Letter from the Editor
Dear Readers,
I am so honored to have this connection with each of you. As I step further into my “Senior Status” experience, I have begun to recognize several realities that are coattail friends to my over 60 life. I have looked forward to this time of life and prayed that I could truly enjoy the freedoms that aging offers.
Yes, I love the empty nester stage of life; a time when I can enjoy the fruits of over 50 years of marriage to my dear husband, relish in the joy of grown children writing their own life story, bask in the love poured out upon us from grandchildren and great-grandchildren. We can relax in knowing that we can travel on a whim, binge watch our favorite shows without guilt, and happily fix an easy dinner like a fried egg sandwich and no one cares!
Wait, did you just hear the screeching brakes on that unrealistic dream I just shared? I certainly did! My “Senior Status” is very different from what I expected. As a certified “Baby Boomer”, my daily pursuits are nothing like those of my parents. I am healthy (thankfully), have a very active lifestyle, I am still working full time, and am still seeking to accomplish my own “To Do List”.
I recognize that everyone of my readers has his/her own life experiences. What makes this chapter of our lives so great is the ease of immediate communication, the sense of support and common ground among Seniors like never before in history. We have the ability to share with others in our stage of life our joyous experiences, our fears, our alerts to potential danger, and our evergrowing opportunities to love and be loved.
This amazing magazine is for you. We have experts for every step of our journey in these uncharted paths. People who have our challenges in mind and are ready with solutions and suggestions. We have real people who are living this Senior experience with us, and want to share their lessons learned. We want to hear from you, share your funny experience of being admitted into the “SS” (Senior Status) CLUB. At this point, we are all Ageless!
Share this digital magazine with all your friends and neighbors, send in your free subscription info so you are assured you will keep receiving Ageless Magazine quarterly. We love you and look forward to walking through these years together.
Sincerely,
Sylvia Skinner Andersen
Ageless Magazine
First Edition
Copyright © 2024 by Sylvia S. Andersen
Self-published by Sylvia S. Andersen Issue: September 2024
Editor/Publisher
Sylvia S. Andersen sylvia.ultimateevents@gmail.com
Deputy Editor
Sylvia S. Andersen sylvia.ultimateevents@gmail.com
Ageless Magazine is Published by: Village Foundations.org
Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect Ageless Magazine policy.
Ageless Magazine accepts no responsibility for views expressed by its contributors.
Advertisements and reader offers are not endorsed by Ageless Magazine
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FEATURED ARTICLE
Bob’s Story By Sylvia Skinner Andersen
FINANCIAL SECURITY
Why Estate Planning Isn’t Just for the Wealthy By Terry Anderton
HEALTH & FITNESS
More Energy Health
By Michelle R. Lockhart
RELATIONSHIPS
What If? Embracing Grief and Finding New Beginnings By Stan Lockhart
Our Story By Susan Pike Ball and Gaylon Ball
PERSONAL SAFETY
FEATURED ARTICLE
Bob’s Story
By Sylvia Skinner Andersen
It was February 23, 2020, my 43rd Annual OC Home & Garden Show was just closing. The attendance was slower than normal, everything about the show felt different, almost like a pall over the event. The attendees that came were less engaging than usual, I couldn’t figure out the cause, but in a very few days the cause and catastrophic change would become blatantly evident.
March 11, 2020, my 43-year-old company was put out of business for the next two years. My income was abruptly halted, the leads and subsequent income for hundreds of companies that were my vendors…
ended, the companies that serviced my show sites… out of business; and the dominos continued to fall… so many lives and companies affected.
What do I do now? I had no idea how long this would last but surely it would only be a couple of months. It was evident that none of us thought it would last as long as it did. I rescheduled my April show to May, then to September, then to April 2021. Gratefully, I had a clause in our contract that never in my wildest dreams did I believe would ever be used… The Acts of God clause! Is that what this was?
No, it was not, it was a horrible, world-wide pandemic that we still to this day do not have the answers to. The world closed down; grocery store shelves were empty, we wore masks, businesses closed, people could not purchase even the barest of necessities. We could not visit our extended families, friends, there were no holiday gatherings, everything social that we took for granted as our way of life stopped. When we are in the midst of horrible difficulties, it becomes almost impossible to look beyond our own difficult situation to see what others are experiencing. This was truly the case for me at that time.
As each month went by, I remained confident that the forced isolation we were enduring would come to an end. I watched the nightly news praying for any sign of the world returning to some semblance of normalcy. I watched for the loosening of restrictions in any of the locations where I normally did business, which would allow me to reopen my live events, hoping to bring a sign of hope to all my vendors and our guests that attend my events. Nothing, no improvement. Month after month, more masks, more illness, more deaths, more businesses closing their doors forever. Would this, could this, ever end.
My first signs of real hope came when California loosened their grip on live events, enough that if you wore masks, kept a 6 foot separation between attendees, and used copious amounts of hand sanitizer, you could schedule an event! I couldn’t believe it, in September of 2021, I called the OC Fair & Event Center to discuss scheduling a show for the soonest date I could get approval to host an event. I was awarded a date for my Home & Garden Show, February 26-27, 2022. I could finally do a show again.
I got messages out to my regular vendors, called my suppliers, and started creating the outline for the show. In early October 2021, I called one of my longtime vendors, Bob; “Hey Bob, we finally got approval for a show in February! Are you ready to do the gardens again?” Bob paused, I immediately sensed there was a problem, “What’s wrong Bob?”, a long pause…
I immediately knew something was wrong; I asked, “Bob, what’s going on?” The story of what he had experienced during the height of Covid and it was continuing as we spoke. Bob, due to events that were beyond his control, had been living in his car for the past 4 months. I was horrified. Bob, at the time
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I had at least 10 of my vendors come to donate to the fundraiser and tell me that if they lost their job, they would be in the same situation as Bob.
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of our conversation, was 85 years old! I could not even picture this dear man, at his age, trying to live in his car.
I immediately realized that Bob’s situation could not possibly be an isolated case. During the fundraiser I held at our Home & Garden Show in February, I was alerted to the disturbing fact that my fears were confirmed; I had at least 10 of my vendors come to donate to the fundraiser and tell me that if they lost their job, they would be in the same situation as Bob. Gratefully, Bob was able to secure temporary housing in the interim since he is a Veteran.
I founded the non-profit “A Village for Bob, org” whose mission is to build tiny home villages for Seniors all across our Country that are in danger of being unsheltered due to the rising cost of housing. Our Senior population that is part of the “Baby Boomer Generation” is experiencing homelessness in epidemic numbers. These Seniors are among the “working poor”, they have worked all their lives, paid taxes, been engaged in our communities and yet, their plight is going unnoticed and they are gravely underserved.
I am gathering the support of people in all walks of life who want to help. If you want to be part of the solution, reach out to us at ultimateevents365@gmail.com and we will get back to you. We value our senior population and are committed to create safe, very affordable housing all across our Nation. You too, can be part of this Nation-wide effort to make a difference.
Sylvia S. Andersen
CEO Ultimate Events, Inc., Publisher of AGELESS magazine, Author, Public Speaker, Advocate for Women in Leadership, Founder of “A Village for Bob, org”; creating tiny homes for villages for homeless seniors.
Financial Security
Why Estate Planning Isn’t Just for the Wealthy
By Terry Anderton
When the term “estate planning” is mentioned, many people immediately picture grand estates, massive inheritance taxes, and complex legal documents reserved for the ultra-rich. This stereotype, however, is misleading. The reality is that estate planning is crucial for everyone, not just the wealthy. It’s about ensuring that your legacy is handled according to your wishes and providing clarity and protection for your loved ones, regardless of the size of your estate.
Understanding Estate Planning
Estate planning involves the process of organizing and managing your personal and financial affairs to ensure that your assets are distributed according to your desires after your death, and that your affairs are handled properly if you become incapacitated. This process encompasses creating various documents such as wills, trusts, and health care directives. Each of these elements plays a critical role in managing your estate effectively and reducing potential conflicts among your loved ones.
A Will
A will is one of the foundational documents in estate planning. It specifies how your assets should be distributed after your death and names guardians for minor children. It also addresses other personal matters, including who will handle your estate and how any debts and expenses should be paid. Without a will, your estate is distributed according to state laws, which may not align with your personal wishes. This can lead to lengthy legal battles and potential disputes among family members, highlighting the importance of having a will in place to ensure your desires are respected.
Trusts
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Estate planning is often perceived as a financial and legal necessity, but it is also a profound act of love. It involves ensuring that your loved ones are cared for and your wishes are respected.
”
Trusts are another essential component of estate planning. A trust is a legal arrangement where a trustee manages your assets on behalf of your beneficiaries. This can help avoid probate—a legal process that can be lengthy, public, and costly. By using a trust, you can facilitate smoother transfers of assets, preserve privacy, and provide more control over how and when your assets are distributed. Trusts can be tailored to meet specific needs, such as providing for minor children or managing assets for beneficiaries who may not be financially responsible.
Durable Power of Attorney
A durable power of attorney designates someone to manage your financial affairs if you become incapacitated. This ensures that your financial matters are handled according to your wishes when you are unable to manage them yourself. Without this document, your financial affairs might be managed by someone appointed by the court, which might not align with your preferences.
Health Care Directives
Health care directives, also known as living wills, outline your preferences for medical treatment and appoint someone to make healthcare decisions on your behalf if you are incapacitated. These directives ensure that your medical care aligns with your wishes and can prevent family members or medical professionals from making decisions that do not reflect your preferences. This document is essential for ensuring that your healthcare choices are respected when you are no longer able to communicate them yourself.
Beneficiary Designations
Beneficiary designations specify who will inherit particular assets, such as your home or vehicles. These designations often override the instructions in your will, so it is important to keep them updated and consistent with your overall estate plan. Failure to update beneficiary designations can lead to unintended consequences, such as assets being distributed to individuals you no longer wish to include.
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Why Estate Planning Matters for Everyone
Estate planning is not just for the wealthy. Here are several compelling reasons why estate planning is essential for everyone:
1. Protecting Your Loved Ones
Without an estate plan, the distribution of your assets and the care of your children are left to the court system. State laws will dictate these decisions, which may not reflect your personal wishes. Estate planning allows you to designate guardians for your children, manage your assets, and specify how your estate should be distributed. This proactive approach helps to minimize disputes and ensures that your wishes are honored, providing peace of mind for both you and your loved ones.
2. Avoiding Probate
Probate is the legal process through which a deceased person’s estate is administered. This process can be time-consuming, expensive, and public. A well-crafted estate plan, including tools like trusts, can help minimize the probate process. Trusts facilitate smoother transfers of assets, preserve privacy, and expedite the distribution process. By incorporating trusts into your estate plan, you can avoid the delays and costs associated with probate, making the transition easier for your beneficiaries.
Technology has revolutionized estate planning, making it more accessible and efficient. ”
3. Making Healthcare Decisions
In the event of incapacitation, having a health care directive ensures that your medical preferences are respected. Without such directives, family members or medical professionals might make decisions that do not align with your wishes. A health care directive allows you to specify your treatment preferences and appoint someone you trust to make decisions on your behalf. This document is crucial for maintaining control over your medical care and ensuring that your healthcare choices are honored.
4. Securing Financial Clarity
Even if your estate isn’t substantial, it’s important to clarify how your assets—whether a home, savings, or sentimental items—should be distributed. Estate planning helps prevent potential disputes among family members, ensures that your assets are distributed according to your wishes, and provides a plan for managing your affairs if you become unable to do so yourself. By having a clear estate plan, you can avoid confusion and provide guidance for your loved ones during a difficult time.
5. Managing Digital Assets
In today’s digital age, your estate includes not only physical assets but also digital accounts, social media profiles, and online content. Estate planning now encompasses managing these digital assets to ensure your online presence and digital content are handled according to your wishes after your death. This includes providing access to online accounts, managing digital currencies, and ensuring that your digital legacy is preserved. With the growing importance of digital assets, including them in your estate plan is essential for a comprehensive approach to estate planning.
Embracing Modern Estate Planning Tools – Digital Estate Plan
Technology has revolutionized estate planning, making it more accessible and efficient. Digital estate planning platforms simplify the process of creating, updating, and managing your estate plan, ensuring both physical and digital assets are protected and current. Here are some ways in which modern technology is enhancing estate planning:
User-Friendly Platforms
Many online estate planning tools feature userfriendly interfaces that guide you through the planning process. These platforms make it easier to create and update your documents, allowing you to manage your estate plan with minimal effort. The intuitive design of these tools helps users navigate complex estate planning concepts and create comprehensive plans tailored to their needs.
Accessibility and Cost-Effectiveness
Digital platforms are available 24/7, enabling you to work on your estate plan at your convenience without needing multiple in-person meetings. They often provide more affordable options compared to traditional services, making estate planning accessible to a broader audience. By eliminating the need for expensive in-person consultations, digital tools make it possible for more individuals and families to engage in estate planning and secure their futures.
Secure Document Management
Online platforms employ advanced encryption to protect your sensitive information, ensuring that your estate planning documents are secure from unauthorized access. Cloud storage allows you to safely store your documents and access them from anywhere, offering peace of mind and convenience. The use of secure, cloud-based storage solutions helps to safeguard your documents and ensures that they are readily available when needed.
Personalized Planning
Digital tools offer customizable templates that allow you to tailor your documents to fit your specific needs. This personalization ensures that your estate plan accurately reflects your circumstances, whether you’re managing a young family or complex assets. Customizable templates allow for flexibility in addressing unique situations, such as providing for special needs dependents or managing multiple properties.
Real-Time Updates
Technology facilitates real-time updates and notifications, ensuring that your estate plan remains relevant as your life circumstances change. Automatic reminders and dynamic updates help keep your plan current with minimal effort. These features are particularly useful for addressing changes in your life, such as marriage, divorce, or the birth of a child, and ensuring that your estate plan evolves with your needs.
Expert Support
Many online platforms provide access to estate planning professionals for advice and clarification. Comprehensive educational resources,
including articles and videos, help you understand estate planning concepts and make informed decisions. Having access to expert support and educational materials helps you navigate the complexities of estate planning and ensures that you make well-informed choices.
An Act of Love
Estate planning is often perceived as a financial and legal necessity, but it is also a profound act of love. It involves ensuring that your loved ones are cared for and your wishes are respected. By taking control of your estate planning, you are not only organizing your assets and healthcare decisions but also providing peace of mind and preserving your legacy in a manner that reflects your values and priorities.
Effective estate planning is about more than just managing assets; it’s about making sure that those you care about are supported and that your values are upheld after your passing. It’s an opportunity to leave a legacy that reflects your priorities and the things you hold dear. Whether it’s through providing for your family, supporting charitable causes, or ensuring that your personal wishes are honored, estate planning is an act of love and consideration for those you leave behind.
Don’t wait until it’s too late to begin estate planning. Regardless of the size of your estate, thoughtful planning can have a significant impact on you and your loved ones’ future. Embrace modern estate planning tools to simplify the process and ensure that both your physical and digital legacies are protected.
Terry Anderton
Co-founder and President of LVED, a company revolutionizing legacy and estate planning with cutting-edge technology to ensure wishes are honored while addressing modern digital challenges. With 25+ years in tech leadership, Anderton has raised over $100M in venture capital and achieved $500M+ in exits. He also founded Wagz® Inc., NitroSecurity (acquired by Intel), Trunity (taken public), and Gemr. Anderton holds a BS in Organizational Behavior and his innovative work continues to make significant impacts across multiple industries.
Ageless
Health & Fitness
More Energy Health
By Michelle R. Lockhart
During the recent Olympic games, the pharmaceutical company Eli Lilly had a series of commercials. The tagline was, “Since you only get one body, let’s fight like hell for it.” As we age, this fight becomes harder and more complex, and the stakes are higher. Yet, the reward of fighting like hell is astronomical. The payoff is a quality of life that matches how much time we get on this planet. Turning our bodies into an asset verses a liability requires skills in four main areas: mindset, nutrition, movement, and rest. This series of articles will help you to be more intentional in each of these areas of personal self-care.
Mindset
There are some universal truths about taking care of our body: eat healthy food, get regular exercise, manage stress, and get enough sleep. We are all inundated with these truths and understand their importance. So why don’t we do the things that we know we should be doing? Dr. Peter Attia, a longevity expert explains: “We have a hardwired bias for the immediate. Given a choice between a reward now or a reward in the future, humans tend to choose the present, even when they know the future reward would be substantially larger. It’s a phenomenon of behavioral economics known as “hyperbolic discounting” – in our minds, we discount the value of the
future reward. And the greater the delay, the greater the discount.” In other words, our brains are wired for immediate gratification.
Hyperbolic discounting is an example of cognitive bias. It can make sense in that what is in front of you right now is a sure thing, where what lies in the future is far from certain. Giving up a candy bar now does not ensure you will lose weight or be healthier in the future. So why not eat the candy bar, right? It may seem impossible to override this cognitive bias, but by recognizing our inherent bias toward immediate payoffs, we can develop strategies to counteract hyperbolic discounting or even use it to our advantage.
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Recognizing our inherent bias toward immediate payoffs, we can develop strategies to counteract hyperbolic discounting or even use it to our advantage. ”
It has to start with a plan
Make a health plan. This involves setting a long-term outcome goal, defining the skills needed to reach that goal, deciding what practices need to be done to gain those skills and outlining the daily activities you need to master for those practices.
• Outcome goal: Outcome goals are the tangible results of actions and behaviors. You cannot directly control whether you achieve outcome goals. Choose one outcome goal (see example below).
• Skills: A skill is an ability, competency, and/or capacity that you need in order to move in the direction of your goal. A skill reflects the power to do something. Don’t confuse a skill with information or knowledge. Skills take time and practice to develop. Each outcome goal will require one or more skills.
• Practices: These are sometimes called the behavior goals. A practice involves exercises and applications that help build the skills. You have control of your practice. Each skill will require one or more practices.
• Actions: We break practices into actions: very small, specific, concrete tasks that you can easily do daily or as often as needed. Repeated over time, these actions become habits. Each practice will require one or more actions.
A complete health plan may look like this:
Example:
• Outcome goal: I have a body that is active and healthy so I can fully participate in and enjoy my golden years with those I love.
• Skills: Mindset, nutrition, exercise, rest
• Practices: (Nutrition)-Hydrate adequately every day
• Action: Buy a water bottle I love by next Wednesday
Note: Only choose to work on 2-3 actions at a time. To start, choose actions that are either easy and will give you a quick win, or choose one that will make a huge impact. Be sure to change your practices and actions as you experiment, learn more and progress.
Here are some other strategic ideas:
1. Build in quick rewards. Working on the actions, or incremental goals, offers a quick sense of accomplishment. Once you achieve an action, repeat with another one, and then another. Soon you have practices that are habits and developed skills which bring you to your outcome goal. You can hack hyperbolic discounting by
creating more immediate rewards for yourself. Money can be a huge motivator. Every time you do your action, place money into a fund that is specified for something you really want to do. Many of my clients fund an active vacation to motivate healthy behaviors. Choose rewards that will motivate you and be sure they don’t completely undercut the benefits from your good choices.
2. Precommitment. When we precommit to certain behaviors or choices, we lock ourselves into good decisions making it more difficult to choose immediate gratification. Examples include:
– Paying in advance for fitness classes or coaching sessions
– Planning a full week’s menu and only buying the food needed for that menu
– Working with a friend or in a group to keep each other accountable
– Getting all the holiday treats out of the house immediately after the holiday
– Signing up and paying for an event such as a race or an active vacation that requires a higher level of fitness
3. It is never all or nothing. Every single good choice made adds to the increased health of your body. You never have to be 100%. You don’t have to be perfect. Being 10% better or 80% better is still better. Just do better. Avoid doing absolutely nothing and you will continually make progress. Some days 10% will be the best you can do. On days when 80% is possible, do it.
4. Self-talk. Your brain is hard wired to protect you physically, mentally, and emotionally. It does not want you to get hurt in any way. Because of this, it tends to tell you things that are not true. Your brain will tell you many negative things about yourself. When your brain tells you a lie, tell your brain to shut up! Change the negative self-talk with positivity. Tell yourself you are wonderful (you are). List things you are grateful for. Change the chatter in your head to a more positive, helpful tone.
5. It is never too late. It does not matter how old you are or what your current health is. It is never too late to add healthy habits to your life. Anything you add (or take away) that impacts your health will impact it immediately. If you reach for an apple and cheese for a snack instead of an instant pudding and a Diet Coke, you
will feel better, and your body will perform better. You may not be able to reverse irreversible conditions, but you can improve how you feel in the moment with healthy choices.
The best way to get started toward more healthy behaviors is to get started. Today is the best day to choose to do better. You likely do many healthy behaviors already. Perhaps begin by making a list of the things you already do that are healthy and work to add to that list. Or perhaps you start by making a health plan of your own and choose an action to crush. It doesn’t matter what you do first, just get started. Remember that mindset is a powerful thing. Repeat after me: “I am a healthy person and I am fighting like hell for my body.”
The next article in this series will be about nutrition. Stay tuned for practices and actions you can do to better nourish your body.
Michelle, a Registered Nurse since 1986, worked 25 years in trauma, ER and ICU. She wrote curriculum and taught at Chesterfield Technical School, Brigham Young UniversityIdaho and the Medical College of Virginia/Virginia Commonwealth University dental school. After her husband passed away, she became a Therapeutic Nutrition Practitioner, Board Certified Health and Well-being Coach and a Certified Personal Trainer. She owns MoreEnergy and focuses on helping people improve their health with life-style elevation.
Michelle Lockhart
Ageless
Relationships
What If? Embracing Grief and Finding New Beginnings
By Stan Lockhart
What if? That was the question I asked my wife Becky as we were driving home from a neighbor’s funeral. Our neighbor was diagnosed with cancer just weeks before she passed away. She left behind six little ones and a husband.
Becky played along. She answered, “Stan, if I die, you will have to get married again soon because you won’t survive without me.” We laughed.
“So how about if I die?” I asked. She responded, “I don’t think I’ll get married again. You are such a pain
in the neck I don’t think I will want that again.” We laughed some more. I asked, “What will you do?”
“She thought for a minute and said, “I think I’ll take your life insurance money and go on cruises with my friends.” More laughing.
That playful banter became a lifeline for me just a few short years later when, in 60 days, Becky went from being a strong healthy mom of 3 and Utah’s first female Speaker of the House of Representatives to passing away. She was only 46 years old.
The first symptom Becky had was a case of vertigo. We were told she had a wintertime virus. Becky always said when we didn’t feel well, “Take an Advil, buck up, and move on.” She followed her own advice. Next came memory loss and then a dayby-day deterioration of her cognitive abilities and motor skills. After a battery of tests, a specialist sent her to the hospital, where we were given the diagnosis of CreutzfeldtJakob disease (CJD), or in other words, Alzheimer’s on steroids. No treatment. Always fatal. Eleven days later, Becky was gone.
Except for the “what if” moment, we hadn’t considered what to do if one of us died. It never occurred to us that it would happen. We were busy living. Our thoughts were on life, family, and daily challenges. Dying was something you do when you were finished living.
Now that she was gone I was unprepared. Unprepared for grief that comes in intense waves over and over again. Unprepared for my heart hurting as if it would literally break. Unprepared for the inability to sleep and eat. Unprepared for
below optimal performance each day. Unprepared for loneliness and yearning for my wife. Unprepared for my brain constantly asking why.
Losing my wife was like the scene in Indiana Jones Temple of Doom when the antagonist has a victim in a cage over a lava pit and he reaches in and yanks a still beating heart out of their chest. There were times when I thought my heart was breaking, like time to call 911! Shock, pain, brain fog, loneliness, insomnia, numbness, depression, ambivalence, exhaustion and really just being lost without her;
that was my life for many months after she died.
I felt like the description of C.S. Lewis in the introduction to his book Grief Observed, “This book is a man naked in his own Gethsemane. It tells of the agony and the emptiness of a grief such as few of us have to bear, for the greater the love the greater the grief, and the stronger the faith the more savagely will Satan storm its fortress.”
I mourned the loss of my wife and my children’s mother. I mourned
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Our thoughts were on life, family, and daily challenges. Dying was something you do when you were finished living ”
our lost future together. I mourned for my own future. I cried often and deeply as the waves of grief crashed around me frequently and intensely. I asked why. A question of circular logic that always leads back to why.
In the years after Becky died, I have learned how to navigate life without my wife of 26 years and the constant grief that accompanies that loss. The night of Becky’s death, three widower neighbors came to visit me. They told me how hard my grief journey was going to be. They gave me advice that was helpful and meaningful. I would like to share some of their advice as well as some of the things I have learned through my journey.
Allow yourself time and space to
grieve.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve. There are no time limits. It is ok to feel deeply all the feelings you are feeling: disbelief, anger, pity, regret, pain. Allow yourself the time to fully
work through these emotions. Don’t expect too much from yourself too soon. Only do those things that are absolutely necessary. Let others help you with things you just can’t do on your own.
Join a grief support group.
One of the widowers introduced me to a Facebook group called LDS Widows and Widowers. It is a faithbased group that hosts conferences, get togethers and provides a place to talk about where you are in your grief journey and to get love and support from others going through the same things you are. This has been and incredibly helpful resource for me.
Talk to your departed loved one
One of the most cathartic things I did was talk to my wife. When the waves of grief randomly hit me, I’d cry, then talk to my wife, then pray to God and then I would continue
with my day. Being able to vocalize what I would have said to her if she had been there helped me to sort out my thoughts and feelings and helped me feel near to her.
Remember that death Is part of life
One of the most impactful thing I have learned is that death is as much a part of life as birth. All couples are going to have one stay and one go. We hope it’s in our 90s, but the reality is it’ll happen a lot sooner for most of us. There are so many more widows and widowers than I ever thought there were before I joined them. Understanding that death is a part of life and that I am not the only person who has lost someone I love deeply helps me to cope with my loss better.
Get up every day and face the world
Early in my grief support group, a widow wrote that she was four
years into it and still had trouble getting out of bed in the morning and rarely left her house. Her words gave me motivation to get up every day and face the world. Every time I felt sorry for myself or found myself vegetating, I remembered that well meaning lady and got up and did something productive. It was a rallying cry for me each day. Slowly over time and by the grace of God, it got easier.
Today it’s been almost 10 years. I have a new purpose in life. I’m remarried. I met my current wife in our widow grief support group. Our blended family has seven children and 13 grandchildren. We love each other. We have a great life together. We both miss our late spouses. We often talk about them and what it will be like on the other side. We have lots of questions for God. And like all couples, one of us is staying and one is going. We just don’t know who or when.
Stan Lockhart
Founder of The Lockhart Group Utah, where his team helps clients strategize, plan and implement government engagement. Stan has served on Provo City Council, Utah State Board of Education and Chair of the Utah Republican Party. His late wife Becky was Utah Speaker of the House. 10 years ago, Becky died from Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease (CJD). Today Stan is remarried to Michelle and they have a blended family of seven children and 13 grandchildren.
Our
By Susan Pike Ball and Gaylon Ball
Story
Susan’s Thoughts
Oh, where do I start? I was married to my late husband for 52 years. I had an awesome marriage. We were sealed (married in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints Los Angeles Temple) for all eternity, not till death do we part.
I was never going to remarry. I had incredible friends and a busy life. My daughter, Kelly, would come to Arizona to visit me. She would take the train from LA to San Bernardino. I would meet her there or her Uncle Gary would pick her up and bring her to Quartzite. She brought me much comfort as did my Shih Tzu dog, Sammy.
My now husband, Gaylon, was looking for a wife; seems like men need a woman soon after their wife passes more than women need a man. His daughter and her husband were praying and fasting to find a suitable mate for him. My name came up. His son-in-law had heard on the AP that Jim had passed. He called my good friend, who was like a second mother to him, to ask how old I was and to send a picture. Ben showed it to Gaylon. He called me and said, “I guess there are few people that think we should meet!”
I was driving to Provo, Utah to take Jim’s gold records and prized memorabilia to go in the Archives at BYU. Gaylon and I were set up on a blind date. The rest is history. He proposed to me after five weeks. We waited six months to marry. Our marriage was very interesting early on. We came from different life styles, different cultures. With prayer and professional help, we have solved any issues that were there. We love each other dearly and grow closer and love each other more each day.
Who would have thought!
With that said, knowing what I know now, there are a few things I would suggest to anyone who may be considering a marriage in their senior years.
There are things that gratefully, we both had addressed before our marriage, and some important issues we discovered should have been addressed before we married.
• Grieving period has passed
• Sufficient courting period
• Pre-nuptial agreement
• Consider each other’s differences
• Merging families
• Asset ownership for each
• Health consideration
• Lifestyle differences
• Where would they live
• Willingness to utilize professional counseling if needed
• Religious beliefs & activity
• Bank accounts/Joint or separate
• Credit cards/Joint or separate
While we recognize each couple is different with differing points of view on these subjects, the important point is; we highly recommend you use this list as a reminder that these issues, once openly discussed and an agreement made, you can move forward with a clear understanding of how you both wish to handle such make-or-break subjects. You may also find there are subjects you want to add to this list. Do so, it is important to your future success as a couple.
Gaylon’s Thoughts
Losing a partner after over 50 years of marriage is a trauma none of us is ready for. It doesn’t matter how the person was lost; it still hurts. There is a missing part of your life that you were used to that is no longer there... after 50 or so years you have a rhythm that is just taken for granted, that is just there in every aspect of your life in every way. That interrupted rhythm leaves a large gaping hole in your well-being and happiness. So, your first desire is to replace that feeling as soon as you can.
It is important to talk to your spouse about what will happen when one of you leaves permanently. Talking about it is the best way of having some peace when the ultimate end of life experience happens or even how to address a lingering illness. With us, it was a few years of fighting illness during which time we discussed the possibility and frankly, the necessity of me remarrying. She even made some suggestions about whom she thought would be good for me. The bottom line is simply put; men need a partner and women are generally not as eager to replace their partner.
The search began almost immediately for me to find a partner, it was in earnest. She even told the children that I would need to get married as soon as possible after her passing. So, as I should have, I made it a matter of prayer and fasting; a lot of prayer and fasting to find the girl Heavenly Father had prepared for me. Hopefully for the rest of my life.
You really should put the Almighty in your intentions after the passing of your life partner. Exercise faith that someone will be made known to you as soon as it is best for both of you. I never went online because I was confident in the prayer process and trusted the Lord that I would be led to the right person at the right time. The online source is good for some to find a larger field of possibilities, but that was not for me.
Of course, a life time of work and creating wealth together means you will want to have a prenuptial agreement drafted for your assets. Usually, a sound agreement will cost around $13K, this protects your children’s inheritance and your future spouse’s assets for his/her family.
The importance of this is more for both of your heirs to relax and not feel any kind of hidden resentment for the new partner.
Discuss where you both will live; his home or hers. Many times, it is good to have options, keep both houses given the time is right. It is also good for your spouse to have a place to go to when your life ends, so you may want to have two houses
Everyone should plan for life without their partner, it is a reality of life. Proper planning will make the sadness and transition easier. Everyone’s situation is different, so think and plan as far out as you can.
You can definitely find love again and it can be wonderful again. Have faith and hope in your future.
Susan Pike Ball and Gaylon Ball
Ageless
Safety
Senior Safety Tips When You Live at Home
Home Safety Checklist Sourced From US News & World Report Article by By Payton Sy, RN
By Sylvia Andersen
It only takes a few small changes to make a safer living environment. Here are some tips.
1. Create a support system.
2. Set up grocery delivery.
3. Create an emergency response system.
4. Safety-proof your general living space.
5. Safety-proof your bathroom.
6. Safety-proof your kitchen.
7. Use technology to your advantage.
8. Visit the doctor regularly.
1. Create a Support System
Create a list of neighbors, family, friends that are nearby who could come to your aid if needed. Have regular communication with them, if you are living alone, make sure your medical support team is aware of that.
Example: Susan Smith- 303. 777.7777 neighbor next door
Mike Jones- 303. 888.8888. son work number 303. 822.2222
And so on. Have a list of at least 5 names, their relationship, phone number
2. Set up Grocery Delivery
Most Grocery Stores, Pharmacies, Restaurants have delivery services or there are companies like GrubHub
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Taking a few extra precautions can make your home safer, allowing you to gracefully age ”
and DoorDash that can fill this need. Set up accounts with each one of them to make sure you can get fresh food items, medicine, and fast food when needed, particularly if you no longer drive.
3. Create an Emergency Response system
Upon checking for an ERS product for my husband, I discovered that most Medicare Packages cover paying for an ERS product when needed, particularly if you live alone. Check into the various types, providers, and options available to you to determine what type best meets your lifestyle needs. Having one of these alert products with you could save your life. Do not depend on your cell phone to be the only alert system you have available to you in case of an emergency.
4. Safety-Proof your General Living Space
Remove trip and fall hazards. Falls are one of the most common injuries resulting in hip and wrist fractures, Chamberlain says. Remove throw rugs, or make sure the edges are well-secured. Smith also suggests organizing and hiding any exposed cables or wires that could be a trip hazard. Try adding a colorful strip of tape around the edges of your stairs to make it easier to see where the step ends.
Brighten up your home. Nightlights in the bedrooms, hallways, stairs and bathrooms can be helpful in maintaining safety, especially when traversing the house at night.
Make other small renovations. Consider changing door or faucet knobs to lever handles, which are easier for those
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Do not depend on your cell phone to be the only alert system you have available to you in case of an emergency. ”
with conditions like arthritis or if you have difficulty with grip.
Keep non-slip shoes nearby. Chamberlain suggests shoes with a back on them, rather than a slipper or clog-type of footwear. Place a pair of non-slip shoes by your bed or living room to remind you to keep them on while at home.
5. Safety-proof your bathroom
Bathing is one of the most common culprits of falls due to the wet, slippery environment, Chamberlain says. To make bathing and daily activities in your bathroom safer, try:
• Installing grab bars near the toilet, bathtub or shower.
• Using a shower bench or shower chair.
• Adding non-skid mats to your shower, bathtub and areas around your sink and bathtub.
6. Safety-proof your kitchen
Home safety for the elderly shouldn’t overlook the kitchen and dining space. To make the kitchen a safer area:
• Make everyday items accessible, Smith says. Try adding step stools near frequently accessed high-up areas.
• Keep your frequently accessed cooking items and utensils where you can easily reach them.
• Consider getting a chair in the kitchen so you can cook while seated or take breaks, the National Institute on Aging suggests.
7. Use technology to your advantage
Technology can be a great resource for home safety for the elderly.
Smart devices are electronic gadgets that are connected to the internet.
Even seemingly everyday objects, like light switches or fridges, can be “smart,” meaning they can perform tasks that their rudimentary versions aren’t able to, such as switching on automatically or giving you reminder notifications.
For example, smart devices have the capability to:
• Adjust lighting autonomously, keeping your home well-lit and easier to navigate.
• Control your thermostat so you don’t have to get up in the middle of the night to make an adjustment.
• Answer phone calls so you don’t have to rush to your landline and risk falling.
8. Visit the doctor regularly
Frequent falls or near-falls may be a sign of other health conditions, like medication side effects, declining cognition or blood pressure issues. Keep up with your medical appoint-
ments so any of these root causes can be addressed. Don’t hesitate to request a physical or occupational therapist referral for a home assessment to ensure your home is as safe as possible.
The Bottom Line
Taking a few extra precautions to follow an elderly home safety checklist can make your home safer, allowing you to gracefully age in place for as long as possible. If you want to know more about home safety for the elderly, talk with your primary care provider, senior care provider or an occupational or physical therapist.
Sylvia S. Andersen
CEO Ultimate Events, Inc., Publisher of AGELESS magazine, Author, Public Speaker, Advocate for Women in Leadership, Founder of “A Village for Bob, org”; creating tiny homes for villages for homeless seniors.
Medicare Updates
Looking Ahead: Changes to Medicare & Part D Coverage in 2025
By Bryson Millikin
As we approach 2025, Medicare and its prescription drug coverage, Medicare Part D, are undergoing significant changes that will impact millions of Americans. These adjustments aim to enhance coverage, improve affordability, and streamline enrollment processes, all while ensuring beneficiaries have access to essential healthcare services.
Here’s a comprehensive overview of what to expect:
Expansion of Medicare Part D Coverage
Starting in 2025, Medicare Part D will undergo enhancements aimed at providing broader coverage for prescription drugs. This includes expanding access to medications crucial for managing chronic conditions, thereby reducing out-ofpocket costs for beneficiaries who rely on multiple prescriptions. Additionally, there will be a focus on increasing availability and affordability of generic drugs, promoting cost savings without compromising on quality.
Improvements in Medicare Advantage Plans
Medicare Advantage plans, which offer an alternative way to receive Medicare benefits through private insurers, will see revisions aimed at improving transparency and access to healthcare services. Changes include clearer information on coverage and costs for beneficiaries, as well as improvements in network adequacy standards to ensure comprehensive access to healthcare providers and facilities.
Financial Support for LowIncome Beneficiaries
To address disparities in healthcare access, Medicare will increase financial support for low-income beneficiaries. This involves expanding eligibility for programs that assist with premiums, deductibles, and other out-of-pocket expenses, ultimately aiming to make healthcare more affordable and accessible for vulnerable populations.
Streamlined Enrollment Processes
Medicare is set to streamline enrollment processes, making it easier for beneficiaries to access and understand their healthcare options. This
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The expansion of Medicare Part D aims to reduce out-of-pocket costs for beneficiaries who rely on multiple prescriptions
includes simplifying enrollment procedures and enhancing online tools to guide individuals through their Medicare choices, thereby reducing administrative barriers and ensuring efficient access to coverage.
Educational Initiatives and Outreach
In conjunction with these policy changes, Medicare will launch educational initiatives to inform beneficiaries about their coverage options and the impact of upcoming revisions. These initiatives aim to empower individuals to make informed decisions regarding their healthcare, promote proactive healthcare management, and maximize the benefits available through Medicare.
Looking Ahead
These changes represent a proactive approach to enhancing Medicare and Part D coverage, with a focus on accessibility, affordability, and quality of care. Whether you’re currently
enrolled in Medicare or will be eligible soon, staying informed about these updates is crucial to maximizing your healthcare benefits.
By embracing these reforms, Medicare aims to adapt to the evolving needs of its beneficiaries while upholding its commitment to providing comprehensive and accessible healthcare coverage. As these changes take effect, they hold the potential to significantly improve the healthcare experience for millions of Americans, ensuring that Medicare remains a cornerstone of our nation’s healthcare system well into the future.
For an independent perspective on how these upcoming changes may impact you, contact Bryson Millikin at (801) 707-9847 or visit www.akamaiadvisors.com
Bryson Millikin
With more than 2 decades in the insurance industry, Bryson brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to the teams he leads. He specializes in health and life insurance products and is a paraplanner to Grace with Akamai investment clients. Throughout his career, he has focused on creating holistic financial plans for families nearing retirement, offering strategies that encompass investments, income planning, tax planning/preparation and insurance.
Travel & Events Ageless
Exploring the World in Your Golden Years: A Senior’s Guide to Travel
By Juliane Raleigh
Travel is often seen as a young person’s game, filled with adventure, spontaneity, and boundless energy. But the truth is, travel is for everyone, and it can be especially rewarding for seniors. With more time on your hands, fewer responsibilities, and a wealth of life experience, your golden years are the perfect time to explore the world. Whether you’re a seasoned traveler or someone who hasn’t ventured far from home, it’s never too late to start planning your next adventure. This article will guide you through the essentials of senior travel, from where to start if you haven’t traveled much, to finding companies that cater to your needs, and the wonderful opportunities available to you.
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By taking the time to plan carefully, you can make the most of your golden years and create memories that will last a lifetime ”
Where to Start: Overcoming Initial Hurdles; 4 things to consider
For seniors who haven’t traveled much, the idea of setting off on a trip can be both exciting and daunting. The key to getting started is to take things one step at a time.
1. Assess Your Interests and Comfort Level Start by reflecting on what type of travel appeals to you. Are you interested in cultural experiences, nature, history, or relaxation? Understanding your preferences will help you choose destinations and travel styles that are right for you.
2. Consider Your Health and Mobility It’s essential to consider your physical abilities and health conditions when planning a trip. Some destinations may require more physical exertion, while others are more accommodating
to mobility challenges. Consult your doctor to ensure you’re fit to travel and to get advice on managing any health concerns while on the road.
3. Start Small If the idea of international travel feels overwhelming, consider starting with a short trip close to home. A weekend getaway or a road trip can be a great way to ease into the world of travel without the stress of long flights or foreign languages.
4. Educate Yourself Take the time to research your destination. Understanding the local culture, language, and customs will not only enrich your experience but also help you feel more confident as you travel. Many seniors find that joining a travel group or attending informational seminars can be a helpful way to learn and meet like-minded individuals.
Finding Senior-Friendly Travel Companies
Once you’re ready to venture out, the next step is to find a travel company that understands and caters to the needs of senior travelers.
1. Tour Companies Offering Senior Discounts Many mainstream travel companies offer discounts and special packages for travelers over 55. A Travel Advisor can help with the often-overwhelming choices of companies that offer special packages for seniors. For example, companies that offer flexible payment plans, single traveler accommodations and cancellation policies that accommodate seniors.
2. Tailored for Seniors Cruising is an excellent option for seniors, offering the convenience of unpacking once while visiting multiple destinations. Cruise lines
like Princess, Cunard, Holland America, Celebrity, Viking, AMA Waterways, American Cruise Line and MSC Cruise Lines are known for their senior-friendly amenities, including accessible cabins, health and wellness programs, and tailored shore excursions. Many cruises also offer onboard medical staff and dietary accommodations, making it a comfortable option for those with specific health needs. There are many cruise lines to choose from so a Travel Advisor will be able to be there every step of the way from choosing a cruise line, choosing an itinerary, booking and managing your cruise so you can sit back and relax knowing that someone has your back and is taking care of all the details.
3. Online Resources and Senior Travel Communities The internet is a valuable resource for finding senior-friendly travel options.
Joining online travel communities or forums for seniors can also provide inspiration and practical advice from those who have been there before.
Travel Options for Seniors
The travel industry offers a wide range of options tailored to the senior community, from leisurely tours to adventurous expeditions.
1. Guided Tours Guided tours are a popular choice for seniors, offering the security of a planned itinerary and the expertise of a knowledgeable guide. These tours often include transportation, accommodations, and meals, making them a hassle-free option. Whether you’re interested in exploring Europe’s historic cities, the natural wonders of the American Southwest, or the rich culture of Asia, there’s a guided tour to suit your interests. A Travel Advisor will be able to help guide
you and help you book a tour to suit your needs.
2. Solo Travel for Seniors Solo travel is becoming increasingly popular among seniors, offering the freedom to explore at your own pace. Many travel companies offer solo traveler packages, which include accommodations in single rooms or the option to share a room with another solo traveler. For those who prefer company, joining a small group tour designed for solo travelers can be a great way to meet new people while enjoying your independence.
3. Adventure Travel For the more adventurous senior, there are plenty of opportunities to push your boundaries and experience something new. There are several adventure travel companies that offer trips that include hiking, wildlife safaris, and cultural immersion experiences. These trips
are designed to be both challenging and rewarding, with activities tailored to different fitness levels.
4. Wellness Retreats Wellness travel is a growing trend among seniors, focusing on relaxation, rejuvenation, and overall well-being. Wellness retreats often include activities like yoga, meditation, spa treatments, and healthy eating programs. Whether you’re looking to unwind on a beach in Bali, take a wellness cruise, or attend a health-focused retreat in the mountains, there are plenty of options to choose from.
5. Voluntourism Many seniors find that giving back through travel is a deeply fulfilling experience. Voluntourism combines travel with volunteer work, allowing you to make a positive impact while exploring a new destination. Organizations like Global Volunteers and Earthwatch offer
opportunities for seniors to participate in projects ranging from conservation work to community development.
Conclusion
Travel can be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life, and it’s never too late to start. Whether you’re planning a weekend getaway or a round-the-world adventure, there are countless opportunities available to seniors. By taking the time to plan carefully, choosing the right travel advisor or travel company, and embracing the journey with an open heart, you can make the most of your golden years and create memories that will last a lifetime. So why wait? The world is waiting to be explored, and your next adventure is just around the corner.
If you would like help planning a trip, I’d love to be your Travel Advisor.
After years as a dedicated hairstylist, Juliane discovered a passion for travel that reshaped her personal and professional path. What began as a hobby grew into a desire to make travel her career. An unexpected opportunity allowed her to pivot into the travel industry, where she now combines her creativity and attention to detail to craft unforgettable experiences. She is dedicated to helping others explore the world, turning travel dreams into reality one trip at a time.
Juliane Raleigh
