The key to a successful marriage is being able to take a moment to gather yourself and turn down the instant you realize that the Trail of Lites must be a totally different thing.
Do you want people to know that you consume controlled substances, but only in very moderate amounts? Forever 21 Men has come out with a line of shirts just for you! My personal favorite reads “Cocaine: 2ish bumps.”
The city witches can disguise themselves in black fest garb all they want, but a witch is a witch—the Puritans knew it and Roald Dahl knew it. They’re not buying all those herbs and spices to season their baths, people!
If ever your mom insults you by asking you to “neigh like a horsey,” exceed her expectations and become the horsey. It’s called method acting, mom! True thespians aren’t created, they’re born—now brush my mane.
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JANUARY 2016