Chapter 1
The Confession
The pandemic had turned everything upside down, including Carl’s freshman year. Stuck at home, he found his world confined to the tiny square boxes on his computer screen, connecting with people he’d never met in person. But amidst the isolation, something unexpected had happened: he’d met Tan.
Tan was everything Carl wasn’t energetic, outgoing, the life of any virtual meeting. He had an infectious laugh that seemed to fill the entire Zoom room, and a natural charm that made people want to be around him. They had met through an online school organization they’d both joined, and over time, their group of five friends Carl, Tan, Robin, Nicko, and Rickie became a regular part of their days.
Carl had always been shy, the quiet one in the background, content to let others take the lead. But somehow, Tan had made him feel seen. It started with late-night study sessions, just the two of them, after the group calls had ended. At first, it was about schoolwork, but then it turned into something more. Small talk became deeper conversations. Carl found himself looking forward to those one-on-one moments, more than he’d ever admit. And slowly, over weeks of shared moments and unspoken connections, he realized something: he was falling for his best friend.
He didn’t know what to do with the feeling. Carl had never felt this way about anyone before, let alone his closest friend. But the longer they talked, the more he couldn’t ignore it. Tan had this way of making Carl’s heart race with just a smile, his energy pulling Carl in without even trying. And it wasn’t just admiration anymore Carl wanted something more. Something he was too afraid to admit.
One night, after a particularly long study session, Carl found himself staring at the chat window, fingers hovering over the keyboard. His
Inching Closer
heart was pounding. He had no idea what he was doing, but there was something inside him that urged him to be honest. He needed to tell Tan.
Hey,Tan…I’vebeenmeaningtotellyousomething.It’salittle embarrassing,butIthinkIlikeyou.Morethanjustasafriend.Ididn’t wanttosayit,butIjustcan’tkeepittomyselfanymore.
He sat back, staring at the message, unsure whether he could actually send it. He had always been so careful with his words, so terrified of rejection. But now, here it was. His confession, laid bare. Before he could second-guess himself, Carl hit "send."
The seconds dragged on. No response. Carl’s heart thudded loudly in his chest, a growing sense of dread bubbling up in his stomach. Then, finally, Tan’s reply appeared:
Nothingchangesforme,whateverfloatsyourboat!Let’sjustnotletthe friendshiprevolvearoundthat.
Carl blinked at the message, his fingers frozen over the keys. He wasn’t sure how to feel. Tan’s response wasn’t what he had expected he thought there might be awkwardness, or worse, a direct rejection. But this? It felt… casual. Almost too casual. Tan didn’t sound upset, but he also didn’t sound like he understood the gravity of Carl’s confession. He wasn’t mad. He wasn’t angry. But he wasn’t reciprocating the feelings, either.
Carl’s throat tightened, and his initial relief began to sour. Nothing would change? Was that really possible? Could things go back to normal after this? Could he just… go back to pretending that everything was fine?
But Tan’s next message appeared, pulling Carl from his thoughts.
Justdon’tletitbeweirdbetweenus,alright?We’refriends.Let’skeepit thatway.
Carl’s heart sank, the message reading like a polite dismissal, though not intentionally cruel. Tan had brushed it off, making it sound like just another thing. Carl had expected a more serious response, maybe an apology for not feeling the same way, but instead, Tan seemed to be treating it like something to simply gloss over. He wasn’t angry. He wasn’t uncomfortable. He just didn’t feel the same.
Carl’s fingers shook as he typed out his response.
Yeah…Iunderstand.Thanksforbeingcoolaboutit.
He stared at the screen, unsure whether to send it or not. He felt stupid, embarrassed. His confession wasn’t met with anger, but with a disinterest he hadn’t been prepared for. He didn’t want things to be awkward, but how could they not be? He had put his feelings on the line, and now, he was left with a friendship that was no longer as simple as it once was.
Carl pressed send and closed the laptop, the silence in his room deafening. The weight of the conversation lingered like a heavy fog.
The next day, the group chat was alive with their usual banter. Robin had sent a meme, Nicko was talking about his latest gaming conquest, Rickie was complaining about schoolwork. But Carl couldn’t quite focus on the conversation. Every message felt distant, like he wasn’t part of it anymore. His mind kept drifting back to Tan’s words. Nothing changesforme,whateverfloatsyourboat.
Did nothing really change? Carl wasn’t so sure. How could things stay the same when he couldn’t stop thinking about Tan? Every word they exchanged now felt like it carried the weight of that confession, no matter how casually Tan had brushed it off.
Carl sighed and glanced over at Tan’s video feed. Tan was chatting with Rickie, his bright smile as infectious as ever. For a moment, Carl felt the familiar tug of affection. The way Tan laughed, the way his eyes sparkled when he was passionate about something it still made Carl’s chest ache. But Tan’s words echoed in his mind, and Carl knew, deep down, that things had changed. They couldn’t just go back to how it was. Not for Carl, at least.
Tan hadn’t rejected him outright, but he had set a boundary one that Carl wasn’t sure he could navigate without feeling a little heartbroken.
The conversation in the group chat carried on without him, but Carl couldn’t bring himself to engage. He wasn’t sure what to say, not now. He had put his feelings out there, and while Tan hadn’t pushed him away, he also hadn’t embraced them.
It wasn’t the rejection Carl had feared, but it still stung. It was a new kind of pain one that came from realizing that no matter how much he might care for Tan, his feelings weren’t enough to change anything.
Later that night, after the group chat had quieted down, Carl found himself alone in the Zoom call with Tan again. These moments had once been his favorite, but now, they felt like navigating uncharted waters.
Tan, seemingly at ease, started chatting about something trivial a game he was playing, a new hobby he wanted to try. Carl responded
here and there, but his heart wasn’t in it. He kept replaying Tan’s earlier words: Justdon’tletitbeweirdbetweenus.
“Hey,” Tan said after a lull in the conversation, his voice softer than before. “You sure you’re okay? You’ve been… different today.”
Carl hesitated, his thoughts swirling. This was his chance to pull back, to bury his feelings and pretend nothing had ever happened. But as he stared at Tan’s expectant face, he realized he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to lose what they had, but he couldn’t ignore how he felt, either.
“I’m figuring it out,” Carl admitted finally, his voice quiet but steady. “I meant what I said, Tan. But I know you don’t feel the same, and I respect that. I just… need some time.”
Tan’s expression shifted, a flicker of something maybe guilt, maybe understanding crossing his face. “Carl, I don’t want you to feel like you have to pull away. I care about you. A lot. I just… I’m not sure I can give you what you’re looking for.”
Carl managed a small smile, even as his chest tightened. “I get it. And I don’t want to lose our friendship. But I think, for now, I need to figure out how to be okay with things… as they are.”
Tan nodded, his gaze steady. “Take whatever time you need. I’ll be here.”
The weight in Carl’s chest lightened, just a little. It wasn’t the resolution he’d hoped for, but it was honest. For the first time since his confession, he felt like he was finally taking a step forward toward understanding himself, toward accepting the boundaries Tan had set.
As they said their goodbyes for the night, Carl closed his laptop with a deep breath. Things weren’t the same, but maybe that was okay. Change
Inching Closer
didn’t have to mean an ending it could mean growth, even if it hurt a little along the way.
Chapter 2 Something in Between
The day after his confession, Carl woke up with mixed emotions. He wasn’t sure where he and Tan stood, but Tan’s casual response had left the door open for their friendship to continue. Carl wasn’t ready to walk away from that.
Later that day, while working on his laptop, Carl came up with an idea. It was silly, but it felt like the kind of thing Tan would appreciate. He created a Google Form with just one question: “From1to100,whataremy chances?”The choices were a range from 1 to 100 no zeroes allowed.
Feeling bold, Carl sent the link to Tan. It didn’t take long for him to respond.
The answer? Zero.
Carl: “Zero wasn’t even in the choices!”
Tan: “I like to think outside the box.”
Carl shook his head, laughing despite himself. It was so like Tan to twist the rules in the most unexpected way. And just like that, the heaviness of the previous day eased a little.
Their late-night Zoom calls continued as if nothing had happened. They studied together most evenings, slipping into the comfort of their shared routines. Carl would be busy making his plates for his interior design classes, sketching layouts and meticulously applying colors to his concepts. Meanwhile, Tan would be hunched over his notes, furrowing his brow as he tackled problem sets for his math exams.
Sometimes, their conversations drifted to their struggles.
“Math isn’t mathing,” Tan groaned during one call, holding up a notebook full of equations. “How does this make sense to anyone?”
Carl glanced up from his sketchpad, smirking. “Says the guy who always aces his tests.”
Tan rolled his eyes but smiled anyway. “Okay, genius. Show me your plate progress. Let me judge it like I know what I’m talking about.”
Carl reluctantly angled his camera to show his work, a detailed plan for a minimalist café.
“Wow,” Tan said, genuinely impressed. “That’s... really good. Like, I’d actually want to go there.”
Carl felt his cheeks warm. “Thanks. It’s still rough, though.”
“It’s way better than rough. You’re crazy talented, Carl.”
Moments like that made Carl’s heart ache in the best way. But then Tan would add something like, “Love you, bro. You’re amazing,” and it would stop Carl in his tracks every time.
Tan saying “I love you” wasn’t unusual. It was friendly, casual, like something he said to everyone he cared about. But every time he said it to Carl, it made Carl think.
Did he mean it in the way Carl wanted him to? Did Tan even realize how much those words meant to Carl?
One night, as Tan signed off with a cheerful, “Alright, I’m out. Love you, Carl,”
Carl found himself staring at the screen long after the call ended, the words echoing in his mind.
He wanted to believe there was something more behind them. But he knew better.
Sometimes, Carl showed his affection in smaller ways. He sent food to Tan’s house through Foodpanda a little pick-me-up during their endless grind of schoolwork.
Tan: “Bro, you sent way too much food! My brothers are loving it, though. Thanks!”
Carl: “Good. It’s for all of you.”
Tan: “I’m taking the fries. Priority of the eldest.”
Inching Closer
Tan always made a point to share pictures of his brothers enjoying the food. Their smiles were as infectious as Tan’s, and it made Carl happy to know that, in some small way, he was part of Tan’s everyday life.
When Carl’s birthday rolled around, he hadn’t planned much. Between school and the pandemic, celebrating felt like too much effort. But Tan had other ideas.
At exactly midnight, Carl’s phone buzzed. Half-asleep, he opened the message.
Tan: “Happybirthday,Carl!ItoldyoubeforeIcan’timaginealifewithout you,andit’strue.”
Carl read the words twice, his chest tightening at the sentiment. It was just part of a longer message, but it was enough to make Carl’s heart swell.
The day passed quickly, filled with greetings from friends and family. Carl didn’t expect anything more from Tan, but that evening, another message arrived.
It was long, thoughtful, and ended with: “Iwillbehereforyoualways.”
Carl reread it, feeling a lump rise in his throat. Tan’s words were everything he needed to hear, even if they weren’t exactly what he wanted.
Their friendship carried on, steady and unshaken. Late at night, they continued to meet in their virtual space, working side by side. Carl found comfort in the rhythm of their Zoom calls the soft scratch of pencil on paper from his end, and the occasional frustrated muttering from Tan as he tackled his math problems.
Sometimes, the conversations turned serious, but more often than not, they were filled with playful teasing and laughter.
“Your café better have good coffee,” Tan teased one night.
Carl grinned. “If it does, you’re paying double for being a critic.”
“Deal. I’ll be your most annoying customer.”
Every so often, Tan would say, “Love you, Carl,” in his casual, friendly way. Carl would respond with a quiet “Love you too,” letting the words hang in the air, full of meanings that Tan might never realize.
Carl adjusted to the quiet ache of unrequited feelings, finding joy in the connection they still shared. Love didn’t have to change everything it could simply exist, unspoken, somewhere in between.
Chapter 3 Unfolding
Tan had always thought he had Carl figured out. Carl was quiet but strong, creative and thoughtful. He was the kind of person who made you feel special without even trying. But over time, something inside Tan began to shift.
At first, it was subtle. Tan noticed how much he looked forward to their Zoom calls, how Carl’s voice had a way of grounding him even on the most chaotic days. He found himself replaying moments in his head Carl’s shy laugh, the way his eyes lit up when he talked about his design projects.
It wasn’t until Carl’s birthday that the realization hit. Writing those messages, especially the one that ended with “Iwillbehereforyoualways,”had stirred something deeper. Tan hadn’t expected to feel so emotional typing those words, but they had come from a place he hadn’t dared explore before.
He loved Carl.
Not just as a friend, but in a way that made his heart ache and soar all at once.
Tan wrestled with his feelings for weeks. He wasn’t just scared of what it meant for their friendship he was scared of what it meant for him. Growing up in a conservative province with a father who had always been vocal about his homophobic beliefs, Tan had never considered the possibility of loving another man.
But this was different. Carl was different.
Tan tried to rationalize it, convincing himself it was just admiration or deep friendship. But the more he tried to deny it, the more he knew it wasn’t true. Every time Carl sent food to his house or stayed up late just to keep him company during his study sessions, Tan felt it.
It was love, pure and undeniable. And it terrified him.
One night, after a particularly tough day, Tan found himself staring at his reflection in his laptop screen during their Zoom call. Carl was busy sketching, his brow furrowed in concentration.
“Carl,” Tan said softly, cutting through the silence.
Carl looked up, his pencil pausing mid-stroke. “Yeah?”
Tan hesitated, his heart pounding. He could feel the weight of the moment pressing down on him, but something about the way Carl looked at him calm, expectant, patient gave him the courage he needed.
“I need to tell you something,” Tan began, his voice trembling slightly.
Carl tilted his head, curious. “What’s up?”
Tan took a deep breath, his hands fidgeting in his lap. “I think… No, I know. I love you, Carl. And not just as a friend. I mean, I love you in a way that scares me because it’s new, and I’ve never felt this way about another guy before.”
Carl froze, his pencil slipping from his fingers. His eyes widened, his mouth opening as if to speak, but no words came out.
Tan pressed on, his voice steadying as he poured his heart out. “I’ve been trying to fight it because… well, because of how I was raised, and because my dad’s not exactly the most open-minded person. But none of that matters when it comes to you. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone, and I just… I needed you to know.”
The silence stretched between them, heavy and electric. Carl’s face softened, his lips curving into a disbelieving smile.
“Tan,” Carl finally managed, his voice shaky, “I… I don’t even know what to say.”
“Just tell me how you feel,” Tan said, his heart in his throat.
Carl laughed, a sound of pure relief and joy. “I love you too. I’ve loved you for so long, I just… I never thought you’d feel the same.”
Tan grinned, his whole body relaxing. “Well, I do. And I’m sorry it took me so long to figure it out.”
From that moment on, everything between them changed but in the best way possible.
Their calls became longer, filled with laughter, teasing, and moments of sweet vulnerability. Neither of them wanted to hang up at night, leading to playful battles over who would end the call.
“You hang up first,” Carl would say.
“No, you hang up first,” Tan would counter, grinning.
“Fine,” Carl would relent, only to pause before clicking. “Wait. Goodnight, Tan.”
“Goodnight, Carl,” Tan would reply, his voice warm.
And the cycle would repeat until one of them finally gave in, always with a smile.
One evening, Tan surprised Carl by singing for him.
“Got a request?”
Carl shrugged, feeling a little shy. “Anything you like.”
Tan smiled, launching into “Ako Naman Muna.” His voice was raw and emotional, every word resonating with Carl. The song’s message about selfcare and inner strength hit Carl deeply, especially after the long and exhausting day he’d had.
When Tan finished, Carl wiped at his eyes, pretending it was nothing. “That was… perfect. Thank you.”
Tan also felt warmth in his heart.
Even as they reveled in their new relationship, the pandemic’s restrictions still kept them apart physically. But as news of easing restrictions began to circulate, they couldn’t help but imagine the day they’d finally meet in person.
“I’m going to hug you so tight, you won’t be able to breathe,” Tan teased during one call.
Carl laughed. “Just make sure you’re ready for it. I might not let go.”
“I’m counting on it,” Tan said, his voice laced with affection.
And for the first time, the future felt brighter than ever.
Chapter 4 An Unforgettable Night
One random night, a night that began like so many others, with Carl bent over his plates and Tan solving math problems, their familiar banter filling the gaps between the scratching of pencils and the occasional sigh of frustration. But tonight, there was something different in the air an electricity neither of them could explain.
“You’ve been staring at that one spot for like ten minutes,” Tan teased, smirking at his camera. “What’s the matter? Lost your touch?”
Carl rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair. “Maybe I’m just waiting for you to solve that equation before I finish this.”
Tan laughed. “Touché. But trust me, I’ve got this.” He scribbled something in his notebook, then held it up to the camera. “See? Genius at work.”
Carl shook his head, grinning. “Show-off.”
Their teasing escalated, as it always did, the laughter growing softer and the words turning bolder. Tan leaned closer to his camera at one point, his expression shifting to a mock-seriousness. “Admit it, you’d miss me if I didn’t bother you.”
Carl raised an eyebrow, feigning disinterest. “Who said I’d miss you? You think too highly of yourself.”
“Liar,” Tan shot back with a grin, leaning back. “I know you would.”
The playful energy between them shifted, the teasing dipping into something more daring, more vulnerable. Carl tilted his head, studying Tan’s expression through the screen. “What if I said you were right?”
Tan blinked, caught off guard for a moment before recovering. “Then I’d say you should tell me more often.”
It was Carl who broke the silence first, sending a photo of his workspace a messy desk covered with pencils and sketches. The caption read: “Proofofhow muchyoudistractme.”
Inching Closer
Tan laughed, pulling out his phone to reply. His response was a snapshot of his notebook, filled with neat calculations, captioned: “ProofthatI’mstill productivedespiteyou.”
The photos became a game, each one pushing the boundaries of their comfort while keeping the mood light. Carl sent another, this time a candid shot of his tired but smiling face with a playful caption: “Don’tsayIdon’tworkhard.”
Tan responded with a similar photo, his grin mischievous. “Don’tsayI’mnot handsome.”
The teasing continued, each picture a little more personal, a little more daring. They weren’t crossing any lines outright, but the energy between them was palpable, like they were dancing on the edge of something unspoken.
At some point, Carl hesitated, his heart pounding as he typed his next message: “WhatwouldyoudoifIreallypushedyourbuttons?”
Tan’s reply came almost instantly, the words making Carl’s breath catch. “I’d pushback.”
The exchange grew quieter, the teasing taking on a charged undertone neither of them fully acknowledged. They were sharing something vulnerable, something that spoke to the trust they had built over countless late-night calls.
When the conversation finally ebbed, both of them sat in silence, the weight of the night settling around them.
“You know,” Tan said softly, his voice cutting through the quiet, “you’re kind of my favorite person to talk to.”
Carl blinked, caught off guard. “Is that so?”
“Yeah.” Tan’s grin softened into something more genuine. “Just don’t let it go to your head.”
Carl laughed, the tension easing just enough. “No promises.”
As they ended the call after their usual playful argument over who would hang up first Carl sat back in his chair, his mind spinning. He couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment the teasing had shifted into something deeper, but he knew it had.
And somehow, even as he closed his laptop, he knew the tension didn’t just end there. So they continued talking through chat. Their conversation earlier felt like it was leading to something, and to his surprise, Tan also thought the same.
It started with selfies, photos of their necks, voice messages of their deep breaths, things that they didn’t even think they could send to each other.
One thing led to another, they found themselves carried away with everything.
“Ayan tuloy I spilled conditioner all over my body.” Tan jokingly said after a few exchanges.
But it didn’t end there, because they continued talking, Tan also couldn’t stop doing what he just finished doing. Now even sending videos that would tease Carl.
Some details would not be appropriate for this story, so events that happened after those videos will remain theirs alone a moment of trust and connection neither of them would forget.
Chapter 5 Oceans Crossed
Carl and Tan had been counting down the days for weeks. The easing of pandemic restrictions in the Philippines finally gave them the opportunity to see each other in person. After everything the late-night calls, the shared moments, and the confession they had planned this trip meticulously. But, of course, things didn’t go as smoothly as they had hoped.
At the Batangas port, Carl’s heart nearly stopped when the officer at the counter gave him a frown.
“Sir, you’re missing a document.”
Carl blinked, stunned. “What? I checked everything!” He felt the blood drain from his face as panic set in.
The officer shook their head. “You need this clearance to board the ferry. Without it, we can’t let you through.”
Carl’s chest tightened. All their plans Tan waiting on the other side, the weekend they’d dreamed about it couldn’t end here. Determined, he sprinted to the nearest office, explaining his situation to anyone who would listen. After what felt like an eternity of pleading and rushing between counters, someone finally helped him sort out the missing paperwork.
By the time he was on the ferry, Carl was both exhausted and relieved. He texted Tan: “Almostthere.Beready.”
As the ferry approached the shores of Mindoro, Carl leaned against the railing, the salty breeze whipping through his hair. His heart pounded in anticipation. He spotted Tan almost immediately when the ferry docked, standing at the edge of the port with a big grin on his face.
Carl’s phone buzzed with a new message from the group chat. Robin had sent a screenshot of their Zoom call. All their friends Robin, Rickie, and Nicko were watching live.
“Are you two about to hug it out? We want front-row seats!” Rickie teased.
Robin replied, “I’ve got ‘Happiest Year’ queued up. Don’t ruin this for me.”
Carl smiled nervously as he stepped off the ferry. Tan’s grin grew wider, and suddenly he was running, his arms open wide.
“CARL!”
Carl dropped his bag just in time to catch Tan in a tight hug, the momentum almost knocking him over. For a moment, it was just them, wrapped in each other’s arms, all the time and distance melting away.
Robin’s voice crackled through the phone. “Oh my gosh, they’re hugging! I’m taking a screenshot don’t move!”
Rickie added, “Group chat goals!”
Tan pulled back slightly, just enough to look Carl in the eyes, his hands still on Carl’s shoulders. “You’re actually here,” he said softly, almost in disbelief.
“I told you I’d make it,” Carl replied, smiling.
The van ride from Calapan to Puerto Galera was quiet, with just Carl and Tan as the only passengers. They sat close, their arms brushing now and then. The familiarity of being together in person felt surreal.
Tan glanced at Carl, his expression playful. “So… do you think we should, uh, seal this with a kiss?”
Carl turned to him, caught off guard. “Here? In the van?”
“No one else is here,” Tan pointed out, leaning slightly closer.
Carl’s breath hitched as Tan tilted his head, their faces mere inches apart. But just as their lips were about to meet, the van hit a bump, jolting them apart. They both burst into laughter, the awkwardness making the moment even more endearing.
“Okay, okay,” Tan said, still chuckling. “Third time’s the charm?”
Inching Closer
Carl nodded, his smile softening. “Third time’s the charm.”
When they leaned in again, it finally happened. Their lips met in a kiss that was tender and unhurried, a perfect culmination of everything they’d waited for.
When they arrived at their hotel that night, they mixed drinks with whatever they could find: GSM Mojito, dalandan juice, Gatorade blue, and Sprite.
“This is either going to be amazing or awful,” Carl said, eyeing the concoction suspiciously.
“Only one way to find out,” Tan said, raising his glass. “Cheers to us!”
The drinks tasted surprisingly decent, and as they talked late into the night, Tan turned serious.
“So, about us,” he said, setting his glass down. “We’ve been waiting for this, right? To make it official?”
Carl smiled. They’d already chosen the date January 21, 2021. 1-21-21. A palindrome. The 21st day of the 21st year in the 21st century.
“Let’s make it official,” Carl said.
Tan grinned, pulling Carl into a hug. “Officially yours, then.”
Carl laughed. “And officially mine.”
It was a perfect night, one they’d remember forever.
The next few days were a blur of laughter, exploration, and quiet moments. They visited Muelle Bay, gazing at the calm waters as fishing boats swayed gently in the distance. At Tamaraw Falls, they stood in awe of the cascading water, snapping selfies with matching grins.
But Carl’s favorite moment came at White Beach. They arrived to find it nearly empty, the pandemic still keeping most tourists away. For a while, it
Closer
was just them, the sound of waves crashing against the shore and the setting sun casting everything in a golden glow.
A lone vendor, an elderly woman, approached them with handmade bracelets. “Please,” she said softly. “Nobody’s buying these days.”
Tan immediately bought one, slipping it onto his wrist before handing her a few extra bills. “Keep the change, Lola,” he said with a smile.
Carl watched, his chest swelling with affection.
As they walked along the shore, their fingers brushed, and Tan slipped his hand into Carl’s. “You know,” Tan said, his voice quiet, “I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy.”
Carl smiled, squeezing his hand. “Me neither.”
For the first time in a long time, everything felt right.
Chapter 6
The Ride of Their Life
The days Carl spent in Tan’s hometown were nothing short of perfect. After their magical time together in Puerto Galera, it felt like the world had paused just for them. Tan had taken Carl around his hometown in Calapan, showing him places that held meaning to him his old elementary school, high school, and the familiar haunts where he had spent countless hours growing up. They rode around on Tan’s motorcycle, Carl holding on tight as the wind whipped past them, feeling as if nothing else in the world mattered but the two of them. They stopped for a quick bite at McDonald’s, just the two of them, savoring the simplicity of it all.
Carl was soaking it all in, marveling at how effortlessly Tan moved through his world, and how he, too, had found a place in it.
But when they got back to Tan’s house, Carl’s parents had called. An issue in their student council had somehow escalated, and Carl was ordered to return to Quezon City immediately.
He tried to push the thought away. He didn’t want to leave. Not now. Not when everything had just begun to feel right.
Tan, who had been quietly watching the situation unfold, gently took Carl’s hand. "What happened?" he asked, his voice filled with concern.
Carl sighed, his heart heavy. "I have to go. My parents... they need me back home. They said I have to leave tomorrow."
Tan’s face fell, his lips parting as if he had been struck speechless. "But... we were having the best time..." His voice trailed off, not knowing what else to say.
Carl swallowed hard, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill. "I don’t want to go," he whispered. "But I... I can’t disobey them. I have no choice."
The rest of the night passed in a daze. They didn’t know how to fill the silence between them. The clock ticked closer to dawn, but neither of them had the strength to go to bed, knowing what would come the next morning. Instead,
they talked about everything, about nothing until they couldn’t keep their eyes open any longer.
The next morning, it was no longer just a conversation about leaving. It was the beginning of their goodbye.
Tan didn’t take Carl to the port on his motorcycle like they’d done last night. Instead, they rode a tricycle, the air still and quiet in the early hours of the morning.
When they arrived at the port, the weight of the moment seemed unbearable. Carl stood there, his bags in hand, the reality of the situation settling in. Tan looked at him, his eyes full of emotion, and Carl knew that this was it. This was the moment they would say goodbye for now.
Tan hugged Carl tightly, as if trying to hold onto him, not wanting to let go. "I’ll wait for you," Tan said, his voice trembling. "I promise, I’ll wait. We’ll see each other again, okay?"
Carl nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Instead, he held Tan tighter, wishing with every fiber of his being that he could stay. But the ferry was already waiting, and their time together had run out.
Carl turned to board the ferry, his steps heavy as he made his way through the terminal. He didn’t look back, afraid that if he did, he wouldn’t be able to leave. He could feel Tan’s gaze on him, and it made the ache in his chest all the worse.
Once on the ferry, Carl sent Tan a message with a photo of his empty seat. “I missyoualready,”he typed, his hands shaking.
Tan, who had been standing at the port, staring at the place where Carl had been, wiped his eyes and went home. He asked his best friend Alanna, "Let’s go get something to eat," he said quietly, his voice cracking. "Maybe McDonald's?"
Inching Closer
Alanna nodded, sensing the pain in Tan’s voice. They made their way to the same McDonald's, the same booth where Carl and Tan had shared their last meal together. Tan sat in the same seat, staring at the empty space across from him. The absence of Carl felt like a hole in his chest.
As they ate, Tan stared at the photo Carl had sent. He missed him more than he could put into words. But even as the tears welled up in his eyes, Tan knew one thing for sure: that this was just the beginning. They were inching closer to a future where they didn’t have to hide. A future where they could finally be themselves, together.
The ferry sailed onward, and so did their hopes, carried on the currents of time.
Inching closer, even when apart.