Inspire: Conversation by St. Philip the Deacon Lutheran Church

INSPIRE CONVERSATION

Renewal & Strength

Space is limited. Registration opens March 15. Early Bird discount for those who register before April 29. Questions? Contact Kathy Hagedorn (CYT-200) at khagedorn@spdlc.org. Thursday, May 15 • 9am–3pm • Minnesota Arboretum

AT 6:30 P.M.

Abide is a weekly gathering designed to help you follow Jesus in your everyday life. Each month, we’ll focus on one passage of scripture, exploring it through Bible study, prayer, loving our neighbors and storytelling.

Drop in anytime. All are welcome!

Public conversations where faith comes to life.

2024-2025 SEASON

All events begin at 7:00 p.m. Lectures are free and open to the public.

THOMAS WAGNER

Faith & Resilience: Finding Hope in Challenging Times March 27, 2025

DAVID BROOKS

Faith & Connection: How to Know a Person April 24, 2025

INSPIRE

Vol. 7, Issue 3, Spring 2025

Published by St. Philip the Deacon Lutheran Church 17205 County Road 6 Plymouth, MN 55447 (763) 475-7100

editor in chief

Tim Westermeyer managing editor

Amanda Berger design Malley Design contributors

Cindy Carlson, Nancy Carlson, Makayla Dahleen, Beth Dudycha, Jen Galley, Renee Putnam, Mark Schmid website spdlc.org/inspire

email editorial aberger@spdlc.org on the cover

submissions

Do you have an idea for a story or love to write? Contact our managing editor with your submission, but please keep in mind the following guidelines:

(A) Your article may be edited for length and content. (B) Articles must fit in the larger themes of our publication and reflect the mission of St. Philip the Deacon. (C) All submissions will be reviewed by our editorial staff to determine the suitability for our publication. While we would love to include all submissions, space and cost limit our ability to do that. Submissions will not be returned.

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Scientists estimate that the average person takes in about 34 gigabytes of information every day. This is basically the equivalent of reading J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit. Every. Single. Day. We consume daily the amount of data that a person living 500 years ago would have taken in throughout a lifetime.

One of the ways that our brains cope with all this information is what researchers refer to as selective attention: Without our conscious choice, our brain selects only bits and pieces of all the input we receive from our senses. Everything else is tuned out as, essentially, distractions that we can let go of. Except when the thing on which our attention is focused isn’t the important thing—like when we’re adjusting the radio in our car and tune out the red traffic signal.

Distraction is everywhere. Philosopher Dallas Willard said, “The world around you is set up to waste your time … the way that it does that is to convince you that what you are doing and what you are engaged in is not of great value. And so, you wind up having to be distracted. And distraction is one of the main enemies of the human soul. And the human being winds up investing what time they do have in stuff that doesn’t matter.” Oof. That feels so true. I mean, how many nights have I sat scrolling through Pinterest when I might have been engaged in real life with my family?

So, what does this have to do with conversations? Everything really. Conversation has the power to change our lives and the lives of others if we do it well and with attention. When I think of the top 10 most significant moments of my life, over half of them were conversations. Conversa-

tions that shattered me. Conversations that encouraged me. Conversations that didn’t seem like much at the time, but that I still remember 20 years later.

We’ve stuffed this whole issue full of conversations. There are invitations to speak and opportunities to listen. There are tips and ideas for how to use conversation to connect more deeply with others and with God. And at the end of each article there are questions for discussion, so that these articles might become conversations with other people.

On Page 14 , Jen Galley (Adult Education) shares about the role of storytelling in conversation. New York Times Op-Ed writer David Brooks explains how conversation can help ease the loneliness epidemic (Page 16). SPD member Nancy Carlson writes about her experiences as chaplain to the Plymouth Fire Department and the centrality of listening within that role (Page 22).

My prayer is that this issue comes off the page for you. I pray that God might use the words here to inspire conversations that have the power to transform relationships in our community. And I don’t feel like that’s too big of an ask. After all, as Christians, we have been most transformed by a Word that was actually a person, a relationship.

WHAT I’M READING:

Olsen Pancoast

You’ll often find members of our staff with their noses in a book. This issue, we asked Olsen Pancoast (Senior High/Young Adult) about what he’s been reading, and here are some of his recommendations.

What is one book that you love? The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien

What are you reading right now? Cloud Cuckoo Land by Anthony Doerr

What book has challenged you?

SCRIPTURE CONNECTION

BY MAKAYLA DAHLEEN

Ioften start my day in the office with a cup of coffee. My favorite way to drink coffee is black with a sweet treat to offset the bitter bite. It’s even better when this ritual is accompanied by a conversation with a colleague or companion. During Lent, my conversation partners will be voices from scripture through a daily devotion. The conversations in the Bible are like a decadent layer cake with multiple tiers of frosting, sponge, and filling, a perfect pair for my morning cup of Joe.

The messages of scripture are not only from the words on the page. Each particular piece of literature was written within a specific context for a particular audience. When we read scripture, we are connected to our ancestors of the faith who crafted these stories and wrote them down. It’s like we are tethered to them with an invisible thread that also weaves us together with the next generation of leaders who canonized these writings and set them aside as sacred. Today we make meaning out of scripture with hundreds of years of interpretations tangled up with us too. When I read Psalm 23, I am connected to the psalmist, the ancient Israelite community, my neighbor who raised livestock and taught me how to lead animals to water, and my grandma, because it was her favorite psalm.

On the first Sunday in Lent the appointed first reading is from Deuteronomy 26:111. Scholars estimate that Deuteronomy

was written around 700-640 B.C.E. The Assyrian Empire was encroaching upon the empire of Judah and some Israelites were worshiping God as well as Assyrian deities to try and appease the powers that be. To encourage the people to be faithful to God alone, the authors wrote this passage in Deuteronomy from Moses’ point of view, as a speech encouraging them to praise God when they enter the promised land. Moses declares that they are to gather the first fruits of the land and offer them to God in thanksgiving for delivering them from Egypt and blessing them with a new start.

When I read this passage today, knowing the context helps me make meaning out of it. This passage makes me think about how I teach my son to pray before every meal we eat together at the table as a way of praising God for all that God has created for us to eat. Hopefully, this practice will encourage my baby to keep God in the center of his life and live generously with gratitude. This seemingly obscure passage is a conversation from the past that influences how I behave in the present and impacts the future through the next generations’ interpretations and actions.

Scripture is an incredible layered conversation. This Lent, let’s dig in!

For a conversation partner this Lent, pick up a copy of SPD’s new Lenten devotional Coming to Our Senses: Returning to God

The Universal Christ by Richard Rohr

Faith & Life

THURSDAY, MARCH 27

7 PM

We invite you to join us for “Faith & Resilience: Finding Hope in Challenging Times” with Dr. Tom Wagner.

Whether with individuals or organizations, Dr. Wagner seeks to enhance the buoyancy and well-being of his clients with his experience as a resilience researcher, presenter, writer, counselor and consultant.

Wagner’s clinical practice is grounded in nearly 30 years of experience blending researchbased interventions from counseling and systems theory, along with time tested wisdom from contemplative spirituality such as Logotherapy, Ignatian Exercises, Trappist Centering and Lectio Divina.

The Faith & Life Lecture Series is free and open to the public. All are welcome!

Read

THE LORD IS MY COURAGE

By K.J. Ramsey. Therapist

K.J. Ramsey explores Psalm 23 phrase by phrase, using it as a

guide to explore fear, trauma and faith.

Watch

THE TWO POPES

Netflix, PG-13 . The Oscarnominated story of a fictional meeting between German Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger (Pope Benedict XVI) and Argentinian Cardinal Jorge

Listen IN FEAST OR FALLOW

By Sandra McCracken.

This collection of songs by singer-songwriter Sandra McCracken holds in tension

Mario Bergoglio, who was elected after Benedict’s resignation in 2013, becoming the current Pope Francis.

both the abundance and scarcity of life.

BY TIM WESTERMEYER

One of the first things I remember doing when I came to St. Philip the Deacon almost 18 years ago— how have that many years passed?— is inviting people from the church to have coffee with me. No agenda, no plan, no expectation. Just a low-pressure way for me to begin to get to know people at this wonderful congregation.

All these years later, I still love having these conversations. I’ve met with people during challenging times. I’ve met with people who are celebrating an important accomplishment or milestone. I’ve met with people at their workplaces. I’ve met with people at coffee houses and restaurants. I’ve met with people who are sick. I’ve met with people who have recovered from sickness. And I’ve met with people who are dying.

to-face, but are delivered electronically, through a social media platform.

Every week now for these last five years, I’ve posted a short reflection that has something to do with our life of faith on my Reflections on Faith channel on YouTube. At first blush, these may seem like presentations or lectures, but honestly, that isn’t how I think of them.

It’s one of the great privileges of the work I still feel called to do—to hear people’s stories. To get to know them. To sit with them while they think about what their lives mean. How they got to where they are. What they hope to do next. What questions they are asking along the way.

Not much has changed about having these conversations since I became a pastor—and I don’t have any reason to think much about them will change in the years ahead.

That said, I have added a new type of conversation to what I started doing nearly two decades ago. These aren’t face-

Instead, I think of them as another way to continue the kinds of conversations I have with people in person. There are differences, to be sure. Coffee isn’t usually involved, for one thing, and I can’t listen to people’s reactions in real time while I’m recording the episodes. But the episodes do prompt conversations later, after people have seen them. And those conversations have expanded geographically—with people from the church for sure, but also with individuals I’ve now gotten to know from, literally, around the world—places like Australia, Japan, Canada, California, Ireland and Texas, among them.

If you’re interested in learning more about this newer type of conversation, please check out current and past episodes at YouTube.com/@reflectionsonfaith. And, of course, if you’d like to grab a cup of coffee sometime, I’d love to do that, too.

Conversationally Yours,

MEDITATION

“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.”

KARL A. MENNINGER

DEVOTED LIVING

Hearing God Speak

BY AMANDA BERGER

Inscripture, we read about people whose lives involve firsthand encounters with God. Burning bushes, pillars of cloud, prophets and angels announcing the will of God—Jesus speaking face-toface with his followers—so many examples of actual conversations and experiences of the presence of God.

You might also know someone who talks about “hearing” God’s voice in prayer. Others talk about wrestling or arguing with God, but you don’t really hear anything. You hear silence. What do they mean—“hearing God”? And how, exactly, are they hearing it? How does God speak? And better yet, how do I know if what I’m hearing is from God?

Hearing from God Testing that Word

God uses multiple means to speak to people today—just like God does in scripture. God may be speaking to you through dreams, in a prophetic word from a fellow believer, with a word or feeling that comes into your mind or seems to lift itself off the page of scripture.

To hear God’s voice, it is necessary for us to be attuned to its presence. We need time and space to get quiet and alone— because while it’s not impossible, it is rare that God’s voice is heard as a shout. It may start as a gut instinct or a phrase that pops into our minds during morning devotions; and when that happens, we may need to spend some time with it. As we practice paying attention like this, we become more familiar with how and with what words God might be speaking.

Jesus talks about being the Good Shepherd and how the sheep know their shepherd’s voice. How do they know the voice? Because they spend time with the shepherd. They recognize that voice: the sound, the cadence, the word choice. This is true in any relationship. There’s a reason why you instantly recognize the voice of your spouse, best friend or children on the phone—because you have spent enough time with them that how they speak, their word choices and the sound of their voice are familiar. Similarly the more time we spend with Jesus, reading his words and listening to his teaching, the more familiar his voice will become.

So, perhaps you feel like you are getting a little nudge or hearing something from God. Now what? How do we know that it isn’t just our own thoughts or feelings? There are a few ways that we can do this.

First, does what I’m hearing line up with scripture? Does it align with Christian tradition? In other words, does it point back to a God who is loving and who wants the best for us? What would Jesus say about it?

If you are less solid on what scripture teaches about a topic, then you might need to get help. So, another way to check is to hold it in conversation with a trusted, faithful companion—a Christ-following friend, a spiritual director or a pastor— particularly when it comes to big decisions or a challenging word.

Third, be patient and wait. Continue to hold what you hear from God in prayer. Does it keep coming up? Does the nudge feel more insistent? God will continue to provide opportunities for us to notice this prompt and wrestle with God’s invitation.

Like any listening, hearing God’s voice and word in prayer is a skill—one that can be cultivated and explored. Over time, and with practice, you’ll get better at it.

Conversation Questions

Are there any times you knew, clearly, that what you were getting was a word from God? What was that like and how did you respond?

Do you have a go-to way that you examine a prompting from the Holy Spirit? What does that look like for you?

LIFE TO THE FULL Simplicity

BY AMANDA BERGER

Staying as a retreat guest in monastic settings, I have been unexpectedly blessed by the simplicity of the accommodations.

Simple furnishings in guest rooms and appropriately outfitted spaces for study, worship and prayer invite you to feel at home and at peace. There is nothing extra, but neither is it anything less than what is needed to be at ease, comfortable and attentive. It feels like a visual sigh, a deep exhale of overstimulation and clutter. Part of what renews the spirit is the simplicity of the surroundings.

Simplicity is the practice of less, and our religious brothers and sisters aren’t the only ones engaging in this practice. In our culture, this is known as minimalism, but this isn’t quite the same as practicing simplicity as a spiritual discipline. Here’s what simplicity is not: A design aesthetic. Poverty. Or relentlessly organizing too much stuff.

Rather, simplicity is a posture or attitude toward our stuff. One author’s definition is: “Simplicity is an inward reality that can be seen in an outward lifestyle of choosing to leverage time, money, talents and possessions toward what matters most.”

And while our first inclination is to apply simplicity to our overcrowded closets and stuffed garages, the practice of simplicity extends into other areas of our lives: our calendars, our spending habits and even our spiritual life.

Our consumer-driven world has a vested interest in keeping us thinking and feeling that we do not have enough. Advertising and companies manipulate our desires and our spending—keeping us in the mindset of “If I just had _________ then I could be happy/complete/fulfilled.”

As Christians, we are still prey to this story we are being sold, even when we know in the very core of our being that only God can fulfill the deepest longing of our hearts.

CONVERSATION STARTERS

What thoughts or emotions come up for you as you think about simplicity in your own life?

In what ways do you experience less as more?

How might simplicity help you to orient your life more fully toward your values and calling?

Five Practical Ways Simplicity Can Shape Our Lives

3. 4. 5.

It can help us orient our lives around our purpose, enabling us to release those things which do not align with our values or true desires.

Simplicity makes space for what matters. Saying “no” to less important things can make the necessary space to say “yes” to what really matters to us.

It can help us to practice gratitude. We are more aware of how God has provided for our needs, and that we need much less than we think to have life to the full.

Simplicity cultivates a spirit of contentment. We come to realize that it is not our stuff, our hectic schedules or our quest for recognition that fulfills us, but relationships —with God and with one another.

It invites us to release our own overabundance. By embracing simplicity, we can find ways to share with others who have needs—whether those are physical needs, our time, financial support or acts of serving.

Jesus was a model of simplicity—he didn’t even have a permanent home, and if he invited you to dinner, it was likely at your house! He understood that earthly belongings would only be in the way of his heavenly mission.

Coffee Talk Coffee Talk

BY AMANDA BERGER

Conversation and coffee shops are meant for each other. Whether meeting a stranger or your best friend, coffee shops have become the de facto “third place” for many of us. Third places are public spaces which allow informal social interaction: Parks, libraries, bars and churches also fit this category (so do the less conversational bowling alleys, fitness clubs and malls). Since 27% of Americans self-report visiting coffee shops a few times a week, there is clearly something here that appeals to us.

Often designed to be cozy and welcoming, coffee shops invite us to linger. They welcome us whether we want to catch up

with a friend or read and study. For many, they provide just the right amount of action and distraction for increased focus and creativity. Coffee shops foster a sense of belonging—inviting us to slow down and reminding us that we are a part of the swirl of community all around us.

Our challenge to you: Invite someone to coffee. Ideally, someone you don’t know well or would like to know even better. Maybe it’s a colleague that you’d like to know better outside of work or another parent from your child’s sports team. Or maybe it’s someone you used to know well but have lost track of and are interested in rekindling a connection. Regardless, offer the invitation. Set aside the time to see and get to know each other.

Bonus: We are offering five $20 Caribou gift cards to inspire you to act on this invitation. Beginning March 15, the first five people to ask Amanda Berger (aberger@ spdlc.org) for a gift card get coffee on us—but you have to prove you are taking someone else out (so screen shot the text or copy your invitee on the email with date/time of your meet up). When the cards are gone, they’re gone!

Local Faves

Though chains like Starbucks and Caribou will always be easy and convenient, if you are looking for a more unique option, these are a few of our local favorites. (Ordered by distance from church.)

The Fox & Pantry

15725 37th Ave N #7, Plymouth, MN

TheFoxAndPantry.com

So much more than coffee, this shop offers a complete food menu, as well as gifts; they also offer a variety of food, floral design and craft classes.

Questions for Connection

Base Camp Coffee

14625 Excelsior Blvd, Minnetonka, MN

BaseCampMtka.com

This hidden gem shares space with Unmapped Brewery (an option for non-coffee drinking conversations as well). Special treat: They serve Fika Coffee (roasted in Grand Marais, MN) and a coffee flight of their seasonal specialty flavors.

Dogwood Coffee

1209 Tyler Street NE, Minneapolis, MN DogwoodCoffee.com

Though it’s more of a hike to their Northeast location, they offer sustainably sourced, locally roasted coffee. We’re obsessed with their Bear Hug Dark Roast.

The Lobby

234 Water St, Excelsior, MN

TheLobbyCoffee.com

Located in historic downtown Excelsior, this third wave coffee shop offers indoor and outdoor seating, amazing specialty drinks and their almond croissants are to die for!

One of the main reasons we ask someone out to coffee is to connect … to get to know them, to catch up and to solidify our relationships. Asking the kind of questions that can help us go deeper in relationships doesn’t always come naturally, though. Here are a handful of our favorite conversation starters:

What’s your favorite unimportant thing about yourself?

How do you think the time and place that you grew up is impacting you now?

What part of your day do you treasure and why?

What is one way that you nurture your spiritual self?

What qualities do you find most important in another person?

Where have you felt the presence of God in a really real way?

What book(s) have most shaped you as a person? How?

What seemingly small life event or conversation has had the most impact on who you are?

What do you think will be the biggest change in your life five years from now?

What has been the best decade of your life so far?

“Each

encounter

becomes an opportunity to weave our lives together.”

CONVERSATIONS THAT CONNECT

BY JEN GALLEY

I STOOD IN FRONT OF A BOX OF POMEGRANATES AT TRADER JOE’S,

SEARCHING FOR THE PERFECT ONE.

young woman with an overflowing grocery basket scurried over and asked, “Excuse me, how can you tell which ones are ripe?” “Good question,” I replied, glancing at the fruit. “I think they have flat sides, but I’m not completely sure.” Side by side, we inspected each piece of fruit. The woman tilted her head and laughed, “Can you believe it? I stopped by to pick up one thing and just received a text from my mom with a long list of things to buy.”

She continued, “My mom’s family from Colombia will be visiting in a few days. It’s been a long time since we’ve been together, and she’s buzzing around the house with excitement. She’s planning a very special dinner for everyone. I’m just happy to help in any way I can. I’m excited to see our family, but I really love seeing my mom this happy.”

The woman made her final selection, and I thanked her for sharing about her family and wished her well. As she walked away to check off the last items on her list, I silently prayed that God would protect her relatives as they traveled, and that they would experience meaningful moments of connection and joy over dinner. This brief conversation in the produce section was a gift—an invitation to truly see my neighbor and receive the gift of her story. I could have missed it, but somehow it helped me feel more connected to love for family and the human longing for home.

In his book Between the Listening and the Telling, Mark Yaconelli writes, “Storytelling is being human together. We tell stories to savor the pleasures of living. We

tell stories to help one another remember who we are and what matters. We tell stories to weave our lives together. We tell stories to keep our souls intact when suffering overtakes us. This is story as medicine. This is how story can save us.”

In a world full of distractions and busyness, how might we engage in conversations that invite storytelling? Here are five simple practices that can help us connect with others in ways that we all need:

LISTEN

Stories are like doors. When opened to us, we are invited to humbly step inside—if even just for a moment. For the one sharing, it is an act of hospitality to welcome us into better understanding what it feels like to be them. By offering full, unhurried attention, the listener is a gracious guest who creates an environment for our conversation partners to feel their story matters and they are truly seen.

ASK GOOD QUESTIONS

A conversation that invites storytelling often includes a well-placed, open-ended question that helps us connect with one another. For example, when meeting a friend at a restaurant, we might ask a food related question like, “What is the best meal you ever had?” More examples include “When did you experience joy this week?” or “Tell me about a place you loved to visit when you were a child.” The best prompts that lead to rich, meaningful storytelling are open-ended and allow the storyteller to decide how much they would like to share.

RECEIVE STORIES AS A GIFT

Stories offered to us in conversation are a gift. To receive stories as a gift, our goal is to stay in step with our conversation partner— not pushing them forward or lagging. Thoughtful follow-up questions should be carefully offered. The story can stand on its own, just as it is. It’s a sacred offering.

SAY “THANKS”

When someone shares their heart with us, the most powerful response is not to analyze or offer advice but to say, “Thank you.” This may feel simple, but it is one of the most profound ways we can express our appreciation for their vulnerability.

SHARE YOUR OWN STORY

Conversations are a gift exchange of listening and sharing our own stories. When we share our own experiences, we do so not to impress or perform but to extend hospitality to others. When we offer our stories with authenticity and vulnerability, we invite others to step into our world. This mutual exchange builds trust and deepens connection, and time seems to slow down if even for just a moment.

By listening well, asking good questions, receiving stories as a gift, saying thank you, and sharing our own stories, we can foster meaningful conversations that connect us in profound ways. Each encounter becomes an opportunity to weave our lives together, to be human together, and to experience the grace of connection.

FAITH & CONNECTION

AN INTERVIEW WITH DAVID BROOKS

BY TIM WESTERMEYER

David Brooks is a New York Times op-ed columnist and author of six books. Brooks will join us in April for his lecture entitled “Faith & Connection: How to Know a Person.” Taking a “sneak peek” at what Brooks will talk about, based on his book How to Know a Person, I had the opportunity for a Zoom interview with Brooks in November 2024.

I think this was from a podcast you did: You said, “We live in a time that is weirdly disorienting. We’re in the middle of a social crisis.” Will you say more about that? Yeah. We’ve become sadder as a society—so we’re seeing rising depression, rising rates of mental health issues, rising loneliness. Fortyfive percent of high school kids say they’re persistently hopeless and despondent. The number of Americans who say they have no close friends has gone up by fourfold.

And then that leads to a crisis of meanness. Because when you feel alone, neglected and invisible, you regard it, first, as a threat because we evolved to be surrounded by people who are going to look out for us. But also you see it as an insult to your dignity, which it is. And so, you want to lash out. The sadness statistics are accompanied by meanness statistics, with an increased number of people committing crimes and an increase in gun violence.

And to me, that sense of sadness and meanness grows out of a sense of existential anxiety and a loss of moral purpose. People are hungry for some sense of moral purpose and they’re not finding it in their spiritual lives, so they look for it in their political lives—which is a pretty terrible place to look for your sense of moral purpose.

Is there a way to explain how we got here? If I had to tell one master story, it is that in the 1940s-1950s, we were a pretty communal culture … and we were pretty comfortable working within large organizations—whether it was the Catholic church, or IBM, the Army, or our workers’ union at General Motors. We lived in reasonably stable communities with lots of what they call social capital.

And we broke out of that because: A. It was racist and sexist, and B. It was too confining. And so, in the 1960s, we smashed it all up and embraced the much more individualistic culture. I think if you live for 60 years in an individualistic culture, you may strengthen the possi-

bilities that people have options, but you weaken the [social] bond.

And so, I would say, over the last 10 years, we’re trying to find some way to find community. But we’re having a massive war over how to do that … over what kind of community we want to be.

One response to this crisis, as you suggest in your How to Know a Person , is “an epic activity called ... having a conversation.” So why is having conversations so important, given the cultural crisis we find ourselves in? If you think, as I do, that the chief problem is distrust or alienation or loneliness, then the only way you can get to know another person is by asking them a question. If you think you can imagine your way into their heads, you’re probably wrong. People are too different. People are complicated and their heads are always changing.

To get to know someone, you have to not only be able to ask them a question—which is a rare skill—but you have to really spend time, and the conversation can’t just sit there over in shallow terrain. It has to get deeper.

And I found that when those conversations happen, then trust is built, and big social changes emerge from small social occasions. I’ve come to really appreciate the power of that.

Even something as small as you go to the [drugstore] and you have a nice 15-second

encounter with the person behind the cash register. That’s surprisingly powerful.

And if you have a lot of those in a day, you’re going to walk away feeling like, “Yeah, I’m surrounded by people who basically care about making the world good.”

How did we lose the ability to have those conversations? What happened? I think there are a lot of culprits here. Social media is a culprit—that we are on our screens and not having experiences. We’re not having conversations, and you get a generation who are kind of anxious about the thought of having a conversation.

Partly, it’s that we’re less active in civic life, so we’re less used to talking to people who are in our community but are not like us.

I’m a Northeastern guy, and I’m used to all the groups that are in Northeastern urban areas. I’m very comfortable with Puerto Rican groups and Black groups. I just have a history there. But the biggest challenge for me, frankly, when I started being a reporter, was talking to Southern white rural people. When you look at my skin color, I should have something in common, but it was culturally unfamiliar to me. And so, when we have big cultural chasms, it’s just a lot harder to feel comfortable and to want to have a vulnerable conversation.

Which then leads, in some ways, to what you might call the guts or the heart of your book. What are some tips for how to have better conversations? Well, the first tip is: Don’t underestimate how much you’ll enjoy it! And don’t underestimate how deep people will want to go. If you ask people respectfully about their lives, then [people] love to go deep. But you have got to pace yourself.

I start by asking people about their childhood—where they’re from, and people love to talk about their childhood and what you wanted to be when you were a kid. I have a friend who asks people about the person we were in high school. We’re still carrying that person around inside and so

he’ll ask, “Who were you in high school? And how has that changed?”

I asked a friend of mine who’s a theologian: What’s your favorite unimportant thing about you?

Oh, yes, I’ve used that question many times. I love it. I sometimes ask people, “How do your ancestors show up in your life?” If you’re Dutch, or if you’re Black or Latinx, Puerto Rican, whatever. How does that influence who you are?

I’ve been around exercises where you find a stranger, and tell them the high point, the low point, and the turning point of your life. And they do it—and they love it. You can’t get them to stop those conversations!

Has your own ability or your capacity to have good conversations changed yourself? And if so, how would you describe that? I think so. Now, I’m still going to a dinner party these days, and I’ll think, “I’m really going to listen tonight.” And then I get a glass of wine in me, and I’ll be like, “Oh, I’ve got six funny stories I think I’ll tell.” I’m a work in progress.

But the thing that I hope I’ve gotten better at is that I was the kind of guy who nobody used to confide in. And so, if people had personal problems, they just sensed [I was too] busy. They might have thought: He’s in a hurry. He’s aloof.

And now, I think not only do I feel comfortable in [hard] conversations, but I’ve thought enough about psychology and relationships, and I’ve been through stuff that now might be helpful to other people.

At the church I serve, St. Philip the Deacon, we are attempting to intentionally reinforce the significance of community, of relationships, and of getting to know one another. From your perspective, what role can churches have in building community and fighting the epidemic of loneliness? I think most Americans’ problems are caused by the rising secularization of America. And I probably won’t ever write that down in the New York Times, but I sometimes think about it. It’s not only the loss of community that comes from church, but there’s a loss of faith; and I think faith does have an elevating effect on the believer and in community.

And then I think it’s hard to be lonely with people who you’re singing next to. So, if you’re up there singing whatever worship songs are out there, that’s a form of bonding. And then praying together—I find it weirdly moving. When I see people going up to the front of a church during communion, or whatever it is, and they’re joining a little prayer circle, [that’s] an act of tremendous vulnerability. And I would say that as someone who’s not a good prayer; I’ve had to evolve my way into it.

my job as a journalist really depends on the idea that people have souls.

And if people have souls, then there must be a giver of souls and the universe just didn’t feel like a cold, heartless place. It felt like an enveloping field of love. Over the last 11 years, I have matured [in my faith]. I used to think faith was about belief—that I had to believe the right thing. And then I thought, faith is about contact with the holy transcendent. But now I think faith is longing.

I was in a very ugly subway car in New York—and this is just one of a few small, very trivial moments—but I just felt the people all around me had souls. I felt my job as a journalist really depends on the idea that people have souls.”

This question is more personal. How would you describe the role that faith has played or is playing in your own life? I came to faith at the ridiculously old age of 50. I was born Jewish. I went to an Episcopal school and an Episcopal camp for my whole childhood. I grew up in an Episcopal story, but I didn’t believe in God. So, the Exodus story and the Jesus story were just two stories rattling around in my head.

And then, at around 50, my materialistic categories did not explain life as I experienced it. I was in a very ugly subway car in New York—and this is just one of a few small, very trivial moments—but I just felt the people all around me had souls. I felt

Dorothy Day wrote this book, The Long Loneliness . For her loneliness was not solitude, it was the longing for God. I read recently that heaven is “endless longing.”

And so, I don’t think we’re happiest when our longings are fulfilled, but when our longings are for the right thing.

I’m just thrilled, David, that you’re going to be joining us for the Faith & Life series on April 24th. So, the final question is simply: When people come to that event, what can they expect to hear? Laughter and tears! [laughs] I try to offer people uplift—and to remind people of the things they value the most. I hope people will leave with a sense of where we are as a society and practical things they can do to make a difference.

THE DOCTOR IS IN

People aren’t broken; I never conceptualize them as something broken that I need to fix … a lot of times people just want to be listened to.” “ W

hen you sit with Dr. Sal Khan, it is clear that he is “all in” on the conversation that he is a part of right now. And as a psychologist, that is his profession—listening for a living. But Khan got his start in a surprising place: the laundromat owned by his parents.

The first-generation, Minnesota-born, oldest son of South Asian immigrants, Khan’s teenage years were spent working in the family business. It was here that he learned about how important listening is to relationships—listening to people from different cultures and interacting with people from all

walks of life. Little did he know what impact that would have on him years in the future, as he honed his listening and empathy skills.

During a rough start to his pre-med college years, Khan took his first psychology class.

“It was a class my friend assured me would be an easy ‘A’,” said Khan. Whether or not the class was truly easy, or it was that he had finally found his niche, from that first Intro to Psych class, Khan was hooked.

“There was a physiology class where they brought in a human brain for us to study. When I touched it, I thought about music and art—I wasn’t interested in the brain folds or neurons. That’s when I knew I was

done with medicine.” From there on Khan flourished and went on to pursue his Ph.D.

During graduate school, Khan challenged himself with a very difficult practicum: working with male developmentally delayed sex offenders. “I knew there would be marginalized folks, deemed below the standards of society, and they would be looked on with a lot of hatred. From all I was learning in my first year of study, I knew that to be a therapist, a psychologist, you have to be able to have empathy and unconditional positive regard. I went in thinking, ‘If I can have empathy for these guys, I can do this job.’” Khan described how he learned to see their humanity, instead of judging their behavior—which was the key to engaging with these men and working with them to improve their lives.

As a Senior Clinical Psychologist at Hennepin County Medical Center, Khan works with those in acute mental health crises. Working on the inpatient psychiatric units, he is constantly engaged in one-on-one sessions and leading group therapy sessions. Khan hears his patients’ stories and comes alongside them, working through his skills as a listener to empower healing in their lives. Less officially, he also provides support for staff and care teams’ mental health as well.

QUESTIONS DISCUSSIONFOR

What experiences in your youth foreshadowed or played a part in the work you do now?

Have you ever had to apologize for the way you responded in a conversation? What happened next?

When are you most tempted to switch into “fix-it mode” in a relationship?

Khan’s work uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) as a primary means of change, which is a collaborative therapy. The therapist partners with the patient to help them move from where they are now to a new place in their thinking and behavior. The therapist’s role is to help them work through and come to their own philosophical understanding of why it is worth changing thought and behavior patterns. “They have to figure out their own reasons for change,” said Khan. “If we have enough trust together, and we use our relationship in therapy, that is the vehicle toward helping [a client] get to that change.” It’s about empowering the other person to do their own work and go through their own process.

Khan thinks of his work as a vocation. “It is what I am meant to do, and I enjoy it … there are some days where it is so meaningful and there’s things that happen when you are working with people in crisis. And I think there’s a reason that I’m in that role, and that I’ve been there for nine years.”

So, how is therapy different from just holding space for someone as a listener? Khan said, “Number one, in therapy there is an agreement that one person is identifying as ‘ill’ or ‘needing help to be well’ and the other person is identified as someone— therapist, psychologist or mental health professional—who will guide them through that process.” Also, as a therapist, he knows that there will be a chance to follow up and create a care plan. Listening to a friend or co-worker does not necessarily come with that same agreement.

One of people’s biggest fears is worrying that they will say the wrong thing and make the situation worse. “Human nature? Most of the time, we say the right thing. Most of us do! But if we do put our foot in our mouth, we can apologize,” said Khan. “If you are paying attention, you can tell by body language that maybe what we’re offering back as a listener isn’t helpful, and maybe we can point it out to each other and figure out what are the next best steps.”

Khan talked about the fact that to be healthy and available in a listening relationship, you must do your own work first. You need to know your own triggers and know yourself well enough so that you can see what you are bringing to the relationship— to know what might make you defensive or make it hard to receive feedback.

“I tell trainees all the time, ‘If you’re in fix-it mode, you’re in trouble.’ People aren’t broken; I never conceptualize them as something broken that I need to fix … a lot of times people just want to be listened to,” said Khan. When we switch into fix-it mode, most of the time it is because we are uncomfortable with the other person’s discomfort. When we do that, we leave empathy behind and instead make it about our own discomfort—not about offering our listening presence to another person. “That’s what most people want—they don’t need you to fix it. They just need you to sit with them and be present to the emotions they’re feeling. Just hear the story. No one really wants to be fixed.” We don’t have to be perfect to be helpful to others. To listen well, to be generous with our time, and to notice those who are lonely and assure them that you are available goes a long way to making someone feel seen and heard.

FIRE CALL

BY NANCY CARLSON

Several years ago, when I was a pastor at Westwood Lutheran Church in St. Louis Park, I felt a holy nudge to become a police chaplain. I didn’t even know what that entailed but the nudge was strong, so I listened.

My first call was when one of our young police officers had a medical issue on duty and died. It was a very difficult time for the police officers, firefighters and everyone else, especially the officer’s family. That was my introduction into public safety chaplaincy, and a role I continued to fill as a Police and Fire Chaplain in St. Louis Park for about eight years. In that time, I got to see and know the officers and firefighters. I loved being part of that important ministry.

In the summer of 2022, I got a call from the Plymouth Fire Chief. He had been an assistant fire chief in St. Louis Park, so I knew him well. He had an opportunity for me: chaplain for the Plymouth Fire Department. This internally facing position was primarily to be there for the firefighters and other staff. I have always had a heart for and loved the fire department, so I said yes and started in 2023.

In order to get to know them, support them, and learn about what they do every day, I showed up every week and went on their calls. If the truck was going, I would be on it. It really is thrilling to ride on a big red fire truck with lights and sirens, as long as nothing terrible happens! My first call included a fatality, so I was there to provide comfort and support. I hung out with the crew at the station when they weren’t on a call. I went with them when they got food for lunch or dinner. I even slept at the station one night. I wanted to be prepared for a call, so I slept in my clothes and even had my shoes on! But we didn’t get any calls, and we were thankful for a good night’s sleep.

All this time, I was getting to know them. It takes a long time to build trust. Showing up, being there and providing the ministry

of presence helps. I also needed to open up and tell them about me. They needed to see and know me too. We had lots of conversations about big things and little things.

Being known takes more time, attention and care than being seen does. I am learning and starting to know what their silence or openness means. I’m learning when to ask more probing questions, when to listen, when to be silent. Knowing also includes remembering—so I can follow up and ask about their families or the difficult call they went on. It also means I can pray for them and lift them up to God, who knows them best of all.

As David Brooks wrote in his book How to Know a Person, “To know a person is to have a glimmer of how they experience the world.” Riding on the fire trucks, hanging out at the station and showing up week after week has given me a glimpse of how they experience the world. It is fun when they come alongside a car with young kids in it and they roll down their windows and wave. It can be eye-opening to go on call after call with no rest in between. It can be mind-blowing to think about all the gear they carry on their backs when they enter a burning building to fight a fire. And then there are the days when the cards and thank you gifts come in, and I get to read about how they saved someone’s life. It is awe-inspiring as well.

Week by week, the holy conversations continue, and we build trust and deepen our relationships. When I first started this role, one of the firefighters said to me, “I’m so glad they are doing this now so that when the going gets tough, we will already know you and feel comfortable talking with you.” Amen to that.

Questions for Discussion

In what ways might you support and show care for those who work in public service?

What opportunities have you found in your work to show or share your faith?

Chaplaincy is a special call to ministry. Have you ever felt a nudge or call toward serving in ministry—either in a professional or volunteer capacity? How did you respond?

Seen, Heard, Known

BY MARK SCHMID

The importance of being seen, heard and known can be traced back to the creation story, when we were created in God’s image. This divine image instills inherent worth and dignity, emphasizing that each of us deserves recognition and respect.”

INthe spring of 1997, I graduated from Luther College in Decorah, Iowa. I was a psychology major and a religion minor, the latter more by accident than design, all because of one special professor. Richard Simon Hanson taught at Luther College as a professor of religion from 1963 until his retirement in 1999. He had a brilliant mind, and he was a gifted, passionate, caring and creative teacher who inspired creativity and critical thinking in his students. He was a master storyteller and had the ability to bring the biblical narrative to life, making his classes engaging and meaningful.

If I close my eyes, I can still hear his recognizable voice telling the story of a baby, Emmanuel, born under the starry sky of Bethlehem during Juletide (now known as “Christmas at Luther”). I can still hear his voice singing traditional Hebrew folk songs, and our Judaism and Hebrew classes singing and dancing to some songs like “Hine Mah Tov” (Behold how good and how pleasant it is for people to dwell together), “Hava Nagila” (Let’s rejoice! Let’s rejoice and be happy) and “Shalom Chaverim” (Peace, my friends, until we meet again), a song sung at the conclusion of each class. Most importantly, though, far beyond his memorable teaching and beautiful singing, what made Professor Hanson so special was he had the God-given gift to make you feel seen, heard and known.

To Be Seen

To be seen means more than just physical visibility; it encompasses recognition of one’s identity, experiences and emotions. When individuals are acknowledged for who they are, it fosters a sense of belonging and validation. Being seen nurtures a sense of worthiness and encourages individuals to express themselves authentically. We long to be seen.

To Be Heard

Being heard is equally important. It entails not only the act of listening but also understanding and valuing what is being communicated. When individuals share their thoughts or feelings and find a receptive audience, it reinforces their sense of importance and fosters deeper connections. The act of listening—truly listening—can bridge gaps and resolve conflicts. It is an invaluable skill in nurturing and healthy relationships. We long to be heard.

To Be Known

To be known is to be understood on a deeper level, where one’s complexities, nuances and aspirations are recognized. This goes beyond superficial knowledge; it involves an emotional investment in another’s life. It allows individuals to feel safe in sharing their vulnerabilities and dreams, creating a space where they can grow and flourish. We long to be known.

The importance of being seen, heard and known can be traced back to the creation story, when we were created in God’s image. This divine image instills inherent worth and dignity, emphasizing that each of us deserves recognition and respect. Jesus exemplified this throughout his ministry, too, consistently reaching out to the marginalized, listening to the brokenhearted and acknowledging the unique stories of those he encountered along the way.

Professor Hanson embodied this Christlike posture for me during office hours in the spring of my junior year. Up to this point, I had taken several courses from Professor Hanson and from other religion department faculty members. On this day, I was feeling lost. Between my comparative religion and world religion courses, I found myself struggling with my own beliefs and subsequently my faith. For years, I thought I knew what I believed. Then unexpectedly my world was shaken to its core, and my brain was flooded with more questions than answers. As we sat in his office, I told Professor Hanson what was weighing heavily on my mind and in

my heart. I told him about my feeling lost and questioning my faith, not knowing what it all meant. He leaned in and listened intently to my story.

When I was done pouring out my feelings, Professor Hanson paused, leaned back in his chair, put his hands behind his head, and with a smile that traveled from ear to ear he said, “I know exactly what is happening with you.” I anxiously sat on the edge of my chair, eager to hear what he had to say. With a caring and compassionate look on his face, he simply, yet profoundly, said, “What you are experiencing is called learning.”

I imagine this was not the first time Professor Hanson had had a student in his office faced with such an identity crisis. I think now of that day as an experience of being on holy ground. I will forever be grateful for what I learned in his classroom or walking together across campus so many years ago, but it is the sacredness of that office conversation, in which I was so seen and heard and known, which stays with me to this day.

Listening in Action

BY AMANDA BERGER

“Active listening is primarily about making a deeper connection with people, so you may not use it in every scenario or conversation; but once you learn these skills, you may notice them creeping into more conversations.”

Active listening is a way of being in a conversation with intentionality and understanding—and it involves cultivating a whole set of skills, not just being attentive. Being a good listener involves eliminating distractions and making eye contact, nodding your head and repeating parts of what you heard the speaker say; but there is more to active listening than these external actions.

One who practices active listening is also attuned to the thoughts and feelings of the speaker, and their body language. The listener is hearing what’s not being shared verbally. Over time, active listening builds trust and strengthens relationships, can help more easily resolve conflicts, and leads us to anticipate and identify problems more readily.

Active listening is a skill—one that can be learned and improved through practice. An important starting point in becoming a great active listener is to gracefully (and honestly) ask yourself: How do I usually listen? This can be a humbling question to answer. Researchers identify four common listening styles:

1. Task Oriented

You want to get to the point and are focused on efficiency. Just give me the information.

2. Relational

You notice and feel the emotions underlying the conversation, prioritizing connection and understanding.

3. Analytical

You start from a neutral perspective, taking in as much as you can to examine a problem or situation from all angles to better come up with a solution.

4. Critical

You are judging both the person speaking and what they are saying.

Depending on the situation, we typically use a combination of the styles listed. However, knowing our default style and

its limitations can help us to recognize where our active listening skills need the most improvement. For example, if you are primarily a task-oriented listener, once you have the necessary information, do you find yourself zoning out? Or are you so focused on solving the problem (analytical) that you miss the emotional body language of your conversation partner?

So, what does it take to become a proficient active listener? First of all, practice. Instead of thinking primarily about what you are going to say in response, pay full attention to what is being said. Notice the body language and facial expressions. Is it possible that there is more to what they are saying than the actual words? You might ask open-ended questions that help the speaker to go a little deeper and get more specific.

A simple example of this might be when your child comes home from school and you ask, “How was your day?” They respond, “Fine. But I have so much homework and I’m so tired.” Because you are an active listener, you also notice that their shoulders are slumped and they angrily dumped their backpack on the floor. You might respond by saying something like, “Sounds like you might have had a rough day. Do you want to say more about that?” That’s it—your child may choose to elaborate or not, but you’ve done your part of active listening. They know that you heard and saw them and are available for more if they need it. You could just have easily said, “Okay, well you’d better get started on that homework then.” Though there’s nothing inherently wrong with that interaction, it may have been a missed opportunity for deeper relational connection.

Active listening is primarily about making a deeper connection with people, so you may not use it in every scenario or conversation; but once you learn these skills, you may notice them creeping into more conversations. You may find your connections with other people becoming deeper, and in return you may find people listening to you in different ways.

Asking

open-ended questions is its own skill to cultivate. However, there are some questions that work in most situations. Use these questions as examples for your own active listening conversations.

I heard you describe [blank]. Can you say a little more about that?

Is what you are describing how you really feel—or are you answering the way you think you should answer? What would it feel like to express your true feelings?

I sense [an emotion]. Am I reading that right? Can you tell me more about what you are feeling?

How did you arrive at that decision/opinion/action?

Tell me about your experience with [blank].

Why do you think about [blank]?

Conversation Questions

Do you have a sense of what your default listening style might be?

What do you think you are good at as a listener? What needs some practice?

O Adult Education & Spiritual Growth Capital Appeal Corner

ne key area in which we are investing energy and resources in our Salt & Light Appeal is in adult education and spiritual growth. Because of how deeply intertwined and important both disciplines are, at St. Philip the Deacon, you won’t experience any class or opportunity that doesn’t unite these two areas of Christian formation. There are opportunities to learn from knowledgeable teachers and to engage deeply with fascinating and diverse topics. Additionally, there is an invitation to learn from one another, to share our lived experiences of faith and be inspired by the encounters each of us have with the living God. All our classes and adult offerings include elements which live out Jesus’ call to love the Lord our God with all our minds, hearts and strength. Our staff, which includes Jen Galley (Adult Education), Amanda Berger (Spiritual Growth) and Beth Dudycha (Digital Hospitality), are intentionally fostering ways to integrate both areas more fully into the rhythms of our life together, in person and online.

“To me, education is a soul craft,” said Jen Galley. “The purpose is not information but rather transformation of will, mind/emotions, body and relationships. It’s about becoming students of Jesus, slowly becoming more like him, and being equipped to join what God is doing in the world.” We are excited to bring in guest teachers, utilize the best of what’s available in current biblical scholarship, published books and video curriculum, as well as engage the expertise of our pastors and staff. As we learn, we become more like Jesus.

“This conversion is an ongoing process in the lives of people of faith,” said Amanda Berger. “It is every day, beginning again, asking the Holy Spirit to align our lives more deeply with Jesus’ life.” To do that, we need places to explore embodied practices that support our daily walk with Jesus. These spiritual disciplines also invite us to turn our gaze inward to reflect on how we are formed by those practices, both individually and with others.

In this way, we are becoming the kind of people who are empowered to reach out to all God’s people, equipped to proclaim God’s Word at every opportunity and called to inspire others to do God’s will.

Currently Being Offered In Development

Classes that invite those who have little or no church experience to find places to connect, ask questions and learn the basics of Christian faith.

Opportunities to learn more about scripture, Christian history and the church.

Engaging members around prayer practices, spiritual direction and the contemplative lifestyle.

Developing a team of leaders to support and mentor others in their faith journey.

One-on-one spiritual direction.

A core series of classes, offered on a regular basis, which provide our visitors and members with foundations of Christian faith and next steps for growing deeper in relationship with God.

Asynchronous classes offered through an online platform that members and friends can work through at their own pace to grow in faith.

Group spiritual direction opportunities and a regular calendar of retreat opportunities.

BECOMING Like Jesus

BY AMANDA BERGER

is a common misconception that following Jesus is all about how we get to eternal life. And sure, that’s part of it, but Jesus had a ton to say about how we live here, in this life. As we mature in faith, the primary invitation of the Christian life is to become more like Jesus, so that we can do what he did—share the good news of God’s kingdom.

Many of us, even with the best intentions, fail to allow our lives to be transformed by Jesus. Instead, we live our lives more often formed by and conformed to the patterns of the world. The Apostle Paul wrote about this centuries ago in Romans 12:2, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind,” and it’s still a good reminder today.

And how do we do that? By walking with and learning from Jesus. As we read about his interactions with people, what stands out is the opportunity to do better. While perfection is an impossibly tall order, “better” might be within the realm of possibility.

Jesus’ “better” for us might simply look like a more attentive and softer posture toward other people. Biblical examples abound of where Jesus’ willingness to be interrupted and his receptiveness to people’s needs is the act of love. But this kind of grace and generosity toward others doesn’t happen by accident. If we allow ourselves to watch what

Jesus is doing and integrate it into our own way of being in the world, over time, we will be transformed. Here are three examples:

He looked at him with love.

In Mark 10:21, Jesus encounters a rich young man, faithful to the Law, who longs to inherit eternal life. He wants to know what else he must do. Jesus knows that what he is about to say is hard—the young man must give up everything and come follow him. As Jesus replies, scripture says that he “looked at him with love.” The young man was brave enough to ask the hard question, and Jesus loved him enough to give him a truthful answer. As the young man sadly walks away, Jesus does not berate him, or make fun of him, or express contempt.

Could we become like Jesus, looking at others with love and compassion when the hard thing they are invited to be or to do goes against who they are right now?

What do you want?

When Jesus meets the blind beggar, Bartimaeus, in Mark 10:46-52, two things Jesus does stand out which we would do well to model. Amid a crowd, Jesus hears Bartimaeus cry out. So, number one, Jesus isn’t so focused on his own agenda that he misses someone else calling out to him. The second is that Jesus asks Bartimaeus, “What do you want?” Instead of assuming that Jesus knows what’s best for the blind man, he asks and allows Bartimaeus to voice his desire.

Could we become like Jesus by asking others what they need, instead of assuming that we know what is right for them?

Blind guides.

Jesus is often hardest on the people who should know better—he has words of criticism and caution for those in leadership, like the Pharisees (Matthew 23) and his own disciples (Mark 9:51-52). Jesus wants them to be self-aware and recognize their own faults and hypocrisy. He challenges them to be transformed into people of love, instead of judgment. Then, for those who are living in sin but doing the best they know how, Jesus offers grace, compassion and an invitation to another way.

Could we become like Jesus, recognizing the difference between those who should know better and those who are doing their best with what they know or have? (Even if that means turning that gaze toward ourselves?)

These are three examples of how we might become more like Jesus and none of them is easy. We could spend years trying to embody just one of them. But that is kind of the point. Getting to heaven is easy—that work has been done for us through Jesus’ death on the cross. But the invitation to life in God’s kingdom is also here and now, calling us to walk in the way of Jesus.

For Discussion

Jesus had a way of making people a little uncomfortable at times. What in this article makes you a little uncomfortable?

Becoming like Jesus is an invitation to love. How do you see love in action in each of these examples?

What kind of invitation do you sense to become like Jesus?

LOVE + SERVE + GROW

CARING IN OUR COMMUNITY

BY RENEE PUTNAM

e take for granted how many people serve in our community as volunteers in various capacities. From serving in food shelves to coaching youth sports, members from SPD make a difference in the lives of thousands of people each week. Here we celebrate just a few of them. Perhaps you will be inspired to share your own story of serving!

In each of these interviews, those serving were pleasantly surprised by the conversations with staff of each organization, those they served, and even their own families during and after the activity had ended. Perhaps they will spark some conversations with you and yours.

“ BRUCE WARNER

Volunteer Reading Assistant Program

What do you do as a reading assistant? I go to an elementary school where I meet with my buddy for 30 minutes. He reads a page, and I read a page. Simple!

What got you started with hallway reading? As a retiree and widower, I intentionally made the choice to do one thing per day to get me out of the house. I look forward to seeing my second grader each week.

What do you like about hallway reading? It is incredibly rewarding! I enjoy getting to know people and I would not have ordinarily encountered them had I not served in this way. Everyone has a story, and I get to hear some great ones.

You are so good at getting to know people. Have you always been outgoing? No! I like people but it has taken a lot of practice and trying new activities. People are kind to me and when I ask questions and listen well, I get to know some amazing people. Better yet, when I talk to my grandkids, I have some fun stories to tell about my day.

18 years ago, I had a stent put in my heart and I got a kick out of those escorts who pushed me around in the VA Hospital.

I wondered if I could maybe do that, too.”

DALE MALLBERG

How did you get started serving for these organizations? Eighteen years ago I had a stent put in my heart, and I got a kick out of those escorts who pushed me around in the VA Hospital. I wondered if I could maybe do that too. My surgery experience also got me thinking about my own burial, so I also explored the opportunities at Fort Snelling.

What was most appealing to you to serve in this way? “All gave some, some gave all.” I want to give back to those who gave all! I also wanted to get exercise, meet people and get out of my wife’s hair for a couple of days per week.

What is the best part about serving?

There is a sense of community. In a way, it is like when I served with a squad in the military. While volunteers are waiting for a patient to need escorting to a room or their car, we get to sit down together and talk. We have become a tightly knit group, and I also get to meet new people every day. For example, I met a woman who served in WWII. I had the pleasure of knowing her until she recently passed away just before turning 102! She was so interesting!

Center for VA Development & Civic Engagement Escort, Fort Snelling Memorial Rifle Squad

LAURETTE HANKOM

Flourish Food Market Volunteer

How did you get started as a volunteer for Flourish? I heard about volunteer opportunities at Flourish from a member of the Mexico mission trip that I went on in June 2023. I had been looking for new types of volunteer experiences that would push my comfort zone a bit.

What is Flourish and what do you do there? Flourish is a completely free plant-based food market located on Aldrich Avenue South in south Uptown. It is a collaborative partnership between Flourish Placemaking Collective and Rooted Green Wellness, made possible through the support of Second Harvest Heartland and other community members. Flourish exists to provide access to fresh and healthy food options to households in communities where access to fresh and healthy food options can be difficult to come by.

I’ve done a variety of things from unpacking pallets of fresh produce to greeting guests at the welcome table. We also cook a lunch meal for all clients on the third Wednesday of every month that they can enjoy either before or after shopping at the market. So, some of the volunteers (including me!) meet mid-morning to make the lunch to share (usually soup), trying to incorporate fresh produce and canned goods that we have in the food market.

What is your favorite part about serving at Flourish? We have a lot of repeat clients each week, so my favorite part is getting to know them all better every week. There are a lot of native Spanish speakers that shop at the market, so I’m able to practice my Spanish. They are so kind when I make mistakes in speaking that it encourages me to practice with them even more!

LEARN MORE

You can find more info on these organizations at their websites or by emailing serve@spdlc.org.

VOLUNTEER READING ASSISTANT PROGRAM WayzataSchools.org

FLOURISH FOOD MARKET CenterOfBelonging.org

CENTER FOR VA DEVELOPMENT AND CIVIC ENGAGEMENT VolunteerMatch.org

FORT SNELLING MEMORIAL RIFLE SQUAD (VETERANS ONLY) MemorialRifleSquad.org

START YOUR OWN CONVERSATION

In what way do you serve your community?

When you pause to reflect, who serves you and your family in a given week? (Especially consider those who give their time and energy to your children in a volunteer capacity—coaches and team managers, classroom parents, hospital volunteers, etc.)

What causes or organizations ignite your passion? How might you get involved?

SPRING

CALENDAR

SATURDAY APRIL 19

CHILDREN’S EASTER EGG HUNT

Families are invited to come to SPD and hear the Easter story before heading outside to gather hidden eggs! There is no cost for the event, but for planning purposes, we ask you to register online by April 12 at spdlc.org/register.

FRIDAY MAY 9

TWIN CITIES AMERICAN GUILD OF ORGANISTS MEMBER RECITAL

Organists from across the Twin Cities come together to present an exciting and creative program, featuring the Schantz organ at St. Philip the Deacon. The event with reception is free and open to the public.

SATURDAY, MAY 3 DAY FOR DADS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN

Gather with other dads of young children for fellowship, food, faith conversations and service projects. Register online at spdlc.org/register.

MONDAY, MAY 19

MINNESOTA TWINS VS CLEVELAND GUARDIANS

Join us to watch the Minnesota Twins take on the Cleveland Guardians at Target Field. Your reserved seats will include your ticket to the game plus all-inclusive ballpark fare. Register online at spdlc.org/register.

Event Registration

Scan the provided QR code and navigate to the event of your choice to register.

JUNE 9-12

VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL

9–11:45 a.m. Join us for four days of adventure-filled learning at “True North” VBS. The days will be filled with music, stories, games, experiments, friends, learning, growth and more. We will be both indoors and out. You can register at spdlc.org/register.

FAMILIAR

FACES KATE STERNER

Kate Sterner has been a part of the SPD team since 2014 and has been integral to managing our communications and website, along with elements of video production. She is deeply involved behind the scenes in many of our projects, and it is our pleasure to have her share here a little bit more about who she is and her life in ministry.

Describe when you knew you’d be going into ministry. I grew up in the church. I am a PK [pastor’s kid]. God has always been calling my name. I don’t remember any “aha” moment about working for the church, but most of my jobs have been faith-based or in nonprofits. I did try to work in the corporate world for 10 years in my 30s, but it was not a good fit. And when I returned to working for the church, it felt like coming home.

What’s one thing that people would be surprised to know about you? People are sometimes surprised to learn that I speak Swedish fluently. I lived in Sweden in my early 20s and taught English there.

What are three things on your lifetime to-do list? Hot air ballooning, being an extra in a movie, and a vacation in Hawaii.

How do you take care of yourself—spiritually, emotionally and physically—so that you stay healthy in ministry? Reading, asking questions and sharing with others about my faith greatly supports my spiritual health. I’m in the middle of a four-year course called Education for Ministry. It’s offered through the Episcopal church and is aimed at giving lay people a deeper understanding of our faith. I feel like I’m getting a seminary-level education, and the conversations with my fellow students are challenging and enriching. I’d recommend Education for Ministry to anyone who wants to more deeply explore the history and theology of Christianity, and perhaps discern what type of ministry God may be calling them to.

What are you passionate about right now? Genealogy and family history. I have quite extensive information about my forebears, and I’m eager to get it all recorded for the sake of the youngsters in my family. They may not be interested in it now but when they are older, I think it will become more significant, as it has for me.

National Mental Health Speaker

Rev. Dr. Sarah Griffin Lund Tuesday, April 29, 7pm

A collaborative evening at St. Philip the Deacon with national mental health speaker Rev. Dr. Sarah Griffith Lund, author, pastor, and advocate for family, youth and neurodiverse mental health. Dr. Lund will be sharing her deep insights on the unprecedented mental health challenges facing our nation and communities. We will explore ways we can support others on their journey and tools we can use and share to improve our own mental health and those around us.

The evening will include a Q&A and a “resource fair” with helpful information and free resources to support mental health from approved partners.

HOLY WEEK

Palm Sunday Worship • April 13

8:15, 9:30 & 10:45 am

Maundy Thursday • April 17

7:00 pm

Good Friday • April 18

5:30 pm Family & Children’s Service

7:00 pm Veneration of the Cross

First Light of Easter • April 19

5:00 pm

Easter Worship with Holy Communion • April 20

8:00, 9:30 & 11:00 am

17205 County Road 6 Plymouth, MN 55447

“Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

COLOSSIANS 4:5-6