Synthesis Weekly Oct 28-Nov 3, 2013

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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR SA RA CA LVOSA SARA@SYNTHESIS NET I've been thinking a lot about generation gaps and how my generation fits into the world. I'm of the generation with one foot in the past and one foot right up the ass of the nearest Millenial. We can remember getting trophies for being awesome while getting dick for being a benchwarmer. Our generation is most famous for cynicism and overall apathy. We don't blindly accept anybody's authority, but we understand that we're cogs in a machine and that everything's completely fubar'd. Also, we say "fubar."

• ··e CARE HORROR FOLLICLES SERIAL FINALE

If you notice that things around town are extra beardy in November, it's because the Chico Beard Collective has started their annual Novembeard fund raiser! Do you want to be a follicular philanthropist? Check out our beardtastic interview with Jeremy Votava and Ann Fox(y) to learn how you can get on board the beard train. BEARDS.

www.facebook.com/chicobeardco/Jective

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STORIES OF PURGATORY & PARADISE

It's the exciting conclusion of our threepart horror serial by Sam Kitchen. As usual he brings his special flair for the freaky and weird, and really gives you an ending you'll remember. Liz "Scalding Hot" Coffee illustrates! If you're a slacker and haven't read the first two pieces, check them out at synthesisweek/y.com

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IMMACULATE INFECTION

Literary Field Correspondent to the Insane, Jayme Washburn, interviews local author Jim Lopez about his new book, a collection of short stories called

Abstracts of an American Pageant. Books are available at Jimlopez.org

Right now we're in our mid-30's, and it's time for us to take the world-reins I suppose, but those self-centered oldschool authoritarian baby boomers just don't want to hand anything over until they can be absolutely certain that they can screw us from the grave. And let's face it, we're not in a hurry to be making any decisions; we're content to work the counter at the video store while waiting for the creepy manager to run off with a high-schooler. Ambition is not the hallmark of my generation. I was hoping that successful undermining and subversiveness would be the hallmark of my generation, but it's going to take a really long time to erode the system with mere sarcasm and slacktivism. In the meantime, every annoying thing about life can somehow be traced back to those rotten baby boomers. They can barely use the internet, cell phones are confounding to them, none of them know how to type, and they utterly loathe Millenials (it's a lot like how you hate your mom because you're exactly alike). It's come full-circle. And like a sad middle-child meme, in the center of it all, we've got my generation. Slackers, misfits, sarcastic middle children, adrift in a sea of first-world problems. Anyway, I'm going to embrace my ennui and just streamof-consciousness it and poach my own Facebook page right here :

PAGE 10 SPORTSBALL

When are men going to start wearing gold lame half-shirts again? (Asking for a friend.) Why is Arcade Fire calling themselves The Reflektors? (There is no right answer.) Why don't we have a professional haunted house/haunted corn maze in Chico? Because of police horses. Why does Karen Potter have four mermaid costumes?

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EDIBLE BITS

OLD CROCK

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COMICAL RUMINATIONS

REVIEWS

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Canadian horror movies are a thing. A really weird thing, eh. It's like they feel bad for scaring you so they just stop abruptly at the end of the movie and then the credits are just full of people saying, "sory." I've been watching scary movies all month and nothing I've seen so far has been more disturbing and horrifying than Preachers of L.A. There was another huge earthquake in Japan. Get it together Japan. Counting calories sucks because it's all about self-loathing and math, the two worst things.

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FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

I just want to apologize in advance for my resting bitchface lately. It's not you, it's me. Well it's some of you. (Baby Boo me rs)

OCTOB ER 28 - NOVEMB ER 3, 2013

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