Steel This Magazine Issue 4 by Steel This Magazine

Entrepreneurial Aptitude

SHREDDING AT 13

how to: start a restaurant with $750

an interview with cameron nino, the guitarist and lead singer of seventh nova

MEANWHILE, BACK ON THE FARM an introduction to urban farming in pittsburgh

ART GOES POP

luca paganico chats with us about his career in the creative realm

PROTOTYPE the story of pittsburgh’s first feminist makerspace

‘SHROOMS

MATTERS OF THE HEART you asked, they answered. relationship advice for singles in the steel city

because sports pro mascots and why we hate them

hunting the elusive morel

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And A Crossword Puzzle, Too

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the story of pittsburghâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s first feminist makerspace

THIS KID SLAYS: an interview with cameron nino, the thirteen-year-old guitarist and lead singer of seventh nova

CHICKEN SH*T:

an introduction to urban farming in pittsburgh

UNDER THE PAINT: luca paganico, chats with steel this magazine about his career in the creative realm

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Staff:

Publisher - John Dubosky Editor In Chief - Ernie Pantusso Creative Director/Graphic Design - Kelli Koladish Head of Photography - Brian Volinic Contributing Writers - Bob Stallsmith, Jennifer Klountz, Amy Maurine Edwards, Professor Buzzkill, Skipper Anderson, Colleen Shuda, and Stan Gummo Crossword Puzzle - Daniel Finan

MATTERS OF THE HEART: raise your hand if you need dating advice. that’s most of you. susan dunhoﬀ is here to give us all a few pointers.

Entrepreneurial Aptitude: a steel this magazine exclusive with restaurateur fiore moletz

steel this crossword: daniel finan does it again. try not to cheat

‘SHROOMS: hunting the elusive morel

BECAUSE SPORTS: the pirate parrot, the greatest symbol of terror from my childhood

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ameron Nino is grabbing a snack after school when I call for our interview. His mom answers and tells me he’ll be there shortly. At the time, Nino had just performed at a pre-Grammy party at the El Ray Theater in Los Angeles, celebrating the success of his band, Seventh Nova’s new single, On The Floor. This was to be the first time I had spoken with Nino, (born Cameron Nwede). His reputation had preceded him; I had seen and heard his work previously, and I was impressed. At the age of 13, he’s already performing, writing, and recording music at a professional level. Guitar is his primary instrument, but, with a cloning device, he could feasibly also be his own backing band. He sings, and he’s proficient at drums, guitar, and piano. “Next up is the cello. I just want to add to the music I already know. I like learning a lot of instruments and I just want to have more fun with it,” Nino said as we chatted after school. He’s been playing since he was eight years old and has already, at the age of 13, worked with an impressive roster of musicians, most notably Sheldon Reynolds, guitarist and lead vocalist for, Earth Wind and Fire. Seventh Nova is in and out of studios, practice rooms, and concert halls around Los Angeles, where Nino lives. A West Coast resident, Nino is no stranger to Pittsburgh. “I love Pittsburgh. My mom’s from there, my grandpa, everyone I know basically. If there was any other place I could live, it would definitely be Pittsburgh. I love the Steelers, go Pens!,” Nino said.

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Watching him play, it’s obvious that his command of the stage is rare for such a young artist. He banters with crowds, sings on key, and has a versatile style of guitar playing, switching from rhythm to lead effortlessly. “He’s got a huge personality, he’s got personality written all over him,” Kimmarie Johnson, his mother, said. His stage presence seems unchallenging to him in large part because of dedication and hours of repetition. “I play music every single day. I have to put in an hour and a half or I can’t believe I’ve really practiced. You get 24 hours a day, there’s time,” Nino said.

Photo by: Robert John Photography

His schedule isn’t for the faint of heart, although you wouldn’t know that by talking to him. On the phone, he’s engaging, attentive, and full of energy for somebody who had already knocked out a day of school and had basketball practice, homework, and almost two hours of guitar playing ahead of him. As daunting as that may seem, he says it’s worth it. “Working, practicing, doing stuff multiple times, for hours a day, it’s not easy at all. I love it, but it’s very diﬃcult, hard, repetitive. Once I get on stage, I feel all that hard work kick in, the confidence, I feel confident on stage, and after, it’s just amazing. When my music reaches people, to make people smile, to make people happy, to make them have fun, to relieve their problems and get them out of their life for a bit, that’s fantastic to me,” said Nino. He’ll need to keep up the hard work if he wants to realize his goals. They’re a tall order, he expects a lot from himself. But when you look at what this guy has accomplished, it’s not hard to see something like this happening: “When I grow up, I’m not gonna do just one thing. I’m gonna play basketball, guitar, write, perform. My one goal, my one dream in my life is that I’m going to be in the championship final game in the NBA (for The Lakers or maybe Oklahoma City), and before I get into the game, I play the Star Spangled Banner,” Nino said.

Even though he’s a very impressive kid all around, perhaps his most striking attribute is his down-to-earth nature, (despite some lofty goals). He recognizes how stressful the entertainment business can be. His advice: persevere, but have fun with it. “If you have something you want to accomplish- do it. If you love something so much you’d want to do it for your life- that’s the one thing you need to do. Just because you think you love it, doesn’t mean there will be times when you don’t like it. There’s a lot of hard work that goes into anything you want to do, doesn’t matter what it is. Even a riff on the guitar that’s super-fast, it takes hard work,” Nino said. The next time you catch up with him, you might be buying tickets to one of his shows. Or maybe, you’ll be watching him from your couch during March Madness. One thing’s for sure, this kid is dedicated, talented, and on the path to something great.

You can catch Cameron Nino perform with, Seventh Nova this summer at CitiPark’s Live In Schenley Park concert. You can find Nino on facebook, Twitter, Soundcloud, and Reverb Nation. You can hear his new single, On The Floor, on iTunes, Amazon, Google Play, and CameronNino.com. SPRING 2017

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Chicken

AN INTRO TO URBAN FARMING IN PITTSBURGH By: Colleen Shuda

he desire to raise chickens may seem uncharacteristic for a girl who grew up in the concrete jungle of Philadelphia. From their dinosaur legs and talons to their timid clucks and delicious eggs, I’ve been enamored by these animals for years. I know what you’re thinking. Chickens? Really? But don’t you live in a city? Most cities have strict zoning laws which regulate the keeping of farm animals and Pittsburgh was one of them. I didn’t care. I was ready to be a poultry outlaw… a fugitive farmer who was not going to let The Man get between me and my freerange, grass-fed, happy chickens producing farm fresh eggs. The process to request a permit for chickens was expensive and time-consuming, and did not seem to come with a high rate of success for applicants. I wasn’t going to let some red tape and paperwork scare me. My chickens and I would be just fine living in sin. Then I started to hear talk of significant changes to Pittsburgh’s Urban Agriculture Zoning Code, which was followed by City Council’s approval in July 2015. My dream was suddenly becoming more plausible than ever, and legal, too!

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“These eggs come from cage-free chickens! They must be happy chickens!” Not true. Raising chickens has brought me to a much higher level of awareness when it comes to the living conditions of the animals that we eat. Beware of industry jargon meant to trick you into thinking the animals are treated better than they really are. You’ll notice a common theme of what people refer to as, “access to the outdoors.” This is not nearly as glamorous as you wish it would be. There is little to define a required amount of time or quality of the outdoor space provided. These terms are purely a marketing strategy, and do not accurately represent the tortured lives that most chickens in the egg industry must live. Colleen Shuda at her home in Polish Hill with her chickens, Dorothy and Ethel, and her dog, Otto. Photo by: Sam Shephard.

My advice? Shop local. See the explanations below to understand the industry lingo and shop smarter. Cage FreeAccording to the USDA: “Eggs packed in USDA grademarked consumer packages labeled as cage free must be produced by hens housed in a building, room, or enclosed area that allows for unlimited access to food, water, and provides the freedom to roam within the area during the laying cycle.” Free-RangeAccording to the USDA: “Eggs packed in USDA grademarked consumer packages labeled as free-range must be produced by hens housed in a building, room, or area that allows for unlimited access to food, water, and continuous access to the outdoors during their laying cycle. The outdoor area may be fenced and/or covered with netting-like material.” OrganicAccording to the USDA: “Eggs marked with the USDA’s National Organic Program label come from uncaged hens that are free to roam in their houses and have access to the outdoors. The hens are fed an organic diet of feed produced without conventional pesticides or fertilizers.” Grass-FedAccording to The Humane Society, “Ruminant animals are fed a diet solely comprised of grass and forage, with the exception of milk consumed before they are weaned. These animals have access to the outdoors and are able to engage in some natural behaviors, such as grazing. They must have continuous access to pasture during the growing season (defined as “the time period extending from the average date of the last frost in spring to the average date of the first frost in the fall in the local area of production”).” I guess a few months of grazing is better than none, but what about the rest of the year? NaturalAccording to the USDA, “This term simply means that nothing was added to the egg. All eggs meet this criteria.” Local or Locally RaisedAccording to the USDA Grademarked Product Label Submission Checklist, “Shell eggs must originate from a source flock(s) located less than 400 miles from the processing facility or within the state in which the eggs originated from and were processed in.” Humanely RaisedAccording to the Humane Society, “The animals must be kept in conditions that allow for exercise and freedom of movement. As such, crates, cages and tethers are prohibited. Outdoor access is not required for poultry or pigs, but is required for other species. Poultry may have parts of their beaks removed without painkiller, though not after 10 days of age.” The following terms have NO relevance when it comes to the treatment or well-being of the animals: Vegetarian-fed, Natural, Farm Fresh, Fertile, Omega-3 enriched, or pasteurized.

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WHAT TO KNOW BEFORE RAISING CHICKENS:

DO YOUR RESEARCH The internet can be a helpful, yet overwhelming and confusing companion on your journey to raise chickens. Don’t always trust the first source that you stumble upon. Join message boards, search for local groups on social media, subscribe to blogs. Find a few reliable sources that relate best to your situation. Other local chicken owners have been life savers during some of my hardest times. Here are a few of my favorite resources: a. “Support backyard chickens and bees in Pittsburgh!” Facebook page b. “Backyard Chickens” Facebook page: www.backyardchickens.com and c. www.pittsburghpropoultrypeople.blogspot.com/ PLAN A ROUTINE It’s relatively easy to care for chickens, but you need to establish a routine that involves checking in on them a few times a day. You will need to let them out of the coop and collect the eggs every morning. At night, you need to make sure they are safe and secure back in their coop. Have a backup helper ready in case you are away or unexpectedly not able to be home. PREP YOUR YARD, COOP, & MATERIALS Your coop must be well ventilated, but secure from predators. Pittsburgh is not home to many animals you would consider dangerous to humans, but there are plenty of creatures that would love to eat your chickens, and their eggs. Raccoons, foxes, hawks, stray dogs, rats, and others will sneak their way in if possible. You can never be too careful! Chickens require a balanced diet. I suggest a brand of feed that is specific to egg layers. You can give your ladies fruits and veggies as treats, but be sure to do this sparingly so they don’t begin to rely on this and therefore refuse their feed. Use good judgement when it comes to cleaning out your refrigerator. If you wouldn’t eat those moldy strawberries from last week, neither should they. Always do your research before feeding something new to your flock. Chickens sometimes need calcium supplemented into their diet. Without the proper amount, you can get soft or deformed eggshells. Some people give their chickens access to oyster shell while others simply clean and grind up the old egg shells. I do a mix of both and leave a supply for the hens to graze as needed. If you let your chickens free range, you’ll notice they will quickly dig out a spot in your yard for their dust baths. It’s one of my favorite things to watch and it never fails to make me giggle. If you can’t free range your chickens, be sure you create an area for their dust baths. With a quick online search, you’ll get a lot of useful tips on this! THINK ABOUT WEATHER CONDITIONS Chickens are very resilient birds, but you must be ready to care for them in every season. In winter, be sure they have access to an area that can offer shelter from the wind. Dehydration is not only a concern in the summer! If you don’t plan on having a heated waterer, be sure that you can change their water a few times throughout the day. In the summer, chickens should have access to plenty of shade and fresh water. BE PREPARED FOR INJURIES & ILLNESS It’s good to be proactive here. Make sure you have necessary items in case you face injury or illness in your flock. In addition to items you would find in a typical first aid kit (always do your research to make sure items are chicken safe!) I’d suggest the following: a. Dog crate for separating sick/recuperating chicken from the flock. b. Vetericyn animal-safe wound and skin care spray. c. Hemorrhoid cream- this can help ease the swelling related to a prolapsed vent. d. Petroleum jelly- can prevent frostbite on feet, combs and wattles BE PREPARED TO MAKE TOUGH DECISIONS No one wants to think about losing an animal, but you have to be prepared in the event of a fatal injury or illness. Your typical vet may not be able to treat your chicken. I had a chicken (RIP Judith <3) with a fatal prolapsed vent only a few months into my chicken adventure. Even though we did all that we could prior to making the decision to euthanize her, it was extremely heartbreaking. If you become as attached to your chickens as I am, there will likely be tears and feelings of guilt. For me, the comfort came in knowing that she lived a pampered life and I did all that I could to save her.

I’m sure there are differing opinions on letting your animals die a natural death as opposed to a humane euthanasia. There are a lot of great resources on how to properly and humanely do this if the situation arises. SPRING 2017

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FROM CHICKEN OUTLAW TO LEGAL URBAN FARMER: UNDERSTANDING THE PITTSBURGH URBAN AGRICULTURE ZONING CODE ZONING INFO: “Urban Agriculture (Accessory Use) With Animals” classification under “Urban Agriculture Zoning code” allows for the housing of chickens, ducks, goats and/or bees where there is a separate primary use. Up to five chickens or ducks are permitted with a minimum lot size of 2,000 sq ft, and an additional chicken or duck is permitted for each additional 1,000 sq ft. Exactly two miniature goats are permitted on lots 2,000 sq ft to 10,000 sq ft that do not also have chickens or ducks. Two full-size goats are permitted on lots over 10,000 sq ft. WHAT IS THE APPLICATION PROCESS? Applications begin at the Division of Zoning and Development Review, 200 Ross St, 3rd floor. The office hours are Monday-Friday 8 AM - 3 PM. Applicants must provide a scaled survey or site plan of the property, valid photo ID and check or money order payable to “Treasurer City of Pittsburgh.” Once Zoning approval is obtained, the applicant must finish the application process with the Department of Permits, Licenses and Inspections. WHAT NEEDS TO BE ON MY SITE PLAN? The site plan must include: • Property address and parcel number • Name and contact information for property owner • Entire lot, including dimensions • Scale of drawing • Existing structures, including fencing and sheds • Location and height of any proposed accessory structures, including storage sheds/containers, coops, hives and fencing • Location and height of any proposed landscaping or fencing attributed to a flyway • Distance between accessory structures and neighboring properties WHAT ARE THE FEES? The fee for a Certificate of Occupancy is $70. While this fee will cover most residential accessory use applications, some structures may require additional review depending on the zone, size of the lot, size of the structures and conformity with the setback requirements. If the application includes structures that require additional review, such as Site Plan Review, additional fees may be assessed. I AM INTERESTED IN KEEPING BEES, CHICKENS OR GOATS BUT MY PROPERTY IS LESS THAN 2,000 SQ FT. WHAT CAN I DO? You may apply for a Variance from the Zoning Board of Adjustments. The Board will consider the specific circumstances of your property and determine whether or not to grant the variance. This process involves a hearing in front of the Board and can take approximately 4-5 months.

PROTOTYPE

THE STORY OF PITTSBURGHâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S FIRST FEMINIST MAKERSPACE. By: Amy Maurine Edwards

Photos By: Devon Dill www.devondill.com

Makerspace: mak·er·space noun: makerspace; plural noun: makerspaces a place where people with shared interests, particularly in computing or techonology, can gather to work on projects while sharing knowledge, ideas, and equipment.

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- The English Oxford Dictionary

rin Oldynski and E. Louise Larson are the founders of Prototype, a feminist makerspace in the Bloomcraft building of Pittsburgh’s North Oakland neighborhood. Together, they’ve built a space for feminist makers in the city that expounds a DIY ethic and have united a collective of like-minded fabricators. Their mission statement, taken from prototypepgh. com, states, “We see Prototype as a space where feminists of all genders are welcome to make things, fail quickly, and find the support to start all over again.” Prototype also provides a forum for many feminist teachers and makers to share their skills with a larger audience. Artist, Jenn Gooch and recording engineer, Madeleine Campbell, both teach workshops for Prototype. They each have their own studios in the Bloomcraft building, adjacent to Prototype. Mary Mulvihill and Hadley Pratt are also regular teachers that lead workshops for the BoXZY 3-in-1 CNC desktop milling machine/3D printer/ laser engraver and are available during Open Swim sessions to help makers with the machine. “When thinking about people to do workshops with, it was easy since there are so many talented artists in this city — we are really privileged to know a lot of amazing makers and educators in Pittsburgh,” Larson said. As important as access to this equipment, the lectures given at Prototype are varied and pertinent to maker’s daily lives. Oldynski recently facilitated a workshop on how to negotiate a salary raise. Just before the workshop was scheduled to begin, she found out that her partner would have to work at the same time as she would be facilitating. As she had no childcare available on such short notice, she decided to bring her son with her. At first she was nervous, but that nervousness quickly dissipated to relief as she explained the situation to the workshop attendees. Everyone chipped in and took turns playing with and distracting her son. “I left that workshop feeling very empowered and supported,” Oldynski said. She knows firsthand the importance of childcare for makers. Prototype is working toward providing childcare during all workshops, and is currently offered every Thursday evening. Miriam Devlin, a general contractor who teaches a woodshop class for Prototype, recently talked about the ways that binary standards of dressing have been socially conditioned to interfere with work. Long hair gets caught in rotary equipment; jewelry, rings, flowing dresses, and other adornments prevent those wearing them from engaging in certain types of work. Most Prototype workshops

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provide a larger sociological context or anecdote before engaging in the content. “Almost all classes have conversations about the contributions of women to each field, and personal stories of [the instructor’s] experiences in the field,” Larson said. The history of Prototype can be traced back to when Oldynski and Larson met while working as independent contractors for The Sprout Fund in 2014. They were instructors for Sprout’s Digital Corps program, conducted at the JeronX Grayson Community Center in the Hill District, where they taught skills such as robotics and basic computer programming. At the time, Oldynski was two months into motherhood with her first child and not sleeping much. Sharing the technology with her students was one of the only things that brought her out of the house. “Working with Louise and Digital Corps was a reintroduction to life and the professional world after becoming a mother,” Oldynski said. Larson and Oldynski would often stay late after Digital Corps, imagination and inspiration abounding. The two have been involved in a multitude of projects, both together and independently, in Pittsburgh, and cite a slow growth towards the merging of their common interests and the inception of Prototype. After the Digital Corps program, Larson secured herself the position of education manager at TechShop, a commercial makerspace in Bakery Square, and later hired Oldynski as a Summer Camp instructor. She then created a fulltime position to keep Oldynski on board as Youth Education Manager, a science, technology, education, art, and mathematics, (STEAM) position that she enjoyed for a year.

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Oldynski founded the Pittsburgh Zine Fair in 2011 and later organized The Feminist Zine Fest. The Pittsburgh Zine Fair had grown to the point of self-sufficiency and she has since handed off the project in order to focus on other endeavors. When Oldynski took the job as a summer camp instructor for TechShop, she already possessed a background in teaching, but lacked the experience with tech and robotics. To remedy this, she enrolled in classes at TechShop to familiarize herself with the equipment and thereby gained the proficiency and confidence to teach basic engineering and design concepts. After a year as TechShop’s STEAM Manager, she is now the Senior Account Manager, and is focused on securing foundation support so that low income students from nearby neighborhoods, such as Homewood, Wilkinsburg, and East Liberty, have access to TechShop. Larson moved to Pittsburgh five years ago from Montana, where she co-owned a screen printing company with a Pittsburgh expat. “What brought me to Pittsburgh was a one-year technology consulting job. After my contract was up I wanted to stay in this city and was hired by Assemble,” Larson said. Wasting no time since her arrival, she’s been active in a number of initiatives that she describes as an, “education, art-making, technology matrix.” She has worked at the STEAM focused experiential learning space, Assemble, located on Garfield’s Penn Ave. Currently, she is involved with Manifesto Moto, a DIY, community-oriented workspace for motorcycle enthusiasts. Prototype views the city as their makerspace with the Bloomcraft location as a hub in which to birth ideas. The Bloomcraft building

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Erin Oldynski and E.Louise Larson. Photo by: Devon Dill www.devondill.com

and community of makers contained therein is inarguably important to them, but partnerships and off-site presences provide them with flexibility. Louise describes this as a “Rhizomatic concept — the city as their makerspace — a larger ecosystem of makers that are all connected and can pop up where ever necessary.” To this end, Erin and Louise want Prototype to be able to sustain itself if they were ever to step back. “The future of Prototype should reflect those using the space and what is needed at that time. We are taking a nimble approach toward this project.” I sat down with Oldynski and Larson on a sunny Sunday afternoon to learn more about Prototype and how their first couple of months have been forging forward: Why is access to Prototype and its tools/network important for Pittsburgh women in particular? Women who work in the fields of science, technology, engineering, and math (STEM) continue to be under-represented. We decided to create a makerspace that would be explicit about its

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mission to engage women, gender variant people, and feminists of all genders in hands-on STEM learning as a way to combat this inequity. How many members do you currently have? How many are ideal? Do you have a long-term vision, or strategy, for growth and expansion? Prototype currently has 150 members and is still growing. We think of the whole city as our makerspace, so there is no limit to the number of members we can have. We are not bound by the walls of Prototype, so keep those membership applications rolling in! How did you decide that the Bloomcraft building was the appropriate location for Prototype? Bloomcraft is home to dozens of incredible artists, makers, musicians, and activists from all over Pittsburgh, so we knew that we would be in good company. We share our corridor with amazing folks like Accessible Recording, 1Hood Media, Prevention Point, WERK, and Just Seeds, to name only a few of our neighbors.

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Photo by: Devon Dill www.devondill.com

How do you feel about Prototype’s reception since inception? Were there any initial goals that you hit or any otherwise unexpected reactions to the project? We were amazed by the number of people who came to our Grand Opening in January. About 400 people came to check out our space and tour the Bloomcraft building. People who live in other cities have reached out to us about collaborating from places like Toronto, LA, and New York City. The reception was really affirming. It is clear that this space is not only wanted, but needed. Do your workshops/tutorials or Open Swim sessions seem to be more popular? Open Swim being “a time to work on your projects, learn a new tool, and meet your fellow Prototypers.” What are the most utilized items at Open Swim? Our premier equipment is BoXZY, and we have two of these 3-in-1 CNC desktop milling machines / 3D printers / laser engravers. People can come to a workshop to learn how to use BoXZY and

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then stop by during an Open Swim to work on it. We are currently open about 30 hours a week and staffed by a dozen dedicated volunteers. If you stop by during one of our Open Swim times, you will find people like Jayla Patton and Anny Chen, two knowledgeable instructors who have a ton of experience in design. Jayla teaches classes at Prototype on animation using Adobe Flash and painting using Adobe Photoshop. Anny is a fashion designer with a background in architecture. Currently our Open Swim hours are every Thursday and Friday from 12-9pm, and Saturday and Sunday from 12-4pm. Are you currently seeking additional makers and artists to offer classes and workshops? Yes! We are always open to getting more workshop proposals from artists and makers of all backgrounds. Please fill out the “get involved” form on our website. Our workshops are currently booked through March so we are looking for April workshops.

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“It takes a lot to feel comfortable around new equipment. We joke that our function is to serve as a place for people to get their feet wet before they get their hands dirty.”

We are not the end-all be-all makerspace. It takes a lot to feel comfortable around new equipment. We joke that our function is to serve as a place for people to get their feet wet before they get their hands dirty. Just putting yourself out there, like in taking a class, is a starting point for learning a new skill.

The most unique attribute of our space is its size. Although our headquarters is small, we are collaborating with other organizations, like TechShop, to create programming all across the city. This allows us to create unique partnerships, apply for grants, or offer joint classes at other locations. We are actively seeking grants, sponsorships, and continued membership fees for sustaining Prototype. As a small space with big ideas, community support is critical to us. Most recently, we received grant support from the Sprout Fund, as well as donations from community members. Both of which allow us to offer free and low cost programs. Maker-related spaces like TechShop, HackPGH, Assemble, AlphaLab, Bunker Projects, and Filmmakers have also been very supportive of this endeavor. Prototype was just awarded grant funding from The Sprout Fund’s 100 Days campaign. What was the purpose of the 100 Days campaign and what will this funding enable Prototype to do that they otherwise would not, or would not have been able to as quickly? The purpose of the 100 Days grant is to engage in community building during the first 100 days of the new presidential administration. Our goal is to engage 100 women in hands-on STEM workshops in the first 100 days of the Trump presidency, and we are well on our way to doing it. Without this funding we would need to rely on membership donations much more. Are your memberships tax-deductible, and are contributions made through purchases on your Amazon wishlist also tax-deductible? Yes! Contact us for details at prototype.pgh@gmail.com Prototype views the city as their makerspace with the Bloomcraft location as a hub in which to birth ideas. The Bloomcraft building and community of makers contained therein is inarguably important to them, but partnerships and off-site presences provide them with flexibility. Louise describes this as a “Rhizomatic concept — the city as their makerspace — a larger ecosystem of makers that are all connected and can pop up where ever necessary.” To this end, Erin and Louise want Prototype to be able to sustain itself if they were ever to step back. “The future of Prototype should reflect those using the space and what is needed at that time. We are taking a nimble approach toward this project.

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ARTIST, DESIGNER, AND ALL AROUND NICE GUY, LUCA PAGANICO, CHATS WITH STEEL THIS MAGAZINE ABOUT HIS CAREER IN THE CREATIVE REALM. BY: STAN GUMMO

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ry catching up with Luca Paganico and you’ll find yourself doing some chasing. A multi-faceted artist, Paganico is in high demand and currently working on projects around the country. We finally caught up with him on his way to IQ Escape in Ross Township where he’s been designing sets for their escape rooms. “Most people call me a Renaissance man,” said Paganico. He’s not exaggerating. His artwork stretches beyond the confines of any one medium, reaching into seemingly conflicting genres like fine art and painting motorcycles. He also designs interiors for houses, flips condos, and builds sets, working as a one-man production team. We were lucky enough to snap a few shots of him in action while painting some of his current pop-art series in his studio in the back of IQ Escape. “My art is varietal. I had to learn to adapt to art my whole life, from doing caricatures to painting Harleys. I got my start doing graffiti, which now translates into my street art. I’ve adapted different styles from different years, from doing interior design and wearing a bow tie, to wearing my jump suit and working with spray paint,” said Paganico.

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His dynamic ability to create is hard to fathom, he’s got his hands in so many different types of projects. After you see him in action bustling around a room, painting, decorating, you get an understanding of the amount of energy coming out of this guy. Seeing his gears in motion, it’s easy to see how he accomplishes so much. “I definitely have ADD,” said Paganico. Indeed, he is a Type A personality. Look at the shots in our photo spread, you’ll notice even his paint cans are placed purposefully. His eye to detail doesn’t stop at the canvas, he sets up his work space to be as neat, and aesthetically organized, as possible. His introduction to artwork came at an early age. “All through elementary school, break dancing was big, spray paint, that scene, and there was a group of guys, and we were always trying to outdraw each other,” Paganico said. He sharpened his skills through the

Where Life Happens

years and wound up studying industrial design, hoping to build bridges in Pittsburgh. “Back in the nineties, I thought Pittsburgh would be the place. But I never got a job. So, I started doing consultant work and, I started putting art on the side, because I had to pay the bills,” Paganico said.

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A childhood friend and drawing partner of Paganico’s invited him out to Las Vegas to paint motorcycles. This was the catalyst to get him back in the groove, and soon Paganico developed a large resume of artistic projects. “People would fly me out to places like Las Vegas and find out I could also design things. A custom painter who knows how to design a space? People liked that,” Paganico said. After looking through his most recent series of work, a theme emerges. There are hidden messages in all of his paintings. A closer examination will reveal hints pointing at subtle themes within the art. Love, power, mass-consumerism, and other complex issues get a nod in Paganico’s creations. “You see that heart on the duck’s foot? He’s stomping on it. That painting of Weiwei’s face, (gesturing at a painting of Chinese artist and activist, Ai Weiwei) that’s painted on an Ikea table to represent their takeover of the market and globalization,” Paganico said. A second theme that emerges is the use of several media in each piece he creates. “I’ll put like four or five different styles in each art piece I do. The concept is, art is an interpretation. I see things differently than other people. I’m well rounded enough that I can put more than

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one medium together and look at the world differently. I am a master air brush artist, and at the same time I use graffiti cans, aerosols, paint brushes, and acrylics,” Paganico said. For him, it’s a deeply personal relationship with his work. “What keeps me inspired today is the way I look at life. It’s not how we always plan it to be, but you have to make due with it. I think about life a lot. If I put a heart in a painting, or a star, or a tear drop, there’s a reason. They’re symbolic of the changes in our life. If I do a pop-art piece of Donald Duck that says, ‘catch me if you can,’ it could mean that someone’s chasing love, or something. It has a story and a meaning. If somebody says, ‘what is the purpose of this?,’ if they look closely they can see what I’m going through,” Paganico said.

Luca can be reached at 4one2popart@gmail.com

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MATTERS OF THE

ating and relationship advice from Susan Dunhoff, professional matchmaker and relationship adviser, and Stacy Polacek, Client Liason, who has a BA in Professional Counseling and an MA in Human Services and Family Counseling. Both are with The Modern Matchmaker here in Pittsburgh and volunteered to answer some of our readerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s relationship advice inquiries.

R A

Our first installment of Matters of the Heart featured online dating safety tips, and we put out a call to hear from our readers with their stories about dating. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve put together an advice column answering some of the texts, emails, and facebook messages we received, changed the names to protect the innocent, and asked our friends at Modern Matchmaker what they thought.

Friendzo

My buddy’s ex and I have had a thing for a while. It’s discreet, just for fun, nothing serious. I’ve decided it’s best left unsaid, but I can’t help feeling awkward around my friend. Do I owe him an explanation? -Friendly Fire

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Prom Dear Friendly Fire, When it comes to your friend’s ex, I would never encourage you sneaking around behind his back to date. You need to think about your friend’s feelings and your relationship together. Are you willing to risk it all for the sake of sex? Think of the time you both have invested in your friendship. No matter how much you try to justify this position, your friend would likely feel hurt if they found out a friend lied to them, especially when their ex-partner is involved. In fact, they may even think that their ex was cheating on them with you, leading to the end of your friendship. If you’re willing to lose your friendship for sex, then you may not value your friend’s feelings as much as you thought. But, if the idea of fighting with your friend and damaging your relationship upsets you, cut out the ex and the sex right now and have a conversation with your friend about it. A true friend would never sneak behind your back and lie to you about a relationship with somebody so close to you. I highly recommend not keeping this a secret. If you truly value your friend’s feelings, you’ll come clean.

ON THE REBOUND I just star ted dating this guy an everything d h well excep as been going real ly t for one little hiccu He just go p. t relationship out of a long-ter m of seven ye he’s ready ars. He says to he and his start dating again, b ut ex ended th e just 2 mon ths ago! S relationship hould I kee dating him p k rebound gir nowing that I may be a l? -The New Girl

Dear New Girl, This exact same thing happened to me. I was introduced to a guy at a work function in my hometown. I was unaware that his girlfriend was there with him at the time. He was also the son of the CEO of my place of employment. My employer called me over to introduce me to his son. Did I want to meet him? No. Did I meet him? Yes, he was my boss’ son. I could not be rude. He had a girlfriend at the time, and they had been dating for five years at this point. They broke up a couple weeks after he and I had met, and as fate would have it, he moved back to our hometown and I became his boss. Ironic, right? After accidently hanging out one night, he and I soon started to date. Four years later, he is now my husband. Needless to say, I completely understand your hesitation. What may provide reassurance to you is that many relationships become stagnant long before a breakup takes place. You need to focus on the good of what is taking place right now. For one, your boyfriend was upfront and honest with you and told you that he recently came out of a seven-year relationship. Don’t allow his past to dictate your present. Enjoy you, enjoy him, and enjoy this amazing adventure that the two of you are on together.

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I’m having some trouble with onlin e dating. I go on dates with men regu larly that I meet on OkCupid, but it neve r seems to amount to anything serious. It seems like every guy I meet only wan ts one thing-sex! I’m looking for somethin g serious, but I’m afraid there’s somethin g about me that screams “one night stan d” material. I don’t have any inapprop riate profile pictures. Is it me? Or do men just want one thing? -Waking Up Lonely

TEXTUAL SED Dear Waking Up Lonely, When it comes to online dating profiles, a lot of people only look at profile pictures. My advice is using only one profile picture, and having your profile’s content focus more on personal details about your life rather than your appearance. That will urge potential dates to read about you and find out some deeper information. When they read about you in your profile, you need to be upfront and precise. State that you are looking for a serious relationship and that you will not play games. You might also want to take better stock of the people you’re meeting online. Watch out for people who say they’re looking for casual, good time, fun people. These profiles are screaming, “I only want sex.” Also, be wary of people who are looking for a date ASAP, late night dates, and anybody who asks to meet last minute. Men who are serious about finding a long-term relationship do not display such behavior. They respect women, they take their time, and they usually have more meaningful conversations before meeting for the first time.

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So, I know people are into checking their phones every second, but on a first date? Can’t people go an hour without outside stimulation? I had a date a few months ago that I never called back because she made eye contact with me like two times the whole night. I get offended if someone checks their phone at all during the first dateit’s almost a deal breaker for me. Am I crazy? I’m a millennial in my 20s, I get it, but where’s everyone’s sense of etiquette? -Old Fashioned

Dear Old Fashioned, First of all, I agree with you. I do not find it polite to be on your phone at all during a date. Anybody you’re having a conversation with deserves your full and undivided attention. When on a first date with someone, your phone should be out of sight. Never place your phone on the table, ever! It’s a sign of addiction and it’s basically a signal letting people know that you’re not completely there with them at that moment. You had a bad experience and therefore you have no desire to see her again. It’s understandable, but I wouldn’t let a onetime experience like this turn you off completely. A minor etiquette flaw shouldn’t be enough to exclude anyone from your dating pool. You’re not running a finishing school, you’re looking for someone enjoyable to spend time with. If you don’t feel comfortable politely asking your date to put her phone away, you could make a point of pulling out your phone, and saying that you are placing it on silent because you want to focus 100% of your attention on her and enjoying the date. This should signal that you value an uninterrupted conversation, and encourage her to do the very same. I’d also make an exception for things like a babysitter or a caretaker calling from home, or for somebody who is on-call at that time.

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R? DEAL BREAKE weeks. r a few fo r e last h . But, n with I’ve bee re going good h her, I it a Things er sleeping w . She said s ft week, a t she has herpe t to use n u a o w d ’t n ys esn fou and do e. Online it sa r is o it’s safe r e m y tn n r a a p n protectio at risky if your o said it’s ls th it’s not edicine. They a le realize, p o m e g p in n tak all. tha evalent blem at more pr at big of a pro er for me? th k and not is be a deal-brea Should th ver o -Leery L

Dear Leery Lover, You have two problems to deal with here. My main concern is that your new girlfriend did not tell you about her condition when your relationship became physically intimate. She should have disclosed this, and explained the safest way to be intimate with her that is safe for you. She should also have told you if it was active or in remission. Since I am not a physician, I cannot comment on the safety of your situation. What I can say is if she did not tell you that she had herpes when you started dating, I can’t help but wonder what else she is keeping from you. She sounds like the type of person who is willing to keep important information from you, even if it puts you at risk. This brings up an issue that will be the foundation of your relationship if it continues: trust. If you continue to date her, I would speak to a physician to understand the risks of unprotected sex with an infected partner rather than trust what you read online. Most likely there are ways to minimize the risk factors.

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ANGER ISSUES

I’ve been dating this girl for a coup le months now and I really like her. Every time we go out, though, she expects me to pay for ever ything. I’ve tried telling her with subtle hints, like not pulling out my wallet right away when it’s time to pay, but she just stares at me, like she’s waiting for me to cough up the cash. I like this girl, but I don’t feel like I should be expected to pay for everything. How can I tell her she needs to contribu te once in a while without offending her? -Big Tipper

This guy I’ve been dating for six months has a bit of a temper. It’s never out of control, but super uncomfortable when it happens. The first time, we were in the car and someone cut us off and he slammed the steering wheel and yelled. He also got in a screaming match at a bar last week when some guy spilled his drink at the table I was at. What can I do to get him to calm down? I don’t want to tell him to go to therapy if it’s not too serious. Meditation? Breathing exercises? Help! -Chill Pill

Dear Big Tipper, What’s more important than the balance of your transactions is the reciprocity in your relationship. If it’s a problem of finance, there are many ways for your date to reciprocate like planning a special, inexpensive evening in or making a thoughtful gift. The thought is more important than the cash. If it’s too expensive for you to go out to eat and pay for the both of you, then eat in.

Dear Chill Pill, Run as fast as you can! A temper is a bad sign and I recommend that you get away from this man as soon as possible. It sounds as though he has a very short fuse over trivial things, which is a sign that he most likely has anger management issues. You are not safe around a man who cannot control his temper because one day his target may be you. No one should have to fear that they may be treated in an abusive way, whether it is emotional abuse or physical abuse. No form of abuse is acceptable in any way at any level!

If the person you’re courting never reciprocates, this may be a sign of worse things to come. It may mean that they want a one-sided relationship, or perhaps they’re taking advantage of you. Surely no one needs to date someone like that. I recommend that you bring it up and speak with them. There are subtle ways of doing this, but honesty and clarity are paramount in any relationship, and this is a good place to start.

You need to meet people who are even-tempered. If you have to tell a person to go to therapy because they’re scaring you, then you shouldn’t be dating them. This is about having respect for yourself and making sure your partner holds the same level of respect for you, too. You deserve better than staying with an abusive person that you feel the need to change or fix.

What courtship queries do you have? What did you think of our advice? Write us at: MOTH@SteelThisMag.com SPRING 2017

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STORYLINES Across 1 “Don’t have ___, man!” 5 Filing category: abbr. 9 Space-time continuum disturbance

By: Daniel Finan

5 14

17 20

43 A/C stat

24 27

46 “44/45-Across,” e.g.

16 Imagism pioneer Pound

47 Distinguish

17 Counterpart of “recycle”

50 Job at Kmart

18 Obtain, as a role

53 Tony Packo’s locale

42 46

20 It’s of course a course

61 “57/58-Across,” e.g.

22 Pulls out, in a way

62 Property unit

24 Type of flimsy evidence

63 Join forces

27 Double-deck, as a checker

64 Golf Hall of Famer Sam ___

30 Namesake of luxury jets

65 Some ring decisions: abbr.

31 “27/30-Across,” e.g.

66 Eyes in odes, often

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58 Shamus

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31 36

35 Network signal

57 One-named DJ

67 Lith. and Ukr., once

44 Earn top billing

15 Calculus calculation

36 Showed signs of a beachy vacation, say

42 Shabbat keepers

45 Hot or cold conflicts

34 It’s gold to gringos

41 Exudes contempt

13 Pivots

19 “17/18-Across,” e.g. (with “The”)

53 59

61 64 67

5 Prefix with nutrition

37 “Te ___” (hymn)

6 401(k) alternative

39 Sharpshooters

7 Middle finger, for one

40 Dry as a bone

8 Citadel student

42 Sister of Marcia and Cindy

9 Turned off, to put it mildly

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50 Future MBA’s exam

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51 Engagement ring feature, slangily

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56 Onetime Alero manufacturer

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or our third installment of this series, we sat down with Fiore Moletz, a restaurateur from Pittsburgh who’s launched several spots in Western PA. The first of these was built with less than $1,000, zero financial backing from outsiders, and not so much as a driver’s license to his name. It’s a gritty story and we wanted to share it with you. Moletz, founder of restaurants, Della Terra, and, Burghers, has seen every nook and cranny of the restaurant business. From washing dishes in Mt. Lebanon, to working his way through the kitchens of Manhattan, to taking the final leap and starting his first restaurant, he’s been through a lot. But so have a lot of people. What makes Moletz interesting is how he made that jump. The leap from employed chef to a selfemployed restaurant owner isn’t an easy one to make when you’ve got a budget of roughly $750, zero investors, and not so much as a driver’s license. Nevertheless, here he stands, after more than a decade in business, with two restaurants under his belt, consulting on the opening of a second Burghers location in Lawrenceville.

Before we let Moletz tell his story, he cautioned that we give some quick pointers: - Perspective: You’re going to most likely be putting in far more hours at your new job than the last one you had. When you’re the driving force of a new company, there’s no calling in sick. - Stress: The buck stops here. The person making the decisions on pricing, staffing, purchasing, and maintaining and managing your place is you. Be ready for a lot of sleepless nights. - Open-mindedness: You need to be able to adapt quickly, learn from others, and succeed where others have failed. If you can’t take criticism and listen to your customers and others in the industry, this isn’t the path for you.

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From the horse’s mouth: The Fiore Moletz Story. So, first off, I started in this industry as a dishwasher. I worked my way up from there to the hot app station. That’s the most basic, unskilled part of the food world. I did that for some time. Then I decided to leave the space I was in and went to work in a real kitchen doing their hot app station at Lydia’s in the Strip District. I worked there for five years. In that time I became Pasta Chef and I was in charge of all pasta production. Then, I left Lydia’s and worked around different places under the same company ownership in New York City. By 2004, I thought that maybe I’d get out of this business because of the hours. Before the kitchen, my entire life I was in construction. I did electrical, plumbing, heating, and air conditioning. I was working in the kitchen at night and during the day I was working on construction projects I had picked up. So, I took about two years off and focused on a business I had started called Pittsburgh Healthy Homes, an eco-friendly remodeling and cleaning company that was quite successful. I’ve always been entrepreneurial, so it was easier for me than most to bounce between things and keep myself busy. Using places like Construction Junction we were able to do this eco-friendly, very high-end remodeling. But ultimately it was too much to sustain forever. The whole time I was working nights picking up gigs in restaurants. But I hated it. I hated every single day of it. I needed to get out, needed to. So, I went back to Pittsburgh to work at Lydia’s in the Strip. It wasn’t in the shape it was when I had left, and I wanted to work somewhere that I fit in. So, I applied at Il Pizzaiolo. I had trouble finding a job. It took like six months for them to call me back. Finally, we hooked up and I was there helping them produce their pasta. I was a big part of their fresh pasta production, and I was still doing a bit of remodeling on the side for some extra cash. I was hustling so I could get this restaurant going that I had been dreaming about since the first time I was in New York as a young chef. My joy was just eating at all of these restaurants that they have. It’s some of the best variety in the world and I wanted to bring that to Pittsburgh, but I still didn’t know enough about running a restaurant, I just wasn’t ready. Eventually, I worked my way up to sous chef at Il Pizzaiolo. I did it within about a year’s time. The owner actually had some amazing conversations with me about my love for good food and burgers. He told me I should probably open up my own burger restaurant, which, at the time, wasn’t really happening in Pittsburgh. I was looking for a space in Lawrenceville but everything was getting crazy expensive at the time. Multiple let-downs led me to my then brother-in-law. He knew someone in Zelienople who had a restaurant business in one of his spaces in a plaza that was failing, and the restaurant owner needed to get out of his lease. The landlord, being the nice guy he was, helped him by finding someone to take over his lease for basically nothing. I talked to the owner of the business but he was unreasonable. The conversation didn’t go well, but before I talked to him I had already spoken with a bunch of other landlords and learned something very important. As it turns out, there are a SPRING 2017

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Entrepreneurism 101:

ton of people who think they’re restaurateurs: opening spaces, spending upwards of hundreds of thousands, and in no time find they can’t do it. Lots of times, those guys need to get out as fast as they can. So, I learned there were a lot of people in the restaurant business that were going under, and there are a lot of landlords desperate for rentals. What I then realized was you can use someone’s misfortune and create something for yourself for a very reasonable investment. It sucks when things don’t work out for people; nobody gets that more than me. But, if you have very little cash and you want to get into this business, there are a lot of opportunities. But it won’t work if each time somebody has an idea, they need to update a rental space, and then spend a fortune furnishing it with new kitchen equipment. The opportunities you get in this business look like negotiating free rent for six months, or using the existing equipment and making due with what you have available to you. This is the time people need to really focus on the bottom line, and if you’re a good negotiator, you can do a lot of damage here. Now, before you try to open your own place, I would say you need at least ten years in the industry. You need to see it all. The skills I picked up during my time in construction came in very handily; I was able to do my own plumbing, electrical work, but one of the most important skills I had under my belt was negotiation. There are other people that capitalize on this, the “used restaurant people.” I got a ton of cheap stuff, I had a lot of friends and family donate old equipment, anything I could do to save money and update my space, I’d do it. Starting out, I literally stole stuff out of people’s recycling. To this day, the best fryer I’ve ever used I got for free. If you’re not the kind of person who can deal with problems in an optimistic way, this is going to be a long battle for you. Every day it’s stress. Every day you have to have confidence and you have to be 100% confident about your product. Zelionople, where my first restaurant was and still is, is a conservative small town. Charging $7.99 for local organic meat on a sandwich meant a lot of people would complain about the price. You could get the whole Pizza Hut buffet for five bucks across the street. But, we stayed true to what we believed in, stayed consistent with our product, treated our employees and friends well, and we didn’t take, “no” for an answer, that’s for damn sure.

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So, if you’ve put your time in and you’re ready to branch out, find a space and talk with as many landlords as possible. A good relationship there is crucial if you’re out of cash when you’re starting. They want it to work as much as you do. It’s easy to make a deal with a landlord. Many want a deposit but it’s impossible for a new business owner to come up with something like $7,000 (that’s what it was for me for a deposit with all of the equipment.) I negotiated that to a six-month period of payback so there was zero money up front. If you’re in your space, your kitchen is up to code, and you’ve got your product figured out, I’d highly suggest giving something away for free. The public has no clue who you are. You may have something new they haven’t tried before; I know we did. So, on our opening day we gave out free food and it was gone in no time. It created a buzz for us and helped us with advertising.

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- First, and most importantly, this is not for everyone. It’s less than one percent of the population. Personally, I don’t think I’m successful yet. This is just the work I do. I’ll be successful when I achieve a much larger mission, but the point is I love it! I love where I’m at right now. You either love it, or you should forget about it, it’s not gonna work. - Secondly, it is so doable. So many people could do this who instead spend their entire lives working for someone. I have told people this before, “you’re already working, just do it. You’re going to be miserable if you don’t try your idea and keep working. You’ve got to do it. That’s all there is to, it you have to.”

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â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Shrooms By: Skipper Anderson

ach spring, in mid to late April, I get a hankering. That I am fatter, slower, and older than before the cold set in does not seem of consequence. There is a yearning that beckons me back to the forest. So, I put on my boots, call my friend, JZ, and oﬀ we go in search of a damn fungus. Namely, the legendary, the mysterious, the elusive Morel! This is a story about hunting them. First, some background information.

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Personally, I adore eating these mushrooms. I find their taste and texture woodsy and luscious, with just a hint of blueberries and a scintilla of animal droppings. Chefs seem to crave them to the edge of psychosis. On the other hand, many register them as raccoon scat – my wife is one of these folks.

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In appearance, their shape is somewhat like a Christmas tree. The truth is they look like a penis, should the tip be composed of brain tissue. In color, they tend to earth tones, and thus blend well into their surroundings, and are difficult to spot. Browns and greys dominate (unlike their cousins, the Chanterelles, whose bright pinks, yellows and oranges make them look as if they are auditioning for Yellow Submarine). One must note that the German army wore field grey uniforms in WWII and were stealthy fellows. If that helps, think of them as sneaky Nazis, but tasty ones. Size matters! At the beginning of each morel season, the first ‘shrooms to appear are small, perhaps the size of your fingernail. As the season progresses, they get bigger. In general, most are under 6 inches. They blend in so well with their surroundings that losing eye contact, while you move to pick one up, often makes them disappear. There are people who have a heightened ability to see morels. A person I know claims that women, due to the fungi’s phallus shape, spot them more easily. Nonsense! In my opinion, the ability to find morels is not gender specific. One of my best friends is a retired detective and he sees them easily.

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(Sidebar: I need to touch on a subject which has bothered me for years: Midwesterners, particularly people from Michigan and Indiana. I have had occasion to converse with people from this area about morels. While they seem lovely people, and we share the same republic, interests and flag, they have a problem with Pennsylvania morels. Specifically, they insist that theirs are bigger than ours. I once showed a bag I had collected to a visitor from the UP. He disdainfully told me that in Michigan they would toss them back. The truth is, as a Pennsylvanian, it left me feeling a bit inadequate.)

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Where do you find them? This is where myths arise. Stories abound of mushroom hunters taking backroads, doubling back on their tracks, shaking tails and even shooting at people to avoid exposing their hunting sites. It suggests a spy novel and is unequivocally (mainly) untrue. Certainly, most hunters aren’t going to take you to their favorite areas. However, many will give you an idea of the environment you need to seek. Where I hunt, the main signpost is dying elms, old apple orchards, patches of mayapple and ash trees (may they rest in peace). If you know of an old, not yet dead, apple orchard, or an area of dying elms, go and look. In fact, if you have private access to any of these, morel hunters will become some of your BFF’s. The truth is that hunting spots have a limited production period. My friend, JZ, found an old elm that he called the wonder tree. Initially, we had to call in Sherpas to carry out the bounty. The next year, only half as much was found. Within five years there were no morels.

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(Sidebar: My friend, JZ, is the original JZ, and should not be confused with the artist, Jay Z. If JZ were married to Beyoncé, he would not be out in the woods with me.)

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Conditions can be diﬃcult. Early spring can be cold and wet. There’s no way to stay completely dry. While crawling (and you will need to crawl) through the woods you will get cold and tired. You will encounter various and sundry critters, almost all of whom are benign. There is one beast with which you will, almost certainly, come into physical contact: the TICK! These beasties creep-out most of us. I have had dozens on my clothes, and have been bitten quite a few times. All weirdness aside, it is the deer tick, which spreads Lyme Disease, that needs to be feared. Should you want to pursue morels, you will need to come to terms with this, and deal with it.

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I briefly touched on morel hunters when discussing where to find the fungus. More needs to be revealed. Though most do not go through great contortions to hide their spots, neither will they be forthcoming in telling you where that may be. Nor, should you encounter them in the woods, can you expect honesty, in any way, shape or form. The term, “alternate facts”, did not come from Kellyanne Conway, it was derived from conversations between morel hunters. Here’s an example: I was searching in the woods behind my house when I ran into Benjie. He may be the best gleaner of fungi in my patch of the world. The trouble is, he is both a relentless hunter, and an inveterate liar. “Benjie, have any luck,” I ask. “Not really,” he replies. I can see Benjie’s pack is swollen to capacity and the weight is making his legs tremble. “I thought it would be a great day for ‘shrooms,” I bandy back. “You know how it is, Skip, sometimes things aren’t what they appear to be.” Can’t argue with that, and off he goes, the lying bastard. A year after this incident, I was coming home from a day of hunting. As I was leaving the woods, I saw Benjie. As I approached him he asked, “Have any luck, Skip?” Since I had an empty bag, which I showed him, I could honestly tell him I didn’t have a mushroom on me. He looked at me through those untruthful eyes and said, “Sorry, Skip, better luck next time.” Then he turned and headed back over the hill. I pondered the difference in people. What makes some folks decent, and others incapable of telling the truth? It is a mystery to me. As Benjie crested the hill and disappeared, I signaled JZ that all was clear. He could bring the Sherpas and burros loaded with ‘shrooms from cover.

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Skipper Anderson is a mushroom hunter, retired care-giver, and curmudgeon from Pennsylvania, where he lives with his wife and two cats.

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THE PIRATE PARROT, THE GREATEST SYMBOL OF TERROR FROM MY CHILDHOOD By Bob Stallsmith

t was summer, and my family was enjoying a baseball game at Three Rivers Stadium. It was either the last year that the Pirates were good, or the first year they were bad. My youthful brain was unable to foresee how hard things as a Bucs fan would be in the years to come. Then it happened. A giant, green, winged monster used its beak to try and pick me up by my head, carry me off, and feed me to its babies. Babies that I am certain make the worst noises, just like most children. Shaken, I did the only thing kids are good at: I cried. I cried a lot, in public, in front of a bunch of strangers, ruining their evening. When the topic of sports mascots comes up, one of my friends is always led to this statement: “You know who I hate? The damn Philadelphia Phundamentalist.” I laugh each time as I correct her, “It’s The Phillie Phanatic.” For all the times this has happened, I’m never really sure if she says the wrong name to make me laugh, or if she absolutely refuses to remember the pronunciation. Either way, it’s funny.

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Unlike my distrust of old people, young people, and people roughly the same age as me, I have categorically opened up to mascots as years have passed. Age has softened me. I really used to hate mascots. In fact, I dreaded even being near them, they made me uncomfortable. I felt like I had good reason for that response, too, but this is one of the rare happenstances in my life where I have been able to eventually let go of a grudge. Plus, lots of kids around the country have far more terrifying people in costumes than Pittsburgh children need to worry about.

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Fortunately, this town isn’t home to anything as bizarre as the New Orleans Baby Cakes’ mascot. That thing is a nightmare come to life at every home game for that team. Google it, I’ll wait… Hideous, right? In the Burgh’ we don’t have to put up with anything too visually scarring. Steely McBeam is the unloved step child of, and most recent addition to, the Pittsburgh professional sports mascot collective. Never having interacted with McBeam, I can only say I have never liked mascots that are people in costumes of larger people, (I’m looking at you Bernie Brewer, you’re the worst). There’s just something unsettling about it. What if, this one time, it was a bird or a lion in a human costume? Are we ready to take that chance? Plus, McBeam’s mouth is always agape, just hanging there in the wind like a whale scooping up krill. Rumor has it that the NFL forced the Steelers to have either a mascot or cheerleaders. I couldn’t confirm if this was true with a simple internet search, so I quit. You can argue amongst yourselves the merits of each, which are both ultimately superfluous to the sport itself. What we ended up with is an indeterminate creature in a human suit with the chin of a former head coach, but I digress. Iceburgh is my personal favorite of the three pro mascots that call Pittsburgh home. That is to say, Iceburgh bothers me the least. It seems well intentioned enough, and communicates with whistles and clicks. Real penguins don’t do that, but whatever. Everyone likes penguins, so it has that going for it. Iceburgh could probably bark like a dog and people would still like it. Plus, it looks like it is on track to out-pace Crosby and Letang combined for concussions. SPRING 2017

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’m going to assume we’ve all studied the films of Jean Claud Van Damme, and if we’ve learned anything from Sudden Death, it’s a lesson about the potential evil that lies within any mascot. But, the Pens’ person in a penguin suit seemed nice enough during the one brief interaction I had shared with it. I’m certainly glad the Pittsburgh Penguins eventually figured out it is much cheaper to use different people in a suit than to keep replacing actual live penguins. Do the Pirates still have Captain Jolly Roger? Does anyone care? Later in the fall of the same year I was attacked by the giant, green, bird once again. It happened at an assembly at school. There was a surprise for the kindergarteners. A terrible surprise. The parrot had found out where I lived. It came to my school to finish the job. I can only guess I looked delicious because out of all the students there, the great and terrifying fowl came after me again with ruthless determination and chilling accuracy.

It’s a helpless feeling, being so young with a nemesis so capable of outmatching you both physically and mentally. I didn’t let this stop me from going to baseball games growing up. I just always kept an eye on the bird’s location while in the stadium. And I never felt fully comfortable unless it was on the exact opposite side of the stadium. There hasn’t been any interaction with the bird since, out of what I would describe as a type of respect and understanding that we share now that we’re both equally capable of killing one another. Mutually assured destruction keeps us at a comfortable distance. As an adult I can logic out that long hot summers of traveling, sleeping in hotels, and wearing a ridiculous bird costume are what make baseball mascots act like such jags. Nevertheless, as a child, the threat the giant bird presented was as real as my tears. Time warps, dissolves, and replaces memories, and I have certainly embellished and filled gaps. But know this: the Pirate Parrot did put my head in its mouth twice, I cried each time, and I’ll always think its a jerk.

There, in the auditorium, surrounded by my peers with my head in the beak of a bird that was clearly out to get me, I again sobbed uncontrollably.

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