David Baillie in the Spotlight for Picture Perfect Primaries

David Baillie hogs the spotlight for “Picture Perfect” Primaries PSFC were well rested and at full strength for the match against WHEC at a sunny Gracemount with Petrie, Gilhooley and new boy Richard Stimpson coming into the fold.

French was reinstalled in midfield after some unpleasantness during the same fixture last year.

Flash The omen’s were looking good for Primaries from the off as they won the toss (makes a nice change from arguing the toss ­Ed) and the game settled down to into a steady rhythm of possession football for the Rossoblù (oooooh! ­ Ed). However it took until the quarter hour before Primaries’ game of “keep ball” turned into a concerted period of pressure. A floated French corner (basically a sexier version of a normal corner) was half cleared by the WHEC defense only to fall to Baillie who produced a flash of brilliance and chipped a cultured effort into the top corner. It was a Riordan­esque piece of magic from Baillie that delighted onlooker French. 1­0 Primaries!

Nikon The game had only just restarted when WHEC were picking the ball out the onion bag for a second time and again it was Baillie at the forefront. A long Dimeck shy from the left was given a Nikon by Hartson impersonator Sullivan and Baillie stole in at the back stick to double his and Primaries tally. 2­0 Primaries!

Developed Primaries had their tails up (cheeky!) and the game had developed into a one sided affair.

A long range Sullivan effort stung the palms of the WHEC ‘keeper but it wasn’t long before PSFC struck gold for the third time. “New Fish” Stimpson showed he was anything but yellow when he latched onto a bungled clearance and volleyed low into the corner from the edge of the box. 3­0 Primaries!

Focus With Primaries now on Easy Street (not far from Difficult Terrace), the party pieces could now start to come out, however, McCann was dismayed to learn that this didn’t involve ham sarnies, Coke and crisps. What it did involve was a stunning dead ball effort from Dimeck who beat the wall only to see the ball crash off the outside of the post!

Wester Hailes were suddenly sparked into life and they immediately benefited from PSFC’s lack of focus to head home from a corner. 3­1 Halftime!

Blur After some personnel changes at the interval, Primaries once again roared forward looking for the goal that would put them out of sight. With Petrie using his erratic running to bamboozle the WHEC defense, a fourth goal was always on the cards and it was Jamieson who finally came up trumps (Puntastic! – Ed). The slightly built centre forward picked up a loose ball 12 yards out and lashed a glorious strike into the top corner with the ball just a blur. 4­1 Primaries!

Frame Incredibly, the three goal margin was pegged back to two from the kick off as Wester Hailes stout midfield ace signaled his intentions to shoot from the centre spot.

Unfortunately, replacement goalie Forrest was distracted by a Cathay Pacific Boeing 737 and the outrageous effort sailed into the net off the frame while the senior stopper scribbled in his notebook. 4­2 Primaries!

Blow up Normal service was resumed minutes later as Primaries went nap (rather than went for a nap). The Wester Hailes back line had been honkin’ all afternoon and the game was done and dusted after another defensive blow up. Hunter bombed a long throw into the box which was missed and by everyone except the WHEC centre half who nodded the ball into his own net. Job done. 5­2 Primaries!

Snapped With the result beyond doubt it seemed as though the game would simply fizzle out until the final whistle, but with French and Hunter in the team regular viewers will know that controversy can be pulled out the locker and into the mixer at any moment. It all started after McCann’s first real involvement in the game. Clearly still upset at the lack of Picnic provisions, the rust haired jack in the box launched into a lusty challenge from behind which left the Wester Hailes midfielder prone on the turf. This sparked a furious reaction from French which was surprising after he promised to be on his best behaviour.

“Van Damme” was finally persuaded to don the Referee vestments in an attempt to placate the tempestuous middle man, but he had all but snapped and signed off with a barbed “Shut up, you snobby pr*ck!!” (Snobby? Wester Hailes? – Ed) Canon

Sullivan showed he had more in his canon than just a burly striker when he seamlessly slotted in at Centre Half for the remainder of the game. His legendary calming influence was again brought to bear after another flashpoint ripped through this pulsating encounter.

Hunter was still fragile after a testing week sorting out charity match infighting when he was flattened by a seemingly innocuous challenge in the air. After rolling about in throes of frustration at a lack of concern from team­mates, his years of watching Steven Seagal movies got the better of him as he gamely sprang up for “a Pagger”. Onlooker Wilson’s faced was one of horror (the same expression shown when asked to wash the strips) before Sullivan doused the situation with soothing words of encouragement.

After an enthralling 70 minutes, the Referee finally blew the whistle to send Primaries away with another deserved win. 5­2 Fulltime.

Man of the Match:­ There was only one contender for the big cup this afternoon. Step forward David Baillie for an all action performance!