NOW Issue 2 Demo by Samarth Chandola

n.o.w. not hing official wit hin

Volume 1 Issue 2 Sept. - Oct ‘09 Rs.20/-

YouthFiction contest 5 Write and Win Rs. 60,000!

Career Focus: Being an Illustrator

How to Win Arguments 13

Top Ways To Annoy Your Professor 22

Team n.o.w. t’s lk – i a en t e sid hap p s g n i e th wher aS ai g a l

AwSM is as AwSM does

Sugar and spice and nothing nice.

tossed in the can Aaja lad le!!!

sh Ani

Someone blow the horn for me… I’m too horny

y Sta sh ! khu

Alright… who hasn’t submitted on time?

N.O.W. is NEXT Only after disaster can we be resurrected Thinking ...?”%#

Nobly Savage

ul be Kh

An any a Borg oh

ain

Wee-urrr-duh hhhhh

l Koma

I love all like-minded people, which means, I hate everyone!

Other people who conspire to destroy you: Haris Mikael Khizr Atiq Arindam Dey Soumya Chatterjee Kriti Sharma Roshini Gosain

BLAH BLAH If you're expecting me to say something intelligent, profound or deep, you're quite mistaken, to put it very politely. And if you're expecting that as the editor of a youth-magazine I ought to have social and moral responsibility to spread a positive message in our youth, then allow me to shed all politeness aside and tell you quite frankly that you've lost it. Instead, what this particular editor will do is question the legitimacy and rightto-existence of this little note he is writing. What's the whole point of having these “hello-welcome-to-ourmagazine” paragraphs in every issue? Does anybody even read it? (Don't deny it… even you just happened to glance this way.) You buy a magazine because you want to read the articles it carries. Did you ever hear of anyone buying a magazine because they desperately wanted to read the Editor's Note? The only reason I'm still writing this thus (and if you're still reading it, you must be NUTS!), is a strong intuition that argues that having a big gaping empty space on the first page of the magazine might be all that is required for our sponsors to wise up to our true creativity level and terminate our contract. Since money talks, so do I. And if I have to talk, it might as well be to say thanks a lot for making our inaugural issue such a grand success… and here's hoping we get an even better response in this issue... and thanks to everyone who worked in the magazine… and I can't believe you're still reading this. What the hell are you doing reading a dreary black-and-white note in a magazine full of flashy articles and funky layouts anyway? Go scoot! We've got a lot more to offer than just the Ed Note! Hope you enjoy it! (And for a change, that was actually meant sincerely!)

Emails to the Editor

Contents Kampus Konnection

A-part from the Crowd

The World that is Gothdom

Contest

Iconic Trends

Something New

Wet Touches of an old August

Careers

Words of Wisdom

Win Arguments, Each Time

City Beat

Scene 'Em

Beat of a Different Drum

A Day in the Life of a Fachha

Blog Review

Humor

Most Splendored Thing

Metro Survival 101

You've Got a Friend

The Big Byte

Sports

(Since Letters are so passé)

There wasn't a single page which I turned, till I could turn no more, that didn't prompt me to laugh out loud. (Ok, I admit, I skipped the Sachin story! :P) Anyhow, kudos to the team for a fantastic first edition. I'm looking out for more of these in the future for sure! :) Thanks, guys! – Nidhi Kalra Wow! You guys did a fantastic job in an interesting manner, far better from those boring conventional magazines. I liked it! – Amil The magazine looked attractive and when I actually read it, I found most of it good. It has something for everyone and yes... some of the jokes you people write are actually funny! – Akanksha Ratanpal

Iconic Trends Men: What To Do If You Have A Lot Of It Kriti Sharma Yes, by now (if you were smart enough to read Issue 1) you know we're talking about body mass. The best way to look great when you're overweight is to lose that excess weight. But who says you can't look good WITH all the excess weight? If N.O.W. says you can, you definitely can! (“(In the next issue, we'll tell you that you can skydive without a parachute. Do try it out.) All you need to do is –

Ensure your clothes aren't too tight You don't really need us to tell you that garments that are too tight will reveal and highlight the belly-line you'd rather hide. However, too loose clothing will give you the unmistakable appearance of a marquee. Take care when shopping to choose pieces that fit well, skim over your body, and give you a rather smooth appearance.

Not wear tops with sloped shoulders

Not wear bold patterns For one, these will make you stand out (as if your obvious size wasn't doing that already!) and secondly, they tend to draw attention to the upper half of your body. One pattern you should wear, however, is vertical lines. They create optical continuity and will help elongate the look of your body. Choose dark, solid colors as they are an instant figure fixer and will make you seem 10 kilos thinner. (Did we hear you say “Bingo!” *wink*)

Wear pants with longer hem Wear low-rise bottoms Instead of wearing trousers and jeans that hit at your waist, invest in low-rise bottoms that sit on your hips. No, not the kind the rappers (and rapers :P) wear... the 'normal' ones. Also, ensure that the waistband of your pants is large enough to accommodate your midsection so that your belly does not stick out over your pants.yea, that's a real pleasure to see!

Wear V-neck shirts This one's a definite winner! V-necks are a great way to create the illusion of a slimmer neckline, particularly if you have a double chin, as they place emphasis on your chest area instead of on your neck (aren't you hoping women wore them!. As for dress shirts, look for ones with very pointed collars to focus others' attention on your face. AVOID TURTLENECKS!

Don't go for short or perfect length pants. Instead, wear 'em long to seem taller and thinner. They should almost hit the ground to really lengthen your body. Do make sure they're not too long so as to make you fall down. Ouch!

Wear three-button blazers They're just as classic as two-button blazers, but will elongate your body and make you appear taller and, therefore, thinner. Casually, leave the top button on your blazer undone (stop drooling. We said blazer, not pants.) and voila! You're the next hot property in town.

“Welcome to College!” *Bass solo* (Since drum roll alone doesn't appeal anymore, we've added bass effects just to please you dear reader) College is not all the flowery-pink-candy-floss cinematic footage portrayed by Heath Ledger (and back home, Shahrukh Khan), yet it's a life changing *coughs* experience. All of a sudden you shed your uniforms and make way for more complicated stuff like “What do I wear today? I have nothing in my closet.” You really have to be inspired by P.T. Usha in order to report on time for classes, and our 'helpful' seniors give us the right sense of direction whenever we're lost (all puns intended). So enough briefing without jockeying (blame my bad sense of humor on the horrendous internal assessment system which makes us all very sick in the stomach and elsewhere), presenting…

A day in the life of a 'Fachha'

Anisha Saigal

Orientation - Brings in some 'worldly advice' from every nook and corner of the world. I mean, hello? How many orientations do you think you attend?! Let's see – Day 1 – Formal Orientation Day 2 – Department Orientation Day 3 – Dancesoc Orientation Day 164 – Library Orientation… and so on and so forth Attendance - You think you're smart? You've landed up in college by academics, very brave. Now bear in mind – once you land up in a class and you're daydreaming, chances are that the American troops will withdraw from Iraq but your teacher won't mark you present if you've really slept through. She'll make you sleep-walk by either chucking you out or by (the ultra-dreaded) marking you absent while you while you bear the gruesome pain for the next 55 minutes. Canteen/Café - Even words like 'multi-cuisine' fail to make mouths water after a certain limit. No matter how hard we try to ignore it, we all saw the fly sambar-bathing in vada-sambar. Perception is the highest order of truth, so the conclusion? The fly was vegan, since it chose sambar over butter chicken gravy to laze around for a long Wednesday lunch.

Ok, you'll say bad Anisha… keeps criticizing college. Not that I care, but since this could very well be the deciding factor in the Editor-in-Chief hiring me, I'll slightly have to care (*Editor: You don't need to. We're so shameless we'll blatantly poke

fun at our financers if we feel it'll generate a few laughs*). College's not all that bad. We do get to learn a lot more than names of cave men around 5 BC. The Carriage of Peace and Love – Just living through college gives lessons on the art of how to be book-smart and street-smart at the same time. A simple example – stand outside college, look for an auto.

Sharing is Caring – Right from answers in tests and that pack of chips (and even chappals on bad shoe days), everything on Earth can be shared. Try it for yourself. It works. Sway with me – The art of staying till 6 PM and yet still stay as fresh as dew. After all, the loos have strategically placed mirrors and there's no restrictions as to how large your vanity bag can be! Voice modulation – From squeakiest voice to the deep baritone, it helps in developing vocal chords. If you're wondering why, go back to 'attendance' and attend at least on class in life to know the exact interpretation of the word 'proxy.’ Friends – They might get on your nerves every morning, asking “which class, what room?” but deep within you know they're the lifeblood of that ever-so-boring qualifying class and they keep you entertained when you're ready to pass out of boredom in never-ending political theory class. The best part is that they generally don't expect in return, and can be pleased by an occasional Rs. 15 veg platter during lunch. Freedom – The Indian freedom struggle and college does have a LOT in common. If we were to write about that, you would receive a blood stained copy of the magazine with knives sticking out, so to avoid all that red and sweat, we've got a summary of all what we are allowed in college – cell phones, iPods, freedom of missing classes (no, it's not attending), no uniform, color of your pen, the shade of nail polish… we'll need about 3 A4 sheets to elaborate on this one. No matter how much one detests college and procrastinates about it, the truth is that we love college or will soon end up falling in love with it whole heartedly. It gives us new places to bunk, new people to give our fine excuses for not turning up for a class (since they've never heard our exclusive reasons before), new food in the café, and some more reasons to click pictures and put them all over networking sites and waste time writing comments. The first few months of the first year can be harsh – especially for outstation kids – but once the dust seems to settle, it brings everyone back in their loafers and osho's. Being in college not only makes you responsible but also teaches you how to tackle people diplomatically. And if nothing else, three years down the line we'd have a degree in our hand and the tag "Graduate" on our neck. Till then, let me go and look for my classroom. Wait, was it 18 or 26?

Be a Part of N.O.W. now!

All of you may not realize this, but the articles and illustrations in N.O.W. don't just write and draw by themselves, nor are they written by a team of professional journalists working on supercomputers in big office complexes. And as likely as it might seem, they aren't done by a group of 11 year-old retards either. All content, illustration and design in N.O.W. is the disastrous work of college goers like you – fans and readers who have great ideas, the ability to deliver on it, and the patience to listen to the garbage of our editor, Sam. So, are you quirky? Want to get famous and have your stuff read by thousands of people? We don't care if you do/do-not have tons of experience. If you're a writer/illustrator/designer/graphic-artist or possess strong management and administrative skills, we want you on board! Mercifully, N.O.W. does not go for stupid trials or idiotic interviews. We don't have crap cut-offs either. All you have to do is mail your Resume at nowmagazineindia@gmail.com and we'll get back to you. Promise!

Humor Top

10 Ways to Annoy Your Professor

Kriti Sharma

Because it's fun to get expelled! 1. Switch seats every three minutes. 2. If asked a question, say “The brain you're trying to reach is either switched off or out of coverage area. Please try later.” 3. Change your ringtone to Washing Powder Nirma and message your friends to call you in the middle of a very important discussion. 4. Eat big bitefuls in the middle of the class. When asked a question, take five minutes to slowly chew the food while the professor looks on, then swallow, look intelligent and say, "I don't know." 5. Every time they start talking, yawn really loudly. 6. Walk into the middle of a lecture like a super spy. Keep your back to the walls, make a gun with your fingers (carry a fake if possible), look around with shifty eyes, and hum the mission impossible theme. 7. Sit on the front desk and start scribbling furiously. When asked what you're doing, reply - “I am drawing. Shouldn't you be teaching instead of looking at what I'm doing?” 8. Every time the teacher says “Now, what we're trying to do is...”, say - “Why do you have to always do something? Can't you just sit idle once?” 9. Write them a note saying- “U hleepd my speling n gramear so goode” (Works best with English teachers!). 10. Sometime in December, when the teachers are all shook up trying to finish off the course, stand up in the middle of a very important lecture and say "Excuse me, but I don't get ANY of this. Could you please start over from... say, sometime in August?"

Co n th stan Ro e P t t om ri ri gu nci ps ar pa to an l ' te s ed !

Which University Stereotype Are You? Rhea Srivastava What is the purpose of your life?

a. To have suttas all day long. b. To acquire Knowledge c. To ruin every kid's life around you. d. To acquire a fan following by contesting for the elections. Your favorite color is...

a. The color of weed... or grey, like smoke. b. When does this get over? I need to study. c. Red... like marks on an assignment! d. The colors of my political party logo. What is the first thing you think after getting up in the morning?

a. Where in God's name did I put my joint? b. Waking up happens when I sleep. Which obviously doesn't because I was studying all night. c. Who do I torture today? d. When I'll be President, I'll make noon the official time for waking up. Your favorite food?

a. Who needs food when you can get a cig? b. Coffee... keeps me up all night. c. Free samosas and bread pakodas... and really sweet canteen tea. d. Eating is a small part of life. There are more important issues Perfect Day?

a. No classes. All day at Sutta-Point. b. 7 back-to-back lectures followed by practicals. c. Assignment submission! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! d. Student strike for a cause.

Mostly A’s

Mostly B’s

Result Mostly C’s

You're a teacher!!! You're the guy who has no You're the guy who's always What're you doing life, since you're already high. You rarely attend classes taking this quiz devoted the one you had to and people generally find you anyway!! acquiring knowledge or having a smoke at all times of whatever shit they feed you the day. Your life is a circle of coming to the University, having everyday. You attend all classes and bug your teachers a joint, and going home. You're to give more work. You're an lucky your parents don't know outcast and everybody hates YET. If you'll give us their you. You've also probably number, we'll be devilishly glad already lost your virginity to a to get you in trouble by giving science textbook. them a ring.

Mostly D’s You're the activist-sorta dude. You spent most of your years in the University contesting for elections by interrupting classes and begging people to vote for you in Ballot Number 3, 4, 5 or whatever. You couldn't take the shock when you lost and ran away to Mumbai to join the Underworld.

Syndromes

Falak Fatima and Komal Khulbe

The fall of man! Ouch! (Falling always hurts... ever wondered why you always fall in love?) It brought tragic flaws in our characters, which underwent mutations to become complex relationship syndromes. Don't fear them though, for a magic touch of true love and some absolutely crazy N.O.W. advice can cure them in no time. Read and try on! What have you got to lose but your life and sanity?

Hai Hai Judai Syndrome (I don't even want you near me… you stink.) If your sound sleep is suddenly interrupted at three in the morning by the sound of your cacophonous cellphone ringing and you fumble to pick the call only to hear your girlfriend say "Baby I miss you so much", chances are she's suffering from this syndrome. You might find it annoying, but that's her way of saying that she loves you and needs you with her.

The Cure - Be there for her, assure her... and be happy that at least someone misses you, useless and intolerable though you are. Baby You Don't Give Me Time Syndrome (Are you worth it?) This one is serious... and our staff of awesome weirdos have awesome data on this. A staggering 87.54% women suffer from this, usually annoying their 'babies' in the process. The more advanced stages of this syndrome involves a monotonous reiteration of the syndrome name even if you call her n times a day. This syndrome develops either out of your lady's hyperactive imagination or because of her velli life.

The Cure - For that smile upon her face, can you not talk to her a little more? Or if that's not possible, just text her how much she means to you! That's simple, isn't it!

Blue, Navy Blue and Dark Blue Syndrome (I hate blue. I love red. I'm switching boyfriends.) Let's face it, Men are Blue. No, I don't mean the color blue , I mean the hue blue! They're forever sad and feeling blue over something or the other. The blue guy is worried that he has no job or girlfriend, the navy blue is worried about managing his nagging girlfriend alongside his job, while the Ishq-ka-Mara dark blue is the guy who had a girlfriend, but got dumped because of his blueness.

The Cure - Teach them how to laugh and smile! And while there are many ways to go about it, you just might want to consider gifting them a copy of N.O.W. for some guaranteed results! *Editor: Promoting Magazine Sales... Very Good, Very Good! A pat on your back!* Mr. Man Syndrome (I still have my doubts about you.) Signs of symptoms include your boyfriend telling you what to do, where to go, and whom and how to talk to. Syndrome sufferers usually end up making their better half's life pretty worse, and always want a damsel-indistress whom they can oh-so-heroically save. Over the centuries, they have evolved (and degraded) from the medieval knight in shining armor to the roadside romeo on a bike who will stare at you and send you frandships requests on Facebook.

Don't Take Me For Granted Syndrome (I won't even take you for a million dollars!) One Word... HOTSTUFF! We don't need any kind of statistical information on this to tell you about its intensity. Every woman suffers from this at some point of time or the other. The virus kicks in when she feels that you spend more time with your guy pals than her, when she feels that you spend more time with your gal pals than her, and when she feels that you spend more time doing stuff that does not involve her. Anything you do will lead her to think that, so there's no point trying to run… you're like the fly trapped in the spider's web… with the eightlegged creature slowly moving in to make you the cherry on top of his cake. (*Editor: Icky, Yucky, Yummy!*)

The Cure - Only one, actually... make her a part of everything you do and pray she gets bored enough to let you be with your friends and activities without thinking herself as an inanimate part of the background of your life. And if you actually succeed, do ponder over how dreary a life you lead. oh My God! Syndrome (I worship Satan) You've seen this one around. It's pretty apparent in women who are hyperactive and who have done PhDs in Drama Queenism. They like to jump and tell the world that the almighty works for them ("MY God"), which can get pretty annoying after the drama act has been put up for the 16th time

The Cure - Get her a shot of reality check, or get PhDs in Ignoring. If it doesn't work, BOO!! We didn't ask you to ask her out, did we?

Stop falling in love... start rising! It's the most beautiful thing that has happened to you. Live it!

e-mail | nowmagazineindia@gmail.com blog | nowmagazineindia.blogspot.com