Study Breaks Magazine

Page 23

Ben Carson, 64

Jeb Bush, 62

Obama set the precedent, ladies. Once you go black you never go back. Forget first lady, you can be the first sidepiece Graduated from Yale, but still love Wale and that Lotus Flower I don’t believe in love at first but I believe in love at first Also a Doctor, yeah I know, here’s a towel clean yourself up I don’t believe in carbon dating, but if you fine I do believe in Carbons dating, unless you’re a dude I believe in the second amendment so be ready for my bear arms. Also I’ve killed a man.

Tx FL MA UT Graduate, and yes everything is bigger in Texas ;) Former Massachusetts governor, and cooler than my older brother, plus I can actually get the Mission Accomplished if you catch my drift Even thought I’m not defined by my last name, I still am what I eat ;) You may have heard of my dad Phi Betta Kappa, even though I tried to start the Kappa Kappa Kappa but for some reason it was outlawed Athlete and I still have the racket And ladies I’m more than just a pretty face, I graduated Magna Cum laude so swipe right!

Ted Cruz, 45

Sarah Palin, 51

I don’t mean to brag but I went to Harvard and Princeton, so I’m street smart and book smart And yes I know I look like Kevin from The Office, but I fancy myself as more of an Angela or Oscar, cause I am good with numbers, partly because I graduated from Harvard and Princeton On our date we can do like my last name and Cruz around with my chauffer, getting money like we post to be, then I’ll buy you some groceries, then eat ‘em cause I’m hungry!!! So swipe right, unless you went to a bastard school like Brown. I say that because I graduated from Harvard and Princeton

Back on this thing bc my running mate didn’t work out I know I’m not a favorite, but good luck Nailin’ this Pailin’ down I’m not ur typical girl, > I believe in both parts of a shotgun wedding Cal me Gillette cuz I’m the best a man can I get. And I’ll cut u Not here for a hook-up!!!!! But we can Netflix and Bison Chili… just don’t be a minority Rather be ur shot of tequila than ur cup of tea We could watch SNL now that Tina Fey is gone! Former VP candidate, future HBIC of this great country

2 (like split Siamese twins) miles away

Where’s Harvard from here miles away

Hindsight is 20/20 miles away

420 miles away

JANUARY 2016

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