a distant spring

The other day, I flipped open my laptop and started furiously writing. I was full of frustration. I was overwhelmed, anxious, and at my wit’s end. After years of therapy and spiritual direction, I’ve learned better, more productive outlets for my anger. Writing is one of them. Here’s what I wrote:

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: WORKING PARENTS OF PRESCHOOLERS ARE LIVING A SPECIAL KIND OF HELL RIGHT NOW. We are on our fourth quarantine this month due to a possible COVID-19 exposure at my children’s preschool. To return, both children will need a negative COVID test. Only PCR tests are accepted and can only be taken six days after the day of exposure, which is counted as day zero. Wait time for administered PCR tests averaging three days. This is my shout to the world: THE BOTTOM CAN’T HOLD. SEND ME A LIFE RAFT!

It is true. Working parents of preschool aged children are struggling. Fortunately for us, we have family in town that are able and willing to watch our children, but it hasn’t been easy. My schedule as a pastor is impossible to predict, and this last exposure came at the worst possible moment. While I’m accustomed to the unexpected – the inevitable surprises that disrupt a carefully curated week’s schedule – the sudden death of a 28 year-old in our congregation threw my week into chaos. The shock and grief associated with his passing demanded pastoral care for nearly every member of our congregation.

My husband, a financial advisor, had just received news that his largest client was leaving for another firm. Both of us were stretched beyond our limits as it was, and then, of course, we get the dreaded call that makes our stomachs drop. If you’re a working parent of a preschooler, you know the feeling. The caller ID registers on the phone. It’s the school.

Help us, Jesus.

Sure enough. Another exposure. We must get the kids right away. The frustration, despair, anger, outrage, and so on is too much to bear. Our mental health feels on the line. Thank God for wonderful grandparents who can step in, but what about those who don’t have help? For others, the stress is more dangerous. Many have no other option for childcare. Far beyond a schedule disruption is the threat of losing employment and not being able to provide for their families.

There have been articles in the Washington Post, New York Times, and NPR specials all around preschool aged children and their working parents. There’s no solution, but it’s always helpful to feel affirmed and assured that you’re not alone in your special kind of hell.

As I think about spring, new life, new beginnings, I can’t help but feel like the light at the end of the COVID tunnel is just a mirage there to tease us. Just as we get close enough to touch it, it moves further away. Some days I begin to wonder if it’s really there. Is there light? Does this end?

I don’t know what spring feels like for you, but if it’s not blooming daffodils and budding roses, then rest assured, you’re not alone. If it feels more like a slow death, a hopeless tunnel of anguish and despair, a never-ending rainstorm, guess what? You’re still not alone. And maybe that’s the hope this spring. That we aren’t alone.

It’s the truth, too. We are never alone.

One of the things that I try to teach my children the most is that God is always with them. Emmanuel literally translates God with us. When we rise, when we fall, when we despair, when we rejoice – God is with us.

So, this spring, if you’re like me, not quite sure you can find the sun just yet, don’t worry too much. Drink some water, take a nap, find a moment to be kind and tender to yourself. You can do hard things, one day at a time. And you are not alone. God is with you, and in due time, you will rise again. The storm will pass. The old order of things will fall away, and new life will bloom. Thanks be to God.

The 626 Foundation has always been my heart and passion. I truly believe that this work is the culmination of my gifts as an empath and talent as a designer.

The 626 Foundation is a non-profit interior design firm that offers no cost design services to families affected by life's unexpected tragedies. Tragedy can happen to anyone at anytime, but always happens unexpectedly. We rely on generous donations from people like you to make our work possible, as donors fund each project. Families can apply for themselves or become nominated on the website, 626foundation.org. Then, our Board of Directors votes on the project based on resources available to us at the time and the need of each applicant.

McKinney

Our project in McKinney, Texas helped a family find refuge after escaping a dangerous situation

Though I hope that you have not experienced hardships in your own life, I am sure that you have. Far too many people have had sickness, death, addiction, miscariage, divorce or natural disaster ravage through their family and home. When that happens, I’ve always believed that a house can often feel more like a prison than a sanctuary. When it does, Pinterest and Instagram are painful reminders of dreams that seem so far out of reach. However, people do not long solely for freshly painted walls and perfectly curated furniture. It is the feeling of home and wholeness that people truly desire. 21

The 626 Foundation began in late 2018. Since then, we have completed three full scale projects to help families find joy in their spaces. The Covid-19 pandemic put the biggest wrench in our plans as we were unable to enter homes to provide our services. This was most unfortunate because the pandemic forced people into the very spaces that they may have been desperate to escape, an impossible situation for some. The tolls on mental health remain unaddressed and people are in need of resources. The 626 Foundation can help! It is with great excitement that we relaunch the 626 Foundation and pledge our commitment to meeting the needs of as many families as we can, one at a time.

Euless

In Euless, Texas we helped a young mom of two find a feeling of “home" in a space that felt temporary and sterile

That’s our goal; that’s our heart. To help each family have more means and optimism about the future; and in turn, allow members to focus on cultivating love, support and healing for themselves and their family.

to support our mission at 626, visit 626foundation.org