The Teenage Girl Guide

Table of contents

Chapter 1: Health and well being Chapter 2: Make-up and Self-care Chapter 3: Proper behavior and education Chapter 4: Hobbies and Entertainment Chapter5: Self- reflection

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pg. 4 pg. 20 pg. 32 pg. 44 pg. 58

The teenage girl guides A book on teenage exploration and self-love!

Hi! I hope this book finds you in excellent health. I was incredibly excited about writing this book because I felt like I needed t spread the knowledge I own, from all the experiences I went through, the advice I have heard, and the many books I have read about being a girl, its responsibilities, its perks, its downsides and more. I wanted to spread all my knowledge to someone I hope will appreciate what I have to offer.

In this book, we will discuss makeup, the rights and wrongs, the good and the bad, and more. We will talk about the physical, mental, social, and emotional health. We will discuss self-care from all aspects. We will even talk about manners, socialization, proper behavior, entertainment, hobbies, and more!

The main goal is to make you feel empowered, confident, and more comfortable in your own body as a young female. I believe that a little more information learned about yourself and some simple advice from people who have gone through the same everyday experiences girls this generation and you go through can help you along the way. Enjoy!

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Chapter l Health and Wellbeing

What are health and well-being? In a broad definition, health and well-being are considered to be the achievement and maintenance of physical fitness and mental stability. But what many people don’t know is the many aspects and parts that health has. Well-being has six different elements; physical well-being, emotional, social, spiritual, mental, and financial. This chapter will discuss only four types: physical, mental, emotional, and social.

Part 1 Physical health 4

When hearing physical health, the first thing you probably think of is exercising and working out. But physical health can be determined by many things, such as regular exercise, a balanced diet, cutting down smoking, alcohol and drug use, and proper sleep.

These days so many gyms are open that you often feel overwhelmed and stressed when choosing your local gym. Usually, people end up not choosing one at all and not even bothering to work out at home. Although people have decreased their use of going to the gym, people give up on physical health. Yet, there are still many ways a person can always find engaging ways to stay in shape while at home.

Many videos on YouTube show outstanding workout routines, starting from yoga, cardio, hitt, body attack, kickboxing, Zumba, aerobics, and more. I have used a couple of channels from YouTube to practice yoga, kickboxing, and cardio. My favorite channels have been Boho Beautiful for yoga, Chloe ting for cardio, and POPSUGAR fitness for kickboxing. Other sources I like to use for workouts are online classes. Many of these are currently available on websites like Udemy and masterclass. And the last way of working out from home can be from your drive and creating your routine and using workout items at home, such as weights.

Another crucial part of physical health is your diet. Working out without having a proper and healthy meal plan is not beneficial.

Healthy eating is my favorite part of physical fitness. You have so much control over what you put into your body, and you have endless possibilities of food. I always love experimenting with food recipes.

Especially if you are still a teenager having a proper nutrition is very 5

important. It is what helps you grow and give you a healthy body for now and the future. Balancing between protein, carbohydrates, fat, fiber, vitamins, mineral, and water can help you so much with your growth and help you keep your body under your control. Girls require an average of 900 to 2,200 calories each day. During the middle and late adolescence, girls eat roughly 25% fewer calories per day than boys do; consequently, they are more likely to be deficient in vitamins and minerals.

A paramount thing girls should remember when trying to lose weight is not looking at your total weight but looking at your measurements, hips, bust, stomach. This is a way more beneficial way of looking at your progress. Besides, our weight can make us insecure while our bones and height are causing the problem, and we can’t change that. So, focus on your figure and health rather than weight.

Anyhow, you can find many good recipes online; I like to watch a couple of different recipes to one dish then combine them all. There is also a bunch of information and great tips on Pinterest. I love making different smoothie bowls and small treats and snacks.

P.s, remember healthy foods can taste as good as junk food!

I know two people who gave birth to multiple children while being my current weight. When I say this to my friends, they ask why I don’t get insecure, well it isn’t because I don’t care about my body, but because I know the two women are shorter than me and are more petite generally, and I know that if I were to get to what they say was their average weight before kids I would look horrible, I would look sick in fact. Remember, your body is unique, like a fingerprint, so don’t compare it to other bodies, especially those on social media.

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Sleep is a MAJOR part of physical health that many teenagers neglect. I will admit I was one of those teenagers, but once learning how much sleep can affect you, I started treating my sleep schedule as one of my most important parts of my routine. Even though I sometimes stayed up late with friends or cousins, my average sleep schedule was never less than what my body needed. Let me pass on my wisdom.  Teens need about 8 to 10 hours of sleep each night to function best.  Not getting enough sleep causes you to overeat or eat unhealthy foods like sweets and fried foods that lead to weight gain.  Not getting enough sleep helps you forget important information.  Lack of sleep can contribute to acne and other skin problems, like acne.

Now that you know the importance of sleep and what the consequences of lack of it can do, I hope you take care of it and make sure you get that beauty sleep!

Remember, physical health is a great way to boost your self-esteem and make your body feel great, so get up from the couch and take care of your body!

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Part 2 Mental health Mental health is a struggle that most teenagers go through these days. But what is it? By a dictionary definition, it’s a general state of emotional and psychological well-being, as manifest by the ability to cope with and meet everyday life demands. And to be honest, I find that pretty precise. Social media have heavily increased the number of mental health problems in teenagers; teenage girls are losing their confidence even when they look as good as the people they follow on social media. I have learned never to believe the looks and bodies portrayed on social media, even if the influencers don’t photoshop or face tune, remember there is a thing called angles, for example; having your legs to the front and your body to the left of right direction can make it seem as if you have a flat stomach, and having one leg in front of the other while standing can make it look like you have a bigger butt. So, nothing on social media is real, and we know that, but our brains don’t accept that fact. Instead, they use social media to bring you down.

A social media cleanse is extremely important to do. For me, I have a two-day social media cleanse every month. You can go two or more whole days with zero electronic use or use it for ten minutes a day. It is entirely up to you and your abilities. But I find it a very empowering and crucial part of my life. I feel lighter every time I go through it; I get reminded that I am doing enough, I am enough, and I always was; I just forgot. Don’t get me wrong, this was easier said 8

than done, but you can slowly manage the time between you and your phone.

Depression, anxiety, anger, BDD (body dysmorphic disorder ), and dissociation are only some of the mental health issues that affect teens. You may even have one of these without even knowing it. I struggle with anxiety, I haven’t been open about it much, I don’t want to accept that I do, I went a year without telling anyone, and I would go through panic attacks alone. But finally, my mom said to me that I need to say to my friends so that if anything ever happens, they are there to help or call help. Telling my closest friends was the best thing I did; whenever I started to feel one coming along, they were always with me, and I didn’t have to pretend I needed to get something anymore; I just talked to them, distracted myself from my situation, never letting it grow and overtake me. I am still iffy about telling people about it, but I felt like I needed to tell all my readers that it is okay to feel not okay. And it would help if you remembered your battles are valid. They are your battles. No one can invalidate that.

Don’t self-diagnose!!!! This is a trend now!!! It’s inappropriate to say to stage 4 people with cancer that you think you have cancer because you have some symptoms.

On a bad mental health day, I’m usually lazy, moody, and tired.

But I try to force myself to get up and take care of my mind. I put my phone away, head for a hot shower, put on a face mask, turn on a candle, my favorite music, and take care of myself. I usually do something I love, like reading, painting, drawing, embroidering, or sitting outside, whether to admire the view or do yoga. Even socializing with your loved ones can be beneficial. At first, I dread 9

getting out of bed, but you force yourself to do one thing and start it all links together.

Taking care of your brain is just as important as taking care of your body. So remember to push yourself and recognize you aren’t alone.

Without your beautiful mind, your body won’t be able to take care of itself. Self-love is a journey every teenager should experience. There are many dos and don’ts in mental health; let’s mention some;  Do talk about your feelings.  Don’t bottle up your emotions.  Do/ try to keep active.  Don’t be a couch potato.  Do ask for help when needed.  Don’t think you can handle it on your own.  Do take a break.  don’t overwork yourself.  Do smile even when not feeling like it.  don’t have a frown all day long.  Do check with a doctor if you think you have a mental disorder.

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 Don’t self-diagnose.  Do take care of yourself.  Don’t let yourself go.

Self-love. A feeling every teen should feel. It’s wonderful. But for a person to love themselves when they don’t in the first place, they need to go through some steps to reach the level of self-love. Self-love is vital to a healthy life. It influences who you decide as your mate/romantic partner, it affects your image at school, how you cope with your problems and issues that come up in your life. perceive But what is self-love? Is it something you can manually get, such as a beauty makeover or some new clothes? Is it reading something motivating and inspirational? Or is it a healthy friendship? Well, the answer to all of these questions is NO. Even though they feel good at the time, it isn’t a long-term solution. Self-love grows through different types of activities.

Self-love isn’t just a happy state. It’s the appreciation to yourself that you grow from actions that support your spiritual, physical, mental, and phycological growth. Self-love grows through actions that humble and mature us. We accept our weaknesses and focus more on our strengths.

In my opinion, there are six steps to self-love: 1. Set boundaries

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Set limits to work, love, social events, social media, and all this will help you appreciate yourself and all that you do. Never overwork yourself for either your needs or others. Take a break.

2. Constant self-care Take the time a couple of days a week to take care of yourself, clean yourself up, be mindful by reading a book, thinking about your life, etc. Take care of your basic needs, such as nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, and healthy social events or interactions.

3. Be unbothered Being unbothered is one of the most critical steps to self-love.

People’s opinions can seriously take a toll on you. This step, I’ll admit, is easier said than done. But taking a break from social media, I know I mention it a lot, but it truly helps. And remember, people are entitled to their opinions, and so are you.

4. Become mindful People with self-love tend to know more about themselves and what they want, what they think, feel, and desire in life. They act on this knowledge, rather than what others want for them.

5. Protect yourself Bring in the right people into your life, and take toxic people out of your life. Realize who wants good and who wants bad for you. It can sometimes be friends and can even be family. Get rid of the people who feel happy with your losses, and if you can’t altogether avoid 12

them and slowly walk away from the relationship. Don’t waste your time on people who don’t support you. Once that is done, you will realize all the critiques have decreased, and your love for yourself will increase.

6. Forgive yourself We teens tend to be too hard on ourselves and punishing ourselves for our actions. We have to accept that we are human, and we have to make mistakes to learn and grow. We have to admit that we aren’t perfect. Be less rigid on yourself when you mess up. Remember that you will come out of the situation more robust, smarter, and will have learned a lesson.

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Part 3 Emotional health Technically what is emotional well-being? It is the ability to manage our feelings – both the pleasant and unpleasant ones – so they do not impact our life negatively.

Emotional well-being can be connected to creativity, productivity, good health, and effective learning. When we have suitable physical health and emotional well-being, we feel safe, stable, and content. Most of us experience well-being when we achieve things we want in essential parts of our lives, including relationships, friendships, school, college, physical health, financial health, and spiritual health.

Mental health influences your thoughts and actions, and it covers three main types of well-being:  Psychological  Social 14

 Emotional The status of your mental health can affect many different areas of your life, from your ability to manage stress to how well you maintain your relationships with others. Emotional health is having both an awareness of your emotions and managing and healthily expressing those feelings.

Emotional well-being isn’t experiencing only pleasing, happy, exciting, and loving feelings. It also is feeling unpleasing emotions like anger, loneliness, sadness, fear, and worry. This is 100% normal and an important part of emotional health.

When feeling pleasurable feelings, it isn’t something that we give much thought we enjoy the feeling while it lasts. It is the unpleasant emotions that are hard to deal with. Thankfully, these feelings usually don’t last long, and most of us learn to deal with such feelings. But there are also times when these nasty feelings stay a while, and sometimes they either get better or worse with time.

We sometimes can’t stop thinking about the negatives and keep repeating those unpleasant thoughts on a loop. This eventually causes our negative emotions to turn to negative actions. I will admit I am guilty of this, but I always try to have an outlet for my feelings, so I don’t make a wrong decision. I can talk to friends or family, or if I don’t want to talk to anyone about it, I write down my feelings and thoughts. You have probably heard of this strategy a lot in movies and tv shows, but trust me, it works. I have dedicated an entire notebook to being my “feelings journal”. I write in it when I’m mad, sad, lonely, annoyed, confused, or even happy. Sometimes I feel like I still didn’t speak my mind, so I try different methods. Such as: 15

 Praying to god  Talking to myself  Crying on my bed  Boxing  Yoga  Just taking a break and napping There are many more methods you could follow and find online.

But remember your way of coping is up to you; it doesn’t have to be something significant or something that contains effort. My best advice is not to shove your feelings down and remember tour battle is valid and that there are people around the world feeling what you feel.

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Part 4 Social health The final part of this chapter is social health. So, what is it? Social health is your capability to form essential relationships with others and interact in well and positive ways. The way you get along with the people around you, adjust to various social interactions, and experience a feeling that you contribute to your social health.

Social health is crucial because having meaningful relationships with others can significantly decrease stress and give you a sense that you are secure and safe, promoting good emotional health.

Social health affects both your emotional and physical health. So, you can realize how important it is to keep having social interactions.

Social health can affect your total well-being.

In our generation, many people with social anxiety. Social anxiety is an intense fear of being watched or judged by other people. This can affect you in school, parties, and other social events. It can also 17

impact friendships. And no, social anxiety is not being shy. It is more than that. It is the fear that the teacher picks you in class even when you know the answer. It is not being able to walk around alone for fear of people thinking you are lonely. It is hating going somewhere where you have to meet new people. It is an intense feeling; it is a disorder.

If you think you have social anxiety or any other disorder, don’t self-diagnose yourself, but get a check-up with a doctor.

How can you improve your social interactions? Well, I will mention some tips that can give you a little boost.  Focus on quality and not quantity. It doesn’t matter how many friends you have. It matters how many positive and close relationships you have.  Be yourself. Don’t try to change who you are; eventually, you will get tired and exhausted from the act. Be proud of what you have to offer.  Start small. If social events make you nervous, practice them with people you already know.  Find people who love the same things you do. Striking conversations can come up when you and the other person have something in common.

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Chapter 2 Make- up & Self- care Makeup and self-care, I feel, are two aspects every girl care about. Personally, from what I have seen, they are. They are fun ways of experimenting and learning about makeup and taking care of yourself and your skin using different products. I put these two things in one chapter because I believe they are both linked, so I wanted to put them together. Here we will talk about makeup, what products to buy, what not to buy, tips and pointers, and self-care, we will discuss skin-care, hair-care, and body-care.

Part 1 Make-up 21

Makeup, you either love it or hate it. I find makeup another unique outlet to your emotions; I find it a whole different spectrum of art. I started to get into makeup last year, and let me tell you from now, I was terrible. I had no one who loved to experiment with different makeup looks and try to do diverse and exciting makeup, while everyone around me did their everyday makeup and stuck to it for years. I did not want that. I wanted to feel excited about the outcome every time I did my makeup. I wished I had someone to give me tips or pointers on what products to buy, what not to buy, what to do while applying makeup, and what to avoid. The internet was there to help me, that is for sure, but here I will give you all the information I got and sum it up. So, I will tell you all the tips I wished I had when starting doing my makeup. (You can use these pointers whether you want to do spontaneous looks or simple, natural looks.)

Let's start with the basics of makeup. If you don't apply makeup and want to get into it, you will only need four products to accomplish a simple everyday, natural look. These four products are: 1- Concealer When buying, make sure you get the perfect shade, or your face will look patchy because of the different tones on your face.

Concealer will cover your blemishes and under eyes.

2- Blush Blush can be used as a 2 in 1, as a standard blush used on your cheeks and nose to emphasize your features, and as an eyeshadow. I used to do this so much before. I still do it 22

sometimes. Trust me, it will look so good, and it'll give you a cute, girly look.

3- Mascara No need to explain; use any mascara on your lashes, and your whole face will look so different and awake.

4- Lip-gloss/lipstick When looking for a simpler look, put on gloss. When looking for a bit of more excitement, put on lipstick. When looking for both, put on both! Personally, lip-gloss is a staple in my makeup bag.

These four products will change your game! I promise you they will be a worth it purchase.

Some of the products I like to use and are affordable and perfect for everyday looks are:  Kiko  Essence  Wet 'n' wild  Glossier  Maybelline 23

 NYX  BH cosmetics  Rimmel  Revolution When you are ready to experiment with makeup, it would be a good idea to look for flattering, natural shades in a powder finish to highlight your eyes' color.  If you have brown eyes, the most flattering natural shades are golden brown and olive green.  If you have Hazel eyes, the most flattering natural shades are grey, pink, or mauve.  The most flattering natural shades are gold, peachy shades, or lilac if you have blue or green eyes.

The brands mentioned above will have many of these shades in a great formula for you to use and enjoy.

Next, let's talk about lashes. A slick of mascara is the best way to create a fluttering fringe to your pretty eyes.

1- Start by applying mascara to your upper lashes first. Brush them downwards first, then brush the lashes upwards from underneath. (trust me). Use a tiny zig-zag movement to ensure 24

that the mascara will cover all your lashes and remove any clumps that may have formed.

2- Use the tip of the mascara wand for your lower lashes and move it gently from side to side. Then comb through your lashes to remove any clumps.

One of the best everyday natural mascaras is the Glossier mascara, and one of the best extra mascaras for spontaneous nights is Better Than Sex mascara by Too Faced.

When doing makeup, having clean brushes is always a must.

Washing them regularly will keep them clean and your skin and face healthy. To clean a brush is such a simple process; all you need to do is: 1- Squirt a little shampoo into a cup and add warm water.

2- Swish the brushes in the water, to dissolve the dirt, then rinse.

3- Squeeze the brushes with your fingers to remove excess moisture, then leave them to dry on a towel.

Easy peasy.

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Part 2 Self – Care Self-care is something every teenage girl needs to look out for.

Self-care will shape your future looks, your confidence, and your selfesteem. Every once in a while, do masks, hair masks, face masks, under-eye masks, hand masks, etc.… light a few candles and read a book, take a break from the outside world. Reflect a little.

Hair- care Hair-care is a crucial part of a girl's self – care. Hair can make or break your day. When I get a bad hair day, I know for me that my whole day is flipped, and my mood is terrible.

Shampooing and conditioning your hair correctly makes a huge difference to what your hair will end up looking like. I will give you a set of steps that'll ensure the proper wash for your hair. Obviously, this may not work for everyone, but I came across if it works for most.

For shampooing, first, dampen your hair with running Lukewarm water. Use about a handful of shampoo for long hair and decrease the amount depending on the hair length. Next, lather your hair and rub it a couple of times with your fingertips. Then rinse and repeat.

As for conditioning, use a handful of conditioners for long hair and decrease the amount as your hair shortens. If you have tangled 27

hair, apply conditioner to a wide-toothed comb and brush it through your hair. Let the conditioner sit on your hair for one to three minutes, then rinse. And finally, use an oversized t-shirt instead of a towel to avoid frizz.

If your hair is looking dull and dirty, then it's time to take action and get it back to healthy and shiny. I will share all the methods I use, and some of my friends have recommended it.

1- Be a water baby: Even though it clichĂŠ, it's true. Drink a lot of water as it can brighten not only your hair but also your skin.

2- Shampoo dry hair: If your hair is extra dirty, apply shampoo right on your dry hair, let your hair absorb the shampoo for a couple of minutes then rinse with water.

3- Make sure to rinse: before getting out of the shower, make sure no shampoo or conditioner is sitting on your hair because if they are still sitting on your hair, it will make your hair look drab and dull again.

4- Brush, brush, brush your hair once or twice a day to ensure that all the dead skin and built-up dirt are removed. Also, make sure to wash your hair brushed every while.

Hopefully, these tips will make you and your hair have a healthy and loving relationship!

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Skin Care

Skin-care is one of my favorite forms of self-care; so many products, so many treatments, lavishments. Home-made skin-care, or store-bought skin-care, it's fun, it's exciting to see your skin get better, healthier, and start to glow.

Speaking of glowing, your young skin has a natural glow, but sometimes it gets dulled down. To get the natural glow back, you need a natural process. Just four re-occurring steps will bring back that vibrant glow to your face. First, don't stay too long in a hot bath or shower. I know it's hard and difficult, but your skin will thank you.

Even though we think that steaming – hot showers are good for us, they actually draw all of the moisture out of your skin, which will result in dry skin. Next, get some sleeeeeeep. With a good night's sleep, you will look fresh, radiant, and have bag-free eyes. If you still can't get rid of the puffy eyes, put a clean spoon in some ice water for a few minutes or let it sit in the freezer for a couple of hours, then hold the spoon against your closed eyes until they feel calmer and brighter. Anyways the next step is to work out and get sweaty. By sweating, your body will eliminate nasty impurities that can clog your pores (clogged pores make your pores look more prominent, so take care). Finally, eat fabulous food. Eat foods full of vitamins to help your skin, such as tomatoes, oranges and citrus, carrots, broccoli, melon or cantaloupe, and spinach. Also, eat fish every once in a while, even if it's salmon or tuna; this'll give your skin a natural boost.

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Now I know all the points I mentioned are clichĂŠ and always talked about, but they work, and they require minimum effort.

Besides, after a few times, it'll become a habit; it won't feel like a chore, so trust the process and keep moving.

Note: - Scientists believe that garlic will lengthen your cell's life pa, so make sure to ask your parents to include it in a few meals every week or two. (This shouldn't be too hard if you are Arab, lol).

Acne. A dedicated party pooper. Comes out of nowhere and ruins your mood. Even though acne is normal, we have difficulty accepting it as we don't see it much on the media. But believe me, even the most super of supermodels sometimes get spots. However, with little tricks and tips, these pimples can leave faster and seamlessly.

How to cure a pimple: Note: NEVER EVER squeeze a spot. You will only do more damage as it will look redder and more inflamed. And you can even risk an infection deeper into your skin, and it may leave a scar permanently on your face.

1- Wash your face thoroughly with your cleanser and then pat (don't rub) your skin dry. Some of the best cleansers I recommend are Cetaphil, Cera- Ve, and Bioderma.

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2- Wrap an ice cube with either a tissue or a clean piece of fabric, and hold it over the pimple for a minute or two to keep the swelling down. OR Boil some hot water and dip a tissue or clean piece of fabric into the water, and dab it onto your pimple for a minute or two to help release the pus naturally. Use either method depending on your spot.

3- Dip a cotton bud into some spot treatment, either it being tea tree oil of any brand, or derma – T, or whatever, it will work ok.

Just apply that onto your pimple with a cotton bud.

4- Leave it alone and repeat daily till it's better.

If you have heavier acne, go to a dermatologist and make sure they subscribe you to some appropriate medication or treatment.

If you want to apply makeup, but applying foundation or concealer will make your acne look crusty and ugly, apply a thin layer of petroleum jelly (Vaseline) on your pimples and then apply the concealer/foundation. Make sure to use a clean and proper tool to blend and not your fingers.

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Chapter 3 Proper Behavior & Etiquette

The first trait most strangers catch is politeness and etiquette. Now in etiquette, we usually learn about how many forks to us, where to put the spoons on the table, chew with your mouth closed, o elbows on the table, use a napkin to wipe your mouth, and more. Even though this is correct, we already know it all. Instead, we will learn about proper replies when someone compliments you, making good impressions, praising others, and some necessary behavior each girl should know.

Part 1 How to make a good impression 33

First impressions usually last, so make sure to follow these pointers to help make everyone’s first thoughts of you the best they can be: 1- Remember to introduce yourself (and ask the other person’s name if someone is with you).

2- Make eye contact.

3- Smile and remember to speak clearly.

4- Be a good listener and pay attention to what the other person is saying.

5- Participate in the conversation ask about their hobbies and interests.

6- Don’t be afraid to show your personality.

7- Try to be confident.

Part 2 34

How to give and reply to compliments.

A crucial part of being a good friend/person is giving compliments and making people feel better about themselves. It’s essential to focus on others and not get too dragged in with yourself. Add an aura of niceness to your personality. You can complement anything, not just necessarily physical appearance. You can complement a mental trait, and talent, hobby, or even an object they own. Some generic examples could be:

1- ‘you have lovely hair. ‘ 2- ‘you are so good at sports’ 3- ‘I love your shirt. ‘ 4- ‘you have nice handwriting. ‘ 5- ‘you are so talented. ‘ 6- ‘you have elite style. ‘ 7- ‘you are so pretty. ‘ 8- ‘I admire your determination. ‘ 9- ‘I love how so well coordinated you are’

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ETC… These are just some examples to give you an idea. When giving all these compliments, I assure you that you’ll feel happy seeing those reactions and smiles. Remember the feeling of when someone compliments you. I know you would like to make someone feel the same. Moving on to accepting compliments. Even if you don’t believe it, it is vital to take compliments people give you. When not accepting a compliment, you feel embarrassed, but you also embarrass the compliment giver. It also is pretty rude to reject a compliment.

Because the person who complimented you was genuine, and questioning that comes off as harsh. If someone disagrees with my praise, I feel like I’m being snubbed– it feels as if my opinion doesn’t matter to the person I was complimenting. So, when someone compliments you, it is crucial to your acceptance. To help this process, try and follow these do’s and don’ts:

1- DO smile and say thank you.

2- DON’T frown, look down, or mumble.

3- DO be modest and humble.

4- DON’T say something like ‘I know’; this shows that you are proud and overbearing.

5- DO compliment them in return.

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6- DON’T disagree.

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Part 3 Basic etiquette and proper behavior These will be some basics every girl needs to know and follow, and I am sure you have heard about a couple of them at least once or twice. For a good reason, too, they show proper manners and elegance. These manners are: Having proper posture: Proper posture will make it look like you’re confident even if you aren’t and will portray openness and that you have respect for your audience.

Eating small bites: If you find yourself always hungry and eating big bites in front of people, try eating a bit at home to rest your stomach, so eating small bites in front of people would be easier. Also, try to practice this skill at home so that it will be an automatic thing. Trust me, all I needed was a pish, and now I eat in small and pretty bites.

Sitting elegantly and gracefully: A seated position can say a lot about a girl, her elegance, and her personality. It would be best if you sat up straight in proper etiquette, with your legs together and heels slightly to the back. You can sit with your legs in front of you, angle your knees to either left or right side, 38

or cross your ankles, but never sit with legs apart; it’s a mortal sin to poise.

Chewing with your mouth closed: This should go without saying, but in case you forgot, eating with your mouth open is rude and disgusting. Nobody wants to see chewed-up food in others’ mouths.

Speaking softly and kindly: Even though this a fundamental trait, we often misunderstand it.

I know I did. I thought it meant speaking in a low, shy voice, and when speaking, giving short, kind answers. I was wrong. Speaking softly means not being loud and not being too low/ quiet. Speak gracefully and elegantly. This will make you seem more sophisticated and well taught. Also, use proper and appropriate language that adults would approve of.

Always looking your best: Always put effort into your appearance when meeting people; you don’t want to look messy and careless. Take the time out of your day to pick an outfit, fix your hair, and add accessories; trust me, it will be worth it. This can also impact a person’s first impression of you.

Have a smile: Smile! Even if you aren’t feeling like it, try your best to show a smile. This makes you seem more approachable, and that you seem 39

interested in others are saying. Also, smiling always will slowly make you believe that you are in the mood to smile.

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(Extra part) Confidence I felt this is something I should include, but because it’s extra, I will only talk about how to walk with confidence, and how to look confident even if you aren’t, and riding out embarrassing moments. I will also mention these in quick points.

How to look confident when you are not: 1- DON’T wear dull colors.

2- DO get your body language right.

3- DON’T hide your hair.

4- DO smile.

5- DON’T talk too fast.

6- DO look people in the eye.

7- DON’T bite your nails.

8- DO lift your spirits with fun perfume.

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Another part of faking confidence is being able to do a confident walk. This is the best way to make people think that you are brimming with self-assurance and poise is to strut like a superstar. Follow these steps to get the best out of your stride.  Imagine that someone is pulling your head up with a long piece of a long string, push your shoulders back and smile.  Think of a fast-paced, lively song that you love and sing the tune in your head, or out loud if you prefer.  Gently start swinging your arms and walk along to the rhythm of your song, bouncing a little at the knees.

Finally, riding out those embarring moments. These moments could be calling your teacher ‘mom’ or tripping in front of an audience; embarrassing things happen to everyone from time to time. Follow the tips ill mention to make sure you know how to deal with embarrassment next time.

Laugh it off: If your mistake is a big one and people notice it, laugh it off. This will show you don’t find it to be too embarrassing even if you do.

Stay cool:

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Stay calm. This will avoid red cheeks, earn the skill of brushing off embarrassing moments, and still working on this.

Damage control: Look, if anyone noticed, you may have been lucky and could get away with it. If no one paid attention, don’t draw attention to yourself.

Stay in perspective: Remember that embarrassing things happen to everyone. You may feel bad for a while, but it will pass. Don’t get too upset, and don’t be overly dramatic, so you don’t attract more attention.

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Chapter 4 Hobbies and entertainment As a teen, I can confidently say, we struggle to find and discover hobbies. With having technology, we often feel lazy to get up and practice a skill or try something new. But having a hobby and a passion for something is essential. In fact, it shapes your personality and mindset in some way. In this chapter, I will mention the kinds of hobbies we can maintain and learn.

Part 1 Sports 45

Sports are not only great for your body and health, but they are also staggering entertainment. As a kid, I joined so many sports teams. I played basketball for two years, ballet for another two years, swimming for a year, and horseback riding for another year. I enjoyed these a lot, but I wanted more straightforward and calmer activities as I grew up, if you will. I am really into yoga, and I find it so relaxing and entertaining. It stretches my body, gives the workout I need, and makes me feel relaxed after.

Girls involved in athletics feel better about themselves, both physically and socially. It helps to build confidence when you see your skills improving and your goals becoming a reality. Other esteem-boosting benefits of sports participation include getting in shape, maintaining a healthy weight, and making new friends.

If you are into many sports and don’t know what to pursue, I would suggest trying them all out! You may never know you might not like something you thought you would love. To help your process ill mention some sports and their benefits.

Volleyball: 

Improve Cardiovascular Endurance.



Build Muscular Strength.

 Increase Self Esteem.

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

Reduce the Risk of Obesity.



Better Mental Health.

Dance: 

One – Dance is an all-around healthy activity. ...

 Two – Dance is a great way to meet people with similar interests.  Three – Dance provides a way to get off the street. ... 

Four – Speaking of positive outlook—dance is a great way to help teens develop better self-confidence.

Basketball: Basketball is all about teamwork and provides the opportunity to deal with different types of people from different backgrounds and social groups to collaborate and foster a great team environment.

Track:  47

Increased strength, stamina, and flexibility.

 

Helps maintain healthy body weight.

Improved fitness and heart health.

 Decreased incidence of stress and depression. 

Increased self-esteem.

 Positive body image.

Surfing:  Teach the importance of a healthy lifestyle.  Improve coordination and balance.  Help keeps teenagers grounded and aware.  Encourage teens to be outgoing and try new things.  Build a bond with the whole family.

Rugby: Rugby offers teenagers increased confidence and self-respect, as the ultimate character-building sport. It fosters courage, fitness, team effort, and togetherness, bringing together boys and girls from all backgrounds.

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Swimming:  Highly Accessible Sport.  A Whole-Body Strength Building Activity.  Burns Calories and Develops Endurance.  Low Impact Workout. 

Improves Mood and Stress Levels.



Builds Confidence and Social Wellbeing.

 Teaches Team Building and Goal Setting.

Hopefully, these will give you an idea and help you have a clearer vision of which sport you want to pursue.

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Part 2 Art

A lot of teens love art. I love art. Art can be so many things: drawing, make-up, painting, writing, designing, decorating, etc.. how, though? Well, I will explain to you, and many with the things I mention, you would get excited to start making art.  Drawing Drawing is a form of visual art in which one uses various drawing instruments to mark paper or another two-dimensional medium. ... It is one of the most straightforward and most efficient means of communicating visual ideas. The wide availability of drawing instruments makes drawing one of the most common artistic activities.  Make-up

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Make-up artists, much like painters and other traditional artists, create lines using dark colors and blending. They also use stark, hard lines to create stopping points for the eyes and for definition.  Painting Painting is applying pigments to a support surface that establishes an image, design, or decoration. In art, the term “painting” describes both the act and the result. Most painting is created with pigment in liquid form and applied with a brush.  Writing Writing is also an art because it allows writers to express themselves just as artists express through painting. ... art is defined as the human way of expressing oneself, and writing does an excellent job of allowing people to release their feelings on a piece of paper or a website  Graffiti And even though I regularly see creative graffiti throughout the city, many people fail to recognize it as a viable art form. ... Instead of being considered a meaningful expression, graffiti is seen as vandalism.

Art is a spectrum that cannot be simplified into two words; it is everywhere; art can be any and everything. Art can make you calmer and humbler. It doesn’t have to be good, God knows I am bad at art, but I enjoy doodling until I have an outcome.

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Part 3 Books Books come in many different genres, fantasy, fiction, nonfiction, realistic fiction, romance, young adult, self-help, and more. I can assure you by finding the right genre, reading will become a part of your life; it will become a habit you enjoy doing in your free time and outside of school. Right now, I will mention a couple of my favorite books from each genre. This could be an outline and a guide on what to start.

Self- help  Chicken soup for the teenage soul  Barking up the wrong tree Productivity  The 4-hour workweek 52

   

The power of a positive no The 7 habits of highly effective people The 5-second rule The life-changing magic of tidying up

Confidence      

You are a badass The universe has your back Big magic Lean in The Defining Decade

Young Adult    

Me before you P.s I love you Tuesdays with Morrie I’ll give you the sun

Fantasy    

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The cruel prince The maze runner Red queen Harry potter

Hopefully, these suggestions can help you find a genre you will end up loving and begin a beautiful and useful hobby, reading.

Part 4 More hobbies to follow ď Š I love reading and writing, I find that it takes me to a whole different universe where all my worries go away, and I can believe that I am the main character going through their life, her downs, and her ups. Other hobbies could be, learning make-up, starting a blog, learning to bake or cook, and more!

We should learn how to : Read for fun The one thing schooling might be missing is inculcating selfdriven reading in children. Teenagers often only pick up a book if it is 54

a part of a course or require reading it for an assignment. However, reading is a massive part of adolescent development. They need to learn to guide their own reading, choose books they would like to read, and then discuss ideas that we form while reading. Parents should make sure that they encourage their teenagers to set aside time to read every day.

Art There are lots of after-school opportunities for artistic teens.

Consider signing your teen up for acting classes or music lessons. If your teen is interested in painting, drawing, or sculpting, look for courses that could enhance your child’s skills. A teen who enjoys writing may be able to enter poetry contests or take community writing classes.

Starting a Business.

Many successful entrepreneurs started their first business during their teen years. There are lots of part-time businesses teens can start with little or no start-up costs. Whether your teen wants to mow lawns or walk dogs, a small business can be an excellent opportunity for a budding entrepreneur.

Writing You write and write and write all throughout school and college, and when you graduate, it’s the last thing you want to do. Unless your job involves writing reports, you probably don’t think of it as a hobby.Keeping a journal can be useful for the soul, though. If you find it hard to vent to people, or if it’s difficult for you to work 55

through things out loud, writing down your thoughts can help you make sense of it.

Beyond that, writing poetry, a short story, or even a novel can be an incredible creative journey to undertake. All it takes is a pen and paper or software like Microsoft Word or Google Docs.

Do you have a specific message you want to spread to the world?

Blogging can be a great way to get it out there, and many free blogging sites are available on the internet.

Cooking and Baking Spending time in the kitchen can make some people miserable, but others thrive when they’re experimenting with different ingredients to create the perfect dish. The best part about cooking or baking is that so many recipes are available online; you don’t need a cookbook at all. You can choose to follow recipes or adapt ones to make them your own. The price is whatever you pay for the ingredients. If gardening is a hobby you enjoy, you can source your own ingredients.

Playing Music Have you ever wanted to learn how to play the piano? Guitar?

Violin? Just because band class is over doesn’t mean you can’t pick up an instrument and learn. You don’t need a private tutor, either, unless you know better from having a mentor. Many tutorials for beginners are available online.

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Instead, try and shop for an instrument or see if you can borrow one from a friend until you can decide how committed you are.

Exercising Exercising is a great hobby—and habit—to have. It will get you into better physical and mental shape than by sinking into the couch while snacking.

You don’t need a gym membership, but many offer low-cost packages that range from $10-$30 per month if you choose to get one.

Get your own weights or learn how to do bodyweight exercises. Or do yoga—you just need a mat. Again, there are plenty of free workouts on YouTube, and your phone probably has a few free fitness apps as well.

If none of these hobbies speak to you, look to your friends and family for ideas. Do any of them have exciting hobbies you want to learn more about? Ask them about it, and they might help you bring down the cost by letting you borrow certain things or letting you partake in their hobbies with them.

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Chapter 5 Personal Reflection To make sure you avoid this and maintain a healthy mindset is by prioritizing yourself. Take the time to take care of yourself and to be alone and reflect on yourself, your actions, and your thoughts.

Also, make sure to start listening to your body, get the extra sleep, rest your eyes, don’t overwork yourself. Recently I have been experiencing hypnic jerks before going to bed. This is when your leg has a muscle spasm before going to a sleeping state; this is caused by the excessive stress and anxiety I have been experiencing lately. So, I am beginning to start sleeping earlier, taking breaks, doing the things I love. Just generally taking care of myself and releasing some stress.

Part 1 How to stop comparing yourself to others 59

It can be hard to accept that someone has a trait you want and envy so severely as a normal thing that they had always had and never given a second thought to. Whether it is a physical feature, a status in school, or wherever, an emotional being, we often find ourselves comparing ourselves to others and wishing to have what they had. For example, noses; I found that most teenage girls compare noses and most don’t even like their nose; I will admit, my nose used to be my biggest insecurity, and the first thing I used to notice in a girl was her nose. I did this because I was self-conscious about this feature. Us teenage girls always have a problem without nose structure and bone; we compare it to all girls. But the truth is that all noses are beautiful, whether they are sloped, hooked, small, big, etc. every nose is unique.

Take this example as to anything; you would find that it is true. We need to learn to be confident and empower our strengths.

Did you know the only reason we begin to compare ourselves with others is because others compare us with our friends/ peers/ others in general? Self-comparison is inevitable; it’s the human way of trying to make sense of the world around us. However, it is essential to learn to work with this trait instead of against it.

I believe there are three types of comparison:  Destructive comparison Ex. She already made friends, and I have been here longer, and I don’t have as many as her, people must hate me.  Meet self-comparison with neutrality and acceptance 60

Ex. Wow! She already made many friends in a short time, good for her!  Encouraging comparison Ex. Wow, she already made many friends! I need to start looking at her social skills so I can make friends easily too!

We should usually try and strive for the second kind of comparison and occasionally the last when we need a push, but never the first as it is demeaning and unhealthy.

We need to acknowledge and understand what aspect do we usually compare ourselves in. Is it to the girls you see on Instagram, or your friends and their popularity, or your classmates with higher grades? Is it an emotional or physical comparison? It would help if you found this out. Take notes of any patterns you notice and write them down. It is crucial, to be honest with yourself. Once you start writing down and seeing a pattern, learn to separate yourself from anything/anyone that causes your comparison to be destructive, and understand the root cause of why those things make you feel bad about yourself.

It would be best if you always reminded yourself that not all things are as they seem. And you have zero idea of what goes on behind the scenes in each person’s life. The happiest person you know could be deplorable. The girl who you admire the body of might starves herself. What you see isn’t the truth and is nothing but the truth.

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Part 2 Self-love and acceptance It is easy to get lost in our fast lives, especially in our teenage years; SATs, college applications, AP classes, extracurriculars, parties and hangouts, social life, professional life, and personal life. All of this can be very overwhelming, leading you to a confusing spiral of self-doubt and hatred.

To make sure you avoid this and maintain a healthy mindset is by prioritizing yourself. Take the time to take care of yourself and to be alone and reflect on yourself, your actions, and your thoughts.

Also, make sure to start listening to your body, get the extra sleep, rest your eyes, don’t overwork yourself. Recently I have been experiencing hypnic jerks before going to bed. This is when your leg has a muscle spasm before going to a sleeping state; this is caused by the excessive stress and anxiety I have been experiencing lately. So, I am beginning to start sleeping earlier, taking breaks, doing the things I love. Just generally taking care of myself and releasing some stress.

Although being alone with yourself is difficult, we need to start doing it more. We need to free ourselves and thoughts; we need to allow ourselves to be sad to be happy eventually. When you sit with yourself, you learn things you never knew were in you. You learn the beautiful and ugly things about yourself. With this, you start to understand and accept who you are, and if you don’t, you won’t make it in life.

Accepting who you are is a working progress, but it will lead to beautiful discoveries and learnings. Make sure to define and make 63

clear what your priorities are in life. This will simplify your life significantly.

Take off the mask, let people in, let people know who you are and what you want to be. Show them your confidence and the love you have for ourselves, even if it isn’t true. By doing this, you will begin to convince yourself that you indeed are the person you wish to be; although it’s easier said than done, it can be done.

Here are some crucial steps to self-love and acceptance:  Be kind to yourself.  Confront your fears.  Stay positive.  Accept imperfection.  Don’t take it personally.  Forgive.  Believe in yourself.  Don’t give up no matter what.

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Part 3 How to take control of your life This past year has been really weird. Some of the best things have happened, but also some not so best things that we didn’t know how to deal with happened. Some of things personally I still don’t how to deal with them, because I never had to, I had to learn that life gives and takes however life pleases. Now this isn’t an unfamiliar topic, I’m sure everyone had life changing things given to the, like a good friend at hard time, a scholarship, a dream opportunity, but sometimes life takes things too, like a loved one or an opportunity.

Although this year was different, this year made me at least, look at things with a different light, I had to reflect on everything that had happened to me.

Sometimes it seems like we have no control over anything that happens in our life. It feels like control is just a matter of illusion.

Since things are always taken away and given to us it makes us deeply wonder as to how much control we actually hold over our lives. In fact, do we have any?

What makes us believe we even have control in the first place?

Well it is the predictions we have over natural things. Like the weather, or how long it will take to go from one place to another.

These simple matters make us feel like we are somewhat in control over our lives. But the world is still very unpredictable. But if we had the chance to know every single thing that happens in our life, would it be better than not knowing. Like the classic saying: “If you had 65

your whole life in a book would you read the end?”. Personally, I wouldn’t. there is a quote in The Alchemist: “If good things are coming, they will be a pleasant surprise, if bad things are, and you know in advance, you will suffer greatly before they even occur.”.

Now this makes us wonder, is there anything that can’t be taken away from us? Well yes, 1 thing our freedom, or freedom to choose our attitude and outlook on life. So, we have more control than we presume, we have control over our outlook, attitude, perspective, our honesty, kindness, and gratitude towards ourselves and others, or reactions towards something and control over our choices. With just this control we can control our lives all over.

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Part 4 Overall life advice This part will be in a sort of q and a piece, so feel free to read what benefits you:  How does one build confidence in themselves?

One of the growing self-confidence methods is tackling each insecurity and working on it until it is no longer something that brings you down. Promise yourself that you will work hard to build your confidence in that area and hold yourself accountable for that promise as if it were a promise to someone else you know and love.

Remember that this will take time, so be patient and stay determined.  How to start a motivating day?

Well, this you will have to start from the day before. First, make sure you sleep with a clean room, then write a to-do list of what you would like to accomplish tomorrow, sleep with a rested stomach. The next morning, eat a healthy breakfast, sit outside, exercise, read, or journal. Then go on with your day following the list from the night before.  How to be happy?

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Honestly, this question is difficult to answer; everyone has different things that make them happy. Most people think to be happy, you must not get hurt or feel sad or anxious or disappointed, but that isn’t possible; these things are unavoidable. I mean, yes, you can try to be calmer in certain situations and learn to take control of your body, but that only diffuses the pain but does not get rid of it. We must learn how to deal with the negative situations that occur in our lives because they are bound to happen, and the better we get at dealing with them, the happier we become because then these situations become silly and irrelevant. This is a substantial contributing factor to overall happiness.  Why am I always bored?

You probably don’t have an interest, and if you don’t continuously pursue it. So, if you don’t have any hobbies or interests use chapter 4 of my book to help you find a hobby, but if that doesn’t help search the internet, there are millions of activities people from all over the world enjoy. So try new things till you find something you love.  How to deal with rude people?

Ignore them.  How to deal with loneliness?

Accept your emotion is the first step to conquering it. Remember that this feeling is normal and try to find where it is coming from. Is it an external or internal feeling? Is it a feeling I feel within myself, or is 68

it by your actions? When you find that out, start taking it to step by step from there and try to talk to someone.

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Written by: Tamar Faraj Written year: 2020 Email for any inquiries: tamar.faraj@gmail.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigsister.tips/ Bibliography:

https://dosaygive.com/manners-to-teach-young-girls/ https://thetab.com/us/uc-berkeley/2016/08/22/stop-rejectingcompliments-1534#:~:text=Rejecting%20a%20compliment%20is %20just,the%20person%20I%20was%20complimenting. https://afmc.org/afmc-healthspot/what-your-posture-says-aboutyou/#:~:text=Good%20body%20posture%20indicates%20that,and %20you%20value%20the%20conversation.

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