SWFL Parent & Child Magazine - September 2018

S W F L PA R E N T C H I L D. C O M

SEPTEMBER 2018

Healthy Children Healthy Families Let Our Family Take Care of Your Family

Newborn care – Lactation Services Well child checkups Appointments available 7 days a week Same day “sick” appointments Vaccinations Teen wellness Reach Out and Read participant

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Color the PPC Pals, then bring them into your doctor’s office where we will display them, or use to decorate in your own home.

Physician-Owned. Patient-Centered

www.ppcswfl.com | 239.275.5522 SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » SEPTEMBER 2018 » 3

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Pre-K - 4th Grade

Pre-K - Kindergarten

4 » SEPTEMBER 2018 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

TO REGISTER, please visit our website or call 239.415.8945

www.canterburyfortmyers.org Independent PK3-12 College Prep School Member of The National Association of Independent Schools Accredited by The Florida Council of Independent Schools

contents »

swfl

parent&child

49

17

Features

In Every Issue

31 healthy families

9

a mother’s view

29 teens

It’s been a toxic summer

Program shows promise in parenting child abuse

How and when to start preparing for the SAT and ACT

17 ask the expert

33 amber alerts Not all missing-child cases meet the criteria — here’s what you need to know

Installing car seats doesn’t have to be complicated

19 single parenting

48 travel

Single parents have a special set of skills

36 support for new moms Several groups help new parents adjust to life with baby

42 safety corner

Why wait 18 months to get pregnant again?

Tennessee lends history, culture and fun to autumn getaways

20 in the kitchen Should you make or buy your baby’s food?

On the cover Sofia Ann Schroeder, 7 weeks, is the daughter of Zack and Katie Schroeder, of Estero.

52 around town Best bets on local events for families

23 dining out Food & Thought in Naples

57 voices Trying for baby No. 2 is so different than the first one

25 youth sports Are you too pushy?

S W F L PA R

ENTCHILD

.COM

58 a father’s view

PHOTO BY AMANDA INSCOREZ

26 kid stuff

Teen dating can be quite awkward — for the parents

Where to find Southwest Florida’s petting zoos SEPTEMBE

R 2018

Other Departments 7 8 11 13

editor’s note online me time 5 things

14 43 53

fyi family album calendar

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » SEPTEMBER 2018 » 5

HISTORY & SCIENCE CENTER

Virtual Fort Myers

The Past Meets the Present

As On n S ee

Travel Back to 1856 and Visit The Original “Fort Myers” as You Interact with the Environment Just like the Early Settlers.

2000 Cranford Ave, Fort Myers 239.321.7420 www.i-sci.org Tue – Sat: 10 to 5, Sun: 12 to 5

6 » SEPTEMBER 2018 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

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$

REGULAR ADMISSION FOR A PARTY WITH 3 OR MORE GUESTS. ONE COUPON PER PARTY.

CODE: P&C18

parent &child

editor's note »

swfl

S W F L PA R E N T C H I L D. C O M

Part of the USA TODAY Network

Volume 19, Issue 9 Dedicated to serving the families of Lee and Collier counties 2442 Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd.

Fort Myers, FL 33901 swflparentchild.com President & Publisher William R. Barker General Manager Kathryn Robinson Kinsey kathryn@swflparentchild.com Editor Pamela Smith Hayford (239) 335-0448 pamela@swflparentchild.com Art Director Lindi Daywalt-Feazel

Editorial Contributors Maisy Adams, Echo Copeland, Jim Dwyer, Randy Kambic, Christi R. Kulwicki, Kira Lewis, Janis B. Meredith, Tracy O’Grady, Francine Wolfe Schwartz, Andrea Stetson, Jennifer Thomas, Dr. Lisa Waddell Photographer Amanda Inscore Vice President/Advertising Sales Nancy M. Solliday Specialty Publications Team Coordinator Dennis Wright dennis@swflparentchild.com Advertising Account Executive Nicole Holey (239) 281-6455 nholey@fortmyer.gannett.com

Distribution (239) 335-0211 Southwest Florida Parent & Child is a FREE publication distributed at more than 500 locations throughout Southwest Florida by The News-Press Media Group. All rights reserved. We make every effort to ensure the accuracy of the information published but cannot be held responsible for any consequences arising from omissions or errors. Any opinions expressed by writers and advertisers are not necessarily opinions of the magazine or publisher.

Member of

We all need support Still — 16 years later — I vividly remember sitting curled up on the couch and sobbing into the phone, my mother on the other end in Ohio. I was freaking out.

My firstborn’s life was in my hands, and I had no idea what I was doing. Sure, I had my husband. But in that moment, I felt alone and completely incompetent.

Thankfully, I got the support I needed. Every new mom and dad needs support. It’s a tough time in a person’s life. You have all this new — and heavy — responsibility. You’re sleep deprived.

With support, however, you’ll learn and you’ll relax.

The terror will pass, and the joy will come in big, just-asoverwhelming waves.

In this month’s issue, we look at the supportive groups that exist in Southwest Florida to help young parents. We also look at Amber Alerts. A list of criteria must be met before one is issued, and we’ll explain what you need to do to make sure you’re as prepared as possible in the event something terrible does happen. We also look at the Healthy Families program. Its organizers say they’re having such big success with the program that if adopted more widely it could nearly eliminate child abuse, negating the need for foster care as we know it today.

We know you’re not all new parents, so we’ve got plenty for the experienced parent, too, like where to find petting zoos in Southwest Florida and getting your teen prepared for the SAT and ACT. There’s plenty more inside. Explore and have fun.

Until next month!

Pamela Smith Hayford, Editor

Contact us: We enjoy hearing from you. Send your photos, letters or comments to: pamela@swflparentchild.com. Or visit us online:

swflparentchild.com

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » SEPTEMBER 2018 » 7

» online

swflparentchild.com Get the latest event information and family news every day at swflparentchild.com.

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online along with back issues, too. Looking for fun things to do? Check out our summer bucket list in the June issue. Want party ideas? Check out the February issue. Just visit swflparentchild.com, look for the big pink P&C circle and click on it (works with mobile, too).

EXPLORE the Gardens of the Globe

No Passport Required.

You’ll discover more than just stunning plants and landscapes on this 170-acre property.

With lush, tropical cultivated gardens and native preserve inspired by plants and cultures from around the globe between the 26th latitude north and 26th latitude south, Naples Botanical Garden is a truly unique destination.

Nine Cultivated Gardens | Nature Preserve Walking Trails | Smith Children’s Garden Splash Fountain & Butterfly House Chabraja Visitor Center Berger Shop in the Garden | Fogg Café

4820 Bayshore Drive / 239.643.7275

NAPLESGARDEN.ORG 8 » SEPTEMBER 2018 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

Kira Lewis of Cape Coral is mom to two children, a writer and founder of calmandchaosmama.com and sunshineandhurricanes.com.

a mother’s view »

K IR A LE WIS

Toxic summer

T

oxic fluorescent green, imagine that as a new color on the Crayola crayon spectrum. Because that is the crayon my children would need if they wanted to color an accurate picture of their backyard.

If it was also turned into one of those fun Smencils (scented colored pencils), its fragrance would be a combination of feces and rotting, dead sea life.

My family lives in Cape Coral, in a neighborhood of homes on canals not far from the Caloosahatchee River. For over a month, our canal has been covered with blue-green algae. The stink is seriously unimaginable.

We haven’t been able to spend time outside at all. Just taking our dog out for a few minutes to do his business makes our eyes sting and our noses stuffy. This meant for half of their summer vacation, my children could not play in their yard, swim in the pool or ride bikes around our cul-de-sac.

It wasn’t like we could escape the environmental disaster in our own backyard by going to the beach. Our beautiful Florida beaches have been covered by tons (yes, literally tons) of dead fish, turtles, manatees, dolphins and even sharks due to one of the longest lasting and most severe red tides in Florida history.

Many locals, as well as tour-

ists, who have visited the beaches or gone in the water have ended up with rashes or a host of other symptoms. Those living or working near the water are also dealing with respiratory issues and other health problems.

No one knows for sure when the blue-green algae or the red tide will go away. No one knows for sure the potential long-term health implications of either the red tide or the blue-green algae, but it is clear they are both at extremely toxic levels.

As a resident of Florida and of planet Earth this is breaking my heart. As a mother, it has me scared to death. I’m worried for my children. My husband and I have begun looking at short-term rentals and discussing longer terms plans to sell our home (if we’ll even be able to sell it).

And the worst part of all of this is that it could have been avoided.

Lots of fingers are pointing, and everyone wants there to be one villain. But if you research the history of our state, it’s a culmination of choices over decades and decades that have gotten us here. We have put population expansion, business, politics and green lawns ahead of our environment, and now we’re all living with the consequences.

It’s easy to feel powerless and to get caught up in anger and the blame game. But while there are no quick and simple solutions, there are solutions out there. And we can

all make a difference.

1. Start at home by discontinuing the use of harmful fertilizers and pesticides on your lawns.

Buy and even make your own nontoxic cleaning products. Take reusable bags with you to the grocery store. Cut down on how much bottled water your family drinks and recycle plastics and paper.

2. Do a little research so you understand all the various causes of our water problems, and then

do your best to educate others.

3. Get involved with local clean water movements like

Captains for Clean Water. Follow them on Facebook or subscribe to their newsletter so you can stay “in the know.”

4. Write your elected officials,

including mayors, state representatives, senators and our governor.

Send them pictures and real life stories of how this is impacting your family. Sign petitions and attend local government meetings or town halls with elected officials.

5. And most importantly VOTE this November for candidates com-

mitted to our Florida environment (and don’t just listen to what they say; actually look at their voting records).

And finally, as moms, we have more power than we realize. We are the ones tasked with raising the next generation. Maybe we haven’t set the best example so far when it comes to taking care of our planet, but we can do better starting today.

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » SEPTEMBER 2018 » 9

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SEPTEMBER EVENTS ROCK CLIMBING FUNWALLS NOW OPEN Packages available for birthday parties, corporate team building events, fundraisers, school field trips, and more! Make sure you pick up your free Frequent Climber Card and receive your 11th climb on us. Party packages available at MiromarOutlets.com/ play or call (239) 948-3766 AMAZING THINGS Suite 324, (239) 262-9464 Our newest 5D theater puts you in the heart of the action!

Party packages available at MiromarOutlets.com/play or call (239) 948-3766 LABOR DAY SIDEWALK SALE Friday, August 31 thru Monday, September 3 Enjoy additional savings on already low factory outlet prices.

SUMMER GIVEAWAY SERIES Fridays, September 7 & September 21 6:30 p.m. at Naples Flatbread Kitchen & Bar Shoppers test their music trivia knowledge to win concert tickets and a $100 Miromar Outlets Gift Card.

September 7: Play for a chance to win two tickets to see Kansas, December 15 in Fort Lauderdale.

September 21: Two tickets to see Elton John, November 23 in Sunrise are up for grabs.

SCIENCE SATURDAY Saturday, September 8 PLAYLAND 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. in Join Mr. Glen and his Science and Engineering team for interactive science projects.

FAMILY YOGA WITH KATHRYN Saturday, September 15 PLAYLAND 10 a.m. in A FREE 45-minute beginners’ yoga class, for families with toddlers to tweens.

MOMS APPRECIATION DAY Wednesday, September 19 PLAYLAND 10 a.m. to 12 p.m. in Moms, bring your children to FREE Kids Crafts and receive a coupon for a free drink and treat from le macaron french pastries.

KIDS DAY Saturday, September 29 PLAYLAND 10 a.m. to 12 p.m. in Toddlers to 12-year-olds participate in fun activities and receive a free slice of pizza from Luna Pizza, a free kids’ cone from Dairy Queen/ Orange Julius and a special offer at Mr. Pretzels.

FREE KIDS CRAFTS Every Wednesday PLAYLAND 10 a.m. to 12 p.m. in Kids, ages toddler to 12, participate in fun activities. Receive a $10 Miromar Outlets Gift Card after your fifth visit with your Reward Card.

BABY BOOT CAMP Monday, Wednesday, Friday & Saturday PLAYLAND 9 a.m. in Exercise classes for pregnant, postnatal and ultra-fit moms.

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SAVE UP TO 70% OFF RETAIL PRICES! Miromar Outlets Gift Cards* are valid at all Outlet Stores and Restaurants and can be purchased at MiromarOutlets.com and the Mall Office or Visitor Information Kiosk.

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10 » SEPTEMBER 2018 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

me time »

smart KITCHEN Everyone eats. Sometimes that fact makes life complicated: meal planning, grocery shopping, cooking.

These gadgets promise to make life a little easier.

Alexa, make the coffee The Behmor Connected coffee maker lets you control brewing temperature, pre-soak time and altitude for the perfect cup of joe — all from your phone. You can even link it to Amazon Alexa. $169.99 at amazon.com.

Shopping in a dash

DATE

NIGHT

Keep your kitchen stocked with the tap of a Dash Button.

It’s a small wireless device about the size of a flash drive that’s linked to your Amazon account. One push is all it takes to reorder your favorite brands. The buttons are essentially free.

Buy one for $4.99 and get a $4.99 credit on your first order at amazon.com.

Smart cooking The Instant Pot is winning over busy parents by the droves with super-fast cooking. It’s a multi-cooker that does the job of a pressure cooker, slow cooker, rice cooker, steamer and some other stuff all in one.

And recipes are everywhere.

Several styles and sizes are available. Prices range from $64.95 for the Mini to $179.95 for the Ultra 10-in-1 (8 quart). Available at numerous retailers, including Amazon, Belk, Sur La Table, Williams-Sonoma, Target and Walmart.

Get a full list at instantpot.com.

Miracle chiller This refrigerator is so smart, your kids will ask it to take their FSAs. The Samsung Family Hub helps plan meals, coordinates family schedules, streams shows and music and even shows you inside the fridge when you’re standing in the milk aisle wondering whether to pick up a jug.

It even tracks expiration dates and resists fingerprints. Starting price: $2,946 at samsung.com.

While we’re talking about making life easier in the kitchen, give yourself the night off and check out the new upscale seafood place in south Fort Myers. It’s like Pinchers but fancier, says Jean Le Boeuf, The News-Press food critic nom de plume. The new Deep Lagoon Seafood & Oyster House in south Fort Myers opened June 29 with views overlooking the waters of MarineMax. Jean Le Boeuf was particularly impressed with the seafood, which can veer into the $35-a-plate range. The first Deep Lagoon opened in 2017 in Naples. See the full review at news-press.com.

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » SEPTEMBER 2018 » 11

Help Your Child Learn AN EYE ON THE FUTURE Make an appointment today.

Your future suddenly became a whole lot clearer.

A child’s learning disabilities can be caused by vision related problems, even if the child has 20/20 vision.

Visit EyeDocks.com to watch a video about Vision Therapy.

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12 » SEPTEMBER 2018 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

5 things »

Made in the shade Shade is at a premium here in Southwest Florida. Make sure your little one has plenty of it with the Mutsy Igo Urban Nomad stroller umbrella. $39.99 at bedbathandbeyond.com

in style

These great finds elevate the functionality – and cute factor – of your little one’s ride.

Keep gear near A mother-son team created Packbands storage straps to keep rolled clothing secure while traveling. Then they discovered the tough silicone bands have many other uses, like attaching gear to strollers or keeping your beach towel rolled. Available in three sizes: 9-inch for $5.95, 12-inch for $6.95 and 15-inch for $7.95, or $19.99 for all three, packbands.com.

Light up the night The Mommy Light is made to clip onto baby’s stroller to see and be seen in the dark or overcast weather. It has two modes: flashlight and spotlight. $9.99 for a 2-pack at bedbathandbeyond.com.

The silver lining The Skip Hop Silver Lining Cloud stroller-bar toy engages baby’s senses wherever you go. The detachable rainbow chimes, and the baby-safe mirror with ribbon accents encourages a little peek-aboo play. $18 at skiphop.com.

Off the chain organization This stroller organizer by 3 Sprouts creates a convenient cargo area for drinks, snacks and gear. A back pocket with a Velcro closure hides away keys or cellphone. Two insulated drink holders keep your hydration of choice near. And it’s wipeable. $19.99 at 3sprouts.com.

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » SEPTEMBER 2018 » 13

« fyi Children’s Hospital named Most Beautiful The new Golisano Children’s Hospital of Southwest Florida is getting noticed nationally.

Health care staffing provider Soliant named the facility the Most Beautiful Hospital in the U.S. for 2018. The hospital received more than 250,000 votes to secure the title.

Volleyball league sets up in Cape Coral

Are Florida schools among the worst?

Not according to WalletHub’s list of states with the best and worst school systems. Florida ranked smack dab in the middle at No. 26.

WalletHub looked at 25 metrics to determine its list. On one hand, Florida tied with Alaska as fifth worst median SAT score, but it also ranked third best for low bullying incidences.

The art of cursive — at a kids' workshop near you While cursive isn’t often taught in school anymore, kids can still learn the art of handwriting in a new after-school program at Paper Source — the Cursive Workshop. The store has two six-week courses for ages 7-9 and 10-13. Kids learn the basics of cursive and practice their strokes with crafts. The workshops are 4 to 5 p.m. every Tuesday and Wednesday. Cost is $150. There’s a Paper Source (papersource. com) shop at the Mercato, 9105 Strada Place in North Naples.

14 » SEPTEMBER 2018 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

There’s a new game in town. The Cape Coral Parks and Recreation Department created a youth volleyball program for ages 10-17. The league runs September 5 to the end of November. Players are divided into two age groups: 10-13 and 14-17. Cost is $60. Get details or register at capeparks.com or 239-242-3486.

Girls on the Run expands Girls on the Run Collier County and Girls on the Run of Southwest Florida are merging and expanding to include girls ages 8-13 in Collier, Lee, Charlotte and DeSoto counties. The 10-week program is led by trained volunteer coaches who guide and mentor the girls to help them develop healthy habits and healthy self-esteem. The new Girls on the Run of Southwest Florida will serve at least 432 students this fall, 40 percent receiving full or partial scholarships to participate. Get details at gotrswfl. org.

Teen leadership class takes shape in the Cape Maranatha School of Dance & the Arts is launching a new leadership class for area high school students: the Taking Shape STAR Leadership Class. It’s a national youth leadership training program designed for studios, clubs and organizations and focuses on monthly themes of gratitude, giving, public speaking, positive self-image, respect, time management, budgeting and other topics. The first class is 3 to 4 p.m. Tuesday, September 11 and meets the second and fourth Tuesday of the month. Cost is $75 per year. Enrollment in a dance, music or art class at the studio is required. For details, call 239-772-3309 or visit maranathadance.com.

Grants available for eco-conscious teachers Up to $10,000 is available for teachers for conservationrelated classroom projects. The “Ding” Darling Wildlife Society-Friends of the Refuge and the J.N. “Ding” Darling National Wildlife Refuge award the grants to districts, schools and individual teachers in Lee, Collier and Charlotte counties. Teachers can apply for individual grants of up to $1,000, and schools and districts can apply for grants of up to $3,000. Deadline is October 26. For details, visit tinyurl. com/dinggrants, call 239-472-1100, ext. 4, or email shois@ dingdarlingsociety.org.

“I can’t believe she’s had

TWO KIDS! ”

With the Mommy Makeover procedures, you can look the way you did before children.

Surgically contours and tightens the abdomen as well as lifts and shapes the breasts.

VOTED “THE BEST” AGAIN! Best Plastic Surgeon Best Breast Cosmetic Surgeon

New hippotherapy begins at Naples Therapeutic Riding Center The Naples Therapeutic Riding Center launched a new hippotherapy program, which uses the movement of horses to deliver the benefits of physical therapy. It can help children and adults with sensory processing disorder, autism, motor incoordination, feeding problems, ADHD, behavior issues and self-regulation challenges by strengthening fine visual and sensory motor skills. For details, visit naplestherapeuticridingcenter.org or call 239-596-2988.

Garramone.com 239.482.1900 12998 South Cleveland Avenue • Fort Myers, Florida 33907 SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » SEPTEMBER 2018 » 15

« fyi (continued)

Fall deals at Zoomers and Shell Factory Through the middle of November, Zoomers is offering special deals and new hours. On Mondays, there’s buy-one-get-one-free wristbands. On Family Fridays, after 4 p.m., you can get two wristbands, a whole pizza and a pitcher of soda for $49.99 (additional wristbands $22.99). The amusement park in south Fort Myers is also changing its hours, closing on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. Times will be posted online at zoomersfun.com.

The Shell Factory & Nature Park in North Fort Myers is offering buy-one-get-one nature park admission and fun park packages throughout the month of September. Get details at shellfactory.com.

Do you know Disney?

The Disney Parks Moms Panel is looking for park-savvy Disney buffs to apply to serve on the popular online forum where families go to get tips for making the most of their visit to the parks and resorts. And you don’t have to be a mom. Dads and other in-the-know family members are welcome to apply. The search for Disney’s next panelist runs September 5-12. Apply at momspanelsearch.com.

Local author helps kids with bullying Teacher Jaclyn Howell knows about bullying: She was a target. And she’s trying to help children today cope by giving them skills to turn bullies into friends, or at least stop the relentless humiliation, through her book “From Riches to Rags.” The book earned Purple Dragonfly Book Awards in three categories: Spiritual/ Religious Books, School Issues and for Charity/Making a Difference. The Cape Coral resident teaches at North Fort Myers Academy of the Arts.

The book, for ages 8 and older, is available for $9.99 (Kindle) to $16.95 (list price) at amazon.com, barnesandnoble. com and booksmillion.com.

Join us for Open House OCTOBER 15 @ 9:30 a.m.

Grades 5-12

Need-Based Merit Scholarship Testing DECEMBER 8 or DECEMBER 10

For current 5th and 8th grade students entering grades 6 and 9 in 2019-20

TO REGISTER, please visit our website or call 239.415.8945 www.canterburyfortmyers.org “My Canterbury education has given me everything, and it has made me into who I am today. Canterbury has taught me how to be thankful for and utilize the gifts I have, how to strive for a goal and reach it, and how to make the most of an opportunity.”

Michael Morell ’18 Canterbury, Class of 2018 United States Naval Academy, Class of 2022 Independent PK3-12 College Prep School Member of The National Association of Independent Schools Accredited by The Florida Council of Independent Schools

16 » SEPTEMBER 2018 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

Dr. Lisa Waddell is the senior vice president and deputy medical officer for the March of Dimes.

ask the expert »

DR . LISA WA DDELL

Timing baby No. 2 F How long should you wait before getting pregnant again?

Why is 18 months important?

again. Birth control helps

keep you from getting pregnant. Examples include intrauterine devices (IUDs), implants, the pill and condoms. Other than abstinence (not having sex), IUDs and implants are the most effective kinds of birth control. They work well at preventing pregnancy because they’re low maintenance. Once you get them from your provider, they work for a long time (up to several years), and you don’t have to worry about getting pregnant until you have it removed. » If you’re pregnant,

GETTY IMAGES

or most women, it’s best to wait at least 18 months between giving birth and getting pregnant again. This means your baby will be at least 1½ years old before you get pregnant with another baby. This gives your body time to fully recover from your last pregnancy. If you have health conditions or risks or other needs that raise questions with this approach, talk with your health care provider.

Getting pregnant again before 18 months increases the risk for certain health problems for your baby, including: » Premature birth. This means your baby is born before 37 weeks of pregnancy. The shorter the time between pregnancies, the higher your risk for premature birth. » Low birthweight. This is when your baby is born weighing less than 5 pounds, 8 ounces. » Being small for gestational age.

This means your baby is smaller than

normal based on the number of weeks in the womb.

Babies with these health conditions are more likely to have serious long-term health problems, or even die before their first birthday, than babies without the conditions.

What can you do to help get that 18 months? » Use effective birth control (contraception or family planning) until you’re ready to get pregnant

talk to your provider before you give birth about getting an IUD or implant right after you have your baby. If you don’t get an IUD

or implant right after giving birth, talk with your provider about getting one at your postpartum checkup, which is typically about 6 weeks after you have your baby. » If you’re older than 35 or have had a miscarriage or stillbirth, talk with your provider about how long to wait between pregnancies. Wait-

ing 18 months might not be right for you.

ASK THE EXPERT We welcome questions from readers. Ask us anything. We’ll find the answer. Send your question to editor@swflparentchild.com with “Ask the Expert” in the subject line.

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » SEPTEMBER 2018 » 17

« ask the expert (continued) KEEP YOUR

Why does getting pregnant again too soon increase the chances for premature birth?

H E A LT H Y H E A D TO TO E

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We’re highly experienced in the most common skin conditions kids as young as newborns face. Now is a good time to stop by, with Saturday hours at our Cape Coral and Fort Myers locations.

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Experts don’t know for sure why getting pregnant again too soon increases your chances of premature birth and other health problems for your baby. It may be because your body needs time to: » Build up its supply of nutrients, like folic acid. Nutrients, like vitamins and minerals, help your body stay healthy.

If your body doesn’t have enough nutrients and you get pregnant again too soon, it may cause health problems for you or your baby. During pregnancy and breastfeeding, your baby gets the nutrients she needs from your body. After having a baby, your body may not have enough of certain nutrients, like folic acid. Folic acid is a vitamin that every cell in your body needs for normal growth and development. If you take it before you get pregnant, it can help reduce your baby’s chances of having birth defects of the brain and spine called neural tube defects (also called NTDs). If you get pregnant again too soon and your folic acid levels are low, your next baby is more likely to be born prematurely, with low birthweight or with NTDs. » Heal from infection and inflammation. Infection during pregnancy can lead to inflammation (redness and swelling) in parts of your body, like the uterus. If you have a condition like endometritis (inflammation of the lining of the uterus) during pregnancy and get pregnant again before your body has fully healed, you may have the condition again in your next pregnancy. Inflammation may play a role in preterm premature rupture of membranes (also called PPROM), which is when the sac around the baby breaks before 37 weeks pregnancy, causing premature labor and birth. » Reset the microbiome of the vagina. The microbiome is a group of microorganisms, like bacteria, living things so small you need a microscope to see them. Some experts think the microbiome in a woman’s vagina may play a role in premature birth. For example, having an infection called bacterial vaginosis affects the vaginal microbiome and can increase your chances of having a premature baby. Also, the vaginal microbiome of women who have had a premature baby may be different than that of women who have a baby after 37 weeks of pregnancy. And it may take time — even a year — for the vaginal microbiome to go back to how it was before pregnancy. The March of Dimes supports research to learn more about the vaginal microbiome and premature birth.

March of Dimes leads the fight for the health of all moms and babies. We support research, lead programs and provide education and advocacy so that every baby can have the best possible start. Visit marchofdimes.org or nacersano.org for more information. Visit shareyourstory.org for comfort and support. Find us on Facebook and follow us on Instagram and Twitter.

single parenting »

Echo Copeland is a single mom who lives in Southwest Florida.

ECHO COPEL A ND

Why single parents make good teachers

O

ver the years, as I teach, I’ve noticed something very interesting. It doesn’t matter whether I’m teaching a kindergarten class or instructing students at a technical college on the background of automotive sciences, there’s one thing that is crystal clear to me: It takes a special kind of person to be a teacher.

I used to think of certain professions as better suited for people who have supportive people in their lives, not necessarily, a single parent. Now, after all these years, and after all the comments I have received from administration and staff alike, I realize the opposite.

Single parents are well equipped to excel and make a difference in certain professions. Especially, teaching.

In fact, dare I say, there are several reasons that I feel teaching, in particular, is a great profession for a single parent. And it’s not just those “summers off.”

No. 1, teaching requires resilience — the type of resilience that enables a person to take on any challenge. It’s one of the main skills needed to be a great educator. Single parents know very

well how to be resilient. After all, they’ve gone through broken homes, sometimes custody issues, and have often seen their children suffer through the process.

A single parent faces adversities that are unique, not necessarily more than their married counterparts; after all, we all have trials and tribulations. What I am pointing out is that the adversities we face are different and sometimes require different coping skills. For example, there is no pain I’ve endured greater than going through a divorce. Even though it was a divorce that I initiated, with a husband I was only with for a couple years, I cannot begin to tell you how extremely heart-wrenching it was. I feel like I’ve forever lost a limb.

Becoming a single parent due to the death of a spouse must be even more heartbreaking.

A lady I know and met a few years ago told me of the pain of her divorce. She was devastated.

I remember her words, even after she met a man and remarried years later. Last month, she lost that spouse, too, this time to death. I can only fathom the depth of grief she feels and the strength she will need to get

through this.

Single parents have a different kind of strength. We’ve all heard that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger; a single parent knows that first hand.

Another reason that a single parent can be a great teacher is that a single parent knows how to fight. As a teacher, you need to know how to fight. You need to fight for the rights of children, fight for a good education system, fight for students who are abused and have no one else to turn to but you. Some single parents, quite a few of us, have had to fight quite a few battles. Our scars help prepare us for teaching. The battle of a one-family income, the battle of not having someone to turn to on those nights when you’re particularly lonely, and the battle of knowing whether to stay in a relationship that’s abusive or detrimental to your well-being.

Last of all, a teacher needs compassion and empathy. Once you have been through a traumatic experience, two things happen: 1. You get tougher, and 2. you get softer and kinder and more compassionate toward others. You are slow to anger and accepting of more people. That’s a teacher.

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » SEPTEMBER 2018 » 19

in the kitchen »

FR A NCINE WOLFE SCH WA RTZ

THE GREAT

BABY FOOD DEBATE

The pros and cons of store-bought baby food versus homemade, plus easy yummy recipes

A

s your baby transitions from breast milk or formula to eating “people” food, the great debate begins: homemade baby foods vs. store-bought.

There is no easy yes or no answer.

Nutritionally speaking. most commercial baby foods are very nutritious. I say “most,” because as with all foods reading the label is key. Single ingredient (first stage) baby foods are available prepared with conventional or organic ingredients and seldom contain starchy fillers, salt, sugar or any other ingredients that are not “food.”

Baby foods in jars or pouches are convenient and portable, but some parental concerns are: » Cost. It can be more expensive to buy baby food than to cook and mash fresh food yourself. » Preservatives. Vitamin C is

20 » SEPTEMBER 2018 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

the only preservative that should be included in the label ingredient list. » Processing. The conclusion (and misconception) that the excessive heat used to kill bacteria during food processing may also dull nutrients. » Packaging. Disposable and glass packaging aren’t as earthfriendly as reusable dishes, even though there are lots of uses for up-cycling baby food jars. Parents having these concerns will want to prepare homemade, but there are pitfalls there, too. » Safety. While commercially prepared baby food follows strict food safety guidelines — especially on naturally occurring chemicals like nitrates, for example — homemade food doesn’t. » Storage. Homemade food doesn’t keep or tote as easily as jarred food. Parents need to beware of thawing food and refreezing leftovers due to bacteria growth.

Dos and don’ts for making baby food If you choose to make baby food yourself, follow these guidelines: » Do steam or microwave fruits and vegetables as much as possible instead of boiling them to retain the most nutrients.

(Remember, before cutting or peeling, wash all fruits and vegetables well before preparing them for baby food). » Do mash or puree cooked food with small amounts of water until smooth. » Do transfer food into ice cube trays and freeze. Then store frozen cubes in baggies. » Do rewarm food to room temperature when it’s time to eat — but not before. » Don’t add salt, sugar or any other ingredient. In the early stages, each baby food item should contain only one ingredient, not a blended combination, so it’s easier to identify any potential allergic reaction. » Don’t freeze food for more than one month.

SOURCE: health.clevelandclinic.org

Francine Wolfe Schwartz is a food and consumer product consultant in Southwest Florida.

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Easy 'homemade' foods to share with your baby » Banana. Peel and mash well with a fork or spoon. » Avocado. Peel and mash like a banana. » Yogurt. Buy the small “kid” or baby sizes without added sugar or other add-ins. Tote it with an ice pack. » Diced fruit. Peaches, pears and melons are great for babies with new teeth.

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SOURCE: health.clevelandclinic.org

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Green Bean Puree Note: Use frozen green beans (organic if you prefer). Fresh green beans take on a grainy texture after pureeing.

1. Place the green beans in a steamer and cook for 3 to 5 minutes, or until tender. Drain green beans and rinse with cold water for three minutes to stop the cooking process.

2. Puree green beans in a food processor or blender until smooth. Add water as needed to reach desired consistency.

Once baby is ready for finger foods, typically around 10 months, you can serve whole green beans cut into tiny pieces.

SOURCE: parents.com

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» in the kitchen (continued) » Texture. How lumpy is too lumpy? Food that isn’t mashed enough could be a choking hazard. And picky eaters may prefer the consistency of smoother processed food.

Preparing first-stage baby foods at home requires time.

Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. The common theory is — oh you can just take foods that you are cooking for the “real” food eaters, set aside baby’s portion before seasoning, and then puree and feed baby the same foods.

That sounds good in theory, but if your days are already crowded with “life” activities and you can barely find time to grocery shop and cook dinner every night, finding time to cook foods nutritious and appropriate for baby, too, could be a bit much.

One solution that seems to work is a blend of buying and preparing homemade foods.

Blueberry Puree Best for babies who are ready for multi-fruit or veggie purees, sweet-tart blueberries are a match with sweet apple, pear and banana purees.

1. You can make blueberry puree with fresh or frozen berries; buy fresh in the summer and frozen the rest of the year for high-quality, affordable blueberries.

When purchasing fresh blueberries, look for purple fruit that has uniform color and is free of nicks, bruises, and other blemishes. Since blueberries are part of the “dirty dozen” — foods with the highest pesticide residue — it's a good idea to buy organic. Half a cup of blueberries yields about four ounces of puree.

2. Wash blueberries with a mixture of three parts water and one part white vinegar to remove bacteria. Rinse under cool running water and dry.

3. If your blueberries are ripe, skip this step and move on to step 4. If you're working with blueberries that are not ripe or are frozen, place the fruit in a steamer and cook for three minutes.

4. Drain blueberries and rinse with cold water for three minutes in a colander to stop the cooking process. Puree in a food processor or blender until smooth. Add water as needed to reach desired consistency.

5. For chunkier blueberry puree, which is ideal for babies 10 months or older, mash the blueberries with a potato masher instead of pureeing it.

SOURCE: parents.com 22 » SEPTEMBER 2018 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

dining out »

Made in the shade Families enjoy healthy meals under a canopy of trees at Food & Thought. BY ANDREA STETSON

U

nder a canopy of trees, children play as they wait for their meals to arrive. Their parents sit at tables that, even in the heat of summer, are quite cool in this shaded area.

My daughter, Kristyn, had been to Food & Thought several times and encouraged us to try this place in Naples, which features high quality organic meals. The cafe is nestled between an organic grocery store and a shop that sells sustainable clothing.

Kristyn and I each had the Bunny Wrappit, a raw vegan lettuce wrap with sprouts, avocado, tomato, “cheese” and cucumber ($6.95).

The mixture of flavors was quite delicious. My husband had the special of the day, which was the pork sandwich ($9.95).

Breakfast here is served 7 to 11 a.m. with items such as sprouted grain pancakes, omelets, quiche, eggs, fruit and oatmeal.

For lunch and dinner, there’s a variety of unique items. The Holy Yamoli features yams, avocado, lettuce, tomato, onion and vegan mayo.

The Eggstatic Salad uses free-range eggs. There are also soups, salads and dinner entrees like wild-caught fish. To feed the whole family, whole chickens, quiches, and pies and cakes are available, too.

Desserts include chia pudding and energy truffles, but there’s also homemade pie, brownies and muffins.

Side items include raw hummus, fruit salad, beets and carrots, guacamole and more.

The restaurant also has healthy smoothies and shakes.

For the kids, if the main menu doesn’t suit them, there’s peanut butter and jelly or peanut butter and banana ($4.95). Almond butter can be substituted for an extra charge.

The Saturday afternoon when we went, there were children everywhere. While there’s seating inside, the families were all seated under the thick canopy of trees where the youngsters could play in the garden-like area while the parents socialized.

Food & Thought has seating indoors and outdoors under a canopy of trees.

FOOD & THOUGHT » Location: 2132 Tamiami Trail N., Naples » Phone: 239-213-2222 » Online: foodandthought.com » Hours: 7 a.m. to 8 p.m. Monday-Saturday, closed Sundays » Price range: $6.95-$11.95 for entrees and sandwiches » Kids’ menu: Peanut butter and jelly or peanut butter and banana sandwiches, $4.95. You might also find kid favorites on the regular menu, such as grilled cheese ($5.95).

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » SEPTEMBER 2018 » 23

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youth sports »

Janis B. Meredith, a parenting coach, was a coach’s wife for 29 years and sports mom for 22 years. She lives in Alva, where she writes about raising champions on JBMThinks.com.

JA NIS B. MER EDIT H

Are you too pushy?

4 ways to gauge if you’re overdoing it

S

ports is a great place for your child to explore independence. However, many parents rob their children of this opportunity.

Parents who constantly step in and try to control what happens to their children as they play are hurting their children more than helping. And when an athlete feels they have lost control over their sports experience, they may lose interest and motivation, which can lead to burnout and quitting.

In other words, parents who are pushing their kids too much in youth sports are actually hindering instead of helping their child’s experience.

How do you know if you’re being too pushy? These four questions can help you gauge if you are.

Do you feel compelled to confront the coach?

If you’re unhappy with your child’s position or playing time or have issues with the coach’s game strategy and feel the need to let the coach know, you’re probably being too pushy. Your job is to encourage and support; the coach’s job is to manage the team and help the kids grow and learn. It’s best if you don’t cross over that line.

Are you more invested in your child’s youth sports than they are?

If you are always the one suggesting a camp, clinic, extra practice or a personal coach, and your child never does, or if you get way more excited about your child’s wins, statistics and achievements than they do, you may be a tad too attached to your child’s youth sports experience.

Pushy parents are usually over-involved.

How does your child react when you “push”?

If they clam up, lash out or otherwise negatively react to your pushes, chances are they’ve heard your instructions and critiques way too much. Your words, which you assume will motivate and encourage them to work hard, are no longer potent because overuse has watered them down.

Are you driven to fix things for your child?

Pushy sports parents often feel the need to step in and fight battles for their kids, trying to fix all tough situations so that their children remain happy. This sort of parenting usually results in raising entitled children who do not know or want to fight their own battles; they expect others to do the work for them.

Parents, take a step back.

Let your children learn to push themselves. Support them, and stop questioning officials, judges and coaches.

I guarantee that you and your child will enjoy the experience much more.

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » SEPTEMBER 2018 » 25

« kid stuff

Meet the Five petting zoo experiences in Southwest Florida. BY ANDREA STETSON

E

rva and Karen Trotter cheer on three young children as they participate in a weekly athletic program in Naples. The children giggle and play on the field, they teach each other funny dance moves and talk about their weekend plans to have a barbecue and swim.

While they look like a family of five, only Mia Trotter, 5, and Maya Trotter, 3, are biologically part of the family. De’Shawn, 8, is part of the Big Brothers Big Sisters of America program. Since Erva became a Big Brother in January, he has had lots of one-on-one time with De’Shawn. He’s helped the young boy with homework, taught him sports and taken him to sporting events. But he’s also invited him to many activities with his family.

While many people envision the Big Brothers Big Sisters program as exclusive to the Bigs and Littles, it can benefit an entire family.

“I want my kids to know about just being a help and

26 » SEPTEMBER 2018 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

support for someone in need,” Erva says. “They are so small now that they think he is my brother, but I want them to see later as they grow up that it is really nice to mentor and help someone. And maybe one day they will do that for a younger girl.”

Having a Little not only benefits a child in need, but the children of the Big, says Michelle Groenings, mentor manager with Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Sun Coast.

“I think most importantly it brings perspective,” Michelle says. “At least from my own perspective. I am a mom, and I have a Little as well. I have a 17-year-old that too often thinks life is easy, and it’s just good to be around other children that don’t have the opportunity that they have. It makes their lives less self-centered.

“It’s important even at a very young age for kids to learn humility and to learn that giving back doesn’t have to be patronizing. You can welcome someone as a family member without patronizing them. Young children learn we’re all

GETTY IMAGES

H

enry the Holstein cow sticks out his long tongue and curls it around a tomato that Luke Smith, 6, hands to him. Luke giggles as the cow slobbers on the tomato and then drops it, giving Luke another chance to watch Henry gently grab the slippery fruit.

At Southern Fresh Farms in south Fort Myers, children can feed Henry, his buddy Moofasa the Brangus cow, Murphy the donkey, along with goats, chickens, roosters and more. It is one of five places we’ve found that allow children to get that close to farm animals to pet and feed them. Best of all, admission is free. At the farm, visitors pay $1 to buy a cup of food to feed the animals.

“The thing we see is kids are so disconnected from agriculture,” says Robert McMahon, who owns Southern Fresh Farms with his wife, Shelly. “We’re afraid these young guys could face a food crisis and decisions about food, and if they have no connection, how can they make good decisions? We know we won’t get rich doing this.”

Donations are accepted, but Robert says the most important thing is giving children an opportunity to experience farm life. Years ago, most zoos had petting areas, but with liability, many closed those attractions, leaving very few places for kids to interact with farm animals.

Visitors at Southern Fresh Farms not only get to feed the creatures carrots, zucchini, peppers and tomatoes, they get to pet them. Henry was 6 hours old when he arrived at the farm, and he was bottle fed every four hours. Moofasa arrived when he was 2 weeks old. Because of that upbringing, they are extremely friendly. Murphy the mini donkey is also a kid favorite.

“He has an Eeyore complex,” Robert says. “He’s pretty popular.”

Napoleon the rooster struts around the barnyard giving a loud cock-a-doodle-doo every once in a while. Chickens in a variety of colors and species also come up to the fence.

Penny and Pearl, the two goats, enjoy pats on the head and handouts of vegetables.

“They are just used to people,” Robert says.

“I like that one,” said Lola Smith, 4, on a visit this summer as she pointed to Pearl, the black goat. “I like that he has a horn. He’s like a unicorn.”

“My favorite is the donkey,” her sister Taylor Smith, 8, added. “You can hear him chew, and he’s soft.”

Their mother, Kelci Smith, a visitor from Iowa, was happy to hear about the farm.

“I’m just excited to get out and do something different,” she said. “When we are down here, we think beach and water and pool, but this is just a different experience for them.”

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« kid stuff

(continued)

Anne Allen, of Cape Coral, regularly brings her two children, Anna, almost 3, and A.J., 19 months, to the farm.

“We like that the kids can come and meet animals,” Anne says. “It’s a really good family environment, and it’s something different. I think it is awesome to expose them to it. They see these animals in books.”

There are a few other places in town where children can pet animals.

At the Shell Factory in North Fort Myers, the nature park allows children to play with the dwarf Nigerian goats, rabbits, guinea pigs and Zebu. There is also a touch center that is open three times a day where children can touch a baby alligator, tortoises and a ferret.

“Eight of the dwarfs have been disbudded, so they can go in with those animals,” Nature Park Director Karen Schneider says. “The biggest lesson for them to learn is the majority of these animals were someone’s pet. What seems like a good idea today might not make an ideal pet for tomorrow.”

In Bonita Springs, the Everglades Wonder Gardens recently made more of their creatures accessible for petting and feeding.

“The flamingos, we let kids feed them now,” says Tom Hecker, executive director.

Guests can also interact with the peacocks and peahens that roam free in the gardens. Visitors can also request to touch snakes and baby alligators.

“If people request it, we take it out,” Tom explains. “There is no set time, but if anyone asks we usually do it.”

Bags of food for the animals are sold for $1 each. Visitors can also spend $5 to buy a sardine to put on a long pole and feed to an alligator.

At 31 Produce in Alva, there are mini donkeys, Nigerian dwarf goats, chickens,

28 » SEPTEMBER 2018 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

Where the petting zoos are SOUTHERN FRESH FARMS 8500 Penzance Blvd., south Fort Myers • 239-768-0309 • southernfresh.farm • 9 a.m.5 p.m. daily • Free, cup of animal food is $1

rabbits, guinea pigs, African spur tortoises and two pot belly pigs. Guests can visit these animals for free. To feed them, you can buy a cup of animal food for $3 or buy a handful of food from a machine for a quarter.

“It is kind of neat,” says manager Paige Greenwell. “The rabbits were all domestic rabbits, but they have a tunnel system under their enclosure. It is funny how they go back to their animal instincts. They are super, super friendly, because they were owned. The guinea pigs also get to be what they really are, because they are not in a really tiny cage.”

Paige would like families to learn about animal care and responsibility from her petting farm.

“I guess learning that most of them are rescues and the animals are a responsibility,” Paige says. “Most of them are rescues or have been given up, because people can’t take care of them. It’s about learning about each one.”

Kowiachobee Animal Preserve in Naples, which you can visit by appointment only, mainly features big cats, such as tigers and lions, but there are a few animals that can be petted. A zebra named Sahara greets guests as they arrive from the parking lot and enjoys some petting. There are also some goats, miniature horses and a donkey that come to the fence for pets. Ducks and chickens roam free, pecking at food on the ground, while some pot belly pigs roam in a large enclosed yard.

SHELL FACTORY & NATURE PARK

2787 Tamiami Trail N., North Fort Myers • 239-995-2141 • shellfactory.com • 10 a.m.-5 p.m. daily. The touch center (with additional creatures to pet) is open three times a day: 12-12:30, 2-2:30 and 4-4:30 p.m. • Nature Park admission is $13 for adults, $8 for ages 4-12, free for ages 3 and younger, $10 for ages 55 and older, $100 for a family annual pass

31 PRODUCE & MINING CO.

18672 State Road 31, Alva • 239-313-8213 • 31produce. com/petting-zoo.html • 9 a.m.-5:30 p.m. daily • Free to see the animals, $3 for a cup of food or 25 cents for a handful at machines on-site

EVERGLADES WONDER GARDENS

27180 Old 41 Road, Bonita Springs • 239-992-2591 • evergladeswondergardens.com • 9 a.m.-5 p.m. daily • $12 for ages 13-64, $7 for ages 3-12, free for children younger than 3, $10 for ages 65 and older

KOWIACHOBEE ANIMAL PRESERVE

2861 Fourth Ave. S.E., Naples • Visits are by appointment only. To schedule a visit, call 239-352-5387. • kowiachobee.org • Admission is free, but donations are highly appreciated.

teens »

SAT and ACT

preparation When to start and where to turn for help. By Andrea Stetson

T

he SAT and ACT exams may seem a long time away for students entering their freshman, sophomore or junior year. But experts say preparation for the tests should begin early.

“For college-bound students, Semester 2 of the junior year is a good time to take the ACT and SAT,” says Chris Smith, coordinator for high school counseling in Collier County Public Schools.

That gives them time to take the tests one more time, either during the summer or fall before scores are due for college applications the fall of senior year. Chris also suggests that students take both exams.

“I recommend they do both the SAT and the ACT, because they may score better on one than the other,” he explains.

Some students and parents don’t realize how soon these test scores are needed, Chris says. The priority college applications are often due in October or November of senior year and some scholarship applications start then, too.

“Many of the priority dates for admissions are earlier and earlier,”

he says. “If you take October ACT or SAT, you’ve got a problem. Those students who plan on applying to college — all of the planning process from eighth grade on needs to be geared for ‘What do I need to be doing my junior year to be prepared for the beginning of my senior year when I need to be applying to colleges and scholarships?’ You don’t wait until October until you have an ah-ha moment.”

Chris also suggests several ways students can prepare for those intensive tests.

Khan Academy, a nonprofit educational organization, has free online SAT prep courses. ACT.org has the same for that exam.

“The SAT now is on Khan Academy,” Chris says. “It is a very, very well-defined prep program. ACT also has one on there. Kahn Academy and ACT are free.”

Yet Chris says that route does not work for every child.

“Any prep program is only as good as the time the child chooses to spend on the program,” he says.

“Is it better for mom and dad to pay for a six-week program? With my older son, it was the only way to get it done. He knew for six weeks

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » SEPTEMBER 2018 » 29

« teens (continued)

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on Tuesday nights he was doing English and on Thursday math prep.”

For students who are going the paid route, there are local organizations here to help.

Quest for Success begins preparing students for college during freshman year of high school. They don’t even accept students after junior year. The program has a wide variety of prep tools, including in-depth SAT and ACT preparation, assistance in choosing the college that is best for each student, ensuring high school curriculum that will create competitive college applicants, in-depth work in writing college essays, one-on-one assistance for applying for scholarships and financial aid, and personalized direction in choosing a college major and career path.

For SAT and ACT prep, Quest does both group sessions and one-on-one tutoring.

“They all start out taking a full-length SAT and ACT, and we see where those scores are, and staff can see weaknesses and strengths, and we tailor the lessons to that,” says Susan Zumstein, executive director of Quest. “Sometimes we have kids that are great test takers and others get stressed out.

Whether we like it or not, college admissions are still test score driven no doubt.”

There is a new section on the SAT that does not allow a calculator, so Susan says they begin math drills freshman year, so students are prepared for quick calculations.

“We also work with them on time management, study skills and organization,” she adds.

Susan says there’s a misconception that Quest is expensive.

“Forty-two percent are high achieving first generation students that are scholarshipped into Quest,” she says. “They don’t pay. It is either paid for by Quest or Pelican Bay Rotary. We want this to be affordable to high achieving kids that need this.”

Free ACT and SAT tests are given every Saturday at Sylvan Learning of Fort Myers.

“They can come in and for free find out how they are scoring,” says Beth Benson, director of education. “After that, we offer either SAT or ACT classes, and those classes cover the full content of the test. We also offer one-to-one tutoring for students that need help in a specific area. We go through all the test-taking strategies and the content they would expect to see on an ACT/SAT test.”

Susan says students do start preparing early.

“We have some come in as early as freshmen if they really want time and not to feel rushed,” she says. “Every child is different. Definitely you want to be thinking about it your junior year, because by your senior year it is getting pretty late.”

David Greenberg, chief academic advisor with Parliament Tutors, says they also start with an assessment so their tutors can target the skills drills to each student’s needs.

“We will drill them accordingly and make adjustments accordingly,” David says. “There are different strategies and approaches. Another uncommon, unique thing we like to do with our students is have them wake up at 7 in the morning to take a three-hour test. Students are doing great in the practice exams but then don’t do as well on the exam, because they’re not used to morning time.”

spotlight »

NO MORE ABUSE One Southwest Florida program is having such success in preventing child abuse and neglect that organizers say it could end the need for foster care as we know it. BY RANDY K AMBIC

A

couple suffers a financial setback just as their new baby is due. Or maybe frustration builds after another sleepless night thanks to the ceaseless crying of a newborn baby. Or a parent loses his temper when a little one has difficulty with potty training.

To help allay these and other stressful

challenges faced by many parents, the Children’s Home Society of Florida runs the transformative Healthy Families program, which has been highly successful for the last two decades in preventing child abuse and helping mold parents into the strong leaders their children need. The program’s organizers say it could significantly reduce the need for foster care as we know it.

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » SEPTEMBER 2018 » 31

« spotlight (continued)

“We partner with the parents,” says Carla Jackson, the program director in Southwest Florida. One of the bedrock principles instilled via the free, voluntary program is to “be patient.

Whatever their child is going through, it’s probably either a phase they’ll grow out of or they may need medical attention.”

They also pump parents up to take care of themselves and get support when they need it.

Child abuse and neglect have costly short- and long-term consequences, including hospitalization, child welfare services, special education and juvenile delinquency. Such costs come to more than $105,000 per child annually, estimates CHSF partner organization The Ounce of Prevention Fund of Florida. The Healthy Families program costs $2,100 per child per year, which is currently funded by Ounce of Prevention, the local United Way and donations.

“The difference in the costs are staggering,” says Carla, who has worked in the child welfare arena for 18 years, first in her native Pennsylvania and the last seven with Healthy Families here. “Yet, the human factor in helping families, of course, is the biggest difference.”

Children’s Home Society of Florida reports that only 2 percent of Lee and Collier families who have graduated from the program have been referred back to them due to child abuse or neglect.

To qualify, families should either be expecting a new baby, have a baby younger than 3 months old or have young children who are dealing with a stressful life situation.

After an assessment, each participating family receives individualized treatment that’s based on their needs. Healthy Families-certified family support workers visit homes to provide tangible ways to improve the child’s growth and development and the safety of the home.

The parents learn how to deal with everyday stress, parenting skills, activities and age-appropriate discipline, how to better manage medical appointments to ensure timely well-baby checks and immunizations, how to connect with other

community resources and more.

The one-hour visits start on a weekly basis and then progress to bi-weekly, monthly, quarterly and then completion, for a minimum of three and a half years. Parents graduate when they complete all their goals, including having a strong social support system and meeting the medical needs of their child.

“It’s been awesome,” says Maria Renteria, of Immokalee, who entered the program with her husband, Juan, just before the arrival of their first-born son, Tadeo. They expect to graduate when he turns 5 this December.

“It’s been great having someone explain the ‘cues,’ so we’ve learned to better understand what he wants, what mood he’s in and how best to communicate with him,” Maria relates.

She also particularly appreciates the goalsetting element of the program and learning how to better engage her son. The caseworker “brings drawings, books, puzzles and more for our son to use while explaining things to us.

We have a lot of fun.”

The Healthy Families team acts as a lifeline for parents facing poverty, community violence or an absent support system. This is especially critical as nearly 1 million children in Florida (23 percent) live in extreme poverty, according to PovertyUSA.org. One in four will suffer abuse or neglect.

In the one-year period that ended June 30, Healthy Families actively served more than 150 local families — five of them graduated from the program last March.

“The staff is amazing,” Carla says. “We just brought in some new people [in July] and others have been with us for 19 years. They are extremely dedicated and have a passion for the task. They love to serve.”

Some that were first touched by the program when they were very young are now being assisted again as parents. “They say, ‘I remember you!’ It changed their lives.”

Families can learn more about the Healthy Families program at chsfl.org, or by calling 239-334-0222 (239-658-3513 in Immokalee).

Five tips for new parents when baby won’t stop crying » Swaddling.

Wrap your baby in a blanket so they feel secure. » Side or stomach position. Hold your baby so they’re lying on their side or stomach. But always put them on their back when going to sleep — and never co-sleep with your baby. » Shushing. Create “white noise” that drowns out other noises: run the vacuum cleaner, hair drier, fan or clothes dryer. » Swinging.

Create a rhythmic motion of any kind.

For example, take your baby for a ride in a stroller or car. » Sucking. Let the baby suck on something, such as a pacifier.

SOURCE: Adapted

by Children’s Home Society of Florida from Dr. Harvey Karp’s “The Happiest Baby on the Block”

About Children’s Home Society of Florida The Children’s Home Society of Florida, headquartered in Orlando, is a nonprofit organization that serves more than 50,000 children and family members annually with programs like Healthy Families. It also provides other early childhood programs, counseling, community solutions and child welfare.

32 » SEPTEMBER 2018 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

safety »

And what to do if your child should ever be missing. BY TRACY O’GRADY

I

n February 2018, a missing Cape Coral girl was found safe in Alabama. The Florida Department of Law Enforcement had issued an Amber Alert for 8-year-old Juliet Odierna after her biological mother and stepfather took her from school. Each was subsequently charged with interference with custody, a third-degree felony.

While Juliet’s story has a relatively satisfying ending, other Florida kidnapping and abduction cases that have relied on the Amber Alert system don’t.

Nine-year-old Diana Alvarez, who vanished May 29, 2016, from her San Carlos Park home, was never found. It was four days after her disappearance that an Amber Alert was issued.

One day after Carlie Brucia went missing, an 11-year-old whose abduction in February 2004 in Sarasota was caught on security camera, the Amber Alert was issued. However, three days later, she was found strangled to death.

An Amber Alert can be broadcast in as little as an hour, a day or, as Diana’s case shows, much longer. Not every case meets the very specific criteria immediately.

A WORK IN PROGRESS “We’ve had over 220 Amber Alerts [statewide] since its inception (in 2000),” says Peter Warren, senior management analyst supervisor with FDLE, the state agency responsible for issuing Amber Alerts. “We’ve had almost 70 direct recoveries due to the alert. That means we got the child back based directly on the alert.”

Amber Alerts in Southwest Florida are not common. In June 2017, Lee County experienced a successful recovery of a 15-year-old girl whose grandfather had reported her being forced into a vehicle by an 18-yearold family acquaintance. The Amber

»

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » SEPTEMBER 2018 » 33

Alert was activated, and the Florida Highway Patrol stopped the car.

WHAT IS AN AMBER ALERT?

LEARN MORE To read more about Amber Alerts and Missing Child Alerts, consider these online resources: » Florida Department of Law Enforcement: www.fdle.state.fl.us » Amber Alert: amberalert.gov » Florida Missing Child Alert system: missingchildrenalert.com

34 » SEPTEMBER 2018 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

The Amber Alert system began in 1996 in Dallas, Texas, when police and broadcasters partnered to develop an early warning system after 9-year-old Amber Hagerman was kidnapped and murdered. You’ll often see the term in all caps — AMBER — for America’s Missing: Broadcast Emergency Response.

Less than a decade later, all 50 states had Amber Alert plans. The Department of Justice reported in March 2018 that 924 children nationwide had been rescued specifically because of the Amber Alert system.

The Florida Amber Alert plan, established in 2000, is operated at the state level by the FDLE. Each request for an Amber Alert originates from a local law enforcement agency, says Jessica Cary, a spokesperson for the FDLE. “They’ll make the determination on whether to contact the FDLE, and then they run it by the local FDLE office in Fort Myers and then Tallahassee to see if it should be issued.”

Warren says.

When an Amber Alert is issued in Florida, the information goes to a variety of outlets: television and radio stations, Department of Transportation highway signs, digital billboards, the Florida lottery, various internet destinations and text alerts on mobile phones.

Facebook and Google also push out Amber Alert information. You can also opt-in to receive Amber Alert emails at missingchildrenalert.com.

Warren says from the time the FDLE is contacted and the criteria is verified between local law enforcement and the state agency, an Amber Alert can be issued in under an hour. Verifying the criteria, however, doesn’t always happen that fast. It can be days before an Amber Alert is issued, Warren says.

“The situations are so varied, there is no standard time,” he adds.

An Amber Alert can also cross state lines. Warren explains that if a kidnapping happens in a border state, like Georgia or Alabama, and the local law enforcement agency there knows the child and suspected abductor are in Florida, they can contact the FDLE and the FDLE could issue the Amber Alert on behalf of the other state.

HOW DOES IT WORK?

WHAT’S NOT AN AMBER ALERT?

There are five criteria that must be met for the FDLE to issue an Amber Alert: » There must be a clear indication of abduction. » The person must be younger than 18. » Local law enforcement must conclude the child’s life is in danger. » There must be a detailed description of the child, suspected abductor and/or vehicle or other mode of transportation. » The Amber Alert activation must be recommended by local law enforcement.

“The criteria is maintained by the FDLE. It doesn’t differ by county,”

If all five criteria are not met, the FDLE will not issue an Amber Alert.

Instead, a Missing Child Alert may be released.

“Missing children are also very much considered endangered,” Cary says.

This alert is used when a child is missing and may be in danger, but there is no indication of abduction. Descriptive information and a photograph of the child must be available. The FDLE says a Missing Child Alert may evolve into an Amber Alert if the law enforcement investigation later reveals the child has been abducted.

The Missing Child Alert began in 2003, and it also uses an emergency broadcast to release the information.

safety » (continued) »

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Warren, a passionate advocate for the technology to help recover missing children, recommends people sign up to receive Amber Alert and Missing Child Alerts directly to their emails at missingchildrenalert.com.

“The more people who sign up, the more powerful a tool it becomes,” he says. “You can walk out your door, and you can be the one who saves somebody’s life just by doing what you normally do — checking your email.”

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This should be a straight headshot with the child looking directly at the camera and without any accessories like hats or sunglasses. » Do not delay reporting your child missing.

Contact law enforcement immediately. There is no waiting period to report a minor’s disappearance.

Even if there is no immediate proof of an abduction, the FDLE might issue a Missing Child Alert if the other criteria is met. » If you are divorced, keep your marriage

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settlement agreement and court-approved parenting plan easily accessible. Children often know

who their abductor is. “Even in the most amicable situations, the paperwork gives law enforcement a better idea if actual abduction has taken place or if the terms of the agreement have been kept,” Warren says. » If you did witness a kidnapping, do your best to remember critical details, like the abductor’s height, weight, hair color, ethnicity, tattoos, or any other markings or distinguishing characteristics. Also, try to remember the make, model and color

of the vehicle, any damage to the vehicle, and, most importantly, the license plate. “Any of it. Even if you can get just a portion of it, that can really get the investigation going quickly,” Warren says.

Having the details listed above can sometimes speed up the time it takes to verify the criteria needed to issue an Amber Alert. In the case of Diana Alvarez, reports show the FDLE was working with local law enforcement agencies to find a photo of Alvarez’s suspected abductor. She is still missing. Her suspected abductor, Jorge Guerrero-Torres, is charged with first degree murder and is in custody without bond.

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SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » SEPTEMBER 2018 » 35

« cover story

‘Hey,

STORY BY ANDREA STETSON

NEW MOMS, we’re here

TO HELP Where pregnant women and new parents can turn for support, advice and camaraderie

36 » SEPTEMBER 2018 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

’

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » SEPTEMBER 2018 » 37

GETTY IMAGES

« cover story (continued)

ou’ve read tons of books about babies, sought advice from relatives and purchased piles of baby supplies, but when the newborn finally arrives, there’s no manual that prepares new parents for everything. There are new emotions, crazy sleep patterns, breastfeeding obstacles and more. That’s why groups that support, encourage and give knowledgeable advice become so important.

One of the most comprehensive groups is The Fourth Trimester Club. It meets twice a month at the Healthy Life Centers at Coconut Point and the Cape Coral Hospital.

Carrie Bloemers, manager of the Healthy Life Center, says “fourth trimester,” or that year after baby arrives, is a time of adjustment for new parents.

38 » SEPTEMBER 2018 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

“It is meant to provide connection and support during that first year,” Carrie explains. “There is a stigma about postpartum. Overwhelmed is normal, and everyone experiences it. We think we are the only ones experiencing it, and we want them to know they are not alone.”

Samantha Fedorczyk, who comes with her 6-month-old son, Dominic, says it’s that feeling of sharing the experiences and emotions that she likes best about Fourth Trimester.

“I love being able to talk to other moms,” she says. “All the babies are at different stages, so I can see the different stages, and if I have questions, I can get the answers. He wasn’t sleeping, and it really helped my mental health to be here and see what other moms are feeling, so I was not feeling it alone.”

Each session has a topic, such as nutrition, baby massage or sleep patterns. It also acts as a referral service for other groups, such as breastfeeding support. But even more useful is the advice moms give each other.

The afternoon begins with introductions of all the moms and babies. The moms of older babies patiently give advice to the newer moms.

On a recent Thursday afternoon, Alisanne Colkitt, who came with son Jozsef, 1, told Lindsey Cavalcante about the 360 cup that does not spill. She also gave her advice on a great pair of squeaky shark shoes that were encouraging her son to walk. Lindsey hopes to eventually try both products with her son Samuel, 5 months.

“I started when he was 2 weeks old,” Alisanne says. “I just love being with all the moms. It’s nice for him to be around other kids.

They have a lot of interesting things — essential oils, baby massage. They have interesting things to learn. Carrie is good at answering questions, and other moms are good at answering questions.”

When Alisanne started, she was the one seeking advice, now she enjoys dispersing it to others. Danielle Green came with Jameson, 5 weeks.

“It was just to get out of the house and learn things and meet people. It’s nice to see the different ages,” she says.

During the program, moms breastfeed, children squeal and cry, and it’s all accepted.

“They are always going to make noise, and they are always going to cry, and we don’t care,” Carrie tells the new moms.

Both Healthy Life Centers also have a car seat safety class once a month rotating between Estero and Cape Coral. Both Fourth Trimester and the car seat program are free. Every Tuesday, there’s a Babes and Baby fitness class for $5.

Another group for new moms in Southwest Florida is La Leche League, which focuses on breastfeeding information and support. The group encourages both moms with babies and pregnant women to attend.

In Naples, the group meets the second Friday of the month at Center Point Community Church. Coordinator Lina Boyle says they can have anywhere from two to 30 moms attend.

Her group also has a large Facebook following.

“It is a mixture of new moms and moms like myself that have four,” she says. “Moms are welcome to bring older kids and their babies.

And pregnant moms are welcome. It is a big support group for everything breastfeeding and everything that comes with breastfeeding.”

Who to contact Here’s information to help you get more details on the resources we’ve mentioned: THE FOURTH TRIMESTER CLUB » Where: Two

Healthy Life Center locations: Coconut Point, 23190 Fashion Drive, Estero (239-495-4475) and at the Family Birth Place in the Cape Coral Hospital, 609 S.E. 13th Court, Cape Coral (239-424-3210) » When: Meets at noon every other Thursday at the Coconut Point location, 10 a.m. at the Cape Coral location (call for dates) » Online: leehealth.org/healthylifecenter

LA LECHE LEAGUE » The Collier County group

meets at 10 a.m. the second Friday of the month at Center Point Community Church, 6590 Golden Parkway, Naples. For details, call Lina Boyle at 239287-5368.

The Lee County group meets at 6:30 p.m. the third Wednesday of the month at the Cape Coral Hospital (call first; the group had no participation in summer).

For details, contact Kathy Wallace at 239-834-8390 or mkhw1394@gmail.com.

For information about La Leche League International, visit llli.org.

WIC » In Lee County, contact the Women, Infants and Children Nutrition Program at 239-344-2000 or lee. floridahealth.gov/programs-and-services/clinical-andnutrition-services/wic.

In Collier County, contact WIC at 239-252-8208 (Naples), 239-353-1274 (Golden Gate), 239-252-7310 (Immokalee) or collier.floridahealth.gov/programs-andservices/clinical-and-nutrition-services/wic

MOMS CLUB » A support group for stay-at-home

moms. Its acronym stands for Moms Offering Moms Support. Various chapters have formed throughout the country.

Moms Club (national group): momsclub.org (click on “Find a Chapter” to locate a group near you or start your own) MOMS Club of Naples: momsclubofnaples. wixsite.com/naples or for information on joining the group email the membership vice president at momsclubofnaples@gmail.com. The annual fee is $35 (which mostly goes toward helping needy moms and children in the community).

MOMS Club of Fort Myers-Estero: momscluboffortmyersestero@gmail.com

A MOM’S HELPING HAND OF SOUTHWEST FLORIDA » An organization that supports single moms. Details at amomshelpinghandofswfl.com

NOTE: If you’d like to share additional resources with us, email editor@swflparentchild.com.

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » SEPTEMBER 2018 » 39

« cover story (continued)

The group meets in a church nursery room, so there are toys for older kids to play with during the meeting.

Lee County used to have meetings in Fort Myers, Lehigh Acres and Cape Coral. Now there is only the Cape Coral group, and they are waiting for moms to attend.

“Right now, we have none,” Kathy Wallace told us in July.

She’s been a La Leche leader for 36 years. “It comes, and it goes. If we get a big interest, we might branch off and have a south Fort Myers group. If we have a need, it will happen.”

The group talks about breastfeeding, adjusting to a newborn in the house, how to avoid breastfeeding difficulties, nutrition and weening.

Nutrition is so important that to help low-income women ensure their children get good nutrition, each county health

40 » SEPTEMBER 2018 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

department runs a Women, Infants and Children, or WIC, program for pregnant women and moms with children age 5 and younger. Funding comes from federal grants and includes supplemental food, health care referrals and nutrition education.

“We are a nutrition and breastfeeding program for women and children who quality based on income,” says Betsey Lunsford, WIC breastfeeding coordinator for the Lee County Department of Health.

And last, but certainly not least, is one of the biggest support groups for moms: the MOMS Club. It’s an international organization that holds monthly meetings and small playgroups. While the older children do things like field trips, park days, arts and crafts, and service projects, the moms with

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newborns focus on supporting each other and giving their babies some of their first interactions with other little ones. A group in Naples founded a chapter just last year.

“We do have age-based play dates, and in the case of newborns, we have tummy-time play dates, where babies — newborns to about 6 months old — get together,” explains Jen Moen, administrative vice president of the MOMS Club of Naples. “These play dates mostly take place at a mom’s home. We have found this the easiest place for moms to talk and tend to their babies, but it can also be at a coffee shop or other place that easily accommodates newborns, and siblings are allowed to also attend these play dates. We also do meal trains for members that just had a baby.”

There’s also a newly established chapter in the Fort Myers-Estero area.

“Activities are voted on by the members,” says Amanda Wolf, founder and president of the MOMS Club of Fort Myers-Estero. “Subgroups within our chapter can be formed to focus on special interests, such as moms with newborns, moms with toddlers, moms who craft, etc. This way activities can then be created to cater to those subgroups’ interests.”

The MOMS Clubs also give back to the community by helping local charities.

“New moms, or any moms, can benefit from our group in many ways,” Amanda says. “Being a stay-athome mom isn’t as glamorous as one may think. It can make a mother feel isolated from the outside world and a prisoner in their own home. A stay-at-home mother can go days without having any adult interaction. It can get very lonely. MOMS Club understands this and would like to offer support to those who need it by providing companionship with others who may share the same feelings or interests. Also, new moms may have a hard time finding friends with children close to their child’s age. MOMS Club can help connect mothers with others to coordinate playdates.”

EDITOR’S NOTE: This article is by no means ex-

haustive of all groups supportive of new moms. Many informal groups have formed through online tools like Facebook and meetup.com. We’ll use this article as a springboard to begin a list of resources on our website for parents in Southwest Florida. There are also groups that lend support to parents of children of all ages, such as A Mom’s Helping Hand of Southwest Florida, which offers support to single moms. If you would like to add a group, please contact editor Pamela Hayford at pamela@swflparentchild.com.

Being a stay-at-home mom isn’t as glamorous as one may think.

It can make a mother feel isolated from the outside world and a prisoner in their own home. A stay-at-home mother can go days without having any adult interaction. It can get very lonely.

—AMANDA WOLF

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » SEPTEMBER 2018 » 41

« safety corner CHR ISTI R . K ULWICK I

Car seats made simple

Written by Christi R. Kulwicki, of the North Fort Myers Fire Control District, on behalf of Safe Kids Southwest Florida.

42 » SEPTEMBER 2018 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

or booster. It doesn’t matter where they sit in a vehicle; they must always be in a car seat or booster. This also means that if your child is 3 or younger, your child is to be restrained in a car seat or your vehicle’s built-in car seat. It is not acceptable to have a 2- or 3-year-old in a booster seat.

As a parent, I respect the law and follow it to a T, because there is good intention there. I want my children’s safety to be on point to the best of my ability and not give in to the pressure that society puts on our children that car seats aren’t cool.

Which now leads into best practice. The question comes up quite often: What is the best car seat for my child? The answer is simple. When choosing a child restraint device, you need to refer to the needs of your child, the vehicle and the ability of the person using the seat. Do your research. The internet is filled with information to guide you to find a car seat that will best fit you and your child’s needs. NHTSA safety facts show that, in 2015, 248 children younger than 5 were saved by a car seat.

Take advantage of the Safe Kids Worldwide Ultimate Car Seat Guide when researching and installing. It will walk you through the process. Be sure to read your car seat manual and the vehicle’s manual. You will learn a wealth of knowledge on what your seat and your vehicle is meant and not meant to do.

Even though car seats and boosters are law, car crashes are still the leading cause of death among ages 1-13, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. This is a prime reason why it is important to understand your vehicle, car seat and your child’s needs. NHTSA safety facts also show that 35 percent of children younger than 13 who were not in a car seat, booster or seatbelt were killed in 2015. Do your research, read your manuals, visit a car seat fitting station near you, and provide the best safety accommodations for your little one.

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C

ount to 10.

Take a break.

Inhale. Exhale.

Long deep breaths. Ease your anxiety over proper car seat installation. It doesn’t have to be difficult.

We as care givers — which includes not just the full-time parents but also extended family members, such as Grandma, Grandpa and my little one’s favorite Auntie — would give anything to keep our kiddies safe. That’s why frustration can arise when installing a seat. There are steps to understand: best seat, best practice, the law and how they all coincide together.

Car seat installation doesn’t need to be complicated, but multiple organizations recognize that it can be. Here are some online resources to help you understand how to install your car seat: » safekids.org/car-seat » flhsmv.gov/safety-center/child-safety » fdot.gov/safety/2A-Programs/OP/CPS.shtm » The Safe Kids Worldwide Ultimate Car Seat Guide aims to simplify the process: safekids.org/ultimate-car-seat-guide These webpages not only provide helpful tips and tricks, but you can also look up your local car seat fitting station to receive one-on-one instruction from an expert who is certified in car seat installation. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration says 59 percent of car seats are used incorrectly. Car seat techs can see if yours is one of them.

At a bare minimum, use Florida law as your baseline. All children ages 5 and younger must be in a child restraint device no matter where they sit in a vehicle. Children 3 and younger must be in a child restraint device of a separate carrier or a vehicle manufacture’s integrated car seat.

Let’s break this down: If your child is 5 years old or younger, that child must be in a car seat or booster. It doesn’t matter how big or small that child is; the child must always be in a car seat

Safe Kids is a nonprofit coalition of agencies and organizations dedicated to eliminating preventable childhood injuries. Visit safekidsswfl.org.

family album »

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Kids in Southwest Florida celebrate the first day of school. 1.

Tyler McNeely starts sixth grade. 2. Nathan McNeely starts fourth grade. 3. Kaitlyn McNeely starts third grade. 4. Claire Dean starts second grade at Evangelical Christian School in Fort Myers. 5. Jordan, 7, is excited to start second grade. 6. Koda Allen, of Cape Coral, starts first grade. 7. Ryleigh Clay starts kindergarten. 8. Layla Campbell starts kindergarten. 9. Jazlyn Ramirez, 5, starts kindergarten. 10. Leighton Dean, 3, starts prekindergarten at the Evangelical Christian School in Fort Myers. 11. Paris Dozier, 9, starts school. 12. Cole Giampi, 6, starts first grade. 13. Carter Giampi, 3, starts prekindergarten.

14. Aaliyah Dozier, 7, starts school.

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« family album

Just another day in Paradise » Shelby Fuller, 6 months, lounges on Bunche Beach in south Fort Myers.

Photo by Lady In Pink Photography

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Preparing for college » Graduates of Guadalupe Center’s Tutor Corps program are heading off to college with stylish new apparel and items for their dorm rooms, courtesy of Guadalupe Resale Shop. Above: Mikenly Abel, Marie Rhau and Chrisla Pierre. Photos special to SWFL Parent & Child

Send Us Your Snapshots

Babcock school celebrates »

Send your images with a brief description and names of the people in them to editor@ swflparentchild.com

Former Gov. Jeb Bush, left, joined Syd Kitson, elected officials and community and education leaders to celebrate the grand opening of the new Babcock Neighborhood School in Babcock Ranch. Photo special to SWFL Parent & Child

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » SEPTEMBER 2018 » 45

Finding Neptune » Jasmine,

left, and Maya Hoffman, of Cape Coral, received an unforgettable experience for their parents’ 20th wedding anniversary. As a gift to their mom, Meredith, their dad, Tim Hoffman, commissioned a portrait of the family’s beloved dog Neptune by artist Gretchen Kish Serrano, also known as simply KISH. When the artist heard Jasmine and Maya love art, she invited them to help with the initial splashes (it’s done in her DRIP series inspired by Jackson Pollock) and stamp their handprints on the back. The family also wrote a message to Neptune that the artist will paint on the back. Photos special to SWFL Parent & Child

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family album »

World Champion » Dunbar High School

sophomore Kevin Dimaculangan won the 2018 Microsoft Office Specialist World Championship for Excel 2016 on August 1 in Orlando. He’s the only America student to win one of the six categories this year and the only American student to finish in the Top 3 in each category. Photo special to SWFL Parent & Child

One tree at a time » About 40 volunteers for

the Future Forestry Foundation planted about 450 trees at an event in August. For more information about their tree-planting projects, visit onetree.org. Above: Charles Ringland and his son Samuel, 5, dig a hole to plant a pine tree along Veterans Memorial Parkway in Cape Coral. Left: John Ringland carries his grandson Beau, 2. Photos by Amanda Inscore

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Great Smoky Mountains

Sevier County

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travel »

PHOTOS COURTESY OF PELICAN GRAND

1.

A long day’s drive north, or a few hours’ flight, takes Southwest Florida families to a place where history, nature, adventure, fine cuisine and music wrap up into one delightful destination. BY JENNIFER THOMAS

PHOTOS COURTESY OF TENNESSEE DEPARTMENT OF TOURIST DEVELOPMENT

Cades Cove

he beauty of Tennessee is it offers many different types of vacations. For the nature lover, for the thrill seeker, for the history buff, for the country music fan and even the rock ‘n’ roll devotee, this destination is worth exploring. Add the autumn colors of reds and golden yellows, and you’ve got a perfect fall getaway with rolling hills

of trees changing colors and mountain views.

The state is full of sights, but it’s also rich in sounds — and not just musical sounds, says Tennessee Department of Tourist Development spokesperson Amanda Stravinsky.

“Tennessee sounds are a cook declaring ‘order’s up’ at a bustling mom-and-pop eatery, the crackling of fried chicken in the skillet at Gus’s World Famous Fried Chicken in Memphis, or the rhythmic swoosh when a fly fisher casts out,” she explains. “The sounds of Tennessee

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PHOTOS COURTESY OF PELICAN GRAND

« travel (continued)

are the laughter of families experiencing Dollywood for the first time and the crunch of leaves underneath a hiker’s boots in Great Smoky Mountains National Park, America’s No. 1 most visited national park, or the sounds of NASCAR at Bristol Motor Speedway.”

For kids, Tennessee is an instant American history lesson.

“Told from river to mountain through preserved battlefields and archaeological sites, Tennessee’s history is known around the world because of places like Shiloh National Battlefield, the National Civil Rights Museum in Memphis, Green McAdoo Cultural Center in Clinton, the homes of President Andrew Jackson in Nashville, President James K. Polk in Columbia and President Andrew Johnson in Greeneville, and the story of World War I hero Sgt. Alvin C. York in Pall Mall,” Amanda says. “Learn about how a secret city transformed during World War II at the Manhattan Project National Historic Park in Oak Ridge.”

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It’s also an outdoors destination where families can unplug at 56 awardwinning state parks.

“Cast a line at Norris and Dale Hollow lakes; whitewater raft the Ocoee, America’s top whitewater center; stop for some great Southern cuisine and a tour at Casey Jones Village in Jackson, and don’t miss the expansive Discovery Park of America in Union City,” Amanda says.

Lehigh Acres mom of two Julie Beaird appreciates Tennessee. She not only lived there for more than 12 years, she ventures back annually to Knoxville with her children, Rachel, 16, and Mason, 13, who were both born in this state.

Julie says the change of seasons and the mountains are two of her mostloved attributes of Tennessee.

“The kids love their friends, the change of colors with the leaves and the snow,” she adds. “Tennessee has so much to offer all ages. We loved Knoxville, because it offers so much for the family. It’s a big city with

a small-town feel. It is so close to Pigeon Forge, Gatlinburg, Sevierville, but it’s also only an hour and a half to Chattanooga.”

KNOXVILLE In Knoxville, midway up the east side of the state, Julie recommends visiting the Zoo Knoxville, Victor Ashe Park, Neubert Springs Farm, which belongs to a family friend, and the Cruze Farm Dairy, known for its ice cream and pizza.

“When we went up last March, we found the Cruze Farm Dairy. The ice cream is delicious. I’m sure we’ll make it a tradition to stop by there each visit,” Julie says. “In the winter, there is an outdoor ice skating rink on Market Square in downtown Knoxville. And after Thanksgiving there is the Fantasy of Trees festival.”

You’ll find charm in places like Tennessee Theatre, Market Square and at the WDVX Radio Blue Plate Special, a live performance radio show held at noon every weekday in the Knoxville Visitor Center.

“Enjoy the bustling downtown, South-

travel (continued) » ern farm-to-table dishes at Bistro at the Bijou, hiking at Urban Wilderness (a recreational area that has 1,000 acres of forest along downtown’s south waterfront) and Ijams Nature Center, and seeing tigers at the Knoxville zoo,” Amanda recommends.

“Experience history and culture at the Knoxville Museum of Art and the East Tennessee History Center. Visit James White’s Fort, the birthplace of Knoxville, or a house museum including Blount Mansion and Crescent Bend House & Gardens.”

GATLINBURG Julie and her kids have also spent time in the Gatlinburg area in east Tennessee on the west side of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. In Gatlinburg, they stayed at the Wilderness at the Smokies, a water park resort and family adventure center that features indoor and outdoor water parks.

“My favorite thing was staying there and having a water park right onsite,” Julie says. “One water park is indoors,

so even in cold weather, you can have fun. Rachel and Mason loved the Storm Chaser, Indoor Tube Slides and The Great Wave. The outdoor water park is a lot of fun, too. Also onsite is a place to paint your own pottery, if you need a break from the water. The restaurants are good, too. It’s a complete family vacation all in one area.”

Julie says her family loves visiting Dollywood, Ripley’s Aquarium of the Smokies and WonderWorks in Pigeon Forge.

Amanda recommends the scenic views at the gateway to Great Smoky Mountains National Park, the Anakeesta aerial adventure park, Ober Gatlinburg (an amusement park and ski area) and the Great Smoky Mountains Arts and Crafts Community loop. For Southern cooking, she suggests Pancake Pantry or the Wild Plum Tea Room, or grab a cup of joe at Coffee & Company.

CHATTANOOGA Another area for families to consider is Chattanooga, which is on the banks of the Tennessee River in the southeast part of the state.

“Chattanooga is filled with worldclass attractions. The city is home to the Tennessee Aquarium; the 14-acre Chattanooga Zoo; Ruby Falls, America’s tallest underground waterfall; the Incline Railway, considered ‘America’s Most Amazing Mile,’ and Rock City Gardens, where the ‘See 7 States’ panoramic views, gardens … and ancient rock formations can be experienced,” Amanda describes.

But that is not all this culturally diverse city has to offer. There’s Songbirds Guitar Museum, the Tennessee Valley Rail Road Museum and award-winning restaurants like STIR and Hennen’s Steakhouse.

NASHVILLE In the middle of the state, Nashville is a family-friendly music haven.

“Music City is home to the Grand Ole Opry, Ryman Auditorium, and NHL’s Nashville Predators and NFL’s Tennessee Titans,” Amanda notes.

“Nashville has the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum and famous Studio B, where hits were made by Elvis Presley, Dolly Parton and Johnny Cash. Madame Tussauds celebrates iconic musical figures. Plaza Mariachi is a cultural center and marketplace with several eateries, salsa dancing and more. Uncover history and heritage at Andrew Jackson’s Hermitage.”

MEMPHIS On the west side of Tennessee, on the shores of the mighty Mississippi River, sits the vibrant city of Memphis, also rich with musical history.

“It’s the Home of the Blues and the Birthplace of Rock ‘n’ Roll,” Amanda says. “Walk in the footsteps of the King of Rock ‘n’ Roll at Graceland and Elvis Presley’s Memphis.

Pay tribute to musicians who shaped the world at the Memphis Music Hall of Fame and Memphis Rock ‘n’ Soul Museum or tour Sun Studio.”

The city is also rich in history and nature.

“Here families can trace how Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s dream changed the world at the National Civil Rights Museum,” Amanda says. “Or bike across the Mississippi River on the Big River Crossing, the longest pedestrian bridge in the U.S. Spot hippos, crocodiles and the famous pandas at the Memphis Zoo. Families can see a herd of buffalo, zip line or go horseback riding at Shelby Farms Park in Memphis, a 4,500-acre greenspace.”

From top left: Ripley’s Aquarium of the Smokies in Gatlinburg takes visitors underwater at Shark Lagoon. The over-21 members of the family may enjoy The Old Forge Distillery in Pigeon Forge, where distilling whiskey has been a tradition for more than 200 years.

Anakeesta in Gatlinburg is an aerial theme park for all ages that boasts scenic dining, the 16-bridge Tree Canopy Walk, zip lining, a Chondola ride to the summit of Anakeesta Mountain and more.

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« around town

GETTY IMAGES

Museum Day brings free admission

Festival promotes peace Every September, families across Southwest Florida gather at the SWFL Peace Day celebration to foster peace and goodwill. Each year, the free event grows larger and attracts more people. This year, the festival is 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Sunday, September 23 at the Alliance for the Arts in Fort Myers. There’ll be live music on three stages, live art projects, sidewalk art, yoga (starting at 8 a.m.), kids’ activities, food for all tastes and various vendors. New this year will be talks and workshops on sustainability topics, like zero waste, improved recycling, and the water and environment. Pets are welcome. There’ll be a blood drive and food drive, and pet food donations will be collected. There’ll be a plant swap, too. Get details at facebook.com/events/1636834519746965.

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In the spirit of the Smithsonian, museums and other cultural venues across the nation open their doors for free on Smithsonian magazine’s annual Museum Day, including several here in Florida. This year, Museum Day is Saturday, September 22.

Its theme, “Women Making History,” encourages venues to add programming that honors women trailblazers.

Participating places include the IMAG History & Science Center in Fort Myers and the Naples Depot Museum. While free, tickets are required. Get a full list of participating venues (and tickets) at smithsonian. com/museumday/search.

Nick's Kids Show returns Jam in a rock ‘n’ roll band, jump aboard a locomotive and be a star. Nick’s Kids Show returns to the Fishermen’s Village in Punta Gorda on Saturday, September 15. Shows are at noon, 1, 2 and 3 p.m. in the Center Court. The Punta Gorda police and fire departments will also be there to teach kids and parents about safety with K9 officers Chase and Skye and Sparky the Fire Pup. Admission and parking are free. If you go early, you can catch the Salty Paws Wiener Dog Derby at 11 a.m. Get details at 941639-8721 or fishville.com.

calendar » Tuesday, Sept. 4 Cursive Workshop » Paper Source at the Mercato, 9105 Strada Place, North Naples. Kids learn the art of handwriting in this new after-school program. The store has two six-week courses for ages 7-9 and 10-13. Kids learn the basics of cursive and practice their strokes with crafts. The workshops are 4 to 5 p.m. every Tuesday and Wednesday. Cost is $150.

Thursday, Sept. 6 Fishing Clinic » 10-11 a.m. Lovers Key State Park, 8700 Estero Blvd., Fort Myers Beach. A park naturalist teaches a variety of tackle and fresh bait rigs, where best to drop a line and the rules and regulations of fishing in Southwest Florida.

Reservations required. Included with regular admission, which is $4 for a vehicle with one occupant, $8 for a vehicle with 2-8 occupants, $2 for pedestrians and cyclists. 239463-4588.

PRESCHOOL & VPK

Friday, Sept. 7 Doug MacGregor Book Signing » 6-10 p.m. Macintosh Books at The Franklin Shops, 2200 First St., Fort Myers.

Southwest Florida-based cartoonist and author Doug MacGregor will be in store signing copies of his books.

His children’s titles include “Turtellini’s Amazing Sky High Adventures” and “Morgan McKinney’s Bigger-Than-Life Bedtime Story.” dougcreates.com Family Fridays » 4 p.m.-close. Zoomers, 17455 Summerlin Road, south Fort Myers. September through the first two weeks of November, families get two wristbands, a pizza and a pitcher of soda for $49.99 (additional wristbands $22.99). 239-481-9666. zoomersfun.com Hula Dance Class » 4:30-6 p.m. Fridays, September 7-28.

Alliance for the Arts, Fort Myers. For ages 3-16. Learn in the style of Hawaiian, Tahitian, Maori and Samoan. Ages 3-9 practice 4:30-5:15 p.m.; ages 10-16 practice 5:15-6 p.m. $25 for members, $30 for nonmembers. artinlee.org

Saturday, Sept. 8 Science Saturday » 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Miromar Outlets, 10801 Corkscrew Road, Estero. In WINK Playland. Join Mr. Glen and his Science and Engineering team for interactive science projects. miromaroutlets.com

DANCE

Celebrating Since 1951

All Ages

Classical Ballet Pointe Tap Jazz Hip Hop Modern Acrobatics Children’s Work

(239)334-3274 www.dancebochette.com NEWBORN CARE

Weekend Childbirth Education » 10 a.m.-3 p.m.

September 8 and 9. The Family Birth Center of Naples, 2930 Immokalee Road, Suite 2, Naples. Learn about stages of labor, pain coping practices, moving beyond your birth worries and more. Breastfeeding class included. 239-5940400. naplesbirthcenter.com

Monday, Sept. 10 Beginners Guide to Kayaking » 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Four Mile Cove Ecological Preserve, East end of Southeast 23rd Terrace, Cape Coral. Learn basic paddle strokes from an experienced guide. Classes taught by GAEA Guides. $40 per person (includes kayak use) (Must be able to lift 50 pounds and be in good physical condition). 239-549-4606.

Monday Mania » 4 p.m.-close. Zoomers, 17455 Summerlin Road, south Fort Myers. September through the first two SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » SEPTEMBER 2018 » 53

« calendar weeks of November, wristbands are buy one, get one free. zoomersfun.com

Tuesday, Sept. 11 Breastfeeding Class » 6:30-8:30 p.m. The Family Birth Center of Naples, 2930 Immokalee Road, Suite 2, Naples.

Learn how to successfully breastfeed your newborn baby, use breast pumps and transition to returning to work while breastfeeding, plus much more. 239-594-0400. naplesbirthcenter.com Home School Nature and Science Programs » 1-2:30 p.m. Rotary Park, 5505 Rose Garden Road, Cape Coral.

Programs from home-school students to learn about the nature and natural history of Florida. Make a related craft in some programs. For a board age group. Shoes and clothes appropriate for outdoor exploration required. Today’s class topic is Marine Biology. $5 per child. 239-549-4606.

Taking Shape STAR Leadership Class » 3 p.m. Maranatha School of Dance & the Arts, 822 Del Prado Blvd., Cape Coral. $75 per year (enrollment in a dance, music or art class required). A national youth leadership training program designed for studios, clubs and organizations that focuses on monthly themes of gratitude, giving, public speaking, positive self-image, respect, time management, budgeting and other topics. The first class is 3 to 4 p.m. Tuesday, September 11 and meets the second and fourth Tuesday of the month. 239-772-3309. maranathadance.com.

Wednesday, Sept. 12 Wild Edibles Walk » 11 a.m. Rotary Park, 5505 Rose Garden Road, Cape Coral. Learn how to identify edible plants in the wild and how to incorporate them into your landscaping. $5 per person. 239-549-4606.

Friday, Sept. 14 Mystery Walk » 6-8 p.m. Fort Myers River District, 1400 Jackson St., Fort Myers. A mystery scavenger hunt every second Friday of the month.

Party with a Purpose » 7-10 p.m. Silverspot, 9118 Strada Place, Naples. A fundraising event with a Caribbean Chic atmosphere, drinks, light bites, silent auction, raffle prizes, music and more. Benefits Youth Haven, an emergency residential shelter for abused, abandoned and neglected children and teens ages 6-18 in Southwest Florida.

Sensational Sharks » 10-11 a.m. Lovers Key State Park, 8700 Estero Blvd., Fort Myers Beach. Meet with a park naturalist for a talk about sharks. Reservations required.

Included with regular admission, which is $4 for a vehicle with one occupant, $8 for a vehicle with 2-8 occupants, $2 for pedestrians and cyclists. 239-463-4588.

Saturday, Sept. 15 Family Yoga with Kathryn » 10-11 a.m. Miromar Outlets, 10801 Corkscrew Road, Estero. In WINK Playland. A free 45-minute beginners’ yoga class for families with toddlers to tweens. Bring a mat. miromaroutlets.com Galloway Captiva Triathlon » September 15 and 16.

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South Seas Island Resort, Captiva Island. The first day features children’s fun races for ages 6-13 (three age groups). On Sunday, the adults swim a quarter mile, bike 10 miles and run 3.1 miles. A portion of the proceeds goes to Community Cooperative’s Growing Healthy Kids Programs. Kids’ race registration is $30, adult registration is $95 for individuals, $105 for Elite Male and Female. captivatri.org Hispanic Heritage Month Celebration with Dora and Diego » September 15-16. Naples Zoo, 1590 GoodletteFrank Road, Naples. With regular zoo admission, enjoy music, dancing and games by The Fantastic Party Factory and special guests Dora the Explorer and Diego, star of “Go Diego Go!” The characters will be at Canyon’s Edge for a fiesta in celebration of Hispanic Heritage Month, and they’ll be ready to meet kids and pose for photos. 239-262-5409. napleszoo. org History Saturday » 11 a.m. IMAG History & Science Center, 2000 Cranford Ave., Fort Myers. Included in admission.

History Saturday is the third Saturday of the month, while Science Saturday is the first Saturday. Enjoy interactive experiences above and beyond IMAG’s more than 60 exhibits. theimag.org Nick’s Kids Show » Noon-4 p.m. Fishermen’s Village, 1200 W. Retta Esplanade, Punta Gorda. Nick’s Kids Show returns with shows at noon, 1, 2 and 3 p.m. in the Center Court. The Punta Gorda police and fire departments will also be there to teach kids and parents about safety with K9 officers Chase and Skye and Sparky the Fire Pup. Admission and parking are free. If you go early, you can catch the Salty Paws Wiener Dog Derby at 11 a.m. 941-639-8721. fishville.com.

Strikes for Scholarships » 4-7 p.m. HeadPinz Entertainment Center, 14513 Global Parkway, Fort Myers. An afternoon of bowling, silent auction, food and fun while raising money for scholarships. $40 for the VIP Bowler (includes extra perks, 2 hours of bowling, shoes and food), $30 for the Regular Bowler (2 hours of bowling, shoes and food) and $15 for the Child Bowler ages 7 and younger (2 hours of bowling, shoes and food).

Tiki Festival » 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Moose Lodge, 155 Santa Barbara Blvd. North, Cape Coral. Free admission. Wear your favorite tropical attire. Vendors, crafts, children’s characters, horseshoes, cornhole, barbecue, live music, food, drinks and more. facebook.com/localladiessouthflorida.

Sunday, Sept. 16 Bluegrass Concert » 2-5 p.m. Alliance for the Arts, 10091 McGregor Blvd., Fort Myers. $15. A fusion of American country music, Irish, Scottish and English ballads, and traditional dance music, with a heaping helping of jazz influence. artinlee.org

Tuesday, Sept. 18 Creative Minds Records Talent Search » 7 p.m. Broadway Palm, 1380 Colonial Blvd., Fort Myers. Creative Minds Records, a Florida-based indie record label, is hosting a talent search open to vocalists and vocal groups of all ages. At the end of the show, the talent management team at CMR will select one winner to receive a $2,500 cash prize and the chance to sign a record deal that includes worldwide marketing and distribution. A special invited guest will give

calendar » a surprise performance after the winner is announced to close the show. A portion of proceeds benefits The Lewis P. Tabarrini Children’s Music Outreach Foundation. Audience admission is $10 at the door. Free to submit entry and perform; registration required

by September 8. 239-980-5674. CMRTalentSearch.com Florida Snakes Talk » 1-2 p.m. Rotary Park, 5505 Rose Garden Road, Cape Coral. Learn about the native snake species found in Southwest Florida, how to identify venomous snakes and the importance of snakes as mother nature’s pest control.

Free but reservations requested. 238-549-4606.

Mindful Parenting Online Class » 6:30 p.m. Tuesdays, September 18-November 13. Hosted by Unity of Fort Myers, 11120 Ranchette Road, Fort Myers. In this weekly online class, learn how the challenges of parenting can become opportunities for spiritual awakening. The class explores how emotional intelligence in parenting needs to begin with one’s self. $25 per class. unityoffortmyers.org/classes

Wednesday, Sept. 19 Moms Appreciation Day » 10 a.m.-noon. Miromar Outlets, 10801 Corkscrew Road, Estero. In WINK Playland, moms receive a coupon for a free drink and treat from le macaron french pastries while the kids participate in free crafts.

Nutrition Class » 7-8:30 p.m. The Family Birth Center of Naples, 2930 Immokalee Road, Suite 2, Naples. Nutrition for pregnancy, lactation, postpartum and family. 239-594-0400.

Register by emailing FBCNaples@gmail.com.

Wellfit Girls Open House » 4:30-6 p.m. House of Gaia, 1660 Trade Center Way, Suite 1, Naples. Wellfit Girls, a leadership, fitness and empowerment program for teen girls, is holding an open house for high school girls and their parents to learn about the program and get scholarship information. Interested participants can download the application at wellfitgirls.org/ apply. Deadline for the 2019 program is October 12.

Friday, Sept. 21 Disney On Ice presents “Mickey’s Search Party” » September 21-23. Germain Arena, 11000 Everblades Parkway, Estero. Tickets start at $20. See the magic closer than ever before through dynamic and immersive moments that take place on the ice, in the air and in the seats. The show features a collection of Disney characters portrayed by decorated performer-athletes. Their theatrical talent combined with this innovative Disney On Ice production elevates the live entertainment experience and will leave families with memories that will last a lifetime. Shows are 10:30 a.m. and 7 p.m.

September 21, 2 and 6 p.m. September 22 and 1 and 5 p.m.

September 23. disneyonice.com.

Music Walk » 6-10 p.m. Fort Myers River District, 1400 Jackson St., Fort Myers. Free. From jazz and blues to rock ‘n’ roll, many genres can be heard along the streets of downtown Fort Myers each month.

Walk on the Wild Side » 10-11 a.m. Lovers Key State Park, 8700 Estero Blvd., Fort Myers Beach. Join a park ranger for a guided hike along Black Island Trail. Learn about the vegetation and wildlife that reside in this maritime hammock.

Do some bird watching, and maybe learn a little local history.

Reservations required. Free with regular park admission, which is $4 for a vehicle with one person, $8 for a vehicle with 2-8 people, $2 for pedestrians and cyclists. 239-463-4588.

Saturday, Sept. 22 Museum Day » All day. In the spirit of the Smithsonian, museums and other cultural venues across the nation open their doors for free on Smithsonian magazine’s annual Museum Day, including several here in Florida. Participating venues include the IMAG History & Science Center in Fort Myers and the Naples Depot Museum. While free, tickets are required. Get a full list of participating venues (and tickets) at smithsonian.com/museumday/search.

National Public Lands Day » 7 a.m.-7 p.m. J.N. “Ding” Darling National Wildlife Refuge, 1 Wildlife Drive, Sanibel.

Free self tours on Wildlife Drive. Narrated tram tours at 10 a.m., 12:30 and 3 p.m., free admission to the “Ding” Darling Visitor & Education Center. Discounts on bike, kayak and paddleboard rentals. Make-and-take crafts 10 a.m.-3 p.m.

Hidden Treasures of Ding Caravan following a naturalist on Wildlife Drive for up-close viewings 9:30-11 a.m. (bring water, sunscreen and insect repellant). dingdarlingsociety.org

Sunday, Sept. 23 SWFL Peace Day » 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Alliance for the Arts, 10091 McGregor Blvd., Fort Myers. Free. Live music, art, vendors, pet adoption, yoga, face painting, raffles, food and a whole bunch of fun at this community event in honor of International Peace Day. peaceday-in-thepark.com or facebook.com/events/1636834519746965.

Friday, Sept. 28 Kayak Tour » 10-11 a.m. Lovers Key State Park, 8700 Estero Blvd., Fort Myers Beach. Learn the history of Black Island and see wildlife. Bring your kayak or rent one from the in-park concession. Reservations required. Free with regular park admission, which is $4 for a vehicle with one person, $8 for a vehicle with 2-8 people, $2 for pedestrians and cyclists.

239-463-4588.

Saturday, Sept. 29 Chiropractic Awareness Day » 9 a.m.-noon. Lakes Regional Park, south Fort Myers. In the Shelter D-1 area near the splash pads. Free. Bounce house, face painters, photo booth, stilt-walking balloon twister, music, games, food, raffles and information about chiropractic care. 239-936-5545. facebook.com/chiroawareness2018 Fill the Bridge: NAMIWalks Southwest Florida » 7 p.m.

Centennial Park, downtown Fort Myers. NAMI Lee, Charlotte and Hendry counties hosts its first 5K walk to raise awareness and funds for mental health. Check-in begins at 6 p.m. Walk begins at 7 p.m. Activities for all ages 6-9 p.m. Register at namilee.org/namiwalks_swfl.

Community Garden Grand Opening » 9-11:30 a.m.

Golden Gate Community Center, 4701 Golden Gate Parkway, Naples. Free. There will be Gardening in SWFL 101 from a Master Gardener, hands on gardening demonstrations, Q&A, food tastings and recipes available. 239-252-4180.

Kids Day » 10 a.m.-noon. Miromar Outlets, 10801 Corkscrew Road, Estero. In WINK Playland. Toddlers to 12-year-olds participate in activities and receive a free slice of pizza and treats, while supplies last. miromaroutlets.com

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » SEPTEMBER 2018 » 55

« calendar Tropical Fun-Shine Polynesian Show » 7-9 p.m. Rotary Park, 5505 Rose Garden Road, Cape Coral. Swaying hula dancers tell a story with their hula hands to the music of the islands. Luau-type refreshments included; BYO wine, if you like. $20 tickets in advance or $30 at the door. 239-549-4606.

Sunday, Sept. 30 Southwest Wedding & Quinceañera Planning Expo » Noon. Charlotte County Memorial Auditorium, 75 Taylor St., Punta Gorda. Free admission and parking. Meet wedding and quinceañera professionals. Sample cakes and catered foods.

Enjoy a runway fashion show. Stay to 4 p.m. to win prizes.

Monday, Oct. 1 Beginners Guide to Kayaking » 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Four Mile Cove Ecological Preserve, East end of Southeast 23rd Terrace, Cape Coral. Learn basic paddle strokes from an experienced guide. Classes taught by GAEA Guides. $40 per person (includes kayak use). 239-549-4606.

Reflections on Glass: Fräbel in the Garden » Naples Botanical Garden, 4820 Bayshore Drive, Naples. A first of its kind in Naples, this whimsical show brings a collection of glass sculptures and installations by flamework glass artist Hans Godo Fräbel. On display through March 31 and included with regular admission, which is $14.95 for adults, $9.95 for ages 4-14, free for ages 3 and younger. naplesgarden.org

Friday, Oct. 5 First Friday Art Night » 7-9:30 p.m. Norris Center, 755 Eighth Ave. S., Naples. Every Friday, learn a new art form.

Bring a date or bring the kids (ages 8 and older). October 5: Masking Tape Witch. November 2: Weave a Basket. Cost is $35. Registration required. 239-213-3058.

Night of the Teenage Zombies » 7-9 p.m. October 5 and 6. Firehouse Community Theatre, Inc., 241 Bridge St., Labelle. $10. It’s a teenage zombie takeover, and it’s up to high school senior Mackenzie Thomas to defend the town.

Saturday, Oct. 6 Science Saturday » 11 a.m. IMAG History & Science Center, 2000 Cranford Ave., Fort Myers. Included in admission. The first Saturday of every month. History Saturday follows on the third Saturday. Enjoy interactive experiences above and beyond IMAG’s more than 60 exhibits. theimag.org SWFL Pride 2018 » Noon-5:30 p.m. Alliance for the Arts, 10091 McGregor Blvd., Fort Myers. Celebrate diversity with food, drinks and entertainment. Bring lawn chairs and blankets, but no coolers. artinlee.org or prideswfl.com Walk For Wishes » 7:30-11 a.m. Florida Gulf Coast University, 10501 FGCU Blvd. S., Fort Myers. A nationwide Make-A-Wish fundraiser that raises money to make wishes come true. A family-friendly event. 239-992-9474 ext. 29 or tlynn@sflawish.org.

FREE PRESCHOOL

RREGISTRATION NOW OPEN FOR

TWO CENTERS - ONE MISSION - ARTS FOR ALL -

FFALL 2018 YYOUTH CLASSES! CENTERS FOR THE ARTS BONITA SPRINGS

Art, theAter, Music, DAnce & Much More!

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AND DISCOUNTS ARE AVAILABLE AILABLE

Call 239-495-8989 Go Online www.artcenterbonita.org Or Visit Our Center for Performi Performing Arts 10 nitaa Springs 101150 Bonita Beach Rd, Bonita

Early Learning Coalition of SWFL can help your family with Voluntary Pre-Kindergarten If you live in Florida & your child turns 4 YEARS OLD by September 1, your child is eligible for the VPK program.

Some 5 year olds are also eligible.

For more information & to register your child: FamilyServicesFloridaEarlyLearning.com

www.elcofswfl.org NP-0000963818

56 » SEPTEMBER 2018 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

Serving Collier, Glades, Hendry & Lee Counties | (239) 935-6100

« voices

GUEST COLUMN

Maisy Adams is a Southwest Florida writer, doctoral student, wife and new mom. Follow her parenting musings and everyday adventures at maisyann.com.

Am I ready for baby No. 2?

B

abies. It seems like they’re everywhere. Every time I look at a newborn, I get this crazy rush of feelings that is a combination of adoration and anxiety. I still can’t believe I have a toddler now. My daughter is 18-months-old and the light of my life. She is dancing, talking and running all over the place. My husband has been ready to start trying for baby No. 2 since our daughter was about 6 months old. I, on the other hand, have been … hesitant.

I should preface this by saying that I have always wanted two children.

I was an only child for roughly 29 years of my life and was then given the gift of stepsiblings. It is rare that you’ll hear me say stepbrother or stepsister, because I just consider them my brothers and sister. However, I always wanted a sibling at a much younger age. My parents were cool about letting me take friends on vacation with us, but it just wasn’t the same as having a sibling. So I decided that when I had children, I wanted two of them.

Life changes when you actually have a child, though. I feel like after 18 months, I’m just finally getting the hang of this whole motherhood thing. Our day-to-day life is still chaotic, but it’s a somewhat controlled chaos at this point. The routine of day care and work has become relatively seamless.

I’m not sure that I’m ready to shake all of that up just yet.

I love my job, and the thought of going on maternity leave isn’t all that appealing to me. Yes, it’s time that I get to spend

bonding with my baby, but it’s also lonely. I had a rough time with postpartum depression after my daughter was born, and the thought of that happening again also makes me a little anxious. There are so many variables that go into this decision of having another baby.

Was I ever really ready for baby No. 1? I’m not sure I have an answer to that question. I was anxious before I had my daughter but for a lot of different reasons.

Would we be able to even have a child? I have polycystic ovary syndrome, or PCOS, so I wasn’t sure what our journey to parenthood would consist of. We were very lucky and conceived naturally. Then came a flood of other questions. I had never had a child before. What was giving birth going to be like? Would I be a good mom? Was I going to become a totally different person?

All of that answered itself, but I have different questions now.

Will conception be a struggle this time even though it wasn’t last time? Are we ready to be a family of four humans and two dogs?

This last question comes with so many sub-questions.

The comfort of what is known is very appealing, but if I never ventured into the unknown, I wouldn’t have the beautiful little soul that pops up out of her crib every morning to smile at me. Motherhood is a journey, and it is ever changing. For me, I think I’m going to let go and let life happen. We are as prepared as we can be. The fears and anxiety of a second baby will come and they will go, but I know at the end of the day when I see that little face it will all subside.

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » SEPTEMBER 2018 » 57

» a father’s view

Awkwardd

W

hen my oldest son, Jimmy, was 4 years old, he came home from school to declare he had a girlfriend. When pressed for details, he explained that a girl walked up to him on the playground and informed him that he was now her boyfriend, and that was it. It lasted three days until she walked up to him again and told him he wasn’t her boyfriend anymore.

Years removed from that playground experience, Jimmy started “dating” a girl at school when he was 13. This comes right after they were “talking.” My wife and I figured that this young relationship would be done and over within a few weeks, tops. I know myself, and I get attached to people. I sure didn’t want to get to know a girl who would be gone in as soon as a few weeks, so we simply pretended that she didn’t exist.

The big problem with my plan is that three weeks turned into six. Six turned into 18.

Before you know it, my wife and I were literally deciding how to engage his girlfriend in a con-

58 » SEPTEMBER 2018 » SWFLPARENTCHILD.COM

versation for the first time, a year into this relationship. Talk about awkward! It didn’t need to be, but I sure made it that way. The good news is I did eventually say hello, and that three weeks has turned into eight years.

I had made my mistake with Jimmy’s girlfriend, and I was determined not to do that again with Tiernan. He wasn’t very upfront about having a girlfriend, but as parents we all have spies.

My wife had done some sleuthing to find that he did indeed have a girlfriend and found out who she was.

It was soccer season and we were watching Tiernan play when my wife leaned over and pointed to a girl down the sidelines, telling me that she was the one. This time I was going to come right out of the gates and introduce myself. As soon as the game ended, I stood and looked around, intending to find her and say hello. As it turned out, she had already left the sidelines, and much to Tiernan’s joy, I could not embarrass him by talking to her.

A few days later, I was again at a game, sitting in the bleachers, when a young high school girl was suddenly smiling and wav-

ing at me. I didn’t know who she was and assumed she was waving at her friends nearby. I simply ignored her and went back to watching the soccer game. It turns out that I didn’t recognize she was Tiernan’s girlfriend. I hadn’t intentionally ignored her, like I did with Jimmy’s girlfriend, but it happened — a fact that I learned several hours later when Tiernan explained that I ignored his girlfriend, who was just trying to say hello to me.

The next time I saw her was again in the bleachers, and this time when she waved, I was prepared. I leaped out of my seat and excitedly waved back at her with a beaming smile. I looked like an absolute idiot, and it did nothing to end the awkwardness that I just can’t seem to avoid.

The dating thing is supposed to be awkward for the one who’s actually doing the dating, not us parents. But somehow it is equal parts natural and normal yet weird and uncomfortable, and I just haven’t gotten the whole thing figured out yet. I only have one more chance to not blow it when my son Ryan eventually has a girlfriend. Of course, there is always the priesthood.

GETTY IMAGES

Jim Dwyer is a Southwest Florida father of three boys.

JIM DW Y ER

SOUTHWEST FLORIDA PARENT & CHILD » SEPTEMBER 2018 » 59

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