Thursday 01/24/19

Michigan State’s Independent Voice

BRAVE WOMEN One year after they stood up to their abuser, hundreds of women still fight for change

T HU R S DAY, JA N UA RY 24 , 2 019

@THESNEWS

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ONE YEAR LATER

Editor’s note: What’s inside

A woman grabs a ribbon from MSU students “Go Teal” advertising submission on March 14, 2018, at Kellogg Hotel and Conference Center. PHOTO BY SYLVIA JARRUS

BY MARIE WEIDMAYER FEEDBACK@STATENEWS.COM

One year ago, to date, Lou Anna K. Simon resigned after an embattled end to her tenure at Michigan State.

This edition marks a year without Simon; a year after Larry Nassar’s sentencing; a year of changes to campus.

This paper looks at bold, brave women who are leading the charge for change — an army of women who came together under the worst circumstances but never lost faith in themselves; a now 16-year-old girl whose words inspired others; museum exhibits to honor survivors.

It has been a year since Nassar was in court for his sentencings, but this edition is about more than that. I hope you close this paper with newfound admiration for the people who refused to give up on demanding change and insisting MSU be held accountable. While that job is not finished, it’s important to take the time to appreciate what has changed.

There is hope that the new interim president, Satish Udpa, is better suited for the job than John Engler was. There is hope the new Board of Trustees members will bring positive change. There is hope that the new president — whoever they may be — will lead MSU in a way students and alumni can be proud of again.

I desperately want to believe my hope is not in vain. I started at MSU in fall 2015, a year before the first IndyStar report detailing Nassar’s abuse. Since then, I have watched MSU squander chance after chance to make meaningful changes and take responsibility for its failures.

It’s hard to respect MSU’s administration after I sat in the courtroom for Nassar’s sentencing, listening to women and girls describe how institutional failure allowed sexual abuse to continue for more than 20 years. A new interim president — even a new president — won’t be able to make necessary institutional changes without the support of all people in positions of power.

The failures that allowed Nassar to remain hidden are not just Simon’s failures.

They are the failures of Nassar’s former boss William Strampel, of former gymnastics coach Kathie Klages, of all the athletic trainers who didn’t say anything, of everybody who knew and silenced those who tried to speak out.

It is up to professors, deans, advisors, administrators and coaches to refuse to be complacent. Without their commitment to changing culture at MSU, nothing will happen. I want to believe this change is happening, but it seems like every time I start to believe, another story breaks about somebody’s inappropriate actions.

So yes, it is hard for me to have hope for meaningful changes, but the stories told throughout these pages make it a little bit easier, and I hope it does the same for you.

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THE STATE N EWS

BEING A SPARTAN ISN’T ABOUT MSU. IT’S ABOUT THE COMMUNITY.

BY MCKENNA ROSS MROSS@STATENEWS.COM

In the midst of a chaotic newsroom during a chaotic time at Michigan State, someone in the office checked Twitter to see protesters, originally at the Rock on Farm Lane, had reached Grand River Avenue by the hundreds. We ran to the windows to watch the March for Survivors and Change at MSU from two stories above.

What I saw completely changed my perspective.

Our university was making headlines left and right for its involvement in the Larry Nassar scandal. Everyone in the newsroom was working harder than ever to cover his sentencing and the many changes and resignations in the administration.

Two days after Nassar was effectively sentenced to life in prison and President Lou Anna K. Simon resigned, we were staying late again on Jan. 26, 2018, the night of the March for Survivors THURSDAY, JANUA RY 24, 2 01 9

and Change at MSU. We were adversity for two years, but always stress eating. We were tired from believed survivors and demanded the longest week of our short institutional change.

We’ve awoken the nation to the careers. We were anxious all the effects of serial abusers and poor time — at least I was.

We ran to the windows of our leadership. When MSU became office to watch the march down a national story, we weren’t Grand River Avenue. We watched sheepish about our distrust in the crowd of angry students, administration officials.

Revolutionary leaders worked professors and communit y members demanding t heir with survivors, investigated new once-beloved university do the claims, called for resignations and learned how to make a better right thing.

It cleared my fears of the future. society — all in the public eye.

I made a resolution that day to not We wanted to be an example of be ashamed of being a Spartan if it how to stop widespread sexual meant I was a part of a community misconduct crises from happening, or how to heal if one did. that demanded change.

Dozens of people still show up To be fair, this has been at Board of Trustees meetings and a challenge.

I have cringed through the put teal ribbons on trees. They administration’s faux pas and draw posters and march and canned responses instead of scream and yell and continue to healing words. I feel awkward when someone suggests that my MSU degree will be a detriment “I made a to my resume. I feel even more resolution that awkward when someone makes a point to not wear green and day to not be white — my wardrobe would be ashamed of being significantly smaller if I got rid of a Spartan if it my Spartan gear.

But even in the toughest meant I was a part moments, I am reminded of the of a community marchers’ irrepressible calls for that demanded responsibility.

T h is un iversit y ’s ac t ions change.” created a community of the most determined people; one McKenna Ross that accepts nothing but the State News Copy Editor best for itself. We faced nonstop F E E DB AC K@ STAT E NE WS .COM

expect priority adjustments from the top down.

Nearly a year after the March for Survivors, I went to the Board of Trustees meeting where former Interim President John Engler was removed. Outside the Hannah Administration Building was a poster in teal and white: “Who will continue to hold the administration accountable?

Spartans will.”

It seems possible t he community’s rallying has been heard. Administrative rhetoric is shifting; once the new president is selected, the community might begin to feel at ease. But change can start sooner, as new interim president Satish Udpa said at the board meeting.

“Cultural change for me means that everyone respects everyone else,” Udpa said. “We recognize that people have their rights, people have to be treated fairly and humanely. That’s what we’re going to strive for.”

This community is the reason he is calling for a culture shift. We have never stopped demanding change. If the past year is any proof, we never will.

Being a part of a new culture that demands accountability is nothing to be ashamed of.

McKenna Ross is a copy editor at The State News. She served as managing editor during the 2017-18 academic year.

Vol. 109 | No. 16

THURSDAY, JANUARY 24, 2019

Marketing sophomore Sarah Darling pins on a teal ribbon that symbolizes solidarity with sexual assault survivors on Jan. 26, 2018 at The Rock. PHOTO BY SYLVIA JARRUS

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IN TODAY’S PAPER

“We can’t go back in time.

But we can change how it will affect future survivors.”

Emma Ann Miller 16-year-old survivor of Nassar Read more on pages 8-9.

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Meet the Army of Survivors

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The group of women advocate for sexual abuse survivors.

Update to the investigation into Michigan State Read where the Attorney General’s Office is at with the investigation into MSU’s handling of Larry Nassar.

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ONE YEAR LATER

For Rachael Denhollander, Nassar’s sentencing was just the beginning

BY RILEY MURDOCK RMURDOCK@STATENEWS.COM

“I don’t think it will ever end. Not completely. There will always need to be work done.”

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n Jan. 24, 2018 in Ingham County, Larry Nassar was sentenced to up to 175 years in prison. The last survivor to address Nassar during the victim impact statements was Rachael Denhollander, the first woman to publicly accuse Nassar of abuse.

Nassar’s justice began and ended with Denhollander, but her work still continues long after he was sentenced.

“I think a lot of people watching the sentencing had the impression that there was this climactic, final moment,” Denhollander said. “That’s not really what happened.”

By the time she spoke at the victim impact statements last year, she had been working diligently for accountability and reform for more than a year already. Since then, she hasn’t slowed down.

“Even since the sentencing ... it is still a daily fight for accountability and transparency and necessary reform,” Denhollander said.

LOOKING BACK

Coming forward with her story — ­ against a powerful man and the powerful institutions he worked for — ­ was incredibly difficult, Denhollander said. She knew Nassar and those surrounding him would work to silence an anonymous voice.

However, she is thankful she was able to be the catalyst.

“I wouldn’t want anyone else to have to do what I did,” Denhollander said. “That was why I did it. Because I wanted other survivors to have a choice whether or not they spoke up or whether or not they came forward publicly. I didn’t feel like I had that choice when I came forward.

“I don’t really feel like I ever had a choice.”

Denhollander is thankful for the voices of all those who joined her, and it strikes her just how vital every person involved with the case was.

For the case to succeed, she said it needed MSU Police Lt. Andrea Munford’s passionate, uncompromising investigation; then-assistant Attorney General Angie Povilaitis’ commitment to justice and giving survivors a voice; Judges Janice K. Cunningham and Rosemarie Aquilina’s willingness to open their courtrooms; and the time, effort and commitment of IndyStar reporters to amplify Denhollander’s voice, she said.

Rachael Denhollander First survivor to publicly accuse Nassar

Rachael Denhollander addresses Larry Nassar during her statement on the final day of Nassar’s sentencing Jan. 24, 2018, at the Ingham County Circuit Court in Lansing. PHOTO BY NIC ANTAYA

“We had to have all of us coming forward to have the cultural moment that we had, and I’m just honestly filled with thankfulness for everything that happened,” Denhollander said.

“Alongside that, a very deep sense of grief.

Because most of us never needed to be there.”

Though it wasn’t an ending, Denhollander said she’s grateful for what she and other survivors were given at the sentencing.

“The chance to face your abuser and to see him put away is not something most abuse survivors ever receive,” Denhollander said.

A CHANGED LIFE

For Denhollander and her family, every facet of life has changed completely. Some of the changes are good, she said. Some are difficult.

“Doing things the way we had to do things meant relinquishing a great deal of ­— really every shred of privacy,” Denhollander said. “I felt like it was relinquishing every shred of dignity.

You don’t get to take any of that back.”

While Nassar is behind bars for the rest of his life, Denhollander is living hers coming to terms with her abuse. She is forever changed by it, she said.

“I do think, by and large, I’ve been able to reach a very good place of healing and move forward with my life, and enjoy all the good

things that life has to offer, and hold on to hope,” Denhollander said.

But there are still elements of her abuse she grapples with, she said, and there are still details she doesn’t want publicized.

“We didn’t get to choose to be abused, and we didn’t get to choose how we spoke about it,” Denhollander said. “The organizations that surrounded Larry put us in a position — put me in a position — where it had to be done very publicly, very graphically and very continually.

That’s not right. None of us should have been put in that position.”

MOVING FORWARD

Denhollander doesn’t see a future where she can rest.

“I don’t think it will ever end. Not completely,” Denhollander said. “There will always need to be work done.”

While there is more discussion about sexual assault now than before, Denhollander said she doesn’t see much of a shift in the way it’s treated. The abuser’s own community has the most potential to create accountability, but time and time again communities fail to hold their own members accountable, she said.

“Everybody’s happy to talk about it when it’s someone else’s community, but never when it’s

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their own,” Denhollander said.

Having fought for accountability at MSU and USA Gymnastics for more than two years, Denhollander admits she’s a little tired of her own case. She said she would like to move on to more general advocacy, but whether she can will depend on MSU’s leaders doing what they need to do to allow other survivors to heal.

While she’s encouraged by the actions and words of some of the new members of the MSU Board of Trustees, several important steps still must be taken before the fallout will truly end, she said.

Denhollander said MSU still needs an independent investigation with waived attorneyclient privilege, so the public can truly know what happened and what failed beyond criminality.

The vast majority of what contributes to cultural enabling of sexual abuse goes beyond what’s illegal, she said.

“You can’t fix what you don’t even know, or what you won’t admit to,” Denhollander said.

The resignation of former Interim President John Engler was a positive first step and she’s thankful for the board’s actions, but it is only a first step, Denhollander said. An independent investigation would signal a true shift toward transparency and accountability.

“When you see a real need to change, you do things radically differently, not just one or two things differently,” Denhollander said.

Going forward, Denhollander hopes to continue being an advocate for change. It’s important to her to keep raising her voice, not just because that’s how change gets made, but because it shows other survivors their voices are important.

“They need to know that they’re going to be heard and believed and that they matter.”

ONE YEAR LATER

Sister Survivors exhibit to debut at MSU Museum

RELIGIOUS DIRECTORY Stay up to date at: www.statenews.com/religious

All Saints Episcopal Church 800 Abbot Rd. (517) 351-7160 Sun. Worship: 8am, 10am, & 5pm Sunday School: 10am www.allsaints-el.org Ascension Lutheran Church 2780 Haslett Rd. (517) 337 9703 Sun. Worship: 10:00am Sun. Bible Study: 8:45am Thur. Bible Study: 2pm www.ascensioneastlansing.org Email: ascensionlutheran@att.net

Two quilts are pictured in the MSU Union on Dec. 13, 2018. PHOTO BY ANNTANINNA BIONDO

BY KAITLYN KELLEY KKELLEY@STATENEWS.COM

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urvivors of Larry Nassar’s sexual abuse, their parents, allies and MSU Museum employees have been working together to curate an exhibit called, “Finding Our Voice: Sister Survivors Speak.”

The exhibit will tell survivors’ stories of healing by showcasing teal ribbons, artwork, signs of protest and unity from groups like Reclaim MSU, a timeline of survivors’ accusations and more.

It will be held in the main gallery of the museum from April 2019 until early 2020.

The exhibit will have two galleries: One that includes objects of pain, and another that includes objects of healing. The exhibit may also incorporate a closet, where survivors can leave their green and white Spartan gear until they are ready to wear them again.

Amanda Smith, a survivor and co-curator of the exhibit, said it has been her job to ensure that the exhibit solely displays the survivors’ side of the story. There will be no photos of Nassar, and his name will most likely only be seen in newspaper clippings, she said.

“We want to make sure that everything on the walls and that’s in the exhibit is survivor-based and not Nassar-based,” Smith said. “As you walk through the exhibit, you’re getting the timeline of how this all occurred.”

The exhibit will, however, try to address signs of predatory behavior by displaying gifts Nassar gave to survivors to groom and manipulate them.

Smith said the organizing committee also wants to make sure people have the resources to get help if needed, and to let survivors know it’s okay to speak up.

The idea for the exhibit came after the teal ribbons placed on trees around MSU’s campus by survivors and their parents were removed after they became infested by gypsy moths.

Museum employees wanted to ensure the survivors and their parents were the ones who took the ribbons down.

“Just the thought of them being taken down without care and going away, there was something didn’t feel quite right about that,” Curator of Textiles and Social Justice Mary Worrall said.

MSU Museum Director Mark Auslander said those at the museum were touched by seeing the ribbons on campus and wanted to find a way to preserve and display them.

He said the committee has also been working on an interactive app, which would allow survivors to find the tree they placed their teal ribbon on.

“There were these 228 trees, and the way I came to think of it with the mothers was that the trees really were witnesses,” Auslander said. “They’ve seen the best that’s happened on this campus over the centuries — and some of the worst.”

Worrall said the exhibit has been developed through a process of “community curation,” meaning the museum works in cooperation with communities affected by and involved in the story.

“This year has been a very long, tumultuous road with MSU and working on this and helping curate it, it’s helping my healing process,” Smith said. “There are people that are standing behind us, who are willing to put their names on the line just to make sure that we’re supported.

That’s huge.”

Leading up to and following the exhibit’s opening, there will be three more events in the exhibit’s continuing “Speaker Series” on Feb. 12, Feb. 20, March 12 and April 23.

“There were these 228 trees, and the way I came to think of it with the mothers was that the trees really were witnesses. They’ve seen the best that’s happened on this campus over the centuries — and some of the worst.”

Riverview Church- MSU Venue MSU Union Ballroom, 2nd Floor 49 Abbot Rd. (517) 694-3400 Sun. Worship: 11:30am-ish www.rivchurch.com St. John Catholic Church and Student Center 327 M.A.C Ave. (517) 337-9778 Sun: 8am, 10am, Noon, 5pm, 7pm M,W,F: 12:15pm T & Th: 9:15pm www.stjohnmsu.org

University Luthern Church (ULC) Lutheran Campus Ministry at MSU 1020 S. Harrison (517) 332-2559 Sun. Worship: 8:30am & 10:45am (Sept–May) Summer Worship: 9:30am www.ulcel.org University United Methodist Church 1120 S. Harrison Rd (517) 351-7030 Main Service: Sun: 11am in the Sanctuary Additional Services: TGiT (Thank God its Thursday): Thur: 8pm in the Chapel of Apostles universitychurchhome.org office@eluumc.org WELS Lutheran Campus Ministry 704 Abbot Rd. (517) 580-3744 Sat: 6:30pm msu.edu/~welsluth

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Hillel Jewish Student Center 360 Charles St. (517) 332-1916 Services: Friday night 6pm, dinner @ 7, September–April www.msuhillel.org

Martin Luther Chapel Lutheran Student Center 444 Abbot Rd. (517) 332-0778 Sun: 9:30am & 7pm Wed: 7pm Mini-bus pick-up on campus (Fall/Spring) www.martinluther chapel.org

Religious Organizations:

Mark Auslander THUR SDAY, JANUARY 24, 2019

Greater Lansing Church of Christ 310 N. Hagadorn Rd. (Meet @ University Christian Church) (517) 898-3600 Sun: 8:45am Worship, 10am Bible Class Wed: 1pm, Small group bible study www.greaterlansing coc.org

The Islamic Society of Greater Lansing 920 S. Harrison Rd. (517) 351-4309 Friday Services: 12:15-12:45pm & 1:45-2:15pm For prayer times visit www.lansingislam.com/

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ONE YEAR LATER

AMASSING AN ARMY

BY CLAIRE MOORE CMOORE@STATENEWS.COM

It’s been a year since more than a hundred women and girls — many of them athletes — stepped forward to tell their stories to courthouses full of reporters, attorneys, family members and fellow survivors.

In victim impact statements, they told of their encounters with Larry Nassar, the serial pedophile formerly employed by Michigan State and USA Gymnastics.

The survivors’ story didn’t end when a handcuffed Nassar was led out of a courtroom.

Months after Nassar’s sentencing, a young woman and about 40 others began the process of establishing an organization to assist other survivors, including those from athletic backgrounds, in healing and recovering from sexual violence.

In summer 2018, their efforts led to the foundation of The Army of Survivors, an organization created to “bring awareness to the systematic problem of sexual abuse of athletes.”

A CLASSICAL BALLERINA

At a young age, Grace French knew she loved dancing. She loves plenty of different things: Coffee shops, traveling abroad and her current job with Shinola, a Detroit-based luxury goods company.

It’s in a coffee shop in her hometown of Okemos where French vividly recalls dancing.

She describes taking intensive ballet classes from age 4 and keeping with the sport through college. Her career goal was to become a professional ballet dancer.

Dancing would later take a toll on her, but it was not a dance-related injury that first brought her to Larry Nassar. At 12 years old, French saw Nassar for her wrist, which she’d sprained on the playground.

She remembers that appointment and Nassar’s actions. She described his treatment as an “invasive massage.”

French continued to see Nassar for dancerelated injuries well into 2014. Like hundreds of others, she was sexually abused by him. It wasn’t confined to his doctor’s office. Nassar’s treatments continued in the moments before she’d go onstage to perform with her company.

In an essay published September 2018, French wrote that at first, she didn’t see Nassar as her abuser.

“After all, my mom had been in the room at every appointment, he was an Olympic doctor, he treated all of the great gymnasts, figure skaters and dancers … I wanted to be just like them,” she wrote. “Even if I had told people I was uncomfortable with some of the treatments, would they have understood why they bothered me?”

The extent of his abuse came to light after dozens of news articles were later published. One after the other, more survivors came forward.

“Connecting the dots in my own story was devastating,” French wrote. “I felt my whole world and reality crash around me. The weight of his abuse and his control over the way I, my family and my community viewed him was too heavy even to comprehend.”

She experienced hip injuries too strenuous to heal — so significant that when she attended the University of Michigan, she dropped dance and switched to a business major.

Megan Ginter, right, embraces Katherine Gordon on the fourth day of ex-MSU and USA Gymnastics Dr. Larry Nassar’s sentencing on Jan. 19, 2018 at the Ingham County Circuit Court in Lansing. PHOTO BY NIC ANTAYA.

Grace French poses en pointe in front of bookshelves in 2016. PHOTO COURTESY OF DARREN CHENG.

GATHERING THE ARMY OF SURVIVORS

Years later, French was present in the courtroom alongside other women Nassar abused. His sentencing was imminent, but 30th Circuit Court Judge Rosemarie Aquilina allowed survivors to address Nassar first. French didn’t give a victim 6

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impact statement, but she recalls the one Rachael Denhollander gave.

“In the moment, when I was watching Rachael, I just had utter adoration for her,” French said.

“It was nice to understand that some day in my healing, I would get to that point.”

Inspired by her fellow survivors, French began creating an organization that could provide resources, advocacy efforts and education to victims of sexual violence. Her goal was to ensure no person, athlete or not, would experience what she’d gone through.

While her plan for an athlete survivor organization was still young, French received a resume and cover letter from a Lansing woman.

Louise Harder heard of French’s efforts. Like French, Harder was abused by Nassar.

As a teenager, Harder was deeply involved in athletics: Basketball, volleyball, water polo and diving. In 2009, her senior year of high school, Harder began seeing Nassar weekly for back pain.

She was recruited to join Albion College’s diving team, but stayed for only one semester.

Continued treatment by Nassar began affecting her mental health.

She transferred to Oakland University, where she spent the rest of her college career. Harder obtained a degree in wellness, health promotion and injury prevention — essentially public health, she said.

That background was key to her joining The Army of Survivors. She now sits on its Board of Directors. As the organization’s main strategist, her experience in evidence-based programming is crucial to how the organization moved forward over the past several months.

“I was looking at other trends that were happening in the country right now or in the last few years that have had impacts on the survivors,” Harder said.

Trends she catalogued included the #MeToo social media movement, which swept the nation in late 2017.

“We’re trying to make sure that all survivors have a voice and share that through our web platform and social media,” Harder said.

FINE-TUNING THEIR MISSION

In December 2018, The Army of Survivors underwent a structural change.

With Harder’s analyses, she and the THURSDAY, JANUA RY 24, 2 01 9

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organization’s Board of Directors found there was no singular national U.S. organization with a specific mission statement dedicated to supporting child athlete survivors of sexual violence. The board voted to tailor their mission to fill that void.

“We are looking to expand nationally,” Harder said. “We have army members outside Michigan that are helping, but we’re trying to be more national and be that voice for athlete survivors.”

While their new mission is “to bring awareness, accountability and transparency regarding the sexual violence of athletes at all levels,” the goal is for their work to impact all survivors of sexual violence.

“It doesn’t matter where you’re from,” Harder said.

The Army of Survivors was already rooted in three principles, according to French: Providing resources to survivors of sexual violence, advocating for stronger policies to combat sexual violence and pushing for stronger education on prevention of sexual violence.

“We refer people to other organizations that have resources we found helpful,” French said.

“That could be hotlines, that could be specific statistics that we found are really impactful, and having conversations around these things.”

ON A NATIONAL LEVEL

The Army of Survivors’ outreach is not limited to the Lansing area.

Outside of Michigan, 19-year-old health sciences freshman Megan Ginter attends Ohio State University. She and French are good friends — French is president and Ginter is the social media and public relations chair of The Army of Survivors.

Ginter met Larry Nassar at a young age, like French. Ginter experienced hip pain after years of practicing gymnastics and came to Lansing.

There at 13, she was abused by Nassar.

Years later, she’d travel to Lansing again — this time, to give her victim impact statement.

She was fearful in the courtroom. She said she felt even more vulnerable than she did the day she was abused.

“I was fearful going out in public, knowing that I’d have to be around a man,” Ginter said.

“Whether I was with somebody or not, it was like life halted.”

In the year since then, Ginter said her life

ONE YEAR LATER TOP: Community Member Grace French calls for Interim President Engler’s resignation at the Action Meeting of Board of Trustees at the Hannah Administration Building on June 22, 2018. PHOTO BY ANNIE BARKER. BOTTOM LEFT: Louise Harder is a strategist on The Army of Survivors’ Board of Directors. PHOTO COURTESY OF LOUISE HARDER. BOTTOM RIGHT: Amanda Smith, a member of the The Army of Survivors, poses at the first panel at the MSU Museum Jan. 15. The series will continue on throughout the semester, each discussion focusing on a different theme. PHOTO BY ANNTANINNA BIONDO.

“I had a voice and it mattered. I had a name. I wasn’t a Jane Doe and a number, I was a person.”

Amanda Smith

Gymnast and Sister Survivor changed. Opening up publicly, talking to friends, managing social media for The Army of Survivors and getting involved in campus organizations has helped her heal.

“I never thought I’d be able to talk about it so openly like I do,” Ginter said.

Two years of therapy made her realize she couldn’t expect things to improve unless she put forth the effort to change things.

“I knew I did not want to remain the same,” Ginter said. “That wasn’t possible before I took the initiative and actually moved forward.”

Now, Ginter is part of the effort to establish The Army of Survivors as a nationwide organization.

“It’s been kind of difficult doing it as a student just because it’s so much going on,” Ginter said.

“But I feel like this organization is so important because, at least to my knowledge, there aren’t any sexual assault prevention organizations for just sports, so this is needed.”

BUILDING AN ARMY

Amanda Smith’s young children can be heard in

the background when she answers the phone.

The 27-year-old Lansing resident and mother of two says she has spent her afternoon preparing to go to one of The Army of Survivors’ outreach events.

In attendance will be other sister survivors, members of the public and Judge Rosemarie Aquilina. The event is a speaker series hosted

by The Army of Survivors and co-sponsored by the Michigan State University Museum.

Smith’s life now starkly contrasts the one she lived in January 2018.

Smith was in court for multiple days of victim impact statements. She initially decided that when her turn came, she would not go public.

Then before she spoke, she watched two 15-year-old survivors address the court, one being Emma Ann Miller. Her words made Smith decide to go public with her name in court.

“Looking around at all these women who went through the same thing as me, it made me realize that I had a voice and it mattered. I had a name,” Smith said. “I wasn’t a Jane Doe

and a number, I was a person.”

With her husband at her side, she was publicly named. In her statement, she told of her days as a gymnast with Twistars Gymnastics Club: At 8, she saw Nassar. The abuse happened when she was 13.

The Army of Survivors wasn’t even a thought yet, but the women collectively sharing their victim impact statements laid the groundwork for the organization.

“That really started the base of it, because we all became sisters at that point,” Smith said.

On MSU’s campus, the speaker series allows other survivors — not just of Nassar — to talk about their paths to recovery.

The series of talks that began in mid-January — titled “Finding our Voice: Sister Survivors Speak” — was organized by the MSU Museum and The Army of Survivors. The series leads up to the opening of the museum’s exhibit “Finding our Voice: Sister Survivors Speak” in April.

The exhibit is made up of 221 teal ribbons from MSU’s campus after the victim impact

F E E DB AC K@ STAT E NE WS .COM

statements. They were woven around dozens of trees and tied near the Hannah Administration Building. MSU Museum Director Mark Auslander recalled the atmosphere on campus changing when the ribbons came to campus.

“It felt like there was this deep, dark gloom over campus and this was just a beautiful thing that was happening,” Auslander said.

The goal is to put that concept — and The Army of Survivors’ name — in people’s minds.

“When you’re believed from the start, it’s a lot easier to move on through the process,” Smith said.

That’s something that struck Smith as she gave her victim impact statement. In doing so, she began her own path to recovery.

“The biggest push in the right direction for me was being able to use all the animosity I had, and all the stress and turmoil, and turn it around and really help somebody else,” Smith said.

MOVING FORWARD

French says there are days where it’s difficult for survivors to continue building an army.

“There are some days where somebody who’s working with us will say, ‘I need to take a couple days off, it’s too much for me right now,’” French said.

Talking about sexual abuse and sexual assault every day is difficult because it can be triggering for survivors, she said. While the organization is comprised mainly of survivors, French said she wouldn’t change that for anything.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way. We all have this empathy and understanding of what survivors need and want,” French said.

Those within The Army of Survivors have dealt with tragedies with a goal in mind: Ensure no one else endures the same trauma.

“There’s been such a change in me individually, as well as us as a group, from taking something tragic and turning it into something great,” French said. “Pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps and saying ‘We can endure this pain every day so someone else doesn’t have to.’”

Larry Nassar was sentenced to 60 years in federal court, 40 to 175 years in Ingham County and 40 to 125 years in Eaton County. He spends his days at USP Coleman II, a high-security penitentiary in central Florida.

Meanwhile, The Army of Survivors aims to achieve nonprofit status by summer 2019.

T H U RS DAY, JANUARY 24 , 2 01 9

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FROM THE COVER

SURVIVOR:

EMMA ANN MILLER HEALING ONE YEAR LATER

BY MATT SCHMUCKER MSCHMUCKER@STATENEWS.COM

Final exams are hard enough when you aren’t facing your abuser in a courtroom that week.

Emma Ann Miller met with her therapist in January 2018 and decided it would be best not to go. She’d write a letter someday for him to read in prison.

She already had a busy week. She had finals.

She had dance practice every day. She didn’t need to be in a courtroom. But she finished her exam on Wednesday and told her mom she wanted to go. Her mom grabbed her a change of clothes and they went.

“I remember opening the door and he just looked at me,” Emma Ann said. “It was terrifying.”

Larry Nassar sat across the courtroom, staring.

Emma Ann sat in court listening to victim impact statements with her mother, Leslie Miller.

As they listened, Emma Ann kept noticing him staring and told her mom.

“I know,” Leslie said. “Just stare back.”

Leslie would fit right in with the other moms if she were at a soccer game. She’s loud, careful not to swear and will always remind you how great her kid is. The difference is that she’s not at a soccer game — she’s in court, at a protest or in a boardroom.

“When we were listening (in court), the tears started rolling down,” Leslie said. “We started crying uncontrollably —” “That’s when it really hit me. It brought back all the memories,” Emma Ann added.

8

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She and Leslie often trail off in the middle of thoughts, or help each other finish their sentences. Leslie says that comes from the trauma they’ve endured and it’s hard to disagree with her.

Wednesday after court, Emma Ann went straight back to her dance team practice.

Somebody on the team mentioned Nassar’s name. She went to the bathroom and started crying.

When Emma Ann got home that night, she typed up a first draft of her impact statement — one she planned to give anonymously. She says the first one she wrote was sad, emotional and long.

She wrote another draft Thursday, and another. Each draft she wrote got more angry — demanding answers and change — instead of just being sad.

“If I’m going to go and confront him about all of this stuff, I want to know why,” Emma Ann said. “Why did you have to do this, and why didn’t anyone stop it?”

By the time she was ready to give her own impact statement, she had written seven different versions. The statement she gave Jan. 22, 2018, was all seven put together.

That statement began: “Your Honor, it’s always been just my mom and I. I needed a positive male role model in my life. Nassar filled that spot for me.”

Larry Nassar was like a father to Emma Ann. He hung up her pictures in his office. He promised Emma Ann she could babysit his kids when she was older. He held her when she was a baby.

“I haven’t grown up with a dad in my life,”

THURSDAY, JANUARY 24, 2 01 9

Leslie Miller amd Emma Ann at a MSU football game. PHOTO COURTESY OF LESLIE MILLER.

F E E DB AC K@ STAT E NE WS .COM

Nassar survivor Emma Ann Miller speaks to the Board of Trustees during the public comment of the meeting as her mother, Leslie Miller, stands behind her Dec. 14, 2018 at the Hannah Administration Building.

PHOTO BY MATT SCHMUCKER.

Emma Ann said. “Since I was little, he was the one guy that was always there. He was my dad figure. ... He was so much more than a doctor.”

Nassar was Leslie’s doctor before he was Emma Ann’s, as far back as when Leslie was pregnant with Emma Ann. “It was more than him being my doctor, he was my friend,” Leslie said. “He was like family.”

He was a manipulator. Many of the survivors that gave impact statements in court talked about how he was like a friend to them or how he would see them after hours. Leslie and Emma Ann listened to the other women speak and started checking the same boxes in their heads.

“To me, it feels like somebody had taken a knife and just stabbed us,” Leslie said.

Story after story sounded so familiar to Emma Ann. “You felt like it was so personal but he did it to everyone else,” she said.

T he rea l izat ion of t he l ies he told c a me c r a sh i ng dow n on he r du r i ng Nassar’s sentencing.

“Even last year I didn’t really want to accept that it happened,” Emma Ann said.

“It wasn’t really until court that (I accepted that it happened) to me. I knew it happened, but I always wanted to be like, ‘No, it doesn’t affect me.’”

Emma Ann’s sadness — her anger — all built up. She had pushed aside her feelings and it had been long enough.

“I just wanted to face my abuser, the man I had known since before I was even born, and tell him how I feel,” Emma Ann said.

FROM THE COVER Emma Ann has been a Spartan since she was little. She grew up wanting to be on the MSU Dance Team. Two-or-three-week-old Emma Ann went to her first football game at Spartan Stadium.

When Leslie taught, her whole classroom was green and white.

So when Leslie and Emma Ann returned to Spartan Stadium for the season opener this year, Leslie’s friends noticed something was off.

“I’m proud to be a Spartan,” Leslie said. “(But) I couldn’t get myself to wear green and white.”

While Emma Ann no longer plans to attend MSU, her feelings are still just as conflicted. She took the time in her impact statement to both shout “Go green!” and to tell university officials that she thought it wasn’t a good idea to “piss off 150 women that you’ve sexually assaulted for 20 years.”

“I think most Spartan fans do support survivors,” Emma Ann said.

But MSU’s role in the healing process has often felt like the university is far from deserving of a cheer.

Once Lou Anna K. Simon resigned Jan. 24, 2018, her replacement was John Engler. Most did not have much faith in Engler’s interim term, but Emma Ann initially held out hope. She quickly found her optimism misplaced.

“It’s really the worst scenario,” she said. “You go from Lou Anna and you think it’s going to be all better and then, ‘Sike!’ Going to have Engler come in here and mess it up even more.”

Engler started his term saying the he would treat the survivors like his daughters. He later accused Rachael Denhollander of taking kickbacks from her attorney, offered Kaylee Lorincz a $250,000 check without her attorney present and most recently claimed many survivors were “enjoying” their time in the “spotlight.”

“I didn’t think he would want to put more salt in the wound, you know?” Emma Ann said.

Now, he’s no longer at MSU. On Jan. 16, new chairperson of the Board of Trustees Dianne Byrum asked Engler for his resignation, which came in later that day.

The board that finally pushed Engler out had new faces in January as newly elected Trustees Brianna Scott and Kelly Tebay took office next to appointed Trustee Nancy Schlichting, replacing Mitch Lyons, Brian Breslin and George Perles.

TOP TWO PHOTOS COURTESY OF LESLIE MILLER. BOTTOM PHOTO: Emma Ann Miller dances at a Haslett High basketball game Dec. 11, 2018.

PHOTO BY MATT SCHMUCKER

“Your actions make you look like this really isn’t that big of a deal for you. But it’s a big deal for me. And it’s a big deal for my sister survivors.”

Emma Ann Miller Sister Survivor adult. But Leslie remembers that Emma Ann is a high schooler, and she was worried about immature boys at school that Emma Ann would have to deal with.

Emma Ann just said: “People are always gonna hate.” She is 16 after all.

Emma Ann’s healing hasn’t been easy. As a junior in high school, she can’t just put her life on hold.

She’s missed classes to speak at MSU, and even when she’s at school, things can be tough.

“Memories pop out at me,” Emma Ann said, before adjusting. “Flashbacks, not memories.”

Whether it’s the way a teacher’s glasses catch the light, how the lights in the school are the same lights he had in his office or when a word she used in her impact statement popped up in a vocab quiz, this isn’t something Emma Ann is able to just avoid.

To say her time in school has been difficult, though, is not to say that she isn’t doing well. She was inducted into the National Honor Society this fall.

Emma Ann was skipping class Dec. 14, 2018, to speak in front of the MSU Board of Trustees

Between the new MSU officials and the action they’ve begun, Emma Ann and Leslie have started to feel some hope for the institution they loved. Leslie even pointed to one bright spot in particular: Tebay’s comments at the Jan. 17 meeting where Engler’s resignation was accepted.

“Kelly (Tebay) gets it, because Kelly has walked in our shoes. She’s been there before,” Leslie said. “She really cares.”

Emma Ann watched the livestream and cried, telling her mom: “She cares.”

With MSU actively during the last year of healing, Leslie and Emma Ann have had to find their own way in their healing.

They have had countless sleepless nights together as they’ve dealt with their trauma.

Nightmares that interfere with her sleep have become a fact of life for Emma Ann. Being up late at night and early in the morning to help Emma Ann has become common for Leslie. Emma Ann’s nightmares have been better as of late, but better still isn’t good.

“This is going to be a lifetime of therapy,” Leslie said. “It’s better to do the hard work now.”

Lots of hard work has been put in already, but much remains for Emma Ann and Leslie as they look to the future.

“We can’t go back in time,” Emma Ann said.

“But we can change how it will affect future survivors.”

You forget that Emma Ann is in high school after listening to her speak for a while. When Amanda Smith heard Emma Ann’s impact statement, she decided to go public with her name and story.

Leslie says Emma Ann has always been eloquent because it was always just the two of them, so Leslie always just spoke to her like an F E E DB AC K@ STAT E NE WS .COM

at 8 a.m. Not that she didn’t have her mom’s permission. In fact, Leslie spoke before she did.

“Engler, I would really appreciate it if you would be so adult-like and listen to my daughter here,” she said. “(She’s) 16 and missing high school for this.”

Leslie likes to make sure you remember Emma Ann is just 16.

Emma Ann stood before the board — not unlike how she stood before the court almost a year before — and spoke not as a 16-year-old, but as a survivor who was ready to see real change.

“You hold the power to change not only my life and the lives of my sister survivors, but to change the lives of sexual assault survivors around the country,” she said. “You have the power to affect change and you have the power to affect healing.

But you can’t do that just by settling legal claims.

You have to do that by showing the world you have changed. You have to do that by righting your wrongs. And you can only do that through your actions.

“Your actions make you look like this really isn’t that big of a deal for you. But it’s a big deal for me. And it’s a big deal for my sister survivors.”

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THE STATE N E WS

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F E E DB AC K@ STAT E NE WS .COM

ONE YEAR LATER

FIRST PERSON:

PHOTOGRAPHING LARRY NASSAR

RIGHT: Randall Margraves, father of Madison Rae Margraves and Lauren Margraves, has to be restrained after attempting to attack Larry Nassar Feb. 2, 2018, in the Eaton County courtroom.

LEFT: Larissa Boyce addresses the court during her victim impact statement on the second day of sentencing.

STORY AND PHOTOGRAPHY

BY ANNIE BARKER ABARKER@STATENEWS.COM

I joined two of my fellow State News reporters Feb. 2, 2018 in an Eaton County courtroom.

After working at The State News for a month, I attended the second day of Larry Nassar’s Eaton County sentencing. That day in court was one of the most difficult assignments I’ve shot — and still is.

Before I continue about my experience, I want to thank the survivors for standing up and delivering impact statements, continuing to speak at the Board of Trustees meetings and conducting rallies. Thank you for fighting for change. I would like to give the acknowledgment that nothing I had to deal with that day compares to the pain the survivors experienced for years, or how horribly the university has treated them.

I began working at The State News during a thrilling, horrifying and important time. Lou Anna K. Simon resigned as president, Nassar was in court and John Engler became the interim president. Thankfully, the latter is no longer true. I came to MSU in 2017 as an ignorant freshman. I knew little of what had been going on since 1997 until I began reporting on it.

Over the course of that day in court I sat tightly packed in the jury box with the other news organizations filming and taking photographs

of the proceedings. As court came into session, an uncomfortable shuffle between listening intently and searching for any facial and physical expression of emotion began. Any time a tear fell, a rush of camera shutters would rip through the silence.

I have the belief that you can be empathetic towards someone and try to place yourself in that person’s shoes, but ultimately you will not know what something is like until you experience it yourself. I will never fully understand what it was like, but the sentiments of anger, horror and sadness shown are critical to understanding the situation.

Toward the beginning of the sentencing that day, a father lunged at Nassar. Initially the situation was frightening, and I trembled as I took a picture of the police officers restraining him. Although the action was dealt with, it put things into greater perspective for me. None of the rallies or speeches at Board of Trustees meetings would compare to seeing the effects of Nassar and the raw emotions first hand.

One of the base ethical questions that journalists face is how they should cover an emergency or an emotionally charged event.

When a story arises we tiptoe on and over the line of someone’s privacy so the world can know what’s going on. On this occasion, I understand why the reporters were covering this case.

It’s clear Nassar caused long lasting damage and justly faced consequences. The world needed to know what he did and how the university failed. I understand the merit of taking these pictures, but that does not stop me from feeling the guilt and discomfort of photographing people in an open, emotional state. However, their emotional vulnerability was worth it. Their words put Nassar in his place — prison. I have incredible respect for the survivors delivering the impact statements and the friends and family that went up to the stand to support them.

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ONE YEAR LATER

Three MSU officials charged by AG

BY ANNA LIZ NICHOLS

for the Attorney General’s office, interviewed Klages, she said she was not aware of the abuse prior to 2016.

Survivor Larissa Boyce tells a different story.

Boyce and an anonymous witness testified they reported Nassar’s sexual abuse to Klages when they were teenagers in the Spartan Youth Gymnastics program in 1997.

Klages is awaiting trial.

ANICHOLS@STATENEWS.COM

The Michigan Attorney General’s office has been investigating MSU’s handling of Larry Nassar’s sexual abuse, looking into who failed to protect hundreds of victims.

The investigation was initiated by the MSU Board of Trustees. In a letter to then-Attorney General Bill Schuette dated Jan. 19, 2018, the fourth day of Nassar victim impact statements in Ingham County, the board promised MSU’s compliance.

“It has become clear to us, then, that the questions that are still being asked about the Nassar situation will not be satisfactorily resolved until they are answered as part of a separate review,” the letter reads.

Despite the universit y requesting the investigation, MSU has been “stonewalling” the investigative process, Special Prosecutor William Forsyth said in a public update on the investigation in December 2018.

MSU hired a private law firm to conduct its internal investigation and has not released adequate information from that investigation, according to Forsyth.

The university refused to release 177 requested documents to the state. Files unrelated to Nassar were released, stalling the investigation.

MSU claimed attorney-client privilege for the withheld documents and results of its internal investigation, creating roadblocks on the way to figuring out what exactly happened.

Here are the individuals charged in the investigation and the progress that’s been made on their cases:

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LOU ANNA K. SIMON

Former Michigan State President Lou Anna K. Simon shrugs about scheduling during her arraignment at the Eaton County Courthouse on Nov. 26, 2018. PHOTO BY ANNTANINNA BIONDO.

WILLIAM STRAMPEL

Former MSU dean William Strampel was the first to be charged. About 50 pornographic images were found on his computer, including several thought to be of MSU students.

In June 2018, three women testified against Strampel at his preliminary hearing in East Lansing. They told the court they were solicited for sex, groped and sexually harassed — one woman while working under Strampel and two women who were medical students at the time.

Strampel faces further scrutiny as Nassar’s former boss, specifically concerning the April 2014 Title IX investigation that cleared Nassar and allowed him to continue seeing patients.

Upon conclusion of the investigation, Strampel

THURSDAY, JANUARY 24, 2 01 9

was given specific guidelines for Nassar to follow. There was no enforcement or monitoring of the protocols.

He faces two felony charges of fourth-degree criminal sexual conduct and misconduct in office, and two misdemeanor charges of willful neglect.

KATHIE KLAGES

Former MSU gymnastics coach Kathie Klages faces two charges of lying to a police officer related to her knowledge of Nassar’s abuse before it was publicly revealed in 2016.

Klages left the public eye after her suspension Feb. 13, 2017, and retired the next day.

When David Dwyre, chief of investigations

C I T Y @ STAT E NE WS .COM

Former President Lou Anna K. Simon resigned from MSU Jan. 24, 2018, the same day Nassar was sentenced to 40 to 175 years in prison in an Ingham County court.

Simon largely disappeared from the public eye before resurfacing to testify before a Senate subcommittee about MSU’s response to the Nassar scandal on June 5, 2018.

Simon said she was aware in 2014 that a sports medicine doctor was under review, but not of the nature of the investigation nor that Nassar was implicated.

According to Simon’s arrest warrant, she told investigators she had no knowledge of Nassar’s abuse prior to 2016, when “in fact she knew it was Larry Nassar who was the subject of the 2014 MSU Title IX investigation.”

During the Title IX investigation, Simon met with Paulette Granberry Russell, former head of MSU’s Title IX office and senior advisor to the president. Documents in Simon’s handwriting from the meeting are being used as evidence of her knowledge of Nassar’s conduct.

Simon faces four counts of ly ing to investigators.