Endurance Test - Nick Fisk

Endurance Test (poems from behind the Psychiatric Wall)

Nick Fisk

Also by Nick Fisk

Futurist

Pure Diamonds

Rushinʻ on Diamonds

Diamonds & Dragons

Daimunz R 4E4

5x4x5x4+1

Departure Lounge 25

Departure Lounge 58

20

Futuristii FunnyBusiness MovingOn Closure

Also: The BluesAreBackinTown (Parthian) Gospel and Gossip(freeonline at Smashwords)

ComingSoon (hopefully): MickFindsTheOff &On Logo

For moreinformationonearlier workssee:

www.purepoetry.co.uk

Also,author’s blog, where you can also find certainabove books onsale

https://www.fiskbook.com

Verykindlyprinted byRavenstat

103 Bute Street Cardiff Bay, Cardiff CF10 5AD

This book is dedicated to Carys, along with Julia and Stacey (aka the lighter thief himself)

Also:

The Duchess of Conway

The Duke of The Vale of Glamorgan

The Duchess of Holyhead

The Don of South Glamorgan

Molly of Monmouthshire

Amy of Ayrshire

The Beach wardens of the Sunny Beeches

Stevie of Steveshire

Various other minions (worthy of millions), mostly in green

Abby

“Pam”

Other people, some wholly virtuous, I may have left out

Morning Music

The music you put on in the morning Can change your whole day.

We Shall Not Be Moved by The Housemartins Or When I First Met Jesus

Can often work But try Up and Down By The High

See where that leads Inevitably thoughts Of The Inspiral Carpets

And then you'll be playing Step On in disbelief that A young nursing assistant has not heard it.

You're having to rationilise This at the same time as Rationalised cigarettes YouTube suggests Happy Mondays at the Castle (A false link)

But then you find Audience footage of Primal Scream

And you let out a short Sigh of frustration.

When God Turned Back the Clocks

So God decided to just turn back time. He didn’t particularly like the internet; Mobile phones; Covid.

June 5, 2022 never happened. He made it New Year’s Eve 1990. There was a big party With the big names at the timeThe Stone Roses; Public Enemy.

Those in the know

Knew what was comingBut it would be up to them now, Knowing what was coming, Whether to have Covid or not.

Probably best not. It had messed with a lot of headsKids more than anythingRight or wrong had got Very mixed up; Everything too political, Instead of plain simple.

The Soul Crew book Still hadn’t been written, But it would beIt was an eye openerA tiny show of how There’s always something else going on; Better or worse; Less slamming doors would be better; More peace and unityBack to the spirit of the age.

1984 had happened, But no-one wanted a 1984 world.

In reality, God couldn’t just do itCouldn’t just make mobile phones magically disappear. So instead he gave us all a chance to learn.

Footnote: of course Russians, at time of writing, will already be fully well aware of what it means to effectively be without a working mobile phone, although I have heard since that the Russians were so well equipped for war that they had even made their own mobile phone apps to cover most things.

Born A Smoker

i’m the number one cigarette provider i’m the one they beg offThey all wanna steal my lighter

i wasn’t born to smoke But from age seventeen i was on Embassy No.1

Me and mates on my balcony Or lunchtimes with Haitch next to me

We’d get back to school late Carefree, stinking of sex

She’d wear stay up stockings

The smell of tobacco Might have just about been a disguise.

In my guise now as Nickoteen Or Old Saint Nick, now i nick myself And supply wanting kids.

i remain wanting after suspecting First son provided by Kitty Kat Kath; Born, or so i was certain, from a bath.

Trust

Without trust, you’ve basically got Nothing if you get my gist.

Just as the mists of time clear... Would you have my phone charger, dear?

I’m sorry my love You must have left it in The glove compartment before we left.

Just as a gust of wind picked upIs that a bomb dropped Or a change of season?

Meanwhile, out in Bali At the Royal Executive Hotel, A new staff is employed With impeccable credentials

And before you know it, They’ve made off with The money from the till.

Women’s football, However much it may have come on

From poor beginnings

I think we have to trust That the professionals we see Know the offside rule, minimum.

When Spoons are like Gold-dust

Sometimes spoons, like raves or big events, are hard to find.

I lost faith in my brother the day he lost faith in me. They say you can't choose your family, And that is true; even they might sell you for a fistful of gold.

Instead of letting me drive him to London, He called the professional health care workers And the cops, while just up the M4, The Roses, some professional musicians, absolutely smashed it. Probably played all seventy of their unreleased stuffs. If he'd just believed what I was telling him.

My good friend Rick most probably went. His brother could not believe it was suicide, And perhaps this was right in Rick's case. Rick, happy to follow wherever the road may lead

Most probably on the frontline bashing down the fences Most probably led to Rick, the warrior's, untimely passing.

Who knows if Christina made it. I'll be honest, I was just disappointed Not to see my new love interest.

And I suppose I shouldn't blame Ade too much. I've fallen in love more times in a month Than in probably a lifetime.

I'm no loveless unbeliever. I believe in a thing called love. If it happens, it happens.

All I do know is that, so far as we can tell, All the politicians are still Alive. So the main event, Some kind of repeat performance, Is yet to come.

Clever Cats

We don’t exactly know why Egyptians worshipped cats. Modern day humans Adore cars far more;

Or at least, We might imagine Cars come in far more Handy than cats.

But can cars give Cuddles at night, Play fight, leap on your shoulders? Ok not all cats can do the last of these But my cat can, whereas Cars definirtely can’t.

And cars can’t fix Broken water fountains either.

Finding Positives

The Old Bailey was a good pub to check in to Full of rogues and right opposite Cardiff nick.

I wasn’t much good, but I offered to join the pool team. I knew I had no chance of getting picked.

I always heard that the young lady associates Of those the other side of the wall

Would flash their bits or give signals From a grass verge nearby.

I was never fortunate enough to bear witness To such a romantically inclined spectacle

Perhaps being just a common or garden Fan of a lower league club.

Discretion Assured

However much she knew, she never said Orange Peel, as he was known, knew the crack Old pensioner Neil just wants a quiet life now.

Workhorse Neil has stood by me throughout Forever haranguing me to get work. He does have a point, I’m a lazy bastard.

Nextdoor neighbour Neil, potential best man status Worshipped by his daughters who he worships. He calls out the City score to me every time I pass.

Old man Tom, quiz expert, never harmed me, Middle aged Tom, the most astute of all; Stationary Tom has put up with far more than I could.

Dangerous Debs is a one-off - is there another? Why Risky Rhi when there’s no other Rhians? Definitely only one Naz, definitely only one Brian.

Millions of Daves, but only one Dave Grooveslave; Couple of Scotts, one runs a cafe, One a slave to gambling, an inveterate.

Tons of Johns, one far better than I, One, a mouse, another you see every day. Lex, a spirit, Beth an organiser, Beth a card dealer.

Only one Adrian Fisk to my mind, only one Jeremy, Quit a few Steves, one was a red-headed nurse. Two Archies, one regal, one a ledge.

Anything Else?

“Oh, and a pack of B&H Blue, and some small blue Rizla...”

“Oh yes, actually - half a bottle of vodka please...”

“Actually, I’ll treat myself - why not a packet of cigars?”

“Um - and your phone number?”

“Hehe - cheeky.”

“Anything else?”

“Well what time do you finish work? I could meet you in the Rummer for a pint?”

“Or how about I take you to the pictures tomorrow? Can’t make tomorrow? Would Thursday be okay?

Maybe a meal somewhere, somewhere nice for food Or just the Prince of Wales for steak night?”

“Or...well, I do know a good dogging spotOr, I can see you’re married - are you into swinging?”

“Anything else?”

“What if you just say I was shoplifting, You take me to a room out the back and I give you a good hard rogering?”

“Anything Else?”

“No honestly, that’s all thanks all the same. Same time, same till next week?”

When the Pink Paper Comes In

Presented by an important-looking Person, of course in mask, The pink paper, Unlike the pink panther - not a laugh

A serious issue For one person presenting issues

The man who called that he had to Get rid of his issues

Might be here, more likely A more serious case

Forced into this or that place Fish on Thursday - something has changed

Profitless Profilist

Jello Biafra told us to shut up, to be happy, To stay indoors to not get shot. This was the leisure age upon us. Ice T, like The Orb, sampled his forecast. Orwell before them of course Spoke of newspeak and cheap gin Which now, by choice, is more popular than vodka.

Biafra said that after the urine samples, Sports broadcasts would continue as normal. Marx might have expected I'd get detained. This is 2022 with more sport to watch than ever before.

Ian here has not changed his five layers once In all the weeks I've seen him, Toothless, he writes down jokes And tells me he owns twelve student houses. With tracksuit bottoms that say Sport is Life, He mostly stays glued to BBC2, Mostly won't pass the remote And hasn't the remotest interest in sport.

Phases of Denial (Peterloo Two)

School friends don’t hold grudges, Postmen in the rain are perfectly fine

Chances of the Japanese holding A grudge are practically zero

Chances of Mancunians holding A grudge are practically zero.

I asked a stereotypical Covid Nazi When she asked if I still thought She was a Covid Nazi If she was triple-jabbed.

Now she has nothing to say. As Geraint Jones would have it: Stumped.

Garden of Joy

She'd kept me waiting. I'd planned a garden party And hoped she could make it.

We'd met at a friend of a friend's Birthday meal. God we'd hit It off, but she was married

So some discretion was in order. To my disappointment, she Couldn't make it, but

I'd already gone loopy over The prospect by scooting off to London the night before.

Once banged up for being mad Now I was living off what Joy I could. There was a girl

When I was first admitted Who I fell head over heals With (not married).

We were separated, but Only by bricks and mortar. The nurses served as joy

In between, or what they could. Then I'd see her through a window In the garden of the other ward

She'd call to me from The garden of joy And I felt justified in my decision.

Thoughts While Preparing for Discharge

Boxing > Flappy Bird

Paragliding > Crossy Road

Paper Tickets > Digital Tickets

Live > Online Parties > Business Meetings

Being Maried > Being Single

Liz (2) > Liz (1)

Pull the Other One

I glimpsed her through the mirror After years without a sip All these years, a life of fear, A cat fearful of the snip.

I walked her through the woodsA place full of Earthly richesBerries, nuts, my neighbourhoodAway from all the snitches.

It was 1984, or most likely 1990, A time, a place excitingI bought the album titled 90 While she made herself inviting.

I was disinclined to wait, But then thirty years later, She showed up on a plateSo cute - my perfect waiter.

Paddington

Arriving at Paddington

Turned out to be not a problem.

I just had to hope my new fiancé

Didn’t mind me stopping in at The Chelsea. I hope she thought that was cool.

Service Users:

I’d like a light

Staff:

Out like a light