ISSUE 5 –MARCH 2010
149 (Poole)
Squadron Newsletter March 10 Upcoming Events 1. RNLI Visit 12th Jan 2. Winfrith Police 17th Jan 3. Squadron Barn Dance TBA
Rip-off Direct – New Offers
Survival Kits Ok. So these are pretty useful in a true survival situation. Which is grand. But this is for cadets. Which means you can’t move without a risk assessment signed in triplicate and sent off to everyone who’s ever vaguely heard of cadets. So a survival kit looks a little bit over the top to be honest. But it might happen. Also useful when used in conjunction with a khaki shirt when pretending to be Ray Mears. £Cheap!!
Angry Honey Badger of the Month
The Newbie Cube
Useful hints and tips for newer cadets Bring shoes and boots to a high quality shine by using a brillo padATC or some sandpaper to abrade any impurities from your shine.. Foot mirrors in no time. Perfect Inspection every time.
A Few Nato Member States
Written By Cpl R Cure
We indulge into some stereotypes this month, as I can’t think of anything else to write United Kingdom Excellent, obviously.. just woefully underfunded. Still possesses a superiority complex over everyone else, despite the British Empire ending realistically about 60 years ago and officially 13 years ago. But still. Home to all the oldest traditions and nicest uniforms. Mmm.. I like a nice proper uniform tunic.. especially in blue/grey, oddly enough. United States of America Loud, brash, so cocky they almost rival the UK, and couldn’t hit anything accurately if using a 12 inch naval cannon at a range of 3cm. Still, own loads of Gucci kit, and seem to be portrayed in all the films. Seem to like saying ‘HooRah!’ a lot. Whatever makes them happy. Germany Had a bit of a bad old time in recent history, what with two world wars (and one world cup) and the cold war meaning that they were occupied until about 1991.. Which is of course jolly bad luck. Still, they’ve got a load of snazzy flecktarn uniforms instead of DPMs, which are good for plastic ball firing. Which is not in any way airsoft. At all. Honest. Also, a very punctual nation. They’ve been right on time for both the Great War and world war two. Which rather shows up the USA, who were howlingly late. Twice. Despicable. France Useless. Retreat from every battle. Except from being on the winning side in both world wars. Which was only due to us plucky Brits saving the day, honest. They should have looked to their past and seen that they were shocking at war anyway (Waterloo, Trafalgar Agincourt etc). Nice bread though. Traditionally like blue uniforms, which was possibly the only thing they’ve done right. And surrender a lot. Unless they’re on your side. Italy See France and apply the same here. Make nicer food though, and have a prettier flag. Prefer to look good (which they usually achieve, due to 40% of the military budget being spent on actual Gucci kit(1)) than actually fight wars. Mostly due to bad generals and a need to look good. However, have done comparatively little since WW2. Where they were soundly beaten, I might add. Norway Plucky little chaps who are pretty good at fighting when it’s cold. Because its usually cold in Norway. They even let us have a Christmas tree at Christmas, and let marines go over and play at arctic warfare. Which is jolly nice of them. So I’ll not slate Norway. They’re dashed good fellows. Spain Cant actually think of a single war Spain has been in recently. So, I’ll play fair and bring up Trafalgar again, where we beat them so well they joined us against Napoleon a bit later. And something to do with Gibraltar. Which they’re not getting back, by the way. The USSR (The original enemy) Wear Red a lot, and all commies. Do wear a lot of Greatcoats, though, and thus must be praised for efforts to greatcoatdom. Lots of men have lead it, all with Russian sounding names, mostly because they were Russian, and they generally caused aggro with NATO Countries. So we pointed nukes at each other. We won in 1991. There you go. Modern World History. Job is indeed a good’un (1)
I made this up a bit. .. well, I made it all up, really, so ueah.
149(Poole) Sqn ATC are in no way responsible for this. So don’t give them a hard time if you don’t like it, please. See Cpl R. Cure or for any complaints or queries. But not the staff, since its not their fault. However, this also means that they don’t get the credit. Which is jolly bad luck for them, since it’s obviously great. That’s all, carry on chaps…