment of tech-related items was also a feature. Dr. Rebecca Mercuri aims to expand the 3D printing demo, hoping to include new technologies in

next year’s festival. Within a few hours, attendees were able to design and print a small medallion with a design of their choice. The printer used at the demonstration was the MakerBot Replicator 2, which can be purchased online for approximately $1,899. It printed each pocket-sized medallion in under 10 minutes. Examples of 3Dprinted objects were on display, including a 3D chess board. The workshop was very wellattended, attracting tech enthusiasts of all ages from New Jersey, Pennsylvania and New York. Among the attendees were graduate students, looking for career connections; middle-schoolers,

seeking hands-on experience with the revolutionary technology; computer science, engineering and interactive multimedia students from the College, who might wish to make a career out of 3D design and printing and tech aficionados from surrounding towns. The hosts of the tutorial, Mercuri and Kevin Meredith, were readily available and willing to answer any visitors’ questions or concerns about 3D printing. Mercuri is a digital forensics expert and President of Notable Software, Inc. She conducts forensic computing investigations and provides expert witness testimony on a broad

range of criminal, civil and municipal matters. She has dealt with matters involving child endangerment, malware, hacking, murder, financial fraud and election recounts, notably in the Bush v. Gore election. Meredith, who led the 3D printing project for the IEEE (Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers) Princeton and Central Jersey Section, is an engineering major at Drexel University. He is an Arduino programmer, designer, electronics experimenter and historian of electronic musical instruments. His object designs can be found on the Thingiverse 3D printing site.

page 22 The Signal April 1, 2015

 Complete the FAFSA online at  TCNJ’s College Code is 002642  Remember income tax data can be easily transferred from the IRS to your FAFSA using the IRS Data Retrieval Tool  IRS Tax Return Transcripts will be required if you are selected for verification & if you do not use the IRS Data Retrieval Tool  Parents & students are required to have a federal PIN to electronically sign the FAFSA  The FAFSA must be filed by 6/1/15 for Tuition Aid Grant (TAG) consideration

 Don’t forget to respond to the additional questions required by the State of NJ on the 2015-2016 FAFSA confirmation page

April 1, 2015 The Signal page 23

Sports Baseball

Roberts blasts three home runs in Lions win

Photo courtesy of the Sports Information Desk

The Lions defeat Alvernia with stellar defense.

By Jessica Ganga Nation & World Editor

After a successful week in sunny Florida, the College’s baseball team came back to a busy schedule, including a doubleheader on Sunday, March 29. Despite the rain, the Lions were able to win two out of four of their games and improve their record to 7-7. The Lions took on Alvernia University on Wednesday, March 25, and were led by junior pitcher Evan Edelman. Edelman was able to scatter just seven hits

over nine innings to shut out Alvernia. Edelman struck out five batters, issued zero walks and allowed only two batters to reach second base during his nine-inning stretch on the mound. The College’s offense put the team on the board in the first inning of the game. Leadoff hitter junior John Rizzi and sophomore C.J. Gearheart got on base with a couple of walks. Following a balk by the Alvernia pitcher, both were able to move up to third and second. Senior Anthony Cocuzza shot a sacrifice fly to right field,

bringing Rizzi in for the 1-0 lead. Alvernia’s defense was not together during the game, which the Lions took advantage of in the top of the seventh. Sophomore Ben Varone dropped down a bunt for a base hit and made it to second base after an off-balanced throw by the Alvernia catcher. Rizzi stepped up to the plate and, with a sacrifice bunt, moved Varone over to third. On the play, the pitcher threw the ball away, allowing Varone to coast home and score the second run of the game. With two outs in the inning, junior Garen Turner doubled to right-center field to score Rizzi, putting the Lions up 3-0. The Lions’ defense was flashing the leather as they made great defensive plays throughout the game. In the bottom of the eighth, senior Mike Murray caught a hard line drive and fired the ball to first, doubling off the runner. Junior Patrick Roberts had a tremendous game on Friday, March 27, against Haverford College. The outfielder had three home runs in a huge 10-1 win against 9-1 Haverford. Once again, the Lions were on the scoreboard early in the game,

putting up two runs with two outs in the first. Cocuzza walked and moved to second on an error that put Turner on first. Senior Josh Limon singled to center field, plating Cocuzza and Turner and putting up a quick two runs for the team. Roberts stepped up to the plate in the third with Cocuzza on first after a walk. With two outs, Roberts hit a line shot over the rightcenter field fence. In the fourth, Roberts entered the batters box again with runners on the bases and two outs. Roberts drilled his second homer over the scoreboard in right making the score 8-1. After Roberts worked the count full in the ninth, he hit a solo bomb that traveled far over the scoreboard. Roberts is now hitting .452 this season. On the mound, freshman Joe Cirillo pitched six scoreless innings. He allowed the opposing team only seven hits and walked none. After the two games were rescheduled due to weather, the Lions played their home opener against Kean University on Sunday, March 29. The team suffered a pair of losses against the

15-4 team. In the first game, Kean got on the board early with a run in the first and continued tacking on runs throughout the game from there, scoring four in the second. The Lions tried to come back in the bottom of the fourth, with Cocuzza starting it off by hitting an infield single and then stealing second. Turner stepped up and doubled to left, bringing Cocuzza in to score. Roberts followed with a base hit to left-center field to move up Turner. Limon shot a long fly to left, and Turner came into home to score the second run. Junior Matt Facas would eventually single to right field, scoring Roberts and making it 7-3. Despite the effort, the team was unable to take home the win, and senior pitcher Connor Smith took the loss. In the second game, the Lions came close, leading the game until Kean tied the game at five apiece in the fifth inning. The College allowed five unearned runs to score, giving Kean their 10-5 win. The Lions are set to take on Stockton University at home on Thursday, April 2.

Cheap Seats


Lacrosse sweeps week Eagles’ Chip Kelly risks it all Lions pick up a pair of wins By Anthony Caruso Staff Writer The women’s lacrosse team was a perfect 2-0 this week, even though both of the games were on the road in Pennsylvania. With these wins, they are now 5-2 on the season. However, they’re 3-2 on the road and 2-0 at home. On Tuesday, March 24, the College traveled to Collegeville, Pa., to take on the Ursinus College Bears whom they defeated, 11-3, in an hour and 35 minutes. The Lions scored seven goals in the first half and added four in the second half. The Bears, conversely, scored a goal in the first and two in the second. Junior Cortney Natalicchio scored four goals, while senior Kendal Borup added three goals. Freshman Amanda Muller added two, while sophomore Mia Blackman and senior Ava Fitzgerald had a goal each for the College. Bears goalie Margaret Philbin picked up the loss for Ursinus, who had seven saves in 49:57 minutes. Meaghan Corbin made three saves in 10:03. Kelly Schlupp picked up the win for the College, while making five saves in 60 minutes. On Saturday, March 28, the Lions returned to Pennsylvania as they faced the Eastern University Eagles. Much like the Ursinus game, this was another blowout win. In this game, the College won 17-1 over the Eagles. The team scored 12 first half goals and five in the second

half, while Eastern only had a second half goal. Fitzgerald and Borup each scored four goals for the Lions. Four players had two goals each, including senior Erin Healy, Blackman, Muller and Natalicchio. Freshman Emily Kratz also scored a goal, the first of her career. The Eagles lone goal came from Victoria Rath. Alina Odjemski picked up the loss, as she gave up 10 goals and made four saves in 12:31. She was replaced by Courtney Adnres, who made two saves and allowed seven goals in 47:29 Schlupp picked up her fifth win and made a save in 46:41 in the Lions’ win. Then, she was replaced by Christina Fabiano, who allowed Rath’s goal at 13:19.

Photo courtesy of the Sports Information Desk

Fitzgerald adds a goal.

AP Photo

The Eagles’ trade for Bradford remains highly debated.

By Matt Bowker Sports Editor

I do not know what Chip Kelly is doing. The media does not know what Chip Kelly is doing. The team does not know what Chip Kelly is doing. I sure hope Chip Kelly knows what he is doing. Kelly, the head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, has completely decimated the Eagles’ roster of talent in favor of injury-prone players that may win the division, but are more likely to crash and burn like the Hindenburg. One thing’s for sure: If the Eagles fail, Kelly will almost certainly lose his job. Let’s start with the biggest move of all: Nick Foles for Sam Bradford. Yes, the same Nick Foles that went 14-4 under Kelly and has the third-highest passer rating in an NFL season.

The same Nick Foles that threw seven touchdowns in a game, tying an NFL record. Kelly traded his “quarterback for the next 1,000 years” for a quarterback that has greatly underperformed since being drafted first-overall in the 2010 draft. This may be due to the lack of talent he had to throw to in St. Louis or his glass ACL that seems to tear at the very thought of a defender charging at him. Bradford can be a solid NFL quarterback when healthy, but the problem is he is never healthy. Bradford has only played 33 out of a possible 48 games over the last three seasons. With Bradford’s health issues, the Eagles have much more to lose in this trade than the Rams. So why would the Eagles also need to throw in a valuable second-round pick for

Bradford, who may very well suffer a serious injury early in the season? Nobody knows. It just doesn’t make sense. The trade wasn’t the only questionable move of the offseason for the Eagles, however. Kelly traded the Eagles’ star running back, Lesean McCoy, to Buffalo for another injury-prone player, linebacker Kiko Alonso. This trade is actually quite easy to defend from Kelly’s standpoint. By getting rid of McCoy’s $11 million cap hit in 2015, the Eagles were able to sign Demarco Murray, a running back that fits the system much better than McCoy, and Ryan Mathews for the same price of McCoy. The trade allowed the team to solidify a young front-seven with the potential to be great. In his rookie year, Alonso, who is just 24 years old, led the league in tackles on a bad Buffalo team. If he can return from his own ACL tear and play at a high level, the Eagles will have a scary front seven that will be very tough to run on. In essence, the Eagles received a player that can be the cornerstone of their defense for the next decade for an aging player, which plays a position which makes him expendable. Nobody, not even Kelly himself, knows if these trades will make the team better than last season. At the very least, Kelly has given ESPN something to talk about for the next six months.

page 24 The Signal April 1, 2015


Initial Registration Period for Undergraduate and Graduate Students

Tuesday, April 7th Through Friday, April 17th

Your enrollment appointment reflecting the first time you will be eligible to register for the Fall 2015 semester can be accessed via your PAWS account. To view your scheduled enrollment appointment, visit the Enrollment Appointment section in the PAWS Student Center. Once eligible, students remain eligible throughout the registration period. Undergraduate students who do not register by 11:59pm on Sunday, April 19th will be subject to a late registration fine. Graduate students have until July 15th. Late Registration Fine Undergraduate: $150 Graduate: $125

The Fall 2015 Schedule of Classes is available on PAWS and can be viewed by using the Search for Classes button. Winter 2016 registration opens along with Fall 2015 registration. Check PAWS frequently for upcoming winter course offerings and consult with your advisor for appropriate course selections. Meet with your advisor: we encourage you to schedule an appointment with your advisor to review your academic plan, learn of any changes in requirements, opportunities within your department, as well as career opportunities.

Visit the PAWS HELP website for complete information on how to log-­‐in to PAWS, search for classes, browse the Course Catalog, view your Holds, add courses to your Shopping Cart, and register for classes: Use the Validate feature directly from your PAWS Shopping Cart to check for potential pre-­‐requisite issues before registration! For more information on the Validate feature, visit: Check PAWS early and frequently for Holds that will prevent you from registering. All Hold Flag information can be viewed under the Holds section in the PAWS Student Center. Access your Academic Requirements Report on PAWS to view your degree requirements via the Advising Tools link. Double-­‐check call numbers and course sections prior to your registration appointment for schedule changes and periodic updates.

Graduate Students: If you are a non-­‐matriculant who is applying for Fall matriculation, you should not register during this timeframe. If accepted for matriculation, you will be invited to register during one of the Graduate Studies orientation sessions.

April 1, 2015 The Signal page 25

THE SOCIAL INNOVATION CHALLENGE S u n d ay, A p r i l 1 2 @ 1 - 4 p m T C N J S c h o o l o f B u s i n e s s L o u n ge SAF Funded

Come be a part of a lively, action-packed day where we will follow a guided process of design thinking to generate innovative solutions to a relevant problem at TCNJ. Register your team of 4-6 people by April 8 for a chance to win a grand prize! Only the first 10-12 teams are guaranteed a spot at the challenge.

Register now at Questions? Contact us at

Presented by

page 26 The Signal April 1, 2015



WHO IS MUHAMMAD? Join us to learn how Muhammad was named the world’s most influential person and how he promoted both human and woman’s rights!

When: Monday, April 13th, 2015 @7PM Where: Education Building, Room 115 Pizza Will Be Served!

4 6


April 1, 2015 The Signal page 27


DORM 5 3

Kevin Luo “The Ref”

Josh Kestenbaum Staff Writer

Matt Bowker Sports Editor

Michael Battista Sports Assistant

In this week’s Around the Dorm, the “Ref,” Kevin Luo, asks our panel of experts three questions: Who is the biggest winner and loser of NFL free agency, what has been the biggest surprise of March Madness so far and who is the favorite to win NBA MVP?

1. Who was the biggest NFL free agent winner and loser? Josh: In my opinion, the biggest loser of NFL free agency was the San Francisco 49ers, and the biggest winner was the Indianapolis Colts. The Niners have nearly completely lost the core of the team that took them to the Super Bowl just over two years ago. Gone are Jim Harbaugh, Frank Gore, Mike Iupati, Patrick Willis and Justin Smith. The addition of Torrey Smith does little to offset the massive losses that the Niners have sustained this offseason. One team that was a beneficiary of the explosion of the Niners’ roster was the Colts. Adding Gore, along with Andre Johnson, gives their offense the additional threats that it clearly needed in last year’s playoffs. They also bulked up on defense with the signing of Trent Cole. The Colts are clearly gearing up for another run at the AFC Championship and a trip to Super Bowl L . Matt: The 49ers are not only the losers of this offseason, but probably the biggest losers of the decade. In a matter of a week, they

AP Photo

went from perennial Super Bowl contender to first-overall pick contender. With Patrick Willis and Chris Borland retiring, Aldon Smith’s fragile mentality and Navarro Bowman nursing an ACL tear, the Niners have been decimated at linebacker, which was once the heart

of their team. As for the winner of the offseason, I think the Buffalo Bills have drastically improved and may challenge the Pats for the AFC East division title. The Bills added LeSean McCoy, Percy Harvin and Charles Clay to greatly help new QB Matt Cassel’s

inconsistent play. With Rex Ryan now at the helm, the Bills’ young defense should be even better than a year ago and could potentially become a top-five defense, even with the loss of safety Da’Norris Searcy. Michael: The biggest winner of free agency is the Buffalo Bills, while the biggest loser would have to be the New Orleans Saints. The Bills did a lot in the offseason, picking up Rex Ryan as their head coach and trying to revamp a team in desperate need of a change. The acquisitions of LeSean McCoy, Percy Harvin and Matt Cassel are just that. While some of these players are coming off poor seasons, the talent is there and the Bills know this, and that is going to make the AFC East interesting to watch this year. Meanwhile, the Saints seem like a team with money, but they don’t know what to do with it. Letting players like Darren Sproles walk and picking C.J. Spiller, with higher pay then Sproles wanted at that, makes me and many others question who truly has the reigns down at the Superdome.

Josh gets 3 points for discussing all of the 49ers’ departures. Matt gets 2 points for discussing the Bills’ additions, and Michael gets 1 point for not mentioning Jimmy Graham.

AP Photo

2. What has been the best storyline or moment of March Madness so far? Josh: I think the best player and team storyline of the tournament has been UCLA and the emergence of their junior forward, Tony Parker. The Bruins were not expected by many to even be included in the field of

68. However, the team made it as far as a win away from the Elite Eight with rival Gonzaga knocking them out. The Bruins are getting hot at the right time. While their opening-round win over SMU was widely controversial, their absolute dismantling of UAB in the round of 32 was anything but.

In the game against UAB, Parker went 11of-14 shooting for 28 points and also reeled in 12 rebounds. This was a far cry from his three points against SMU on 1-6 shooting from the field. Matt: The story of the tournament so far has been Michigan State’s run to the Final Four. The Spartans are a team that make deep runs in the tournament year after year, but after an average regular season in an average conference, there were serious doubts about how far this team could go. To the dismay of bracket owners across the country, Michigan State has knocked off higher seeds, — including a very good Virginia team — to return to relevancy. There’s no doubt Michigan State is this year’s Cinderella team. Head coach Tom Izzo has shown his coaching chomps by taking an average team and making them play great. All the while, he’s remained a somewhat likeable guy. I’m looking at

you, Coach K and John Calipari. Michael: The biggest storyline of March Madness is Michigan State University and its incredible play during the tournament. After being placed as a seven seed, a call which had a lot of people calling foul against the NCAA board, the team has shown consistency and strength in every game it has played this month. At the time of this writing, they have beaten fourth seed Louisville in overtime with impress management of timeouts, fouls and, of course, those baskets that almost move in slow motion as you wonder if they’ll make it. Their play and coaching is all thanks to the impressive leading of Tom Izzo, who has now guided his team to five Final Four appearances in his entire career at MSU. As we continue to watch this team, wondering what they’ll do next, I keep asking myself, why the hell did I take them out of my Final Four?

Michael gets 3 points for discussing Michigan State’s incredible play. Josh gets 2 points for his choice of Tony Parker, and Matt gets 1 point for the jab at Coach K. 3. Who is your pick to win NBA MVP? Josh: I realize this is probably the easy answer, but sometimes the most obvious choice is the best choice. Russell Westbrook is my NBA MVP. Westbrook’s insane play is the biggest reason why the Thunder now sit in a playoff spot in the West with a three-game lead over ninth-place Phoenix. Westbrook currently leads the entire league with an average of 27.3 points per game. He is also second in the league in steals per game and fourth in assists per game. Westbrook has maintained this level of dominance in the absence of fellow stars Kevin Durant and Serge Ibaka. While the current active roster for the Thunder is still capable, they could be much better on paper. Westbrook, however, has kept them in the chase for a sixth-straight postseason berth. Matt: Today, the MVP award typically goes to the best player in the league, not necessarily the most-valuable player in the league — a player without whom the team would fall apart. I believe that player is Golden State’s Stephen Curry. Curry is the sole reason his team has a commanding 10-game lead for the top spot in the incredibly competitive

Western conference. Curry is in the topsix in the NBA in points per game, assists, steals and leads shooters in shooting percentage. While Curry has Klay Thompson to help carry the load, Curry is undoubtedly the leader and all-around better player. Curry’s scoring is down from last year, but he has become a more all-around player by cutting down on turnovers and increasing his shooting percentage. Without him, the Warriors would be fighting for an eighth-seed. Michael: The MVP has to be Stephen Curry. He has helped the Golden State Warriors maintain their position atop the league this year and has a damn impressive season by himself, as well. Playing in the West can be a challenge in the NBA, but when you’re averaging about 24 points a game, eight assists per game and are shooting 40 percent or better from deep, there is no denying how good and irreplaceable you are. He also leads the league in steals at this moment, almost like he’s stealing this race … anything? No? Alright. In any case, Curry is the top player right now in an already tight race, so I expect a lot of things late in the season and beyond.

Josh gets 3 points for discussing Westbrook’s performance. Michael gets 2 points for discussing Curry’s play, and Matt gets 1 point for saying the team would fall apart without Curry.

Josh wins Around the Dorm 8-6-4.

AP Photo



Softball continues hot streak, wins twice

Currently sits second in NJAC standings By Michael Battista Sports Assistant After an impressive display in Florida two weeks ago, the softball team finally had another chance to play on Sunday, March 29, against William Paterson University, coming away with two hard-fought wins. The Lions’ first game against the Pioneers was a pitcher’s duel for both teams early on, as the College was led on the mound by junior Ashtin Helmer against William Paterson’s sophomore Gabrielle Castelli. While Castelli let up a hit early on, Helmer held on to a nohitter going into the fourth inning. However, it was not to be, as the Pioneers were able to hit one to the outfield to get their first run. Helmer, though, said it didn’t really bother her at all. “I wasn’t thinking about that at all throughout the game,” she said. “I just stayed focus on making each and every one of my pitches work.” She was able to do just that, keeping the Pioneers to just five hits the entire game and leaving the

Utter smacks a home run to help the Lions to victory.

team scoreless in the end. Meanwhile, on the offensive side, the Lions took a while to get into it, which is a credit to the performance of Castelli and her team. But in the fourth, the ball really started to roll in the Lions’ favor, courtesy of RBIs from junior Deanna Utter and sophomore Colleen Phelan, making the score 2-0. Helmer claims these results come from the team changing their approach after watching William Paterson play.

“We had to make adjustments to be successful,” she said. “Toward the end of the game, we changed our approach and saw success.” That change in approach was capped off by Utter, who in the sixth, belted out a homer, making it 3-0. After another shutout inning, that would be the final score. As per the normal routine of the softball schedule, the team had little time to celebrate as game two of the doubleheader started soon after, and the games mirrored one another

Photo courtesy of the Sports Information Desk

almost all the way through. Once again, both teams had trouble finding hits thanks to the performances of Lions junior pitcher Katie Hourihan and the Pioneers’ sophomore Allison Podmajersky. Lions freshman infielder Bria Bartsch says their opponent was successful at mixing it up and keeping the team on their toes. “William Paterson did a good job at trying to keep us off balance at the plate, switching up pitches for each batter individually,” she said.

“I think the team just needed to see their pitchers through in order to start capitalizing on what they were throwing us.” It was in the last inning that the team really started to capitalize. Junior Christine Desiderio, Bartsch and junior Jamie Purcell all brought in runs in the seventh. In a game where the Lions were limited to only three runs, they were the ones standing tall in another 3-0 victory. The team, with a 9-3 record, now prepares for their next game at home against Rowan University on Tuesday, March 31, at 3 p.m. and 5 p.m. Right now, Bartsch says the team can be happy with how they played but must improve for next time. “We communicated well, our defense was solid, our hitting was good and the pitching phenomenal,” she said. “With that said, we can always keep improving. I think something we can work on as a whole is coming out strong offensively from the get-go so we can make a statement and score in the first inning.”

Men’s and women’s tennis shuts out opponents By Josh Kestenbaum Staff Writer The College’s men’s and women’s tennis teams were both active this past week, and each team went undefeated in their matches. The men defeated all three of their opponents, crushing Kutztown University, 9-0, on Wednesday, March 25; Hobart College, 9-0, on Saturday, March 28; and University of Rochester, 6-3, on Sunday, March 29. Junior Pierce Cooper won all three of his No. 1 singles matches this week, twice dropping the first set and fighting back to claim the victory. Cooper and fellow junior and doubles partner Billy Buchbinder were also undefeated in their three, No. 1 doubles matches, winning each in impressive fashion. Sophomore Mike Stanley and freshmen Sean Fernandez and Chris D’Agostino also went undefeated in their three singles matches this week, playing sixth, fourth and fifth singles, respectively. The freshman duo also finished 2-1 in doubles this week, losing a close match to University of Rochester. Stanley — along with his partner, sophomore Jack August ­— completed the sweep this week in the second doubles spot. “We’ve been working hard in the weight room, and we’ve been working hard on the

Lions’ Lineup April 1, 2015

I n s i d e

Photo courtesy of the Sports Information Desk

The women begin their spring season with a win over William Smith.

courts,” coach Scott Dicheck said about matches on back-to-back days. “That’s why you do all that training.” The men are now 5-1 on the season. They will return to the courts on Wednesday, April 1, against New York University at 3 p.m. In addition to the men’s success, the women’s team also won all of their matches this week, defeating William Smith College, 6-3, on Saturday, March 28, and University of Rochester, 6-3, on Sunday, March 29.

Saturday was the spring opener for the women, and they came out ready to win. The team’s depth played a large role in the victory over William Smith. While the Lions lost in the top matches of both singles and doubles, they were successful in the other matches, winning the remaining two doubles matches and securing victories in four of the remaining five singles matches. Another freshman duo was important for the women’s team to get the win.

Brittany Reedman and Maddy Stoner each won their singles matches and then teamed up to claim a victory at second doubles. Together, they secured three points for the Lions, equivalent to the margin of victory in the overall match. The women were in action again the next day, playing the second half of a double match against the University of Rochester along with the men’s team. The Lions matched the men’s success and topped Rochester, 6-3. Once again the women fell behind early, losing the first singles match. Their depth picked up four victories in the singles matches to take a 4-2 lead after the singles portion of the match. The women went on to secure two wins in the doubles round behind victories by Reedman and Stoner at No. 2 doubles and juniors Jasmine Muniz-Cadorette and Emma Allen at No. 1. “We played two good teams,” Dicheck said. “We felt like we had a good chance of beating them if we played the way we’ve been practicing, and (our girls) came out and just played as well as we had hoped.” The win improved the women’s record to 7-0 dating back to the fall season. They will be in action again on Friday, April 3, against Swarthmore College at 4 p.m.

46 53 Around the Dorm page 27

Baseball page 23

Lacrosse page 23

Chip Kelly page 23

April 1, 2015 The Singal page 3

Tarts & Entertainment

Dear Judith: A Message of Hope to the Future A call for help from a long-lost relative By Judith Singal The Best Advice Giver Dear Judith Singal, My distant relative from a past I am too keen on trying to forget, I am writing to you as a lastditch effort to alter the course of history and perhaps save the world from a fate most undesirable. In the not-too-distant future, Earthen governments will cease to exist as we know them, crumbling to corruption and political decay. This will throw the Earth in anarchistic turmoil, launching wars without leaders or purpose, famine without relief and leave civilizations devastatingly unprepared for natural disaster. Consequently, much of the population was forced to evacuate the planet and take to other parts of the galaxy in order to survive. What we didn’t foresee was the human conflict that tore apart Earth repeating itself amongst the stars. This new frontier for us has served only to intensify the bloodshed, and humankind stands at the precipice of extinction. You, Judith Singal, have the power to change this. If only we had done something differently in the past. If only someone was able to give us advice on how to leave in peace and harmony with one another. Please, Judith, tell humankind what to do in its delicate situation. You alone have the power to change the course of history. Also, I have been having some problems with my cabin-mate,

who just got into a Greek platoon and now doesn’t seem interested in hanging out with me. What should I do? All my love and admiration, Captain Judith Sungal 1st Ranked Officer — Interstel lar Armada Dear Captain Judith Sungal,

I feared this day would come. Ever since I stepped foot in this dusty old office and donned my Sia wig for the first time, I felt a strange aura around me. Its ghostly presence haunts me everytime I am in this office. I feel it breathing on my neck as I type. I started this column to help others. But now I know that I am meant to save the world. It feels natural, Captain, that you reach out to me on this day. It’s April. The flowers are blooming. The sun is shining. The birds are chirping. My wig is clean and shiny. Yet, there has been strange occurrences appearing all around our campus. Yes, world, I am a student at the Collegiate Studies Palace of New Jersey — although you would never, ever know it. Much like the award-winning musical artist Sia, I am wild and unidentifiable. Anyway, I digress. I immediately knew something was wrong when I saw a large wall outside The Brower Student Center. I felt the aura stronger than I ever had before. So I grabbed my wig and floated to my office, and naturally I find your letter sitting on

Gossip Girl

A rare photo of Judith Singal in her natural habitat. my desk. Captain, I am so sorry that this happened to you and your comrades. Here we are complaining about DOT1X and you are struggling to survive. As your distant relative I feel it is my duty to personally save you and the rest of humankind. Here is what I have to say to the campus community — be kind to one another. The Earth is round and big enough for everyone. When you see someone who looks lonely, say hello. Shake their hand. Offer them a free Red Bull. Steer them away from yelling men outside the Brower Student Center. Do you know why, my darlings? Because one day, like my dear great-great-twice-removedonce-forgotten-sister says, Earth will no longer exist. You will need friends and allies in places you never wanted to look before. Every step you take, there could be a potential person who you want on your side as the world ends and we float away to

another galaxy. Having the power to change the course of history is quite a weight on my delicate shoulders, but I know what I must do. I must keep spreading joy and light to not only the campus, but to the entire world. Which is why I am pleased to announce that I have accepted a new position as Editor-in-Chief of The World, a new publication that is delivered to every humans’ doorstep weekly. The pages are filled entirely with advice from yours truly, with handwritten notes encourage others to spread kindness. I might not be a superhero, but I can try my best. Before I take over this position, forever, I am going to be time traveling forward to see you, Captain. The miniature version of myself (who also has a Sia wig) will be giving advice in the intrium. Don’t worry, she’s literally a cloned version of me, just smaller and can dance better. As for your friend — I am

sorry. Greek life will do that to a person. But don’t worry, enough ailen hazing will bring him running back crying to you. Embrace him with open arms (or tentacles, or whatever you have in the future). You never know when you might need him and his Greek brothers. As I warm up my time machine, I would like to share with you all one final thought. It’s a quote from my great-grandmother, Judy Signal. I think it’s appropriate in our time of need. “One morning I sat outside my house and sipped hot tea from a coffee cup. I waved to the children walking by. I sighed when they ignored me. I smiled when they said hello. And sometimes those who passed by said, ‘I hope you enjoyed your coffee.’ And I would smile and wave and know that they were blissfully ignorant. Not that I blame them, though. We so often only look on what’s the outside. Why can’t tea be in a coffee cup? Why can’t the sun be as bright as the moon? I wish people would see that. I always do.” It’s a quirky quote, I know. But I think everyone can appreciate it. The machine is ready, and so am I. Please, earthlings, think about what I have said. When I return I hope to have even more insight for the future. Drink tea out of coffee mugs and keep smiling, darlings. I promise I’ll be back soon. Peace and Blessings, Dr. Judith Singal

Students roar over the closing of beloved Stud By Punny Boy Singal Social Chair

Behold, students: The big green fence has now graced the inside of campus, as it signifies something big — the inconvenience of being late to class. But it signifies something even bigger — the renovation of the Brower Student Center. Since 1976, the Brower Student Center has served as a place for students to come together in fellowship and enjoy student band performances, faculty-led discussions,

festivals sponsored by many on-campus student organizations and many other events. Now, the structure that has been held in tact for about 40 years will soon be history, and a brand new structure will appear right before our eyes in a couple of years. At some point of the renovation, the game room will be closed. Students will surely miss causing a racket by playing table tennis, going out of control with video games and getting a kick out of playing foosball in the game room. A main source of entertainment on campus for students, the game room

The Student Center gets ready to close its doors forever.

Someone’s iPhone Probably

is something that many students hope will return when the new and improved Student Center is unveiled. It looks like it’s also time to say good-buy to the College’s bookstore and convenience store that has served as a nice component of the Student Center for some time. It was nice to be on the same page as the associates in the store when buying or renting textbooks, buying the write pens and pencils, going right ahead and buying a hat, etc. If students were to say that the food court in the Student Center was not a great hangout spot in the middle of the day while getting their Meal Equiv, they’d be lion. For years, the Lions Den has offered a wide range of delectable choices of food that has never failed to meat students’ expectations. The café will probably stick around for quite some time during the renovation before its turn comes to get renovated. Nonetheless, lettuce take this moment to remember those berry tasty meals in which we’ve indulged. Who knows, though — maybe the Lions Den will return in a grand way and we’ll get another pizza the goodness. Speaking of food, there is another place in the Student Center that will forever be in students’ hearts even though it will be closed

for good. It’s known as the Rathskeller — or more simply — the Rat. No rodents are ever found there, yet the restaurant and pub’s name is one that every student of the College recognizes. Senior psychology major Jason Lombardi will miss going to the Rathskeller with friends and enjoying musical performances. “I enjoyed the performance from Tiny Moving Parts recently,” Lombardi said. “I also enjoy going to the Rat to see my friends perform during student soloist nights and student band nights.” According to Lombardi, while the Student Center has given him many positive memories, it does not deserve its nickname — “The Stud.” “It’s not nice-looking,” he said. “I think it should look better. The style is a bit old, so I think it should be renovated.” But to some students, it’s not about how it looks on the outside. True beauty is found on the inside. “I thought (the Student Center) could’ve looked a little nicer when I got to (the College),” junior civil engineering major Nhi Lam said. “But after looking at it for three years, it has become pretty endearing to me.”

Singal Sports

NFL draft sleeper picks to watch Biz Markie leads talented group of prospects By Duke Silver Jazz Enthusiast

With the NFL draft quickly approaching, analysts and coaches alike are looking to find hidden talent in the later rounds of the draft. These so called “sleepers” can make or break a team. Here are a few sleepers that teams should seriously consider in this year’s draft. Biz Markie: Remember this guy? The one-hit wonder, famous for his 1989 hit “Just a Friend.” Little did you know that he was once considered a top college prospect. Markie turned down scholarship offers from every big-name school in the nation to pursue his illustrious rap career. The rap game wasn’t kind to Markie, who is now looking to start a new career. At the ripe old age of 50, Markie is looking to pick up where he left off some 30 years ago. While his age may scare off some teams, he could be a steal in the later rounds of the draft. His body has not suffered the beating that other players his age have experienced from years of playing football. With this logic, this 50-year-old is actually closer to 25. He’s got what you need.

AP Photo

Brett Favre has been banned from making an NFL comeback. Tito McDuck Sr, lll: Another big, bruising, slightly-obese lineman. Weighing in at a lean 430 pounds, this former Arby’s employee has the size to turn heads at the next level and just about anywhere he goes in public. He may not be quick coming off the line — some would even say he doesn’t move at all. But stick this blob of mass on the field and no defender will

get by him. Bobby Boucher: People may remember Bobby from “The Waterboy,” but since his college days, he has grown up and now goes by the Waterman (not to be confused with Aquaman). Boucher was a star in his college days, both on the field and at the water cooler. After suffering an injury, Boucher has lived a

quiet life. He is frequently recognized at water coolers in the office where he works, serving water from the glaciers of Alaska to coworkers. But the glamorous life of being a water distribution engineer wasn’t enough for Boucher. He’s giving the Devil’s game one last chance and he won’t let Momma down! Bret Gavre: This quarterback is going to be tough to pass on for most teams. Scouts and analysts have compared him to Brett Favre, one of the greatest quarterbacks in NFL history. He throws like Favre, looks like Favre and he even wears Wrangler jeans to bed like Favre. But trust me, this is not Brett Favre. Favre has retired and unretired so many times, the NFL won’t let him unretire again. The only way he would be allowed back in the league is if he dressed like a 20-year-old kid and entered the draft using a pseudonym. Anyway, that’s enough about Favre. Back to Gavre: He is a true gunslinger and isn’t afraid to send those risque pictures. A true can’t miss prospect. These are just some of the can’t miss stars of this year’s NFL draft. Whichever team is lucky enough to select these guys is getting an absolute steal.

Ryan Howard still bad Bandwagon fans hide GM Amaro still has job Teams actually suck

AP Photo

Amaro does not care.

By Pembleton Ward British Guy

The Philadelphia Phillies have tried it all. Surgeries, rehab, weigh-training. None of it has made a difference in the health and downright terrible play of first baseman Ryan Howard. With no team willing to trade for the slugger, inept general manager Ruben Amaro Jr. is trying something new. Last week, the team brought in a “medicine man” to help the oftinjured Howard get strength back in his legs,

Dat Lineup April 1, 2015

I n s i d e

in hopes that he can once again, be average at baseball. “I am a big believer in ancient medicine,” Amaro said. “I don’t believe in science, vaccinations or conventional logic in any way, shape or form.” Amaro has been beaten on by just about anybody who knows anything about the game of baseball. After being named the MLB’s worst GM of 2014, and swimming with dolphins in the offseason, Amaro has vowed to try something new. “I should have been fired years ago,” said Amaro. “I honestly don’t know how I still have a job.” The medicine man is actually just a homeless man that wanders around Clearwater, Fla., the site of the Phillies spring training camp. “KONY 2012,” the medicine man said. Howard has hit .190 this spring, showing that he has actually gotten worse since the medicine man experiment. After trying other methods to help Howard, such as leech treatments, and sacrifices to various ancient mythical gods, Amaro is ready to cut his losses. “On Opening Day, we will finally cut our ties with Ryan,” Amaro declared. “After a video tribute to honor his career, Ryan will be burned at the stake for heresy and witchcraft. It’s clear Ryan has turned to the dark side and we must deal with it accordingly.”

By Dirty Mike Stunt Golf Cart Driver The good times seem like they may be over for a number of west coast teams, as Los Angeles remembers to forget they have a hockey team and people in Seattle focus more on coffee than being a 12th man. These are are only a few of the teams the West Coast bandwagons are starting to forget after their year of success. The Seattle Seahawks tried to repeat their Super Bowl success from last year but threw it away to the Patriots late in the game before starting a good old prison fight just to show how classy they are. “I’ve been a mainstay at CenturyLink!” one fan said. “Season ticket holder since 2011.” The Starbucks and hipster music shops in the area should expect to see an influx of customers now that the local team is on its way out of the local scene. The City of Angels is looking like it’ll have a large trash pick-up consisting of black Jonathan Quick jerseys, as the Kings may be on the outside looking in during this years playoffs. After a Stanley Cup-winning season last year, this failure to make the cut by

one point is such a travesty, no fan in their right mind would want to stay. “I dunno if I can trust this team,” said one Ari Gold, who had been a suite holder with the team since 2011. “My clients and I deserve the top talent in this town, not some shitty second rate club.” Both teams expect major ticket revenue loss, but expect everything to be fine since everything else being sold costs enough to reimburse the cost and then some.

AP Photo

Bandwagon fans are dissapointed.

46 53 George’s Corner page -8

Bigfoot vows Olympic gold page 54

Christian dads who vape page 3.14159

Pete Fiorilla is weak page 69