SELETAR GUZZLER MAY 2016

MAY

MUDDY DICK

SKINNY waved us off toward Masjid Hang Jebat and we were told we would find paper behind it.

The run started off from the car park towards the old KTM railway track SKINNY knows this area well and with BABI HUTAN as consultant, we quickly entered the hutan.

We went in and out of the hutan between Warwick Road and the Greenway, before crossing the AYE to the 'Black & White' Alexandra Park enclave.

We ran along the Greenway till coming to the Gillman Flyover

Here we trespassed on the grounds of some homes in Royal, Winchester & Canterbury Roads.

We crossed toward York Road. It was then a Zig Zag route in this Black & White Houses area.

There was a drink stop serving unknown drink ?

Before reaching Normanton Park, there was a Drink Stop where wine was served.

Along the back of Normanton Park passing by late Small Size’s house, we emerged toward Science Park Drive.

We recrossed at thebridge Science Park We crossed theAYE overhead toward overhead and returned home toviathe Portsdown bridge Road. There we ran parallel big drain till reaching The Greenway route.

Portsdown and the Greenway again.

From there we could see the run site.

At Base Camp, while guests took selfies to remember the occasion, cooks prepared food to satisfy our hunger after the great run.

ANNOUNCEMENT : Paying guests can come for a maximum of two runs with us, afterwhich they need advance approval from the hares.

We had 2 visitors : ex-member SWEETY and VODKA. It was a good run, except for one difficult to break check, which some impatient

members gave up.

As a result, many returned home from different directions and missed the Drink Stop. ( Hares should announce Drink Stops at the start of run to encourage members to do the full run ).

The sweep got MAMA SUSU to take over his duty as he was KOON TE's Assistant Cook.

However, he did not teach replacement to break checks.

O N O N T O M A K A N

MOTHER-IN-LAW & MUDDY DICK

JALAN SATU OLD AIRPORT ROAD

NURSE FUCKER'S SCRIBE REPORT

Run 1 554, Hares Muddy Dick and Mother in Law, - A Run Aside from NurseF’ker. (Skinny Clock – 7.86km, 52min but first home was 49min)

Well for me the run started at about 3pm when the whip was displaying his understanding of Pemdas / Bodmas to explain that the Guzzler viral answer to the circulating thought about how many beers to drink on the hash depicted from the equation (9-3 divided by 1 /3 +1 ) was actually 1 . But our long time almost silent Devil safely tucked up in Tasmania, Maruku Muma, who decided it was 2 and that was greeted with a retort from “He” (no she’s on our run if you don’t count princess) who shall be obeyed, by asking if he was in town for the run tonight.

When I arrived at the run, this person to whom we are all supposed to obey, was not to be seen, so I had my one beer and even until just before start “He” was thankfully not present to witness (supposed to have many eyes around you know). So, at the whip beer limit, I went on run, walk or other, Run 1 954, set by a member of the House Council, and the Spirit of another nameless individual who was sucking it up in Taiwan, to see if there was actually a run out there at all.

We satu’ed out and along Dunman Road to the first T Check and then back again past the run site car park as though we’d all gone in the wrong direction, but I knew Muddy had also broken the whips run limit of only one beer and sent us all off in the wrong direction to put us all through that useless pain just for the hell of it. (or maybe his run was initially too short??). But then he realised that the new direction was equally possibly wrong and forced a call to on on down the river walkway and turn right into Guillemard Rd, just when the great Russian named German was heading back for a beer as he’d had enough of this wrong direction rubbish. So up the bloody road we went to a corner of construction with a sign on the road saying “Fishing”. Shit that was where the GM was or said he was to be and left all the circle crap to our Hare, He who shall be obeyed, and yours truly.

Where the run went after that was anybody’s business. The marking was there but you had to really look hard for some little arrows and bits of flour but at other times the arrows looked like he’d used a box of chalk. We ran around a bit, circled outside a petrol station on Tanjong Katong Rd, headed up to Haig Road, back out to Tg Katong road, up or down Dunman Lane, and somewhere around the Queen of Peace church, annoyed some people as we ran through their park and came home again via, Dunman Road with a twist into the side lanes of Poole Rd, Crescent Rd and out to the Geylang River and home to see Ichi, no not that one, you know, the balls one, taking his photos of his own run on the wrong side of the Geylang river.

Some time later, “He” who shall be obeyed arrived home across the only bit of rough grass seen on the whole run i.e. the who puts trepidation into the hashmen, and therefore he was warmly welcomed – “Welcome back whip”. So another beer, my first, or was it second, and on to a circle, a bit from the one who was welcomed home, some whiptaunting by Kretapi and some of the best belachan fish with other good food, and for me, all washed down with that great Irish black stuff as I had had my second beer, one more that the formula allows. Next day, when we were all recuperating, Pink Pussy gave his final answer to the formula, Is it 8? On on.

AS MUCH OF THE SCRIBE REPORT WAS JUST GIBBERISH, THE EDITOR EXERCISED HIS PRIVILEGE AND EXTRACTED ONLY A SMALL PORTION ( IN BLUE ) TO BE PLACED WITH PHOTOS TAKEN DURING THE RUN.

We satu’ed out and along Dunman Road to the first T Check and then back again past the run site car park as though we’d all gone in the wrong direction.

The new direction was equally possibly wrong and forced a call to on on down the river walkway and turn right into Guillemard Rd.

Where the run went after that was anybody’s business. The marking was there but you had to really look hard for some little arrows and bits of flour, but at other times the arrows looked like he’d used a box of chalk.

We ran around a bit, circled outside a petrol station on Tanjong Katong Rd, headed up to Haig Road, back out to Tg Katong road, up or down Dunman Lane, and somewhere around the Queen of Peace church, annoyed some people as we ran through their park and came home again via, Dunman Road.

Into the side lanes of Poole Rd, Crescent Rd and out to the Geylang River and home to see Ichi, no not that one, you know, the balls one, taking his photos of his own run on the wrong side of the Geylang river.

Some markings were placed so high that they could be seen far away and encouraged short cutting.

All points considered, including missing M-I-L, it was a usual run from this pair ... we can always expect the food to be better than the run.

1 . SHORTIE ROO was told to pass cash for his Bali InterHash T-Shirt to LA KOPI. Only problem ... he did not know who LA KOPI was.

2. KING KONG was given this hash name because of his initials KK. 3. HARSHMAN brought a replacement for his tongkat bhai .... hiking stick given during COOL CUMBER / PRESS ONCE's run.

4. Guest Shaun was given an opportunity to sample our ice chair.

" They're both F*cking Close To Water "

PINK HOLE NINJA was iced because he had been skipping our runs so often that he forgot who the whip was.

He also misplaced his car keys which somehow ended up in car dealer LOST COCK's pocession and risked being scrapped to recover the COE ( C Hor Yee .... Die For Them in Hokkien ).

ICHI BALLS was so amused by this charge that he couldn't stop laughing.

O N O N T O M A K A N

SCRIBE : ICHIBALLS

En-route from JB with fellow hashers from Tanjung Petri HHH (TPH3), it started raining chipmunks and squirrels somewhere along CTE. First thought that came to our Johor hashers’ minds? SH3’s GM very kiamsiap (stingy)!

Things though were different at the run-site, Carpark B along Mt Faber Road to be precise.

Weather was perfect, albeit alittle humid, and our TPH3 brethren “retracted their statement,” and were somewhat awe-struck by the view at the same time.

“Today’s gonna be a good run!” declared Forget-Me-Not at 6pm sharp. “You won’t come out of the jungle!” he added, and then continued to brief us on the trail markings, which were toilet-paper and flour, and that we should remark any T-checks by re-using the toilet-papers.

On the way up, we chanced upon what looked like a bunch of “wild grapes,” and TPH3 ex­GM, Admiral, was tempted to chow down on them!

True to the GM’s words, once we buggered off from the run-site, we were immediately lead into the bushes, and into some pretty interesting terrain.

We then cut into a small lane where I hear a voice saying, “hey, all you short cutting bastards!” It was none other than Nuts, who decided to forego the shiggy, and instead opted for a paved road.

From there, we entered another patch of forest and our ex-GM, Hornbill, suddenly commented, “wow! Paper wasn’t laid in N-park territory!” Before you know it, we were at the stairway of Faber Park, where most of the front-runners got screwed right at the top with a T-Check.

Following yet another T-Check, we were then led into the sloping jungles of Mt Faber.

It was up-hill from there on, and I decided to follow some of our TPH3 brothers on this part of the trail, just so I could understand from them if they ever expected such routes from a local Singapore hash. Just Before we proceeded down to connect friendly the trail, we decided to take group competition la. photos of ourselves, which I felt were worthy of the cover of a BoyBand record

Those that decided to proceed up the slope ended up cursing at yet another T-Check! This was a “T-checkular” run!

Next up, we ran past an abandoned Japanese tomb stone. Here’s a little trivia. Contrary to what most people think, the person buried there wasn’t a Japanese Admiral who fought valiantly during the Japanese occupation. Rather, he was a civilian naval engineer who had worked for the Mitsubishi Heavy Industries.

The next interesting feature of the run was the Keppel Hill Reservoir. We hashers have been running past it since time immemorial, but our National Heritage Board only rediscovered it in 201 4.

Goes to show how us hashers know about our heritage better than a statutory board!

The trails then lead us to Mt Faber Road itself, and it was On Home from there, but not before we had a t-shirt stop instead of a drink stop!

Overall, it was an excellent run. Not quite the same as a previous run we had there a few months back, just almost the same . On On to the 1 953 Hares!

Car Park Free !

RUN 1 955 24 MAY Hares: ITCHIBALLS PALE RIDER

We had two English visitors, a father and son pair ( SMART ARSE & KEBAB ), who dropped by after the Bali InterHash, to check out our standard in setting runs ( Perhaps they are from the British SAS, out to check the myth of Osama Bin Laden's continued existence )

At Admiralty, we quickly entered the bushes only to go out when hitting a T-Check.

Soon it's back in again.

This stretch was the best part of the run, but instead of remaining inside, we hit an unbroken Circle Check.

Disappointingly, the markings found led us to the park connector along Admiralty Road West.

It was just a stroll in Woodlands Waterfront Park and the only consolation was to see that we were better off than being stuck in traffic like the cars on the causeway.

The easy walk continued all the way to Marsiling Road, followed by Riverside Road and home via Admiralty Road.

At Riverside Road, it would have been ideal if the hare found a way through Admiraly Park so we could enjoy some shiggy on the way home.

Alas, it was an insufficiently challenging run, especially for our English visitors who also could not locate Osama ( must have sneaked home via the causeway and became PR )

ANNOUNCEMENT Guest's fees are increased to $30/( 2 runs only ) afterwhich if he so decide to join, the $60/- paid will be used to off-set against the sub.

Yes ... Osama (PALE RIDER ) was MIA and did not help set the run Yes ... NParks construction and fence blocked exit in Admiralty Park, so no shiggy on the way home ............... BUT : ITCHIBALLS should have got a consultant to assist him (dangerous to set run alone) and the first runner reached home under 45 minutes ..... Hence HASH SHIT !!!.

The hares gracefully accepted the verdict and pledged ONE WHITE each.

" Make a sentance with the word INCOME "

After the 'WANTED' poster have been displayed and the hash brew stall properly staffed, the WHIP was welcomed to the CIRCLE.

The WHIP first gave recognition to our Seletar Ball Breakers.

SHORTIE ROO gatecrashed the WHIP's Father & Son charge

SKINNY apparently, does not know the meaning of

blowjob.

BELAKANG KIRA on ice for declaring that he is willing to be next year's GM

" My neighbour is using a tiny brush to paint his house. It's gonna take that contagious. "

We were given an English lesson by SMART ARSE and the WHIP reciprocated by teaching our guests the meaning of Singlish words .... KIASU, SHIOK and LEPAK.

Kiasu members were creeping towards the shiok food ... no hurry ... lepak

Shiok is an exclamation expressing admiration or approval, just like ‘cool !’ and ‘great !’. It is also an adjective that describes delicious food or a superb meal, or anything that can be considered admirable, enjoyable, or excellent.

Being born in 1 957, the hares requested for this run number and with help from Cuntopop and lots of Johnnies, hope to set the RUN OF THE YEAR.

" Go along the paths of CleanTech Park toward the green building ( CLEANTECH ONE ) passing Thow Kwang Pottery ... only chalk marks in the park "

" Crossing Nanyang Avenue and just after the bus stop, enter a forested area, using a small trail "

" Break a T-Check and follow paper looking out for this open patch and forest home. "

" Emerge from the shiggy onto a track and another T-Check which will lead to yet another forest trail. "

" Come to a forest farm & follow the red signs from plot to plot ( 6 or more )."

" Exit onto a track with an unusual and tall tree as a landmark ... Crossing a bridge (should have made runners cross the stream instead of using the bridge), you will hit a Circle Check. "

" Avoiding the cemetery, turn left instead and cross back on another bridge, Head in a south direction in military training grounds passing this training hut.

The tracks will eventually lead to Lorong Danau and the DRINK STOP."

" After a refreshing Whiskey Tea, take a shortcut through NTU and go into a forested area through a gap in NTU's fence ( before the fence can be repaired ). "

" Bashing through shiggy will lead to CleanTech Park's Eco-Walk, which exits directly at our car park and HOME. "

As the run was just slightly over 6 km, FRBs returned just slightly over our club's minimum timing of 45 minutes .... Thankfully stopping FRBs at the Drink Stop for a chat, the hares avoided a technical hash shit.

There were duck wings and parts as finger food and another bottle of whiskey was added to the green tea brew .... Looks like a jolly evening.

Comments were generally positive as the run was kept to forested areas and yet easy enough for our aging members. ( Cuntopop did a great job as consultant )

Aussie CINDERELLA was the first charged.

Coffeeshop @ 9 Jurong West Avenue 5