DIET & EXERCISE // Will Strecker, University of Texas at Austin
Loosely based on Moses’ Ten Commandments and heavily based on Notorious B.I.G.’s Ten Crack Commandments. I.
NEVER LET NO ONE KNOW HOW MUCH WEIGHT YOU’RE PRESSING Lifting weights breeds jealousy, which won’t earn you any friends at the Rec. At least, don’t brag about how strong or athletic you are. People will grow to hate you. Keep your ego in check.
II.
NEVER LET ‘EM KNOW YOUR NEXT MOVE This applies to every situation you might be in at the Rec. Real killas move in silence, right? When lifting weights, don’t tell anyone your next workout. For sports, stay one step ahead of the competition. Don’t let your opponent get the upper hand.
III.
NEVER TRUST NOBODY People will let you down at the Rec more often than not. Become a oneman wrecking ball. Learn to lift weights without a spotter like a real man, and shoot the ball every time you get it. If you want something done right, do it yourself.
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IV.
NEVER GET HIGH ON YOUR OWN SUPPLY Think of your supply as your energy. Don’t waste it working out on someone else’s level or passing the ball to a teammate. First and foremost, focus on yourself and your own personal glory.
V.
LEAVE THE REC AT THE REC Don’t bring the Rec home with you. This can mean many things: don’t workout at home, don’t play sports at home or leave the attitude you’ve developed for the Rec at the Rec. It’s not the most attractive attitude to have in the real world.
VI.
THAT CREDIT, DEAD IT! If your friend tells you “Oh, we’ll do that next time,” forget it! Don’t settle for “next time.” There is no next time. If you keep putting things off, eventually you’ll put your entire life off until “next time,” and then your life will become meaningless.
VII.
KEEP YOUR FAMILY AND THE REC SEPARATE The Rec and your family don’t mix, like two d*cks and—okay I’ll stop with the Biggie reference. While your family is a great force in your life, don’t let them have a say in how many weights you wanna lift today.
VIII.
NEVER KEEP NO WEIGHT ON YOU Don’t carry weights around with you when you’re not working out. You could seriously hurt yourself.
IX.
STAY AWAY FROM THE POLICE This is true at all times of your life. The police don’t want you to be strong and fit, just in case they have to chase you down the street for j-walking or something else meaningless.
X.
HAVE A PURPOSE FOR GOING Whether it’s to get strong, develop that summer body or to just be more active, know what you’re going there for. Don’t be the guy walking around the Rec all day who never actually does anything. Or, worse yet, don’t be the guy who sits in the locker room for hours watching people change. JULY 2016
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