The Thing is Me, Lyrics, Music, Tavarus Blackmonster, 2019 Improvisation and Accompaniment, Derek Kwan, 2019

from Beats and Feels: Six Non-Traditional Music Scores for Non-Traditional Western Electron Music (WEM)

Capitalist Americans, Lyrics/Arrangement for Voice, Tavarus Blackmon, 2012-2019

I don’t know what the thing’s supposed to be, I don’t know what the thing’s supposed to be now, Mama, I don’t know what the thing’s supposed to be, But I see, that the thing, the thing is me;

I’ve been walking on these dirty streets, I’ve been stepping over dirty feet now, Mama, I’ve been stepping over dirty feet, But I see, that the feet, the feet belong to me;

I’ve been making love to something sweet, I’ve been making love to something sweet now, Mama, I’ve been making love to something sweet, But I see, that the thing, the thing is me;

I’ve been talking shit and acting mean, I’ve been talking shit and acting mean now, Mama, I’ve been talking shit and acting mean, But I see, I’ve been mean, yeah I’ve been mean to me;

And I don’t know that the world’s gone crazy, But you know that I’ve been making babies, And I can’t change the world gone crazy, But I made something for the world to love…

People getting killed up on TV

People getting killed up on TV now Mama, I’ve been turning off my damn TV, Cause I see, they’ve been trying, they been trying to kill me;

©Tavarus Blackmon, 2019

Pop’s Curse, Lyrics, Arrangement, Variations, Tavarus Blackmonster, 1998-2019

Percussion and Improvisation, Derek Kwan, 2019

OK class, let me tell you a story about a boy who, when he was young, learned so much from his Mama that when he grew up he thought he had a phallic vagina.

Let me bust the first verse, delineating Pop’s Curse, Explaining the game and why that it hurts, God’s gift to this earth and for all that it’s worth, I was cursed, born in pants in a land full of short skirts, Felt ashamed of my claim to fame, hittin’ whores in lace drawers, Trapped in concrete, fiending sea shores, They planted me, picked a bud up off the family tree, Trapped at three, why did Pop’s abandon me, What’s next, Rolodex for sex at six, Kickin’ it with chicks who suck dick’s for kicks, And it get’s worse, let me explain Pop’s Curse, It’s like having a dry mouth and not a quenched thirst, Ask my school nurse to describe Pop’s Curse, She let me grind from behind at nine cause I was fine, My adolescence was very depressing, I was stressing, Suicidal thoughts were compressed in, My soul; control was something that I couldn’t hold, It might have been written but the story it was never told, Without a plan, he made me the man that I am, Don’t understand, never knowing if he gave a damn, Now here I am in this land full of bastards, I have’ta, Hide my tears and fears with laughter, But after disaster, read my tombstone, He lived with Pop’s Curse, But he died without a happy home;

Pop’s Curse consists of, no love, We only got hugged when our Daddies were drugged, So we became thugs; standing on the corner, talking shit, Grabbing our dick’s, became addicts, now we long to live legit…

©Tavarus Blackmon, 2019

I just want to fly away, spread my wings and sing, Erase the existence of a young “G,” is what I mean, It seems the game is clean, but I was born living dirty, Trapped with Niggas and Bitches who never could be worthy, Yes, of the knowledge I posses, so invest, In a Brotha’ conceived from the worst, but born the best, I cried at night, I wasn’t happy without Pappy, He left us, you’d think he’d act gladly because he had me, Indeed, Pop’s seed was left in a world of greed, His absence explains the reason that I perceive, My life, in a half-glass, so I act crass, Pissed ‘bout my past, because my Pop’s didn’t last, He smashed my wishes, now I’m swimming like fishes, In a sea full of nothing but sharks, and Player Hating Bitches, I hit no switches, you never see me rolling “D’s,” Can’t you see, living happily was not my destiny, Tank on “E,” cause I’m broke, every-time I smoke I choke, When I think about it, me and my Pop’s haven’t ever spoke, But my folks hold it down in the town, Cause his biological trace just can’t be found, Sad frown on my face, with a smile displaced, Always blink when I think, was my life a waste, It’s Pop’s Curse, I came clean up on the second verse, I live on earth but I fiend for a fucking Hearse…

©Tavarus Blackmon, 2019

Mr. Simmons, Lyrics/Arrangement for Voice, Tavarus Blackmonster, 2006-2019

Percussion and Improvisation, Derek

Kwan, 2019

Now let me tell you about a guy named Mr. Simmons. He was a real nice guy and, he liked to get high…

I said he’s falling like a rock from the sky, There aint no reason, don’t you even ask why, He does what he does, he don’t care no more, He says the normal life is just a Motherfucking bore, With a needle in hand he’ll become a man, How long ago did he realize that no one would understand, He does what he want, he does what he know, He does a little bump, he does a little blow,

Oh, come on man, let me know, Come on man let me know, Come on man let me know, Are you ever gonna glow?

He’s on his hands and knees like a snake in the grass, He’s never happy cause the high won’t last, If he could only stay up for one night, And make it through then things would be all right, He grabs the spoon and now he’s gonna dance, He knows if he looses, it might be his only chance, His visions narrow, I think he’s lost his sight, The battle’s over, but he’s still willing to fight…

Oh, come on man, let me know, Come on man let me know, Come on man let me know, Are you ever gonna glow?

©Tavarus Blackmon, 2019 9

Didn’t listen to his Mama, didn’t listen to his Dad, He just want to get high, it’s the only fun he ever had, Yeah he does what he wanna, Yeah he does what he choose, He don’t care if he win, he don’t care if he lose…

Oh, come on man, let me know, Come on man let me know, Come on man let me know, Are you ever gonna glow?

All Music recorded in Building 961, Headlands Center for the Arts, Sausalito, CA by Tavarus Blackmonster and Derek Kwan, June 2, 2019

©Tavarus Blackmon, 2019 10

The Blue Room, Site Specific Installation (Building 961, Headlands Center for the Arts, Sausalito, CA), dimensions variable, 2019

Beats and Feels/The Blue Room, Live Performance/Site Specific Installation (Building 961, Headlands Center for the Arts, Sausalito, CA), dimensions variable, 2019

Beats and Feels/The Blue Room, Live Performance/Site Specific Installation (Building 961, Headlands Center for the Arts, Sausalito, CA), dimensions variable, 2019