Stellar Day Magazine, May Issue, 2016

STELLAR DAY ISSUE 9 | MAY 2016

The

May Issue

CO-PARENTING

Tips for how to successfully co - parent your children even in the midst of divorce

HOME IS WHERE YOU MAKE IT An interview with an American expat making her home abroad

HOW TO FILL A WALL SPACE IN YOUR HOME

Quick tips on how to decorate easily , on a budget and with items you may already have

stellar day table of con tents 03 Being Home 05 Home & Hospitality 08 Home Is Where The Heart Is

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11 Two Homes 13 Do You Want To Be Well?

15 Claim Victory 17 Home Is Beautiful 19 Home is Where You Make It 22 How To Knit A Throw Pillow Cover

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25 How To Fill A Wall Space In Your Home 27 Chicken Caesar Salad 30 Editors Note

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stellar day magazine www.stellardayblog.com

Being

HOME

BY JESSICA WILLIAMS PHOTOS BY TARRYN KEOPKE

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I have always, all my life, dreamed about being a stay at home mom. I had all these preconceived notions about what it was going to be like. I envisioned hours of time to devote to making my house a home, cooking home cooked meals, and playing on the floor with my children. I couldn’t wait to let them run through the sprinklers in the summer, I didn’t dread the thought of ‘throw up duty’ during flu season, and I thought that I would look amazing all while doing it. Prekids, I would tell myself that I would get up every single morning at 4:00am to get my workout in if I had to, and I swore by that. I never understood why all the moms seemed so tired. I mean, I knew it had to be exhausting, but how exhausting

could it be? Aren’t you just hanging out at home?

Oh little ol’ naive Jess. I chuckle at the “parenting advice” I used to give myself before I had kids.

The truth is, being home is a huge discipline for me. I am both a working mom AND a stay at home mom and while I have the pleasure and total honor to do both, it IS a discipline. I don’t have hours of time to keep up with cleaning my house. Cooking is more of a chore for me and sitting on the floor to play with my kids makes me want to take a nap so bad (maybe I can just sneak in two minutes!). Sprinklers in the summer are great, until your kids are tracking wet grass through the house, turning the yard into mud pies, and burning

themselves on the hose because it’s nine hundred degrees outside. And throw up duty? It’s like my worst nightmare. Not only is the vomit monster so unpredictable, the thought of potentially losing an entire night of sleep makes me want to UGLY CRY. I don’t get up at 4:00 am every morning to work out. And now I get it.

Yes, I want to be fit, feel better, and look awesome. But being a good mom all during the day AND running businesses means I’m really exhausted. And right now, while I try to make healthy choices during the day and put myself first when I can, that’s just not the season I’m in. And I don’t have unlimited funds to have someone help me with all the things that need to be accomplished in a day, to be able to sneak a consistent workout in.

Being home is hard. It’s hard work, and it’s not for everybody. I sit in the exact center of the fence on this one, understanding why moms give up their entire careers to stay home but also understanding why a lot of moms choose to go back to work.

Being a mom in any capacity isn’t easy.

There’s something in me that wants to grip at my discontentedness and make me feel unsatisfied with “just staying home.” There’s something inside me that wants to pack our days to the brim with outings, things to do, activities, lunches, and exhausting the kids so that they’ll nap.

OMG PLEASE NAP. But there’s something else that nudges at me to slow down and to take in all the small moments that happen when I actually get on the floor with my kids. Something beautiful happens when you allow being home to give you the freedom to love what you’ve been given. There’s beauty in allowing your children to be bored at home with nothing to do, nowhere to go, and no one to entertain them.

Being physically at home isn’t always my favorite thing. But isn’t that what I truly wanted? I didn’t want to raise my kids in constant public outings, over scheduling, or with tons and tons of other people. It’s always been my dream to be home with them, nurturing them, not rushing them into adulthood. There’s nothing wrong with taking them out. HA. I would die if we didn’t have things to do outside the home too.

But actually committing to spending some of my days each week at HOME with my kids is a discipline for me. It’s not the easiest job I’ve ever done. I’ve learned how selfish I really can be and seen the ugly side of my spirit a lot since we committed to me being home. But continuously disciplining myself to be home, to be present, and to be near to them helps me to slow down, see them, hear them, and also learn from them. I have to constantly remind myself why I wanted to do this to begin with. And while it’s not ANYTHING like I thought it was going to be, it is beautiful. And while it’s far from the perfect picture I painted in my head before I had kids, it’s my HOME. My little family, my life, my days are not something to wish away. They are something to be cherished, treasured, and held sacred.

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Home

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y

Hospitalit

By Nicole Thompson Photos by Agnes Art & Photo

In my early days as a Christian I was blessed to know some women who had beautiful hearts for hospitality. They used their homes to serve the Lord and love His people well. Late nights, small groups, young adults, families, kids, deep discussions, prayers, games, and lots of laughter-- their homes were full! I couldn’t tell you how many packages of coffee and cartons of creamer they went through. Surely more than enough! These women were truly gifted with hearts of hospitality and are such gifts to the kingdom of God! Many hearts were softened, molded, and lifted up to Jesus at their kitchen tables and on their living room floors. I looked forward to using my own home to serve others but seeing this, the enemy sought to deter me. As his name goes, The Father of Lies, he warped my perception and whispered lies in my ear. These seeds were planted in my mind and as they grew. They sounded like this: “A good steward always has their home clean and organized when people come over.”, “You need to fill your home with furniture.”, “You can’t have people over without painted walls and window coverings.”, “You need the right décor to make your home feel warm and inviting.”, “You can’t serve food right out of the package; you have to use serving dishes.”

And the lies went on and on. Although I still opened my home for gatherings such as baby showers and Bible studies, I still felt like the end goal was to have my home completely furnished and decorated. Oh and of course have all kinds of serving ware. Only then would I really be a good host and my home worthy of such gatherings. Oh the time I’ve spent believing lies!

Then during Women’s Bible study one week, the topic was hospitality and God completely changed my view. The speaker explained that hosting is often more focused on preparations than people. However, hospitality is all about serving others and not at all about me. When I’m more worried about what people will think about my home than serving them, really I’m more focused on myself and my own feelings.

Hospitality is the art of using our home to show others that they matter to us. Our homes don’t have to be beautiful or even clean to show others that they are important, just that we’re open to receiving them. When I have housework to be done but a friend needs to drop her

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kids off for a little while I’m showing her that right now she’s more important than the dirty dishes overflowing my kitchen counters. When I sense a friend is lonely and the grocery budget is tight I invite her over for sandwiches. Even though I would rather wait until I can cook an actual meal, I choose her heart over my desire to show off a home cooked meal. I simply offer her what I have: my home and my time.

It is absolutely okay to have beautifully decorated homes and serve people fancy, home cooked meals. However, let’s not prioritize the outward appearance of things over people’s hearts. In Romans 12:13 scripture urges us to “contribute to the needs of God’s people” and “pursue the practice of hospitality.” In the hustle and bustle of life sometimes people just need to be reminded that they matter more than whatever else is going on in our lives, even just for a little while. Sometimes we have to stretch out of our comfort zones and allow people into our homes regardless of the state they’re in.

Hearts are always more important than folded laundry and perfect décor anyway, right? I’m praying that the Lord would help me be a good steward of the home He’s provided for me by using it to love others well.

It is absolutely okay to have beautifully decorated homes and serve people fancy, home cooked meals.

However, let’s not prioritize the outward appearance of things over people’s hearts.

Nicole Thompson is a wife to her husband, Brad and a SAHM to their sweet, sassy two year old Claire. When her time is not full of dirty dishes and Disney Jr., she loves few things more than sitting across the table from women hearing their stories.

She will never understand God's love and patience towards her but is so thankful for how He has set this captive free! Check out her blog, Every Chain Broken to hear more from her heart!

"May your walls know joy, may every room hold laughter, and every window open to great possibility."

Mary-Anne Radmacher-Hershy

HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS

by Esther Gallagher Above Photo by Agnes Art & Photo

Homemade, homemaker, homeschooled, home fries, home grown, homework— all words connected to the ‘home’; not just a residence where one pays a rent or mortgage, but of a familiar belonging, a source of pride, refuge, nurturing, and of gathering loved ones not just into a building but into our hearts. But we’re all human and sometimes second-guess what makes a house a home and feel pressured to keep up with the Joneses. And the constant Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter images in on our feeds certainly don’t help, adding even more feelings of inferiority and criticism over our homes’ aesthetics. In a

hot Instagram instant, we can go from appreciating the same floors that have seen babies take their first steps, and backyard spaces where fur babies frolic in the grass, and kitchens where we enjoy home-cooked meals --- to condemning our homes for being outdated, old-fashioned, needing a DIY this or that, and not to mention a big, fat home improvement loan.

Our homes have served many well, providing a roof over heads, pantries to store food that we are blessed to eat, running water for hygiene and sanitation, and other obvious necessities. But how

"But we're all human and sometime second guess what makes a house a home..."

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many can admit that at one point or another, we’ve found ourselves comparing our mid-90’s Formica-grade countertops to our co-workers’ marble counters carved out of the Italian mountainside or simple textured walls behind our appliances to our neighbor’s trendy wood tile backsplash, or envying Facebook friends who are buying the new ‘White Ice’ style appliances (did you know White Ice is actually a thing?!

Google it!) that are all the rage instead of stainless steel (which is apparently so early 2000’s but don’t ask me because just a year ago, we still had a fridge with the old white bumpy, rubbery texture).

Maybe you already have a beautiful granite countertop and top-of-the-line cabinetry but you just visited a builder’s model home and now you’re ogling Caesarstone tops and are dying to have a kitchen island with different wood staining than the rest of the cabinets like the ones featured in Better Homes and Gardens’ magazines?

Many friends and family have always had beautiful houses fashioned out of much

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finer materials than mine and I have never felt jealous of that. But over time, as I opened up social media accounts and the images of everyone else’s homes kept flooding in, I started comparing my home more and more. And then I found myself steering away from posting pictures taken at home because I guess I was afraid of material judgement. I’ll be honest, I felt insecure about displaying my home to the big, scary social media world when I thought I had a HGTV fixer upper in need of Chip and Diana’s help while others had homes worthy of the Property Brothers’ approval. And then, things legitimately started wearing down (as they do when a house is 17+ years old and my mildly destructive children do some major damage)-- the cabinet doors threatened to fall off their hinges, shelves loosened, and all the wood glue and extra screws couldn’t seem to BandAid it all together anymore. At that point, it was not only in our best interest to take on home-improvement but it was a financial investment into our home’s resale value. So finally, I had a real excuse for home improvement because

things really and truly were falling apart around us! Oh, we can justify anything if we try hard enough, right?!

So after some serious number crunching, budgeting, and soliciting contractors, we bit the bullet and underwent renovation to add on a 5th bedroom, completely remodel the kitchen and flooring and most recently, update the bathrooms.

The ensuing dusty, noisy, confining construction months of only eating microwavable meals and washing dishes at our neighbor’s houses didn’t kill us but it didn’t make us any stronger either.

You see, after everything was said and done and I had my fancy glass subway tile backsplash, my rich Espresso-stained Shaker cabinets with industrial, brushed nickel hardware, and my sleek, white granite countertops (granite because this girl does not have the purse strings for that fancy Casearstone!), my beach wood tile flooring (that tricks the eyes into thinking its real wood), I still found myself feeling discontent and unsatisfied. I know I sound completely selfish and ungrateful but that's because

I was being selfish and ungrateful. In fact, I couldn’t even fully appreciate cooking in my new kitchen because my mind was already wandering to what’s next? After we had spent all this renovation money, energy, and time, I thought… but now my coffee tables don’t go with my kitchen.

Now I need to repaint the living room accent wall so that it flows better with the design. Now the exterior of my house doesn’t go with its contemporary interior.

And the dissatisfied thoughts spun out of control until I realized, my perspective had become very skewed and I no longer had an attitude of gratitude towards my home.

I finally understood that this cycle of insecurity, comparison, and material desire derailed me a long time ago and I had lost respect for the house that my husband and I had worked so hard to mold into a warm, safe, and beautiful family nest. That in one breath, I would tell my children to be grateful for everything they have in life when so many are struggling to make ends meet and are living on the streets but the next Pinterest pin would leave me obsessing and wanting for more. No wonder I was anxious, unappreciative, and dissatisfied. Enough was enough and I finally realized that my home had always been more than enough for me.

What do you compare your life against on social media? Is it the high-end, luxury homes that others seem to have like it was for me? Is it others’ lovey-dovey, picture perfect relationships when you are struggling to with yours? Is it the fabulous Travel Channel tropical vacations your friend and her family go on when you take yours tent camping? Take a hard look at that and let it go before it derails you like it did me from what’s truly important in life.

So now, when I come across pictures of the kids’ birthday parties in the old kitchen like the one in this article, I look back with fondness and remember that we were so blessed then, and still are. But today, the blessings have nothing to do with the design of my home but everything to do with the design of my heart. Cherish your home because home is truly where the heart is.

TWO HOMES

CO-PARENTING SUCCESSFULLY

By Rina Murphy, MSW, LCSW One of the questions I am asked most often in my field of work is “what’s better for the kids, an amicable divorce or staying together despite constant fighting?”

At face value, the answer most people would lean towards is an amicable divorce, right? Problem is, not all divorces are amicable.

When two people come together in marriage and ultimately start a family, most don’t do so with the intent of splitting apart. Yet somewhere along the way, life happens. What was once the union of hope can turn into a path to destruction. And in the line of fire are the kids.

Sometimes counseling can save a marriage. It takes a lot of work and commitment on both partner’s ends. I’ve been honored to assist some families who have survived what many deem the worst times of their lives. I’ve also been witnessed to couples who cannot get past hurts in order to live a harmonious life together, and thus decide to split. Even though couples decide to divorce, most still want to be good parents to their children and remain active in their lives. This is when co-parenting begins.

Co-parenting is defined as a parent-

ing situation where two parents work together to raise a child even though they are divorced, separated, or no longer living together. Sounds easy enough.

Weeeeell that’s the technical definition. I see it played out more like, a parenting situation where two parents have to put their own personal stuff with each other aside in order to do what’s best by their children. If you thought the marriage was hard, welcome to coparenting. I always say, people divorce for a reason, usually it’s because they don’t like each other.

So now imagine having to play on the same team, make conjoint important decisions, and consult with someone you don’t like?

About YOUR kids! Hard. So hard.

But here’s the motivating factor, your children’s emotional wellbeing. If there’s anything we can usually get down with doing something for, even if it’s playing on the same team with a person, dare I say we despise, it’s for our kids.

Let me share with you what working with children of divorced families has taught me. Children see themselves as part mom, and

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part dad. Simple concept. So try this, every

towards the other parent will most often

abuse, substance abuse or severe mental

time you bad mouth one parent, I’d like you to

develop into a lack of self-respect towards

illness co-parenting would actually do more

imagine calling your child that name, or

themselves too.)

harm. Again, keep in mind the child’s best

describing your child that way to themselves.

Ouch.

interest and seek professional help and 2. Resolve conflict without placing the

counsel in navigating these kinds of difficult

children in the middle. This means being

terrains after divorce.

objective about your kids needs and not Well that’s how kid’s internalize what you say

confusing them with your own. Compromise

Raising children between two homes is a

about their other parent. I’d even go as far as to

will need to become your new middle name.

challenging task. There is no such thing as a

say kids can feel when you even THINK bad

Do not use your child as the messenger. Ever.

perfect parent. Be kind to yourself, you will

thoughts about the other parent. That’s because

make mistakes. Be graceful to your ex, he/she

children are far more intuitive then we give

3. Communicate regularly with the other

will be mistakes, (many, many mistakes, you

them credit for. Their little minds sense and

parent. Essentially treat the other parent as

know waaaaay more than you will). Keep

feel things, we adults sometimes can be

you want to be treated. Don’t hold info like

trying. Children only have one childhood, let

desensitized to, especially because we are not

your child’s art show award ceremony

the them be little. You go on adulting. It’s not

made up of their parents, they are. You now

hostage simply because YOU don’t want

always fun, but I promise you, it will be

that saying, ain’t no one can talk about yo

to see your ex. Remember your child does.

worth it.

mama but you!

This may go without saying but there are So how does one co-parent successfully? How

cases where co-parenting isn’t possible. If

do we raise children in separate homes making

there was history of domestic violence, child

them feel wholly loved? I believe if you hold such animosity towards your ex, rule number one in co-parenting is to go get some help for

Photo by Jamie Allio

that. Mental health therapists are a wonderful resource for having someone to listen to you, help you process, problem solve, develop ways to cope with the adjustments of this new life, and can be an overall support system. I suggest surrounding yourself personally with friends and family who support your mission in life, to raise secure children. This means bestie can’t be bad mouthing your ex at the dinner table.

Even if you think the kids can’t read lips, or speak Spanish

☺. An atmosphere of no

negative parent talk must remain for the children to feel that they really are ok.

So you’re going to therapy, you’re working on

… “stuff”, now what? What if your

your umm

ex-partner does not do the same? Yeah. I know that happens. A lot. But let’s stick to just your commitment to your children ok Hopefully your co-parenting partner will see the light, but in the event that they don’t, you will know you did your part in this process. You can say you did right by your kids. Here are some practical guidelines for co-parenting success:

1. Treat your co-parenting partner with respect.

It provides a good model for your children.

Norina Verduzco-Murphy, MSW, LCSW is the kind of therapist you wish was your friend. She is

Disrespect towards the other parent very well

the wife of a military veteran and cancer-survivor as well as a mother of 2; a sweet and gentle boy

could get played out by the children (and remember the notion I mentioned above, children are both mom and dad, disrespect

with a Christ-like spirit and a funny, kind, high-spirited little girl. Norina is the sole owner of a thriving private practice she's built since 2007 in Upland, CA serving the Eastern Los Angeles County and the Inland Empire. She views her profession as not just a career but a calling. Come by and visit her at norinamurphylcsw.com or at https://www.facebook.com/NorinaMurphyLCSW/

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Do You Want To

BE WELL? John 5:1-9 “Some time later, Jesus went up to Jerusalem for one of the Jewish festivals. Now there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool, which in Aramaic is called Bethesda and which is surrounded by five covered colonnades.

Here a great number of disabled people used to lie—the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to be well?”

“Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”

Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.”

Can you picture this scene? Jesus asks a man who has been ill for a

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very long time if he wants to be well. A man who waited by a mystical pool everyday for the chance that maybe this time, he could be healed. At first it seems like a no brainer, a strange question for Jesus to ask. But I think it’s a question that He asks us all.

It may be hard to admit but sometimes sick people do not want to be well. This passage doesn’t apply to only physical health. We can be sick and ignoring it.

We can be harboring emotions that tear at the fiber of our hearts but we may think that if we are physically healthy, that we are well. Jesus wants us to be healthy in both our body and soul. So what are some of the areas we struggle?

The “workaholic.” The chaotic family member. The people-pleaser. The abuser. The friend who betrayed. The husband who cheated. The boss who overlooked you.

I think Jesus is shining a light in areas of our lives that need attention and kindly asking, “Do you want to be well?”

by Brianna VanderWeide

I think Jesus is shining a light in areas in our lives that need attention and kindly asking, "Do you want to be well?

You and me and this man have a story. We ALL have “38 years” of stuff. And it holds us back from being fully free.

It took a long time for me to realize that hanging on to hurt was something I was choosing. In John 14:27 Jesus made this promise, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

This is where I believe Godly counsel comes in.

Maybe you have a negative idea of what counseling is and who goes, but I would like to share my experience in the hopes that you are inspired to go at least once in your life. Here’s what I believe counseling really is: FREEDOM. Counseling is driven by relationship. It is a choice to care for yourself and others and your relationship with God. It is a surrender

says I am human and finite and because of this, I need help with what life throws at me. I want the best life I can have this side of heaven, so far as it is up to me. It speaks volumes to who you are and what you value.

Here’s what I have seen in the last decade of seeking counsel in various seasons: I went to counseling for the first time when my parents divorced. I was 19 and attending college, getting my degree in marriage and family counseling. To say this was hard is an understatement. I was watching my parent’s marriage end while being taught how to encourage marriages to stay together. It was painful, humbling, and it began my experience with vulnerability and the need to ask for help for my heart. I went a few years later while going through an internship and discovering some addictive behaviors and patterns that were not serving me well. I went after a

devastating breakup that led to the need for medication for the first time in my life and I had no idea until that point that depression and anxiety was an issue in my family tree.

I went when I moved away from my hometown to start my life as an independent and was faced with the word codependent, which now just seems a bit comical!

I went when I met my husband and recognized that maybe something in my heart still needed to be revealed. When the beauty of finally seeing something healthy and permanent stood before me, I wanted to run. And I wanted to stay. Counseling helped both my husband and I to address some personal things before marriage, so we did it alone, and then we did it together in pre-marital. We got married and had one of the hardest years of our lives, moving away from our community just a few days after our wedding, and then moving again all in a calendar year. We discovered that post-marital counseling is a genius concept and possibly more necessary than pre-marital, so we met with the pastor who married us to process all of the transition.

As I write this, I am planning to meet with a counselor to discuss some recent areas in my life I didn’t know were still hiding in crevices of my heart. Every season, I am being pruned in order to be made more fruitful. I am determined to be a woman of peace and freedom. Counseling is one way that I hold my hands out to Jesus, entrusting myself to Him and the people He has gifted with the ability to help transform us into His likeness through awareness, relationship, trust, and honesty.

I hope you can see how amazing it is that God would give us the opportunity to do life with others, to glean from the process of reflection, forgiveness, and healing. I hope you will give yourself and those you love the permission to be well. And I hope you won’t wait another day to begin the journey of making your home a dwelling place of peace.

If you would like counseling referrals, please contact Mending the Soul ministries (www.mendingthesoul.org)

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CLAIM VICTORY

By Robyn Baldwin Photo by Agnes Art & Photo

I

'll be honest. I’m not really sure how to write about homes. I’m not entirely sure how to transition from problem to victory in these next words. Some of us grow up in a house and not a home. Some of us moved around a lot and it was hard to establish a home. Some of our homes are more with people than in four walls. Growing up I had parents and siblings and a dog; the classic things that make up a “home.” But we also had problems and alcohol and fights and anger. There was and is love for sure, but there is also a whole lot of chaos, hurt, and pain.

There’s still tons of forgiveness needed, grace to be lavished, and love to be shared. However I’m finding that it’s okay to grieve the loss of what I had hoped my family

to be. It’s okay to experience sadness and hurt that relationships still aren’t mended and hurtful words are still spoken.

Sometimes, if I’m continuing on with this pattern of raw honesty; I don’t really believe God can or will heal my family.

Will addictions cease? Will communication ensue? Will hurt be laid aside again and again to pick up love, again and again? Will my parents ever find their marriage to be a joyful bond rather than a loathed handcuff? Even better, will my future marriage, family, and relationships carry on with these patterns of apathy towards problems? In my fear and my pessimism, I say yes.

my future family will inevitably turn into a fountain of hurt. I choose to fight for my family; present and future. I look forward to making my own home, and establishing a Christ-like love there. And yes, we will fail. I will fail. But I refuse to let my fear of failure keep me from establishing the type of home the deepest and sweetest part of my soul craves.

God is a God of redemption, and whether I see redemption in my immediate family now, or in my married family in the future, I am sure that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

And then, like a surge of adrenaline and a light in the dark, I say no. I claim victory. I refuse to buy into the lie that my family will only ever be a source of pain and that

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Home Is

BEAUTIFUL Article & Photos by Jennifer Stamps

Home. A simple word we probably use at least a dozen times a day. I’ll be home around 6pm. What do you want to do when you get home from school? How about we just stay at home tonight and instead of going out?

It’s referred to as a place. We see the cute little signs on the doors of entry ways, “Love makes this house a home.” But for me, it’s not a place. Never really has been a place.

Growing up my family moved. A lot. Across town, across the state, even across the country…four times. By the time I was a sophomore in high school, I was attending my ninth school.

And yet, I’ve always known what home was.

To me, it has never been about a place.

Home is what’s filled in that place.

Home is love. Home is laughter. Home is letting your hair down. Home is quality time. Home is family.

Now, as a mom, this has become even more important to me. I find myself wanting to create routine and traditions for my daughter and husband; for us as a family.

Our bedtime routine is the same. Every night. As she’s growing up and starting new things – she just turned one and feeding herself has become her new favorite thing – I find that sitting down together as a family for dinner is very important to me. Dancing to YouTube videos has become an

almost daily routine for us as well. These things don’t take a lot of time. To some people, these actions aren’t that important, but to me, these are the little things that make home home.

Home is my daughter and I dancing to Flo Rida, My House for the millionth time. Home is cuddling with my 75 pound lap dog. Home is talking until 2am with my husband about our dreams. Home is being allowed to have a bad day. Home is watching our daughter take her first steps. Home is laughing so hard I cry. Home is watching your husband play the guitar for your daughter. Home is creating memories, that no matter where we live, we will always remember.

Little things like this have become a cornerstone for love. And the only thing I can attribute that to, is my childhood. I didn’t have the same house to walk into every day after school my entire life like many, if not most, of my friends did. And that’s ok. I’m ok. More than ok, actually. My parents did a wonderful job of always making us feel at home, wherever we were. And it’s stuck with me all these years.

Home is love and laughter.

Home is family. Home is real. Home is beautiful.

WELCOME HOME

HOME

IS WHERE YOU MAKE IT AN INTERVIEW WITH KATE, AN AMERICAN EXPAT MAKING HER HOME ABROAD

INTERVIEW BY JESS WILLIAMS

Kate & I go way back. We've known each other for a good long time, but we really connected a couple of years ago just as her adventures overseas were beginning. She began writing for Stellar Day a year ago as a regular contributor and her heart to encourage and inspire people is huge. She's a great encouragement to me as a woman and as a mom and I'm so blessed to call her a friend.

I asked Kate if I could interview her this month because I thought she would be a huge inspiration.

She's currently living overseas with her family, redefining what "HOME" means in her daily life.

Learning a new culture, new country, and new language are all adventures on their own. But keeping your home together while living a lifestyle foreign to most, is something we can all learn from! Hear from her heart and how she's making anywhere she's at, a home!

1. You guys have a very inspiring lifestyle to many!

Can you explain a little bit about why you guys travel and live abroad like you do?

My husband is a foreign service officer with the Department of State. He works overseas at the US Embassy in the country we live (although, it is a Consulate here) in Political and Military affairs. We move to a new country every 2 years and sometimes Washington, DC between our tours. We are currently in our 2nd overseas assignment. Before here, we lived in Zimbabwe and Washington, DC. 2. Where are you guys living right now and how long do you plan to be there?

We are currently in Surabaya, Indonesia. I know, you might need to grab a map like I did when I found out!

We are planning to be here until Summer 2018.

56 3. What is the hardest thing about living in another country with little kids?

Believe it or not, I think it is harder on us sometimes than the kids. Overall, kids are adaptable and they will surprise you. The hardest part is being away from family and close friends. Thank goodness for FaceTime! But, when your kids ask if they can run over to Grandma’s house to play, it can break your heart. Friends are definitely a challenge and the greatest struggle we have here. We are currently living in a place with about ten American families (none of which have little kids), in a culture completely different than ours and a language we do not know.

For my social kids, it is hard when they don’t want to play with mom all day!

18 4. What is something that surprised you, in a good way, about living in another country?

The greatest blessing of living overseas has been the closeness of our family. We are the constant in a world of change. We have to rely on the Lord and each other more than we ever experienced in the States. It has brought Jeremy and I, as well as our kids, extremely close together and I pray that as our kids grow up, it will continue to be that way.

5. When you think about your home, what is the one thing that makes it FEEL like home, even though you are so far away from where you grew up?

We joke about the house all the time because it is furnished and not what you would normally pick out for yourself (Seriously, our house in Africa looked like the Brady Bunch…wood panels and all!). The one thing we always bring wherever we are is a TON of family pictures. Living in a day and age where everything is digital, we often tend to leave the photos we take on the computer. I have been diligent to print them out and we display them everywhere. Every wall, every room has memories of us as a family traveling all over the world and some just hanging out at home. All of our favorites. When I counted, we currently have over 60 framed on our walls and books of printed ones on the coffee table to flip through. The kids love to look at them and talk about the memories while at the same time, making new ones. We also have pictures of extended family and close friends hanging to see them every day as well. It makes our home personal. There are so many other things we do, but this stood out to me.

6. Are there certain things you do as a family or traditions that you do no matter where you live that make it feel like home?

We make American holidays a big deal overseas. We want our kids to experience some of the same things we loved about growing up and still be connected to America. So, every holiday is a party and we love to have other people over to experience our culture/traditions with us. You know, no matter where you live, it is not the walls around you that make it home.

Right before moving here, we lived in a hotel for 3 months and then temporary housing for another 3 months (after thinking we were just packing our bags and would be in our house that week). We only had the suitcases we had packed and only a few toys for the kids for those 6 months. What we thought was going to be incredibly hard because we weren’t in a “home” for the kids, ended up being a time of sweet memories. Time spent together and getting really creative. But, we were together. In those moments, watching my kids play with the couch pillows to make a fort, you realize that our home is us…together. Relying on each other and the Lord. Nothing else.

7. How do you go about choosing a place to live in a foreign country, having never lived there before?

Well, it is a crazy, long process. Long story short, we basically get a list of available places for when we are ready to move and make our list of choices we would be willing to go from what is available. Then, we get the notification of where we are headed! So, we have some idea but not fully where we are going until it happens. Things can also change and with both places we have lived so far, we had never stepped foot in that country before. It is a leap of faith and we trust the Lord that He will put us where He needs us to be to serve our country.

8. What are your plans for the future and where do you plan to possibly live next? (if you can share) No idea! :) We take it a year at a time and never know where the next place will be.

9. Having traveled and moved around quite a bit with your little family, what is a piece of advice that you would give to a woman or mama who is getting ready to move her family again or for the first time?

It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to be sad, to miss the life you have always known, but don’t let it hold you back. Take the leap of faith and rest in the Lord. He will bless you in ways you would never have begun to dream about if you had stayed. I know it’s hard, but it is also so rewarding! And know also that kids will have an adjustment time so be patient with them. It took my kids a few months to get back to their “normal selves” but they will…don’t worry!

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Kate on Instagram at

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surfandsafari to see more of her adventures across seas

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How To Knit

A Throw Pillow Cover Article & Photos by Sharayah Fonyad

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here is something so fulfilling and special about filling your home with things that you made yourself. Not only does it keep the cost of home decorating down, but it creates a space really unique to you and your family. One simple creative touch that can make a big impact in the overall feel of your home is throw pillows! They can make any space look put together, and they add an element of comfort and coziness. There are many ways that you can create your own throw pillows and one way that I did that was by knitting one! I had a throw pillow that was the exact same color as our couch and it needed an upgrade to make it look like more of an “accent.”

So I watched some YouTube videos and learned how to knit! If I can do it, so can you! I have found knitting to be very relaxing and I usually take that time to enjoy listening to worship music, playing the audio bible, or just sitting in quiet talking to Jesus.

What You Will Need: (see above photo) Pillow form (mine was 17x17inches) Knitting needles (I used US8 5.5mm) 4 balls of Yarn that are approximately 210 yards each (I used size 4, Patons Classic Wool in Winter White) Knitting/embroidery needle Buttons Scissors DIRECTIONS ARE ON THE NEXT PAGE

STEP ONE Cast on 80-85 stitches for a 17x17 pillow form. If you are using a smaller or larger pillow form, alter the number of stitches accordingly.

If you aren’t sure how to “cast on” to your knitting needles, go ahead and jump on You Tube to find some video tutorials. Practice until you feel comfortable.

STEP TWO I decided to stick to the simple “Knit Stitch,” which is also to referred to as the “Garter Stitch.” Knit with the hand that you feel most comfortable with, but I use my right hand. If you do it that way, make sure you are holding the knitting in your left hand, and the “working yarn” in your right. Essentially you are “transferring” the knitting stitches from the needle in your left hand, to the needle in your right hand. As you do that, your knitting will grow!

STEP THREE Knit each stitch until you get to the end of the row. Once you reach the end, switch the needles around so that your left hand is holding the knitting again, and your right hand starts by holding the now ‘empty’ needle. Keep knitting until you feel like it is long enough. Use your pillow form as a guide and test out the length when you feel like you are getting close to the end. For my pillow, 140 rows would have completely covered the pillow, but since I wanted to create a little flap, I knit about 40 more rows.

STEP FOUR Once your knitting has become long enough, it’s time to cast off! If you aren’t comfortable casting off, jump back onto You Tube and watch some video tutorials. This step is very easy, so don’t worry!

STEP FIVE Now that your knitting has been cast off, it’s time to do a little sewing.

What we will do is sew up the sides so that the pillow can fit in! If you decided to knit more rows to create a flap, use your pillow form as a guide to show you where you need to start sewing, and how much knitting you need to leave for the flap.

STEP SIX Once you have marked where you need to start sewing. Use your knitting/embroidery needle to weave your yarn in an out of your stitches on one side of the pillow.

STEP SEVEN If you aren’t working with a flap, slide your pillow in and sew up the right side with the pillow in it. Try your best to sew using a blind stitch.

This can be achieved by folding the sides you need to sew together in, and then inserting your needle to weave the yarn in and out.

If you are working with a flap, sew the right sides together and then turn it inside out so that the sewing seam is hidden on the inside.

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STEP EIGHT If you aren’t working with a flap your pillow is complete and ready to be placed in a cozy place in your home.

If you are working with a flap, slide your pillow form into your knitted pillow case from the top and fold over the flap.

STEP NINE Now it’s time to add your buttons and include your own creative touches. Since I wanted to be able to slide the pillow in and out I decided to sew the buttons only on top flap. To make sure the flap stays down, I threaded some yarn through both sides of the pillow and tied a bow. The bow can easily be untied if I need to get the pillow out.

STEP TEN You are finished! Enjoy your pillow and be proud of what you accomplished, even if it didn’t turn out like the ‘Pinterest worthy’ creation you envisioned in your head ;) EXTRA NOTE: While creating DIY projects for your home is fulfilling and can bring a sense of accomplishment, “do it yourself” projects can often be unpredictable. Since I wasn’t working with a pattern, I had to create one with the vision I had in my head of what I wanted it to look like in the end. I encountered many snags along the way and had to problem solve my way out of them. This discouraged me at first but then I realized that these “issues” I had to solve only made my pillowcase more special. My whole imagination and heart went into creating it and I didn’t give up on it even when I realized I had dropped multiple stitches and there were holes in my knitting! I hope this encourages you to not be afraid to try new things, be creative, and make things for your home that you are proud of. And no matter the outcome, always remember to enjoy the process along the way!

Happy knitting!

Sharayah Fonyad is a photographer based out of Atlanta, Georgia where she lives with her husband. She enjoys traveling, Netflix, having people over, making meals with her husband and loves a good homemade brownie. You can click here to follow more of Sharayah's photography, lifestyle work and travel adventures.

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HOW TO FILL A WALL SPACE

IN YOUR HOME

By Christine Cram

When my husband and I bought our home years ago, I could not wait to start decorating. I absolutely love to decorate. I always dreamt about making a house a home, but honestly that s not about filling it with stuff. The people that fill your house make it a home. But there is something about creating a specific space that gets me really excited.

The possibilities are literally endless. I know it can be overwhelming to thinking about decorating, so I m here to help. I have a couple ways to show you from my actual home to help you utilize wall space. ’

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Blank wall space is a bit overwhelming if you have no idea what you want to do. I recommend hanging pictures, signs, banners, and other decorations that suit your style.

Basically anything that means something special to you. I am a big fan of pictures and have found that putting pictures in all different types of frames really adds something to a dead wall space.

One way to fill a wall space is by hanging empty picture frames. As shown in the photo, I spray painted each frame the same color, then rearranged them the way I liked them.

That s it. So easy. This actually fills quite a bit of our wall space. At first I had no idea what I wanted to do, then thought about this idea and made it happen. This can also be fairly inexpensive. I went to a lot of Goodwill s and garage sales to find cheap frames. Spray paint is an amazing tool, friends. ’

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Another fun decorating idea is to rest a shutter against the wall and hang things, such as a banner, a planter, or a wreath like the one pictured my friend over at The Felt Flower Shop made this wreath, go check her stuff out, she s amazing . I have found this technique to be so simple and a great way to fill an empty space. (

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I made this Home sweet home sign years ago. I found the wood on the side of the street yep I am one of those crazy ladies who finds treasures with other peoples trash and then painted the home letters white and spray painted lace over the sweet letters. Add a few decorative flowers and boom. One huge piece that fills space. “

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I hope you enjoyed my ideas on how to fill those empty wall spaces in your own home.

STELLAR DAY MAGAZINE | 25

There's no place like HOME

Easy Chicken Caesar Salad SHARED BY JESSICA WILLIAMS FOLLOW JESS ON PINTEREST!

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Click Here

*Original recipe can be found HERE

I did not invent the chicken caesar salad. I sorta wish I did though because mmm, mmm, good! I found this recipe on Pinterest, and wanted to share it! It's a very easy recipe for those warmer nights when you need something fresh and quick! It basically begs to be eaten outside under twinkly string lights with some kind of cold beverage with a fun straw! Happy dinner in your own homes!! Small note- I purchased a vegan dressing (pictured above) instead of making my own. Vegan dressings are my jam.

You Will Need: -2 whole boneless, skinless chicken breasts -1 Tbsp garlic powder -2 Tbsp dried parsley -Pinch of salt -7 oz shortcut bacon, diced -2 hardboiled eggs -romaine or Italian spring lettuce -1 avocado -1/2 C shaved parmesan cheese

1. Rub the chicken with the garlic powder, parsley flakes, and salt.

Heat a non stick skillet with olive oil and let chicken cook all the way through in the skillet, frying until golden on both sides.

2. Remove chicken from pan and set aside to cool a bit, then dice up.

3. While chicken is cooling, cook bacon in the skillet until cooked through. Dice or slice up into bite size pieces.

4. Combine lettuce, chicken, bacon strips, eggs, avocado, and shaved parmesan cheese and mix to combine. Pour over the dressing, mixing well and serve! We had some garlic toast on hand so we added that as a side as well.

So easy and SO yummy. Add it to your summer meals this season for a healthy option and a quick dinner.

STELLAR DAY MAGAZINE | 27

WELCOME HOME

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Big Hugs.

Super thankful for you.

Editor in Chief Jessica Williams Associate Editor Jennifer Stamps Contributors Brianna VanderWeide Christine Cram Esther Gallagher Jennifer Stamps Kate Williams Nicole Thompson Rennai Hoefer Robyn Baldwin Sarah Costa Sarah Trapp Columnists Brianna VanderWeide Christine Cram Esther Gallagher Jennifer Stamps Jessica Williams Kate Williams Nicole Thompson Rina Murphy Robyn Baldwin Sharayah Fonyad Special Thanks Agnes & Art Photo for Cover Photo & photos throughout AFC Junk In The Trunk Vintage Market Nine Retreat Jay & Jess Photography Tarryn Keopke, Photographer for Being Home

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EDITOR'S NOTE

Jessica Williams EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Everyone's perception of what a home should be and look like, varies entirely on a lot of different things. What did your home look like growing up? Where did you live? What did you always dream that your home would look like?

Does it look different than you thought?

I hope this issue encourages you and helps you see and realize that we are ALL trying to figure out what "HOME" should look like. No one has it all figured out, all the way. We are all still adjusting, growing, learning and trying new things to find and make our place in the world.

And that's ok.

Be encouraged sweet sister, your home is as beautiful as you are. Is it filled with heart, love, safety, rest, and dreams? I can't think of any better things than those to fill a home.

The rest will fall into place.

And if it doesn't look exactly like what you thought or always wanted, we have the power to change it, to grow it, and to make our normal what is acceptable in this world. Pinterest is fun, but we don't need it to tell us what is beautiful.

Be confident in the space that you choose to call home, and remember what I said: It's as beautiful as YOU are. And you are.

STELLAR DAY MAGAZINE