Gryphon Gazette 2013-14, Issue 5

Page 1

The

Gryphon Gazette

April Fools 2014

The Newspaper of St. George’s Independent School

Issue I

Drastic next step taken in parking protocol

Top

Stories

• Gum now allowed at St. George’s

• La Fleur gives make-up tips

• Our teachers in their youth

• Next step taken in parking protocol

• Classified information confirms suspicions about redheads

Juliana Wall ’15

Dagny Vaughn ’14

• Mr. Will Bladt reviews “Thump, Quack, Moo”

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ecently, the Upper School has decided to crack down on students who refuse to follow the set procedures regarding

Eating well with Caroline Caroline Cannon ’15

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ith the world so focused on bettering how one looks on the inside, I, Caroline A. Cannon, have decided to help you become the most beautiful you on the outside. It is important to look fantastic on the outside so that you see yourself as a confident, beautiful individual. Sticking to a set way of eating is very important. Though some may call it a diet, I would prefer to call it a lifestyle choice. Here’s how you can keep yourself looking gorgeous. Right when you wake up, run downstairs and pour a full bowl of mixed Lucky Charms and Fruity Pebbles, finishing it off with 2% milk. Complete the most important meal of the day with four packs of CapriSun. Don’t forget to brush your teeth afterwards! As you speed down Houston

Levee attempting to get to school on time, make sure you are consuming the dozen donuts you just picked up from the small shop that saves everyone’s advisory from dying of starvation. Now, even if a fellow advisee brought donuts, you need to come prepared for the worst. A petite, royal blue lunch box free from the air conditioning is your lifesaver. You should be able to open up this snack pack at any time and find a lovely surprise of Goldfish, Fruit by the Foot, another CapriSun, an eight ounce Gatorade of your favorite color, Halloween candy from three years ago, and none other than the most magical Girl Scout cookies of all time, Thin Mints. Even after all this eating in advisory or during flex time, you may be cursed with second lunch.

Cont. on April Fools Page 3

parking on campus. On February 29th, students decided to park horizontally in all parking spots across campus, catching the attention of administration, who have decided on a new parking policy.

According to Upper School Dean of Students, Mrs. Jill Reilly, the newly set policy will be effective staring on April 5th and continuing on all days ending in “y”, and will consist of what she believes is the “last resort”

to dealing with uncooperative upper school parkers. “We were really hoping it wouldn’t come to this, but I’m afraid we have no other option to keep student parkers in their designated areas,” she said. This new procedure will involve the towing and sinking of all incorrectly parked student vehicles in Jake Lake on campus. These rule-breaking vehicles will be towed by maintenance into the woods and then forcefully pushed into the lake. “I believe this is the best way to deal with this issue,” said Mrs. Reilly. “After doing everything possible to help the students learn to park short of parking their cars for them, nothing has changed.” Areas that are considered unavailable for student parking include but are not limited to the faculty lot, the middle school lot, the Field House lot, all lots near the sports fields, the front lawn, the baseball fields, and any other areas that could be used for parking on campus.

Cont. on April Fools Page 3

Secret basement level uncovered at St. George’s Meredith Gatlin ’14

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ost members of the St. George’s community assume that the elevator in the main hallway of the school only goes to the first and second floor of the building. However, there is a secret button that with the right key will take anyone to the basement level. You read correctly. Underneath the main building of St. George’s Collierville Campus is a secret basement that is finally being revealed to the entire St. George’s population. The first graduating class created the basement floor as a home away from home for an elite group of students to live in, if they chose to do so. Each year a special committee of administrators selects a few seniors to have the special privi-

lege of using the underground lair. These chosen students prove their worthiness through a series of trials; if they succeed, they are given the key that is used for the secret button in the elevator. This year’s chosen students are seniors Jason Crawford, John Porter, Maggie Courtney, Walt Kearney, and Kayce Hyde. These esteemed students are allowed to venture down to the underground level whenever they choose. Courtney said, “I was so shocked to learn about this secret level when I was given a key to it. It is such a great way to escape from school whenever I am feeling stressed.” There is a flat screen TV, video game control system and a smoothie bar. Courtney and

the other members of this elite group are able to access all of these privileges before, during and after school. In addition, there are many underground tunnels that lead to different areas of the school.

Cont. on April Fools Page 3

Juliana Wall ’15 Access to the basement level is denied to most students.

Class schedule changes to one class per day Regan Hewitt ’14

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t. George’s Independent School prides itself on being a student-centered learning environment. According to the administration, a studentcentered environment means that each student’s needs are listened to and an attempt to cater to those needs is made. However, the schedule changes that have recently occurred at St. George’s have taken that approach to a whole

new level. In the past few months, the administration has released information that among the new classes that will be offered, there will be a new rotating schedule for the 2014-2015 school year. Now, as opposed to having seven class periods every day there will be one period per day. That’s correct: one period a day. To address the recent student complaints that the school day is too long as well as the realization that some information cannot be processed in mere 45-minute

class periods, St. George’s will now offer a one-class-per-day option. As explained by the students and administrators who were involved in the decision-making process, on A day, there will be a 55-minute class for Period 1 (say, English) starting at 10:00 am. After this class, there would be an hour-long lunch period starting at 11:00 am and then, a 45 minute study-hall in which to complete English homework. Dismissal would be around 1:00. “In

keeping with the St. George’s approach, this is a very student-centered schedule and pedagogically sound,” said Ms. Kelly Majuri. Students and administrators hope that this new schedule will encourage both school attendance and more attentive learning by the student body. “It also makes my job so easy,” said Ms. Majuri. Students have expressed appreciation over the study-halls that allow for homework time within the school day. Teachers are also overjoyed

with this change, as it leaves them almost a full week to plan their next class period. However, there have been some concerns expressed over the amount of pressure that a whole-school lunch period would place on the cafeteria. This concern is supposed to be addressed at the next monthly administration team meeting. “To my suspicions, I think we’ll just build a new cafeteria,” said Ms. Majuri. “It seems like the most logical option.”


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