1 minute read
say what?
mom life
Might be coffee, might be wine.
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“It’s spicy” universal Mom code for “I’m not sharing” My kid’s driving me crazy. Well played, Karma. Parenting style: “But did you die?” hello week
My alone time is for everyone’s safety. Mamacita needs a margarita. I’m super tired. It’s like regular tired with a cape.
On Sundays we wear pajamas
Saturdays are for the girls
Fri-nally!
You say Thursday, I say Friday eve
Happy hump day
Tuesdays are for tacos Dear Monday, go step on a Lego you got this Throw glitter in today’s face Don’t stress. Do your best. Forget the rest. Actually, I can All hustle and heart Sunshine mixed with a little hurricane Queen Don’t stop get it get it adulting is hard
Being an adult is mostly just Googling symptoms. My age is very inappropriate for my behavior. Too old for Snapchat, too young for Life Alert. I don’t mind getting older, but my body is taking it badly. Remember that age gets better with wine. You know you’re old when happy hour is a nap. Another fine day ruined by responsibility.
#worklife
I’m not feeling very worky today
Frankly autocorrect, I’m getting a bit tired of your @#!%
As far as I know I’m delightful Stop petting my peeves let’s wine about it
I’m sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud at you?
I’m not bossy, I’m aggressively helpful Who the #@!& took my pencil? Oh here it is.
Let me drink about it and get back to you
Be nice, be useful, bring wine
I swear to drunk I’m not God I have mixed drinks about feelings What doesn’t kill us makes our drinks stronger Trust me, you can dance – Wine
If you combine wine and dinner you get winner
