THEWEDDINGGUEST
A Photo Essay By Suite20Seven
Where do I begin trying to describe my experience to you? Do I begin with thanking the ‘Giri’ family for taking me into their home during the most special of celebrations, allowing me to exist quietly at one end of the dinner table and in the room where everyone's laundry is folded or do I personally thank my friend Roshan who invited me on this adventure in the first place? I think I’ll thank them collectively because without their kind nature and generosity none of this would have been possible Thank you!
Now to say that my time in Nepal got off to a shaky start would be the understatement of the century Beginning my trip from Sydney on the red eye flight to Malaysia, arriving in KL at 3am in the morning and essentially kicking rocks around the airport for 5 hours until I waited for my selfconnecting flight proved to have me sweaty and angry from the outset. *Sidenote for all you keen travellers out there, booking flights where you organise your own connecting flights can be stressful, but it can also save you an absolute fortune in the long run. This is what I was doing here Flights from Sydney to Kathmandu you’re looking at close to $1,300, whereas my red eye, self connecting flights with no baggage set me back just under $800 Fueled up on a 5am Nasi Lemak and 25 minute power nap on the floor (It would have been longer if the security in the airport hadn’t assumed I was homeless and had woken me up) I was ready for the 2nd flight of this stretch. I was ready for Kathmandu.
Flying into Kathmandu international airport and seeing the Himalayas out the right hand side of the plane was surreal. But as soon as those plane wheels touched down I was on a mission I had to scurry through customs to find my way to the domestic terminal and check in for my ticket on a flight that was leaving in 2 hours I had been warned by friend Roshan that things in Nepal ran a little bit differently to what I was use to in Australia and the two hour window I had left was really not enough time, to make it through customs, get into the domestic airport and onto my 3rd and final plane of this hellacious travel day.
With only carry-on baggage in tow I was determined, I was making this flight through hell or high water. When the plane landed I blitzed through the swarms of people and made my way to the start of the foreigner passport line I was making fantastic time already I got to the passport checking window within 10 minutes of touching down I was making incredible time and I was very happy with myself “Visa please” the Nepalese passport officer asked. I reached into the pocket of my pants and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper which had the Nepalese Visa I had purchased online before arriving printed on it. "What is this?” he asked, “My visa” I stated. He then pointed to a different window in the passport hall where all foreigners had to purchase a secondary arrival visa. To this day I’m convinced I was getting ‘White People Taxed’ But this man was not letting me through without this piece of paper and by now all the other foreigners who were on that flight with me from Malaysia had begun lining up in the immigration line
Annoyed but not defeated I stomped my feet over to the other visa window and asked to purchase this secondary ‘White People Visa’ Obviously, I didn’t use these words, but I was ready to jump over the counter when no one would serve me You may be reading this and thinking gee you sound like an angry young man, I can assure that I’m not I was just a little on edge, because I had a tight connection and I need everything to go right Now I can state that although I was a little hot under the collar, I was not about to push my way to the front of the line I left the line, so now the right thing to do is stand at the back of the line If you think otherwise you’re wrong and I will happily headbutt you if you try and push your way past me There I was standing at the back of line 25 minutes of my 2 hour connection window had elapsed and I was starting to feel the pressure Thankfully the line began to filter through nicely and I was back at the same ticket window I was at 15 minutes earlier.
One thing I absolutely love about traveling is when the passport officer inks up his stamp and slams it down in your passport. An incredibly satisfying experience for me on all occasions and this was no exception I was officially into Nepal with just over an hour until my flight was scheduled to take off Now I just had to find my way from the international terminal to the domestic terminal This should be easy enough I thought to myself as I was breaking into that weird shuffle run you do when you’re trying to run with a heavy backpack on your back I blitzed by the people selling mobile phone sims, as I was running out of time and I assumed that I would just be able to do it once I got into the domestic terminal I could see the street and I was about to experience my first taste of unfiltered Nepali air.
I burst through the front doors of the airport out onto the street and to say I was swarmed on by taxi and motorbike drivers would be underselling it Vwooosh, like someone had turned a vacuum cleaner, they all sucked their way to me and I was surrounded. “Sir, Sir! Where do you need to go?”
“Sir, where are you from?” “Sir, Sir” I managed to get out “I need to go to the domestic airport” “Come with me Sir, I show you temples, we spend the whole day together sir” “Sir, sir” I was getting overwhelmed, but I managed to get myself some breathing room to think.
Okay, maybe if I step a little further away from the entrance of the airport, I can speak to someone, that’s not going to rip me off. Out I wandered into the streets of Kathmandu, desperately looking for someone with a friendly face “Sir, Sir”, oh god it’s starting again. “I’m ok” I mutter as I break into a slow run again I have no idea where I’m going, but I’m just trying to make it away from the hoards of people. I make my way up the stairs and finally find my way to what looks like a soldier with a large gun across his chest “Domestic airport” I say as I point my hands in opposite directions. He looks bemused and proceeds to say something in Nepali and points behind me “Red building, red building” “Okay, okay, okay” as I start up my awkward shuffle run again. “Thank you” I say,
surely knowing that he doesn’t understand what I've just said On the 400 meter walk from where I was standing to the doors of the domestic terminal, I was approached by 7 taxi drivers trying to convince me to come the other way with them In my head I am determined
A fun fact about flying on the cheap in Nepal is that you get to experience budget airlines and Nepalese budget airlines have not yet grasped the process of online check-in or an e-ticket You need to physically go to the ticket counter with a printed off version of your email and then they will print your tickets off for you at the desk. But, this adds to extra anxiety, because you don’t get your actual ticket until at least 1 hour from take off
I made it to the entrance doors of Kathmandu domestic airport and I saw a ticket counter with the Yeti Airlines branding on it. A big sigh exhales itself from deep in my diaphragm I feel my blood pressure begin to ease back down I’ve made it I’ve made it to Kathmandu domestic airport. Now I just need to get my ticket and I’m set. For those of you that have not been to Kathmandu domestic airport, let me do my best to describe it to you
Imagine an old country town's football change rooms, a rickety old tin shed with small ticket windows, where you need to lean in really close, so that the ticket clerk can hear you. Hardly something you expect from a capital city's major domestic airport I make my way up to the ticket window and press my printed out email up to the glass, gesturing at it with my other finger. The lady on the other side of her glass shakes her head and points towards the security checkpoint, I gather that she wants me to through security and further into the building I nod and make my way through the security checkpoint
I was now on the inside of the building, similarly to the outside I was getting a country town in Australia vibes. I half expected to see livestock in some corner of the building, being brushed by proud local farmers preparing them for the regional livestock fashion parade
I glanced down at my watch and realised I was on time Feeling very proud that I had navigated my way this far, I joined the Yeti Airlines line with my chest puffed out and full of confidence. Whilst I was waiting in line, I did notice that there seemed to be a lot of chaos going on around me 100’s of people sitting on the floor and anxiously talking in some language that I was yet to understand When I got to the front of the line the lady said “English?”, I nodded and she pointed at the lady sitting two people to her left “English, English” she said I happily nodded and made my way over “Hello, sir. Where are you headed today?” For the second time in 10 minutes I reached in my pocket for my printed out email “Bhadrapur” I said “Ohhhh sir, long delays she said” I sighed and said “ok” as I stood there waiting for, to at least hand me my ticket We both stood there looking at each other “Can I please have my ticket?” I asked “Sorry sir. You have to wait until the name of your destination city is hung on that hook over there” I looked at her puzzled, but nodded as I slowly backed away from the ticket counter. Wow, this is so old school I thought to myself as I proceeded to sit down on the floor next to all other people, I assumed we’re also waiting for a flight
I figured I might be here a while so maybe I could have a look around and grab some food I hadn’t eaten since my 5am Nasi Lemak in Malaysia and I was starting to get peckish I scanned the room from my seated position and could not see anything but people sitting on the floor, in this massive tin shed. Weird, I thought to myself. Maybe I’ll walk around and find something After 5 minutes of walking around every corner of this room. I realised there was nothing in here other than ticket counters for each of the respective airlines Weird! Maybe I’ll leave the airport and come back. Hmmm there doesn’t appear to be an exit either It feels like I’ve entered the funnel and there's no going back until I’ve boarded a plane And plus, if I were to somehow get back outside, I felt I would be swarmed on again by all those people and I was not ready to deal with that Realistically I hadn’t slept properly in going close to 40 hours now. So I was testy. I thought to
myself, just lay here on the floor with everyone else and just keep one eye open looking at the Yeti Airlines ticket desk.
Seconds passed, then minutes, then hours Still, I sat there on the floor waiting for the Bhadrapur wooden sign to be hung from the hooks above the airline desk My heart would flutter every time I saw the airline staff move out of their chairs But, three hours later I was still sitting there, waiting. I had no idea what I was going to do, until finally, the Bhadrapur sign was hanging freely Excitement coursed through me as I shot up off the floor and raced over to the ticket counter. During my short time in Nepal I had learnt that it was first in first served and I wasn’t about to spend another 3 hours on the floor of this tin shed. I got to the front of the line mere moments after the sign was hung and before I knew it, I had my plane ticket in my hands. I was finally about to leave this room and board a plane to my final destination
The sea of people poured from the big room into a much smaller room, which appeared to be security checkpoints, small rooms no bigger than a phone booth with a curtain that remained closed until it was your turn to walk through. As I neared the curtain my heart began to race again, as I was certain that on the other side of the curtain, there was going to be a person demanding another round of the ‘White Man Tax’ from me My fears proved not to be true as I was actually greeted by a friendly little Nepalese man, who just wanted to see and stamp my ticket.
Here I go, ready to board my flight to Bhadrapur, this was until I was greeted with another room, teaming with people How deflating, I still was not out of this maze of an airport, but at least I was able to see through the runways from here. I was close, but my stomach growled with an aggressive hunger, as I was going on close to 12 hours, having not eaten. But, lucky for me, in this section of the airport I could see a little shop, with a sign that stated ‘Momos मम ” I was about to make my first of 40 momo stops on this trip
A momo is essentially a Nepalese dumpling The two option at this shop were ‘Chicken’ and ‘Buff’, which for the few days of my trip I assume was beef spelt wrong, but I later found out that ‘Buff’ is actually water buffalo and I ate kilos of it, cooked in every conceivable way
With momo’s in hand, I walked over to gate 3 and parked myself on the floor and aggressively shovelled these delicious bundles of joy into my mouth The hungry pains in my stomach quickly subsided and I was mellow once again Shortly after finishing my momo's, an argument broke out at gate 3. 20 men had surrounded the ticket desk and were yelling and slamming their hands down on the table I understood nothing of what was being said, but I could understand the tone. Clearly none of these men had a belly full of momo’s like me, because I was in utter bliss, although I had been in the domestic airport going on close to 6 hours at this point with no end in sight My head slowly fell back as I leaned against the wall and let out an almighty sigh. I was starting to think that I wasn’t going to make it out of Kathmandu and the wedding I had travelled 30 hours to be at was going to happen before I could get there and experience it. I lifted myself up off the floor and began to wander around the other gates at the airport Looking for someone I thought might understand English. Bhadrapur? I would ask, whilst pointing at my ticket People would just shake their heads and I would continue on my way, until finally someone said “Yes, me too”. I was taken aback, some actually understood what I was asking, amazing “Do you know what’s going on?” I asked ‘Bad weather” they replied “We may not get to fly tonight”, “Very common in Nepal” Dejected I nodded “thank you” I said and at that very moment, out of the corner of my eye, there it was. ‘Bhadrapur flight now boarding’. I jumped with excitement and raced over to the ticket desk Just as well as I did, because a tsunami of people careened towards the narrow doorway to the tarmac. Before I knew it, I had been pushed from inside the airport onto a bus from the 1960's I could've sworn I was waiting for a plane at the airport.
But maybe this whole time I’d been in a bus station The lack of sleep was really getting me now.
Still with no international sim card or internet connection I asked the man I had spoken to earlier to see if I could borrow his phone to let my friend Roshan know that I was on my way Being the lovely Nepalese man that he was, he handed me his phone. I quickly scroll through my phone to find the screenshot of the Nepalese contact information Roshan had given me a few days prior I found it.
Ring ring, ring ring “Hello” “ROSHAN it’s me Ollie” “How are you my friend?” “Where are you?”
“Roshan, I’m using someone else’s phone. But I’m just about to board the plane” “Good, good” he assured me “I will send the driver to pick you up in 1 hour from the airport. He will bring you here”. “Ok” I answered I hung the phone up and handed it back to the man The bus gurgled as its engine started up and we began to drive across the tarmac to what I could only assume would be our plane I sat there produly, thinking to myself Alright, I’m doing this In my mind I slowly began to take stock of what had happened over the past 40 hours and began to plan what I was going to do in the next few Who am I meeting at the airport? I thought to myself. Oh that's right, the driver. Hmmm who’s the driver? I don't know What does he look like? Hmm I didn’t know that either Where is Bhadrapur again? Hmmm I really didn’t know that either. My heart began to race again, as I realised I was going in blind Just as my breathing was starting to escalate again, the bus came to a sudden halt and we were signalled by the driver to jump off It was now pitch black and the only thing insight was the smallest plane I had ever seen 4 seats across, with a propeller on each wing that looked like you had to wind it up by hand to get the old girl to start I grit my teeth in an attempt to try and hide my horror. The plane was even smaller on the inside, compared to how it looked from the outside The overhead baggage compartment couldn’t even fit my backpack in it I feel it must be stated that this backpack was
absolutely crammed as it was all that I had brought for my 2 week trip away, but still, no matter how hard I tried it I could not get it to fit. With quick thinking I managed to kick it under the seat in front of me and if I had my knees up underneath my chin, I could cover the end of it sticking out. At a quick glance it was barely noticeable Lucky for me, the stewardess had also had a long day and didn’t care to mention anything about my bag, not being safely stored for take off
Thwup, Thwup, Thuwp, the propellers on each wing began to spin and finally I was about to leave Kathmandu The plane quickly veered upwards to make it over the of the Himalayan mountain ranges that surround Kathmandu, slowly the lights of Kathmandu began to fade and we disappeared deeper into the night
I remember reading that this flight was only about 45 minutes, so I didn’t have much time to settle myself before the next phase of my adventure. The 45 minutes evaporated quickly and before I knew it, the plane was touching down again, this time at Bhadrapur airport An eerie fog covered the runway, with the light of the airplane being the only source of illumination I stepped off the airplane and on the tarmac, there was no lights anywhere, it was as close to pitch black as you could possibly be As my eyes began to adjust I could make 1 lone light globe hanging over the top of a market stall in the distance. My anxiety was heaving. Where in the f’ck was I and what the hell was I even doing? With no idea where to go or what to do, I decided my best course of action was to follow the other 10 passengers that were on the plane Surely they would know where to go I stopped in my tracks and looked back, everyone was filing over to this wire gate that I hadn’t seen before I followed everyone through the gate and into a carpark, with unmade roads and a makeshift bar illuminated underneath a string of neon light bulbs. I think this was the faint light that I saw from the tarmac
But, I’m not sure I’m super disoriented working around in the dark Jesus, where am I? I can't even see a hotel or someone to talk to. My heart feels like its about to escape through my chest and just as I feel a panic attack about to take over my entire body I hear someone say ‘Mr Ollie’ I squint my eyes in the dark and I see a short Nepalese man, standing with a much taller Nepalese man “Mr Ollie” he says again A million thoughts go through my head. The sheer darkness where this conversation is taking place is making everything worse “Mr Ollie” he says for a third time, this time I have no reservations. “Yes” I nod. He signals over to the parking lot at a silver 4WD and gestures for me to get in This man still hasn’t told me his name, but he knows mine So, this is a good start I think to myself. I hop into the back seat. The taller man, who’s yet to say a word, jumps in the driver's seat and Mr Ollie man hops in the passenger seat The 4WD slowly rolls out of the carpark and onto the dirt road of this incredibly rural town There’s no street lights anywhere, just the faint glimmer of single bulbs hanging in bare rooms that have been fashioned into makeship shops. The only products I can see for sale in each of them are packets of chips and what I would later find out was packets of betel nut. Rapidly these stores fade into the darkness and before long I am back in total darkness
We sit in complete silence for the next 25 minutes and I can barely make out anything outside of the car window. It’s just fields and fields of nothingness, with an eerie fog blanketed over the top of them In the distance I can see a flickering light and as we get closer I realize it's a fire on the side of the road billowing smoke, then 100m up the road there's another one and another one I felt like I was driving through a scene of a post apocalyptic film or I had stumbled into a round of Zombies on Call of Duty It was unsettling to say the least
45 minutes had now passed, (just as long as the flight over from Kathmandu) and we turned off ‘the main road’ and off onto a side road
The corrugated roads shake the 4wd vigorously and my head nearly bounces up and hits the roof I hear music coming from the end of the road, the source is still very unclear, until I see it. The largest house I have ever seen in the middle of these rural fields
All 3 stories and the courtyard are draped with lights This must be the place I think to myself as the car slowly comes to a stop out the front of this mansion Mr Ollie man signals for me to get out of the car and enter this stunning courtyard At the back of the courtyard I see Roshan dressed in a traditional Nepalese garment. It’s bright yellow and I am so incredibly happy to see him My 40 hour odyssey to find this wedding in rural nepal has reached it’s conclusion. I am truly beyond exhausted at this point But I’m told that the festivities are just beginning Everyone is dressed in traditional Nepalese wedding garments and I am standing there absolutely stinking in the same shorts and shirts I left Sydney in I get dragged onto the dance floor in the courtyard and am introduced as doing my best to imitate the dancing style of everyone else I can barely keep my eyes open at this point, yet I push on Moving my hands and feet, doing my best to not stand out When the moment is right I slide out the back of the dance floor and sit down Roshan comes over and tells me about the house I am in and where I’ll be staying The house is owned by the father of the bride, who is an extremely successful tea merchant. Most of the fields we drove past on the way here are owned by him and are used to grow his tea leaves This explains the absolute luxury of this mansion According to Roshan Nepalese tea is very different to the tea I am used to back in Australia Before I know it, I’m back out of my chair and I am going over to the man at the tea station. This station consisted of a massive pot full of milk sugar and tea leaves aggressively boiling away The tea needs to boil for at least 15 minutes, I was told. “This tea is almost done”. The man then scoops all the tea leaves out of the mixture and dumps it into another pot and then pours the remaining contents into little shooter cups. Very similar to how you would drink a shot of coffee in Italy
To say my life changed the moment that tea touched my lips would be trivialization I feel the more you see of the world, the more experiences you have, things back home can become ruined. I’m jaded now, jaded on what tea should taste like
The levels of flavour of this beverage far exceed anything I had ever experienced inside a teabag So many different flavour notes dancing over my taste buds with each sip I took. WOW I thought to myself What the hell have I been drinking back home? Because it certainly wasn’t tea Once I have finished drinking my tea, I am informed that the father of the bride has put every guest up in the local hotel in the town centre ‘What an incredible gesture’ I think to myself God I cannot wait to lay down. I am truly running on fumes at this point
Before long multiple 4WD’s arrive at the residence and we are all ferried to the town centre of Bhadrapur During this ride to the town centre I am told that I will be staying at a separate hotel from the other wedding guests and I will need to find my way from one hotel to the other in the morning to begin the festivities Seems easy enough. As I arrive at the hotel Roshan hands me a traditional Nepalese Daura Suruwal which I will be wearing tomorrow and I stumble my way up to the 3rd level of this hotel building and collapse into my room The longest day I have ever experienced finally comes to an end
Beep, beep, beep. Groggily I roll over and pick up my phone, that I managed to put on charge before I passed out last night 6:00am it reads I slowly kick my legs over the edge of bed and take stock of where I am and what I’m doing “Where am I?” “Bhadrapur, Nepal” Great, I have that sorted “Why am I up so early?” hmmmm “Why am I up so early?” I think to myself a second time “Oh thats right, I haven’t seen Bhadrapur in the light yet and I was going to go for a run before the wedding to try and get my bearings of this city and try and figure where the 2nd hotel might be I lace up my running shoes and jog downstairs into the lobby and then out into the carpark.
If you’ve gotten this far, you’ve probably picked up that I like to fly by the seat of my pants in all aspects of my life. It’s stressful, but I find it more exciting this way. Prior to my trip over to Nepal and India, I went to the doctors and asked to have all of the required shots, to keep myself safe They were able to give me every single one of them other than 1 The rabies shot Apparently the rabies shot needs to be in your system for at least 2 months before you enter your destination country I was firmly told by the doctor “DO NOT GET BITTEN BY A DOG” I assured her that I would, but as soon as I step outside of the hotel car park theres 3 stray dogs eyeing me up. A cool bead of sweat drips down my face “Just don’t look at them” I tell myself as I slowly break into a jog down the rocky unmade road. I’m still yet to have a Nepalese sim card at this point so I am, so I’m relying on my sense of direction to not get lost I plan a loop, out from the hotel to the main road and then run from one side of the town to the other and back This will allow me to figure out where I am and then also helps silence my brain's constant need for routine and exercise. As I make the first turn over a small man made bridge I run into 4 more stray dogs, again they eye up and down. But, me pretending not to see them ensures they stay put where they are The traffic sounds of the main road begin to increase in volume as I turn around another corner. I can now see shops and a bitumen road now "This must be it” I think to myself As I pull out onto the main road I am greeted by sheer and utter chaos. Scooters, motorbikes, horse drawn carts, buses, trucks all dancing in each other's chaos Pure insanity “I’ll just stay on this side of the road for now” I think to myself. “Much, much easier”. I glance down at my watch I’m already 1 5 kms in I’ll just do 1km out and back from here and then I’ll head back to the hotel and get ready.
It was quite the site for the residents of Bhadrapur Seeing this random white guy jog down the middle of their main street. Each person that drove past had a puzzled, yet curious look on their faces “Who is this man and what is he doing here?” The main road quickly turned into farmland once again and I could see the tea fields that we drove through last night In the dark I could not quite grasp the vastness of where I was As far as the eye could see was tea fields on both sides of the road I looked for the mansion I was taken to last night, but nothing looked familiar Before I knew it I had run my 1km out and now it was time to head back to the hotel. I learnt road running from the dad, and avid runner He always told me that when you’re running on the road “always run against traffic, so that you can see what is coming towards you” With his words of wisdom ringing in my ears I decided to try my luck crossing this insanely busy road. I felt I was far enough outside of the city centre that it would now be a possibility
I made it across the road and now I was on my back to the hotel to get ready for this wedding For me, running allows me incredible think time I formulate all of my creative ideas whilst running and I also like to take stock of my life and figure out things I can do better “This trip has been truly wild and I’m only 2 days into it” I think to myself “How lucky am I!” and before I know it, I’m turning back off the main road and into the side streets, past the stray dogs, over the footbridge and into the hotel lobby. I have 1 hour until I am due at the other hotel, I didn’t have a chance to scout it out on this run, but it can’t be that hard to find In the daylight this town seems quite small.
1 quickly scurry up the stairs and into the shower and wash off the previous day's travel and the dirt from my run. Now clean and ready to go I stare at the daura suruwal laid out on my bed. Hmmm the pants seem very straight forward, although there’s no pockets I’m sure I can figure out a spot for my phone later, but the top half of this outfit is unlike any shirt I’ve ever seen before There’s multiple strings on the side and it looks like it fits together like a kimono of some sort. I put my arms in each hole and try to tie it up myself I look at myself in the mirror and it looks horrendous “Right, let’s try again” I say to myself. As I’m wrestling with his garment, time is slowly ticking away and after a few more failed attempts, I decided to just leave with it open Bare chested I walked down the stairs and into the hotel lobby. I have my camera slung over my shoulder and my phone with Nepalese Rupee stuffed into the cover in the waistband of my underpants. It’s quite the look. No one is behind the reception counter,”great” But I do manage to make eye contact with the parking guard outside. He smiles at me and I simply shrug my shoulders as if to say “I don’t know what I’m doing brother” I walk over to him and ask if he knows how this garment works Lucky for me he understands my English and offers to help I place my camera and phone o
n the ground and put my arms outstretched so he can access the inner strings of the shirt The other guard on duty see’s what we are doing and comes over to help. There we are, 3 fully grown, 3 strangers laughing and giggling at how difficult this shirt is to put on After a few minutes we’ve done our best and the shirt is semi presentable and I am on my way. Lucky for me the hotel I was staying at had Wifi and so I was able to plug the address of the other hotel into my google maps and so I had something to follow.
I cross the busy main street of Bhadrapur, upon better judgment, with my nose buried in my phone. I really don’t want to miss the street I have to turn down. So I am adamantly following my little blue dot on the map “Ok, its definitely this road” I assure myself 200 meters and then I turn left Avoid the stray dogs on your right. Check. Turn left check “Hmmm this is a very narrow corridor” I think to myself as I’m ducking underneath the very short doorway. The maps telling me to keep walking forward for 100 meters But, I honestly feel like I’m in someone's backyard No Ollie, follow the maps” I firmly tell myself. Ok, nope turn around, turn around. I’m inside someones house now WTF google maps! I quickly turn a scurry away trying to not make eye contact with the poor people, who house I’ve just stumbled into. Ok, I will retrace my steps back to the main road and try again
Now back out on the main road I zoom out on the google maps and see there’s a second street that looks like it connects with the hotel of which I am trying to get to. I’m gonna try my luck. This road is slightly more open then the previous road I was on before I entered those poor people's houses No stray dogs in this street either. What a great start.
Random cow posted up in the empty block though. Huh whatever. I’m on a mission here. I’ve only got 15 minutes before the festivities begin The hotel should be up here on the right according to my maps. “I think that looks like a hotel” I say outloud to the cow who just looks at me puzzled then goes back to eating his grass I can hear music coming from down the end of the street. I think this it.
As I enter the compound of the parking lot I am greeted with the first incredible site of the day. Women in beautiful red and white Dhaka Sari’s Majestically dancing around to the sound of traditional Nepali music. I have arrived.
Everyone glances at the random white guy who has just arrived But, before I could say anything Roshan is by my side. “How are you my friend?” he asks. “Find the place alright?”. “Living the dream” I answer “Where is your suit jacket?” “I told you to bring a suit jacket” I don’t think Roshan had seen the backpack I bought over from Australia. There was no way I was fitting a suit jacket in there “I forgot it” I answered (It was never packed) “Ok” he said as he quickly ran off. A few minute later he came back with a jacket he had sourced from someone else This suit jacket was designed for a Nepalese build and definitely not mine. I squeezed into the jacket and conceded that there wasn’t going to be much upper body movement today My wrestling moves would have to wait
Roshan gave me the run down for the day “There will be lots of dancing my friend, lots and lots dancing”. “Shortly we will leave this hotel and dance our way back to the house you came to last night” “Dance all the way?” I asked “Surely not” He laughed “Haha ok not the whole way. We all pile into cars and once we make it off the main road, we will all jump out and dance down the road to the house” “Wow, okay Let’s do it! What car do I jump in?” I asked. “Well they’re all full. So you can jump on the back of my uncles motorbike and he’ll drive you there”
Before I knew it, I was cuddling into the back of another Nepalese man I had never met and we were bouncing our way along the rocky side roads and then out onto the main road. Effortlessly weaving in and out of traffic, we quickly caught up to the cars in the wedding procession I waved at the band who were all sitting in the bed of the truck, instruments in hand Before long we had turned off the main road and I joined back with the wedding party.
As the band filed off the bus the music began to play again and we all marched down the dirt road Men and women all dancing with their hands in the air. Such an infectious feeling, I started to follow suit As we approached the house the excitement in the crowd quickly rose, the music began to speed up. The feeling in the air was that we were about to experience something special
The crowd filed into the courtyard of the house and the wedding car pulled up everyone's head turned to face the front gate we had just come through. The groom stepped out of the car shaded by a big red umbrella. He made his way through the crowd like a prize fighter coming to the ring for his big boxing bout I quickly pushed my way to the stage and the top of the courtyard to snap the photo you saw on the front page of this publication The groom quickly approached the stage and I managed to slot back into the crowd and continue being a spectator of this incredible event
The bride exited the car and made her way through the crowd This was the first time I had seen her today She looked stunning, draped in a red saree with traditional gold jewellery. She made her way onto the stage alongside the groom for the first of many traditional activities that were to take place today.
My favourites being the bride's family stealing the groom's shoes and then him having to barter to get them back. As well as the ‘Sindoor and Mangalsutra’ ceremony where the groom applies the ‘Tika’ on his new brides forehead
As I had been told, Nepalese weddings are multi day events and even though I had gotten a full night's rest the day before the jetlag started to set in and at 10pm I found my way back to the hotel and collapsed onto the bed I awoke to the sound of knocking Unsure of what I heard, I try to go back to sleep. “Maybe I dreamt it” I thought to myself. The knocking happened again, louder this time I went to the door and it was Rosha, his wife and a man I’d never seen before “How are you my friend?”, “Great” I answered. “This is my cousin, he will be staying with you in here” “Ok” I said The man nodded at me with his suitcase in hand “I will be leaving at 4:00am tomorrow, I will see you Kathmandu” “Sure” “The driver who picked you up from the airport won't be here tomorrow, so just waved down a motorbike in the mainstreet and they will be able to take you”. And like that he was gone There I sat, perplexed by what had just happened in the previous 3 minutes,
I looked over to my right and the man who came to the door with Roshan was already in bed gesturing if it was ok for him to turn the light out. I gave him the nod and for the next 8 hours this man snored like an absolute freight train, directly in my ear, as the two single beds in the room were right next to each other. Already exhausted I tried every position to get comfortable to fall asleep but it just would not happen with this freight train next to me. Defeated, I decide to stare at the ceiling for the next several hours and figure out how I was going to get back to the airport I honestly had no idea where I was. I came here in the dark and all I had seen of the town was that short run I did and then the house that hosted the wedding ceremony.
Morning eventually arrived and I had the searing pain of a headache that you get when you’ve had a terrible night's rest. I think I managed to get some sort of rest because that random guy was not in the room anymore I hopped in the shower and then helped myself to the hotel continental breakfast and 9:58am I checked out of the hotel and at 10:00am I was out on the main road Bhadrapur Before I flagged down a taxi, I thought I’d better get myself a Nepalese sim card, just incase the motorbike driver goes rogue and then I end up lost somewhere with zero wifi
Nepal was the first country I’ve been to where they take a copy of your passport when you buy a sim card The same thing happened to me in India as well. I’m convinced I have been identity thefted in both countries, but for me it was worth the security of knowing where I was going in this foreign place.
Now that I had a phone with the internet, I felt slightly more settled and oriented. I stuck my hand out on the side of the road and waved down the first motorbike taxi I could “Airport?” I asked, the man nodded “How much?” “1000 Rupee” he replied. That's the white people's price for sure, I thought to myself “500” He shook his head “700” “Deal Feeling very accomplished I threw my bag onto the back seat and then jumped in myself Google maps was telling me its a 35 minute motorbike drive I slouched back into the seat and let myself relax for the first time since I had left my bed back in Sydney. I’m doing it, I thought to myself This moment of bliss was shortly interrupted by the violent shaking of the motorbike driving on the dirt roads on the outskirts of the main town For the next 33 minutes I was violently shook from side to side, doing my best not to throw up.
Almost drunkenly, I stumbled out of the motorbike taxi at the airport, doing my best not to throw up the continental breakfast I had eaten 1 hour previous. I waved goodbye to the taxi driver and made my way into the Bhadrapur domestic airport I had 1 hour to kill before my flight, so I thought this would be a great time to read my book I took my backpack off and placed it on the ground in front of me “Hmmmmm” I thought to myself. “I could have sworn my book was in the front pocket of my backpack” “Yep I definitely put it there” I assured myself Then it dawned on me The book must've fallen out the back of the motorbike taxi during all that violent shaking and I was too busy trying not to vomit that I didn’t notice I let out a chuckle “Sometimes it’s not your day Ol”. Oh well, I had a phone and some internet now, perhaps I could start figuring out where it is that I have to go once I get into Kathmandu
I texted Roshan asking how his trip was going and where I should meet him once I arrived in Kathmandu. He quickly responded “Very busy my friend, once you arrive in Kathmandu explore the city and then I will text you the address of where I will meet you” Usually I am all for exploring new cities any chance I get, but I was going to be in Kathmandu for a week and I was running on close to no sleep and serious jetlag “Are you sure I can just come straight to the house?” I swiftly texted back “It’s very busy here mate, best you spend that day out” Begrudgingly I texted back “ok” Maybe it will be fun to explore Kathmandu. Especially now that I have internet. I boarded the flight back to Kathmandu full of optimism
The plane touched down in Kathmandu and I was full of confidence I breezed my way out of the domestic airport, past the hagglers on motorbikes and I was making my way out of the airport precinct and into the city There were a lot more people here compared to where I had just come from. Traffic was 6-8 motorbikes across 4 lanes, horns were constantly being honked, I could feel the walls closing in on me I quickly made my way into a hole in the wall restaurant, just to escape the chaos.
I sat down at the sticky wooden table and just caught my breath for a moment The feeling of anxiety slowly dissipated and I began to settle again. I looked at the menu on the table which was in Nepalese and I saw मम which I recognised from the airport MOMO’s! Thank god At Least I will be able to fill my stomach. I ordered 2 servings of the buff (water buffalo) momo’s and before long I was ready to brave the chaotic streets of Kathmandu once again.
In reflection, I think it was the lack of sleep, but as soon as I stepped out of the restaurant I felt swallowed by the city again. There was so much going on and I couldn’t seem to get my bearings anywhere Anxiously my eyes darted for somewhere to hide. I couldn't go back into the restaurant I just came out of Hastily I slipped down the first back alley I saw, pulled my phone out and made a secondary call to Roshan. “Mate, I gotta come now” I said in a panicked voice “Is everything ok?” he asked “I, I think I’ve just got to lie down. Can you tell me your address so I can at least put my bag down?”. “We actually don't have addresses like you’re used to back home mate” he replied, Thinking this was some kind of joke I said “What do you mean?” in a somewhat annoyed voice “We just kind of know where the house is” he said with a chuckle My headache began to pound again and my hands got clammy. “Please mate How do I get to the house” “Ok, ok, ok What you need to do is flag down a motorbike and get someone to take you to Bhat-Bhateni in RadheRadhe”. This sounded like absolute gibberish to me on the other end of the phone “Don’t worry, I’ll text it through to you”
Every motorcyclist I managed to flag down gave me the most puzzled look when I showed them my phone. “Bhat-Bhateni in Radhe-Radhe” they would read out loud,before they shook their heads at rode off Defeated I began looking up airbnb’s because I was convinced that I wasn’t going to find someone to take me to Bhat-Bhateni in Radhe-Radhe Until finally, a young kid pulled up on his motorcycle as I think he could sense that I was a defeated man.
He looked at me and asked “Where do you need to go?” I showed him my phone, he looked at it, then at me and then asked my ‘Are you sure?” wearily I nodded my head, he then gestured for me to jump on the back of his motorbike The Kathmandu air was beginning to get crisp as sundown was closing in. I began to shiver on the back of the motorbike as we drove from one side of Kathmandu to the other, after about 40 minutes we arrived at a supermarket on the side of the highway
“Does Roshan’s family live in a supermarket?” I thought to myself as I slowly got off the back of the bike The motorcyclist turned to me and asked me “Do you need me to wait whilst you do your shopping?”. “No it’s ok, I’m meeting a friend” I assured him What the hell was going on? I called Roshan for a third time “Hey mate, I’m at the supermarket. What do you want me to do?”. “Just stay there my friend” he reassured me “I’ll be there in a few minutes” Before long Roshan turned up on his motorcycle and said to me “I need to go and buy some roses for my brother's bedroom Do you mind if we do that first?” “I guess not,” I answered Knowing full well I had no choice in the matter. I could feel my body starting to shut down due to pure exhaustion
1 hour later we finally made it to the family home, which just for reference was 3 blocks back from the supermarket at the side of the highway Roshan explained to me that in Nepalese culture 3 - 4 generations of a single family live under the same roof and “this is where the next stage of the celebration will be taking place”
“Another party?”Jesus Christ, I thought to myself I just need to lay down “When’s that party happening?” I asked. “Should be tonight,” he replied. “We are just waiting on their flight to arrive” My head started to pound again “Really?” “Yes, my friend But the weather is bad back in Bhadrapur, so their flights might be delayed until tomorrow” “Oh no” I said whilst secretly high fiving myself as we entered the home It was 4 storeys high with marble floors throughout. It was actually stunning Every floor was full of people that I recognised from the wedding Everyone waved and smiled at me as I dragged myself up each flight of stares until we were on the fourth floor in the kitchen “This will be your room my friend” Roshan took me into a room just off the kitchen. “This the laundry room” he stated whilst gesturing at the piles of clothes scattered throughout the room “I hope this is ok” he said “Mate it’s perfect” I said. “I’ll come get you when my brother arrives” he said as he shut the door behind him I did not even bother getting changed and I just collapsed onto the bed.
RING, RING, RING HUUUUUUMMMMMMM
HUUUUUMMMMM “What the hell is going on”, I thought to myself as I woke up in a puddle of my own drool “Where am I? Whose clothes are these? Oh shit Did I miss their arrival? Where is Roshan?” I quickly opened the door and stepped into the kitchen, where there was, I kid you not 25 people standing around “How many people are staying in this house?” I thought to myself. Roshan was nowhere to be seen, but everyone else in the kitchen seemed incredibly happy to see me They gestured at the dinning table for me to sit down and before I knew it. There was a fresh cup of Nepalese tea sitting in front of and some sort of fried pastry I’d never seen before My stomach craved anything, so without even asking what it was I just crammed it into my mouth It tasted like a savoury donut As soon as I had finished the first one, a second one was on my plate. To my left there was aunty in the kitchen just pumping these delicious snacks out
“Ahhh so you like the Sel Roti my friend?” I turned “Roshan”, I exclaimed, as he made his way up the stairs and into the kitchen. “I’m so sorry, I just crashed last night. Did I miss your brother's arrival?” I asked “No, no, their flight was delayed until this morning But, they’re arriving shortly and the ‘Janti’ will begin. Quickly finish your breakfast. We are going out to the Bhat-Bhateni to meet and welcome them upon their arrival” I quickly smashed down my second Sel Roti, smiled at the aunty in the kitchen and quickly ran back to my room to grab my camera
As a household of 30 people, we walked down to Bhat-Bhateni supermarket that I was dropped off at yesterday On the other side of the road there was a marching band standing there with their instruments on the ground and cigarettes in hand “Surely that’s not for us” I thought to myself As Roshan was making his way over to them. Yep, it most definitely was Before 2 days ago I’d only ever seen marching bands in the movies But now it appeared that I was going to be performing in my second street parade in as many days.
“They’re arriving, they're arriving”, I heard Roshan say. The band quickly cranked up their instruments and we began dancing down the sidestreet with the newly weds car, following us close behind. I quickly pushed myself to the front of the dance party and gave myself some room so that I could capture it
We danced the whole way back to the family house, and we all surrounded the car like paparazzi waiting to get a glimpse of the newlyweds. The bride and groom exited the car and an enormous cheer was let out I later found out that this was the bride's first time seeing this family house and she would be living here for the next 3 months if they could barter their way into the house
The groom’s family blocked the front door, 4 people abreast Bartering began in Nepalese, so I couldn't understand what was being said, but after 2 minutes of intense conversation, money was exchanged hands, similar to what I had seen two days previous with the groom's shoes and the bride was able to enter the house for the first time, closely followed her new husband, the local priest and then the 30 other people (myself included) who were waiting outside.
Everyone raced to the top floor of the home, by the time I had made it up there, the bride and mother in law were sitting on the floor with a huge pile of rice between them एक, ई, तीन (1,2,3) they began racing looking for gold coins that were hidden in the rice. It was later explained to me that this game was completed to establish the power dynamic between the new bride and her mother in law. It was incredible to watch and of course the mother in-law won
A term that I had not yet heard before my time in Nepal was ‘Our guest is our god’ A term that Nepalese people proudly wear on their sleeves. For the next several days I was lovingly and graciously accepted into the Giri family Every morning I would come out of the room where the laundry was folded and was greeted with warm smiles, traditional Nepalese tea and fresh Sel Roti I was allowed to exist at the end of the table and observe the family come down from the high of the wedding celebration and settle back into everyday life The warmth in this house was unlike anything I had ever experienced and truly felt blessed that I was invited to be included in it.
Thank you Roshan, Thank you Giri Family and thank you Sambhav and Bishal for making my time in Nepal post wedding celebrations so memorable
I will never forget any of you and will come back to visit one day Ollie.
