Beyond The Silence - Issue 1 - Autumn 2023

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A society where NO male survivor is le� behind

BEYOND THE

SILENCE

A very warm and safe welcome to WE ARE SURVIVORS. Our mission at We Are Suvivors is to break the silence of the sexual abuse, rape and sexual exploita�on of boys and men and support them and their loved ones to engage in posi�ve healing, free from the impact of abuse. Breaking the silence is at the heart of everything we do. You’ll see us use those words a lot. It’s why we’ve decided to launch this newsle�er, ‘Beyond The Silence’. Each quarter we’ll

be sharing the impact of our work, le�ng you know how you can support us, and crucially, celebra�ng the achievements of the men and boys we support. Everyone at We Are Survivors - staff, volunteers, and service users - have a great deal to be proud of. We’d love to know what you think of this first edi�on, and what you’d like to see us cover in future. All of our contact details are on the back page.

ISSUE ONE Autumn 2023

INSIDE THIS ISSUE How you can support us

FUNDRAISING Page 2 It costs around £30,000 per week to run We Are Survivors and ensure we are here, whenever survivors are ready, to support them in their healing. Find out how you can support our work.

Part of the community

COMMUNITY Page 7 From Drop In spaces and ‘The Safe Room’ peer support mee�ngs, to amazing crea�ve wri�ng and art workshops, We Are Survivors offers vital survivorled ac��vies every single week.

wearesurvivors.org.uk


FOCUS ON FUNDRAISING

SCAN HERE to make a dona�on

ALEX MAYER

Income Genera�on and Fundraising Consultant Alex Mayer, our Income Genera�on & Fundraising Consultant has some brilliant ideas for anyone to get involved in raising funds and posi�vely impac�ng the lives of male sexual violence survivors. Everyone can be a fundraiser for We Are Survivors. Somehow, fundraising s�ll conjures up images of sponsored runs, bake sales and chucking a few quid in a bucket (all of which are brilliant, and hugely appreciated!) but there are infinite ways of raising money - from tried and tested challenges to unique ventures. One of the most exci�ng parts of my role is speaking to people with brilliant fundraising ideas that somehow translate personal passions, hobbies and connec�ons into extraordinary financial support for We Are Survivors. We have received dona�ons from a charity club night, a stand-up comedy gig, a sponsored climb up Mount Kilimanjaro, the Manchester 10k and proceeds from the publica�on of a book to name a few. So whatever your idea, we cannot wait to hear about it, and support you every step of the way. And please don’t forget that there are many other ways to support We Are Survivors and help us #breakthesilence on male sexual abuse – perhaps you know a company looking for a Charity of the Year or you simply wish to make a personal dona�on. Whatever it is, we are so grateful that you are thinking of us and helping to change the lives of male survivors. Please do get in touch via fundraising@wearesurvivors.org.uk and we will provide whatever advice and support we can.

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Actor, Aidan O’Callaghan Greater Manchester 10k - 2023

HELP US MAKE A DIFFERENCE It costs approximately £30,000 per week to run We Are Survivors and ensure we are here, whenever survivors are ready, to support them in their healing. Last year, We Are Survivors provided 3,418 therapy sessions, more than 200 community ac�vi�es and 3482 ISVA ac�vi�es suppor�ng male survivors going through the criminal jus�ce system. Research suggests that 1 in 6 men are survivors of sexual abuse - equivalent to 235,500 men across Greater Manchester. But how might you be able to make a difference? Whether you’re a seasoned fundraiser or a first �mer, joining the many vibrant efforts of those fundraising for charity can be uniquely rewarding on many levels. Every step you take, every effort you make, and every penny you raise contribute to transforming the lives of

men and boys who deserve to thrive! Did you know fundraising for ‘We Are Survivors’ isn’t just important; it’s also exhilara�ng, brings community together, and fuels transforma�ve posi�vity and growth for male survivors and those who fundraise too? Well, it’s true and we’d like to tell you why taking a first step to ge�ng involved, might just be far simpler than you imagine. Check out Alex’s advice on the le�. Please do get in touch via fundraising@wearesurvivors.org.uk and we will provide whatever advice and support we can.

COMING SOON!

We’ll be launching our fundraising pack very soon! Keep an eye on our website and socials.


WELCOME MESSAGES

MATURING AND TRANSFORMING Welcome to the first ever edi�on of Beyond the Silence, We Are Survivors brand new quarterly newsle�er. For those of you that have followed us for a few years, then you’ll know that in April 2023 we went through a transforma�on that took us from being Survivors Manchester to We Are Survivors. The name change has been a long �me coming and for many years people commented on how our name never reflected how far our reach is or what we do. So a�er many conversa�ons with many different people, we hit on the simplest yet incredibly profound name… We Are Survivors, a�er all we ARE survivors! Our new name brought a re-energised organisa�on and team ready to take on the challenges of the incoming years. We reviewed our Mission, �ded up our organisa�onal values to be clearer and extracted a statement from a comment that

is now our new vision – a society where NO male survivor is le� behind - and we do all of this at the �me when we’re ge�ng into our mid-late teens, our boy is nearly 16! Like every teenager, We Are Survivors hasn’t had the easiest of growing up but there is no doubt in my mind that this incredible organisa�on that I am so proud to be the current guardian of is maturing into a fine young man. I hope over the next few years you will s�ck with us and see us grow even more. I am confident that you will see a whole range of new and exci�ng ac�vi�es that male survivors in Greater Manchester and beyond can get involved with to make connec�ons with others and drive their own healing journey. Our therapy service will grow outwards, and we will begin to open up safe spaces in other Greater Manchester neighbourhoods; whilst our Independent Sexual Violence

Advisor service will con�nue to adapt to the changing landscape within the criminal jus�ce system and ensure that everyone involved in it has their voice heard! And our OUT Spoken Prison service will con�nue to deliver our ground breaking offer to survivors in the secure estate. When we say NO male survivor le� behind, we really mean it! But I want to make sure that we always hear your voice, and we do everything we can to help you hear the voices of male survivors. So please do follow us on social media; send us your comments or cri�cisms; tell us what you want to see us do, especially if your needs as a male survivor or the loved one of a male survivor are not being met. This has always been YOUR organisa�on and it needs to stay that way.

DUNCAN CRAIG OBE

Chief Execu�ve Officer & Founder

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FOCUS ON OUR EXPERTS

GARY DAVIES

Community Development Co-ordinator

Talking about healing with the ERG? Hold on, what exactly is an ERG and why has it been so important for men’s journeys here at We Are Survivors? Well, we’d love to tell you! In fact, we know the best persons to explain are those who have volunteered their �me to cri�cally shape the way our service works. We’re very pleased to Introduce Gary, a Community Development Worker for the men who access our support and founding co-Chair of our Expert Reference Group (or ERG) I’m Gary, and I was a client who engaged with We Are Survivors OUT Spoken service. During my survivorship journey I found myself becoming highly focused on how others had been impacted by trauma. Learning about the experiences of others and becoming more socially engaged helped to widen my eyes to the importance of being vocal, crea�ng change

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DRIVEN TO DO MORE and challenging injus�ces. My focus was always on my fellow survivors, but I also tried to understand how others have used their voices so intern, we can bring shared understanding to what it is to be a survivor. The perfect next step for me was the ERG, a group of service users striving to bring their experiences and voices to push survivor awareness, create discussion and ul�mately try to make things be�er for every survivor. Each ERG member brings something unique in their experience and journey to the group, in our aim to represent as many of the survivors we have out there. The ERG meet every two months to discuss an agenda set out and formalised beforehand, and also at ad-hoc events to put survivor voices at the forefront of debate. Members of the organisa�ons’s Exectu�ve Team are invited to mee�ngs so that appropriate discussions can be had, and important ques�ons raised. During my �me with the ERG, I found myself becoming driven to do more, which

is why when the opportunity to work at We Are Survivors came up I went for it. I s�ll work closely with the ERG, being a bridge between them and the team here. They always will be an important part of my journey and I enjoy working closely with the ERG members. My aim is to keep pushing for more survivor driven opportuni�es within the service, helping the men find more ways to discover their voices and ensuring we keep survivors in any conversa�on the organisa�on has. Within our service, the ERG is highly valued, it’s an important ‘Cri�cal Friend’ group that maintain our focus on the survivors we help every day. The support the group members offer each other to become more confident in owning their survivorship was one of the reasons I was able to grow into this role, and their journeys are all so inspiring to be part of. Keep up the brilliant work Gary!


The RASSO roundup; your professional quarterly overview of Greater Manchester’s rape and serious sexual offences support sector, at a glance!

RASSO ROUNDUP

UPLIFTING SURVIVORS For anyone of us out there engaged in professional prac�ce on the ground, the last twelve months might be thought of as a year in which sexual abuses and genderbased violence have emerged into an intensely focussed na�onal spotlight. Some difficult discussions are a-foot and while everyday people who by way of their lived experiences, have been in a posi�on to understand the impact of sexual violence, there are others s�ll for whom a bigger picture has alluded their own understanding. In an age where many hear the zap of a tweet bellow louder than the blare of a foghorn, few might argue we live in a poli�cal landscape absent of growing division. If increasingly regular exposure of our na�onal ins�tu�ons and the reported, poten�al systemic protec�ons of abusive cultures within them are a litmus test of any kind, surely it is demonstra�ng an impera�ve need to listen and respond to survivors. A�er all, increasingly as a society, we understand the constant ask of those at risk to adapt themselves around the behaviours of those who perpetrate abuse is flawed thinking at its most basic level. Outside of our personal lives and in our professional capaci�es, we have long

understood the abuse of power afforded by posi�on and its direct effect on the experiences of sexual violence survivors. Greater Manchester has been suppor�ng vic�ms for many years, in fact, 2023 will mark the 45th anniversary of Greater Manchester Rape Crisis who are celebra�ng with the commission of several ‘vigne�e’, theatre performances at Contact Theatre that centre the stories of truly inspira�onal women. There are so many of us across our sector working to be�er the lives of survivors, I would be unable in truth to list us all here, however it is also a truth that all of us, working directly to support cri�cally vulnerable people are truly inspira�onal in our own right! The VCSE sector has not stood s�ll. Collec�vely we responded with immense gra�tude for a �reless ethic to improve vic�ms lives as was evident throughout Dame Vera Baird’s office as Vic�m’s Commissioner. We’re delighted that Dame Vera is currently here in Manchester engaged in an independent review of women in custody for the Mayors office Elsewhere in a fantas�c leap forward, the sexual violence sector is geared to see community based witness suites rolled out within specific VCSE loca�ons and away from police infrastructures which while

MICHAEL ROBERTS

GM RASSO Communica�ons & Engagement Co-Ordinator vital, have o�en been in�mida�ng spaces for trauma�sed vic�ms to occupy. We have been moving for change, and we know accountability is key. Not least within the legisla�ve advance of the Vic�m’s Code, we are all striving to be more accountable than ever. This ques�on of accountability, as rela�ng to sexual violence has set a ball rolling that we all steer on a course to address imbalance where it appears. Following an end-to-end rape review in 2021, opera�on Soteria Bluestone takes aim to overhaul how policing inves�gates rape and other sexual offences. Where inquiry might have centred firmly on vic�m credibility and in some cases even outright myth, we now call for a much greater inves�ga�ve focus on those who offend. Simply put, any mentality that ques�ons what a vic�m was wearing and other age-old misdirec�on’s ahead of ‘how was this consent’, will regularly fail vic�ms. Let us con�nue to succeed and upli� survivors everywhere.

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SURVIVOR CREATIVITY

The journey from trauma to triumph has never been a straight line, but for male survivors in Greater Manchester, there’s a unique place to embrace crea�vity and discover a remarkable path forward. We’ll be talking about our Community Development Team in lots of detail further along in ‘Beyond The Silence’, but we have to be honest, we just couldn’t wait to showcase the amazing work our lads have developed while accessing the support of WE ARE SURVIVORS.

HEALING THROUGH CREATIVITY Male sexual assault survivors unleash ar�s�c brilliance on the world!

Here’s what two fantas�c crea�ve wri�ng coaches had to say: “This will always be one of the best things we have ever done, We are so proud to support such beautiful writing.” Cathy Crabb ROPE LADDER FICTION “Working on these audio dramas with We Are Survivors has been a privilege that has led to four emotive and well-written pieces of storytelling.” Joseph Morris ROPE LADDER FICTION Sounds like a win to us! 6

Through visual mediums, wri�ng and more, men across Greater Manchester have been channelling their emo�ons, memories, and struggles into accomplished, expressive works reflec�ve of their personal journeys. We’re super proud to be involved in such remarkable healing and all within just one element of the comprehensive services on offer at the largest UK charity for male sexual violence survivors. Did we just hear you on the radio? Well, it’s en�rely possible you will! Some �me ago, service users at We Are Survivors joined forces with Reform Radio and Rope Ladder Fic�on to gain expert guidance and build on the superb crea�ve wri�ng program already on offer to our service users. In no small part, due to the efforts of our

Community Development Co-Ordinator; Jeff who has extensively championed the therapeu�c value of crea�vity, our service has connected men with qualified coaching from industry professionals in a survivor takeover of Reform Radio and the commission of several excellent plays for radio broadcast! The sessions these men a�ended with writers Cathy Crabb and Joseph Morris of Rope Ladder Fic�on have springboarded those engaged in our crea�ve wri�ng workshops into real life wri�ng commissions! The feedback has been sensa�onal, and the drama�zed plays, having now been developed have gone on to be fully sound engineered, radio produc�ons narrated by the gi�ed and excep�onal actor: Neil Bell. Why not follow our social media and be the first to hear these insigh�ul plays go live? We’ll certainly be sharing links as soon our lads work is broadcast!


“Abuse happens in isola�on, whereas healing happens in communi�es” MIKE LEW

FOCUS ON SERVICES

IT'S ALL ABOUT PEOPLE! THAT’S RIGHT! At the heart of ‘We Are Survivors’ lies an excep�onal commitment to men and boys, fostering thriving communi�es through our remarkable array of community development opportuni�es. While men can expect the very best trauma informed therapy, support from our team of dedicated counsellors and crucial assistance from knowledgeable independent sexual violence advisors, they can also access an extensive range of opportuni�es to connect with peer support in safe community se�ngs. More than anyone, chari�es who upli� male survivors of rape, sexual abuse and exploita�on, understand the unique barriers and the incredible pressures men and boys face to maintain silence about their experiences. The truth is that there is no shame in taking your �me, but making that first step can feel like an

overwhelming challenge. We created ‘Step Into Support’, an ini�a�ve where men newly engaging with our service can meet a member of our friendly Community Development Team in or outside of our comfortable surroundings and be supported, oneon-one to explore the healing that’s possible with us… And there certainly is a lot on offer! From Drop In spaces and ‘Safe Room’ peer support mee�ngs, to amazing crea�ve wri�ng and art workshops facilitated by renowned arts prac��oners and crea�ves, our service users can enjoy health walks, coffee and cake, trips to the RHS Bridgewater in Salford where wemanage a community vegetable plot as well as many, many ac�vi�es in between. It’s clear that our community offer has been life changing, you need only ask the men who par�cipate.

Anytime you are with a fellow survivor it's a very powerful experience. A survivor, for the longest time suffered on their own, their experiences they kept to themselves. When you share what you have been through, openly and honestly with no shame, it's very powerful.

GAYNA WILLIAMS

SSVA & Advocacy Service Manager So, what is community development really all about? We spoke to Gayna to discover how, from her own perspec�ve as the Service Manager, the team help build communi�es. Our community services offer the opportunity for survivors to connect with their peers in a safe space. Allowing some opportunity to experience new ac�vi�es at or away from our centre, either in a group or 1-1 to build confidence and familiarity prior to engaging fully with the service. Our clients can o�en feel alone on their healing journey, engaging with our group and community support also means survivors are less isolated, able to connect with peers, gain confidence, share experiences and build rela�onships. It’s an absolute pleasure to see service users together, the support and understanding they offer one another is invaluable. Its heartwarming to know the welcome a new client gets when coming into a group for the 1st �me. Without our community offer there would definitely be more survivors out there feeling alone. Thank you, Gayna, we think you hit the nail on the head!

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HOW DO I FIND YOU? We Are Survivors offer support and healing to men affected by sexual violence across Greater Manchester. You can find us online at www.wearesurvivors.org.uk or call us on 0161 236 2182 In the event of an emergency and for anyone in immediate danger call 999. For anyone affected by rape, sexual assault or sexual exploita�on, a 24/7 support line is available in the UK on 0808 500 2222 #NoMaleSurvivorLe�Behind #BreakTheSilence

Healing happens in community, and we will be wai�ng to support you no ma�er how long it might take to make that first step.

MAIN OFFICE Unit 9 Brewery Yard, Deva City Office Park, Trinity Way, Salford, M3 7BB Office: 0161 236 2182 E-mail: support@wearesurvivors.org.uk 24/7 Rape & Sexual Abuse Helpline: 0808 500 2222 We Are Survivors is a Company Ltd by Guarantee (06811096) Registered Charity in England & Wales (1144941)

@ThisIsSurvivors

wearesurvivors.org.uk


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