Buddy Volunteer Handbook

BUDDY VOLUNTEER HANDBOOK

WWW.BUDDYSCHEME.COM

Contents Introduction Step 1 r role e te n lu o V e m e h c S y d About the Bud Step 2 How the Buddy Scheme work s

Step 3 Communicating with your Buddy

Step 4 Things to do together Step 5 aries d n u o B & ty li a ti n e d fi n Safeguarding, Co

Step 4 Things to do toget her

Welcome to our Buddy Scheme The Buddy Scheme is run by the Students’ Union to help incoming students or current students who may be isolated by matching them with current students (you!) who provide support by regularly keeping in touch and sharing their experiences and tips. The scheme offers the opportunity to make new friends from all walks of life and be a part of something that celebrates diversity in an informal, fun and sociable way.

Buddy Scheme could not function without people like you. The work that you will do in this role can really make a difference and this handbook is designed to support you to achieve the most out of your role.

What is the Buddy Scheme?

The Buddy Scheme is an informal peer support scheme consisting of Buddy Scheme Members and Buddy Scheme Volunteers, coordinated by the Students’ Union to help new students or those who would like a helping hand to make the most of life at university and in Brighton.

Definitions

Buddy Scheme Volunteers are current students who have volunteered to be paired with a new student or those that would like to meet new people. You will be expected to make email contact with your buddy/ies as soon as you have been matched and to meet or communicate with them on a regular basis to provide peer support and help them settle into life at University.

Buddy Scheme Members are new students at the University of Sussex or those currently at Sussex who may be isolated, who have signed up to be matched with a Buddy Volunteer for help, support and to make new friends.

Step 1

The purpose of this role is to match new students (or those that would like support) with current students (Buddy Scheme Volunteer) who provide them with informal support by sharing their experiences and tips, prior to Freshers Week and beyond.

Your role as a Buddy Scheme Volunteer is extremely important; you can really make a difference to another student’s experience at Sussex. By being a good, supportive Buddy, you will have a positive impact on the way a new student experiences Sussex.

COMMITMENTS Complete online training.

Contact your Buddy as soon as you have been assigned.

Commit to contacting or meeting with your Buddy for a minimum of 1 hour a week You follow the Buddy Scheme Volunteers Code of Conduct.

EXPECTATIONS What you can expect from the Buddy Scheme: All Buddy Scheme Volunteers receive ongoing support from the Buddy Scheme Team.

All volunteers will be treated as per our equal opportunities policy.

You are given the opportunity to feedback on your experiences (we will take your comments seriously and will work towards positive change wherever possible).

You are given appropriate training and supervision for your volunteering .

All your personal data is stored in accordance with GDPR. You are kept regularly updated.

MAIN TASKS Contact your Buddies as soon as possible when you are matched and set boundaries around your availability.

Communicate/ or meet with your Buddy/ies for up to an hour a week using your preferred communication channel.

Offer friendly pastoral support and share personal experiences and tips about the University of Sussex and the city of Brighton.

Answer their questions using your own knowledge and experiences.

Signpost to any services they may require such as relevant student support services and local services.

Help Buddies find activities and events they might be interested in.

Respect confidentiality, unless you feel that your Buddy is at risk to themselves or others.

Make regular contact with the Buddy Scheme Team.

WHAT THE BUDDY SCHEME EXPECTS FROM YOU You commit to a minimum of 1 hour a week contact with your Buddies either via online means or in person.

You have read and understood the role responsibilities.

You contact your buddies as soon as possible after you are matched. A template email can be found here. If you have a group of buddies, please email them individually to ask if they would like to meet as a group or one-to-one.

If you would like to meet in person, please choose a public space, preferably on campus!

Before meeting, ask yourself how you felt starting at Sussex and what would have been helpful to know.

Share your knowledge and experiences that may help them settle in.

You continue your support for as long as your buddy needs over the semester.

You inform us if you decide to leave your volunteering, your buddies no longer need support or you’re not getting on.

You will notify us if you have any communication problems with your buddy/ies.

Provide feedback via our surveys.

You inform us of any changes to your details i.e. change of address, contact number etc.

You do not extend the professional boundaries of your voluntary role without guidance.

Maintain a duty of care during your volunteering, advise the appropriate support service if you are concerned.

You follow all regulations and guidelines provided by the Students’ Union e.g. health and safety, confidentiality.

Be aware of different identities and experiences of others.

Use correct pronouns.

WHAT WE DON’T EXPECT FROM YOU: Solve your Buddy’s personal/social problems - if they would like support with personal problems you can direct them to the Student Life Centre on campus.

Put yourself in a situation where you feel uncomfortable - if you find yourself in such a situation, make sure to email the Buddy Scheme Team or come talk to us.

Proofread their work or offer any kind of academic support - if they would like such support direct them to the Academic Advisor or Student Mentors at their department or school.

Be ‘on call’ - we expect you to stay in contact with your Buddy, but you do not have to always be able to respond 25/7.

Offer money, or an uncomfortable amount of time.

GET REWARDED AND RECOGNISED Volunteering with the Buddy Scheme provides you with skills you can use when applying for jobs and further opportunities.

You will qualify for a certificate of achievement and a reference by a member of the Buddy Scheme team.

You can also nominate yourself for the Buddy Scheme Volunteer of the year award at our annual Student Awards Ceremony.

We are really glad that you have chosen to be a Buddy and hope that you enjoy your experience.

Step 2 How the Buddy Scheme works Thank you for completing the Buddy Scheme sign up form. You should have received an email welcoming you to the Buddy Scheme and confirming that you are a Buddy Scheme Volunteer.

We will then make sure to match you with a Buddy, once matching begins on A-Level Results day in August 2021. You will be matched based on the preferences you’ve stated in your application form. These can be your school of study, age, gender, interests etc., and are scanned by our matching software to find you the best match.

MATCHING PREFERENCES The most important part of the Buddy Scheme sign up form is the matching preferences These are the preferences that will be used to choose who your Buddy will be so please pick the 3 preferences that are most important to you and in the order of priority (please note: it may not be possible to match you by your preference but every effort will be made to do so).

Interests School of study Subject of study Year of study Similar age Care experienced Gender Language LGBTQ+ community Living on campus Student parent Student with disabilities Ethnic minorities You can still change your preferences if you would like to, by emailing the buddyscheme@sussexstudent.com with your top three preferences options found in the application form.

MATCHING PREFERENCES Once we’ve found a good match for you, we will send you an email introducing you to your new student/s. Please note that if you have asked to be matched with more than one student (you can have up to 5) you might receive more than one email as and when you are matched.

Make sure to contact your Buddies as soon as you can after receiving the email introducing them to you.

We try our best to match you based on the profile you created, but no promises!

All Buddies are matched based on the information listed in your completed application form. We try our best to match you based on the listed criteria, but we can’t always accommodate everyone’s requests.

Step 3 Communicating and supporting your Buddy Helping your Buddy settle in Arriving as a new student to University can be daunting, particularly if your Buddy is leaving the family home, moving to a busy city like Brighton, or moving country altogether! There are a number of ways that you can help your Buddy settle in, such as being prepared, understanding culture shock and ensuring you actively listen to your Buddy when meeting up.

Making first contact with your Buddy

Once you have received your email with the subject line ‘You have been matched!’, please contact your buddies as soon as possible after this.

It is expected that you will reach out to their Buddies first, as often Buddies can be shy about sending the first email. >> Email template Introduce yourself, exchange contact details (it can be through Facebook, WhatsApp or anything you are both/all comfortable with).

Start getting to know each other.

Your Buddy/Buddies should acknowledge that you are studying and other commitments too! Make it clear when you are available to meet and communicate and when you are not.

How to be an Active Listener

Being a good listener is one of the most important life skills you have; it has a major impact on your interpersonal skills and ability to connect with others and communicate your thoughts and feelings.

Being an active listener means that you make a conscious effort to hear not only the words that another person is saying, but to actively try to understand the complete message they’re trying to get across.

‘Listen with the intent of understanding, rather than listening with the intent of replying’.

Being an active listener is useful not only for you in your role as a Buddy Volunteer, but for life in general, too. Feeling like you are listened to makes you feel valued, seen and appreciated, so try to make sure that your Buddies feel listened to as well. In order to achieve this, you have to pay attention and actively make sure to stay engaged in your conversation without getting distracted. Losing focus on what the other person is saying does not only mean that you stop listening, but also that you stop understanding, too.

Tips for having a Better Conversation Don’t multitask.

More than just setting your device aside – be present. Be in that moment.

Don’t pontificate.

Enter each conversation assuming that you can learn something new.

Use open-ended questions.

Don’t go for easy yes/no responses, ask open questions.

Go with the flow.

Let thoughts come and go. Follow the conversation, not what you thought the conversation would be like. Don’t hold on to questions just because they’re really good questions. Listen, react, and keep moving with the conversation.

If you don’t know, say that you don’t know.

Don’t equate your experience with theirs.

Your experiences are never the same, no matter what the situation.

Try not to repeat yourself.

Repeating yourself sounds condescending and creates boring conversations.

Stay out of the weeds.

People don’t care about the little details - Focus on you, what you like and what you have in common with the person you are speaking to.

Listen.

This is the most important one. So many important, successful people have said it over and over again.

How can you help with culture shock?

Most Buddies in the Buddy Scheme experience Culture Shock when moving to Sussex, albeit to varying degrees. Arriving in a new place you are met with new sights, sounds, smells and tastes, which might be frustrating and disorienting at first.

Small things you take for granted become problems to figure out, such as taking a bus: How do I get a bus ticket?

Can I buy it on the bus, from a shop or kiosk?

Can I pay by card or cash?

Your Buddy will soon learn the new ‘rules’ to get by, but it may be reassuring to let them know that it’s perfectly normal to find it hard at first. Most international students will share this experience - but so will all students who are away from home for the first time.

There are many ways you can help your Buddy to overcome Culture Shock. Make sure to encourage them to get involved in student activities, meet new people and explore their new home, whilst also surrounding themselves with familiar things. Maybe they have a blanket with them from home, or there’s a restaurant in town serving food they’re used to eating at home? The best way to overcome Culture Shock however, is to talk to who will listen uncritically and with understanding.

Understanding Culture Shock ‘Culture Shock’ describes the impact of moving from a familiar culture to one which is unfamiliar, and can be experienced by anyone finding themselves in a new, strange place. It includes the shock of settling into a new environment, meeting lots of new people and learning the ways of the new place they’re settling into.

It also includes the shock of being separated from the important people in your life, such as family, friends or colleagues - people you would normally talk to in times of uncertainty to find support and guidance.

Some of the things that differ between different places and cultures are very obvious at first, such as language and the way people dress. There are, however, other less noticeable differences that still may have the same impact, such as attitudes, customs, expectations and religious beliefs. Learned ideas of what is good, right, desirable and acceptable, as well as what is bad, wrong, undesirable and unacceptable factor in, as well. It might even be things such as personal space, or how to queue!

Step 4 Preparing to meet with your Buddy Prior to going for the meeting, put yourself in their situations and think about how they might be feeling and experiencing.

They could be experiencing a bit of a culture shock, homesickness or loneliness so think about: Try to recall how you first felt when you came to Sussex?

What helped you to settle and what did you enjoy doing?

What do you love about Sussex university about Brighton?

What are some of the activities you could recommend?

Questions you would want to ask them and potential answers to questions they might ask you?

Supporting your Buddy isn’t just about sharing worries and concerns – it’s also about keeping up with the things you enjoy and spending time together as friends.

We asked students for some of their favourite ways to spend time with their friends…

“We meet up for lunch in town or arrange to cook together in the evening.”

“Often going on a walk with my friends helps, we can talk for hours walking around the woods and the setting also serves as a fun thing to do when the weather is nice.”

“Walking, meeting for a cosy tea, watching a movie – anything you enjoy and have in common.”

And remember that even if your Buddy seems hesitant about joining in with social situations, it’s important to keep inviting them along so that they continue to feel included.

Throughout the year the Buddy Scheme will be hosting a series of events (these will be either online or in person depending on the current Government Covid-19 guidelines) to give students on the scheme opportunities to hang out with their matched buddy, meet others on the scheme and try something new, fun and different. When you first make contact with your Buddy, make sure to find out what they’re interested in and which events, trips or activities they would like to get involved in. You can find out more about the affordable and discounted events put on by the Buddy Scheme on our website www.buddyscheme.com.

Beyond the Buddy Scheme, the Students’ Union, societies and university departments put on fun and affordable events throughout the year, too. Some spaces to keep your eye on is Active US, which is a social, non-competitive sports project jointly run by the Students’ Union and Sussex Sport.

PREPARING TO MEET WITH YOUR BUDDY(ONLINE OR IN PERSON)

Prior to going for the meeting, put yourself in their situations and think about how they might be feeling and experiencing.

They could be experiencing a bit of a culture shock, homesickness or loneliness so think about: Try to recall how you first felt when you came to Sussex?

What helped you to settle and what did you enjoy doing?

What do you love about Sussex university about Brighton?

What are some of the activities you could recommend?

Questions you would want to ask them and potential answers to questions they might ask you?

MEETING WITH YOUR BUDDY (IN PERSON OR ONLINE)

IN PERSON If you would like to meet your Buddies in person, we recommend you follow government Covid-19 guidelines and meet in a public place on campus for the first meet. If you have a group of buddies: discuss with them whether they would like to meet in a group individually first and choose a location that suits everyone!

ONLINE If you have both agreed that you would like to chat online, that is absolutely fine, decide on a day and time and platform you will use to communicate. Make it clear when you are available to communicate online and when you are not.

If you are struggling to think of questions to ask your buddy, we have put together these Conversation starters to help you.

It’s your role as a Buddy Volunteer to communicate or meet with your Buddy/ies for 1 hour per week.

Make sure to keep your eye out for fun trips, events, activities and excursions organised by the University and the Students’ Union throughout the year, so that you can recommend them to your Buddy, as well as participate yourself.

BUDDY SCHEME WEBSITE Buddy Scheme Website is continuously updated with useful information about upcoming events and trips, and is a great site to read through when preparing to meet your Buddy. You will find out more www.buddyscheme.com STUDENTS’ UNION WEBSITE Keep an eye on this site to stay updated on all the events put on throughout the year, information on elections and referenda and how to get involved in the Union. You can find it at www.sussexstudent.com LANGUAGE CAFE The Language Café is open to everyone who wants to practice speaking languages in an informal, sociable environment. The Buddy Scheme Team are the Students’ Union staff members for the Language Café and we really encourage you to come along as it’s a great way to meet new people and practice a new language. You can find more information about it here: www.sussexstudent.com/whatson/language-cafe

THINGS YOU COULD DO TOGETHER ONLINE

It’s not always possible to meet your Buddies in person, but that is okay as you can have just as much fun online together. Here are some ideas of things you can do online together: Playing a game together online Studying together to keep each other company Catching up on Zoom over a coffee Go an online fitness class Test each others knowledge with a quiz Host a watch party and watch a film or TV series together Learn a language together - why not go to the Language Cafe?

Meditate together Order takeaway and eat together online Share a skill Take a look at our padlet with fun activities to do in lockdown

Step 5 Safeguarding, Boundaries & Confidentiality Safeguarding is a term used to describe protecting people who may be more at risk of being abused by others. It's about spotting when somebody may be at risk of harm and knowing what to do in that situation. This is hopefully not something that you will ever encounter.

This is not to say that when you're volunteering you should be constantly assuming that your buddy is a victim of abuse – just so that you are aware of what you need to do if you ever encounter it.

Safeguarding If you are worried that your Buddy could be at risk of harm...

Firstly don’t panic.

Instead take the time to establish if your buddy is an imminent risk of harm.

If yes - If they are in imminent risk of harm from an alleged assailant or themselves, your priority is for you (or preferably them) to call the emergency services - 01273 873333 or ext 3333 (on campus) or 999 (off campus).

If no - If they are not at imminent or pressing risk of harm but you are concerned about the safety or wellbeing of someone (even if you are not sure whether or not there is actually a safeguarding concern), and where there is no imminent risk of danger or harm, then you should contact one of the Key Safeguarding Contacts as soon as possible on the Helpline: 01273 977798. They will talk through the situation with you and decide whether or not it is a safeguarding concern and what action, if any, should be taken.

TAKEAWAY MESSAGE - IF YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT THE SAFETY OR WELLBEING OF YOUR BUDDY PLEASE CALL THE KEY SAFEGUARDING CONTACTS HELPLINE: 01273 977798.

Setting boundaries Welcoming new students to Sussex is fun, exciting and rewarding, but sometimes you might experience a situation where you are unsure of what to do next. The team is here to support you to ensure your buddies' experience is the best it could be. If you are ever unsure about what to do, contact the Buddy Scheme team: buddyscheme@sussexstudent.com The boundaries you set with your buddies are the guidelines that clearly set out what is okay and what is not okay in a Buddy relationship. It is important for you, as a Buddy, to establish boundaries with your Buddy/ies.

WHAT DO WE MEAN BY BOUNDARIES? TIME

Time, duration and location of meeting or communicating online Initial meetings should be in a public space whether meeting as a group or one to one. Social media is encouraged once you have a response from your buddies!

You have made a commitment to communicate or meet with your Buddy for 1 hour a week – you need to respect this boundary and your buddy does. If / when you want to meet/communicate for longer go the extra mile, mention that you won't always be able to do this. If If you can’t make an arranged meeting online in person, be courteous and your Buddy know.

MEETING

Activities you do together - make sure you are comfortable with these. Try not limit contact to one activity or social - trying something new is what university is all about and you might even find a new interest yourself! Be aware no one’s university experience is the same, please respect different cultures, backgrounds and pronouns.

Other people present - make sure you and your buddies are happy if other people are joining you for the meeting.

SUPPORTING

You should not undertake a counselling role. Avoid taking personal responsibility and advise the best services and activities to support any problems.

As a trusted person your buddy may disclose something sensitive to you – you should not take responsibility for the disclosure and you should signpost your buddy to the relevant service. If you need any support please contact the buddy team.

Report any safeguarding or health concerns to student services and the Buddy Scheme team.

Buddy relationships are unique in being both personal and professional at the same time, so this relationship has the potential to be confusing.

All the more important, then, that boundaries are established, understood, communicated and maintained – for everyone's sake!

It is also common for the Buddies to want to go the extra mile and bend the rules to do something we feel to be positive for their Buddy. Saying no can be challenging and it helps to be clear about what you can and should do in such situations, this is why having these boundaries in place is so important.

Confidentiality Policy As a Buddy Volunteer you need to follow the Students’ Union Confidentiality Policy and treat any private or personal information your Buddy discloses to you with complete confidentiality, unless you feel it needs to be breached as explained below. The Students’ Union understands confidentiality to mean that no information regarding a volunteer or other individual shall be given directly or indirectly to any organisation or individual external to the Students’ Union, without consent to disclose such information.’

When to breach confidentiality?

The following are occasions when you should breach confidentiality and immediately consult the Buddy Scheme team, who will take the necessary steps: An individual is in immediate danger of harming themselves, or others, An individual is a victim or perpetrator child abuse or neglect, An individual discloses information about planned or actual crime/ terrorism.

Do you need support and advice?

If you feel unsure about whether you should breach confidentiality make sure to contact a member of the Buddy Scheme Team (buddyscheme@sussexstudent.com) not other people.

If you think that the person is at immediate risk of harming themselves or others, then call 999 straight away. You can also contact the emergency out of hours campus security number for students living off-campus, on 02089 383873.

Step 6 Signposting

Sometimes you may be concerned about your Buddies mental wellbeing and want to check in with them but feel out of your depth and unsure of how to start the conversation. As a society, we don’t talk openly about our mental health enough, so it's very normal to feel this way!

STARTING A CONVERSATION We have listed some tips that will help you to create a safe space with your buddies and aid you in starting a conversation Try to be an active listener using the tips above Try asking open questions – this lets the person control the conversation and they are likely to share more with you. ‘How are you getting on?’, ‘How are you feeling?’

Don’t try to solve their problems: If someone tells you they are feeling down, don’t try to solve their problem or give them advice. Focus on how they feel as this is more helpful and shows you care.

‘That must be very hard for you, I’m sorry to hear that’, ‘That must be tough’.

What? How? Where? But not Why? What?

How? Where? Questions are great, but be careful with Why? As this can make people feel defensive. Instead, you can rephrase with ‘how so?’ or ‘In what ways?’

STARTING A CONVERSATION PRACTICAL TIPS FOR SUPPORTING YOUR BUDDY TO ACCESS SUPPORT Find a safe and neutral space to speak, choose somewhere quiet without interruptions.

Use open questions to seek first to understand Do something relaxing. Sometimes it’s easier to talk when the focus isn’t just on the conversation, for example you could go for a walk.

Consider what your boundaries with that person allow you to do Do not try to fix their problems, instead ask open questions so they can explore the options available to them and make the decision to seek professional help.

STUDENTS' UNION SUPPORT SERVICES STUDENTS’ UNION ADVICE

Our Advice team provides support and guidance on University-related issues and housing. And if it’s not an area we cover, then we can point you in the right direction to get the help you need.

STUDENTS' UNION WELLBEING PAGES

It’s really important to look after your wellbeing and mental health. On this page, we have collected a number of links to resources and wellbeing services to support you when you need it: Download a copy [pdf] or flick through the poster for our wellbeing support links.

Please explore the padlet of wellbeing resources.

THE UNIVERSITY’S SUPPORT SERVICES STUDENT LIFE CENTRE The first place for Sussex students to visit (virtually or in person) when you have questions, queries, worries or concerns. It is located at the north end of Bramber House.

Email: studentlifecentre@sussex.ac.uk Call: +44 (0)1273 876767 STUDENT SUPPORT UNIT A team of specialist Disability Advisers and administrators providing confidential information and advice to current and future students on disability-related study support and accessing disability-related funding Email: disabilitysupport@sussex.ac.uk STUDENT HUB The Student Hub on the University’s website contains all the specific information that you might need as a Sussex student - from academic information (timetables, appeals and more) to travel and financial (scholarships, funding etc).

HEALTH AND WELLBEING WEB PAGES These pages contain information about a wide range of wellbeing issues, including the local sources of support for a wide range of issues and concerns.

RESOURCES You've got a friend in me In this zine you can explore how to reach out to friends about your own mental health and their mental health. It is important that we are there for our friends but it is really important to look after ourselves - this zine can help you find the tools and balance.

A Wellbeing Guide to Covid-19, from students, for students The booklet contains a lot of different tips and advice on how you can take care of yourself and your mental health while our lives are being more restricted than normal.

External (and free) support available to students Student Space: Wellbeing resources and 24/7 advice One-to-one support for whatever challenge you’re facing, whether it’s your mental health, your studies, money, housing or relationships, they’re here to support you. They offer, free text, phone, email and chat support.

Take a look at this really helpful interactive guide from Student Minds about how to support your friends through university life - highly recommended! togetherall Togetherall is a 24/7, safe online community for people who are stressed, anxious or feeling low, with self-guided courses and resources (not student specific).

CONTACTS NON-EMERGENCY CONTACTS OFF-CAMPUS Mind (01273 66 69 50) : Mental health support, advice and advocacy in Brighton and Hove Survivors Network (01273 203380) : Support for survivors of sexual violence.

The Samaritans (116 123) : Offer over the phone support for a range of issues.

Sussex Mental Health Helpline (0300 5000 101) : Telephone support from mental health professionals.

Brighton Voices in Exile (01273 328598) : Offers support for asylum seekers, refugees and those with indefinite leave to remain.

RISE: A charity helping women experiencing domestic abuse National Stalking Helpline: Advice and advocacy for people experiencing stalking EMERGENCY CONTACTS OFF-CAMPUS If the person you are concerned about is off-campus and you feel the situation is an emergency, call 999.

If you think that the person is at immediate risk of harming themselves or others, then call 999 straight away. You can also contact the emergency out of hours campus security number for students living off-campus, on 02089 383873.

Mental Health Rapid Response Service (0300 304 0078): Offers rapid assessment service for patients suffering from mental health problems who are at risk and may not be able to keep themselves safe, or are considering attending A+E for help with their mental health. MHRRS is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and health professionals, carers or patients can ring for advice.

LOOKING AFTER YOURSELF TOO

When supporting your Buddy, it’s important that you look after yourself and remember your own priorities. Keep up with your usual interests and hobbies, and make time for your relationships with family and friends.

CONCLUDING POINT Supporting your friend doesn’t need to take over your entire life, and you can offer them the help they need by listening, signposting them to further support if necessary, and maintaining your boundaries.

You’re doing a great thing by looking after your Buddy.