Cultural Times 7th Edition

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F E B R U A R Y

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CULTURAL TIMES W H E R E

D I V E R S I T Y

T H R I V E S

SHARING THE C ARING CHILDCARE ADDS UP Shine a Light on

Stolen Generations of Australia

COVID Burnout

C O N T E N T S

Shine a light on Autism Cover Story P. 2-5

FEATURED 2

Shine a LIght on Autism

7

COVID Burnout

10

From stolen Generation to Orphanage to Healing

14

Sharing the Caring

COVID Burnout P. 7-9

A GLOBAL PERSPECTIVE 15

News Around the World

18

Chrysanthemums , Death and Funerals

20

Lessons Learnt - From Iran to Spain

From Stolen Generation to Orphanage to Healing P. 10-13

GENERAL 24 Book Review - Where the Crawdads Sing 25 We must talk about race

Sharing the Caring P. 14-16

CULTURAL TIMES |

FEB 2021

Letter from the Editor Welcome to a new century. I am writing this from Perth, Western Australia, where we've gone into abrupt lockdown within hours for 5 days, after no community transmission for 10 months. In spite of not having been in lockdown we've been doing much more virtual business during the last 6 months. I think we can all agree that the world is rapidly changing.

We know as fear increases it changes the makeup of our psychology and it is therefore crucial that we embed inclusive practices as part of our everyday life. I was even lucky enough to recently release a TEDx talk on the topic. This edition is filled with practical hints and tips; from providing a autism perspective from someone diagnosed with autism to revisiting a story from the 'Stolen Generation'. The latter is part of us staying true to our promise to always make sure to include different perspectives including an Indigenous perspective. How do you make sure your messages in the workplace include everyone?

We take a different look at COVID-19 in tackling COVID burnout and considering options for sharing the childcare load from different angles. I truly believe the 'Virus' is a great opportunity and time for us to revisit how we used to do things and look at creating a more inclusive future. A dear friend recently lost a parent and decided to get cheerful yellow roses as her mom loved them. In our article about Cryssanthenums and death, we explore differences around the world in how we approach/celebrate and mourn the dead.

A more cheerful personal story by Shivah Roofeh explores her life in different countries and a journey of discovery around the world, concluded by an article reminding us to talk about race.

Finally, I would like to wish you all a wonderful Lunar new year kicking off on 12 February this year, leading us into the Year of the Ox. may it be a year of new beginnings and inclusive improvements.

Tanya Finnie Tanya Finnie Editor and Content Director

We support young people in media and marketing, because why would you not.

Want to get in touch?

Have an amazing story to tell?

Write to us at editor@cultural-times.com

CULTURAL TIMES | FEB 2021

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SHINE A LIGHT ON

AUTISM

By Danny Taylor-Smith

Two hundred years ago, a slew of dead psychologists argued that individuals with disabilities would never make it in an educational environment.

Only they weren’t speaking of individuals with special needs – they were speaking about women.

Fast forward roughly 140 years into the future during the first wave of feminism, and our male ancestors postulated confusingly that there were never any issues before women elected to speak their minds. Of course, we know the issues were always there, yet women until then had little means to convey their views until the industrial revolution. Those in power were willingly, or unknowingly, impeding progress – and the same can be said for individuals on the receiving end of these similar dynamics with Autism Spectrum Disorder in the 21st century.

During the Second World War, air force statisticians sought to place armour on fighter planes to protect its pilots from enemy aircrafts.

They had an unusual conundrum – how could they balance the armoured weight of the planes whilst still retaining its ability to fly? To solve this, they collected data from several different aircrafts which had to return to base.

CULTURAL TIMES | FEB 2021

Using this information, they determined that the areas with the most bullet damage should ideally be protected the most. However, what the military didn’t realise was that they were only accounting for planes that had returned, and not those that had been shot down. This form of irony is appropriately called Survivorship Bias (a form of selection bias), and we see this play out in careers, the arts, business, economics, and other areas of human behaviour. We praise those who succeed, and yet unfairly forget those who tried but ultimately failed due to their invisibility. Very rarely do we stop to evaluate the variables that lead to success. Are they even worth it?

There is strength in failing, and those efforts should not go unnoticed.

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Shine a light on Autism

Diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) when I was only eight years old, my life has been defined by failure – or more appropriately, the perception of failure by others. And yet, I’ve completed two degrees, worked for multiple organisations, and recently gave my first TEDx Presentation.

When I came to terms with this, however, I also became very aware that these successes were highly likely due to chance. My parents did just so happen to be well-established entrepreneurs. I found it is our beliefs, both true and erroneous, that can unwittingly lead to our success, and it is the perspectives of others that rule over our lives. Despite my given description as a failure, I had achieved countless things. And so, I vowed to be as objective as I possibly could in my approach to life, and this would influence my personal views in relation to disability, education and learning going forward.

How else could I account for my own Survivorship Bias?

Unfortunately, it is this very influence that often compromises our objectivity in the first place.

Danny Taylor-Smith, November 2020

People on the Autism Spectrum are prone to unemployment and discrimination. Those who share their diagnosis are often, but not always, dismissed as the diagnosis itself makes the employer feel uncomfortable. Others are dismissed further down the line after being hired for not disclosing it at all, though it bears no relevance to the actual tasks for the job.

31.6% Struggle to find work (of people diagnosed with autism)

YET

45% Report skills considerably higher than the job they need

However, meta-analyses suggest these same individuals are some of the most dedicated, consistent, and reliable employees one might ever want!

CULTURAL TIMES | FEB 2021

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Shine a light on Autism

Clearly, there is a mismatch. As a society, we praise the beautiful, the charming, and that perfect smile – the perception of success. Very rarely do we stop to consider the values or long-term intentions of those closest to us. The very best may be right under our noses. We cherish those who superficially appear like a winner, yet denigrate others that don’t match the imaginary narrative we’ve laid out in our minds.

Individuals on the Autism Spectrum are regularly both defined by and reminded of their failures, and it’s in their failures that we can learn the most about ourselves. We never stop to think, “Why are they failing, and what is this teaching us?” We’re quick to blame the biology, but fast to evade examining the surrounding environment. These are, metaphorically speaking, the missing data points with our air force fighter planes. We project our insecurities onto people with ASD, and unfortunately, I’m sad to admit, I occasionally do the same.

So what are you not noticing that’s always been there?

AUTISM TIPS In 2015, 1 in 150 people were diagnosed with having Autism Spectrum Disorder.

While biological in nature, consider any immediate problems may be environmental. You might be contributing to any negative behaviours. Don't victim blame.

Consider their values - they're just as, if not more important, than their skills. Look for intention, not just outcome. You are just as prone to the characteristics of Autism, as someone on the Spectrum. Consider that the majority of social behaviours are not necessarily applicable to every situation.

Refer to Siegfried Engelmann's book 'The Theory of Instruction' for suggestions.

Engelmann's strategies were subject to America's largest, funded experimental investigation in education, Project Follow Through. It applies to all learners, not necessarily just children.

When giving an instruction to an employee with Autism, be sure to list as many variables as possible. It's highly likely that due to ableism, they've not yet had the life experiences that resulted in the knowledge to act appropriately resourceful.

Provide examples and non-examples.

CULTURAL TIMES | FEBRUARY 2021

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QUOTE

Inclusion and the ability to grow your cultural intelligence is not a matter of political correctness. It is the key to the future. The key to growth and being an outstanding leader.

TANYA FINNIE Global Cultural Strategist

CULTURAL TIMES | FEB 2021

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COVID BURNOUT Against the backdrop of COVID-19, an increasing number of employees are feeling heightened levels of anxiety. Recent research suggests around seven in ten workers are suffering burnout in the wake of COVID with the biggest issue being the lack of separation between work and private lives (thanks to remote working). Add to that the fact that pay cuts have been common, workloads have increased, work hours have decreased and general feelings of anxiety - relating to the pandemic; burnout seems inevitable.

Pandemics lead to change and change

Home-schooling,

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an impact on your bottom triple line.

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phenomena in an occupational context

CULTURAL TIMES | OCT 2021

(social)

out

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awareness.

Organisation

Being

dipping.

burnt

condition, costing billions a year. The Health

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Covid Burnout

Signs to look out for There are many signs, but they are not all are easy to spot. You may see anxiety, depression, anger, and irritability amongst staff or within yourself. Other symptoms include a weakened immune response, trouble sleeping or sleeping more, low energy, high blood pressure, a variety of aches and pains or even cardiovascular impacts. In a work environment you will see decreased productivity, difficulties concentrating, sudden emotional outbreaks, resentment and feeling of disillusionment or cynicism. You may also note an increase in sick days or higher employee turnover.

What to do?

As a leader you have a responsibility to protect your team from burnout. It should be an increased priority, especially in this difficult time of the pandemic. You cannot expect your employees to be ‘always on’. If you tend to respond to e-mails outside of standard business hours, make sure you have a written line indicating you do not expect the receiver to work at those hours. Keep in mind that employees mostly want to perform, and the culture is set by management on what the expectations are. It is your job to set a good example for employees to follow.

Manage their workload. Not two workers are the same, some may be more flexible and others more detailed orientated. Adjust tasks to workers and their skill sets. The most important tip is to communicate regularly and actively listen. Checking in with employees is crucial. Regularly! You do not want to become a micromanager, but not checking in will leave employees feeling despondent and not cared for. You could also miss out on potential issues.

Check-in on a more personal basis as well. Especially during this time with workers increasingly

working

from

home.

Do

they

have

the

appropriate

office

furniture

required and support from staff that they may not have direct access to, due to social distancing or do they suffer additional stress due to a partner losing a job?

Provide support beyond the workplace and make sure employees are aware of the support available to them.

CULTURAL TIMES |FEB 2021

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Covid Burnout

This is a time to get more creative and inventive. Come up with new ways to manage staff that may even serve you better post-pandemic. Most organisations have by now mastered managing remote teams or to a minimum effective

for

their

teams.

Resist

the

figured out a video conferencing tool that is

temptation

to

make

work

tactical

through

strict

processes, rules and procedures. For example if you let your employee have a longer lunch and have time for a healthy walk, they may come up with a creative solution to a work problem and be more productive after hours, when they get back to completing their tasks outside of normal working hours.

f you want an engaged team member who is not burning out, you need to provide an environment for them to do this in. Give your staff the opportunity to present different solutions. As a manger it is easy to get distracted by the strategy and big picture and get overwhelmed yourself. Keep an eye on yourself and lead by example, but don’t be afraid to share your experiences with staff. People connect through stories.Be the hero in the pandemic

who

creates

a

‘non-burnout’

culture,

a

supporting

work

environment

where

productivity can rise, staff can thrive, and innovation comes alive.

If you want an engaged team member who is not burning out, you need to provide an environment for

them

to

do

this

in.

Give

your

staff

the

opportunity to present different solutions.

As a manger it is easy to get distracted by the strategy and big picture and get overwhelmed yourself. Keep an eye on yourself and lead by example,

but

don’t

be

afraid

to

share

your

experiences with staff. People connect through stories.

Be the hero in the pandemic who creates a ‘non-burnout’ culture, a supporting work environment where productivity can rise, staff can thrive, and innovation comes alive.

Tanya Finnie is the founder of RedHead Communications - leadership and cultural strategy consultancy firm. As a global cultural strategist, she is passionate about inclusion and loves building more collaborative teams.

She lives in Perth where they've suddenly gone into lockdown at the start of February after no community transmission for 10-months. She is also a mom and dog lover.

CULTURAL TIMES |FEB 2021

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Covid Burnout

Communicate, Connect and Change with Confidence

S O C IAL D I S T A N C I N G G U I DELINES

ACROSS THE WORLD DIFFERS Canada, Spain, New Zealand and the UK

2m

1.8m

The US

1.5m

Australia, Germany, the Netherlands, Greece, South Africa and Italy

China, Hong Kong, Singapore and Denmark CULTURAL TIMES | FEB 2021

1m

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From Stolen Generation to Orphanage to Healing Last year my partner and I decided to visit Bomaderry Children’s Home on our way to Jervis Bay on the South Coast of New South Wales (NSW), where we had planned a short vacation. Thousands of people are passing the home every day, less than a hundred metres away, as they drive by on the Princess Highway and cross the Shoalhaven River on their way south or north through Nowra, a 200-km drive south from Sydney.

As I turned into the property, I slowed down my car intuitively. Something told me to approach humbly and with respect for this historic place. It was only later that I discovered why this was the right thing to do.

I parked our car near the office and we got out. It was quiet and I couldn’t see anyone. There are about half a dozen buildings, and it felt a little as if they were raising half an eye to see who has arrived and disturbed their sleep. But there was life.

CULTURAL TIMES | FEB 2021

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Stolen Generation I made myself known at the office, and a helpful Aboriginal woman took me to another building to meet Nicole, the CEO of Nowra Local Aboriginal Land Council, the organisation which is now looking after the place.

While we waited for Nicole we learnt that Uncle Willy is the official library of the Home, and it didn’t take long for us to learn why. Nicole greeted us warmly. She was happy to see curious visitors who are willing to learn and expressed she wished there were more. This place, she said, is the birthplace of a dark chapter of Australian history.

The Stolen Generations of NSW started here, the removal of Aboriginal children from their families, a government policy that would haunt not only Aboriginal people, but also Australia as a nation for a long time.

Bomaderry Children’s Home started in 1907 when missionaries took care of a baby girl, and a year later looked after six orphaned siblings. In 1909 the NSW government ratified the Aborigines Protection Act and the horrors of forced child removal began.

Bomaderry housed children in dormitories up until the 1960s. Children were not allowed to go home, and the missionaries severed them from their culture, language, family and country. The children were assimilated into white society, and when they were old enough sent off to other homes where the boys were trained as labourers and the girls as domestic servants. Many never saw their parents again.

Bomaderry Children’s Home closed in 1988. The NSW Aboriginal Lands Trust bought the property and put it into the care of the local Nowra Aboriginal Land Council.

CULTURAL TIMES | FEB 2021

Nicole couldn’t wait to introduce us to the true authority of the place: Uncle Willy Dixon, the caretaker. We met him outside the cottage where he now lives. His hair has turned white and he maintains a huge grey beard that reminded me of Gandalf, from the Lord of the Rings.

Uncle Willy was only four months old when he was taken from his family and forced to live at the Bomaderry Aboriginal Children's Home. If anyone knew the soul of this place it was him.

He left no doubt about how he cares about Bomaderry. I asked him if I am allowed to take pictures and he permits it for private purposes only, so no publication. He does not waste time letting me know what happened to the last person who posted photos online without permission. A young boy, and how his mum understood why Uncle Willy smashed his camera. I sensed fierce paternal protection and resilience drives this Elder. I’m sure he looks after this place as if it was one of his children.

Uncle Willy knew every inch. He pointed out where walkways have been and buildings once stood. All we can see today is grass, a few remaining concrete plates and some indentations and raised areas. I try to imagine how life must have been for the children. Too many photographs show them smiling and happy. But if it weren’t forced smiles, they were smiles of innocence and not knowing that the ‘care’ they received was slowly stripping away their Aboriginal identity, layer by layer.

Flowers grow in patches, defiantly, as if to say “We know the history but we grow here regardless”. Do these patches mark places that need particularly healing, I wonder…

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Stolen Generation Uncle Willy led us to a special tree and enquired if we could see faces in its bark. The bark was wrinkly in places, and as I got closer, I could discern round shapes and yes, there were eyes and mouths – faces! “These are the faces of the children,” explained Uncle. No other tree has these marks. The faces seemed to muster me curiously, as children would to find out if you’re a good or bad person. Some seemed to have expressions of agony.

At the back of the property is a place Uncle Willy is very proud of because he built it himself. The memorial garden is a place of reflection, a place where visitors can remember and reflect. Native plants grow on the perimeter of a circle that holds a flagpole and a plaque which invites you to honour and respect the children. It reminds you that the site is the birthplace of the Stolen Generations in NSW. Small yellow footprints lead into the circle, and larger ones lead out at the other end, symbolising the time the stolen children spent here.

You can see it on Google Earth where it looks like a portal that could teleport you to another world.

Life at Bomaderry certainly was another world for those who passed through.

Some former children are now members of the Children of the Bomaderry Aboriginal Children’s Home (CBACH). Survivors of the Home face many challenges, especially in mental and physical health. The scars are deep but hope for healing is an eternal flame and high on the agenda of the corporation.

Uncle Willy reminded us to drive out slowly. The path is loosely covered in gravel, and underneath lies the original driveway, which is better left undisturbed, he advised. I then understood my intuitive feeling as I entered.

We left deeply filled with history and a mix of emotions. Sadness and anger for what happened here, but also the fact that so few visitors take in and learn about this place. We also feel admiration for the people who look after the home, and a sense of angst if all this knowledge will survive into the next generation.

Much later my thoughts formed these words:

We were born ready, Say the children of Bomaderry.

But you replaced our talents and skills With hard work and other ills.

Gone are we now, but we still yearn For you to come and seek and learn.

Once you know us you will feel, And your feelings help us heal.

When our story touches your heart, We can rest, and you can start.

Jens

Nowra Local Aboriginal Land Council and CBACH have reviewed this text and given their permission to publish.

CULTURAL TIMES | FEB 2021

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Sharing the Caring CHILDCARE ADDS UP Fiona David, Trish Bergin and Kim Rubenstein

Imagine a new smartphone comes onto the market. For men, it costs $100; for women, it’s $114, reflecting the 14% gender pay gap that existed pre-COVID-19. For men, the phone’s reception is flawless, but women can only use it if they stand on one leg, juggling a baby and a laptop computer while looking calm and perfectly groomed. Ridiculous?

Well, this is essentially the system we have set up for second-income earners in Australia, most of whom are women. Here and elsewhere, COVID-19 has shone a spotlight on how inequality is baked into our social structures, and one of the many inequalities so exposed is the differential impact of crises like this pandemic on women.

It’s a deep divide, beginning with the high proportion of women doing the essential caring work in hospitals, the indispensable cleaning of public and private places and the nurturing of children in the home. In order to take up the last of those roles, women often have little choice but to reduce their paid working hours. If this weren’t enough, women’s jobs were among the first to be cut in sectors such as hospitality and retail.

CULTURAL TIMES | FEB 2021

Perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised by these inequalities. In Australia today, just seven of the 30 federal government ministers are women — an imbalance that extends across state and territory government too, with women filling only 48 (or 26%) of 181 ministerial positions. When it comes to pressing public policy issues, whether they are social, economic or political, women are noticeably absent from the key decisionmaking forums.

So, are we going to continue to buy this preCOVID product, or are we going to demand something more fit for purpose? This week, a formidable coalition led by former foreign minister Julie Bishop, epidemiologist Professor Fiona Stanley, former SA premier Jay Weatherall and philanthropist Nicola Forrest has called for a major structural reform that has the potential to build a more equal society. What they want is a highquality, universally accessible childcare and early learning system.

What they want is a high-quality, universally accessible childcare and early learning system. | 1 4 |

Sharing the Caring Left: A mother trying to work from home while holding her daughter and watching her son during the COVID-19 home quarantine.

Photo Credit: Jordan Siemens.

On one view, childcare might be thought of as being the responsibility of individual parents. Looked at differently, though, highquality childcare is fundamental to ensuring greater equality. It is also key to increasing women’s workforce participation.

In Australia, women are currently 38% of all full-time employees, and 68% of all parttime employees. While some women want to work part-time, research confirms that many want full-time employment but can’t afford it. Even after subsidies, full-time childcare fees absorb a quarter of household income for an average earning couple with two children in Australia, compared to the OECD average of 11%. A family getting the maximum subsidy (on an income of less than $68,000) still needs to find an annual $9000 for full-time care.

Almost half of Australian parents with children under five report struggling with the costs. This means that if both parents earn $60,000 a year and the secondary earner — usually a woman — chooses to work more than three days a week, the secondary earner currently loses 90% of the income on the fourth day, and all of it on the fifth day.

This obviously has a brutal impact on women’s career trajectories, with part-time work rarely leading to leadership roles.

CULTURAL TIMES | FEB 2021

Lifting women’s workforce participation is an important step on the road to ensuring that both women and men have an equal opportunity to become political leaders.

There’s plenty of room for progress — of the 193 countries in the United Nations, only 13 are led by a woman.

Sharing the caring, not only within the family but within society as a whole, is fundamental to ensuring women are equally represented at decision-making tables around the country.

Representative democracy is about representing the needs of the whole community and drawing on the expertise of all people. The current system discourages women from becoming active citizens for a range of reasons, including their disproportionate responsibility for childcare. haring the caring, not only within the family but within society as a whole, is fundamental to ensuring women are equally represented at decision-making tables around the country.

Universal, accessible early learning also benefits the children who are our future leaders. Research shows that the early years of a child’s life, up to five years of age, are critical to their future academic, health, social and professional trajectories.

Play-based early learning develops the executive functions critical to our nation’s economic future.

| 1 5 |

Sharing the Caring Competencies and emotional frameworks that lead to high-valued jobs (which should include childcare) in the fastest growing sectors are developed in those early years.

We are investing in our future if we invest in children’s education at this age. While we know these early years are critical, preschool is currently only universally available for four year olds, except in Victoria, where three-year-old preschool is becoming available. Childcare varies hugely in quality and is simply unaffordable for many Australian families.

As our leaders search around for shovelready projects to get the economy back on track, they need to look beyond the obvious strategies of investing in bridges and roads.

An investment in building universal, accessible early learning in Australia will have a multiplier effect, improving our economy and society in ways that benefit everyone.

This article originally appeared in Inside Story.

These problems are reflected in the data, which shows that many children are continuing to fall through the gaps.

The Australian Early Development Census reveals that one in five children entering school is developmentally vulnerable in one or more domains. If we look only at indigenous children, the numbers are stark: six in 10 are developmentally vulnerable. By the time these kids get to school, critical neural pathways are embedded. It will be a struggle for them to catch up, whether in reading, writing or emotional regulation.

Trish Bergin (Left) and Professor Kim Rubenstein (Right) are the Co-Directors of the 50/50 by 2030 Foundation in the Faculty of Business, Government and Law at the University of Canberra.

Fiona was appointed as the inaugural Research Chair of Minderoo Foundation in 2018. In her previous role as Executive Director of Global Research for Minderoo Foundation’s Walk Free, Fiona led the team that created the Global Slavery Index, from its 1st to 4th edition. A lawyer and criminologist, Fiona has worked for more than twenty years at the intersection of crime, law reform and human rights.

CULTURAL TIMES | FEB 2021

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News Around the World

Global News

AUSTRALIA The Queensland government has implemented new laws criminalising health practitioners from using LGBTIQ+ conversion practices.

The penalities for attempting to suppress a person's sexual orientation include up to 18month imprisonment.

AUSTRALIA

INDIA

Laws have recently passed in the state of Victoria that could potentially see sexual assault survivors receive jail time for up to four months or fines over $3 000.

Zomato, an Indian food company, has stated it will introduce 'period leave', which will involve up to 10 days of paid leave.

Such penalties could be awarded to sexual assault survivors if they tell their stories using the real names of their attack if they have been found guilty.

The introduction of 'period leave' hopes to reduce the stigma surrounding female health issues and menstruation.

Court orders are required by the victims if they wish to identify themselves and share their experience, which would cost most than $10,000 in legal fees.

VATICAN CITY

AFRICA

Prior to the appointment of the six women the council has consisted completely of men.

Rwanda's 'Church of God in Africa' has made headlines for opening its doors to LGBT+ members .

The church has provided a place for support and comfort for those shunned by society and their families.

The law in Rwanda has neither legalized or criminalized same-sex relationships, however, the region is 63% Christian, and 30% Muslim, making it one of the most religious regions in the world.

USA Democratic nominee Joe Biden has been sworn in as the new President of the USA with Kamala Harris as his Vice President.

Kamala Harris is the daughter of Jamaican and Indian immigrants and is the first black women to feature on a presidential ticket in US history. She is also the first ever female Vice President of the USA. Amanda Gorman made world news as the youngest inaugurationpoet, with a inspirational rap poem calling for unity adn togetherness.

CULTURAL TIMES | FEB 2021

Pope Francis has made a historical change to the Vatican Council by appointing six women to the 15-member Council fo the Economy.

LEBANON Numerous controversial Islamic Laws have been dropped in Sudan. Such policies were enacted 30 years prior by former president Omar al-Bashir.

Some of the laws included those surrounding apostasy, alcohol, the travel of children withough permission from their fathers, banning female genital mutiliation and other laws dictating women's attire.

AUSTRALIA Abortion activists and professionals have again called for law reform in South Australia, in which the state's crimes act states that surgical terminations must take place at prescribed hospitals adn two doctors agree that a woman's physical adn/or mental health is endangered. The current law presents significant accessibility barriers to women in the state. | 1 7 |

CHRYSANTHEMUMS, DEATH AND FUNERALS Guglielmo Placanica On my last trip visiting family in Southern Italy, I decided to give my two aunts a bunch of flowers each. When I entered the village florist, I was immediately attracted to big, colourful bunches of chrysanthemums. I picked up two bunches.

Both my aunts were mothers and coming from Australia I saw the chrysanthemum as a Mother’s Day flower. The perfect gift, I thought. However, during a discussion with the sales assistant I discovered that these flowers were inappropriate.

Apparently in Italy, as in most European countries, the chrysanthemum represents death and is given as a sign of comfort during times of bereavement.

How we deal with grief and bereavement varies from culture to culture. Funeral rituals depend on religious beliefs, cultural traditions and customs.

My first childhood experience of death was when my grandfather passed away. I remember mourners gathered at my grandparents’ house, bringing food and paying their respects. Women met in one room, men in another and everyone wore dark colours, mainly black.

Wearing black at these times in Western countries is seen as a sign of respect and mourning the loss of someone. However, in some Eastern countries white is considered the colour of mourning.

Traditionally, in Australia, a funeral service commences with a ceremony at a church or chapel followed by a burial or cremation.

However, different cultures have different funeral rituals.

CULTURAL TIMES | FEB 2021

Jewish bereavement commences with the initial stage of mourning and then burial within a short period of time. This is followed by more stages of mourning.

Hindu funeral services vary from sect to sect; the body is cremated within twentyfour hours and the ashes are scattered in a sacred body of water. In modern times, some Americans are now choosing green funerals which are environmental friendly burials.

In our current times of confusion, when we are exposed to daily statistics of a rising death toll, our primary instinct is to protect ourselves and to survive. In so doing, we naturally reflect on our own mortality.

The passing of a loved one is a difficult and emotionally uncertain time.

Regardless of cultural backgrounds, religious beliefs, traditions and customs, the commonality of all funeral rites is that they assist us in accepting the loss of loved ones. These rituals honour and respect the memory of the deceased and help us gain closure. They support us through our grief. | 1 8 |

Thailand is sometimes known as the "land of smiles" as Thai people seem to be always ready with a smile.

Write to us at info@cultural-times.com if you have interesting facts about different countries/nations .

Lessons Learnt From Iran to Spain Shivah Roofeh

When Shiva Roofeh travels for work, whether it’s to London Heathrow, Moscow Sheremetyevo or the other half dozen cities her work takes her to regularly, she has a very interesting exchange with the immigration officer. When they ask why she is there and what she does, she tells them “I’m here to teach people how to not be assholes”. Without fail, regardless of the city and culture, as soon as they hear her answer they laugh, stamp her passport and invite her in. Apparently, there’s an epidemic.

This article is the story of Shiva’s stories. It’s a collection of events she lived and the stories she told herself about those events and what they mean. It’s an exploration into the mental programming we unknowingly create for ourselves, and how we let that mental programming drive our guidelines for life.

Her work is the kind of work that spans cultures and generations. And though everyone agrees that this work is necessary, no one wants to think that they need to be one of her learners.

Everyone else is an asshole, it’s not you, it’s them.

For Shiva however, everyone, including herself, can and should relate to the term.

Because, by her definition an asshole is unaware of the stories they tell themselves.

These are stories about who they are and who they should be, about their role, responsibilities and possibilities, stories about what is right, wrong, good and bad, stories about their teams, their organizations and about the world and how it works. In short, according to Shiva, an asshole is unaware of their mental programming. By being unaware, we give power and control to our inner asshole without realizing it.

Our stories are a huge part of our personal culture (versus national or corporate culture). We end up living in our stories, and they become our guidelines to life.

CULTURAL TIMES | FEB 2021

Shiva was born in Tehran, Iran in the 1980’s. She was born to a Jewish father, who had converted to Islam, and a Muslim mother. She was born after the revolution of 1978 and in the middle of a 10 year war with Iraq. Before most of this, before the war, before the breadlines and before she was even born, a story happened, a story that was later passed down to her. One day, there was a knock on the door. When her parents answered, they found the secret police ready to arrest them. They heard that a Muslim person and a Jewish person got married and were there to investigate and most likely, to punish. Which isn’t so odd - It was their job to know and it was illegal for the two to marry. What stood out to Shiva, however, wasn’t that they knew but how they knew.

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Lessons Learnt - From Iran to Spain They knew because a neighbour told them.

Someone they shared a community with, someone just one door or one wall away, maybe even someone with kids that she and her sister played with. When Shiva heard this story she did what all of us do - she added meaning to the story. What she decided this meant was that she can’t trust anyone, and if her own community isn’t safe then neither is the world. So, she started to walk through life holding on to her trust, looking for safe places and safe people.

Fast forward a few years and she and her family leave Iran as refugees and go to Italy, their processing centre. She had to go school and the only school that had space, was a Catholic school. So now you have an Iranian Muslim refugee, going to a Catholic school, in a small town in Italy in the 1980’s.

If that confuses you, imagine how the nuns felt. They did not know what to do with her.

She was so far outside their idea of what could exist in their community, that they chose what most people chose - to pretend that she did not exist. They ignored her, isolated her, and rejected her. They locked her in the closet and would not let her speak or play with the other kids. They chose fear instead of curiosity.

When experiencing this, Shiva added to her story that authority cannot be trusted and that visibility is bad, it’s more than bad it’s dangerous. So be invisible. And she was. All throughout her education she was the one sitting in the back, with her head down taking notes, not looking her teachers in the eye, and not raising her hand to speak.

Being noticed leads to no good.

CULTURAL TIMES | FEB 2021

Fast forward again, almost fifteen years later, to September 11, 2001 which was also Shiva’s first week of university. After leaving Italy her family moved to NYC where she was raised. For university she went out of NYC to a state where her light skin and green eyes were not seen as white for a lot of people even before September 11th.

Over the next few years she would go to classes where students asked why all Muslims were violent, to parties that ended in drunk students chanting “bomb the Middle East” and she would enter every conversation wondering what will happen once she answered the question “where are you from?”

The story of “don’t trust anyone” and “I don’t belong” was exhausting,so she left. She moved abroad and in the 17 years since she lived back in the US for a total of 2.5 years.

Let’s pause here and go back to our definition of an asshole: someone unaware of their mental programming, someone living in their stories without realizing. And, by being unaware of their mental programming, they are being driven by their stories instead of driving and consciously creating their own stories.

Like all of us, Shiva went through life giving meaning to all her experiences and unfortunately most of the time the meaning was a negative one. It didn’t matter how positive she was on the outside; her stories were deep inside her and they all pointed to a world that was dangerous and unfair.

This meant that whatever decisions she made and actions she took were often a reaction to this deep belief. By not knowing her programming and stories she was letting life happen to her instead of with her.

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Lessons Learnt - From Iran to Spain To finally realize that her beliefs and stories were in the driver's seat of her life, she had to live one more story: divorce. Getting divorced made her question why she got married at all. The more she questioned, the more she realized and learned about the assumptions, beliefs, thoughts and stories that were behind all her actions, all her choices and all her decisions.

She realized that she got married because she wanted to be protected. The world was a dangerous place and being alone was a disadvantage. She realized that she got married because she wanted someone to hide behind. Her partner was an opera singer, a larger than life personality. With him next to her, she could fade into the background when things didn’t feel safe.

She started to question more, to unpack more hidden beliefs and assumptions from her programming and more importantly, she started to reprogram herself.

Reprogramming is a process, it takes time and patience and is a complete adventure.

It’s the act of making your life mean more.

She’s reprogrammed herself to make “No” a super power to save others and herself pain.

She has reprogrammed herself to see visibility as an opportunity, to understand that trust is something you have to give to get. She has reprogrammed herself to live by design and not default, to take control of her stories so they don’t control her. In short, she has reprogrammed herself to not be an asshole.

She also realized that she said yes because she did not know how to say no. For years she wanted to fit in, to not anger authority simply feel safe. She wanted this because the stories she told herself said that these were things she needed or that were lacking. And she believed that to get that to fit in, appease authority and feel safe she had to say yes, because ‘No’ means conflict, ‘No’ means breaking the harmony, ‘No’ means standing out.

Since she started to realize her programming, she started to see the bigger picture of her life and the stories that lead her to where she was. She saw that for so long she had let her stories lead her. She thought she was the active director of her own life but realized that she was just a passive assistant.

Seeing the bigger picture, she decided that she wanted to be in the driver's seat. We may not always have power over life, but we do have power over our programming power over how we experience life.

CULTURAL TIMES | FEB 2021

When thinking about your own life. Ask yourself: what are the stories you’ve been telling yourself about the world, how it works and your role in it?

Which stories do you need to update, and which stories do you simply need to let go of?

You may not control life, but you can control your stories | 2 2 |

Inclusion in an evolving industry – Moving from reactive to proactive practices The 2020 workforce reductions have caused a knowledge drain and impacted the older workforce in particular; prior to 2020 it was already difficult for some people to find jobs in the oil and gas industry and if they did there were challenges of acceptance and inclusion. With a different job market in 2021, how do we ensure that everyone gets a fair chance? This is the topic of conversation at this year’s Diversity & Inclusion Breakfast at AOG Energy next month. Key industry leaders will discuss changes that we can make to set our industry up for success in 2021 and beyond.

Tasha Broomhall MSc (Psych), an Adjunct Senior Lecturer with the University of Notre Dame and Director of Blooming Minds, is this year’s keynote speaker and will be presenting the session ‘Mental health, diversity and intersectionality - Achieving genuine inclusion and participation in organisations’.

Tasha’s work has been recognised with the ICCWA Suicide Prevention Award, as a finalist in the LiFE Awards for Excellence in Suicide Prevention and in 2020 her ‘Inside Out’ segment with Christine Layton on ABC radio was the runner up in the Mental Health Week Media Awards.

This year’s Diversity & Inclusion Breakfast takes place on Thursday 11 March 2021 from 7 am – 9 am at the Peth Convention & Exhibition Centre.

Tickets to the breakfast can be purchased by registering for AOG Energy at aogexpo.com.au/register

CULTURAL TIMES | Feb 2021

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w e i v e R k o Bo

by Tanya Finnie

Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens There is a good reason this book has topped the various bestseller lists for months in a row. This exquisite coming of age story in the swamplands of North Carolina will capture your heart. (I sat crying in bed at 3am) It has the perfect mix of mystery with a possible murder, beautifully described imagery of the local area and a young, strong protagonist (Kya) who inspires you to change the world.

Kya is abandoned as a young girl and makes her own way in a world where she is judged and labelled as wild at best and 'to be avoided' at worst. It is a book filled with love, prejudice, hope and loneliness. I loved every moment of this read, though I sometimes ached for the characters.

It explored racism from a different angle as Kya is labelled as white trash. It will break your heart and give you hope at the same time. The beautiful descriptions and strong messages will make it a quick read.

CULTURAL TIMES | FEB 2021

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WE MUST TALK ABOUT RACE Rabia Siddique I have been writing a lot recently about peopleled movements for change. This phenomenon has never been so evident as in recent months.

Following the tragic and unlawful killing by a police officer of 46-year-old African American man George Floyd in Minnesota, there has been an immediate international response by not just black communities but people worldwide. People like you and me. People of all colours, cultures, religions, ages and socio-economic demographics that have been speaking out, standing up and taking to the streets - despite current health risks - and protesting the systemic racism that has dogged our institutions. At best it has been ignored and at worst accepted as part of our culture for too long.

There is so much I can say about the institutional and systemic racism I have witnessed and tried for the last 25 years to fight and advocate against. We all have a personal responsibility to speak out and stand up against racism and there is a desperate need for humanity and values based leadership in our world.

There is a desperate need to commit fully to reconciliation through truth-telling, selfdetermination and greater respect for people of colour, indigenous people and all those marginalised, voiceless and disenfranchised. But perhaps now more than for a long time this hashtag #blacklivesmatter says it all. And, it always will until every human, institution, organisation, policy, every law, and every government commit to black lives mattering. Not more than, but equal to. That is all that is sought.

CULTURAL TIMES | FEB 2021

So with this in mind, as well as the fact that we are living at a unique period in time, where we stand at the precipice of such global change, it’s time we asked ourselves, what really matter to us? What moves us to speak out, stand up, and be counted? When we have answered that question, the next question is - what’s stopping us?

It only takes one person to start a ripple effect of change. If we all commit to creating just one ripple, we will together make waves.

That is what people led movements of change are all about. And that is the beautiful revolution we are witnessing around the world today. People standing up against institutions, authorities, and governments, holding them to account and demanding better, demanding different, being the change.

Rabia is a multi award winning international humanitarian lawyer, retired British Army senior officer, former war crimes and terrorism prosecutor and hostage survivor. Born in Perth, the eldest of two children, Rabia attributes the discrimination and racism she witnessed her Indian Muslim migrant father suffer in the mid 1970s, as well as being a child abuse survivor, to her passion for and commitment to justice, equality and inclusion.

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"The essence of the beautiful is unity in variety."

Felix Mendelssohn

CULTURAL TIMES | FEBRUARY 2021