Raphaelite Newsletter - Issue no.9

The Raphaelite

...to the Christmas issue of the Raphaelite.

Looking back on all that has happened in 2022, I am struck by what another extraordinary year it has been. For many of us, the resumption of a ‘more normal’ way of life has been so welcome. The ability to spend time with family and friends, to travel freely and enjoy holidays at home or abroad, and generally to be able to do things that have been paused or off limits.

Within our community in Merton and Sutton, post pandemic there seems to be a greater awareness of the need to support people who are in need. We see this, at the Hospice, through people coming forward to volunteer in our shops, support our community teams, and to facilitate activities in the Wellbeing Centre and so many more volunteering roles. This is indicative of a compassionate community in which people want to support services that enable people to live their best life. As a charity, we are enormously grateful to and proud of our volunteers who we rely on to support so much of what we do.

In September, many millions of people across the UK and globally were affected - in some way - by the death of Queen Elizabeth II. The Queen chose to die in her own home. She did so peacefully, with dignity and privacy, no doubt cared for by skilled physicians, and surrounded by her nearest and dearest.

Reflecting on the environment in which she spent her final days and hours, I couldn’t help but draw parallels between the way in which she chose to die and the services that St Raphael’s provide to people in our local communities.

We know that our work has a lasting impact on patients and their families. The words from a card received from a bereaved daughter whose father died at home, supported by the Hospice, exemplify this: “… Thankyouforallthehelp,care andkindnessyougavetomyfamilyduringthelast fewweeksofDad’slife.Knowingwecouldringand talktosomeoneatanytime,andreceivingsuch kindnesswhenwedid,wassoreassuring.Allofthe teamweresogentleintendingtoDad.Weareso gratefulforallthesupportyougaveus.”

Everyone deserves to choose where they want to die, knowing that they will receive world class care. Resources to make this a reality are always stretched and now, more so than ever, it is becoming increasingly difficult to care for everyone who wishes to come into the Hospice, or be supported at home by our expert staff. Our ambition is for everyone to have a genuine choice and, to make that possible, we need to redouble our fundraising efforts to ensure that our services can meet rising demands.

The difference hospice services can make is immense, not only to the choice, comfort and dignity of the person in our care but also to family members and friends. As a charity, we rely on the support of our community – through donations and voluntary time – to deliver our services to people across Merton and Sutton.

After almost 25 years, this December marks the end of my career at St Raphael’s. During my time here, I have worked on the ward, in the community and latterly as Joint CEO. I have always held the

belief that the Hospice is a beacon of hope, offering reassurance to people that their palliative and end of life care and the support of those important to them will always be available when needed.

I leave the Hospice confident that there is expert medical, nursing and support teams in place, led by our Joint CEO, Nick Stevens, within a warm, welcoming and comfortable environment - serving our local community with dignity and compassion. But there is a funding gap and to sustain this vital service into the future, we need your help. All the ways you can choose to support us are outlined within this issue.

If you can, and most especially during the festive season, I ask you to consider acting now and donate to support St Raphael’s.

I wish each and every one of you a Happy Christmas and thank you in anticipation for your support.

Gail Linehan, Joint CEO

Dedicate a light and celebrate the life of someone special this Christmas

Our Light up a Life appeal and annual tree-lighting ceremony was launched more than 20 years ago, to pay tribute to loved ones no longer with us. In and amongst the festive cheer of the season, we wish to provide a tranquil place where one can take a moment to reflect. A special and personal space for all who take part.

Over the festive season each year, thousands of white lights illuminate St Raphael’s Christmas tree in pride of place on the Hospice grounds. People are invited to dedicate a light in memory of a loved one, whilst making a donation in support of the Hospice. The Hospice grounds offer a tranquil haven in the heart of the community; a personal place to reflect amongst the festive cheer, in remembrance and celebration of friends and family.

This year, the service and tree-lighting ceremony will take place over 2 nights, on 3 and 4 December, to enable more of our community to attend the event. By lighting a light for someone special and by making a donation, you are making a vital difference to our patients and those closest to them. Our Light up a Life Appeal is an important contributor to our charity each year. We would not be able to provide the services we do without your support.

Over the past 20 years, our Light up a Life appeal has raised nearly £1,700,000 for the Hospice, with more than 45,000 lights adorning our tree over the past two decades. Thank you to all who have supported us and dedicated a light to a loved one each year and a heartfelt thank you to those who will be lighting a life for the first time with us this year. Every penny goes directly into the ongoing care of our community.

To dedicate a light to a loved one this year, please visit straphaels.org.uk/lual22. Dedications are open to donations of any amount, no matter how big or small. The lights on the tree symbolise your dedication to your loved one. They will be lit at both our Light up a Life ceremonies and will remain on until twelfth night.

EVERYDAY MOMENTS

THAT MAKE A DIFFERENCE

“Everyone deserves to feel like themselves. I have become quite well known for my super spa days on the ward! For those on the Inpatient Unit who feel well enough and would like a bit of pamper time, we have a large spa bath which we complete with wonderful bath products donated by generous people and businesses. Most of the time, patients simply wish to feel like themselves, have their hair washed or cut and feel refreshed. We’re always on hand to help make this happen. If our patient is immobile, we have facilities where we are able to wash their hair while they lay down in bed. We also have wonderful local hairdressers who pop in to help us too. It’s the least we could do.”

– Denise, Healthcare Assistant

“One of our patients, many years ago, was a longstanding member of a local brass band. As a tremendous farewell tribute, the entire brass band played outside of his Hospice window. We have been fortunate to be a part of many special moments with our patients and their loved ones. Some moments big, some small, yet every moment meaningful. We’ve helped plan weddings at the Hospice, where some of us have had the privilege of standing beside our patients as they exchange their vows.”

– Julie, Staff Nurse

“One Christmas, we helped create a romantic dinner date for our patient and her husband. It was a difficult time for them and their spirits were low. As this would be their last Christmas together, they hoped to make the most of it away from the Hospice bed. We all gathered at the onsite Orangery to put together a “date night” for the couple. Little special touches were brought in by all of the staff. It’s a special recollection that we hold dear. A small gesture for their final Christmas together. These moments are a great honour for us to be a part of.”

Cathy, Staff Nurse

“We all think of the life we want to live. It’s natural that we never want to think of the end. The truth is, having a good ending means everything. We all deserve the best care. The comfort and peace that a good ending brings to our loved ones is something that’s lifelong, which is why it needs to be the very best we can make it. This is the reason why I am passionate about hospice care and palliative care.

Having worked at St Raphael’s for almost 30 years, I have certainly accumulated a valuable trove of special moments and memories which is ever-growing.

Everyone at this Hospice shares the same value of care, be it in the IPU, Wellbeing Centre or through our Psychological Support Team. I’ve seen it throughout my career at St Raphael’s, everyone gives the very best of themselves to each patient and those close to them. We provide the care that we would hope for our own families to receive. Something small like moving a patient’s bed to face the garden, and adding a bird-feeder

“A patient of ours loved Rod Stewart. She was hoping for her energy to be lifted so we played her Rod Stewart, while we sang and danced at her bedside. It was important for us to simply enjoy that very moment with her, in the way that she wanted. Our care, personalised Hospice and palliative care, is about quality of life and trying to make every day the best it can possibly be. It’s the importance of the precious “in-between” moments, every single one.”

Carley, Healthcare Assistant

“I had a serendipitous moment where I met a lovely patient wanting to make a donation to the Hospice. It turned out that we shared the same surname and a love for food. He did not have any family and spoke of his wife’s passing, saying that he missed her traditional Indian cooking. I went home that afternoon and prepared a traditional meal for him. We all deserve to be cared for, even through a meal that may bring comfort. This turned out to be one of his last meals, which brings me comfort too.”

– Chetna, Fundraising Assistant

“One of our patients wanted to have a happy farewell party, shared with his family and close friends. He wanted a celebration of his life that he could be a part of. We all jumped in to make this happen quickly for him. We transformed the Hospice Orangery into a happy party. It was a lovely, summery day and more than 20 family members and friends gathered to celebrate. Our staff brought in beverages and special touches. It was a day that I think of and smile! Whether a patient fancies a Gregg’s steak bake, one last seat at a football game or some form of party planning, our team will always put hand in pocket, get our skates on and try our best to make it happen.”

– Paula, Housekeeping Manager

in the garden for them, so that they are able to watch the birds outside. Everyone here is very much invested in these little gestures of importance. We’re lucky to have a real sense of positivity throughout our Hospice, with everyone doing their own little bit to make the care as brilliant as possible.

Last Christmas while working at the Hospice, Paula (our wonderful Hospice housekeeper) made sure that I had a lovely breakfast and Christmas dinner. She cooked a turkey lovingly at home and brought it in for us to all enjoy together. It’s not often that we get to pause over a wonderful meal together with our team, so this is a moment that I treasure. Despite working over Christmas and not being home, it truly is the most at home and cared for we could feel outside of our own families. "

– Lisa Bentley, Nurse Associate

WE NEED TO RAISE AN EXTRA

£1M EVERY YEAR

A message on the finances of the Hospice and why we need your help

The articles in this edition of the Raphaelite illustrate how vital the work of the Hospice is. On page 6, one of our patients, Morgan Slessor, describes the “rising importance of expressing what a Hospice really is” and he goes on to say that his experience has brought “love and respect" into his days alongside the reassurance that he is “in the very best of hands”.

I want to echo Morgan’s sense of this “rising importance” and relate it to the very practical and rising importance of how hospices are funded and the risk that this brings for the future. St Raphael’s, like most hospices, is a charity, it is not part of the NHS. The NHS actually only contributes around 25% towards the costs of running the Hospice, and those costs are rising...

Clinical + Fundraising Costs £4.8 million

£3.4 million raised from our supporters £1.4 million funded by NHS

In 2015 we needed £4.8m to run the Hospice. The impact of inflation alone has turned that £4.8m into £6m today, an increase of £1.2m. Meanwhile the NHS has only increased its funding by £200k. This means that we need to raise an extra £1m every year just to keep going, and there is always more that we would love to do.

The total of all our donations, given by many very generous supporters, has remained at about the same level since 2015, despite the increase in costs. We now need to redouble our efforts to raise the money that we need to be sustainable into the future.

In the Spring of 2023 we will launch a campaign that will highlight the importance of hospice services and explain that, for every £1 we receive from the NHS we need to raise £3 from the community that we serve. We will ask our community, the people of Merton and Sutton, to join with us in order to secure the Hospice for the long term.

This is where you come in!

If you are reading this note, then you are already aware of how vital our work is and you may already be one of our greatest supporters. Nonetheless, I want to appeal to you directly to help us kickstart this campaign to raise the extra £1m every year.

Clinical + Fundraising Costs £6 million £4.4 million to be raised from our supporters £1.6 million funded by NHS

On these pages we give twelve different ways in which you can get even more involved and every bit of support will help make the difference. I cannot overstate the importance of telling others about us and helping to raise money that way, or of joining our lottery and possibly winning a great prize, or of making a one-off gift. However, as we need to raise this extra £1m each and every year, setting up a regular donation is the very best way to join with us in partnership to meet and overcome the challenges we will face.

Please do give this some thought and, if you can, please act. There are links to our website throughout this newsletter where you can take these steps directly.

I want to end with the words that Lisa Bentley, who has worked with us for nearly 30 years and has recently completed her Nurse Associate training with distinction, uses on page 3:

“Thetruthis,havingagoodendingmeanseverything.Weall deservethebestcare.Thecomfortandpeacethatagoodending bringstoourlovedonesissomethingthat’slifelong,whichis whyweneedtobetheverybestwecanmakeit.”

- Nick Stevens, Joint CEO

ST RAPHAEL’S

As a charity, your support is crucial to the future of our Hospice. There are many ways you can get involved to help, no matter how big or small. Please see the different ways you can help below and pick the options that suit you best, or better yet, pick them all!

Make a regular donation, or increase one you have already set up – this is the best way to help us plan and budget into the future. If you are a tax payer, we can gift aid your donations and get 25% more each time.

Make a one-off donation – every penny counts and we rely on the generosity of those who give large and small one-off donations every year.

Provide for us in your will – we receive large and small legacies which amount to over £1.5m per year. As you can imagine, this is a vital source of income for us and so please consider adding St Raphael’s Hospice to your other beneficiaries.

Recycle your good quality items by donating them to our charity shops. Our shops are doing well because we get wonderful things from you all to sell.

Join our lottery or add more plays to your existing ones. This is your chance to win £1,000 per week (or more on a rollover!) and support this essential work at the same time.

Take part in a challenge event, like a cycle challenge or a skydive. The sponsorships you raise will help pay for our specialist doctors and nurses. If this is not your cup of tea, why not encourage a family member to take the plunge and you can sponsor them!

Join one of our Fundraising Groups and raise money in the community. You could put our collection boxes in all the local shops, or man a stall at a local fayre or market.

If there isn’t a group near you, perhaps you could gather some people around you and start a new one, we will help you! The next garden party could be yours!

Shop with us – support our charity shops by popping in for that dress, book or pair of shoes; send St Raphael’s Christmas cards to your friends and buy a calendar for your family.

Volunteer with us – alongside our vital Fundraiser Group volunteers, we have opportunities to support the Hospice in dozens of different ways from the gardens to the shops; from chatting with our inpatients to getting some shopping as a compassionate neighbour to someone in our community.

Spread the word! You can help raise our visibility by talking about us (or by tweeting and posting!) with your friends, family and neighbours, maybe they would also like to get involved in one of these many ways, they just need you to give them the idea.



@StRaphaelsHospice  @st.raphs  @St_Raphs

Get creative and think up new ways to support us. You could join Amazon Smile and we get a donation every time you shop! You could sell things on eBay and donate all or part of the proceeds to us; you could run a cake stall in your front garden! Every penny counts and helps us to be there.

I have been feeling the rising importance of expressing what a Hospice really is, as so many people do not know or want to know just yet. I would like to share my positive experience of St Raphael’s Hospice with others because it’s honestly remarkable. I thought I was coming to the Hospice to die but they have helped me to live. I recognise that people turn away from “Hospice-talk” as they fear it and think of it as a gloomy and sad place. I want people to know that if you do in fact require Hospice care in your life, your journey will become as wonderful as it possibly can. It is all about what goes on before the end, what happens in your final days that truly makes the difference.

I have been on the Inpatient Unit (IPU) of St Raphael’s, having been diagnosed with a terminal illness. I am a person who tells things as they are, so everything that I am sharing today is important to me. There are naturally ups and downs when you are sick but the downs are so well-managed in the hands of the very best.

My experience at St Raphael’s has helped me to begin my journey of understanding and acceptance. It has been a period of rest for me, clearing my mind about what the future may or may not bring. I didn’t realise at the start how important this time would be for me and my family. I don’t know how long I have left, none of us really do, yet this has been a humbling and levelling process in coming to terms with death with a lot of gratitude.

This Hospice is so much more than anything you can label.

Having been on the Inpatient Unit, I have had the opportunity to meet many staff and have access to many of the additional services they offer. Cathy, the Staff Nurse, has become like a mum to me. Yvie, from the Orangery Café, regularly checks on me and is always there to listen. As do all the staff. Sheila and the Wellbeing Centre team are truly fantastic and I enjoy my time with them in

their various sessions. I am a part of their Men’s Den on Thursdays and we always have a laugh. I have endured spells of short-term memory loss at the hands of my illness, so Sheila goes out of her way to find me before these sessions, in case I have forgotten and would like to join. I have seen that everyone at St Raphael’s works there because they really want to – you can see it in the way they treat each individual patient with such care. It is natural for them to go above and beyond for everyone. In fact, it’s extraordinary. When you are the one who is ill, these are the things that bring a lot of love and respect into your days, knowing that you are not a burden.

I wish for everyone living with illness to have the same dignified experience and exceptional standard of care.

The professional staff are all incredibly skilled, they have seen and done it all and everything is handled with a lot of attention. I can only imagine how busy they are yet I am made to feel special and important. They make time to chat and laugh with me every day. You can talk to them about anything and they stop to really listen. Everyone from the nurses, to the volunteers, to the grass cutters on the grounds, are all wonderful to me and my family. They have made us feel loved and that we matter, not just once or twice but every single day. We have a beautiful autistic 13-year-old daughter, our Charlotte, and this level of care has been vital to our family life. You would never think it but St Raphael’s has become a home from home.

I am now well enough to be discharged to head home, still under the care of St Raphael’s. Their care has given me more precious time. When my last days approach, I hope to be back on Hospice grounds,

where I know that I will be comfortable, safe and in the very best hands to ease me through.

You can live your whole life thinking that a Hospice isn’t a place that you would want to end up in. It was not until I stayed in a Hospice, receiving end-of-life care, that I realised that this is the exact place you would hope to be in your final days.

•••

Morgan, a skilled wordsmith and linguistics graduate, has a penchant for creating witty sayings. He has written over 350 unique quotes to date, which his family hope to put together into a book to be able to page through for years to come.

When asked which proverb Morgan felt most connected to at this very moment in time, he shared a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, one that he first recited to his wife 17 years ago –

“Yesterdayishistory.Tomorrowisa mystery. Andtoday?Todayisagift. That'swhywecallitthepresent.”

“THIS

IS SO MUCH MORE THAN ANYTHING YOU CAN LABEL”

SHOP FROM ONE OF OUR 10 CHARITY

STORES IN MERTON AND SUTTON

FILL YOUR STOCKINGS SUSTAINABLY THIS CHRISTMAS!

It is said that globally, we consume 80 billion pieces of clothing each year. As Fashion Designer Patrick Grant stated, “we have enough clothing on the planet right now to clothe the next 6 generations of the human race: we have to find ways of using what we’ve got.”

With Christmas fast approaching, there is no better time to save your purse and the planet. Many are opting to purchase pre-loved items and support sustainable shopping practices – choosing to reduce, reuse and recycle. Over the course of the year, we have sold approximately 161,000 pre-loved items. We are adding to our 10 charity shops, with another boutique style store in Wimbledon Park. We hope to open our doors at 5 Leopold Road on 1 December. As with all our stores it will be filled with fantastic finds and bargains. But like every charity we rely totally on your generosity donating items that you no longer need. If you are a UK taxpayer, you can increase the value of your gift by 25% at no extra cost to you, simply by signing up to the Gift Aid scheme. Our retail donors raised an additional £44,584 for us in Gift Aid last year alone. You can find out how to donate by visiting our website or by calling our Supporter Care team on 020 8254 2450.

How to start a Compassionate Neighbours Project

We would not be able to open our doors if it weren’t for our incredible team of volunteers. They help serve our customers, keep our shops full and looking lovely. We could do so much more if we could increase the team. If you have as little as four hours a week to spare, an interest in fashion, like to meet people and make friends, we would love to hear from you Please visit www.straphaels.org.uk/about-volunteering for volunteering opportunities. See map to find your nearest store.

Compassionate Neighbours

Compassionate Neighbours is a community-led social movement, provided by volunteers, which gives social and emotional support to local people towards the end of their life due to age or illness. This initiative offers friendship and a listening ear to those who may be lonely, at risk of isolation or would like to make a new friend. Compassionate Neighbours builds caring communities and matches local people based on their personalities, shared interests and experiences. This can be through 1-2-1 catch-ups, by telephone or through social groups.

In January 2023, we will transition from Hospice Neighbours and launch the

We would like to introduce you to one of our steadfast Hospice Neighbours, Jan Jolley –

“I have been a Hospice Neighbour to a person in the community for 5 years. He recently passed away, quite suddenly, and since his passing I have been taking the time to reflect on the privilege of this companionship. This is a story about an unlikely friendship. Two people who would most likely never have met or been friends if circumstances were any different. An irreplaceable friendship that I am so thankful to have gained.

I signed up to become a volunteer Hospice Neighbour through St Raphael’s in 2016. I wanted to offer support to someone who may have needed a bit of company and care in the community – I could never have imagined being matched with the particular person I had been matched with. We were very different people but it led to a wonderful friendship between us. Ben (name altered for article) was a bit hardened by life and didn’t have the warmth of family friendships to ease his load. He was a real character though, and the more I got to know him, the more we understood each other and appreciated our time together. I always received a beaming smile from Ben whenever we met. A smile I will never forget. His illness had broken his spirit and he became quite isolated in the last 2 years of his life, particularly through the pandemic and lockdowns. Ben worked in construction all of his life, and his diagnosis was a real bombshell for him.

He was a hard worker and very suddenly his life changed and he was no longer able to work. He lost his identity through this life change. When the pandemic hit, the isolation had a massive knock-on effect for Ben, culminating into daily panic attacks, which affected his confidence all the more. When we first met, he used to sit on a garden bench outside, but this too eventually stopped. Ben hated phone calls so our face to face visits were hugely important. Thankfully, with permission, I was able to continue my visits while social distancing.

For the past 5 years, I visited Ben for around 2 hours every Monday. This routine was comforting for him, knowing he could trust in my visits and companionship. I would help where I could with a bit of housework and everyday things, picking up a few groceries or things he fancied. He loved a latte and burger with lots of onions! He didn’t enjoy anything too healthy!

When I first signed up for this, I was thinking about the good I could do for someone in need. I never realised how much it would give me in return, through such a wonderful friendship with Ben."

Compassionate Neighbours Project at St Raphael’s.

who holds the record for the longest-standing support to a patient.

Jan Jolley, Volunteer