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THE SOAPBOX Issue 1, March 2022
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Contents DEVOTIONAL PROSE SECTION.......................................................................................................................................... 3
No P.E.T.T.Y. issue… Guard your psychological heart .......................................................... 3 “The issues of life” ........................................................................................................... 4 Guarding the heart is no P.E.T.T.Y issue: ............................................................................. 5 Screen the company you keep: ........................................................................................... 5 Practical strategies for both favorable and unfavorable scenarios: ............................... 10 When it comes to the harmful souls… ........................................................................... 10 When it comes to the noble ones… ............................................................................... 12 Conclusion: No P.E.T.T.Y. issue: ..................................................................................... 13 Poetry corner: ................................................................................................................ 14 A thank you gift: ............................................................................................................ 15 Should you want to support us: ..................................................................................... 15
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DEVOTIONAL PROSE SECTION No P.E.T.T.Y. issue… Guard your psychological heart
In Proverbs 4vs23, a sagacious Hebrew sage adroitly penned:
“Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it springs the issues of life.” (New King James)
Mental health is defined as:
“The condition of being sound mentally and emotionally that is characterized by the absence of mental illness, and by adequate adjustment especially as reflected in feeling comfortable about oneself, positive feelings about others, and the ability to meet the demands of daily life; also: the general condition of one’s mental and emotional state.” (Source: Merriam-Webster dictionary: entry, “mental health”)
Now, whilst this individual may not know all that there is pertaining to that fascinating, profound and pivotal subject; what is known by him, is that one's company - the people they choose to habitually hang around with - has a gaudy/massive bearing on the state of their mental health. The people in one's closest circles, have privileged access to one of the universe's most invaluable resources... their mind, or psychological "heart". In the above Scripture, an inspired sage is counselling one to zealously and jealously guard one's mental and emotional - their psychological – “heart”; as it is just as precious and priceless as the one which pumps in their breast, "for out of it spring the issues of life." Corny Poems Inc.
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“The issues of life” Think of “the issues of life” for a moment now; from the enterprises of personal relationships to acquiring pecuniary muscle, most everything significant which affects humans, involves the mind. Most no meaningful relations, and no appreciable amounts of currency come about by fluke...usually two or more people "master-minded" or put their minds to work in drafting, crafting, implementing and tweaking plans to vivify such visions. These and so many other things, fall under the ambit of, "the issues of life." And, if we are to live optimally, we need to guard our minds, such that they suffer no pathological debility.
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“Guarding the heart is no P.E.T.T.Y issue” 20th century Indian advocate and political activist, Mohandas “Mahatma” Gandhi is credited with pithily quipping: "I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet" (Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/2450-i-will-not-let-anyone-walk-through-my-mind-with; accessed February 21st, 2022)
There is profound wisdom in his imagery; for, just as we are to maintain good physical hygiene/health, we are to observe good mental and emotional hygiene. For instance, just as we are not to be slack in maintaining sanitary environs, lest we give opportunity for dysentery to afflict us, so too, should we not entertain people who may have unsanitary mental health habits, and influence us to emotionally vomit and relieve ourselves onto others. In essence, just as good physical hygiene is no petty issue, so too is good mental hygiene no inconsequential thing.
“Screen the company you keep” Just as it is important to screen the company we keep, so as to be in good physical health, it is also imperative that we screen the company we keep, so as to maintain good emotional health. One such tool or framework, is to employ, what I refer to as the, "P.E.T.T.Y" model or framework.
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This model or frame work is derived from cogitations which I had over the words of an ancient Hebrew sage, who uttered the following in a timeless oration of His: “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly, they are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.” (Matthew 7vs15-17; New King James; emphasis added by this individual)
Elsewhere, He testified that: “Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or else make the tree bad and its fruit bad; for a tree is known by its fruit. Brood of vipers! How can you, being evil, speak good things? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things.” (Matthew 12vs33-35; New King James)
Lastly, another Hebrew moral and philosophical savant, pithily penned: “Even a child is known by his deeds, whether what he does is pure and right.” (Proverbs 20vs11; New King James)
In short? There is no mystique or conundrum as to who people are fundamentally in moral, makeup or character. Through what they habitually say and the actions they convey, people quite literally, telegraph or signal who they are; yes… they literally, “Tell on themselves.” So, want to know who people are? Why, simply pay close attention and: Corny Poems Inc.
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P: Permit E: Everyone T: To T: Tell Y: You
Through their habitual words and works. Yes: P: Patterns E: Enlighten, T: They T: Tell Y: You… Just about everything you need to know.
We just have to observe and take note. This is the profound essence of the matter, though it may seem P.E.T.T.Y (mind the wordplay; it was definitely intended, ha ha). Knowing the above then, the P.E.T.T.Y (or not so petty) framework derived from the sapience of the Hebrew ancients, may be used as a sieve of sorts, to sift beneficial from baleful company. For instance, if someone who is in your life, regularly or habitually: • Gaslights you: That is, minimizes or trivializes your experiences and feelings so serially and severely– especially traumatic ones – such that you end up confused or unsure of your sense of self and your sanity. Corny Poems Inc.
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• Drains you, or makes you feel unworthy, defeatist or “inadequate” or simply, “Not good enough.” • Makes you feel powerlessly anxious about your status and station in life, such that you have what may be termed, “S.A.D [Status Anxiety Disorder]”, and you feel “locked in”, “trapped”, “immobile” or fatalistic as it were. •
Is envious – especially in the insidious, passive-aggressive sense – and tries to get under your skin with barbs and needless nit-picking.
• Makes you feel that their validation is the be-all-end-all of life, and induces you to go on fools’ errands, so as to obtain that elusive, “holy grail”. • Laughs at you, vis-à-vis with you, through inter-alia, malevolent sarcasm and other malicious put downs. • Undermines or seeks to deprive you of your agency, such that they become your Svengali… Then, dear one, please either scoot, and/or craft cerebral strategies to make their presence all the more peripheral, “bit part” or minor in your life.
If, on the other hand, someone, as a matter of routine: • Greets you cordially and gives you the time of day. • Encourages you and makes you feel that you can improve, level-up and overcome if you put in the work. • Points out and helps you see the strengths in yourself, so that you may stand on your own two emotional feet, have a healthy sense of self, and so validate yourself independent of others. • Has no interest or desire to manipulate you, and neither do they demean your faculties and powers of agency and autonomy. Indeed, they actively desire you to develop and educe them to the full. Corny Poems Inc.
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• They encourage you to employ creativity, critical, deep and holistic thinking. They often say to you, “Mmm… what do you think?”, “You can figure this out.” “You got this.” “Sleep over it, it will come.” And other such statements uttered in a spirit of respect and sincere solicitude. • Laugh with you, and when they do laugh at you, their non-verbal language demonstrates that they are coming from a harmless place, and probably just want you to limber up and not be so tense, stiff or “take yourself too seriously all the time”. • Etc… Such a person should be in your life, and you should appreciate them.
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“Practical strategies for both favourable and unfavourable scenarios” So, the P.E.T.T.Y. framework or model helps us spot (so that we may then sift) the productive from the pernicious company in our lives. How then, do we segregate the injurious from the invigorating, so that we begin creating distance from the former, and more closely embrace the latter?
The following are basic starter points, which, stemmed from a blessed Scripture found in Romans 12vs18, which states: “If it is possible, as much as it depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” (New King James)
Yes, the intent of the strategies is to come from a motive of love, rather than malice, wishing the best to all the people who are in our lives, both the harmful, as well as the helpful.
“When it comes to the harmful souls…” Now, with the harmful company, some strategies which may be deployed, include: • Flight: This is to pull back and put that near all-important distance. As Proverbs 14vs7 and 22vs24-25 intimate or hint in principle:
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“Go from the presence of a foolish man, when you do not perceive in him the lips of knowledge.” (New King James)
“Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man do not go, lest you learn his ways and set a snare for your soul.” (New King James)
Yes, bad company is contagious. • Fight: This is done to call out the madness and nonsense of the perpetrator, not to hurt them, but rather to be a voice of reason, rebuke evil, denounce it as well as to demonstrate that there is more to life than their shenanigans. Hopefully, I am not eisegeting Scripture, but an approximate example which comes to mind, is how the God of the Hebrews enabled a donkey of a sorcerer to speak, so as to bring attention to his cupidity and stupidity, and so at least, “put the brakes on them” as it were (see 2 Peter 2vs15-16). • Set and enforce boundaries: Again, this is to “put brakes on the madness” as it were, and demonstrate that you are not an object, but an individual whom, just like them, the Creator is mindful of, and desires to bless, if only they take His wisdom seriously and walk in it (see Psalm 115vs12-13). Again, rather loosely and what I feel is a demonstration of this in principle (again, I hope I am not eisegeting), was when Elijah was miraculously empowered to annihilate two squadrons of soldiers who addressed him with presumption and disrespect, but spared the third squadron when it was clear that his dignity was validated (see 2 Kings 1). In a more common and less supernatural scenario, setting and enforcing boundaries, may look like shunning the company of toxic souls from Corny Poems Inc.
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our inner circle, and only admitting them back, if they have then demonstrated sustained and due regard for our values (see 1 Corinthians 5vs9-13 and 2 Corinthians 2vs5-10). • Press on to bigger, better things: By applying the above three strategies as and when appropriate (the Deity will definitely give one the wisdom and discretion needed, if consulted; see James 1vs5), one sets the stage for them to thrive in life, regardless of the actions or inactions of the other. An extreme scenario/case in point, was that of the life and story of the ancient Hebrew patriarch, Joseph. Though treated deplorably by his siblings, he forgave and let go of all malice and went on with his life, accomplishing great and noble things, knowing if he followed the wisdom and will of God, no malevolent folly of anyone could get in the way of the Deity’s productive vision for his life (see Genesis 50vs19-21). We can do the same, if we focus forward and shed all bitterness, running the race set before us (see Romans 8vs28; Philippians 3vs12; Hebrews 12vs1)
“When it comes to the noble ones…” Thankfully, we are now onto the topic of some basic/elementary yet effectual strategies which may be employed to more closely embrace the ennobling company in our lives. Speaking of gratitude: • Appreciate them: It is so easy to be cavalier and take things and people for granted. Be the exception; appreciate the world of good such golden-hearted people do you and so positively stick out, becoming memorable in their lives (see Luke 17vs11-19as a very, very loose or faint allusion to this). • Reciprocate and be a giver: As they sharpen, edify and enhance you, try to find and take advantage of ways to return the favour, if possible; as this is the essence of friendship; mutual upliftment (see Proverbs 27vs17). Such reciprocity and generosity Corny Poems Inc.
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is what Elisha returned in kind to the Shunammite lady who would go out of her way to be hospitable to him (see 2 Kings 4vs8-17; 8vs1-6). • Be a supporter/pillar/advocate: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”(Proverbs 17vs17; New King James) . Just as they are advocating and supporting your life, by being a pillar for your well-being, strive to do the same as well. Though not perfect, Job’s three friends did strive to come to his aid and offer him support, when all others had forsaken him (see Job 2vs11-13; 42vs9-11). May we endeavor to be like them.
“Conclusion: No P.E.T.T.Y. issue” Thank you so much, dear audience, for sticking with me to the end of this homily whilst atop of this “soapbox”. It is hoped that what has been shared here, will be of use to you, as your optimal mental health is needed to bless us and the community you live in, with all the potential which may be educed from you for God’s glory and our benefit. Please endeavour to keep the best company around you possible, because, as we have seen…tis definitely no P.E.T.T.Y. issue. Thanks.
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“Poetry corner” Mental health is priceless (By Corny Poems Inc.)
"Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life." (Proverbs 4:23; New King James)
Here's the thing, not many of us can afford others' nonsense of contempt and other malicious frills. See, we need all the mental health we can get, so that our minds are in a place to learn marketable skills, As those are needed to earn an honest living and pay bills. If our minds are shot, are we guaranteed that someone will step in for us and pay for all the therapists' sessions, potions, prescriptions and pills? So, no doubt about it, guard your psychological heart, for if someone runs up in your life, and say, your confidence and sense of self kills, What foundation do you have to launch off of in becoming a fruitful, functioning member of society? You don't, and it then seems that you'll have to head for the hills.
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