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VA L E N T INE S DAY V S S H A R K S | by john david white
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VALENTINES DAY VS. SHARKS Valentines Day is this month. Good grief, another Hallmark holiday that excludes a third of the world’s population. Please shoot me in the face if gun control still doesn’t exist by the time this is published. I’m sure some of you are rolling your eyes because of my insensitive gun control joke, but I bet most of you are rolling your eyes because you’ve got a big night planned with your significant other. But to you I say—What does it all mean? Why do you have to prove your love on February 14th of all days and
Article Talk Read not like on a hot and sexy Tuesday Main Page Valentine’s in September? And Contents Day vs. Sharks Featured Content why are months Current Events and days of the SB: So, Wikipedia, Random Events what’re the origins week proper nouns Donate to Wiki behind this Western traWiki Home that need to be dition that’s so ingrained capitalized? But I in our culture? What Interaction digress. does it all mean? Help To get to the About Wiki Wikipedia: Valentine Community Portal bottom of this, of Terni became bishop Recent Changes I helped Study of Interamna (modern Contact Page Terni) about AD 197 Breaks interview and is said to have Tools a close friend of been martyred during What Links mine who happens the persecution under Related Changes Emperor Aurelian. Saint to be an accredited Upload Valentine’s head was Special Pages historian and preserved in the abbey Permanent Link philosopher. Here’s of New Minster, WinPage Information what we learned. chester, and venerated. Cite this Page (diagram to the SB: Scandalous! And do Printable right) YOU have plans this year Create a Book Despite my for Valentines Day? Downlaod as PDF interview, I Printable Version Wikipedia: still had a lot https://en.wikipedia. of questions org/wiki/Breast about the true meaning behind the “holiday.” More importantly, we’d yet to answer the question looming in the collective unconsciousness since the paleo-dawn of Valentine’s Day traditions. That is course, which is better— sharks or Valentine’s day? Very little research has been done on the subject since Shark of Valenintus died so grotesquely in AD 69 studying shark orthodontia, but I will do my noblest to break it down. Most of the college professors and researchers spearheading the debate declined an interview, so we turn first to a well-known media-giant in environmental science—The Discovery Channel. They dedicate an entire WEEK to sharks,
GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS? GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS? -Geico Hump Day Camel (2013-2015) In memoriam
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JANUARY 2016 • STUDYBREAKS.COM