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JUNE 9 2014


This week at...

9-10PM | 1/2 OFF WELLS















319 MAIN STREET | 530-892-2473















Volume 20 Issue 42 June 9, 2014

For 20 years The Synthesis’ goal has remained to provide a forum for entertainment, music, humor, community awareness, opinions, and change.


This Week...

Here Be Monsters

Letter From the Editor

Join Zooey Mae in her quest to uncover the secrets of Sea Monster (aka artist Christine Fulton): Who is she? Oh, right, I just said— Christine Fulton. But I mean WHO is she, in the really profound sense? What is she up to? Why does she have so many heads in jars? And what is the sinister purpose behind these two words: Meow Meow?

Publisher/Managing Editor

by Amy Olson


Immaculate Infection PAGE 5

Productivity Wasted by Eli Schwartz





Arielle Mullen, Bob Howard, Howl, Jaime O’Neill, Koz McKev, Tommy Diestel, Jayme Washburn, Eli Schwartz, Mona Treme, Emiliano Garcia-Sarnoff, Jon Williams



Jessica Sid Vincent Latham


Dain Sandoval

Exotic Adventures in Smalltown, USA


by Emiliano Garcia-Sarnoff


Ben Kirby

Director of Operations Karen Potter

Art Report


Bill Fishkin


Old Crock

by Jaime O'Neill


Kozmik Debris by Koz McKev


Colin Leiker, Mike Valdez

Contributing Writers

If you don’t know about San Francisco’s Callow (coming to 1078 on June 13th), our beloved Howl is here to describe their music in terms that light up your imagination like a jar full of fireflies on the tail end of twilight. As if that weren’t enough, he’s coaxed musicians Red Moses and Sami Knowles to personally flesh out the finer points of what they’re all about. This show is going to be a good one!

Alex Light

Joey Murphy, Jennifer Foti

by Logan Kruidenier


Entertainment Editor




Creative Director Tanner Ulsh

by Bob Howard

Amy Olson


The Synthesis is both owned and published by Apartment 8 Productions. All things published in these pages are the property of Apartment 8 Productions and may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way, shape or form without the written consent of Apartment 8 Productions. One copy (maybe two) of the Synthesis is available free to residents in Butte, Tehama and Shasta counties. Anyone caught removing papers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. All opinions expressed throughout the Synthesis are those of the author and are not necessarily the same opinions as Apartment 8 Productions and the Synthesis. The Synthesis welcomes, wants, and will even desperately beg for letters because we care what you think. We can be reached via snail mail at the Synthesis, 210 W. 6th St., Chico, California, 95928. Email letters@ Please sign all of your letters with your real name, address and preferably a phone number. We may also edit your submission for content and space.

210 West 6th Street Chico Ca 95928 530.899.7708




Rose It may take you a while to find Rose, because she has a special hiding place in the corner, but once she comes out, you will realize she is worth the wait. She is an exceptional looking fluffy tan and grey beauty with one of the most special personalities ever to grace the cattery. She is gentle and soft and incredibly affectionate.

2579 Fair Street Chico, CA 95928 (530) 343-7917 •


Recently we made a bit of a fuss about how dismissing a popular columnist without explanation to the readers isn’t really the way to go. In the interest of making my own mistakes rather than repeating those of others, I’m going to come right out and explain why I decided to end the run of Jaime O’Neill’s column, Old Crock. Did I not mention that’s happening? OK, I’ll begin at the beginning. This week’s issue contains the final installment of Old Crock. For some of you this is sad news, for others it’s, well… Anyway, it’s abrupt. In an ideal situation there would be a farewell column so you could all get some closure—maybe a wrap-up episode where the Koch brothers finally kiss and Rush Limbaugh gets his dream job but it’s in France—but alas, it’s just going to end cold. “But WHY?” you might be asking, or possibly you’re eating a hotdog and you don’t like to talk with your mouth full. It’s because I have a few fundamental beliefs: 1) I don’t care how talented a person is, if they want my support they have to also be nice. At least to me. (Jeez, I should probably reevaluate that last part.)


BADBADNOTGOOD - “Based is How You Feel Inside”


Eprom - “Metahuman”


Hot Since 82 - “Prince”


I’m From Barcelona - “We’re From Barcelona”


Ice Cube - “Check Yo Self”


The Pixies - “Where is My Mind”


Lorde - “400 Lux”



2) Even when people are upset, they should reciprocate polite behavior when it’s afforded them, and refrain from hurling insults. Especially grown-ass men. 3) People should walk it back when someone tells them they’re crossing the line, not double down. 4) The RENT is TOO DAMN HIGH! And by that, I mean I don’t make nearly enough money at this to put up with any bullshit. The reason I love this job is that it gives me an opportunity to interact with amazing people who do amazing things, and that I get to work

with a wonderful team whom I respect and admire. My job is fun and (usually) drama free, and that’s what keeps me energized and committed. I won’t allow anyone to pollute that environment. So yeah, long story short—Jaime and I got into it a few days ago over something really small (I’m sometimes slow to return emails), and it quickly escalated into something insane. Things were said, bluffs were called, columns were cancelled, more things were said, and he decided to storm off rather than write a farewell. And then he wrote me a series of emails full of backhanded advice and direct insults (which I’ll respond to eventually), and I was left feeling pretty solid about finally putting some distance between us. In retrospect, I should’ve seen it coming a mile away. When a person treats others disrespectfully, they will inevitably treat you disrespectfully. When a person uses hyperbole to express every upset, they will inevitably blow your words and actions out of proportion too. When you pick up a scorpion and it stings you, all you can say is, “Oh, right, scorpion.” The good news is, we’ve already started looking at some pretty cool options (feel free to email me if you’d like to throw your hat into the ring—, and will have at least one fresh new column coming for you soon. Plus, I think we’re all looking forward to Jaime being on the cover of the CN&R flipping two birds at a Synthesis. My gift to you, Melissa Daugherty, enjoy.

Letter From the Editor by Amy Olson

Life, Death, and the Bike Races

is diligent planning and organization. The second is a top-notch security detail—this year representing the once and possibly future state of Jefferson—that keeps everything running relatively orderly while maintaining an atmosphere of fun. Finally, it’s the people involved and the energy they bring with them. It turns my cynical side to putty and rekindles my idealistic fantasies for an anarchy-based utopia, at least for a couple of days.

THE ANNUAL BIKE RACES ARE ONE OF THE GREATEST EVENTS ON THIS EARTH, AND REKINDLE MY Death or Glory! HIBERNATING FAITH IN HUMANITY. The Bike Races have come and gone. This is one of those wondrous, improbable, uniquely Chico events that defies attempts at description. The Bike Races really need no fanfare or publicity, you were either there, or you were not—and if you were there, then you know what happened, at least you know your own peculiar version of events. But for the sake of documentation I will list some of my own personal highlights. This year’s theme was “states,” not altered states, but those odd geographical entities that make up this weird country. Nevada, New York, Louisiana, Texas, Arizona, Hawaii, and Florida were represented, in that order. Aliens and prostitutes featured prominently. Severance Package channeled their inner New York Dolls on stage at a representation of the world famous CBGB’s. The Shankers delved deep into the heart of Texas, and the dance party at the final house was beyond frenetic. It was an eruption of frivolity and joy, one of the greatest climaxes I have enjoyed as a being on this planet. The gaiety ensued because we accomplished something—not simply getting drunk and having a great time. We collectively demonstrated a willingness and ability to self-rule. The Bike Races gives me hope for humankind. There is no plausible reason an event like this should exist, but it does. I think it works for a few reasons. The first

Here on the home-front we are finally going to move on the underground pub that will be known as the “Death or Glory.” In fact we’ve got a dirt mover coming out this morning to give us a quote on the excavation. This is something I have been screwing around with on my own for the last couple of years, but finally have to admit that the tractor is simply not up for the task, and the wheelbarrow and shovel approach could lead us well into the 2020s before we have a chance to begin building.

High Performance Detail Cleaners Residential and Commercial Cleaning Services!

Out in the Garden

• Apartment

• Business

The heat is up and along with it the tomatoes and peppers are starting to come to life. I’m taking yet another stab at potatoes. This time I’m growing simple russets, started from an old bag that went to eyes in the cupboard, and growing them in a circle of wire between layers of soil and straw.

• Home

• Warehouse

• Office

• and more!

I’ve never had any luck with potatoes—they come up, then they go down without a rhizome for the supper pot. It could be too much sun, and maybe I’ll tack a piece of shade cloth up over the wire.

Immaculate Infection by Bob Howard


Cost Effective, Customer Friendly Cleaning Service Fees FREE estimates with walk- through site inspection (530)774-1175

“We clean to YOUR specifications!” FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 5




North Valley


Celebrating the Solstice and Clean Energy from the Sun

Thursday, June 19th 2014

Doors at 5:30pm 6:00 - 9:00pm



Join us for jazz and an eclectic variety show Featuring music by: Bogg | Lisa Valentine | Lish Bills | Motown Filthy Performances by: Meg Amor | Everybody In Outer Space | Samba Sirens belly dancing, fire and more!

Refreshments provided Dinner vendors and no-host bar onsite



Productivity Wasted AAA Double Header

Wolfenstein: The New Order VOOLFENSHTEEEN!

The contemporary tendency to take an older work and remake it with today’s budget, technology, and skill is still chugging along like a juggernaut on a treadmill, and I’m not just talking about the new Godzilla. The whole Wolfenstein series is an old, old, ooooold one—a prestigious forefather of gaming stretching back to 1981, which, while yesterday for some people, joins the late Triassic period in being far enough before my birth to make it into my high school history textbooks. Back then, Castle Wolfenstein was a birds-eye-view perspective stealth game focused on avoiding conflict, and ran on the Apple II series. In 1992 the series was revamped into Wolfenstein 3D, a first-person shooter—excuse me, THE first person shooter, for MS-DOS. 3D, while not the genuine original first-person shooter, was the first ever to be widely distributed, popularly played, and ported to consoles like the SNES. In this respect, it was a game changer, and granddaddy of one of the biggest and most profitable genres in modern gaming.

of this world. Whether it was watching a full scale troop transport plane smash into the side of a gothic castle, seeing the light glint off the surface of the moon, or watching the lights of a huge robot strobe through the rain, New Order can be very pretty. Sometimes. Sometimes it just gives up, and lets large swaths of the stage go un-rendered. It’s apparently all or nothing with their graphical optimization.

The series has always had similar questions regarding the second world war: What if the Nazis had supreme technology? The appeal is very real, because the only moral triumph the Americans didn’t have in WW2 was the satisfaction of being the underdog.

Gameplay is solid, and far from being new and radical, hearkens back to old ways with a health and armor stat that is increased by picking up med-kits and steel plates. It’s also fairly hard, taking pains to make severely strong enemies and difficult situations with poor cover, and at times the AI can be downright clever in its pack tactics.

The New Order picks up the baton that’s been lying on the ground since 2009’s unoriginally named Wolfenstein, whose mediocrity made it less of a flop and more of a general “thud.” New Order, however, has higher ambitions. Its budget is massive, owing primarily to its stateof-the-art graphics that scream “next gen” at anyone looking, and made me cringe when I compared my pc’s stats to the requirements. On this respect, New Order is occasionally out

The game does stand out with its attempts at depth, however. Previous Wolfensteins and many first person shooters have a story that exists only to justify continued gameplay, yet New Order takes its time giving you some background, character, and well-written dialogue that ranges from amusing to, on occasion, haunting. Of course, the game has its priorities laid well out; story and character alike play second fiddle to spraying lead at Nazi Space Marines, but not to the extent I expected from a AAA first-person shooter with a long and sometimes sticky pedigree.

The New Order is, overall, a solid game, one of the better mainstream first-person shooters I’ve played in a while. While not exactly challenging the medium, I see it as a step in the right direction for many shooters, and worth playing.

Productivity Wasted by Eli Schwartz



Ubisoft’s Watch_Dogs is the biggest release in months. The night of its release, I attended an unrelated party which had more than a few friends leaving early to grab the game they’d had pre-ordered since trailers started coming out in 2013. At E3 (Electronic Entertainment Exposition) its previews turned heads and increased the value of the company stock. Before its development hit the halfway point, its budget exceeded 70 million dollars. When I say AAA title, this is what I mean. Its premise: a hacker and “fixer”(a jack-ofall-trades mercenary) uses his smartphone to hack the entire city of Chicago, which has recently been put on a single and poorly protected grid with omnipotent electronic control. He will raise drawbridges, explode junction boxes, crash helicopters, destroy cars and lives, all with his iPhone. But as realism is a sticky point to criticize a game, we’ll leave that uncriticized. Mechanically, the game plays out like a casserole thrown together from everything perishable in the fridge after a power outage. The cover-based shooting is fairly textbook, though missing a few pieces (why can’t I blindfire?), the driving is perfectly acceptable (so long as you turn off the unspeakably awful radio), and the open world freedom is normal. None of this is new, or special. The specialty is the hacking mechanic, which ultimately comes down to “press X to make stuff happen,” and hope that the auto-targeting system has locked onto the right thing for you to hack. The mechanics are mostly mediocre with moments of joy. The true crime is our protagonist. Meet Aiden Pearce, gruff thirty-something white male with a voice reminiscent of Steven

Blum. His family’s been hurt, and he’s on a quest to get justice. In summary, Aiden is a textbook cheap protagonist, but in the fine details he’s...worse than a stock character. Aiden interacts with his environment and the player like a thick plank of wood: stoic, blunt, violent, and emotionally unresponsive. When he interacts with other characters, he transforms into a singularity, a single point so boring that not even the quirky, nefarious, and emotional secondary characters can escape intact. After a heinously boring first act, however, the gameplay picks up. The story missions are creative—fresh even—and new, less sensibility-offending characters come into play. The plot leaves plenty to be desired, in that its mostly driven by mistakes and all the characters seem to have a severe case of cognitive dissonance. “It’s you!” cries Aiden’s sister, “You’re the vigilante!” could be a dramatic reveal, if it wasn’t after several weeks of having Aiden’s face plastered across television screens across the city reading “AIDEN PEARCE: VIGILANTE.” Or perhaps Aiden’s startled realization of “I killed them all. That’s not me, is it? Am I a killer?” could have been a real moment of conflict if he hadn’t had that realization around his 752nd murder. My advice? Acquire this game for a lot less than $60 (not that I would ever advocate anything illegal, no of course not), blast through the first act when you’ve got nothing better to do, then enjoy the challenges and chases for the rest of the campaign. After you beat that, toss it in a corner and remember it like you would a dead friend: for its good parts.




, like many others in Chico, first met Christine Fulton (AKA “Sea Monster”), through the CRUX art gallery on Park Ave. I say “met,” but really I just knew her from afar through mutual friends. She was such an enigma to me—this bold, effervescent, artistic-powerhouse of a woman. Whether it was walking her three-legged dog downtown or stomping the Chikoko runway topless, she always managed to carry herself with a seemingly impossible mix of both selfassuredness and whimsy. (Seriously, how is that even possible?) It was only after I’d conducted the following interview that I realized I’d had a myriad of preconceptions about what an in-depth conversation with her would be like. It’s hard to articulate exactly what I expected, but what I found was an incredibly kind, self-aware woman who also happens to be a stone cold fox. When we met at the Naked Lounge downtown, she greeted me with a smile, a Lotto scratcher, and a handmade dog tag necklace advertising her upcoming show at the Winchester Goose. We spoke about her show at the Goose, gangster rap, and cartoons from the ‘70s. Enjoy. What was the inspiration behind this new Meow Meow series? I always want to warm myself up by just painting heads. So I tried to think, “What can I make, how can I do these heads a little differently?” So I did a little series of them in glass jars, and I thought, “Oh that’s kind 8


of cute.” They looked like little specimens to me, and I thought, “Well, we don’t really put people’s heads in glass jars, but we do put other things in glass jars, things that we don’t understand.” For this series I imagined there were people that we’d never met and somehow we found them living among us. I pictured us saying, “I don’t understand you, I’m going to trap you in a jar for observation.” I imagined that we captured them hanging around with us, but tried to think what they’d do to blend in with us. I figured they’d think, “Well, humans are obsessed with really dumb things sometimes, like Hello Kitty—they have it on these gadgets that they’re playing with all the time. And humans really like tattoos, of sexy girls and stuff.” So I tried to make them have things that they’d think we would like. That’s interesting. Do you think there’s any parallel to the idea behind your show of people putting things in jars or maybe sequestering them off for observation because they don’t understand them, and maybe you feeling not fully understood within your own life? No. Not really. I mean, I like that explanation, but I wasn’t really thinking about that when I was painting them. I was mostly thinking about how we tend to put things in jars, or on shelves, and you look at those things all the time, and they automatically become really


precious to you. That’s kind of the rule of most artwork. Even if it’s ugly, or pretty, or abstract or whatever… The only thing that makes it art is if one person considers it precious for some reason. Like I could find a chewed up piece of gum that looks like… who’s the religious lady… oh—the Virgin Mary. So I find this Virgin Mary piece of gum, and I put it on my special shelf, and then it becomes a piece of art at that point. I was thinking of the jar-heads like that. What’s your process like when you paint? Do you have any rituals or things you have to have to get into a painting state of mind? Everything has to be cute. (laughs) I’m serious! Like the jar I keep my paintbrushes in, it’s fucking cute. And I get a bunch of old frames, and I take the pictures out of them. I always pick the frames before I even start painting. If there’s something unique happening with the frame, sometimes I’ll try to mock that within the painting. For one series at the Ray Ray Gallery, the original pictures that I took out of the frames, I tattooed them on the girls in my paintings, and that really made me happy. So as long as everything is cute, and as long as I have

Gucci Mane. I’ll listen to it like eight times in a row. music, I’m happy. What kind of music? Just all across the board. I’m really bad at picking music. I steal stuff from other people, but often I just end up listening to the same stuff over and over again. Like what? Like Gucci Mane. I’ll listen to it like eight times in a row. It’s

so bad. (laughs) There’s this one song where he’s just talking about blow jobs. I’m kind of embarrassed about it, but it doesn’t matter because I just put it on low and listen to it. Gangster music. Anything singer-songwriter just puts me to sleep when I paint. Also cigarettes and coffee are really good. For breaks. So what’s the “Sea Monster” thing all about? When we were doing the CRUX, back in the day, we were doing all these open-entry shows. And people would submit artwork and sculpture, but we also wanted people to submit installations and performances. So we had a few shows, but no one was submitting performances, just paintings and sculptures. And the stuff we had was rad, but we wanted performances too. So all us CRUX people got together and we were like, “Well, we should submit either a performance or an installation each time.” Because first of all, there’s not enough room on the walls for all of us to put our stupid shit in. And we also thought maybe if other people saw us doing something cont on pg. 10 FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 9

some of the stuff I’ve worn, and some of the performances I’ve done downtown, I wouldn’t be able to do that anywhere else. It just wouldn’t be safe. It’s just not.

goofy, they might feel better about submitting a performance too. So I started writing a couple little performances to do, and I was super nervous because I’d never done it before, and Dragon Boy [David Sutherland] called me “C-Monster.” Like “C” for Christine; like a little pet name, because he was my boyfriend at the time. So I used that name for the performance pieces, and I’d wear something so it didn’t look like me, and then I’d meet someone at the next show and they’d say, “Oh I saw your thing,” and they’d call me Sea Monster. It just kind of happened like that; it was really just a way to cut the nerves. Do you consider it an alter ego or just a nickname? Sometimes when I’m talking to myself, to pump myself up, I’ll say, “C’mon Sea Monster, you can do this,” but I wouldn’t say it’s like an alter ego… I think it’s just a boost to get me to do something that might make me a little uncomfortable. And I can always just blame it on the other person. Like, “Sorry that I took my underwear off and threw it in your face at that show, it was Sea Monster.” I think it’s just to help me feel not embarrassed or insecure about stuff that I want to do. How much do you think what goes on in your life dictates your work? I’m not sure… I remember Erin Lizardo had a chola clown party for her birthday, and it was so goofy… and I looked at so many pictures on the Internet of chola clowns, and I went to the party and it was really fun. So I made a chola clown piece for this show, totally because I went to that party. That’s pretty plain and simple, I went to the chola clown party, and then I painted a chola clown picture. I think in general it’s more about what’s going on. Definitely me trying to be part of pop culture a little bit; not actually doing it on a day-to-day basis, but knowing that it’s very relevant and very present. I guess I’m just trying to highlight things that I see. So I don’t think it’s an escape at all, it’s more of a response to the clues that pop culture puts out there. Do you feel like Chico as a community accepts you? Like you can do what you want without fear of rejection or 10




I don’t know that I could do all the stuff that I’ve done if I weren’t in Chico. It’s just out of control. Starting the CRUX when I was still in college… we were goofy. And some of the stuff I’ve worn, and some of the performances I’ve done downtown, I wouldn’t be able to do that anywhere else. It just wouldn’t be safe. It’s just not. Chico just has such a hippie, loving vibe, which I secretly hate, but also am very appreciative of. Sometimes it’s frustrating, because I’ll work on something that I think is really smart, but it gets the same credit as someone just making a hula hoop. And at the same time, they are equally valuable. So I get kind of pissed sometimes at Chico, because everything is accepted, but I’m appreciative of that at the same time. It’s complicated. It’s not cutthroat here. It’s not competitive, and I don’t have to think about that when I’m making art. But I think that’s both a crutch and an advantage. Like, look at the cover of the News & Review, it’s some hippie girl praying to sticks. and I think it’s cool, but it’s a lot of bullshit. And I love the News & Review, but I think there’s a lot of hippie bullshit that wouldn’t fly in other cities. Because they don’t have time for that in other places. Like, can you imagine seeing that in like, Chicago? And some of the quotes in there, like “Community has to exist within nature,” like no. No it doesn’t. Community can exist within some stupid contest that I have, and it could have nothing to do with nature.

We can come back to that one.

Is there any medium you haven’t worked with that you’d like to?

So how about those non-human influences?

I’d love to do oil painting, I just think that I haven’t exhausted watercolor yet. But that’s what I’d like to do next. But before I get into that, I’d also like to try Egg Tempera painting. It’s a big thing, you have to mix your paint and keep it refrigerated, and I’m just not prepared to do that. But if I ever got super situated somewhere and I knew I had a lot of time to fuck around, I’d want to do Egg Tempera. What are your top two non-human influences? Oh my god, non-human? I don’t know… That’s such a hard

Ok good, let’s come back to it. If you had to watch one movie every day for the rest of your life, what would it be? Probably The Point. It’s a cartoon movie from the ‘70s, it’s fabulous. It’s about points. (laughs) Its about this boy that grows up in Pointsville, or something like that, and everything has a point… this is so dumb… Like literally a point? A sharp edge? Yeah, a sharp point. Basically an edge. So the boy is born, and he doesn’t have a point, and his parents give him a cone shaped hat, and then the evil mayor exiles him to the pointless forest, and the boy goes on all these adventures. It’s just good. That’s the only one I could stand every day. If you were a dinosaur, what kind would you be? One of those giant crocodiles. One that doesn’t go extinct. Like a giant turtle. (Laughs) I’d be a giant turtle.

Let’s say… Typewriters and sealed envelopes. I love the possibility of a sealed envelope… Also any type of contest. Do you enjoy competing? I like the idea of contests making you do something that you wouldn’t normally do. It’s kind of along the same lines as an open entry show, where someone sets a theme. I don’t know. That question is really hard. Maybe rainbows. I like rainbows. There you have it! Come to the Winchester Goose on June 12 at 6pm to see Fulton’s newest series: “meow meow.”

22nd Annual Member Appreciation Party Sat. June 14th, 5-9pm

20+ Restaurants & Vendors

Fashion Show

Fitness Demonstrations

DJ & Dancing Enjoy samples from 20+ local restaurants, DJ entertainment by Elite Sound and a fashion show by “For Elyse�. We are also hosting a Silent Auction Fundraising Event for The American Cancer Society. All members are invited and MUST check in at the front desk with their membership card. Must be 21 to attend. Food samples will be served from 5pm-7pm only.

Tickets are available at and select Walmart locations. Limit 8 tickets per person. All dates, acts and ticket prices are subject to change without notice. All tickets are subject to applicable service charges.

This Week Only...


Thursday, June 12th

Friday, June 13th


This show kind of advertises itself. The Beat’s classic rock is going to take Duffy’s back a couple decades with amazing pop choruses and lots of PBR. The reunited band just got back from China and are dropping into Chico for a drink. I’ll accept it. $5, 9pm

Four budding new directors, four oneact plays, and the audience chooses their favorite at the end of the night. In honor or Shakespeare’s 450th birthday, the directors are required to write plays to the theme of “The Bard.” Plays Thu-Sat, June 12th-June 21st. $10 adv., $12 door, 7:30pm.

Thursday, June 12th

Friday, June 13th








Devo meets The Stooges. Strangely catchy electronic garage-rock from San Diego. This three-piece rocks a drum machine, a synthesizer, and some classic punk vocals to show you the true nature of angry robots. Which is all Stalin was trying to do, after all: He just wanted to make angry robots. Right? I dunno. More bands TBA, $5, 8pm.

Accomplished guitarist Chris Zanardi and his band The High Beamz are going to jam until you reach enlightenment. This is guitar-centric jazz that borders on rock and psychedelia, but always stays classy. Rock on over to Lost On Main after Thursday Market!


Other new and exciting things!

12 Thursday

t h g i N e e i d La ght own the ni


buck11h:3o0upr m 10:30-

No Cover




Blue Room: Fresh Ink. 7:30pm $10 adv., $12 door. Chico Theatre Company: Forever Plaid. $20 Adults, $12 Children, 7:30pm City Plaza: Uni & Her Ukulele, Meg Amor, and more. 6-9pm Habitat Lab: Frugal House 2014. Party, Music, Urban house decorations for sale, benefit for North State Symphony. 6pm LaSalles: Happy Hour with Russ Peters. 4-8pm Lost On Main: Chris Zanardi & The High Beams Manzanita Place: Chico Chamber of Commerce 52nd Community BBQ & Cook-Off. $35, 5:30-9:30pm Sierra Nevada Big Room: Poor Man’s Whiskey-Allman Brothers

tribute. $20, 7:30-9:30pm

13 Friday

1078 Gallery: Callow (SF), Slow Motion Drive, Fera, His Dreaded Norman Forces. $5, 8pm Avenue 9 Gallery: “Carlos Loarca in Chico,” paintings of Guatemalan folklore. Opening Reception 5-8pm Blue Room: Fresh Ink. 7:30pm $10 adv., $12 door. Cafe Coda: “Breathe Dust, Feel Gold,” art by Shane Patrick Fitzgerald. Ft. Michael Bone, Aubrey Debauchery, Tiny Salmon, and more. $5, 8pm Chico Theatre Company: Forever Plaid. $20 Adults, $12 Children, 7:30pm City Plaza: The Alice Peake Experience 7-8:30pm

EAT. DRINK. PLAY. Find Out How you Can Play Pool for Only $1/Day!

DownLo: “Lost Girls-A Belly Dance Adventure,” by BellySutra. Dancing, Lumininjas, raffle, and more. Free, 8pm Habitat Lab: Frugal House 2014. Party, Music, Urban house decorations for sale, benefit for North State Symphony. 10am-6pm LaSalles: Zombie Party ft. DJ Marvel. 9pm Maltese: Dr. Luna, Furlough Fridays, Black Delany, Maker’s Mile. $5, 9pm

14 Saturday

1078 Gallery: Lisa Valentine & The Unloveables, Alli Battaglie & The Musical Brewing Company. $5, 8pm Blue Room: Fresh Ink. 7:30pm $10 adv., $12 door. Chico Theatre Company: Forever

Plaid. $20 Adults, $12 Children, 7:30pm Habitat Lab: Frugal House 2014. Party, Music, Urban house decorations for sale, benefit for North State Symphony. 10am-6pm LaSalles: Happy Hour with Black Fong. 4-8pm Maltese: Wake Of The Dead. $5, 9pm

15 Sunday

Chico Theatre Company: Forever Plaid. $20 Adults, $12 Children, 2pm Habitat Lab: Frugal House 2014. Party, Music, Urban house decorations for sale, benefit for North State Symphony. 10am-3pm LaSalles: Father’s Day Karaoke. 8pm


Ongoing Events 9 Monday

The Bear: Bear-E-oke! 9pm Chico Art Center: “Contemporary Woman” Juried Art Show. 10am4pm Chico Womens Club: Prenatal Yoga. 5:30-6:30pm DownLo: Comedy Night. Free. Pool League. 3 player teams, signup with bartender. 7pm. All ages until 10pm Has Beans Downtown: Photography Kale Barker. 5:30am-10pm Maltese: Open Mic Comedy or Music, alternates every week. Signups at 8pm, starts at 9pm. Mug Night 7-11:30pm The Tackle Box: Latin Dance Classes. Free, 7-9pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Yoga Center Of Chico: Sound Healing w. Emiliano. Breathwork, Meditation, Healing.

10 Tuesday

100th Monkey: Fusion Belly Dance mixed-level class, with BellySutra. $8/class or $32/month. 6pm Open Mic plus showcase by local musicians. 7pm Chico Art Center: “Contemporary Woman” Juried Art Show. 10am4pm Chico Women’s Club: Yoga. 9-10am. Afro Carribean Dance. $10/class or $35/mo. 5:50-7pm. Followed by Capoeira, $3-$10. 7:30-8:30pm Crazy Horse Saloon: All Request Karaoke. 21+ DownLo: Game night. All ages until 10pm Farm Star Pizza: Live Jazz with Shigemi and Friends. 7-9pm Has Beans Downtown: Photography by Kale Barker. 5:30am-10pm Holiday Inn Bar: Salsa Lessons, 7-10pm LaSalles: ’90s night. 21+ Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-Close Studio Inn Lounge: Karaoke.

8:30pm-1am The Tackle Box: Karaoke, 9pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Woodstocks: Trivia Challenge. Call at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts 6:30pm

11 Wednesday

The Bear: Trike Races. Post time 10pm Chico Art Center: “Contemporary Woman” Juried Art Show. 10am4pm Chico Women’s Club: Afro Brazilian Dance. 5:30-7pm DownLo: Wednesday night jazz. 8 Ball Tournament, signups 6pm, starts 7pm Duffys: Dance Night! DJ Spenny and Jeff Howse. $1, 9pm The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm Has Beans Downtown: Photography by Kale Barker. 5:30am-10pm Jesus Center: Derelict Voice Writing Group, everyone welcome. 9-10:30am Panamas: Bar Swag Bingo/Trivia Night. 9-11pm The Maltese: Friends With Vinyl! Bring your vinyl and share up to 3 songs/12 minutes on the turntable. 9pm-1am The Tackle Box: Line Dance classes. Free, 5:30-7:30pm. Swing Dance classes. Free, 7:30-9:30pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm VIP Ultra Lounge: Laurie Dana. 7-9pm Woodstocks: Trivia Night plus Happy Hour. call at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts at 8pm

12 Thursday

The Beach: DJ Mack Morris. 10:30pm The Bear: DJ Dancing. Free, 9pm Chico Art Center: “Contemporary Woman” Juried Art Show. 10am4pm DownLo: Chico Jazz Collective. 8-11pm. All ages until 10pm


The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm Has Beans Downtown: Photography by Kale Barker. 5:30am-10pm Open Mic Night. 7-10pm. Signups start at 6pm Holiday Inn Bar: Karaoke. 8pm-midnight LaSalles: Free live music on the patio. 6-9pm Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-close Panamas: Buck night and DJ Eclectic & guests on the patio. 9pm Quackers: Karaoke night with Andy. 9pm-1am University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm VIP Ultra Lounge: Acoustic performance with Bradley Relf. 7-9pm. No Cover. Woodstocks: Open Mic Night Yoga Center Of Chico: Ecstatic Dance with Clay Olson. 7:309:30pm

13 Friday

Avenue 9 Gallery: “Carlos Loarca in Chico,” paintings of Guatemalan folklore. Opening Reception 5-8pm The Beach: DJ2k & Mack Morris. 9pm The Bear: DJ Dancing. Free, 9pm Cafe Coda: Friday Morning Jazz with Bogg. 11am Chico Art Center: “Contemporary Woman” Juried Art Show. 10am4pm Crazy Horse Saloon: Fusion Fridays, the best country, rock, oldies, 80s & top 40. Country dance lessons 9-10:30pm DownLo: ½ off pool. All ages until 10pm. Live Music, 8pm Duffys: Pub Scouts - Happy Hour. 4-7pm The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm Has Beans Downtown: Photography by Kale Barker. 5:30am-10pm Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dance Party.

8pm-midnight LaSalles: Open Mic night on the patio. 6-9pm Maltese: Happy hour with live jazz by Bogg. 5-7pm. LGBTQ+ Dance Party. 9pm Panamas: Jigga Julee, DJ Mah on the patio. 9pm Peeking: BassMint. Weekly electronic dance party. $3. 9:30pm Quackers: Live DJ. 9pm Sultan’s Bistro: Bellydance Performance. 6:30-7:30pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm


14 Saturday

Avenue 9 Gallery: “Carlos Loarca in Chico,” paintings of Guatemalan folklore. 12-5pm The Beach: DJ Mah. 9pm The Bear: DJ Dancing. No Cover. 9pm Crazy Horse Saloon: Ladies Night Dancing. 10pm-1:30am DownLo: 9 Ball tournament. Signups at noon, starts at 1pm. All ages until 10pm The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm Has Beans Downtown: Photography by Kale Barker. 5:30am-10pm Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dancing. 70s and 80s music. 8pm-midnight LaSalles: 80’s Night. 8pm-close Panamas: DJ Eclectic on the patio. 9pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm

Visiting the Thursday Night Market? Stop by for our Farmer’s Market Special!

15 Sunday

Dorothy Johnson Center: Soul Shake Dance Church. Free-style dance wave, $8-$15 sliding scale. 10am-12:30pm DownLo: Free Pool, 1 hour with every $8 purchase. All ages until 10pm Has Beans Downtown: Photography by Kale Barker. 5:30am-10pm LaSalles: Karaoke. 9pm Maltese: Live Jazz 4-7pm. Trivia 8pm Tackle Box: Karaoke, 8pm

Do you like Life in Chico? So do we! “Like” Life in Chico, CA


On The Town 16



by logan kruidenier -

Stuck in a Dream It had been ten years in this one, and quite often, Howl forgot who he was within it. On that fateful day, he’d eaten a burrito that he’d found, lying forgotten, looking innocent enough (as far as burritos go). It turned out to be a Dream Burrito, and he’d been asleep ever since. What bothered him most about the whole affair (for it’s the small things that grow to be the largest annoyance) were the constant changes to his wardrobe. Howl had decided that when he woke up (and he did, on more hopeful days, imagine he could someday wake up), he would wear the SAME outfit for the rest of his life—never again would he find himself suddenly in a dress, or in the nude, or (worst of all) in cowboy boots! A vision came to him now of his body, lying asleep under trees grown thickly together. Many times he’d seen this body of his real life lying there, and always he’d been powerless to help it wake up. Plants were starting to grow up, over, and all around it. A family of quail had built a nest in the crook of its arm. “At least I look peaceful over there,” Howl thought. “Nothing to do but sleep, and digest a magical burrito.” If he was being honest with himself, he had been asking to fall into a trap like this. As his life continued to grow, and responsibilities mounted, more and more had Howl turned to his sleep for escape, even to the point of trying to replace life with dreams and ever more sleep. Of course, now that he had the enchanted rest he’d been yearning for, he was beginning to find it quite bothersome. Even the simple act of petting a cat held a risk here, where the cat would, often as not, become a burning candle, or a stale cake, or some other useless thing. “Lord, wouldn’t it be nice to just wake up!” Howl exclaimed. A cloud of pink emotionbubbles sprung up all around him as he said it. It was at this point in the dream that a gigantic, beautiful whale could be seen swimming by. To you or me, this fantastic, intelligent, RADIANT beast would be a sight to behold, but Howl had had quite enough of Dream Beasts. He stewed in his private, pouting thoughts until they were interrupted by a great, loud fart from the whale. Distracted, he looked in the direction of the beast, and shouted in surprise: the beast had just pooped out a Dream Burrito!

Art by zgizgi (Tumblr) “You there! Whale!” the dreamer yelled, and swam through air to address it directly. “It was you! You pooped out a Dream Burrito in my park, and I ate it, and I’ve been stuck in this dream for ten years because of you! I command you to help me wake up at once!” The Dream Whale drifted along for a moment, blinking its great whale-eyes thoughtfully. “Eat this burrito here, and I daresay you will awaken,” it said. “I’m not falling for that again!” Howl said. “Anyway, I just saw it come out of your butt! No thank you!” “Suit yourself,” came the whale-voice, “but this one’s got guacamole…” and as the beast said this, it evaporated into a thousand tiny bubbles. Howl held the fresh Dream Burrito in his hands, and hesitated. After all his pouting, was he actually ready to return to the land of the living?



On The Town


Full Home SQUARE PEG IN A ROUNDERS HOLE “If I’m going to go play poker, I better train,” I think to myself. I wipe the sleep from my eyes. It’s 9:15am. The tournament starts at 11am. I roll out of bed and begin a stretching routine that involves moving my head slightly to the left and then slightly to the right. Then I grab my computer and flop back into bed. Reader: cue up “Eye of the Tiger” for this training montage: Me typing, “poker strategy” into YouTube. Me watching videos, computer on belly. Me watching on my side, spooning my pillow, spittle gathering at the corner of my mouth. Then me watching stomach-down, chin on palms, ankles crossed in the air like a teenage girl. OK, let’s do this. I shower and head over. Casino 99 is in a broad, nondescript building on the corner of 20th and Park. Some of the signage out front still says Flavor Falls Oriental Cuisine, the former tenant. Gordo Burrito taco truck in the lot; pawn shop willing to take gold off your hands and used car dealership across the street. But inside it’s nice: conditioned air, glossy black wallpaper, swirly casino carpet, packed with Plasma TVs tuned to sports and newlooking poker tables covered in smooth, colorful felt. I sit down for a quick lesson/interview with Casino 99’s General Manager, Stan Seiff. Seiff has a greying goatee and an exceptionally energetic and friendly temperament. (Full disclosure: He’s also offered to stake my $25 entrance fee in today’s tournament, so— successfully bought off as I am—I’m liable to start describing him as Clooney-looking and God-like). In California Card Rooms there’s poker and a few other “live games” like Baccarat and Blackjack. They operate legally because the owners are not also the bank; that job is contracted out to a third party, or else players simply play against each other with their own money on the line. Though this may sound like a loophole, it’s actually a significant difference. The owners of Casino 99 have no interest in the players losing significant sums. They make their money by collecting a small fee (the “rake”) from each hand or table. They just want you to have a good time and keep playing. As Seiff puts it: “I’m in the rent 18


business.” Seiff literally grew up in casinos. His dad owned one in Marina, CA. When he was a boy, Sieff played poker with his pops. As he started to manage casinos and card rooms, Sieff came to know many of the world’s top-ranked players, like the young phenom Antonio Esfandiari and Barry Greenstein, the “Robin Hood of Poker,” famous for donating his winnings to charity. “It’s all I’ve ever done,” Sieff tells me, his Clooney-like eyes twinkling and his substantial muscles rippling under his shirt. In 2003, as Poker was experiencing a highly televised boom, Sieff took a year off and played full time, professionally. “Poker isn’t gambling,” Sieff explains. “It’s a game of skill.” Sieff made decent money over the long run, but the big swings were “too gut wrenching.” Sometimes he’d be down $10,000 in a single day. Other days, he’d be up $25,000. Sieff gives me my little tutorial. In Texas Hold’em, each player gets two cards, and community cards are dealt face up in the middle. Players are trying to make the best five-card hand. But it’s mostly about rapidly processing large amounts of information: how aggressively your opponents have been betting, odds of your hand winning, what your opponents are trying to communicate

with their bets and whether you believe them, etc. It’s the science—and in some ways the art—of superior statistical and psychological decision-making. The tournament starts. I’m seated at table 3, seat 3. The seating is knee-rubbingly intimate. I’m literally the only guy (and by “guy” I mean guy: there’s exactly one woman playing, and I get the definitive sense that she’s a wife along for company) at the table not wearing glasses of some sort; either sun or spectacles. There are five-gallon hats and baseball caps. There are Van Dykes and handlebar mustaches and 27-o’clock-stubble. But mostly it’s just some really friendly over-average IQ guys bantering and exchanging witty repartees and generally having a good time. Proving that luck is a significant factor, I actually start out doing pretty good. Within half-an-hour I’ve got the second biggest stack at the table. I think it might also be hard to play against a guy who has little idea what he’s doing; the players can’t predict what kind of crazy irrational shit I might pull. “It’s like playing with a drunk guy,” one of them says of me at one point, not unkindly. To be fair to myself, I do pull off a pretty ballsy re-raise bluff with nothing and then, when the guy folds, show my cards, trying to communicate the betting equivalent of “don’t you know I’m loco?”

“What’s that video you watched?” a player asks, generously complimenting and/or making fun of me. But, of course, inevitably, I go down. I lose confidence, tighten up my play and slowly get whittled away. There’s a screen in the middle of the room that displays information on the game. I lasted an hour and twelve minutes. Out of 28 players, I was the tenth eliminated. But as one of the particularly cool players, a guy named Chuck, tells me: “You don’t wanna be a winner your first time, cuz then you’ll think you’re good.” Confirming that poker is indeed a game of skill, the number one ranked regular—a retired Foreign Service Officer and one-time Ambassador to Peru named Curt—takes first and has $190 counted out to him on the spot. I don’t know about the other table games, where you’re basically guaranteed to lose over the long run doing something that, frankly, doesn’t seem worth it. But this Poker thing is a really good time, if you’re so inclined. Is it a warning sign that I’m already fiending to come back?

Exotic Adventures in Smalltown, USA

by Emiliano Garcia-Sarnoff


complete creative freedom with it.

1078 Gallery Goes Deep This Friday BY HOWL Red Moses (Vocals/Guitar) and Sami Knowles (keys, percussion, vocals) are Callow, a singer-songwriter two-piece from the black depths of the ocean. Often with only one floor tom, Sami will keep a steady percussive pace through entire songs, reminding one of the implacable rise and fall of the tides. Red and his guitar croon over the deep-yet-simplistic music, seeming to explore humanity’s heartache, its soul-searching, and its sorrow. Rarely does Chico get to witness something so honest, simple, and rich as San Francisco’s Callow. It’s kind of like watching a timelapse of clouds skate over a lonely mountain range, and it feels a little bit like Sigur Ros, if they were American and sang with a little bit of cowboy-twang in their voices. This Friday, they’re bringing their highly visual panorama of music to 1078 Gallery, so I had a conversation with them to help Chico get to know Callow. Tell me about your relationship with each other. How did you two meet? How has the music and the writing process changed

from when you first began playing? We met in San Francisco at a party in 2006, but we didn’t start playing music together until the fall of 2009. Sami just sat in last minute at a show in Stockton, CA. She played only a floor tom and cymbal at the time. Since then she has added the rest of the kit and a full size keyboard [she sings too]. Red comes up with the initial song [structure]—lyrics, key, chord progression… but once we start working together, it evolves into something completely different. At this point, it’s a collaboration process that neither of us could pull off without the other. “Strange” is a fantastic song, and holds a lot of the things I like most about Callow. What is it about? What is its music video about? Thank you! There are two videos for Strange now—one is produced by our friends Arielle Kathleen & George Sarris. They wanted to make a video to the song, and they had

The other was produced by Matthew Brown. It’s a story of two friends—one is going crazy, while the other is trying to help him through and be supportive. Both videos explore different visions of Strangeness. The song is about making up for hard times... fixing issues that may have fallen short in the past. Who do you both agree on, in terms of musical influence? Who do you disagree on—Are there any artists one of you loves, and the other despises? We agree on many artists in this respect... Pavement, Pink Floyd, Nina Simone, and Black Heart Procession to name a few. We disagree on plenty of musical things, but there is not a particular artist one of us dislikes and the other loves (not one that comes to mind). If one of us really likes an artist and the other feels differently, the one who likes them will usually help the other see the light on the matter. How did you arrive at this unique, highly

visual “Callow-tone,” and what is this music’s purpose in the grand scheme of the world’s music? We kind of came across this style organically— or, it just happened over time. We were looking to play more emotive, paced music, and we just experimented a lot. Red is constantly working on getting the rich, gritty tones, so that shaped the sound a lot. A sound-man in Reno last month told him he was a tone snob. The two of you were into gardening before Callow. How did that experience inform the music you make now? Well, the only time we like being indoors is when the weather sucks or we’re playing music. Gardening is a task that leaves you a lot of time to think about things. You also have moments with gardening where you’re slashing and destroying. It’s both meditative and intense... as is our sound, I think. Callow comes into Chico this Friday, June 13th, on tour in support of their latest album Blue Spells. Also featuring Slow Motion Drive (Sacto), Fera, and His Dreaded Norman Forces. 1078 Gallery, $5, 8pm.


June Art Report BY MICHELE FRENCH “No color...No brushes, no pencils, no pens, only 3 anyone listening... only this stick, use only this stick...unbelievable... that’s it, you’ve got it” This moment captures “Another unbelievable Wednesday night in Sal’s figure drawing class,” or so says Lorraine Slattery of one of Sal Casa’s figure drawing classes—Casa being the beloved professor emeritus of art at Chico State and nationally recognized water media artist. The “stick” in her quote was a stick used to produce her very fine, loose black and white figure study. All the students had to work with in class that night was a stick, and generous amounts of black ink. By the way, “Unbelievable!” is Sal’s favorite expression. Slattery’s drawing is one of 39 delightful works by Casa’s students in a show titled Out of Class: Out of Casa at the 1078 Gallery until June 21. Among these numbers is a lovely semi-abstract landscape by Leslie Mahon Russo in subtle, almost monochromatic shades of mustard, pale green and blue which are touched, for emphasis, here and there, by splashes of scarlet. Almost every medium there is featured in this show, but two simple, unadorned drawings of a couple of plump gourds in what appears to be charcoal by Marianne Govan were quite arresting. On opening night background music was provided by Robert Karch and Sharon DeMeyer. Karch plays guitar and does vocals while DeMeyer plays the flute. They feature tunes modern and classic, producing a mellow sound that’s of sort a mixture of folk and jazz. The 1078 is located at 820 Broadway and is open Thursday through Saturday 12:30 to 5:30 and for special events.

On The Town 20



The annual show devoted entirely to work of women at the Chico Art Center will be on display until June 13. Contemporary Woman 2014 is a juried show, the juror being Maria Medua, director of the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing, but Medua seemed to favor painters overall and gave the top three awards

to paintings. “Handsome Coffee,” an oil on canvas by Bonnie Lambert took first place. It has the feel of both Edward Hopper and Paul Cezanne with its raw colors, chunky, geometric composition and melancholy atmosphere. A wistful figure stands at the window of a coffee shop looking in at the barista and a patron. The People’s Choice Award, however, went to a digital archival print by Erika Gagnon. “Hopiland” presents a ghostly group of Hopi women in traditional dress and hair style crowded onto a modern highway which cuts through a rocky, barren Southwestern landscape. Crowning the top of a mountain in the distance are ancient dwellings while in the sky above the faint, almost eerie images of another three women appear. The Chico Art Center at 450 Orange St. is open every day from 10am to 4pm. If you want to catch Chico in Black and White at the Chico Museum, you’d better hurry— the show closes on June 30. Many of these images from the historic photo collection of John Nopel are familiar to old-timers, but even if you have seen them before, it’s worth the price of admission ($3.00) to view John Bidwell solemnly seated astride his patient, slightly sad-looking, mule, Linda. The Museum is at the corner of 2nd and Salem and is open Wednesday through Sunday, 12 to 4pm.


Note: This will be the final “Old Crock” published by the Synthesis. Jaime opted not to write a farewell column.

I’m going to get way out of line here and take a position that isn’t currently the “let’s-all-feelgood-about-ourselves” party line of politically correct attitudes. I’m talking about the campaign against “body shaming,” and the accompanying notion that we should smile on our brother, even if he’s gotten too fuckin’ fat to pass through the front door and has been confined to a bed where he spends his days watching Judge Judy and eating ice cream by the half gallon. Like lots of our less appealing emotions, shame has its uses. It may even be necessary for our survival. Even cruelty, as shitty a human attribute as can generally be found, has a place in the mix of emotions that can sometimes stimulate people to action they need to take for their very own good. For a couple of decades now, we’ve been experiencing an epidemic of obesity that has been turning us into a nation of fat fucks, often too damned overweight to get into Walmart to buy cheap shit and bulk quantities of Cheetos unless we’re in a governmentprovided scooter allowing us to avoid ever taking a single step. I’m talking here about people who are in their 30s and even much younger, obscenely obese already, indifferent to their health or their appearance, human pie holes constantly being stuffed with harmful sugars and fats in the most mindlessly gluttonous of ways. But god forbid if our faces should ever twist into a rictus of disapproval for people who’ve eaten themselves into disability, virtually useless hulks of brooding fat barely able to move beyond reaching for their next Big Gulp and Econo-Sized quantities of Pop Tarts.

toward sometimes desperately needed self- improvement. When I see the parade of undulating blubber in Walmart, or Costco, I see lots of shame and depression, wallowing in defeat and apathy that will lead to early death for lots of people, lots of loss for those who love them, and big and unnecessary medical bills for the rest of us to pick up. As I disappear ever more deeply into the forest of age, some old values cling to me that younger people are rejecting. There are things I still think are worth keeping—virtues like self-discipline, a modicum of self respect, a determination to resist personal weakness and self indulgence when such traits are not serving us. As a person who took a little too long to admit a problem with alcohol before, at last, allowing shame to usher me toward sobriety, I think a little “body shaming” may be just what the doctor ordered for some people to assert a little control over their lives, their health, and the hope for better personal futures. And yeah, I know, there are people with thyroid conditions and other anomalies, but the fat fuck brigades are mostly people who can’t get a handle on counting calories, exercise, avoiding processed food, and managing a little healthy self respect. Their obesity meets at the intersection of laziness, correctable ignorance about nutrition, stupidity, and a failure of pride. There’s lots of traffic where those thoroughfares intersect.

Old Crock

by Jaime O'Neill

A little shame can nurse and nudge us


On The Town









The week begins with a certain kind of urgency. You need to get stuff done. Stay conscious as to what belongs to you and what belongs to others. Wednesday and Thursday are likely to be your best days this week. Seek better relationships with neighbors and siblings. Find something to do with your hands that you’re passionate about. Get as much as you can done to finish off old projects. Accept that everyone processes things differently. Be mindful of how you work with other people. The weekend could be romantic or good for new starts.

Life’s simple pleasures are what you love. You feel happier with Venus transiting your first house. Your creative and artistic life feels closer to you. Ideas about beauty and harmony are easier to come by. Much of your focus is on personal values and the things you feel comfortable about. Finances have a way of improving. Friday and Saturday are best for creative as well as romantic endeavors. You feel more playful and generous as well. Communication remains good in spite of Mercury retrograde. You’re in touch with needs versus wants.

You’re still the flavor of the month. Your values have come more into play over the last several days. I would wait until Mercury retrograde is over before buying anything new that wasn’t already a planned purchase, especially after Friday. Finances should remain good. Sunday looks good for travel and exploration. The full moon Thursday is good for romance as well as for getting contracts. Be ready for anything after Friday. Much indicates that there will be a change of mind. If not on your part, on the part of someone else.

Work your best at what you know. This is a good time of year for you to lay low and take care of personal business. Jupiter and Mercury in your sign give you extra luck as well as expanded intelligence. Monday and Tuesday go well for you with the moon transiting your fifth house. Be thankful for the things that are working for you. Your imagination is vivid and full of good ideas. Pay attention to your dreams and the messages that they might contain. Thursday’s full moon brings a chance to get organized as well as to work with others.

Allow your good friends to honor you. This is a time to refine intentions, and to modify future plans. Deal with family issues early in the week. Do what you can to insure domestic tranquility. Wednesday and Thursday are your lucky days, with the full moon being the highlight on Thursday night. Feel the love and spread it while you have it. Try not to take setbacks personally. The weekend looks good for helping others, getting organized, or working with a team on a group project. Could be time for a work party.

You are somewhat in the spotlight. Your services are needed and it’s time to perform. You are often seen as a “jack of all trades” or a “jill of all skill.” Diversify, and your usefulness goes up. Think of every day as showtime. Smile a lot, it makes people wonder what you are up to. Be kind to strangers. View love as a strength rather than a weakness. The full moon may contain news from the home front, or news concerning a mother or grandmother. The weekend helps you to share your creativity, to open your heart more and to feel more generous.







You are in the mood for adventure. Personal desires seem to want to take over this week. Monday and Tuesday are about values and making money. Mars in your first house along with the North Node of the moon amplifies your desires. Venus in the eighth house adds lust into the mix. The full moon Thursday is about communication, friends, and working with your hands. Stay focused on family business as you move into the weekend. By Sunday you’ll be back to your old funloving self. I guess you need to see life from the edge of the world.

If you like the mystery subjects, now is as good a time as any to jump right into it. If subjects like divining rods, tarot decks and palm reading tickle your fancy, now would be the time to study deeply. The sun is transiting your eighth house of occult studies, while Mars is transiting your twelfth house of mysteries and dreams. The moon will be in Scorpio Monday and Tuesday. Your influence is strong as other people may feel hypersensitive. The full moon could bring a material boon. Your values will be made clear for you.

Dual minded Gemini is complemented by single minded you. It’s alright for you to acknowledge both sides of a story. Sometimes the one truth appears isolating and close minded. The moon will be in Sagittarius from 8:23am PDT Wednesday till 10:03am PDT Friday. The moon peaks into Sagittarius fullness Thursday at 9:11pm, just after sunset. Your vision is needed and your story will be heard. The weekend looks good for catching up with finances and preparing marvelous meals. Sing a different song.

Get down to business and get down to work. Make a team effort to move ahead on a group project. Redefine success for yourself. Work on improving old and nagging health issues. Make good karma for yourself by helping with a charitable cause. The full moon highlights dreams and personal places where you feel isolated. Late Friday morning through early Sunday morning the moon will be in Capricorn. Your influence and motivation helps to keep us going. Pace yourself as your workload can pile up this time of year.

Find joy in the simple pleasures of life. Keep on exploring new ways to cultivate happiness. Be generous with time and resources when it comes to projects that benefit the earth as a whole. Love and creativity are at every turn of the road. Broaden your concept as to who and what is acceptable to you. The full moon makes a party or social gathering almost unavoidable for you. Take time to nurture your artistic talents. Be ready for more spontaneous sessions of playfulness and cuddling. As you give, your personal immune system kicks in.

Staying home and watching the kittens is more your speed these days. Your creative resources remain strong. Imagination prevails and repressed memories can be used to enhance the artistic process. The week begins on a positive note for you where risk taking can work in your favor. The full moon rules your career house. Stay focused on your ultimate goal even though emotions could be flying all around you. The weekend looks good for hanging out with friends and revisiting plans for the future.

Koz McKev is on YouTube, on cable 11 BCTV and is heard on 90.1FM KZFR Chico. Also available by appointment for personal horoscopes call (530)891-5147 or e-mail



Synthesis Weekly – June 9, 2014  

Sea Monster | Callow | Drama | June Art Report

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