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Spring Break Trips to France and Puerto Rico

Comedy: Favorite Comedians

Baseball Team travels to Florida

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Eagan Independent Volume 5, Issue 7

Eagan High School | 4185 Braddock Trail | Eagan, MN 55123

April 13, 2010

Budget Cuts Mean Lost Teachers

By Alanna Thelen News Writer

As of March 29, the District 196 school board voted on and passed a bill for reductions in the district budget. With the newly passed bill, the district will see reductions of $15.3 million in funding for activities and supplies among other things. A large area of the budget adjustments in which students will directly see the effects is in staffing. Throughout the district, the equivalent of 78.7 classroom teachers will be laid off to accommodate the new budget adjustments. In addition 29.5 positions throughout the district will be cut from administrative, district office, and custodial areas. 35.5 other staff members will be laid off as well. The staffing reductions total 143.7 posi-

tions throughout the district. The district reports that it will save an average of $55,858 per position. Here at Eagan High School, 7.5 full time equivalent teachers will be cut. There will be cuts in clerical and administrative jobs as well. According to Peter Zak, Assistant Principal of Eagan High School, all departments could see cuts. Which teachers will be laid off will depend on student enrollment numbers determined through the enrollment process. Class size dictates the decision of the cuts. The budget cuts are a result of a reduction in state funding. In some places the state has not increased funding and in other places the state has cut funding, causing the school district to find ways to deal with the budget

cuts. Students will see the effects of the staffing reduction starting next year. Class sizes will be increased by an average of two students per class. With the loss of teachers and in turn, classes, there will be extra rooms open. Two classrooms will be used as resource rooms, which is part of the Pyramid of Intervention Program. The Pyramid of Intervention Program is a program that helps students at risk and already includes Flex Days. The district has already seen budget cuts in the past. Last year, ten million dollars were cut out of the district budget, but the reductions went largely unnoticed by students because the cuts were kept in areas outside of the classroom. However, class

Photo by Rachel Larson Hallways will be emptier next year, not from fewer students but because nearly 80 teachers will be cut from the district payroll. size has gradually increased over the years from around 24 students per class to a current average of 27 students per class. Unfortunately, these may

not be the last budget cuts that our district will face. Mr. Zak stated, “They told us to prepare for another year of cuts after this.”

Pippin Reigns on the Stage Stud Gov Plans Faculty Appreciation Days

By Twie Souvannavong News Writer

This spring, Eagan’s Drama department presents the hit Broadway musical comedy Pippin. Pippin is about a pacifist prince who’s well-educated, hopeful, and curious in finding the true meaning of happiness. He looks for happiness in all sorts of places but ends up finding it in a simple place. The whole story begins when the prince returns from school. Once he returns, he sees that his father is about to go to war with another clan, the Visigoths. Wondering if joy comes from a battlefield, he asks his father if he could join the war. The king eventually approves that request after some persuading. The young prince then goes to experience the gore of war. After his first battle, he sees that war is just a violent game and walks away. The next place he looks for happiness is in having political power. The prince then takes his father’s life in order to control the kingdom. He then tries hard to not be an absolute ruler, but the people preferred the dictatorship. He then gives the throne back to his father. In the end, Pippin finally figures out the meaning of happiness and fulfillment. It took him two acts to discover that it’s love, proving home is

By Seth Lynch News Writer

Photo by Michelle Metcalfe Cast members rehearse dance steps in the Multipurpose Room. where your heart is. “This show is a very magical show. It’s energetic and exciting with a great cast performing it,” remarked director Dennis Swanson. The whole cast is made up of 32 students who meet daily after school to practice. Of the 32 students, eight were chosen to play a main role. Playing main roles are three seniors, four juniors, and a sophomore. The seniors are Javier Ferreira as The Leading Player, Jordan Oxborough as Prince Pippin and Adam Iverson playing a young kid named Theo. Arnesh Roy plays King Charles and Maddie Sachs plays Fastrada (Charles’ wife). Pippin’s love interest is Cath-

erine, played by Bailey Richardson. Lastly, Rachel Graff plays Berthe, Pippin’s wise grandmother. The rest of the cast are a “Band of Players,” led by the Leading Player. Swanson is a retired teacher having taught speech, drama, and film studies. Mr. Swanson has been directing since 1971 and he started in Mankato then went to direct at Apple Valley for 13 years and has been at Eagan since 1989. Pippin is the 27th show he has directed since his retirement in 2003. Pippin will be playing at EHS on April 30th-May 1st. Then will resume playing for another three consecutive days, May 6th-8th. All of these shows start at 7:30.

Student government has been a strong driving force behind many of the events and activities that Eagan has had for many years. Next May is teacher appreciation month and the student government has been working hard to make sure that this year appreciates all the staff

just as well as years past. This year will follow the blueprint of years past, faculty will be treated to things like breakfast, extra clean rooms, and ice cream socials by the students. Each grade will be assigned a different part of the faculty who they will be doing something for. Freshmen in student governContinue on page 6

News in Brief

By Kaila Vogt News Editor

Teachers Win District-wide Awards

Congratulations to teachers Mr. Saxton and Mr. Madar. They won the District 196 Outstanding Service Award for their dedication to the district. Mr. Saxton teaches Spanish and works down in the ITC while Mr. Madar helps new families adapt to District 196. Congratulations to these teachers and all the other recipients in the district.

Panda Express Helps Reach A City Goal

On April 15 a special event will be held at the newly open Panda Express in Eagan. The restaurant is teaming up with Eagan’s 150th anniversary; so if you donate a food item or money on April 15 you can get free Panda Express. All the food and money will be donated to local food shelves to reach the cities goal of 150,000 pounds of food.


Eagan Independent | Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Editorial

Staying on track Weronika Janczuk Co-Editor in Chief It’s that time of year again: Mid-April, with May coming up way too quickly. In the next two months or so, we’ll take A.P. tests; graduate, and then the end of school, will follow. Probably most important about the next two weeks, at least for those seniors who plan to continue their education, is deciding which college to attend. Freshmen and sophomores may listen to their older friends and siblings struggle to know what they want to do, while juniors will wonder what it will feel like making that decision next year. Let’s just say that senior year passes way too quickly, and that—once you finally have a few different choices—you realize how big of a decision it really is. High

school credits, A.P. grades, take a year off and work, or ACT/SAT scores: all of those travel to Europe to work with matter suddenly, whether to kids in an orphanage. You’re decide which college you can finally eighteen (most of you graduate from early or what are, anyways), and you’re schools will give you the most making a decision for yourmerit aid. Where you want to self: Make a good one, and attend school, where you will give it time. You have until be the happiest. May 1st to declare a spot at a It’s not a school, decision to be so do taken lightly, what and I think you that—to a have to degree—a lot of do to students let the make decision-maksure ing time come it’s the without preparright Courtesy of flickrcc.bluemountains.com ing for it. choice. For se And niors trying to decide, I urge juniors: The best piece of you to think about the deciadvice I can give you? Take a sion from all ends of the spec- day or two out of your sumtrum. College doesn’t make mer vacation, maybe in late the person, but it does set a August when you’re getting foundation—financially, geoa little bit bored, and do some graphically—for your future. research. Check out which If it’s cheapest to stay here in schools fit you. Submit some Minnesota, for example, and scholarships. Start writing esthen spend lots of money on a says. good graduate school, maybe The worst way to hurt that decision is better than yourself is by letting your getting out and heading to grades drop first trimester California. Maybe you should senior year, especially if

you’re applying to the more/ most selective schools. If you study for the A.P. tests and get reasonable scores—depending on where you’re looking at for college—you can get credit. Save a few hundred to a thousand bucks. Graduate a year early. Same goes for sophomores in A.P.U.S.H. Really, a lot goes into this process, and you can do a lot to make everything go smoothly. Sure, it’s nearly the end of the school year, but don’t stop trying just yet. Don’t lower your standards for yourself or possible college or workplace plans. If you start doing that now, you may end up doing it for the rest of your life. A little less than a month and a half are left until everyone is done. When you really think about it, that’s not much time. I hope everyone—seniors deciding about college or other plans, juniors getting ready for that process in the fall, sophomores and freshman who’ve barely started thinking about what they’re going to do after high school—goes out with a bang.

The Staff Editors in Chief Weronika Janczuk Lauren Schmitt News Kaila Vogt - Editor Taylor Dewall Seth Lynch Mayzong Lee Twie Souvannavong Joe Stelman Alanna Thelen Features Jouapag Lee - Editor Kristine Gates Tara Huusko Pearce Olson Sarah Swenson Megan Westlund Sports Rachel Berryman - Editor Molly Martinez Matt Novitzki Daniel Peters Cameron VanDyke Photography Rita Kovtun - Editor Neal Kunik Rachel Larson Michelle Metcalfe Adviser Sara Stensaas

A catchy disease: Spring Fever

Lauren Schmitt Co-Editor in Chief

Each year, when the days get longer and the temperatures climb, a seemingly infectious disease spreads through Eagan High School and schools all around the country. Not head lice or H1N1, but spring fever. Symptoms can include—but are not limited to—prolonged and wistful gazing out of windows, an irrepressible urge to wear shorts and a tank top despite the lingering frost, a craving for sunlight or a tendency to neglect homework. I think even teachers are itching to be done for the year—why else would there be so many projects? We rediscover our surroundings, including our neighbors, whom we barely waved to all winter, and the sound of birds. Here at Eagan, spring break has already passed, but it too has historical origins. In fact, it seems every group throughout history has found a reason to celebrate spring. The Greeks and Romans celebrated Dionysus and Bacchus—their respective gods of wine. More recently, Sam Ingram, a swimming coach at Colgate University, is

young adults travel to resort credited with initiating the areas throughout Mexico annual southern migration. over Spring Break each year. Ingram brought his swimming team to Fort Lauderdale While the vast majority enjoys their vacation without inciin the spring of 1936 to train dent, several may die, hunat the outdoor, Olympicdreds will be arrested, and sized swimming pool. The still more will make mistakes city began to host the “Swim that could affect them for Forum” in March to capitalthe rest of their lives.” That ize on the tourism and soon sounds a little ominous for a large crowds were flocking to fun spring break. Florida. While spring fever The 70’s brought an even more raucous party to Fort Lauderdale, attracting as many as 370,000 students and leading its mayor to say on a “Good Morning America” appearance that hordes of high school and college students were no longer welcome there. Courtesy of flickrcc.bluemountains.net It isn’t hard to imagine why local officials are can’t be blamed for a complete lack of judgment, this getting more and more hesiaffliction we experience closer tant to welcome the yearly to home is more than a figvisitors. At the beginning ment of our imagination. It is of last month a high school senior, Matt James—a Univer- rooted in hormonal changes linked to seasonal changes. sity of Notre Dame football Scientists know that recruit, fell out of a fifth floor the retina (part of the eye) window to his death. He was triggers hormonal changes drunk and on a spring break as it reacts to variations in trip with forty friends in daylight. The hormone that’s Florida and only six adults. primarily affected is melaHe isn’t the first either. The tonin, a naturally occurring spring craze seems to claim a compound that influences victim or two every year. sleep. With less melatonin, Concerning spring the need for sleep decreases break in Mexico the United and greater wakefulness can States Department of State occur. Travel writes “Over 100,000 I’m not sure how American teenagers and

many high school students can relate to wanting less sleep, I suspect many, like me, are lured into staying up later as the hours of sunlight increase. Our craving for carbohydrates also can decrease, and many find themselves trying to work off the extra pounds added during a sedentary winter. Sadly, this exercise craze also coincides with a peak in spring heart attacks. Anthropologists have linked this phenomenon to a hibernating genetic relative. Historians have credited colonists with coining the term spring fever to describe the pent-up energy and irritability that many of them felt in the spring. For the colonists, this was likely a combination of limited exercise in the winter and a bad case of scurvy from a lack of fruits and vegetables—but the symptoms are applicable at the very least. The start of the third trimester—and the middle of the third trimester, honestly, always seems so relaxed. The end of the year sneaks up despite two long months without break. As relaxed as spring can be, don’t regret a lack of effort next year—or for seniors, don’t give yourself any cause to worry when you have to send your final transcript to your college. So go enjoy the weather before the mosquitoes swarm…but mix some homework in too.

Editorial Policy The Eagan Independent is a monthly publication produced by Eagan High School students from all grade levels in a cocurricular setting. We are committed to providing a limited open forum within the community of Eagan High School - one in which opinions, discussion and input are always welcomed and encouraged. Comments, questions, thoughts and ideas may be addressed to: Eagan Independent 4185 Braddock Trail Eagan, MN 55123 or e-mailed to: eaganindependent@gmail. com Letters to the editor must be signed by the author and be 500 words or less. Letters to the editor submitted that are more than 500 words may be edited by the staff. Letters may also require editing if they contain false or libelous statements. Editorial policies and content decisions are made by the editorial board. The opinions expressed in this publication are those of the writer and/or the Eagan Independent staff and are not necesssarily the opinons of the adviser, administration, students, faculty or Independent School District 196.


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Eagan Independent | Tuesday, April 13, 2010

School Groups Travel During Spring Break

degrees Fahrenheit in Puerto By Taylor Dewall part was staying with a host Rico was over 200 years ago.” family in the south of France News Writer This 40 degree weather was While most students for about five days. My host comparable to the weather in traveled somewhere during and I became Minnesota durspring break with their famireally close ing spring break. lies, others traveled with a friends, group of Eagan High students Along with all and I loved the fun they had to Puerto Rico or France. being able On Friday March 19th the they still played to totally their instruments Eagan High School band stuimmerse dents left for the tropical Unit- for a few different myself in venues; including ed States territory of Puerto the French the Plaza de Armas Rico. About 70 students, culture! We where people sophomores to seniors, atwere intertended this trip that lasted for could stop and lisested in the ten to them play. five days from Friday March same things, Over 4,000 19th to Wednesday March so we had miles away, French 24th. On their trip they visa ton of fun students traveled ited the beautiful El Yunque Photo courtesy of Michelle shopping, to France to learn Rainforest that stretches over Anderson. horseback more about the lan- A waterfall in the El Yunque 28,000 acres and is home to riding, and guage and culture. Rainforest. hundreds of different species hanging Only 16 students, of tropical trees, flowers, and out with wildlife. They also traveled to sophomores friends.” through seniors, attended this She also stated that “French Bioluminescent trip. Not only did culture is so different from Bay where the they sightsee, but American culture- they live in water literthey also were ally glows a such an unhurried way, and able to stay with bluish-green take the time to enjoy life.” a French family color. In adWhen asked what it was like during their time to live with a French family dition they there. The stualso visited junior Emily Gebhart stated, dents headed for Old San Juan “It’s cool staying with an France on Friday actual family because it gives which is March 19th like the oldest you a chance to feel what it’s the band stusettlement in really like to live in France. dents, but they Puerto Rico. My family was really nice didn’t return The students and they took me to a bunch until March 30th. of cool places including an also got the chance to ride island on the Mediterranean Photo courtesy of Cassie Meyer During their trip they vison a catamaThe Eiffel Tower in Paris, Sea. My host mom was a reited the south of France. ran, a small ally good cook and I had a lot France and also simple boat. of fun trying new foods.” She Paris where they When asked later advised, “If you ever get visited the Eiffel junior Jennifer the chance to travel to another Tower, the Louvre, and the Anderson, a student here at country and stay with a host Eagan, what was one interest- Arc de Triumph. When asked family you should do it! It’s what her favorite part of the ing fact she learned when she so much fun to meet new peotraveled to Puerto Rico she re- trip was, junior Jessica Swanple and see the country from a son replied, “My favorite plied, “The last time it was 40 totally different perspective.”

Speech’s Magical Moments

By Mayzong Lee News Writer

With the speech season coming to an end and many Eagan High School students qualifying for nationals in the upcoming weeks, the Eagan High School speech department gave the public a little peek into their program through Magical Moments. This event, known as Magical Moments, has been going on for the past 18 years. With Magical Moments all speech participants are given the opportunity to recite their speech within two or three minutes, while captains and/or national qualifying students get to deliver their whole speech. Magical Moments is a public performance in which anyone can attend as long as a ticket has been purchased. For Ms. Anker, a speech coach, the best thing about Magical Moments is that “[we get] the chance to see every kid speak, even if it’s for a [brief] moment.” That is 107 students who performed at

were achieved. For example, this year’s speech team was undefeated; Jacob Schornak, a senior speaker, says that the best thing about this year’s season was, “winning Eastview, their faces were priceless.” Furthermore there are many students who are going to compete at the national and state level. Schornak says, “[my own personal] goal is to win state”. Schornak participates in storytelling. For Robert Knapp, a junior, the best part for him was that he double broke in every tournament that he took part in. However, for Michelle Wagner the best part for her was the traveling. This year’s speech team was able to take part in tournaments that Photo by Rita Kovtun Continued on page 6. Speech member Christina Johnson practices her speech performance.

this year’s show. For the 2010 speech season there were many personal and team goals that

Pont du Gard Aquaduct

French trip group Photos provided Tracy Gutzman

Versailles Palace

State Results Math Team and Science Olympiad Team make it to their state tournaments

By Joe Stelman News Writer On Monday March 8th, the EHS Math Team represented Eagan High School at the 26th annual Minnesota Math League State Tournament held at South Saint Paul High School. Though the entire team contributed to a successful season, ultimately eight team members were selected to compete at the state competition, among them: senior Tara Huusko, juniors Lars Johnson, Victoria Anderson, Jordan Pesik, Michael Peterson and Ryan Pham, sophomore Saurabh Mishra, and freshman Tim Anderson. Overall, Eagan placed 15th out of 28 Tier one schools and ranked 3rd out of 8 schools in the South Suburban division. The Wildcat Math Team achieved 57 total points based on individual and team events (in comparison with Eastview’s 80 and Apple Valley’s 32, both schools in the South Suburban Division). Additionally, the Wildcats achieved a season total accumulation of 374 points, a respectable standing among Eastview’s 437 and Apple Valley’s 376. One standout member of the team, junior Lars Johnson, was one of a special group of Invited Invitational participants to the state tournament based on his strong seasonal performance. He also broke a school record for the most regular season individual point totals, having earned 61 total seasonal points. Additionally, Lars was one of the top ten scorers in a special invitational event that qualified him to participate in a “math bowl” in which students

individually answer questions on stage within a two-minute time frame. Math team members are optimistic about their experience at State. “We did fairly well,” says team member junior Jordan Pesik. “It’s an enjoyable experience knowing you’re with some of the top math minds in Minnesota.” Among other academic team events, the EHS Science Olympiad Team went to State on Saturday, March 13th at the University of St. Thomas. The team finished 22nd out of 32 teams. The team competed for awards in a diverse array of scientific events in topics such as physical science, chemistry, earth and space science, and technology and engineering. In a few individual events, honorable mention went to team members DJ Murray and Sean Simon took sixth place in Ornithology, a zoological category related to bird study. Additionally, senior DJ Murray took eighth place in Trajectory, a physicsbased category that involves creating and testing a personally crafted catapult. Juniors Shane Simonett and Bokil Lopez-Pineda took ninth place in Dynamic Planet, an earth science category that explores geology and plate tectonics. “It’s about how accurate you are and how well you explain how the [experiments] happen,” says Lopez-Pineda. “We have done better,” commented Simonett, “but its good experience evaluating variables and coming to conclusions.” Overall, both teams rounded out successful seasons, keeping the Wildcats well-represented in academic competition.


Eagan Independent | Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Features

Common Sense and a Sense of Humor

By Jouapag Lee Features Editor

Having a sense of humor is arguably essential to making it through not only high school, but also the rest of your life. To be able to laugh or smile at your mistakes or own idiocy is a key to being happier. In fact, humor cannot be learned; it is acquired and developed as we interact with each other. Often, laughter is a way we approach an otherwise overwhelming prospect. Humor is how we build relationships, how we meet new people. Humor though is a doubleedged sword. While it is a universal language, it can also pick at divides in society. For example, laughing at something we shouldn’t be, racist jokes or even obscene degrading jokes. Thus, we’ve decided to take an all-around

Graphic courtesy of chippewatheaterguild.com

Comedian Central:

Stand Up Comedy & their Personalities

By Tara Huusko Features Writer Stand-up comedy is a type of comedy in which a comedian performs in front of a live audience. Stand-up comedy performances are generally short, and consist of short “bits.” These “bits” can be short stories (of the comedic variety), jokes, or one-liners. The act that these bits make up is called a monologue. Often, stand-up comedians work for years to perfect a forty-five minute routine that they repeat often. As Will Ferrell said, stand-up comedy is “Hard, lonely, and vicious.” (Just think the Tonight Show and Jay Leno versus Conan O’Brien.) Stand-up comedy has its roots in traditional 19th century entertainment such as vaudeville. The fathers of US stand-up comedy are Jack Benny, Bob Hope, Fred Allen, Milton Berle, and Frank Fay, who all came from vaudeville. The well-known show Saturday Night Live launched the careers of many stand-up comedians.

Will Ferrell: Will Ferrell is a very well known comedian. After graduating from USC with a degree in Sports

look at humor. Whether that humor crosses cultures, genders, or age, it’s important to understand what it is and why it is the human gift got coping and survival. This April, we introduce “Humor” as our month’s theme. All things considered, it’s not a bad way to kick off third tri, which in itself is an otherwise overwhelming prospect.

Information, Ferrell became a member of The Groundings, an improv comedy group. In 1995, Ferrell joined the cast of SNL. He is probably the best-known President George W Bush impersonator. Ferrell then transferred his comedic ability to film. His films range from Elf, to Step Brothers. Ferrell also created the website funnyordie.com. Funny or Die is a website where short comedy films are uploaded and available for viewing.

Photo Courtesy of tallhorsewines.files.wordpress.com

Steve Martin: Martin’s career was started in the 1960’s, and by the mid 1970’s Martin was a regular come-

I don’t Get it...

dian on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Martin also joined the cast of Saturday Night Live. During the 1970’s Martin was well-known for his offbeat comedy acts, later branching out to other forms of entertainment such as acting and producing. Along with an impressive film resume, Martin is also a successful writer has published several books. He was awarded the Lifetime Achievement Award in Comedy in 2000.

Why Is It Funny there & Not Here? By Sarah Swenson Features Writer Since America has been a country, its humor has evolved separately from other countries around the world. The things that we might find to be hilarious here aren’t necessarily considered funny anywhere else. Likewise, we might not find much appealing about the humor from other places. In America, one might say that the humor is slightly less sophisticated than in most other countries. Bodily functions are often found to be hilarious by most Americans; physical comedy is another commonly used theme throughout our comedic history. Much of the humor pokes fun at the different aspects of American culture- this is known as an “observational” humor technique. Most of the humor in the United States isn’t quite as understated as humor often is in other countries. Although this sometimes makes it seem over the top or ridiculous, it is a staple of American humor. The main outlets for American humor are movies and television shows. However, humor is all around us; in newspapers, magazines, advertisements, and live comedy. Television shows have developed from The Three Stooges and I Love Lucy to more modern shows like Friends and Two and A Half Men, and films have moved from the silent films of actors such as Charlie Chaplin to current movies featuring actors such as Will Ferrell and Ben Stiller. Americans look for a guffaw in their humor, and use less subtle methods to

achieve laughter. In opposition to American humor, there is British humor, which has the tendency to be very dry and sarcastic. British comedians tend to say everything with a straight face, as they did in Monty Python. Comedy from Britain tends to include innuendo, black comedy, mocking of the class system in Britain, foreigners, eccentric people, and everyday life. Much British humor is either extremely absurd such as Monty Python, or totally mundane, like the, originally British, TV show The Office. In other countries, comedy continues to differ. For instance in China, a majority of the humor is very historically based and many of the jokes have been around forever. In Japan, the game shows are entirely based upon ridiculous physical challenges. Showcased by the show I Survived a Japanese Game Show, these challenges can also be found online- and they are funny despite the inability to understand the language. Humor in Canada tends to be more polite and although there is satire, it tends to be a little nicer than some of the sarcasm is in England or America. Different countries have many diverse traditions when it comes to humor; yet each country can bring something to the table and teach the rest of the world something about humor. Many different shows and movies have been adapted into different countries, and genres of humor have grown across the globe to expand the ways that make us laugh.

Photo Courtesy of mroselamb.wordpress.com

Bill Cosby: Cosby produced and starred in The Cosby Show. His show was not only a comedic reliever, but

also a historic sitcom that for the first time featured a middleclass African American family. As a growing comedian, Cosby differed from the majority of other stand-up comedians. While most comedians were using risqué material, Cosby made his reputation by taking material from his childhood. In 2009, Cosby was awarded the Mark Twain Prize, America’s foremost award for humor. Photo Courtesy of broadwayworld.com

What is... By Kristine Gates Features Writer Mark Twain said that “the human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.” We all do it every day, but what is it really? Why do people laugh and what makes us laugh when we shouldn’t? Laughter is something that crosses international barriers. It’s something acknowledged in every language across the globe. Ranging from the usual “ha ha” to a “hee hee” sound, the noise is unmistakable and part of the universal vocabulary. However, the meaning and the purpose laughter serves aren’t very popular research topics. Most assume it is solely a response to comedy or a way to improve your mood, yet it is much more than that. It is actually an instinctive behavior programmed in through our genes rather than something learned. It is its own universal language that brings people

Laughter?

Photo by Rachel Larson

Laughter is mainly a social response, and is more likely to be triggered in an group than alone.

together. Furthermore, laughter is mainly a social response. When alone, people are more likely to either talk to themselves or smile than laugh; but while in a social situation, someone would more likely laugh at something. Laughter is more of an unconscious signal sent to others which practically disappears once a person is alone. Laughter is very difficult to control consciously. Most would say it is difficult or nearly impossible to laugh

on command without being forced. The atmosphere is the most likely trigger. Being in a group, playfulness, and positive emotional tones are the usual factors to create an environment for laughter. Laughter is also considered contagious, as many of us will attest to. Since the action is mainly unconsciously done, it is usually uncensored. This brings us to the question as to why we laugh when we shouldn’t. Generally it is thought because someone is Story cont on page 6


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Eagan Independent | Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Dinner & a Movie

She’s Average For Out Of My League

By Pearce Olson Features Writer

Pearce “O’s” Rating Scale

Zero “O’s” = Are You Kidding Me? One “O” = Waste of Time Two “O’s” = Wait for DVD Three “O’s” = Go Four “O’s” = Must See!

It seems everything in life can be judged on a bell shaped curve. Anything from grades to the skill of athletes, the bell shape curve makes the best things rare and prized, while the worst things are also rare but looked down upon. Most things fall in the middle. The same goes for movies. The two star rating is the most popular rating on a four-star scale, because most movies are good but are lacking quality when compared to film classics like The Godfather and Casablanca. This issue I saw a relatively mediocre film: She’s Out of My League. Most critics love praising great films and destroying horrible films but spend little time on the ones that fall in the middle. Frankly the ones in the middle should deserve the most attention because without them there would be no greats or flops in the film industry. She’s Out of My League is the story of a nerdy, goingnowhere young man who

By Sarah Swenson Features Writer

somehow attracts the affections of a drop-dead gorgeous young female attorney. Molly, played by a relative new actress Alice Eve, goes through airport security and forgets her cell phone as she scrambles to catch a flight. Molly has her friend call the phone, which is picked up by Kirk, a nerdy TSA officer played by Jay Baruchel. They agree to meet when she returns from her trip and the rest is history. The classic story of a super hot girl giving an awkward unconfident guy a chance is milked for every drop in this film. I could tell you how

honest, none of that matters, because I thought She’s Out of My League was quite funny. Even though the movie hops on the band wagon of films that try to use the awkward humor that was ushered in by the comedy Superbad, the film presents well thought out dialogue and creative jokes. The majority of the praise should be credited to Jay Baruchel for making the character Kirk personable and easy to root for. Similar movies let the unsocial and clumsy main character become unlikable, leading to disconnection with the audience. Here, Baruchel manages to be nerdy enough without ever being annoying, and insecure enough without ever being pathetic. I laughed out loud a few times and giggled through the majority of it. The story Photo courtesy of lamoviedriver.com achieves a good mix of silliness the plot is predictable. And and sincerity. This film would of course, I would be kickbe perfect for any setting ing myself for days if I didn’t where the audience doesn’t mention that many of the want to dive deep into a story story twists are illogical. and just wants something to Possibly, I should produce a few laughs. point out that the characters This movie achieves are generally two-dimenits purpose of delivering a sional and unrealistic. I also good feel comedy, but still needs to be judged on the probably ought to note that same scale as every other film. director Jim Field Smith She’s Out of My League gets 2 didn’t seem quite sure how out of 4 O’s. to end the movie. But to be

Solo’s Pizza Cafe

Solo’s is a new pizza restaurant located in the brand new strip mall on Yankee Doodle Road. As the name Solos would suggest, they serve individual pizzas. Although they don’t deliver pizzas (except for orders over $50), the restaurant features dine in or take out options for less than $10. The interior of the restaurant is decorated mostly with reds, yellows, and greens. Several booths and tables extend to the back of the restaurant, and a large counter where one can watch their pizza being made, a bit similar to a Subway. A large menu posted on the wall displays their menu choices, which includes specialty pizzas as well as an option to create your own pizza. The specialty pizzas include a variety of toppings, as do the create-your-own pizzas. Marinara sauce is a given, but there are also pizzas with olive oil, as well as ones with buffalo, barbeque, or white garlic sauces. Sausage, pepperoni, chicken, bacon, beef, and Canadian bacon are the meat options, along

with mushrooms, peppers, artichokes, spinach, onions, tomatoes, and different spices. The cheese is a typical mozzarella, but additional types of cheese are available if you order extra. The pizzas all come in two sizes; Regular, which is 10” in diameter and costs $7.45 for the specialty pizzas, and Small, which costs $5.95

Photo courtesy of addsomespark. com and is 7”. The create-yourown pizzas start at $4.65 and $5.65, and each additional topping costs $.50 or $.65, respectively. In addition to pizzas, Solos also has several salads available. Small versions can be ordered alongside pizzas, or you can order a salad as a meal. I tried a small Caesar salad along with my meal,

and found it to be a little lackluster and seemed like it could have been made from a kit at the grocery store. The other salads seemed a bit more original however, so there is a good chance that they are a bit more exciting. There is also an option to create your own salad with different topping choices. The two pizzas that I tasted were “The White Hen,” a pizza with white garlic sauce, chicken, tomatoes, & onion, and “The Squawker,” which had barbeque sauce, chicken, bacon, onion, and green pepper. I enjoyed both, but I would highly recommend The White Hen, which I found to be delicious. The one aspect of both pizzas that I really enjoyed was the crust. I thought that the crust on all of the pizzas was very tasty. I really enjoyed Solos Pizza. The service was quick, the food was delicious, and the pizzas were much more unique than a typical pizza would be. It was relatively inexpensive and the food was great, although I would stick to pizza rather than salads- after all, that’s what it’s named for. All in all, I thought Solos was great- it earned 4.5 stars.

Twenty Questions:

Featuring Nicole Marella By Kristine Gates Features Writer 1. What are the 3 objects or things you love most and why? -Concerts, they are always exciting and I love music -Shopping, I love getting new things -My Mom, because she told me I had to say that.

Photo submitted by Nicole Marella

2. If you could go to any 3 places in the world, where would you go? -Greece, Venice, Iceland or Greenland

3.If you could have an entire city depopulated for a week to explore with your friends, which would it be, and what would you do? -Hollywood would be pretty cool. 4. What’s your worst pet peeve? -When people talk in third person. It’s SO annoying. 5.What’s your favorite horror movie? -I love The Shining even though it’s not very scary. 6. What was your favorite toy as a kid? -This doll that I called Baby Sister and I would carry her around everywhere I went. 7. What is the most played artist on your iPod? -Brad Paisley 8.What was the funniest thing you did as a kid? -Apparently I did this silly dance all the time and posed for every camera that I saw. 9.If you showed up to school naked and you had to explain yourself with just one sentence, what would it be? -“No clean clothes.” But I’m pretty sure someone would tell me before I left the house… 10. If you could have any superhero power, which would you pick? -Read minds or fly, both would be pretty sweet. 11. Whose life would you like to see made into a movie? -Britney Spears. It would defiantly be entertaining. 12. If you could be in any movie, which would you be in? -Transformers. 13. If someone made a movie of your life, who would you want to play you and why? - I would. Nobody could play me better than me plus I would get to be in a movie! 14. If you were ever on TV, what would it be for? -A cast member on The Real World 15. If you could put anyone on a postage stamp, who would you choose? -Myself. How cool would that be?! 16. Who would win: a pirate, or a ninja? -A pirate. They are WAY cooler than a ninja. 17. If you could personally witness a natural phenomenon, what would it be? - A tsunami, as long as nobody got hurt. 18. What US city do you think best represents your personality? -Cleveland, because Cleveland Rocks. Duh. 19. If you could speak with an accent, which would you pick? -British or Australian. They are so cute! 20. If you found out that one piece of fiction was actually true, which one would you want it to be? - Frosty the Snowman


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Eagan Independent | Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Speech continued from page 3 took place in California, Kansas, and Chicago. Wagner enjoys being part of the speech team because its, “an activity where you can meet a lot of [different] people.” Her own personal achievement was qualifying for nationals in extemporaneous speaking but also having fun at the same time. Magical Moments took place in the Eagan High School auditorium on April 9th. Speech sections will be held on April 16th and those who qualify for state will be competing on April 23rd.

Student government continued from page 1

government will have administration, Sophomores will have cooks and cafeteria workers, juniors are assigned custodians and seniors will be responsible for teachers. “It’s a way for the seniors to say thank you to the teachers,” explained Kristen Busch, the co-president of student government. For each group, they have a different surprise, without giving to much away, the cafeteria workers’ plan includes a large amount of puffy paint. The student government has organized events all year round, from homecoming to the pep fests. They organize all of the dances (apart from prom) and decide on the decorations and DJ. They organized Armful of Love in December, and the food drive. Eagan High school is the single largest donor to the Eagan food shelf. They also organize spirit week and pep fests. If you are interested in joining student government, they will more then welcome you. Meetings are every Wednesday at 7:05 in lecture room C. If you would like more information, you can contact your class senator or talk to Courtney Kenefick (co-president) or Kristen Busch (co-president).

Laughter continued from page 4 Laughter is socially accepted as a way to avoid discomfort and move off a topic, and most often that is the case. Through observation, it has been noticed that laughter doesn’t necessarily relate to something comical. In a study, everyday comments such as “where have you been?” are more likely to be followed by laughter than something considered humorous. Only ten to twenty percent of episodes observed were preceded by something even slightly joke-like. It seemed that the stimulus for laughter is another person, rather than an actual joke. The differences in laughter can also be seen depending on gender. In cross-gender conversations, females tend to laugh 126% more than males. While on the other hand, males are more likely to be on the receiving end of the laughter. Across cultures, men tend to be the main instigators of laughter, possibly explaining why there are more male comedians than females. Though we have all heard that laughter is the best medicine, there seems to be no evidence of this. Although it is an energetic activity that raises our heart rate and blood pressure, the medical benefits are quite uncertain. Studies have shown that laughter reduces catecholamines (a hormone that is associated with stress) and other similar hormone levels, yet the medicinal benefits are inconclusive. The most promising function for laughter however is pain reduction. People who laugh tend to undergo less discomfort and pain than those who do not. Though there is no definitive evidence, it doesn’t hurt to laugh.

What is...Tumblr? Hi5? Bebo? Google Wave?

By Sarah Swenson Features Writer

It seems like practically everyone who attends Eagan High School participates in some form of social networking website. For most of us, this is Facebook. There are 1,577 people in the Eagan High School network on Facebook- over half of the student body. But recently, more and more people have started to join other, similar websites, including Tumblr, Twitter, and more. We decided to look at some of these websites and explain them, in case they are unfamiliar. First, the basics: the most commonly used sites. Facebook is the biggest social networking site in the country, in which people become ‘friends’ in order to find out about one another via news feeds and profiles. Using applications, people can play games, take quizzes, and more. The next most common website is MySpace, a site with similar capabilities. Users can personalize their profiles with different colors and pictures, and the site features profiles from musicians and celebrities. Another website heavily used by celebrities is Twitter, a website that asks “What are you doing?” In order to post, answers to this question must be 140 characters or less. Users “follow” each other and view one another’s “tweets.”

Drumline Dominates at State

By Kaila Vogt News Editor

chooses a new theme and then creates a show around that them. This year’s theme was “DJ” or disc jockey. Senior Laura Flicek comments

“Our favorite part of the drumline season was doing the shows,” state Kenzie Eagan High Schools Lysend and Kerri Byers, both Drumline group went to seniors in Drumline. state the “Performweekend ing the show of March in front of 28th. a bunch of This line people is so of 44 fun, and evstudents eryone is high travon adrenaline. eled to The bus rides Rodger, home are great Photos Courtesy of EHS Bandbecause we Minnesota and The Drumline performs at Regionals, held at EHS. have really parbonded as a ticipated in the Scholastic on this years theme saying family. We like to sing songs Open Class. Out of five that she, “really liked the together and sometimes we lines competing in this class DJ theme” and that “it was dance. It is really sad seeEagan’s line took first place. definitely the best drumline ing the season come to an In addition they also won show” that she has ever seen. end, but we will all keep this the peoples choice award, an Throughout the season amazing experience in our award that the audience voted the group is larger than previ- hearts forever,” they continon. ous drumlines, but they have ued. Each year the Drumline still become close together.

become available in the near future, and could develop into a more frequent form of communication. Hi5 is a social website designed specifically for youth. It claims to be a more all-encompassing website, and allows users to personalize their profile beyond simply colors and patterns. Each person creates an avatar that interacts with other people, and there are more options for games, music, and more. Bebo is another popular social networking site. It allows users to create a timeline of their life events to show to one Courtesy of twillooo.com another, in addiallows for users to load tion to their posts automatically to many of the same functions as Facebook, Twitter, and other the other websites. It brings websites. in updates from many other Another website websites, including Facebook, that is gaining popularity YouTube, and Twitter, and and attention is the exclusive also allows users to view proGoogle Wave, a new social files with music, videos, and networking tool. Currently books. it is in its preview stage of These are by no development, which remeans the only social netquires an invitation to join. working sites; hundreds It is one of the most hyped more, including LinkedIn, social networking sites, being Classmates.com, Jaiku, Ning, advertised as a replacement Gaia, Friendster, Meetup, and for email. It is designed as a Tagged exist. All of them have collaborative tool, in which the same general idea allowcommunicating with othing people to connect with ers is easy and done in real their friends and share their time. While it is difficult to lives with each other. join Google Wave now, it will First on our list of newer sites is Tumblr, a ‘microblogging’ site which allows users to publish short posts of different media forms. These media forms, which include Text, Photo, Quote, Link, Chat, and Video, are accessible from the Dashboard on the main screen. As with some other websites, users choose whose pages to “follow.” Each user is able to customize their screen with different themes, from the “theme garden.” It


Eagan Independent | Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Sports

Moulton Wins Athena Award

By Cameron VanDyke Sports Writer

Athena is the goddess of wisdom and skills. She is brave, and possesses the essence of all that is noble, as well as the gifts of dignity, power, and youth, making her invincible. For the past thirty years, school coaches have selected an outstanding senior female athlete from their school for the Athena Award. This year, the title of Athena at Eagan was given to Sara Moulton, who has excelled as the starting pitcher on the Varsity softball team for the past four years. Moulton has been extremely successful throughout her high school career as a softball star. In 2007, Moulton’s freshman year, she was named MVP of the Eagan team, Rookie of the

Year, and was all-conference and all-state. In 2008, she was named Defensive Player of the Year for Eagan, was allconference and all-state, and

Photo by Michelle Metcalfe Senior Sara Moulton

she helped lead the team to the title of State Champions at the State Tournament. Last year, Moulton was named MVP for the second time,

was on the team that won 5th place at State, was once again all-conference and all-state, was named the Star Tribune Metro Player of the Year, the Pioneer Press Minnesota Player of the Year, and the Minnesota Gatorade Player of the Year. Not to mention, she recently got to take part in a photo shoot for the ESPN Rise Magazine along with some of her teammates. Moulton has had quite a few high points in her softball career. However, Moulton is very gracious and humble about receiving the award. She said, “I’m really honored to get the award. I know that there are a lot of really good student athletes here, and I’m really proud and happy to represent our school.” She considers her greatest accomplishment with her

team to be winning the State Championship her sophomore year, and her best individual accomplishment is the Athena Award. Moulton will be attending an awards banquet on April 21st, along with about 50-75 other senior girls from schools in the Metropolitan Area. This outstanding young athlete says that she will definitely miss her Eagan softball experience the most when she graduates, although she will continue to play at the University of Minnesota on a full Division-I Photo courtesy of Sara Moulton scholarship. She advises Moulton pitching during the ‘09 season future Eagan athletes to where the Wildcats finished 11-2. get involved in school teammates really well, and to sports, get to know your always push to be your best.

Spring Captains Ready to Lead Baseball starts I began running track when rituals? Matt Novitzki Training in Florida BySports I was 9. My pre-meet ritual is to go for Writer

By Cameron VanDyke Sports Writer

The Eagan baseball team is getting a running start to their season, hoping to get as much field time as possible. Over Spring Break, the members of last year’s team took a trip down to Venice, Florida to get some practice in before tryout week. Coach Walsh explained that the main point of going down to Florida each year is to practice before tryouts and get outside in some nice weather. He said, “It gives guys on Spring Break a chance to have a break but still stay in shape and practice.” Throughout the week, the team runs practices in the morning with hitting and defensive drills, and they spend the afternoon scrimmaging each other. The trip also gives the boys the opportunity to spend time together as a team, and really focus on

Photos by Rachel Larson The Boys’ Baseball Team continues practice back in Eagan

bonding. Coach Walsh states that the coaches try to keep a balance of how much of the trip is practice and how much is recreational. He said that the players and coaches had a lot of fun this year, but worked hard and got a lot of practice in at the same time. Senior Tyler Mangan believes it is very beneficial for the team to make their way down south over Spring Break, because that way the team can get a full week of training in to put them a “step ahead of other teams who can’t train outside so early in the season.” Junior Ben Fischer also believes that it is “helpful to see grounders and pop-ups outside because it is much more realistic”, and he likes being able to hit on a field instead of in a gym. He says that this gives him a much better sense of how he is doing before tryout week. Both Mangan and Fischer stated that the baseball part of the trip is great, but their favorite part is hanging out with the team, and bonding through activities such as sand volleyball on the beaches, going out to eat, and just hanging out. The Varsity baseball team is looking forward to a great season, with their main goal being to make it back to State for the second year in a row. The players say they would love the opportunity to play on the Target Field, so they are ready to work hard to make it there. Coach Walsh states, “We have high expectations this year!”

GIRLS’ TRACK Elise Raney

When did you begin doing track? In first grade, through EAA. What was your proudest moment during your track career? When all three jumpers placed in the top four for the Lake Conference Championships last year, bumping the whole team’s place up three spots. Do you have any special or hidden talents? My uncanny ability to relate every situation to “The Office.” Do you have any pregame rituals? Visualization to “Reach Higher” by Gloria Estefan, and running around like crazy as I try to get all of my stuff together. What is your biggest pet peeve(s)? Squeaky markers and people who cut in line. What is the hardest part about track? Avoiding a farmer’s tan, and having to put up with Courtney Johnson.

Shannon Koenig

When did you begin doing track? I began track in kindergarten through EAA. What was your proudest moment during your track career? My proudest moment is getting a personal best in both shot and disc last season. Do you have any special or hidden talents? I don’t think I have any hidden talents. Do you have any pregame

a short jog, and then I have a warm-up routine for both shot and disc. What is your biggest pet peeve(s)? My biggest pet peeve is when people talk while I’m throwing during a meet. What is the hardest part about track? The hardest part of track is that you’ll sometimes have a bad meet, but there is always the next one to improve.

Natalie Schlagel

When did you begin doing track? I started in kindergarten with EAA track, but I didn’t start running distance races until 4th grade. What’s your most embarrassing (or proud) moment through your track career? When I am running, I’m so focused on finishing the race that I don’t really see where I am going. [Because of this] A lot of the time I run into trees, rocks, holes, or fire hydrants. I will never live down the time when I ran into a pole during one of my runs. Do you have any pregame rituals? I have to listen to Eminem’s “Lose Yourself” before every race. What’s your biggest pet peeve(s)? I really like timeliness, so when people are late or unorganized they are a bit frustrating to me. What’s the hardest part about track? For distance runners, we fight mentally with ourselves to finish, to stay strong, and be positive.

Darcy Ackerman

When did you begin track?

What’s your most embarrassing(or proud) moment through your track career? My most embarrassing moment would have to be my freshman year, when I walked across the long jump runway before a girl was about to jump. To make it worse, she had just done it to me and I asked her if she could make sure she looked before she walked across next time. Do you have any special or hidden talents? I’m good at pumping people up and encouraging them to finish hard workouts. Do you have any pre-game rituals? When I’m standing on the runway before a jump, I have a special “routine” that I do. Other than that, we have silent bus rides to meets and visualization as a team. What’s your biggest pet peeve(s)? In track, when people walk across the long jump runway right before I start running. Outside of track, it’s when people stop and talk in the middle of the hallway. What’s the hardest part about skiing? The hardest part about track for me is to stay uninjured! I am always injured and it would be nice to not be for a while. Also, to always do your best. There are those practices when you want to give up, but you know you can’t!

Continued on page 8


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Eagan Independent | Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Captains continuted from pg. 7

BOYS’ GOLF Dylan Fodor

When did you begin playing golf? I started golfing when I was 6. What was your proudest moment during your golf career? My proudest moment was making a 20-foot birdie putt on the last hole to qualify for my first varsity tournament. Do you have any pregame rituals? Before I play, I warm up by hitting my clubs from shortest to longest and ending with the club I have to hit on the first tee. What are your biggest pet peeve(s)? My biggest pet peeve is playing with Keith from Lakeville North. What’s the hardest part about golf? It’s hard to hold it together for 18 holes, especially after a bad hole.

Ryan Lutz

When did you begin playing golf? I first started playing golf when I was four with my dad. I used plastic clubs. What was your most embarrassing moment during your golf career? I hit a low line drive shot with my 9 Iron and I slammed my club in disgust, but when I went up to the green my ball was in the hole. I was so embarrassed that I just put my hat over my head. Do you have any special or hidden talents? I can hit the [golf] ball straight up so it will land behind me. What’s your biggest pet peeve(s)? Golfers that have to ask a lot of questions during the round and golfers that yell at themselves after every shot. My biggest pet peeve is when golfers complain about how unlucky they are. What’s the hardest part about golf? Mental Toughness, [because] any one can play good when they are hitting the ball well, but the great players find

away to play well when they are having a bad day.

Icettes Magical Moments

BOYS’ BASEBALL JD Dorgan

When did you begin playing baseball? I started playing baseball when I was around 5 years old What was your most embarrassing, or proudest moment during your baseball career? The most embarrassing moment was last year when I threw the ball down to third base because I thought the batter had three strikes, but he only had two. The proudest moment was when our team went to state last year. Do you any special or hidden talents? I know all the state capitals. Do you have any pregame rituals? I always threw with Zach Zenner. Before we can start throwing long toss one of us has to throw a good knuckleball, and it’s usually him. What’s your biggest pet peeve(s)? My biggest pet peeve is when batters try to look at my signs to the pitcher.

The Icettes performed their season ending show “Magical Moments” over the weekend of March 18-20. The show featured solos by the teams six seniors, a variety of group numbers, and also performances by younger members of the Apple Valley Skating community. The show had a Disney theme, with all of the songs coming from a variety of Disney movies. The six senior soloists were each a different Disney princess for their solo performance.

Photos by Rachel Berryman

Shannon Kinley, the only Eagan senior, played the role of Ariel the little mermaid for her solo performance. Senior Ross Bjorklund thought that the show looked interesting. Senior Vidur Sharma agreed, adding that it was well executed and there was a good variety of numbers.

Photo courtesy of Shannnon Kinley

New Coach for Boys’ Tennis

Zach Zenner

When did you begin playing baseball? 1st grade Do you have any special or hidden talents? Good singing voice, but only in the outfield. Do you have any pregame rituals? Throwing a knuckleball in warm-ups. What’s your biggest pet peeve(s)? Striking out.

Mr. Nicols is the new boys’ tennis head coach. The boys have started practices, and are looking forward to another winning season. In the above picture Justin Moeller and Brian Fisk practice with the team, and Mr. Nicols coaches from the side. Photos by Michelle Metcalfe

Unbelievably True Headlines By Seth Lynch News Writer When All Else Fails, Send In The Bears The website, www. defense.gov, released a number of comments they have received over the years. One that has received a huge amount of attention has been about sending bears into Afghanistan and Pakistan. The

idea was as follows: Bears have scent detection that is far superior to bloodhounds! Trained bears with GPS and day/night cameras around their necks might be able to hunt down the scent of [Osama bin Laden], even in and through any caves and tunnels!!! Overnight, parachute some bears into areas [bin Laden] might be. Attempt to train bears to

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take off parachutes after landing, or use parachutes that self-destruct after landing. As far fetched as this may sound, bears killing militants is not unheard of. There have been many accounts of militants being killed by bears. Last November, two members of Hizbul were killed in Kashmir while cooking pudding with their AK47s still in their hands. And while bloodhounds can smell 300 times better then a human, a bear’s nose is close to 7 times more acute then a bloodhounds. So ask yourself, can we afford not to send bears into Afghanistan? Because if we don’t attempt to push 500 pound grizzly bear out of a cargo plane with a self distructing parachute, doesn’t that mean the terrorists win? We pay for the military, the least we can ask for is a parachuting bear. ~Stars and strips newspaper


Eagan Independent - April