Issue 3, the Black & Gold, Volume 93

Magazine

the

Turn to the Winter Sports page on 6 for extensive photo and caption coverage of Central’s dedicated winter athletes.

&

December 17, 2013

Volume 93

Black Gold

Winter Break Special Edition

Issue 3 Winter Break

2013 MIPA Spartan Award Winner

Traverse City Central High School 1150 Milliken Drive, Traverse City, Michigan 49686 Graphic: S. Kearney

Pledge assimilation in the works

The Pledge of Allegiance is being implemented into the regular school hours

Photo: S. Hardin

For Christmas stories, fashion advice, traditions, wishlists, New Year’s resolutions, and Senate’s “Hope for Haiti” drive coverage, turn to pages 4 and 5.

A very chill Winter Concert 1.

Photo: A. Olson

Although some people have worries for the impending legislation, Jack Hawley ‘15 has no hesitations. “I don’t have anything wrong with it,” Hawley said. “Reciting the pledge shows national pride.”

According to Vandermolen, having a flag in each classroom was not a problem, “but to find a time in the day where we will all be able to recite the pledge is a little Business Manager more complex, especially if you & Staff Reporters look at the advisory structure. We he Pledge of Allegiance have advisory three days a week, was resurrected on camso what are we going to do on the pus yesterday, as Michigan other two days?” became one of the forty-five Many have said that the Pledge is states to mandate that students are a sign of national pride and a way offered time every day to recite the to honor America. pledge. The Michigan legislature “What is a patriot?” TCAPS passed two laws in Oct. 2012 slatSchool Board Trustee Scott ed for rollout this school year: one, Hardy said. “It sort of dovetails requiring that students are given with the whole pledge law thing. the opportunity to voluntarily So what’s patriotic behavior, is it recite the Pledge and the other that dissidence, or is it somebody who the flag be hung in each classroom participated in a war, and has come where the pledge is recited. back and are they patriots?”

However, details as to when and Paige Paul, a Civics and AP US where the Pledge will be recited Government and Politics teacher, are still unfolding. feels strongly “It’s not a problem about the meanNeither the law nor the district ing of the Pledge. has guidelines for to have a flag of the “I think that the implementation. whole United States in ev- of the premise “We have left it Pledge to each buildery classroom, but is flawed,” Paul ing to determine said. “Reciting the to find a time in the Pledge is seen by how this might work for them,” many as a way of day where we will TCAPS Superpromoting civic intendent Steve all be able to recite virtue, good and Cousins said. loyal citizenship. the pledge is a little I don’t think it re“I don’t think a single approach ally does that. To more complex.” would work for me, being a good every building or and loyal citizen Principal Rick every classroom. is participating in Teachers and our democracy.”

Vandermolen principals should Paul says votdetermine the best way to meet ing, protesting, joining a political this mandate.” party, or even posting your opinion Principal Rick Vandermolen online are good ways to participate is looking at models from other in our democracy. schools and collaborating with Another main concern is the West. Both elementary and middle religious aspect of the Pledge. Loschools have already implemented cal American Civil Liberties Union the Pledge into their daily routine (ACLU) representative Paul Bare across TCAPS. Parents and staff feels the “under God” segment to were notified via email last Friday. be a violation of church and state.

Students will be informed through “We have always maintained each advisory during the week of young people should not be implementation. Vandermolen compelled to combine faith with added that it’s likely students will patriotism.” Bare said. “If schools recite the Pledge sometime during want students to say the Pledge the beginning of the day. Friday’s of Allegiance, there can not be electronic notice stated that the any religious reference, in my own “Pledge will be conducted at the opinion. The Pledge law is just one start of the school day.”

Zach Egbert & Shaine Kearney

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Briefs

continued, page 7

Photo: M. Caldwell

2.

3.

Photo: M. Caldwell

Photo: M. Caldwell

1. David Hester, Director of Bands at Central, conducts at the annual Winter Jazz Band and Percussion Ensemble Concert on Dec. 12.

“We brought up two Jazz bands from East Middle School.

Since it’s a holiday concert, a lot more family is in town, so a lot more people attend it.”

2. Not for the first time that evening, Josh Belcher ‘14 slides into a sax solo. “I soloed twice,” Belcher said.

“The initial reaction to soloing—taking the spotlight—is fright, but after a while you get used to it. The instruments I’ve played, the parts I’ve had, I’ve soloed a lot to where I’m used to it.”

3. (Clockwise from bottom right) Nick Suminski ‘15, Chris Hall ‘14, Colin Huls ‘15, Dominic Farmer ‘15, Ivan Suminski ‘14, and Alex Lord ‘14 form the brass section. “Involving the middle school and high school in the same concert is something that’s been occurring more and more over the past couple of years,” Huls said.

“It’s trying to create a stronger connection between the bands.”

Central vs. West: “Acts of Kindness” battle

The two crosstown rivals have been pitted against each other in a cyberbrawl battle of niceness. The winner is to be declared nicest school

Hayley Rozema Staff Reporter

Photo: Courtesy of Instagram

Lifting a chair off Bronson Woods’ ‘15 head in a light-hearted stance to the “Acts of Kindness” competition are (clockwise from top-left) Joey Shepperly, George Madison, Matt Pupel and Jephte Jean-Claude, all ‘15.

“Bronson had tripped and fell down in weights,” Shepperly said. We reenacted the incident in a funny sense and it related to what “Acts of Kindness” was intended for.”

With the holidays approaching, Student Senate wanted to give back to the community so they started a project that integrates with West called “Acts of Kindness,” which is a competition that is being held on Instagram to see which school can accomplish the best acts of kindness. The initiative is a quality, not quantity endeavor.

“Student Senate started “Acts of Kindness” last year with only senators,” Ben Berger Student Senate Advisor, said. “Something to do on our downtime. We wanted to do something nice, whether it was scraping snow off cars during fifth hour or baking cookies for a random class.”

West had the idea to collaborate with Central and make it a competition. Two senators from West came to Central’s Student Senate and pitched the idea.

“We had already had an idea like it,” Berger said. “Then they came over with this structured idea—the competition—and we said yes.”

Student Senate Governor Olivia Luciani ‘14 has some tricks up her sleeve to give the “Acts of Kindness” project some momentum.

“In the spirit of the Christmas sea-

son, I’m going to bake people cookies,” Luciani said. “I have a lot of nice neighbors but they’re older, so I’ll take them some cinnamon rolls.”

Initially hosting a competition between two schools raised some complications due to communication challenges with West, and lack of planning time.

“I think the senators felt that it was being thrust upon them, and that they would be putting their name on something they didn’t have too much part in,” Berger said.

Emily Decker ‘16 was hooked on the idea because it would motivate students to make a difference.

“We really wanted to make the effort to support kindness and do good in the school and community,” Decker said. “I haven’t decided what I am going to do yet, but I’ll be sure to always look for an opportunity to be kind and helpful.”

The competition will be held Dec. 15-Jan. 5; submissions will be judged by a TCAPS School Board member.

Decker said judging is based more on the quality of acts of kindness, rather

Art Club prepares Adirondacks

Nine Central students have qualified for part two of the Michigan Math Prize Competition (MMPC). The competition entails a series of tests that evaluate students’ mathematical abilities.

“We had maybe thirty kids take it, math teacher John Failor said, “and you have to score a certain score to go on to take the second part. The first test is 40 questions and this year to qualify you only had to get 17 right—not even 50 percent.”

Part two of the exam took place on Dec. 11, and consisted of only five questions.

“Part two is really hard,” Failor said.

“The questions are more proof based— there’s no calculators.”

Central’s National Art Honor Society (NAHS) has recently taken on the task of painting Adirondack chairs in order to raise money for the Art Department.

“We are painting the chairs and then auctioning them off later in the year,” Zach Glezman ‘15 (pictured right) said.

The chairs have been provided by Nick Jeffrey, who has offered to make approximately seven for NAHS to work with.

“We have two chairs and we’ve already primed them, and Mr. Jeffrey’s class is in the process of making more,” Glezman said.

As soon as they are done, the other chairs will be designed, painted, and sold. The process is laborious.

“If there’s one idea that sticks out as being better than the rest, then that’s the idea,” Ellis Begley ‘14 said.

Security Officer Dick Townsend has expressed interest in ordering a chair that emulates a specific style that he prefers.

“As far as I can tell, it should be a fairly smooth process if Mr. Townsend knows what he wants, and we’re able to figure out how we can recreate it into an art form on the chair,” Begley said.

After the second and final part, the top 100 students will be invited to Hope College for a banquet at which the top 50 competitors will be awarded a series of scholarships.

“We’ve only had three to four kids make it that far in the last 12 years. It’s pretty tough to get that high,” Failor said.

Some students use the sense of competition and the scholarship opportunities as an incentive. Others, like Zoe Gerstle ‘15, take on a light-hearted attitude towards the test.

“It’s just something that I was like, ‘Hey, why not? Sounds like a cool opportunity,’” Gerstle said.

Graphic: S. Kearney

Students qualify in math competition

continued, page 7

Photo: M. Caldwell

2 Opinion

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold December 17, 2013

A class divided

Schools around Michigan must set a time for students to say the Pledge of Allegiance, schools Graphic: A. Korson scramble to implement despite difficulties

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he Pledge of Allegiance has been a point of contention since it first traveled to the Supreme Court in 1940.

Since 2006, it has reappeared five times in lower level courts and the Supreme Court. That controversy has now made its way to Michigan, as lawmakers recently passed legislation that requires schools to give students the opportunity to say the pledge every day, though students can choose not to participate.

Lawmakers claim giving students the opportunity to say the Pledge during school will help students learn more about the United States and what it stands for. We at the Black & Gold believe teaching the ideals of our country is important for maintaining our nation’s principles, and it’s always beneficial to have kids learn more about our heritage and traditions; however, we have serious concerns about instituting the recitation of the Pledge in public schools.

We believe there is a strong likelihood that some students will feel compelled to say the Pledge because of peer pressure, and that’s not fair to students who are uncomfortable, but may not feel they can opt out gracefully. If they don’t want to, students shouldn’t feel like they have to. Or, say a student wants to recite the Pledge, but the “cool” kids aren’t. This is equally awkward. Lawmakers were indeed aware of this possibility because they included a bullying clause. Section 3 states a “school building, shall ensure that a pupil is not subject to any penalty or bullying at school as a result of not reciting the pledge of allegiance.”

Why would lawmakers include this antibullying notation if they didn’t anticipate the strong likelihood that it would happen?

At Central, we have learned (and learnedandlearned), that bullying manifests in insidious ways—a snicker, a snide aside; that “we’re in, you’re out” body language.

One of the supposed benefits lawmakers outlined was the notion that students are given the opportunity to exercise their free speech rights in either voluntarily reciting the Pledge, or in choosing not to.

But is the classroom really a free speech zone if students feel compelled to either par-

Graphic: A. Korson

“To say the pledge expresses respect for the people overseas fighting for Photo: M. Caldwell our country. We can take time out of class to honor them. It should be a priority.”

-Travis Campbell ’17

ticipate, or to remain silently seated, so as to affiliate with one group or another?

A pledge is a solemn promise to do or to not do something. The expression of national pride is a beautiful thing to behold, but is the outward expression of “under God,” standing, hand over heart, wise in a secular educational environment, even if it is voluntary?

Invoking God will cause considerable discomfort among kids who are areligious.

In 1954, President Dwight D. Eisenhower requested Congress add the deity to the Pledge’s text to specifically speak to our Judeo-Christian ethic--that is the intent.

While students are free to express their religion here at any time that will not disrupt school, we wonder if this established time-frame of recitation of this established Pledge does not tread frightfully close to our

Founding Fathers’ constitutional concerns about established religion.

Frankly, then as now, our nation, indeed the entire world, has a poor record on the delicate matters of religion.

In instating this law, in adding section 1347a. to Michigan’s School Code, our schools’ social concerns escalate. Further, the law offers no guidelines whatsoever, so schools are left scrambling to figure out implementation.

Our national ethos is a source of great pride. And yes, the Pledge keeps with schools’ mission of learning in the collective choral: “indivisible.” We predict there will be much hullabaloo, much ostentatious show in reciting the Pledge here at Central. Even though the evidence shows there are seventy-three years’ worth of legal challenges, we don’t expect significant problems in rolling it out.

But we do worry about the cost of quiet, more inward invisible conflicts.

the Black & Gold

As the platform of social media evolves, the corporate world is experimenting with the venue, oftentimes not so successfully. The problem with social media is that it’s immediate, a little insensitive, and a great place to commit a cyber snafu.

On the 72nd anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbor, the American food brand SpaghettiOs made a controversial post in an attempt to pay homage to this hallowed day. The tweet: “Take a moment to remember #PearlHarbor with us.” The corporate support wasn’t the problem; the content was. The graphic featured a cartoony little spaghetti man holding an Ameri-

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“We can at least take 30 seconds to honor our veterans and America.

Photo: M. Caldwell It reminds us of where we came from, and how we got to where we are today.”

-Hannah Radosevich ’16

can flag, flashing an annoyingly exuberant smile across his round little spaghetti man face. Rather than incentivising people to purchase more SpaghettiOs, the tweet offended many out in Twittersphere. Pearl Harbor is a an

Editors-in-Chief Ivy Baillie David Reinke

News Editor

David Reinke

Production Editor Ivy Baillie

Opinion Editor

“I think the Pledge of Allegiance is worth the five minutes of the Photo: M. Caldwell students’ time. It depends on the student’s views, but for me personally, it is important.”

-Lawrence Kellogg ’15

Graphic: A. Korson

American tragedy. People died.

Show some respect.

The SpaghettiOs tweet was completely inappropriate, and demeaning to those affected by the events of December 7th, 1941.

Over two thousand people died that day, and the smiling spaghetti man seemed to be mocking America.

SpaghettiOs makes canned food. The relevance of a childhood favorite tied to a national day of remembrance would be?

Another insensitive corporate tweet was made by Kenneth Cole, an American clothing designer. He posted a tweet earlier

A&E Editor

Fiona Muha

Sports Editor Erin Lipp

n

“I came from a military family, so patriotism is always at the front of Photo: M. Caldwell my mind.

Still, I don’t think it’s worth taking time out of class. We shouldn’t take time from learning.”

-Gabrielle Pasco ’14

this year that ridiculed our military. The tweet: “‘Boots on the ground’ or not, let’s not forget about sandals, pumps and loafers. #Footwear.”

‘Boots on the ground’ refers to our military personnel who are actively serving. So Cole is saying in the midst of war, we can’t forget our pretty shoes. Did Cole just mock war to talk about footwear? Those boots keep us safe. Isn’t there a part in everyone’s brain that shouts, ‘Whoa, think again!’ How ignorant. How insensitive.

After the uproar, Cole defended his shoe sale strategy: “For 30 years I have used my platform in provocative ways to encourage a healthy dialogue about important issues, including HIV/AIDS, war, and homelessness.”

We always think of designer fashion in times of illness and war, don’t we?

That these messages are packaged in tweets, further trivializes that which should be serious.

Photo Editors Meg Caldwell Scott Hardin

Graphics Editor

Focus Page Editor

Alex Korson

Leek Editors

Mady Basch Jeff Comerford Fisher Diede Connor Hansen Margo Hoagg Dylan Huey

Allison Taphouse

Emma Caldwell

Scott Hardin Jake Myers

Feature Editor

Business Manager

Lia Williams

Graphic: M. Caldwell

In the spirit of the season, we’ve prepared advice for our fellow generation on how to change their flawed ways. Listen up, we weigh in on manners, what to do about your phone obsession, and the fine art of chillin’ out

Ivy Baillie & David Reinke Editors-in-Chief

1.) Making ourselves fully present in a situation.

As social media evolves to include business communication, companies’ use of popular sites is slowly transforming into a much more inappropriate and off-putting enigma Staff Reporter

The Worst Generation

It’s the time of the year when everyone is making resolutions about weight loss, working out more, eating less. Generally not being a fatty. However, we find the everlasting pursuit of muscle and bone to be a worthless endeavor, and so have decided to turn into our generation, and by extension, ourselves, in a search for improvements this coming year.

There are three primary precepts that we should all work on:

Corporate tweets cause contention Joel Six

Graphic: B. Johnson

Zach Egbert

Staff Reporters

Bri Johnson Shaine Kearney Hunter Kelly George Madison Maddi Miller John Minster Sean Monnier Anders Olson Carl Rasmussen Josie Robbins Hayley Rozema Joel Six Aaron Smits Julia Vannatter

As we were writing this, Ivy picked up her phone and spent a solid five minutes scrolling along Instagram. And David, “all-mighty” in his rejection of text message after text message, actually managed to pull his eyes from Listverse and back on track. Like a moth slowly circling the porch light to it’s imminent death, we seemed oblivious that technology was killing our productivity.

So we have a challenge for all of us: leave your phone at home during the school day, once a week.

To be honest, we haven’t tried to brave that adventure, but we think it’s a good idea for everyone else.

And we’ve all lost our phones at least once in our lives and we know just how comparable those 30 seconds can be to Dante’s seventh layer of Hell.

In the end, it’ll be worth it to break the Pavlovian cycle of grabbing your phone each time your phone chimes.

It was not for the lighthearted, but we feel that even the most addicted can power through. This will make it easier for us all in the holidays, when at a family Christmas party our moms slap our phones out of our hands. Talk to your weird Uncle Jim and annoying little cousins, because even if it isn’t as ‘fun’ as looking at the “Seven worst photos of Kim Kardashian,” it will give you memories that will last you a lifetime. Or something.

2.) Respect.

We have been told by many, that young kids these days don’t even bother to hold the door open for our elders, say please and thank you. In all honesty, this is egregiously sad. The fact that this seems to be a commonly accepted idea speaks to how pathetic our generation’s respect for our surroundings is. Maybe we have been too soft on our peers and ourselves in our past writing, unwilling to face the facts that we can be a ruthless, soulless gang. But really, it isn’t that hard to wait a couple of extra seconds to hold a door open, to maybe even smile at them too.

We don’t know where along the line we all lost our manners...it’s not really any of your business anyway, but we’re pretty sure we’ll need them back soon.

In a time of college applications, “serious relationships,” and work schedules, social skills--particularly politeness--will be excruciatingly emblematic of our successes. No one wants to room with a slob, and no one wants to work with a jackass.

3.) Last but not least, don’t take it all too seriously.

Seriously. Bullying, controversy, relationships, etc.

There’s that old American/English proverb, you give the thing power if you show it your fear. Remember that you are who you are, and if other people don’t like it, the door’s over there.

Sadly, we feel like maybe our generation doesn’t always feel this way. We think there’s a possibility that things can be blown out of proportion, like the world’s going to end in a sudden cosmic explosion if someone says something bad about my outfit today.

Take the heat. You’ll survive, and you may even thrive if you just take it all with a grain of salt.

Send us an email at theblackandgold.opinion@gmail.com or drop off a letter to the editor Some Corrections

-On page 1, the News story “Second Trimester introduces textile design class” didn’t include the page where it contined, which was page 15 -There was error in printing for Erin Lipp’s byline. Her name was not included.

- Connor Hansen, Anders Olson and Alex Korson made the graphic on the health page. Credits were not given

Feature

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold December 17, 2013

3

Young professional pioneers culinary arts Student Aiden Voss ‘16 explores her passion for food, through her job as a chef at The Cooks’ House, and through her experiences in kitchens all around the world including Central America and Ethiopia

Margo Hoagg & Maddi Miller Staff Reporters

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weet and salty, spicy and zesty. The aroma and the adrenaline of a typical Saturday night fills the crowded kitchen of The Cooks’ House. A couple dine at a two top table, as they watch on with interest, looking over the cornucopia of local foods offering a wide array of colors and scents. An interesting pair work side by side; one a tall, beefy man of 6’3”, the other, a young, 5’ 5” sixteen year old girl.

“I have always been hesitant to say I want to cook because I feel like it kind of limits your choices for college and for your future,” Aiden Voss ‘16 said, “but it’s my passion. Cooking is like a creative outlet for me and the more I cook, the more I fall in love with it.”

At just fourteen, Voss began her internship at the Cooks’ House, co-owned by Eric Patterson and Jennifer Blakeslee. A bistro commended by renowned Iron Chef Mario Batali as his favorite local restaurant, The Cooks’ House is a cozy, yet classy, white-table-clothed restaurant with a long reservation list. The food is creatively plated and presented with flair. They feature locally grown ingredients and walls framed with rows of cookbooks above delicate wine glasses. Voss started staging (working for free) at The Cooks’ House, after making connections babysitting for Blakelee.

“I would hang out in the restaurant every Friday for a few weeks prepping, cutting veggies and other simple stuff,” Voss said. “Then I started going almost everyday,and I really realized how much I enjoyed the kitchen atmosphere.”

Voss spent two years working her way up in the kitchen. While her peers were spending summers relaxing on the beach and enjoying festive getaways, she was spending three to eight hour days in the kitchen for free. Yes, for free. She finally got on the payroll just last summer. Now, during the school year, Voss is working Fridays and Saturdays, roughly eighteen hours per week.

“I don’t get bored during work, I always come out of work really happy. Not because I’m out, but because it was a great experience,” Voss said.

“Because I spend so much time working in the kitchen, sometimes I feel like I miss out on things, but in the end, once you find your passion, you don’t feel like you’re missing out on anything because you love what you are doing so much.”

As soon as she started working in the kitchen her bosses noticed her abilities to handle pressure and work hard, as well as her culinary potential.

“Usually when kids that young show some sort of interest, I try to cultivate that,” Patterson said. “If they show the motivation, then I have to help cultivate that and if I don’t, it’s wrong on my part.”

Although Voss is by far the youngest in the kitchen, she has cache with the staff.

Photo: A. Olson

Photo: A. Olson

Photo: A. Olson

“Everyone in the kitchen treats me like an adult,” Voss said. “I never feel like I’m less important or regarded as less, and I love that.”

Despite the fact that Voss feels right at home in the Cooks’ House’s kitchen, her parents weren’t as open to the idea when she first started staging.

“I’m the first child, working in a kitchen with a bunch of older guys for hours on end,” Voss said. “They just weren’t ready to let me go, but

(Top left) Voss sautees brussel sprouts and other vegetables over a stovetop in the crowded Cooks’ House’s kitchen. Though being a chef at a fancy restaurant sounds like all fun, there are many sacrifices Voss has made. “I stopped singing for cooking, I was also in musical before and I really miss it. Yes, I have had to sacrifice a lot, but it’s worth it for sure.”

(Bottom left) Voss peels red onions, preparing them for a dish. Cooking allows her to escape. “After doing something that I am so passionate about, it just makes everything else so much lighter and colorful because there’s something that I am so focused on.” (Top right) Voss pours sauteed brussel sprouts onto pans, while prepping for dinner. Although the kitchen can be very stressful she doesn’t view that as a bad thing. “It brings out my high strung nature, but it also gives me something bigger than just myself to be a part of.”

kitchen, it’s all about speed, precision and the rush of service,” Voss said. “I have a really high self standard and it gets to the point where I will wake up in the middle of the night remembering what I forgot to do or did wrong. Overall though, the pressure is what makes the kitchen exciting.”

Growing up in Traverse City, Voss always felt a connection with the farms and the food they produced. She always felt that the way farmers put everything into their farms was beautiful, and by the time the food reached The Cooks’ House there was so much love in it, that it had to be treasured.

“My philosophy behind food is that it’s a really beautiful thing and is something to be honored,” Voss said. “In the kitchen we always polish the plates before we put the food on it, for the foods’ sake.”

Through Voss’s passion for food, many opportunities have opened.

One being the chance to stage in six different kitchens in Colorado, including the top Italian restaurant in the nation. Blakeslee’s friend from Colorado was in town and saw Voss performing her cheffery. He owns four restaurants in Colorado, and told her if she was ever in town, she would be welcome to stage in his kitchens.

“The reason I was there was to see the differ-

“I think cooking is the greatest profession in the world and it has such a learning curve that the younger they get in, the farther ahead they will be because it is such a cut throat, highly competitive business.”

Cooks’ House co-owner Eric Patterson I’ve made a lot of progress on them since, and they’re much more open to me working in the kitchen now.”

One of the hardest parts of life in the kitchen is the pressure and the fast pace. That was one of the main concerns Voss’s boss had when she first started, but she has proved herself.

“You get a lot of adrenaline working in the

ent kitchen environments and how they run their lines,” Voss said. “The experience taught me about the restaurant culture and the workers, and it showed me even more how much I enjoy the atmosphere of the kitchen.”

Aside from Colorado, Voss and her family spent five months in several Central American countries, and three weeks in Ethiopia. While traveling to Ethiopia, they had a week layover in Amsterdam.

“I think that cooking with people of different cultures is a real way to connect because there are language and cultural barriers, but when you are cooking in a kitchen together, you can put them aside and connect, despite your differences in culture,” Voss said. “I want to go to India and cook because I love curry and the Indian cuisine.”

Voss hopes to go to culinary school following high school, but she isn’t closing the doors to college. She is thinking of starting at the Great Lakes Culinary Institute and working her way up. Ultimately, she wants to travel the world and cook in all different kitchens. For the time being, Voss is content experimenting with her own recipes at home on the weekdays and ending her late weekend nights knowing she accomplished what matters to her most, spending time in the kitchen, consumed in the local atmosphere of her home away from home: The Cooks’ House.

“There aren’t many jobs that you can travel around the world for,” Voss said. “I have a job that I can travel for, and I have also found my passion. Now the world is opening up with opportunities.”

Ready to serve: Students prepare for their military experiences Fiona Muha, Lia Williams & Bri Johnson A&E Editor, Feature Editor & Staff Reporter

Colton Gerber ‘14

Photo: A. Olson

Q. What branch of the military are you enlisting in, and why?

A. “I want to go into naval aviation because it’s a really good way to get ahead collegewise. Being a pilot is one of the most dangerous jobs in the Navy, but it’s exciting all over, and you get to help people. There’s a will to serve and I want to help out our country depict our interests and needs.”

Q. How will your military service benefit you?

A. “At the Naval Academy you’re actually paid. It’s a good jump on your career because of knowledge you have from the military. It also improves your discipline, drive and character. You need to be humble because you need to take it from men who are under your rank.”

Q. Do you think the experience will be worth it?

A. “It’s really strenuous on your personal life. When you’re on tour, you’re gone for eight months to a year, so there is no home for you.

Hopefully it will be fulfilling in my career, knowing that I have some job security, and fulfilling to help with humanitarian causes.”

Katie Rasho ‘15

Chris Anderson ‘14

Q. What branch of the military are you enlisting in, and when do you start?

A. “I will be part of the Army. I’m going to a boot camp over the summer, and I’ll probably make a career out of my Army position.”

Q. What branch of the military are you enlisting in, and when do you start?

A. “I’ll be a tank driver in the Army.

I’ve signed my contract for three years, 17 weeks, and I start two weeks after graduation. I plan on serving the Army for at least 20 years.”

Q. When and why did you decide to go into the military?

A. “I’ve wanted to do something like this since eighth grade, and for a few years I’ve been solid on joining the Army, to do something exciting. I don’t want to have a petty job like working at a fast food restaurant, or a folding clothes in the mall. I have a job right now at the mall and it’s killing me. All I know is that I want to help people physically. I have this chance to help others and make them happy, and to be part of something that I will learn and grow from.”

Photo: A. Olson

Q. What are your concerns going into the military?

A. “I’m scared because I’m small and I’m a girl. I want to feel good and I want to do my best, but guys can do some things girls can’t.

During training, I get bummed when I can’t keep up with the guys.”

Q. What keeps you focused amidst people’s doubts?

A. “I’ve never felt like I belonged as a part of anything I’d tried to be a part of. With this team, I was welcomed and they were happy to see me. It made me feel like I belonged somewhere.”

Q. How will your military service benefit you?

A. “Short-term, it’ll let me have new experiences, travel and meet people, and do some pretty amazing things. Long-term, I can get a pension when I retire, and I can support myself and my family financially.”

Q. Do you think the experience will be worth it?

A. “It’s a sacrifice that has to be made, and by many people.The reward is giving back, and it’s worth it.”

Q. What made you want to join the military?

A. “I’ve been talking about joining the military since I was in elementary school. I was in third grade in the car with my dad, and said to him, ‘Dad, what if when I get older, I want to join the army?’ It’s bigger than yourself, and you do something that no civilian could ever do.”

Q. How are you preparing for combat?

A. “I train every single day. A group of students going into the military meet every Thursday after school to do classroom work, like land navigation, and also work out. In two days, we may do 380 pushups, six miles of stair runs and 400 sit-ups.

Training never gets easier, you just get better.”

Q. How do you prepare emotionally for combat?

A. “When you first start training it’s overwhelming, but the more you expose yourself to it, the more ready you become.”

Hudson Henriet ‘15

Tanner Bianchi ‘14

Q. What branch of the military are you enlisting in? What do you plan on doing after your term?

A. “I signed to a six-year contract with the Air Force. With their upcoming technology, I feel like there’s a really bright future in the Air Force. After that, I hope to get into TACP, Tactical Air Control Party, for twenty years. TACP goes out with army ranger and airborne units responsible for air strikes and controlling air traffic.”

Photo: M. Caldwell

Photo: M. Caldwell

Q. What branch of the military are you enlisting in, and when do you start?

A. “I’m planning on becoming a gunsmith for the Army. I’m doing basic training this summer, job training after senior year, then I’ll serve two years in the Army.”

Photo: M. Caldwell

proud.”

Q. Why did you decide to go into the military?

A. “It helps with my payments for college. Also, I want to rise to the challenge. I’ll be the first in my family to go into the military. My family’s pretty

Q. Are you excited to join the army and become a gunsmith?

A. “I’ve always been a bit of a brute, so I think I’ll fit in with the brute force of the military. I’m also excited to fix everybody’s guns, to do their dirty work. I’m in the United States Practical Shooting Association, so everybody already brings their guns to me to be fixed or cleaned. I just enjoy it.”

4 Winter Break

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold December 17, 2013

Santa, fact or fiction?

We all believed in Santa growing up. Now students share their views on finding out there really is no big man in a red suit

“I still put out milk and cookies because my mother makes me. But, I stopped believing in Santa a few years ago.”

-Logan Simerson ‘15

Julia Vannatter Staff Reporter Photo: M. Caldwell

“I found out that he wasn’t real when I walked in on my parents as they were carrying out the presents. My Christmas spirit wasn’t lost, though.”

-Alexis Milbert ‘16 Photo: A. Olson

“In fourth grade in music class, me and some friends were talking about Santa and the teacher said ‘Santa isn’t real, it’s just a story’.” -Isabella Scalise ‘17 Photo: M. Caldwell

“I was in the car and my older brother turns around and says, ‘You know Santa isn’t real, right?’ I said, ‘He is!’ and my mom said, ‘Yeah, he really isn’t.

I’m Santa!” -Jordan Fisher ‘17

Photo: A. Olson

Some families go to extraordinary lengths and heights to keep Santa climbing across the icy roof on a blizzardy Christmas Eve night.

Shane Bagwell’s ‘17 parents sprinkled sparkling deer feed and stamped hoof marks into the snow, leaving cold, hard evidence of Santa’s arrival. Inside the house parents made sure every last cookie and carrot left for Santa and the reindeer had been munched, and that presents were strewn under the twinkling tree, marked with the “signature” of Santa’s pen.

The Bagwells, like most parents, played out these most treasured traditions to keep Santa alive for their children. But somewhere right around the juvie time, children begin to get suspicious. Perhaps it’s the same wrapping paper that’s been sitting in the closet, or maybe they stumble upon a bunch of stuff stashed under a bed, or a big “tell,” mom’s handwriting.

“One year I set out a camera and they had my neighbor dress up as Santa and drop off presents in front of the chimney,” Bagwell said. “Every year my parents did little stunts to make me believe that Santa had been there and was, in fact, real.”

Staying up late to wait for Santa and mailing him Christmas letters was fun, but we all eventually come to the myth of the magic about the big guy dressed in a red suit who flies

through the sky with his reindeer.

“I was kind of sad because I believed in him,” Owen Porter ‘17 said.

“Then found out I was being lied to, and then I realized I was like every other kid in America, so I didn’t feel as left out.”

The thought of Santa being fiction scared Sophia Saco ‘16 when she was in fifth grade. “I had believed in Santa my whole life and my friends started to tell me, ‘He’s not real, didn’t they tell you?’ and I would say ‘No, he’s real!’ and doubt them,” Saco said.

“After this I went to my mom and I said, ‘Mom, I need to know. Is he real or not real?’ and she told me that he was real.” But Saco persisted, so her mother confirmed her doubts. Saco felt as though Christmas would never be the same without Santa but in fact, her Christmas spirit wasn’t gone.

“I still believe because of the historical figure- Saint Nick,” Saco said.

“I do think he was once real, but I now know that a big old man doesn’t come down my chimney on Christmas Eve.” But the traditions for believing in Santa never come to an end.

“It’s cool to believe in something,” Katie Rasho ‘15 said. “When I first met Santa I was five, we became best friends right after. Of course, our friendship becomes stronger. He’ll come visit me or sometimes he even calls me.”

For students who had puzzled out the myth, giving became more important than receiving.

“I didn’t really stop having Christmas spirit though, and I still believe in the giving time,” Logan Simerson ‘15 said.

Bagwell always treasured the spirit of Santa and the giving of the season.

“I had always thought about Santa,” Bagwell said, “but my parents always made sure my main focus was on God and family and giving. Every year after I found out, I would write Santa a letter asking him to please bring presents to people who don’t receive the type of gifts that I might get. The story of Santa really gave me a giving spirit.”

What to w

Allison Taphouse As the holidays ar Focus Page Editor

Christmas For guys

Bells ring on Christmas Eve, summoning families and friends from near and far to church services, intimate gatherings and late night parties. One must don one’s gay apparel and deck oneself out in holiday attire. For the Christmas season, it is especially important to look your best out in the winter wonderland.

For guys, despite what women tell you, they do so love you much more when you look fly.

You are fun to show off. The occasional ugly Christmas sweater gathering aside, this is not a casual holiday—dig through your closet, find those eye-catching items that are worn but once a year. Look festive for your fete. You make a fantastic impression on that lady you’ve been wanting to ask out.

No need to suit up, boys, but step it up.

Start with a base of business casual, like a collared shirt, and build your look from there.

A nice, white, well-fitted dress shirt is a great base item. We love those razor-sharp pressed sleeves, casually rolled up to show off a chunky Fossil watch. Have you seen the cover of Esquire lately, checked out some snaps of Jay-Z? As for trousers, a pair of khaki chinos or even some warm woolies will spruce up any ensemble. The prep school-boy look drives the ladies crazy. Avoid wearing jeans to ensure that the formality of the occasion. A textured, chunky, patterned sweater will add some visual flair. Snowflakes define Christmas, don’t be afraid to sport them and blend in with your surroundings, as you truly embrace the holiday spirit.

Have no fear. Pull out your loudest outrageous sweater here, as the season demands this stylistic choice. Santa ties are also a speciality.

If you have a sense of humor--and do we love that--throw in some playful polka-dot socks with some buffed loafers. Dark brown leather shoes or boots on the dressy side of the spectrum will pull it all together in a formal, but fun way.

Graphic: A. Korson

Five holiday traditions, explored Hunter Kelly

Baking

Staff Reporter

direction- toward little to ourselves.

Graphic: S. Hardin

“Hope for

From baking a unique cake, to grandma’s house to cut down Christmas trees, Christmas morning delicacies, a mystical pickle that holds magic, to a giant cherry dropping at midnight: these students have holiday traditions that will repeat through all the years

Braving the harsh winter conditions, Brittany Hanbury ‘15 goes to the local supermarket to gather supplies to make her much-loved sparkling apple cider pound cake.

“Baking around the holidays is a family tradition,” Hanbury said. “My Grandma Jackie passed the recipe down to me last year.”

Unlike most holiday time bakers, Hanbury bakes all of her treats from scratch.

Nothing pre-packaged or artificial.

Graphic: C. Hansen “Baking from scratch tastes better than baking from a box, hands down,” Hanbury said. “Being vegetarian, I always like to know what’s going into my food.”

As a child, Hanbury asked for an Easy Bake Oven one year for Christmas. Instead, she got a full sized rolling pin and apron.

“I was pleasantly surprised when I got these gifts,” she said. “I have been baking in the kitchen ever since.”

Christmas morning

As the smell of homemade cinnamon rolls wafts throughout the house, Samantha Lukitsch ‘15 gets out of bed, preparing to eat the delectable treat her mom has baked, and to unwrap a surprise that lies under the tree beneath a thin layer of wrapping paper. As she nears her kitchen, the aroma intensifies, causing her stomach to growl in anticipation.

“After mom bakes the cinnamon rolls, I am usually the one who puts the frosting on top,” Lukitsch said.

Lukitsch gets to enjoy the warm, fresh rolls while she is opening her Christmas presents, thus savoring her gift unwrapping experience.

“The cinnamon rolls have been a family tradition of ours since I have been four or five-years-old,” Lukitsch said.

Graphic: C. Hansen

Travel Graphic: C. Hansen

Over the river and through the woods to grandma’s house Sydney Sturdevant ‘15 goes to find the perfect Christmas tree that will fit her family’s unique standards. Sturdevant’s quest can take anywhere from ten minutes, to an hour.

“My grandma likes to find a tree that has a bird’s nest in it,” Sturdevant said.

“It is supposed to bring you and your loved ones good luck.”

Anywhere from ten to twenty people attend the Sturdevant family’s holiday lumber jack adventure.

“My grandma lives on a farm with a lot of trees,” Sturdevant said. “On our way back, we have to designate people to swat away the goats or cows, whichever ones are trying to eat the trees that we are hauling past them.”

Pickle wish

The last three years have marked the beginning of a downtown New Year’s tradition: the “CherryT Ball Drop.” As crowds gather, live music blasts and lights illuminate the streets of downtown. All await the tick-tock of midnight to sound the start of the new year. Steph Paniagua ‘14 has enjoyed her New Year’s celebrations at the drop for two years; this will be her third.

“When the ball finally Graphic: C. Hansen drops, it is really exciting because the crowd is so huge and everyone is cheering loudly,” Paniagua said. Despite the large crowds, at previous drops Paniagua has bumped into loads of revelers: friends, and acquaintances alike, which makes the experience more intimate.

Event planners expect this year’s festivities to attract the largest crowds yet. The event is free, the weather divine, and atmosphere is a guaranteed fun-filled night under the stars and lights.

CherryT ball drop

Before unwrapping gifts, before the ham gets sliced, Fletcher Reyher ‘16 and his family take part in one of their most unique holiday traditions: the hunt for a pickle.

“My mother hides a ‘magic pickle’ in the Christmas tree,” Reyher said.

“Whoever finds it first, holds it up and makes a wish.”

“Find the pickle,” the title for the game that is more widely known, often has different rewards for the winner. Although other families give presents, or fortunes, Reyher’s sticks with a wish, for the winner. The wish made with the pickle is intended for the New Year, but it’s an extra Graphic: C. Hansen special wish, as the pickle adds luck.

“If I get the pickle this year, I’m not too sure what I would wish for,” Reyher said. “But, it would be a good one.”

Cough drops, toothpaste, toothbrush that Student Senate is asking for duri been on-going this month at Central needy Haitians and will be accepted u and many items will be sent this week be traveling to Haiti to hand deliver m the posters and note what each grade advisory, or in Senate Adviser Ben B

Worst gifts

Central students rev presents they have r

“Socks. My grandma b me socks a they didn’t fit. One tim Photo: M. Caldwell Mom boug a game for my PlaySta but it was an Xbox gam I exchanged that, but socks are still sitting in m closet.” -Luke Lozowski

Central’s Wish List: “I want a very fluffy nice cat. One that would cuddle me.” -Jennie Baker ‘14 “I really want black Hunter rain settle for the Canon Rebel T3i.” -Stephanie Loveland ‘15 “This year I’m asking for a new iPhone, because the one I currently hav out a lot, and always want different equipment.” -Autumn McCuien ‘16 “I want snow tires because my car slides all over the roa orange skull on it.” -Conner Brantley ‘16 “I want a snow day because it’s cold and I am tired of being trapped inside classes.”-J

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold December 17, 2013

Winter Break

5

wear: Holiday edition Our resolutions

re fast approaching we run past our closets looking in the opposite ds the store for presents. Through all the giving, we forget to give a The Black & Gold shows you how to dress this holiday season

New Years

For ladies

Graphic: A. Olson

r Haiti”

Photo: S. Hardin

Brooke Corsica and Rebecca Barber both ‘17 pack boxes of goods filled with an assortment of items. The Hope for Haiti drive is geared towards helping the people of Haiti who are in need. These goods that the two are packing will soon be shipped off to the Locoste camp, where they will be opened with as much care as they are being packed.

hes, deodorant and cash are some items ing the “Hope for Haiti” drive that has and West. Donations go directly to until Dec. 20. Senate is busily packing k. This spring a couple of students will more gifts. Looking to donate? Eyeball e should give. Drop off donations in Berger’s room, C-253.

The atmosphere of New Year’s rings in the chance for girls to do one of their favorite things: dress up. Oh, the shopping drama. But it’s worth it. Seriously, when else can you wear a red velvet dress? Ok, maybe Valentines.

When else can you wear items and outfits so sparkly that you look like a walking disco ball?

Black, gold, and silver are the top choices, as they transition from day to night. During the holiday season, you can wear silver lame’ leather pants at 2:00 in the afternoon.

Showing the more feminine side, party dresses and skirts paired with metallic tinsel tights are popular picks. Sometimes, a girl’s just gotta wear a scandalous outfit. Stay away from that pole-dancer look. It’s a turn off. Just ask any male. They may look, but they don’t want their date looking like that. Stay mindful of how much skin you reveal.

Since this holiday is all about sparkle and pizazz—sequin dresses are, yes, finally, an acceptable form of dress for this one occasion.

However, this lycra layer won’t stand a chance against the gusting winds. Be sure to layer.

Long underwear has long been overrated, but if paired properly is completely appropriate.

Now, this is where a killer pair of boots or heeled pumps come in handy.

Tis’ the season to be gaudy. Accessories are your flair. Dollar store new year’s wear does the trick. Try the assortments of “2014” garb: headbands, party hats, necklaces and earrings big as chandeliers.

Footwear? Can a girl ever have enough?

Match the heel height with your venue. Stilettos look great if you are going to be sitting all night. But they will not be your feet’s best friend out on the dance floor or on snowcovered sidewalks. You want to look good, not end up in a cast. Instead, opt for a high heeled boot if you feel the need to tower over everyone. The ever-coveted Uggs now come in red sequins so you stay warm, don’t slip, and don your Ruby Slippers.

Winter wonderland

The weather outside is frightful, but all of the fun activities are so delightful. During the winter months, Mother Nature ensures there is plenty to do outside before you go cozy up inside, click on your favorite Christmas movie and relax with your hot cocoa in your favorite mug--the one with Santa on it. Winter faves include scream worthy sledding, snowball slams, Photo: S. Hardin shreddin’ up the slopes, and snow angels so sweet as to Dashing through the woods of Milliken Drive, Nick make a Renaissance artist cry. Barger ‘15 prepares to strike his next victim, Dirk At the forty-fifth parallel, a Phelps ‘15, with a freshly packed snowball. Phelps uses the protection of his puffy hood to block the snowstorm is an invitation for some slip-slidin’ competi- incoming blow as he prepares to refute. tion, the hurling of hard packed balls, the building of a snowman to scare your little sister, or a slide down a hill that barely misses a glade of trees. Unlike most other winter sports, ammo for snowball fights is free, doesn’t require gas money or a lift ticket. How convenient is a walk out your front door? The trick is luring over a sorry soul to claim as your next victim.

s ever unwrapped

veal the truth about the substandard received over past holidays

y bought and t even me my ght me ation, me. the my i ‘17

“When I was Graphic: C. Hansen eleven I got a hot pink Hello Kitty suitcase for Christ“I got pink fluffy pajamas mas. Hello Kitty is with monkeys on them from for little kids, and Photo: M. Caldwell my Aunt one year. I didn’t I really hate the color pink, like them because they so I wasn’t too thrilled when were for a little kid, I guess.

I opened the wrapping and Photo: S. Hardin I tried them on for her to be discovered the suitcase.” polite, but I eventually got rid of them.”

-Megan Eshleman ‘15 -Brittney Collins ‘17

Students share their unique resolutions for the upcoming new year

“My New Year’s resolution is to be a good samaritan. If I see someone in need, I’ll try to help them.”

-Rhys Adle ‘15 “Next year I want to get better at tennis. I’ll practice more and work hard on my serve.”

-Andy Colombo ‘17 “My New Year’s resolution is to complete more homework and be more mature.”

-Corey Henton ‘16 “I’d like to volunteer more this year.

Especially at the Humane Society, because I like to play with all the cats.”

-Emma Ross ‘16 “My resolution is to speak better around my peers.”

-Cam Fisher ‘14 “One of my New Year’s resolutions is to stop waiting to put things that I want to accomplish, off, like doing a 365 day picture project.”

-Emma Simon ‘16 “My resolution is to get a new job because the one I’ve got right now sucks.”

- Melly Phillips ‘14 “I would like to do better in school, and stop procrastinating.”

- Riley Waskiewicz ‘15 “My resolution is to help around my mom’s house more. She’s a really hard worker and and her difficult job takes a toll. I want to do more for her.”

-Tori Huggins ’16 “I want to try to be a better person.

Just be nicer to people and acknowledge them. You’re happier when you’re a better person, and I feel like this is an goal that I can reach.”

-Chloe Jeffs ‘14 “I want to dedicate more time to homework so I can do well on AP tests.”

-Riley McKeown ‘15 “Mine is to not eat as much milk chocolate because it’s not good for you.”

-Chase Knoblock ‘17 “I’d like to get better grades in biology.”

-Katie Geiger ‘17 “My resolution is to enjoy the rest of senior year with my friends and the opportunities that come along with it.” -Madison Paulic ‘14 Graphics: A. Taphouse

n boots for Christmas, because they go with everything.” -Julia Berry ‘14 “I am really hoping for a Jeep Wrangler, but I guess I’ll ve broke when I dropped it on the cement.”-Katrina Salon ‘17 “I really want workout equipment for Christmas. I enjoy working ad and it’s really irritating and dangerous” -Anthony Miller ‘14 “I want a ‘Grateful Dead’ backpack. It has green hemp and an Jack McKay ‘15 “I’d really like a truck, but that’s not gonna happen, so I just need money to buy one myself.” - AJ Riling ‘15

6 Magazine

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold December 17, 2013

Winter Sports

Photo: J. Myers

Photo: S. Hardin

1.

2.

Photo: M. Caldwell

Photo: A. Olson

4.

Photo: M. Caldwell

Photo: Courtesy of the Sepanik family

Photo: A. Olson

3.

5.

6.

8.

Photo: M. Caldwell

7.

1.) Clay Darling ‘15 leads his teammates in the recovery section of skate ski hill intervals on the Vasa trail, during cross country skiing practice. 2.) On the mat, James Westenbarger ‘16 begins to perform a granby on Nathan Lane ‘17 during wrestling practice. 3.) Bianca Richards ‘14, 23, reaches for a rebound, while an opposing Midland player jockeys for the ball with her and Eliza McCall ‘15, 30. 4.) On the offensive against Alpena, Jeffrey Knoblock ‘14 passes the ball to a fellow teammate, leading to a basket for the Trojans. 5.) Just behind the foul line, Ally Wuerfel ‘15 slides across the approach, as she prepares to throw the ball down the lane at practice.

6.) Using a two-handed throw, Brad Wozniak ‘14 practices his own form of bowling, one that helped him get third place in States last season. 7.) After scoring the Trojans’ second goal of their 5-2 win against the Petoskey Northmen, Parker Hebden ‘16 celebrates with Cam Givens ‘14 and Alex Oliver ‘15.

8.) Tyler Sepanik ‘15 blasts around the slalom course gates while practicing at Schuss Mountain.

Page Layout: Ivy Baillie, Mady Basch and Maddi Miller

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold December 17, 2013

Pledge assimilation Continued from front page type of issue, and with everything, you’re always going to please someone and offend someone else.”

Legislators also understood the potential pitfalls of bullying due to item three of the law, which contains a provision mandating school officials to “...ensure that a pupil is not subject to any penalty or bullying at school as a result of not reciting the pledge of allegiance.”

Former U.S. Navy service member and Central math teacher, Hal Lalonde isn’t too concerned implementing the Pledge.

“If you trust me to prevent bullying for everything else, this is no different. It doesn’t have educational value, but it may lead to some interesting discussions. There are separations in our life all the time, but Americans have a pretty good system of shut up and get along,” Lalonde said.

“Acts of Kindness” Continued from front page than volume.

“It’s about who can do the nicest things, not just who can hold a door open for someone.”

Senate is presently making a commercial in hopes that all students will engage in random acts of kindness and compete out on Instagram

On the national scale, history has thrown up a few red flags; there have been numerous legal challenges to the recitation of the Pledge in public schools, five since 2006. But according to Bare our region has been fairly sensitive on the matter.

“Most of the schools in Northern Michigan really try to accommodate all students and not put any student in uncomfortable situations,” Bare said. “I don’t want to over do that, but I can say we have not had any big problems in a long time up here.”

As the Pledge was instituted at both elementary and middle schools this year, the students were very compliant and it only produced some minor issues.

“Generally, our kids in TCAPS tend to be very gracious with each other,” Cousins said. “There are instances with bullying, but when it comes to real serious stuff, you guys all seem to treat each other real pretty respectfully and on something likes this [the pledge], I would anticipate it to be very similar.” against West.

“It’s just a way for the community to see the things high schoolers do that can make a difference,” Decker said. “We’re not just these self absorbed social media teenagers. We’re trying to do kind things and show that to people.”

Ads

7

8 The Leek

Traverse City Central High School Black & Gold December 17, 2013 real stories, real people

How the Pope stole Christmas

During the height of festive fever, Pope Francis seems to have forgotten what the meaning of Christmas is all about

I

n what many holiday experts Leek Editor have called a “declaration of war,” “yuletide heresy” and “jolly genocide,” recently enpoped Pope Francis released his apostolic exhortation “Evangelii Gaudium” last month. Encompassed in the papal proclamation, Pope Francis denounced the much heralded doctrine, sacred to conservatives: the theory of trickle down economics. In a nutshell, trickle down economics condones the idolatry of money, and encourages the growing fiscal divide between rich and poor.

Last week, the Pope proclaimed from his most holy balcony in St. Peter’s Basilica: “The thirst for power and possessions knows no limits. In this system, which tends to devour everything which stands in the way of increased profits, whatever is fragile, like the environment, is defenseless before the interests of a deified market, which become the only rule.”

The Pope’s proclamation has received a sour reception from Fortune 500 companies, and many ensured to speak out between prime-time Black Friday ads.

“In a position of much influence, the Pope should really be much more careful with his words,” Rob Walton, chairman of Wal-mart said. “When he speaks, people listen. The Pope has taken to arms against consumerism.

That is the heart of Christmas! Everyone knows that. Read the Bible! Also, remember you can get your new iPhone 5 at your nearest Wal-mart, starting at $299.99!”

The Pope’s exhortation not only contradicted the reason for the season, but also Black Friday, which has been unanimously agreed upon by religious experts as the second most important Christian holiday. Of course, not to be confused with that other sacred Friday.

“Black Friday is remembered as the day when Jesus said: ‘Ask, and it shall be given to unto you. . . at a greatly reduced rate, at your nearest corporate shopping center’,” Walton said. “I love this holiday so much, I think Wal-mart will begin celebrating Black Friday next near on July 5th. Our employees will be so happy!”

Also opposing the Pope’s unorthodoxy against consumerism are Rush Limbaugh and Sarah Palin, who are ready to lead the Fourth Crusade for Corporate Christmas in Christ’s corner.

“I just love the commercialization of Christmas,” Palin said. “It spreads the

Jake Myers

Graphic: J. Myers

Graphic: J. Myers

Christmas cheer. Ya know, it’s also good for our economy. You betcha. It’s the most jolly holiday, obviously, on our family calendar.”

Palin has blasted the Pope as, “well, sounding kinda liberal” and Limbaugh has defended Christmas by describing Francis as a “pure Marxist.”

“Pope Francis is attacking what it means to be American,” Limbaugh said. “We worship our stuff. Everyone knows Americans buy the best stuff. He’s attacking the discounted prices that make this holiday, and this country, the best on earth. And can we even prove he was born in Argentina? Where’s his birth certificate? My friends, the Pope is trampling on Christmas.”

Through their large media presence, Limbaugh and Palin urge Americans to remember “that God so loved the world that he gave us the best deals on select items (limited time only, limit 10 per household)!”

Adding to the Pope’s grievances, it has been revealed that Francis has been sneaking out

Above: Sarah Palin spreads the Christmas cheer at a Caroling and Clay Pigeons rally in the K-Mart’s parking lot south corner in Savannah, Georgia. “Tis the season, ya know,” Palin said. “Nothing quite gets me in the mood quite like unregistered firearms.”

Left: Sneaking around in the back alleys of Rome in a most unpopish manner, Pope Francis seeks out the homeless for unspecified, but surely scandalous shenanigans.

“Look, I am just trying to give out bread and blankets,” Francis said. “What is wrong with you people?”

of the papal residencies to hand out food and blankets to the homeless in the streets of Rome.

“What is with the Pope sneaking around the streets in the middle of the night hanging out with the poor?” Palin said. “What would Jesus do?”

Palin and Limbaugh have joined forces to form the Coalition of Christmas Warriors, whose mission is to “shop till you drop.”

“Everyone knows God and uncontrolled purchasing go hand-in-hand,” Palin said. “We will not allow any government or Pope to tell us what we can’t buy on Christmas.”

To spread their message, the Coalition of Christmas Warriors are organizing “Caroling and Clay Pigeons” jamborees in mall parking lots throughout the Bible Belt and Alaska.

“O come all ye faithful,” Christmas Warrior Arnold Broomshaft told The Leek’s Mobile, Alabama bureau chief, as he simultaneously unloaded several rounds of buckshot from his Winchester. “Joyful and triumphant!”

President Obama denied healthcare when Obama -Care website crashes

U.S. Customs and Border Protection seized over 260 lbs. of marijuana outside San Diego, California after it “fell from the sky.” Two undocumented immigrant men were arrested when they showed up to claim their prize. What do you think?

“I found me pot, now where’s me gold!?”

Sage Wisdom

Graphic: J. Myers and S. Hardin

“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

Sagittarius Randy Shaumaleski Mall Santa “Man, they must have flown so high to get past border control.”

J.D. Portz Fair-trade farmer

Scott Hardin

Leek & Photo Editor

Drones are imminent

“I’m moving to San Diego!”

Wanda Phoenix Drifter

Photos: Courtesy of Reuters

After the unveiling of Amazon and Domino’s new delivery drones, Central administration has taken inspiration and begun a new push into the world of aerial reconnaissance technology.

“The future is now,” Head Principal Rick Vandermolen said. “That is why I am proud to announce the twothousand fourteen line of Vanderbot Securo-Drones, where no student is left unseen, no staffer is late for work.”

Bankrolled by the successful 2013 millage proposal, Vandermolen’s new drones will help tighten campus security with its eye in the sky patrol of Central’s parking lots and Northwestern Michigan College’s woods for parking pass violators and freshman and sophomore illegal lunch emigrants.

To ensure a sense of comfort among students, the new Securo-Drones will feature the likeness of Central’s current security enforcers, Richard Townsend and Coach James Brumfield, in the new Towncopter and Brumbot-4000 models.

“The data shows that students are consistently more comfortable with flying robots that have familiar faces on them, than with flying robots that do not,” Vandermolen said.

Rather than outsource the development, Vanderbot Securo-Drones Inc. has offered the security defense contract to Central’s F.I.R.S.T. Robotics team and the R.O.V. team, who will build competing drones that will engage in single combat in competition for the development offer.

“It’s one of those ‘real life learning experiences’,” Vandermolen said. “Students are creating SMART military technology so they will be competitive in today’s job market.”

Critics of the new drone program have expressed concerns to Leek reporters, citing Central’s absolute failure to implement 2012’s “Robo-Cop” program. Reports will continue as this story develops.

Carl Rasmussen Staff Reporter

Restaurants liberated

Graphic: F. Diede

P.E. teacher Man DcGee’s pro tip: Park front row and claim yo’ turf

Global Perspectives

Patty O’Furniture Cobbler

News in Brief

Graphic: S. Hardin

Headlines from around the world

Graphic: J. Myers

Disclaimer: Don’t believe the rumours, The Leek is non-fiction

We take this moment to step away from the lightspeed pace of the news cycle. We take a deep breath and close our eyes. We gaze into our crystal ball and feel the mystical force of the universe surround us and fill us to the brim with divine advice.

Now SAGITTARIUS! The planets are perfectly aligned and now is your moment for greatness. You may feel powerful now, but every day your body ages and decays and soon in the cosmic hourglass you will be reduced to ash and dirt.

Somewhere in Kathmandu, Scott & Jake

Oil painting: C. Rasmussen

Debates are heating up in the Michigan State House over a pro-smoking bill that would allow restaurant owners to decide whether they would allow smoking or other activities in the confines of their building. The proposed legislation is based in 4581, sector F, column B54, quarter 5, subsection A, hunk 3 of the “My way or the highway,” law. Under the new legislation, Jimmy Johns (JJ’s) has been confirmed to be enforcing their once sarcastically discriminatory signs: “No hippies allowed,” “We would love to see you in a Speedo,” and contrary to their slogan “free smells,” JJ’s has started charging its customers for their scent. To reduce costs, local restaurants have been cutting out vendors and streamlining their distribution channels by housing, butchering, and cleaning livestock in-house.

“Efficiency is the fifth commandment of the restaurant creed,” Koug Dosh, local restaurateur and member of DSFS: ‘Doing Stuff To Your Food In Secret’, said.

Sympathizers and socialists alike have begun allowing the homeless to bathe in their restrooms, free of charge, free of judgment. With bill support rising, new food chains are sprouting up throughout the state, such as the Kalkaska’s Revolutionary Guard Diner.

“We’ve hired Paula Dean as a consultant,” Dale Harvey Jr said. “This will be big with the hunting crowd.

We will cook roadkill too.”

Central’s cafeteria recently started a campaign to cut down on obesity by serving only leeks, all day, everyday.

“Eat it! Eat it you sick twisted porkpie,” Atheletic Director Cody Inglis said, when questioned whether the students were adapting to the new menu.

While many are satisfied with the changes, some believe that this legislation is only the first step in a long road to legalization of customers having their way with food.

“So I’m allowed to smoke inside now, like anything I want, right?” Steve Sketchmond, a local apothecary said.