Love in the time of heteronormative bullshit RUBY ROSENTHAL
1. Surgically remove her feminism for this Thursday night. 2. Princess Diaries-it and take off her glasses, shake her hair out, and iron it flat. Pluck her unibrow, wax her pussy, shave her legs, her toes, and her hands, tweeze her chin hair until it bleeds. 3. Ecstasize her cheeks with your lips, drown yourself in a wishing well and stay there. 4. 3-D print her heart, place it in your hands, and remind yourself how that feels, over and over again. 5. Strategize a collusion of chaos, find yourself at Chick-fil-A on Sunday, and, this one’s important, give her that look no girl thinks actually exists. 6. Unzip her epidermis--remember--funny business is always appropriate. 7. Perform an Olympic-gold-winning figure eight around The Talk--don’t be weird about it. 8. Act like a politician. Blindfold your disdain and bathe in a pool of her pity. Appear platonic publicly. 9. Repeat.
[ 16 ]
