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Special Pull Out Bridal Guide Say Yes!

April 2012 Priceless www.sasee.com

Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place. – Zora Neale Hurston


CHILD SAFETY SEAT CHECK APRIL 24, JUNE 26, AUG. 28, 2012 from 3 - 6 pm at the Myrtle Beach Kohl’s • Safe Kids certified child safety seat technicians will check proper installation of child safety seats, correct those in need and educate on proper installation and use. • Participants must have both child safety seat and child present. Expecting parents, please bring seat. • The technician will determine if a new child safety seat is needed. If so, 1 per family is available while supplies last. • Rain cancels event.

For more information, please call Safe Kids Pee Dee/Coastal led by McLeod Health at 843-777-2592.

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Any decision about your health is important. Which is why you can rely on McLeod to consistently deliver compassionate, leading-edge health care. Recognized nationally for its leadership and innovation in quality, safety and commitment to patient-centered care, McLeod is dedicated to serving patients wherever they live or work. Our experience, knowledge and access to technology is unsurpassed locally, ensuring that we remain your most trusted and capable choice for medical excellence. Choose Wisely.

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featured articles

8 10 12 24 26 30 34 36 38 40

April 2012 Volume 11, Issue 4

who’s who

We Don’t Always Get What We Want by Lynn Obermoeller

Rain on my Wedding Day by Melissa Face

Fearless

by Margaret Bishop

Southern Snaps by Leslie Moore

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Special Pull Out Bridal Guide

Tightening the Knot by Maura Troy

Say Yes!

He Married Me Twice by Linda O’Connell

8 Honeymoon Dos and Don’ts by Janey Womeldorf

Publisher Delores Blount Sales & Marketing Director Susan Bryant Editor Leslie Moore Account Executives Amanda Kennedy-Colie Erica Schneider Celia Wester Art Director Taylor Nelson Photography Director Patrick Sullivan Graphic Artist Scott Konradt Accounting Bart Buie CPA, P.A. Administrative Assistant Barbara J. Leonard Executive Publishers Jim Creel Bill Hennecy Tom Rogers

The Yes-Man by Pam Hawley

Mama Bird’s Egg Custard by Kim Seeley

DNA Stands for “Does Not Apply,” Well, Maybe… by Diane Stark

PO Box 1389 Murrells Inlet, SC 29576 fax 843-626-6452 • phone 843-626-8911 www.sasee.com • info@sasee.com

I n T h is I ssue Read It! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 Women & Men Who Mean Business . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42 Rocking Chair Renegade . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45 Scoop on the Strand . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46

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Sasee is published monthly and distributed free along the Grand Strand. For subscription info, see page 41. Letters to the editor are welcome, but could be edited for length. Submissions of articles and art are welcome. Visit our website for details on submission. Sasee is a Strand Media Group, Inc. publication.

Copyright © 2012. All rights reserved. Reproduction of any material, in part or in whole, prepared by Strand Media Group, Inc. and appearing within this publication is strictly prohibited. Title “Sasee” is registered with the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office.


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contributing writers Margaret Bishop and her husband, Matt, reside in Camden, South Carolina, with their three children, David, Olivia and Thomas. Margaret is a full-time, stay-at-home mom and an occasional freelance writer. Melissa Face lives in Virginia with her husband, son and dog. Her stories and essays have appeared in Chicken Soup for the Soul and Cup of Comfort. E-mail Melissa at writermsface@yahoo.com.

letter from the editor In this month’s “Women & Men Who Mean Business” feature, I asked business owners to tell me their favorite Easter or Passover memory. After hearing all the wonderful stories they had to tell, I thought about my own celebrations. I come from a traditional Southern home, and church was always a big part of our Easter celebration, but waking up on Easter morning, knowing the Easter Bunny had come was almost as much fun as Christmas. The day before Easter was spent dyeing Easter eggs, and, to this day, I still love swirling hard-boiled eggs through little cups of dye until they are the perfect shade of yellow or blue. These days, Easter is much more sedate, spent visiting with family and enjoying Grandma’s perfect potato salad, but it is still one of my favorite holidays. April is also the month Sasee celebrates weddings, and I know you’re going to enjoy reading the wonderful essays submitted by our talented writers. I believe this issue is best read on the porch, enjoying our delightful spring weather, with a glass of something cold by your side. I would love to see a photo of you reading this issue in your perfect spot – you might just be published in an upcoming Sasee!

A native South Carolinian, Lisa Hamilton is the director of the First Presbyterian Church Preschool and Kindergarten. Of course she loves reading, but also finds time for cooking and walking her dog, Hurley. Pam Hawley is a humor and short fiction writer from Baltimore, Maryland. Her work has appeared in “eFiction Magazine,” The Spirit of Poe Anthology, and will be included in Chicken Soup for the Soul: Here Comes the Bride due out in May 2012. She also blogs at hawleyville.wordpress.com. Lynn Obermoeller is an author of articles and essays. She resides in St. Louis, Missouri, where she is a member of St. Louis Writers Guild and Saturday Writers. Find Lynn at lynnobermoeller.blogspot.com. Linda O’Connell is a preschool teacher and freelance writer from St. Louis, Missouri. As Linda waltzed through the decades, she discovered her age of elegance was in her forties, but she isn’t complaining. Linda resides in the Midwest but her heart and soul hang out at the beach.

Happy Spring,

cover artist Wildberry Farm, by Chiara Rizzo-Hansen Chiara Rizzo-Hansen was born and raised in Padova, Italy, and studied at Venice’s Academy of Art and Design. At the age of 17 she began painting and showing her work. The artist moved to Myrtle Beach in 1984 and was hired as an interior designer at Rose Arbor Fabrics in 1995. In 2002 she started CRH Interior Designs Inc., located inside Rose Arbor Fabrics. Chiara’s work has been featured in Home Style Magazine, Carolina Business Journal, Myrtle Beach Herald and others. She was nominated Interior Designer of the Year by the Myrtle Beach Herald’s Reader’s Choice Awards in 2004-2005 and won Carolina Forest Chronicle’s Reader’s Choice Award in 2011. Along with her busy Interior Designer schedule, Chiara continues to accept commissions for original works of art. Her work can be viewed at Villa Romana Restaurant, The Little White Dress, and at her studio by appointment. Contact the artist at Rizdesign@aol.com, www.crhinteriordesigns.com or 843-446-2832.

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Kim Seeley lives with her husband, Wayne, in Wakefield, Virginia. She has just published her first national article in the new volume of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series entitled, “What I Learned from the Dog.” Diane Stark is a former teacher turned stay-at-home mom and freelance writer. Her work has been published in 16 Chicken Soup for the Soul anthologies, A Cup of Comfort for Christian Women and dozens of magazines. She loves to write about the important things in life: her family and her faith. She can be reached at DianeStark19@yahoo.com. Maura Troy lives in Connecticut and is president of her local chapter of Romance Writers of America. She enjoys writing, knitting and hiking, and is currently working on a novel of romantic suspense. Visit Maura on her website at mauratroy.com Janey Womeldorf is a freelance writer who thrives on writing about the humorous, the poignant, and the continually-surprising sides of everyday life. She drinks too much coffee and scribbles away in Memphis, Tennessee.


We Don’t Always Get What

We Want by Lynn Obermoeller

The black-eyed Susan is my favorite flower. The deep golden yellow intensified by its dark brown center begs for attention. The blossom’s droopy, pouting nature cries out, “Look at me! See my beauty.” In my previous home, these golden wonders multiplied in the sunny part of the front of the house. When I moved, the first thing on my list was to plant black-eyed Susans in the sunny part of my new yard. I just knew they’d take off, multiply, and I’d have a hill of black-eyed Susans. But every year, they’d dry up before the season was over and the following year, they wouldn’t show their face. After doing this for several years, I finally gave up and took pleasure in all of the other beautiful varieties of perennials that grew in my yard. Nothing seemed to bring joy to my heart like the sunny black-eyed Susan. Then one year while tending to the back yard of mostly shady plants, I saw a mounded clump of leaves that seemed to pop up out of nowhere. A weed, I thought. What else would grow so fast and look so good? I started to pull it, but remembered my sister’s advice: it’s only a weed if you want it to be. I liked how the leaf looked and left it alone. This prevented me from planting something else since the asters nearby had also met their end. I noticed another

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clump in between the boulders in a small section of ground near the water’s edge. The lime green creeping Jenny invaded this area, so this cluster of darker green made a nice contrast. As the heat set in and some plants started to find their way back into the ground, I noticed my weed had buds. I clapped my hands and wondered what kind of flower might bloom. Now I was really glad that I didn’t pull that so-called weed. The next time I looked after the garden, much to my surprise and delight, there it sat, pouting proud – the black-eyed Susan. Stunned, I stood there and felt my heart open a little wider. The plant flowered for the remainder of the season. Every time I stepped outside, gratitude washed over me. I learned a valuable lesson in the process – it’s not necessary to try and force something – whether it’s a plant to grow or for a child or anyone to do what you want, but to let nature take its course. If there is something I think I need and if I truly need it, it will be given to me in God’s time – in the natural scheme of things. So when I’m having trouble growing something, I just surrender because I never know what gift may pop up!

april


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Rain on my I Wedding Day by Melissa Face

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woke up and looked out the window. It was cloudy; but so far, nothing was falling. Conversation from my bridal shower replayed in my head. “It’s bad luck if it rains on your wedding day,” a friend said. “Nonsense,” another guest argued. “A rainy wedding day is good luck.” Good luck or bad, I wasn’t going to obsess about the weather. In fact, I promised myself months earlier that aside from my cake crashing to the floor, I would not allow anything to tarnish my special day. I threw on some old clothes, laced up my running shoes, and went for a jog around my neighborhood. When I returned, I ate French toast for breakfast while my dad had his cereal. We chatted about the day’s upcoming events and about how my fiancé might be spending his day with his groomsmen. Then, it was time to get moving. My mom checked on the decorations at the ceremony and reception sites while I went to my hair appointment. By the time my hair and make-up were done, I needed to go to the church to get dressed. My bridesmaids and I dressed together and made sure everything was in order before the big moment. When it was time, my dad took my arm and led me down the aisle. I gazed at the crowd of wonderful people who came to support us, and then I bit my lip so I wouldn’t cry in front of all of them. We rounded the corner, and I locked eyes with my fiancé. He looked genuinely thrilled to see me, and I felt I couldn’t get to him fast enough. Our ceremony was traditional and special. We lit candles for those who couldn’t be with us, and we lit another as a symbol of our new union. Finally, we were pronounced husband and wife. I remember a warm and wonderful feeling when we walked down the aisle together as life partners. Everyone in the congregation applauded and seemed truly happy for us. Following the ceremony, we took a few pictures of our families and tried our best to recap some of the special moments from the service. We had no problem smiling, posing with our rings or recreating our kiss. We gathered our belongings to head to the reception site. “Don’t forget your umbrella,” my dad said. “I’ll pull the car to the back door so your dress won’t get wet.” I was surprised to see all the puddles when I walked outside. Everything around us was drenched, and I hadn’t even noticed it had been raining. It rained throughout my entire wedding. It drizzled as I walked down the aisle, it rained steadily as we said our vows, and it poured while we drove to our reception. I hiked up my dress and jumped over puddles when I got out of our car. Then, it rained harder. It poured during dinner, while we danced and as we ate our cake. Seven years have passed since my special day. Every now and then, people ask me what I think it means when it rains on your wedding day. I tell them, “It means you might get wet.” And that really is all that it means. In terms of weather, there is no good luck or bad luck. And if you are enjoying your wedding as much as I was, you probably won’t even notice.

april


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Fearless by Margaret Bishop

This year, my daughter began a rite of passage for thousands of young girls across the country. She became a Girl Scout! Along with this honor, she also was tasked with the important responsibility of selling Girl Scout cookies, and boy, did she take her responsibility seriously. When she attended her troop cookie training, she came home with two pages of notes of all the things she needed to do to ensure a successful sale. “Ask only people that you know; never sell cookies alone without an adult; give a Girl Scout smile and say thank you!” Armed with that information, she was ready for business. On the opening day of cookie sales, she was so excited that she could hardly stand to wait until 10 am – the time that I had designated as acceptable to ring our neighbors’ doorbells. When the appointed hour arrived, she was out the door and literally running down the street to sell to our closest friends. As expected, they were enthusiastic buyers, and from that point, nothing could slow her down. While selling to the family of one of her younger friends, she was invited over for a play date, but no thanks, she had more customers to approach and preferred to tag along on my errands. Along the way, we decided to pick up lunch to bring home, and naturally, she wanted to know if she could approach the restaurant employees with her cookie sheets. “I don’t think that’s appropriate,” I replied and tucked the sheet under my arm for safekeeping. Imagine her satisfaction when the restaurant owner noticed the sheet and asked that we come back at a slower time, so that they could make purchases. Why on earth would I think that anyone would not be interested in buying cookies? Shows how much moms know! When we went back to the restaurant, the owner shook her hand and invited my daughter to sit down with her as everyone placed their orders. She treated her with such professional courtesy – one businesswoman to another – that I, too, began to wonder where my reticence came from in trying to direct whom she could or could not approach. My daughter had started her cookie sale with a strong belief in her product and in her own ability to be successful. She wasn’t weighted down by the fears of rejection or presumptions that rattled around my 37 year old brain. She was fearless! After selling almost 90 boxes in her first day out, she was satisfied with a job well done and was at home playing with her babysitter and brothers when the phone apparently rang with more orders. I looked at her cookie sheet on the counter confusedly when I returned home and asked from where the additional orders (written in a 2nd grader’s hand) had come. Casually, she replied, “Oh, Mrs. Michele from the restaurant called. There were more people that wanted to order cookies.” I looked questioningly at my teenage babysitter who shrugged. “She said that she had an important call.” When my daughter started her cookie sale, I subconsciously tried to direct her to the easiest route. I only offered to drive her to friends and family that I knew would buy; people that I knew wouldn’t mind; people that I knew would not reject her offerings or crush her enthusiasm. I didn’t want her to experience rejection, but in trying to protect her, I almost let her miss out on the wonderful feeling that comes from unqualified success, from giving something your all and being rewarded with a “yes!” Thank you, Mrs. Michele, and thank you my fearless daughter, for reminding me that giving it your all is always worth it!

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The lovely ladies at Litchfield Books assured me The Time In Between, by Maria Duenas is a great read and they were right! This very well researched historical novel of fiction that travels from Madrid to Morocco to Portugal and back again will keep you captivated and intrigued to the bitter end. Sira Quiroga is a seemingly ordinary girl who is following in her mother’s footsteps as a seamstress, content to marry a local boyfriend and live out her mediocre life in a common neighborhood in Madrid at the onset of the Spanish Civil War. That is until she meets the cosmopolitan Ramiro who sweeps her off her feet and into an exciting life that lands them in the beautiful Northern African april


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country of Morocco. As Sira’s unexpected inheritance is stolen by Ramiro, she is also left alone, pregnant, and in severe legal trouble in the streets of the city. With determination and some help from the most unlikely of characters, Sira reinvents herself with skills taught by her mother years before. Duenas masterfully recreates the fabrics and fashions of the 1930s and 40s and makes you think you can actually feel and see the craftsmanship unfolding before your eyes. As Sira’s business grows, so does the demand for her talent. From the aristocratic women in prewar Europe, to the Nazi officer’s wives, Sira rediscovers herself in ways that would make her family and country proud. The Time In Between is a satisfying novel of historical fiction the reader will enjoy, and from it will learn a great deal about Spain in a time of civil unrest just before WWII. Duenas writes with detailed descriptions of wonderful characters and glamorous fashions. A beautiful story.

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Image provided by Chiara Rizzo-Hansen

April 2012

Say

Yes!


Bridal Guide

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Say Yes! Bridal Guide

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Bridal Guide

Say Yes! Keep it simple

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Specializing in Gently Used “Fine” Furniture and New “Closeout” Furniture Pieces from High End Stores. Quality Home Decor, Rugs, Boutique Clothing and Jewelry all arriving daily! All at great prices!

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Say Yes! Bridal Guide

Bridal Gown Portraits

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Shops at Oak Lea 11096 Ocean Highway Pawleys Island, SC 29585 (843) 237-8080 www.eleanorpitts.com

Black and White Pencil with Watercolor Background Acrylic on Canvas or Collages on Canvas

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For a unique & memorable wedding Ripley’s Aquarium has it all. Our experienced staff will help you with all the details – from menu planning and decorations, to seating, floral arrangements and entertainment. We can accommodate intimate dinners, seated galas or strolling cocktail parties. Call us today to find out how we can help make your special day one you’ll never forget. • Bridal Showers • Bridal Luncheons

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Bridal Guide

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Say Yes! Bridal Guide

THE CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE SYMBOL® The Holy Cross proclaims your faith. Interlocking circles celebrate your marriage. Three beautiful diamonds represent your past, present and future! Many styles available to fit your personality!

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Bridal Guide

Say Yes!

Southern Snaps Two April Weddings by Leslie Moore

Two couples were married in April: Sixty-three years apart. Much about their lives is very different, but the love they share is unchanged by the passage of time. The first boy met the first girl, and they fell in love. He asked, and she said yes. Thus began their life together. The boy was handsome, just out of the Navy. He bought a Harley Davidson motorcycle and was driving it home from Conway to Little River when he spotted her on the side of the road, talking with a group of girls. Sweet sixteen, pretty and perfect in his eyes, it was love at first sight. They were married two weeks before she turned 17. That was 64 years ago this month. The boy was Merlin Bellamy, well-known as the North Myrtle Beach Police Chief for many years, and his love for his wife, Joyce, has been the guiding force of his life. “The pride of my life is my wife,” said Mr. Bellamy while we visited in Myrtle Beach Manor where he was a patient. [Mr. Bellamy has since returned home.] “I saw her that day when I was coming home from Conway on my motorcycle, and knew I had to have her as my wife.” Young Merlin’s family attended the same church as Joyce’s, and he asked his sister to bring that “Hunt girl” home for dinner after church so he could begin his campaign to win her heart. Unfortunately, his sister brought home the wrong Hunt sister! “She was such a beauty, I knew I had to act fast or someone else would snap her up,” Mr. Bellamy remembered. “After my sister brought home the wrong girl, I started hanging around my cousin’s store on Hwy. 90 because it was across the street from her house.” Fortunately for this love sick

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young man, Joyce felt the same way, and he began visiting her at home. “They used to laugh and say that Joyce’s father had to sweep me off the steps at night to get rid of me,” he said laughing. The couple were soon married and settled in Little River to begin their life together, raising a daughter and a son, and now have five grandchildren and three great-grandchildren. Mr. Bellamy began his career in law enforcement as a Special Deputy Sheriff in Horry County, serving the Ocean Drive area. When North Myrtle Beach incorporated, he became the new city’s first police chief, serving until his retirement in the 1970s. Today he is still known by many as simply, “Chief.” “I never had to shoot anyone,” said Chief Bellamy. “I was cautious about what I said and was always making new friends. I didn’t want to give anyone a record if it was not necessary.” Chief Bellamy was loved and respected by his community, but became a true hero on October 14, 1954. “That day, I received a call from a weather forecaster in Charleston. He asked if I knew that Hurricane Hazel was coming our way and would hit North Myrtle Beach at around 8 o’clock the next morning. Until that phone call, we all thought the storm was going to pass out to sea and leave us mostly unscathed.” This courageous man immediately recruited local firefighters, and the group began going house to house, evacuating the entire town. Through Chief Bellamy’s efforts, many lives were saved. “My siren blared all night while we knocked on doors. I didn’t lose anyone under my jurisdiction.” Hurricane Hazel leveled the Grand Strand and, years later, Chief Merlin Bellamy would again tell his story on national television when he was featured on The Weather Channel’s “Storm Stories.” Through it all, Joyce was by his side, raising their family and making a home. “I don’t believe we’ve ever had a really bad argument,” Mr. Bellamy said, glancing at his wife who nodded her agreement with a smile. “We lived together in unity.”

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Kevin Te achey of Gene Ho Photogra phy

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Bridal Guide

After Hurricane Hazel, Chief Bellamy tried to learn everything about hurricane preparedness and it became a family tradition to keep up with storms. “After Hazel, I started helping the weather bureau and gave hurricane preparedness talks with Diane DeVaughn Stokes. “We spoke all over the community, and I enjoyed knowing I was helping save lives.” A talented musician, Mr. Bellamy played guitar and harmonica for many area square dances, and he and a group of friends would get together in his garage on Friday nights to pick and sing bluegrass tunes, eventually recording several CDs. He remembers well the first song he played for his beloved Joyce, “My Filipino Baby.” Merlin Bellamy’s love for his wife has remained strong. “I’ve never been sorry I married Joyce and have never seen another lady I wanted,” he began. “The secret to a good marriage is love – without love you’re in trouble. If God said I could have another life, I’d say let’s keep it the way it is. I’m proud of my past.” ••• Fast forward to the 21st century and love blooms for another young couple. Their lives are very different from the Bellamy’s, but the love is much the same – cute boy knows pretty girl for years, a spark ignites, boy asks, girl says yes and two lives are joined together. “I knew Jewell growing up,” began O’Neil McCoy, General Manager of Broadway at the Beach. “Our best friends are brother and sister, and they set the whole thing in motion.” Both Myrtle Beach natives, O’Neil and Jewell McCoy might have never gotten together if not for some behind the scenes intervention by their friends. “I’m six years older than Jewell, and she was in her senior year at USC. I had already finished my graduate work at Clemson and had just ended a relationship. I told myself I was just going to date and have fun – famous last words.” Love will have its way. O’Neil had always thought Jewell was cute, but didn’t know she was interested until he heard she might have a crush on him. “I decided to call her out of the blue at school. It was the most awkward conversation you can imagine. I had written an outline with bullet points so I wouldn’t forget what I wanted to say – but she still agreed to go out with me,” he said laughing. After that first date in January of 2009, O’Neil knew he wouldn’t be “just dating” Jewell. “She graduated in May and moved back home to work at South Atlantic Bank. I never dated anyone else,” O’Neil

said. In May, 2010, O’Neil and Jewell took his niece and nephew, who call him “Uncle No No,” to the beach to collect shells. Later, O’Neil’s nephew confided that he wanted to surprise Jewell with a necklace made from the shells. “I told Jewell about the necklace – we both thought it was adorable. What Jewell didn’t know was that I had decided to propose to her during our upcoming trip to the Bahamas. The kids made a box and decorated it with seashells. Inside the box was a shell necklace that I had made, and on the lid was written ‘Will you marry No No?’ I taped the ring on the last ‘O.’” Jewell said yes, and the couple came back from their vacation excited to begin planning their wedding. “We wanted a small wedding with just our family and close friends,” said O’Neil. “We looked at several destinations, but chose Bald Head Island, a small island located off the southeastern shore of North Carolina that is only accessible by boat or ferry.” The big day was planned for April 9, 2011, and everything went off without a hitch. “All I cared about was delicious food and a great band. Jewell and her mom planned everything else. I am the outgoing one, and Jewell is somewhat reserved. I thought she would have a hard time being the center of attention, but it turned out that she was calm and collected, and I was a total wreck!” After a honeymoon in Jamaica, the McCoy’s returned to Myrtle Beach and moved into O’Neil’s condo. Their first year of marriage has been good. “We cook together a lot; Jewell has become a great cook,” began O’Neil. “And we ride bikes together. We don’t take advantage of the beach as much as I would like, but that’s true of many locals I think.” O’Neil and Jewell are surrounded by family living in the area, including both sets of parents. The family is very close and spends a lot of time together. Jewell has left banking and gone back to school for her Masters in Counseling. “It’s been a fun first year of marriage, said O’Neil with a big smile. “We like each other – I married my best friend.”


Say Yes!

Bridal Guide

Knot Ti g h t e n i n g t h e by Maura Troy

My husband never married me. That’s okay since I never married him, either. But he is my husband, and I am his wife. We have been together for twenty-five years, and I can’t imagine my life with anyone else. So why not actually tie the knot?

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I jokingly tell anyone who asks me that question that marriage is a very serious step, and we want to be absolutely certain before we take the plunge. But that is, indeed, just a joke. He’s the one for me, and I know his feelings on the matter are reciprocal. It has never been a question of doubting our love for one another. The honest answer is neither he nor I see any pressing reason to make our relationship “official.” I suppose there might be some financial advantage to filing our taxes jointly, but I’m not even one hundred percent sure if that would work for us or against us. And as we are getting older, I do think about things like whether or not we have a legal voice regarding each other’s treatment in medical emergencies. Neither of those sound like very romantic reasons to get married, do they? But they are practical ones, and I suppose we should start considering them more than just in passing. Still, we are very happy as we are. It’s never been something either of us has worried about. I’m sure I thought about it a lot more when I was younger. I most definitely had my fair share of daydreams of having a big, beautiful wedding, complete with a gorgeous white dress and a little plastic Maura and Larry on top of a multi-tiered, butter-cream frosted wedding cake. We still consider doing it now and then. But I’ll confess, sometimes my motives are far more mercenary than romantic. Heck, having a wedding might be worth it for the chance at registering for gifts alone. Imagine, all those people going to Williams-Sonoma to buy all the stuff on my wish list! Sigh. Over the years, there have been a lot of people who have told us we must get married. That having a wedding and standing up in front of all of our family and friends to declare our love and commitment will make a difference, will prove we really want to be with each other. Seeing as how my husband and I have lasted longer than many couples who have had an actual wedding, I can’t quite bring myself to believe that argument. “Aren’t you worried he could just walk out and leave you?” That’s another question I’ve been asked many times. I’ve never quite understood it. “Spouses leave each other all the time. Having a wedding doesn’t stop them,” I respond. “Yes, but if you’re married, it’s not that easy to just walk away. There’s work involved. It costs money to get divorced.” I must say, this argument always has me scratching my head. I wonder if the folks who have presented it would really be happy if they were ever to discover their partner stayed with them only because they were the lesser of two evils, not to mention being the cheaper evil. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not anti-marriage, and I love going to weddings. Sharing the joy of a couple as they vow to spend the rest of their lives together is a wonderful experience. And I know full well how little girls long for their own big day. Believe me, I, too, fastened a white towel on my head and took those sliding yet halting steps down the long hallway of my childhood home, clutching a bouquet of dandelions plucked from the backyard. But as the years have gone by, and my relationship with my husband has grown deeper and deeper, not having an actual wedding anniversary to celebrate has long since ceased to cause any pangs of regret. My crystal ball is on the blink, so I can’t say for sure if I’m ever going to get to wear a real veil and walk down the aisle carrying a real bouquet. It’s always a possibility. But if I don’t, I’m okay with that, too. Larry and I will just continue to tighten our own special knot.

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wice T

He Married Me

by Linda O’Connell

Most brides-to-be plan every detail of their weddings and consider their grooms their “prize.” I didn’t have to plan a single thing because I won the grand prize! On a whim, I entered my favorite local radio station’s Valentine’s Day contest. I penned new lyrics to an old song about my fiancé. Two weeks after sending my entry off, I tuned in as I headed to work and listened to the disc jockey announce the winners. I screamed when I heard my name announced. The driver next to me yelled too and asked if I needed help. I shook my head and laughed hysterically. The poor woman must have thought I was a lunatic not a bride-to-be. I arrived at school with my mascara running from tears of joy. I took the steps two at a time and ran into my classroom. I frightened my students when I hockey-yelled to my teacher’s aide, “Guess what? I’m getting married!” “I know,” she said, and reminded me that my wedding was still two months away. “No, you don’t understand. I just won a contest. I won a complete wedding package.” “Does Bill know?” she asked. “Well, he knows we have a small wedding and reception planned in April. I guess I should tell him that we’re moving the date up, and there will be a few more people on the guest list.” I shuffle-danced and giggled nervously. Then I telephoned my intended at work. “Honey, take off early and meet me at home. We have to get to the court house before five o’clock.” “Why? What happened?” He was genuinely confused. “We need to apply for our marriage license.” I was so giddy he could hear it in my voice. “Honey, calm down, we have plenty of time, two months.” “Hurry home; we don’t have as much time as you think. We’re getting married next week! So tell your boss you need Valentine’s Day off. I just won a complete wedding package from our local radio station.” I listed all the things I’d won: matching wedding bands, his tuxedo, my flowers, a complete reception and hotel room. “And honey, we’re getting married on the air.” “In the air? What do you mean? You want to get married in a

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hot air balloon? Where did you win this wedding?” “Not IN the air, ON the air. It will be a huge media event.” Once again, I told him about all of the things I had won. What I didn’t tell him was that ninety-seven other couples also won the exact same wedding package, and our mass marriage was going to be aired in its entirety on the radio station, the one that had “98” in its call letters. Late that afternoon, we drove to the county court house. I sang my winning ditty to my honey as he weaved his way through rush hour traffic. I don’t know if it was the lyrics, my singing would make Simon Cowell cringe, or the lack of a nearby parking space that made him frown. On the way home, with our wedding license in hand, I asked if he was happy about getting married again, since we’d both been in previous long term marriages and divorced for a few years. He assured me he was thrilled and mentioned that he hoped our marriage would be the final one. Then it hit him. “Uh, you don’t mean, we’ll have to do this again in April as planned?” I smiled sweetly and shook my head affirmatively. Imagine ninety-eight happy-beyond-belief brides of all ages in gowns and as many harried tuxedoed grooms standing side by side at 9 am on February 14th in a grand ballroom. Simultaneously we spoke our vows, too blinded by news cameras to see our partner’s eyes. At the conclusion of the ceremony and the traditional kiss, grooms wrapped their brides in their arms and we swayed to “our” wedding song. My step-daughter videotaped the event from a balcony with a very shaky hand. Later as family members gathered to view it, my four year old granddaughter tilted her head this way and that as she watched the jerky film. She said, “Wow, Nana, I did not know that there was an earthquake at your wedding.” The earth did move for me and ninety-seven other couples that day, and I have been dancing with my big guy ever since. At age fortyfour I married my best friend, a man who taught me in middle age how to dance, love completely, and trust at long last. And two months later, we repeated our vows in a small ceremony before family and friends. He married me twice.

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Honeymoon

8

Do s a n d Do n’ts by Janey Womeldorf

If people took their honeymoon before they got married, would they still get married? The problem is, one unavoidable reality lurks beneath the picture-postcard ideal they have in their minds: When you spend every claustrophobic moment of every blissful day in the company of your beloved, whether you like it or not, each other’s quirks and flaws will rise to the surface like enemy torpedoes. Welcome to the magical, vertical learning curve we call marriage, and what better place to start that journey of love than on vacation. Yes, that weeklong celebration of laughter and love guaranteed to unite couples and bond families – nothing tests a couple’s patience or tolerance like it. Even decadesmarried couples can crack under the pressure. Blinded by love and anxious to christen their new life together, the happy lovebirds giggle with dreamy excitement about their long-awaited trip. Practical clothing has no place on this vacation, and eye-candy outfits bulge from their pristine suitcases. As they fly off into the sunset, visions of togetherness, laughter and harmony warm their hearts. They don’t need rose-tinted sunglasses; tension, sulking and miscommunication will not happen on their honeymoon. Their love will conquer all. For extra fireworks, they embark on this eye-opening, joyous adventure into togetherness by obtaining passports they fear daily of losing, staying in a city they don’t know, using a currency they can’t calculate, surrounded by a language they don’t understand, and eating food they can’t pronounce and will later discover does not agree with them. But all of this pales in comparison to their ultimate challenge: Sharing the same bathroom for the first time ever. Is that the smell of romance in the air? Do not fear, tropical sunshine awaits at the end of that love tunnel. Whether you are a future honeymooner or a married old timer, here are some basic dos and don’ts for vacation success. 1 . M a k e U p. Men don’t realize how much “stuff” it takes to look good. As you start unloading your collection of pink, dusty make up, he may go into shock. Don’t elevate his angst by relegating his razor and deodorant to the far corner of available space while you recreate the make-up counter at Macy’s in your bathroom. 2 . G e t t i n g R e a d y. He will try not to get impatient but will fail. The truth is, men just don’t understand what takes us so long. He will crack. Train yourself to notice the signs – loud huffing while he looks at his watch, taking his shoes back off or switching the TV’s romantic-music channel over to sports and blasting the sound to drown out his frustration. Preempt his mood crash by pouring him a beer and suggest he drink it on the balcony while you beauty-up. Tip: If you are a high-maintenance woman, just do yourself a favor and book a hotel with an on-site bar. Life is short. 3. Don’t be shy about giving him w a r d r o b e gu i d a n c e .

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It’s time to go out. You’re dressed to the nines, and he’s wearing shorts and his favorite college t-shirt. Don’t ruin an evening by sulking over his perceived lack of wardrobe consideration. He’s on vacation, and his priority is what beer to drink not what shirt to wear. Speak up or shut up, and embrace the learning curve. Pull out the collar you secretly hoped he would choose, gush how good he looks in it, offer to buy him a beer and go have a fun evening. 4. Never, ever ask him to pick out y o ur o u t f i t f o r t h e e v e n i n g . He will pick the wrong one. This leaves you two choices: One, wear his outfit and suck it up, (serves you right!); or two, shatter his ego by unsuccessfully sugar-coating the fact that you are over-ruling him and wear what you really wanted to wear anyway. Either way, you will ruin the evening. Twenty years of marriage later, there will be misguided moments when you are still tempted to do this. Drop this romantic notion. This is a game few men want to play and even less men win. 5. Never ask: Does this make me l o o k fat ? He may say yes. Instead, live by the following rule: Don’t ask the question if you might not like the answer. I didn’t. I asked, he told me, I cried. 6 . Pr e p a r e f o r b a t h r o o m n o i s e . It will happen, so save yourself a lot of cramping. Embrace and accept it or pack the spare iPod-and-speaker set with the best volume. 7 . D o n ’ t s u c c um b t o t h e “ s u l k , s u l k , h e - s h o u l d - h a v e - k n o w n ” t r a p. If you want him to do something, tell him. If your wine glass is empty, ask him to pour you another. If you are cold, and he hasn’t offered you his jacket, ask for it. Stay warm, drink wine, and save yourself a lot of disappointment. He is not clairvoyant, never will be, and when you feel yourself going to the “sulky” place, twirl your ring and admire his collar. 8 . B e wa r e m a k i n g b l i n d - l o v e d e c i s i o n s . Many a regretful (and costly) honeymoon and vacation decision has been made in the name of love. (Timeshare anybody?) “I only did it because I thought you wanted to.” “Well I only did it because I thought you did.” Learn to speak up now; it’s better to negotiate through a few minutes of awkward discussion sooner, than waste an evening or suffer a lifetime of expensive regrets later. And embrace compromise. Admit you’d rather order room service than eat out, (romantic dinner on the balcony?) and if you want red but he wants white, get both. The honeymoon is the cusp of the learning curve, and life runs smoother if you prioritize magic over melodrama. Don’t assume, expect or hope; start as you mean to go on, learn to communicate calmly, and compromise. And remember practice makes perfect; besides, it will all come in handy on that first vacation with your in-laws. And you thought your partner had quirks!

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“Yes” “Yes” “Yes” F

or the last twelve years of his life, my grandfather was limited to a three-word vocabulary. He was always a man of few words. A stroke had robbed him of the rest of them.

“Yes” and “No” were the ones he used the most. Yes, he’d like the back yard mowed. No, he didn‘t want spaghetti for dinner. The third word was a four-letter one he reserved for when “no” didn’t just mean “no,” but “not in a million years!” Now, I was talking with a preacher in a funeral home in a rural town in West Virginia, my heart aching and my legs and back still cramped from our four-hour drive to get there. Although Granddad had lived most of his adult life in Baltimore, we all knew he’d want to come home at the end. That’s where we had taken him. The room was full of family I hadn’t seen in years and the cloying smell of flowers. I couldn’t help but think that my grandfather, who had never liked being the center of attention or wearing suits, was wishing he wasn’t at the front of that room. He’d rather be sitting outside on the steps with my great-uncle, talking in short man-sentences about hunting, fishing and football while the wives and daughters chattered on like magpies inside. The preacher smiled encouragingly, his blue eyes kind and crinkled at the corners. I felt a soothing warmth and comfort in those eyes, but what he was asking of me still made my stomach lurch. “Your Granddad didn’t live here, so I never had the pleasure of getting to know him. I think it would be nice to have someone who knew him well say a few words too. Your grandmother said you would be the best one to do it.” Of course she did. My grandfather was the quiet one in the family, I am the word weaver. I write daily and give public speeches as part of my job. Like my grandmother herself, I can be a chatterbox. As a little girl, I traveled to West Virginia with my grandparents on the weekends. Granddad drove, and Grandmom and I would talk and sing through the entire trip. When we’d try to get Granddad to join in, he’d just say “umm-hmm,” or “nuh-uh,” his eyes focused on the road. I’d giggle, call him “Grumpy” and tweak his mustache as soon as we were out of the car. He’d listened to me prattle on for years, and now the minister wanted me to give him one more dose of my chatter. “You don’t have to say yes,” my mom said gently. It wasn’t that she didn’t want someone to vocalize our family’s love for Granddad. She just knew that Granddad would understand if the sudden request was more than I could handle. I looked away from the minister and the hopeful eyes of my grandmother and lost myself in thoughts for a moment: Granddad spending long days by a river with a bag of sandwiches and a fishing pole. Granddad in his

garden, tending his tomatoes. Granddad in his garage workshop, building me a dollhouse, or a backyard swing for my mom and grandmother. Granddad showing up to pick me up from work when I had no other way home, even though he’d just finished a long day at his own job. Granddad spending his precious Saturdays running my grandmother from department store to department store, contenting himself with a ballgame on the car radio since he wouldn’t be getting out with his fishing buddies. Granddad driving to my house every day for a week to tend my menagerie of pets while I vacationed and not uttering a word of complaint when one of my ferrets had the audacity to crawl up his pants leg. After the stroke, Granddad said “no” an awful lot. But before it, his answer had always been “yes.” He didn’t tell long stories or give advice or express his feelings in words. He didn’t have to. Someone who spends their whole life dropping everything for those he loves, even when what they’re asking is more of a want than a need, has already told you how much he loves you without opening his mouth. Someone who takes joy in building beautiful and personal things that he knows will make his wife and child and grandchildren happy doesn’t need a mushy card to go with the gift. The way granddad lived his life could be summed up in one word – “yes.” Yes, I am here for you. Yes, I care enough to help you. Yes, the world is a beautiful place, if you know how to walk quietly through it instead of disturbing its peace. See? My eyes blurred with tears, but I met the kindly minister’s gaze and took a deep breath. I had made my decision. My mom was right. Granddad would completely understand if I didn’t walk up to that podium and speak. He already knew I would carry him in my heart forever. But when those he loved needed something, he stepped up to the plate. He didn’t need my words, but my grandmother did, and perhaps my father and my aunts and uncles and his old high school buddies did, too. I realized that understanding this had not only helped me come to my decision, but had given me the words about Granddad that needed to be said. I put a hand on my grandmother’s shoulder and smiled at the minister, who was patiently awaiting my answer and trying not to put pressure on me through the hope in his own eyes. “Yes,” I said. My speech came from the heart, and I think Granddad would have liked it. But nothing I said afterwards summed him up better than that one word.

The Yes-Man by Pam Hawley

36 www.sasee.com

april


A Gallery of the

“Social Networking”

Carolinas’ Finest Arts and Crafts

Custom designed and crafted pillows by Beth Pethtal

Always…

Victoria’s Ragpatch Join us for:

“Wine Fest 2012” April 28th

Coastal Carolina Museum, Ocean Isle Beach, NC Tickets: $50 (Ragpatch OIB) (Sunset River Marketplace)

117 Causeway Dr. Ocean Isle Beach, NC 910-579-3158 Open daily 10 am-6 pm

Join us for “Wine Fest 2012” April 28th

• Custom Framing Available •

Coastal Carolina Museum, Ocean Isle Beach, NC Tickets: $50 (Ragpatch OIB) (Sunset River Marketplace)

910-575-5999

Victoria’s Ragpatch, Inc.

10283 Beach Dr. SW • Calabash, NC • www.sunsetrivermarketplace.com

10164 Beach Dr. SW Calabash, NC 910-579-2015 Mon.-Sat. 10 am-6 pm

From Hwy. 17 turn on to Hwy. 179 to Calabash • Located 1/8 mi. from the state line.

Give

gently used children’s

Books for the

great gift ideas

for mom! $699 Tote Bag

With the Purchase of 3 Christian Greeting Cards LifeWay Exclusive

Tote Bag With Cross Reg. $13.99 Each

99¢  $5.99 EACH

Christian Greeting Cards

BOOKSHELF

$5

$20 pre-tax. Valid at the Myrtle Beach LifeWay Christian Store only. One per customer. Coupon must be presented and relinquished at time of purchase. Cannot be combined with any other discounts, including coupons, Savings Cards, Bonus Bucks, and LifeWay Rewards. Available on in-stock items only. Offer cannot be applied to the following: myMedia BurnBar CDs, gift cards, church supplies and programs, NAMB, WMU, LifeWay-branded products, Living Proof Ministries, Bargain Buys, prior purchases, Willow Tree® products, BibleWorks software, Specialty Imprints, textbooks, robes, pre-sell offers, and homeschool products. Valid 4/2 – 4/30/12.

Over 6,000 books distributed. Books will go on blue bookshelves in the community, available free for families to select and keep. The Bright Blue Sea Bookshelf is a Voices for Children project designed to create a culture of literacy in our community.

Myrtle Beach LifeWay Christian Store Located on Seaboard Street off Pine Island Road, just south of the Coastal Grand Mall. 843-839-9953

For more info, please call Ann Harris at 843-318-1732

Valid

4/2 – 4/30/12

C12832

BRIGHT BLUE SEA

off purchase of $20 or more

april

www.sasee.com 37


I married the baby of the family. I should have known what I was getting into, but I jumped headlong into a relationship with a 27 year old handsome, kind, intelligent, good man, a fellow teacher, who just happened to be the youngest of four siblings. I am the oldest of four siblings. My family position did nothing to prepare me for the emotional turmoil I was about to witness as I robbed Mama Bird of her baby. The first problem was that my husband had returned to his childhood home after finishing college and lived there until the day we returned to our new duplex from our honeymoon. Mama Bird had grown dependent on her 27 year old baby boy for companionship and conversation. Now, mind you, Daddy Bird was still in the picture; he was simply a rather reticent man, and Mama Bird got more information out of her baby. Problem number two was that much of Mama Bird’s life had centered around cooking special meals for Baby Bird and doing Baby Bird’s laundry. I had no concept of the importance of laundry until the day of our engagement. Upon showing my future mother-in-law my new diamond ring, she burst into tears. “Now I won’t be ironing his shirts anymore!” She sobbed, inconsolable, despite my offers to bring the laundry over to her. We had a short engagement, choosing to be married the following month in order to set up our house before school started in the fall. All five weeks of my engagement were fraught with tears, all of them belonging to Mama Bird. I was thankful for my sister-in-law, the oldest sibling. She tried reasoning with her mother. “Mama, do you want Wayne to be alone for the rest of his life? Don’t you want him to have a family?” Mama Bird refused to answer the question. Her reply focused on one area of interest. “What am I going to do without Wayne around the house? Who will I have to talk to?” I’m sure there were other comments that my future sister-in-law was too kind to pass on to me. I know that my housekeeping and cooking abilities were suspect from day one, and rightly so. I knew very little about either. My wedding day arrived. It rained – which I have always heard was an unlucky omen – but thirty-five years of marriage have been undaunted by that storm. No, it wasn’t the rain from the heavens that shadowed our wedding day – it was the rain from my motherin-law’s eyes. To her credit, she didn’t have an actual outburst during the ceremony; she managed to quietly weep into her handkerchief the entire time. Nevertheless, she made it through the ordeal, and we took off for our honeymoon in the mountains of Virginia. We had a pleasant honeymoon, visiting the caverns, hills and valley towns along the Shenandoah Parkway. Upon our return, my new in-laws paid us a visit, bringing along an extra wedding present – an Electrolux vacuum cleaner. I took that as the sign it was intended to be – a sign that my husband was used to a clean house, and it was my responsibility to see that he had one. A few days later, my husband

became ill. He took to the bed, feverish and achy, moaning and miserable. “Do you need a doctor?” I asked. He didn’t think so; it was probably a virus. I tried out my new wifely responsibilities. “What can I get you? Do you want me to make some Jell-O? Do you want some chicken soup? What can I do to help?” My new husband turned up his nose at all of my profferings. The entire day passed with my husband refusing to eat. The next day, he showed little sign of improvement. I was desperate. I picked up the phone and called Mama Bird. “What? Wayne is sick? Wayne hasn’t been sick in years!” I could hear the recriminations in her voice. My husband had received perfect attendance certificates all the way through school. He hadn’t used one single sick day in six years. I had done this. I had made him sick. He had never been sick when she was taking care of him. “I’ll be over in a little while. I’ll get him to eat.” I hung up. I prodded my husband once again to eat a little Jell-O or pudding. Nothing doing. A few hours later, the doorbell rang. I opened the door to find Mama Bird with some sort of dish in her hands. She set the dish on the stove and immediately went to check on her baby. “What is wrong? Why aren’t you eating? Do you have a temperature?” Mama Bird needed no real response. “I brought you something that should do the trick. I know how fond you are of egg custard.” Mama Bird went to the kitchen and scooped some of her homemade egg custard in a bowl. She returned to the bedroom, bearing her offering. I waited for my ill, grumpy husband to refuse it, knowing that he had no appetite. I watched in disgust as he feebly lifted his head from the pillow and opened his mouth for Mama Bird to shovel in some egg custard. I was livid, furious beyond all belief. This man, my husband, had refused all of my offers of food for over twenty-four hours. I needed some air. Making sure that Mama Bird was going to hover over Baby Bird until I returned, I took the car for a spin. I needed to calm down. I had never heard of egg custard as being grounds for divorce, but this might establish a precedent. “What?” I could hear the judge question my husband. “You refused all of your new wife’s offerings and then sat up in bed and ate your mother’s egg custard! How dare you? Divorce granted on grounds of cruel and unusual punishment.” Surely the people in the courtroom would cheer me on as I left with my decree. “New wife wins divorce in egg custard case!” the headlines would proclaim. I calmed down and returned to our new duplex. I checked in on my husband and found Mama Bird sitting by the bed, placing cool cloths on my feverish husband. She was happier than she had been in weeks. Her baby still needed her. All was right in the world. I ignored the Electrolux vacuum cleaner and sat down on the sofa to read a novel. Weaning Baby Bird might take some effort, but we had plenty of time. Now, what page was I on?

Mama Bird’s Egg Custard by Kim Seeley

38 www.sasee.com

april


Me & Mommy Ladies’ and Children’s Boutique Clothing, Accessories, Gift Registry, Sportwear

Spring & Summer arriving daily Gift Certificates Available Joyous & Free, Judith March, VaVa and many more…

843-361-9191

2004 Hwy. 17 South N. Mytle Beach, SC 29582 www.meandmommyonline.com

One of a kind Women’s Boutique Unique Fashion & Accessories

8th Annual

Funky Fashion Show at Fat Harold’s on Tuesday, April 24th 2:00 - 5:00

214 Main St., North Myrtle Beach

843-281-1089 Mon - Sat 10:00-5:00 Closed Sunday

www.2blondesonthebeach.com

BEAVER JUNCTION Antiques & Consignments

Specializing in Antiques and Collectibles NOW OFFERING Custom Made Bottle Trees Quality Antiques Unusual Finds & Primitives Very Competitive Prices Large Selection of Ornamental Iron Benches, Arbors, Trellises & Wall Art 3525 Business 17, Murrells Inlet

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http://facebook.com/Beaverjunction

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www.sasee.com 39


DNA

DN A Stands for “Does Not Apply,” Well, Maybe… by Diane Stark

“How would you guys feel if we got married?” Eric and I asked our children in early 2007. Our his-and-hers kids, whose ages ranged from 12 to 4, were thrilled. They actually happy danced. So that summer, Eric and I took the plunge. We had a small wedding, with our children as our only attendants. We went on a Caribbean cruise – sans children – but the day we returned, our ready-made family began. While talking with the kids one evening, I was struggling with how to refer to my new husband. “Eric, I mean, Dad,” I stumbled. Finally, I looked at my children and said, “From now on, I’m just going to call Eric ‘Dad’ when I’m talking to all of you. You don’t have to call him that, but it’ll be easier if I do.” To my surprise, four-year-old Julia said, “But can we? If we want to?” And seven-year-old Lea piped up, “Can I call you Mom?” So it was settled. Eric and I became Dad and Mom, and we tossed biology out the window. We were determined to become a blended family where biology simply didn’t matter. We decided that we would love all four of the kids the same, no matter whose blood ran in their veins. We even joked that DNA was no longer the acronym for deoxyribonucleic acid. In our family, DNA now stood for “Does Not Apply.” Loving each child equally, regardless of their genes, was the key to making our situation a success. For a while, our just-ignore-biology philosophy actually worked. And Eric and I could hardly believe how easy it was. “This blended family thing is a piece of cake,” we decided. Since I had my stuff so completely together, I decided to use my infinite wisdom as a brand-new stepmom to help other women in my shoes. I put my writing skills to work on a magazine article. I interviewed two “experts,” both of whom had written a book on blended families. The first one I talked to was a really well-known author, and I asked him how to successfully blend two families. His response was, “Blended families don’t blend. They collide.” Yikes. The female author I interviewed gave just as bleak a picture. “Being a stepmother is the most difficult and thankless job on the planet,” she told me. “Stepmoms do a lot of the work in raising the children, but the biological mother gets all the love. No matter what you do or how much you give, you’ll always be second to her.” Ouch. That one hurt. A lot. Their advice wasn’t what I wanted to hear, so I ignored it. I wrote the article using only the quotes I liked – the Pollyanna ones that said, “If you love each other enough, everything will work out just fine.” The article sold and was even reprinted several times, but I’m not sure it really helped anyone. Including – or maybe, especially – me. Shortly after school started, it was my stepdaughter Lea’s turn to be the Star Student in her classroom. She was supposed to take in pictures of her

40 www.sasee.com

family, and a family member was invited to school for the afternoon. Eric had to work, as did her biological mom, so I became the available family member. When I arrived at school, Lea introduced me as her mom. Things were going really well until the pictures Lea had brought started circulating the room. “Who is in this picture?” A kid would ask, holding up a picture of Lea’s biological mother. I could tell Lea felt uncomfortable with the question. After all, she’d already introduced me as her mom. And things got worse after the kids began to ask me questions. “What was Lea’s first word?” One girl asked me. Another said, “What was Lea’s favorite food when she was a baby?” “How should I know?” I felt like saying. “I’ve only known her for eight months!” Instead, I stumbled along, finally admitting that I was Lea’s “other mom,” and I hadn’t known her when she was a baby. When I finally owned up to my “other mom” status, the kids lost interest in asking me questions. “But I know lots of things about Lea,” I wanted to say. “I might not know whether she preferred strained peas or pureed sweet potatoes as a baby, but I know she likes sour cream and onion potato chips and that her favorite color is green.” But the kids didn’t care. Their message was loud and clear: You’re not her real mom and therefore, you aren’t important. In other words, biology matters. In the car on the way home, I apologized to Lea and said, “I hope you weren’t too embarrassed.” She shrugged and said, “It doesn’t matter. I was just glad one of my parents could make it today.” One of her parents. That’s how Lea thought of me. I smiled to myself and decided that despite everything, I’d count the day as a win. By that Christmas, I was pregnant. When Baby Nathan was born, the kids were as proud of him as Eric and I were. Nathan’s biology was an often-visited topic in our family. One day, Lea said, “Nathan is the only person in our family who is related to everyone else in our family.” “Yes, that’s true,” I said. “He has a little part of each one of us.” “Nathan is like a little string that ties our family together,” she said. “That’s an awful lot to expect of a baby,” I said with a smile. She grinned back and said, “Yeah, you’re right. It’s a good thing we’ve already got something to tie us together.” “Oh yeah? What’s that?” She gave me a funny look and then said, “Well, duh. We love each other, Mom.” I’ve learned that biology does matter and pretending that it doesn’t only complicates things. Yes, biology matters, but not nearly as much as love.

april


Bloomingails

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Give Your Mom, Sister, Best Friend or Yourself the Gift that Lasts a Year! Special Offer 12 Issues for $24 Name Address City State Zip Send check or money order to Sasee Distribution PO Box 1389, Murrells Inlet, SC 29576

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6105 North Kings Hwy., Myrtle Beach 843-213-1289 www.finderskeepersmyrtlebeach.com Hours: Tues - Sat 10am - 5 pm

www.sasee.com 41


Sheila Wright & Kelly Maddox Sheila Wright and Kelly Maddox are co-owners of Two Blondes on the Beach in North Myrtle Beach. Mother and daughter packed up and moved here from Kentucky eight years ago and opened their business. Since then, Kelly’s daughter, Charley, joined her mother and grandmother, becoming a part of the business. Charley was married in February of 2011 and gave birth to the first man in the family in December. Like many today, the family is a blended one. “We’re blended in so many ways and the best thing is that everyone loves each other,” said Sheila. Kelly and Sheila enjoy their alone time; these creative “blondes” spend it doing the things they love, including a golf game every Tuesday. “I enjoy painting new ideas on canvas, fabric and wood—whatever I can find,” said Kelly. “We have a great time with family on Easter,” said Sheila. “Of course we have the traditional foods—ham, deviled eggs, potato salad, and we always hide Easter eggs.” Sheila’s favorite Easter memory is taking her family to Destin, Florida. “We hid Easter eggs in the sand,” she said laughing. “It made them really hard to find.” Two Blondes on the Beach is filled with beautiful new items this spring. Sheila and Kelly are excited about their new merchandise, saying, “We have a great new line of jewelry with lots of color. Everyone loves these big metal pieces—they have lots of pizzazz! We also have a wonderful line of very flowery skirts, tops and dresses. These are not just for blondes either! Our blonde cookbooks have been very popular, so now we’re bringing in blonde aprons.”

Two Blondes on the Beach, 214 Main Street, North Myrtle Beach 843-281-1089 www.2blondesonthebeach.com

Chiara Rizzo-Hansen Chiara Rizzo-Hansen, owner of Chiara Rizzo-Hansen Interior Designs, Inc., was married ten years this past Valentine’s day. “Larry and I work together a lot; he is a master carpenter and furniture maker. We love working together on the same projects.” When not working, the couple enjoys the simple life: gardening, grilling, entertaining, listening to music and traveling when they can. “Our family is an international one. I came to Myrtle Beach from Italy in 1984 with two suitcases and nothing else. Our daughter, Isabella, was born in Mao Ming China, and we adopted her when she was 13 months old. We call ourselves the C.I A. (Chinese-Italian-American).” “We usually spend Easter together at home. It is an opportunity for us to give thanks and spend time together. When the weather cooperates, we love to have a barbeque outside and play with our two dogs. Easter in Italy was more formal, but I remember my mom would always buy me a new dress for church and relatives would visit. My dad would cook chicken on the rotisserie and baked potatoes, and then we kids would go and play in the yard. I mostly remember good smells and sunny days!” Chiara is excited about her business this spring. “We have beautiful outdoor fabrics, colorful and fresh outdoor rugs and so many new ideas and possibilities. Come see me at Rose Arbor Fabrics. I am also now doing bridal gown artistic renderings, as well as artistic renderings of bouquets, special places or other important events. I am planning to add more pieces to my “women of the world” art series and possibly do a show to benefit the American Cancer Society. That would be my dream! Dreaming is great; it took me where I never thought I would be.”

Chiara Rizzo-Hansen Interior Designs, Inc., PO Box 50036, Myrtle Beach, 843-446-2832 www.crhinteriordesigns.com


Laura Heryadi Laura Heryadi, owner of Indo Thai, Sushi, Hibachi, in Myrtle Beach and Pawleys Island, is not married, but is the mother of three daughters. “I work long hours, and it’s all for my children. My oldest, 19, is studying at San Diego University and the younger girls are 7 and 6. All three are so smart and make me very proud.” Laura’s sister, Lilly Gorirossi, manages the Myrtle Beach restaurant, but Laura does most of the cooking for both. “I have very little time for myself!” Laura came to the United States from Indonesia in 1991, and did not grow up celebrating Easter, but loves making baskets to surprise her children. “I fill them with chocolate, Easter bunnies and eggs; it’s a lot of fun.” As a child growing up in Java, Laura and her family celebrated spring with Lebaran, a Muslim holiday. “I remember having beautiful new clothes and going with my mother to take food to the elderly. At every home, we would get coins, this is called Pitrah, or giving of the coins. By the time we were finished, we would have a pile of coins to spend on candy and treats! This holiday is about giving thanks, much like Thanksgiving in the United States.” Indo Thai is preparing for a busy summer and is already seeing visitors enjoying our beautiful spring weather. “My customers always say they have found a new favorite restaurant when they come to Indo Thai. Everyone has dishes they prefer, but I encourage my guests to try something different. Usually, when they do, they find another ‘favorite’ dish,” said Laura. Lilly agrees and told me, “Recently, I convinced one of our regular customers to try a salmon dish. I prepared it myself, and she was so pleased!”

Indo Thai, 980 82nd Parkway, Myrtle Beach, 843-692-7000 & 47A DaGullah Way, Pawleys Island, 843-314-3543 www.indothaidining.com

BUSINESS Nancy & Rich Kreidler

When I asked Nancy Kreidler how long she and her husband, Rich, have been married, she laughed and told me, “Now you want me to count?” The couple, co-owners of Rice Paddy Restaurant in Georgetown, has been married for 32 years. Nancy told me Rich’s strong moral compass is one of the most special things about him. “If Rich says he’ll do something, he does it. You can always depend on him.” As a long-married couple, the things Rich and Nancy like to do together have changed throughout the years, but now they enjoy doing crossword puzzles together. “It requires that we approach the same clue from a different angle, and one of us will eventually get the answer.” Before moving to this area, Nancy and Rich lived near family, and Easter was a big celebration. “My house was the one everyone came to for holidays, and I always cooked ham and my grandmother’s recipe for macaroni and cheese served with stewed tomatoes.” Nancy’s favorite Easter memory is the year Easter fell on her birthday. “We had a big family gathering at my grandmother’s house. My mother made my cake and, for the candles, she blew out eggs and filled the shells with paraffin, making Easter egg candles.” When asked about her restaurant, Nancy told me, “We have a couple of new menu items at the Rice Paddy, but we want to stick with the things our customers are comfortable with and have grown to love. There is not a lot of change in staff because we have the best servers along the Grand Strand. The Rice Paddy has the same fun attitude! We want our customers to have a great meal and walk away with a big smile because they were treated well and were able to have fun socializing with their friends in a relaxed atmosphere.”

Rice Paddy Restaurant, 732 Front Street, Georgetown, 843-546-2021 www.ricepaddyrestaurant.com


This National Historic Landmark is home to the only Association of Zoos and Aquariums accredited zoo on the coast in the Carolinas, and one of the most significant sculpture collections in the world! From overland excursions on the Trekker to garden tours and new exhibits, there is always something new and exciting at Brookgreen. For more information call or visit our website

(800) 849-1931 www.brookgreen.org

Admission: $14 Adults, $12 Seniors, $7 Children 4-12 & Children under 3 are FREE!

Butterfly Exhibit Opens Spring 2012

Antiques, Avon Fabrics + Notions Unique Handmade Crafts Baby & Toddler Boutique Glassware Vintage Items Collectibles Handbags Wood Products Country Decor Jewelry WoodWick Candles 114-A Hwy. 17 N. • Surfside Shopping Center• Surfside Beach

Admission is Good for 7 Days!

Mon - Fri: 9 am to 6 pm Sat: 10 am to 5 pm Sun: 1pm to 5 pm

On Highway 17 south of Myrtle Beach between Murrells Inlet and Pawleys Island.

Advertiser Index

Accents by Carol . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 Beaver Junction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39 Belk . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 Bloomingails . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41 Bou’Tiki . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41 Bright Blue Sea Bookshelf . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37 Brookgreen Gardens . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .44 CHD Interiors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35 The Cheryl Newby Gallery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .35 City of Georgetown . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 Coastal Carolina ObGyn . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Coastal Dance Centre . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41 Coastal Uncorked . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 Consigning Women on Broadway . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 Finders Keepers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41 Fringe Salon . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47 Grand Strand Homewatch Caregivers . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 Hammock Shops . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 Hannah B’s . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Homespun Crafters Mall . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44 Lane’s Professional Pest Elimination, Inc . . . . . . . . . . . 15

44 www.sasee.com

LifeWay Christian Stores . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37 Long Bay Symphony . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47 The Market Common . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 McLeod Health . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 Me & Mommy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39 My Favorite Styles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47 Palace Theatre . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Palm Shoes & Collections . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39 Palmetto Ace Home Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33 Pawleys Lifestyles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 Planet Fitness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 Rice Paddy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 Rose Arbor Fabrics . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 Safe Kids Pee Dee/Coastal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 Sassyfras . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 Sculpted Figures . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48 Shades & Draperies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 South Atlantic Bank . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33 Studio 77 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33 Sunset River Marketplace . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37 Take 2 Resale . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35

Taz . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 Tiki Tan . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41 Two Blondes on the Beach . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39 Victoria’s Ragpatch . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37 WEZV . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47 Bridal Guide Art & Soul . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31 Barbara’s Fine Gifts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19 Butler Electric Supply . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 Cabana Gauze . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23 Christopher’s Fine Jewelry . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19 Consign@5th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 CRH Interior Designs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21 The Cricket Shop . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31 David E. Grabeman, D.D.S., P.A. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19 Douglas Diamond Jewelers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29 Eleanor Pitts Fine Gifts & Jewelry . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21 En Facé . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 Events on the Half Shell . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29 Floorz . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 Frank’s Restaurant . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18

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843-238-3622

www.homespuncrafters.com

Grady’s Jewelers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Grand Strand Plastic Surgery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Healthpoint . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Hucks & Washington Furniture Company . . . . . . . . . . Island Shoes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The Kangaroo Pouch . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The Little White Dress . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Once Upon a Time . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pawleys Island Bakery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pawleys Island Swimwear . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Priceless Desserts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ripleys Aquarium . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sherrie Cook . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The Social Garden . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Southern Cupcake Company . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Too Qt . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Treasures Jewelers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ultratan . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Wildberry Farm . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Rocking Chair Renegades A Rocking Chair Renegade is a woman over 50 who: refuses to let age define her and is not afraid of showing the lines of life on her face… believes that the fountain of youth springs from her mind… is wise, funny, active, engaging, valuable, beautiful and definitely not finished!

Susan Krowka Lives: Pawleys Island Family: I live with my husband, Tom. Our daughter, Alison, 21, is a student at USC, but this semester she’s doing a “Semester at Sea,” and is traveling the world while getting college credit. Currently, she’s in India and has been to South Africa, Brazil and Mauritius. Next, she’ll visit Vietnam, China and Japan. Occupation: My husband and I own Walsh Krowka & Associates in Georgetown. I’m a landscape architect and he’s an architect. We moved here and started our business 21 years ago. Hometown: I’m originally from Enid, Oklahoma. Tom and I lived in Atlanta for a short time, but came here because there was a lot of work rebuilding after Hurricane Hugo. Age: 52 Activities: To stay fit, I swim and do Zumba with my friends when I have time. I also belong to a book club—I love to read. Loves: I love my family, nature and good books, but I especially love seeing my daughter grow into an interesting adult! Laughs: Old “Saturday Night Live” skits, funny comments on Facebook and watching my cat, Joker, attempting to hunt! Favorite Meal: Seafood, probably shrimp, cooked any way Perfect Day: I would sleep in, have fun with my friends and later on, enjoy a delicious meal and good wine. Reads: The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, by Rebecca Skloot Spirit: Being at one with nature Gets Excited: A good work project still excites me. I love what I do, and I enjoy meeting new, interesting, intelligent people. I like being around smart people. Aging: It’s different than I thought it would be. I feel younger than 52. I do think it’s important to stay in shape. I’m enjoying my age!


The Scoop

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Visit www.sasee.com for a full calendar and more Sasee events!

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S.O.S. Spring Safari, various venues, North Myrtle Beach. For more info, call 843-280-5570, or visit www.shagdance.com.

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“Love,” Serendipity Singers Spring Concert, 3 pm, Belin UMC, Murrells Inlet, free. For more info, call 843-215-2561 or visit www.serendipitysingers.org.

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Nunsense 2: The Second Coming, Brunswick Little Theatre, Southport, N.C., For more info, call 910-368-6261, or visit wwwbrunswicklittletheatre.com.

Plantacular Sale, Brookgreen Gardens, free with garden admission. For more info, call 843-235-6000, or visit www.brookgreen.org.

Relay for Life Luncheon & Fashion Show, 11 am-1 pm, Sunset River Marketplace, Calabash, N.C., $45. For more info, call Victoria’s Ragpatch at 910-579-2015, or visit www.sunsetrivermarketplace.com.

Coastal Uncorked Food & Wine Festival, various venues in Myrtle Beach. For more info, call 843-839-8818, or visit www.coastaluncorked.com.

46 www.sasee.com

Promises, Promises, Theatre of the Republic, Conway. For times and ticket info, call 843-488-0821, or visit www.theatreoftherepublic.com.

A Musical Tour of Europe, Long Bay Symphony, 14th – 7 pm, First Presbyterian Grissom Parkway Campus, Myrtle Beach; 15th – 4 pm, All Saints Church, Pawleys Island. For more info, call 843-448-8379.

Moveable Feast, Mark Sloan & Josephine Humphries discuss Palmetto Portrait Project, 11 am, Kimbel’s at Wachesaw, $25. For more info, call 843-235-9600 or visit www.classatpawleys.com.

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“An Evening of Fabulous Music,” featuring Brunswick Big Band with vocalist Linda Ladrick, to benefit Old Bridge Preservation Society, 7 pm, Silver Coast Winery, $25. For more info, visit oldbridgepreservationsociety.org.

Art in the Park, 10 am-4 pm, 14-15 Chapin Park, Myrtle Beach, 21-22 Market Common, Valor Park. For more info, call 843-446-7471, or visit www.artsyparksy.com.

Indigo Choral Society’s Annual Spring Concert, 4 pm, Winyah Auditorium, Georgetown, free. For more info, call 843-446-4777 or 843-359-5626, or visit www.indigochoral.com.


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Epic Proportion

2011-2012 SEASON SATURDAY & SUNDAY, APRIL 14-15, 2012

SATURDAY, APRIL 21, 2012

APRIL 14 at 7:30pm First Presbyterian Great Hall, Grissom Parkway Campus

Join us for a one hour chamber concert and reception with light refreshments and wine. 570 Creekside Drive, Mt. Gilead, Murrells Inlet Hosted by Drew Streett of Garden City Realty 7:00pm | Tickets: $35

House Concert

A Musical Tour of Europe

APRIL 15 at 4:00pm All Saints Waccamaw, Pawleys Island Tickets $15 | Students $5 FOR TICKETS CALL: TICKETS ALSO AVAILABLE ONLINE AT:

843.448.8379

www.LONGBAYSYMPHONY.com

May 2012

Generations

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www.sasee.com 47


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Sasee April 2012  

Volume 11, Issue 4