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Professional Spotlight Marcie Willliams-Browning

Cook Up a Passion for Community Service

Designing with Heart

From the publisher

Mimi Zelman

Dear Readers, Can you believe we are halfway through 2010? Time has just flown by! Now that we are in the last part of the year, are you on track meeting your goals for 2010? If you are, that is wonderful and should be congratulated! If you are not there yet, what are you going to do to catch up and meet those goals? First, what is your or who is your target market? What are you doing to reach those people? All lot of businesses fall into the trap of not believing in enough advertising!

“” Are you on track to meet your goals for 2010?

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Businesses need to have name recognition and branding. Set up a budget and bigger is not always better, have a few smaller ads in more places to reach the people you need to. Utilize social media, this avenue is free and reaches your audience in a different way. To have good branding all of the above should be in your marketing plan. If you don’t know how to do this, you can contact me and I can refer you to people that can. This saying kind of says it all: Why does a man get up in the morning and brush his teeth with an advertised toothbrush, Drink advertised coffee, wear advertised clothing, drive to work in his advertised car, but doesn’t advertise his business till he advertises it for sale! We at Women With Know How would love to earn your business and we have a plan to work with all budgets. Why wait? Give us a call!

Till next month, Mimi

COntents

Features

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20

32

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Cover Story Rita Miles

Family Features Cook Up a Pasion

Professional Spotlight Marcie Williams-Browning

Style Summer is Around the Corner

Departments

Management Robyn Crigger

Communication Janet Anderson

Your Career Mary Cantando

Young Entrepreneur Kim Hughes

6 8 22

Personal FOrecast Marcie Williams-Browning

Relationships Mary Elizabeth Murphy

Legal Issues Mitzi Kincaid, Attorney at Law

28 34 36

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®

Announcing Our New Online Store You know your stuff, now show the world! Whether you’re heading to your company’s board meeting or your daughter’s soccer practice, you’ll be stylin’ when you show the world that you are a Woman With Know-how. We’ve handpicked a select group of items all in rich black, to showase the gorgeous fuchsia pink and silver metallic embroidered message that tells everyone you are truly a woman to be reckoned with.

Serving Charlotte and Charleston Publisher/President

Mimi L. Zelman mimi@womenwithknowhow.com Creative Director, Graphic Design

SPARK Publications Fabi@SPARKpublications.om

Feature Writer/Copy Editor

Cristina Cassidy

Sales Representatives

Fay Fletcher Fay@womenwithknowhow.com Margo Lord Margo@womenwithknowhow.com Contributing Writers

Mary Cantando Mary Elizabeth Murphy Marcie Williams- Browning Robyn Crigger Janet Anderson of Anderson PC Training Kim Hughes of 704events.com Charleston

Contact Mimi Zelman 704-491-1207 mimi@womenwithknowhow.com For more advertising information call Mimi at 704-491-1207 or email her at: mimi@womenwithknowhow.com

Go to www.womenwithknowhow.com

Copyright ©2010

Cover photography: by Episode XI Studios, LLC 4 ®

Management

Robyn Crigger, CEO Compass Career Management Solutions–OI Partners Inc.

Conflict Management:

An Elementary Breakdown of this Challenge

T

oday’s workforce is jampacked with a variety of ages, ethnicities, religions, races, and sexes.

These factors alone can cause numerous misunderstandings and confusion. Men and women have different views and perspectives, as do different generations. So how can any workforce find a way to work together effectively, be productive, and respectful of each other while providing successful gains for their employers? In the last few years the multiple nationalities in America have dramatically increased. With growing INFO MORE c. – Compass diversity comes a need ent ners In OI Part eer Managem for harmony. Businesses ns Car Solutio om .c r e e r ca need to find ways for mpass www.co 04) 849-2500 er.com re (7 a sc their employees to work compas rcrigger@ together, no matter what their differences. Though these difference exit, we are all still “human beings” 6 ®

Not only do we have this in common, but we also recognize that we each have different personalities. For instance, some people are more aggressive, while others are more passive, regardless of their backgrounds. Studies about these distinctions make us aware that each person has “core values/priorities/ preferences,” which is where conflicts arise. If you ever have a personality assessment done, such preferences and traits will be noted about you. One set of parents can have two children of the same sex, and yet each child can be quite different. These differences can initiate conflict. However, in marriages or in the workplace, we humans should be using our intelligence to find ways to resolve and be respectful of our differences. One person is NOT right and the other wrong. They just have different perspectives and preferences.

Companies will look for employees with strong leadership and management skills who can help their fellow employees to communicate more effectively, be more respectful, be more open-minded, etc. Being intelligent doesn’t necessarily make you a better leader or manager of people. In fact, even the best employee NEEDS the training to be an effective manager or supervisor. This training should include insight into “conflict management.” People are not born with this knowledge, but some have traits that make them better listeners and able to be more respectful.

Being intelligent doesn’t necessarily make you a better leader or manager of people.

When you are in a position of company leadership, be sure to provide effective training to those who can help you to lead and manage the workforce. Being respectful of others can help to avoid conflicts. With respect comes peaceful productivity, and that can result in success!

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7 ®

Communication

Janet Anderson, Anderson PC Training

How to Get the Most Out of a Virtual Learning

T

ips for Making Your Online Training Experience the Best Ever

The sun is shining, outside is calling, and you need more software training. You’d rather not spend a whole day in a training class, but you agree you need to brush up on some skills or maybe learn something completely new. Here are some ways to do just that. Training using a computer is not new. Remember Computer Based Training O F IN (CBT) and the e-learning MOREPC Training n o s revolution? CBT and .com Ander raining sonpct 066 r e d n e-learning are methods www.a 980.428.2 where students learn at their own time and pace. It could be on the web or on a CD or through another form of portable media. Podcasts, too, are a popular way to learn at your own speed. 8 ®

The Virtual Classroom Now there’s a new option - synchronous online training. This is where the instructor is on the computer at the same time as you and other students. This set up mimics the classroom. Instead of being in the same room physically with your instructor, you are in the same virtual room. The instructor can present, demonstrate, and test new material. The students can discuss, try out, and practice the new information. This is accomplished by a central virtual location, for example at a server space at a software company’s site or at your company. This may seem quite foreign to older students, but may be easier for younger ones who tend to be more computer savvy. Degrees are now awarded to students using this mode of learning. For instance, you can graduate from the University of Arizona while living in New York City!

Time Commitment BEFORE you commit to a class, make sure you are available during the time frame given. I mean AVAILABLE to learn. Be sure the entire time period is blocked off so that you can give the session your full attention and will not be distracted. I had a student who was doing the class in a coffee shop….NOT A GOOD IDEA! Mental Commitment BE mentally ready. You want to be committed to learning the subject. After all, you are spending your time and money. Hardware Compatibility Make sure you have all the necessary equipment and that it is compatible with what is required for the course. Check to see what software is being used and if your machine is able to connect, has the required bandwidth and accessibility to the web. Audio Requirements How you will hear and participate in the class is critical to know ahead of time. Many classes are conducted in a VOiP (Voice Over IP) mode. In other words, the voice and speakers are coming through your computer. If your bandwidth connecting you to the web is limited, this may not be a good choice. If you are using VOiP, a good quality headset is important.

You can graduate from the University of Arizona while living in New York City!

Another way to deliver the audio portion of the class is by using the software’s bridge number. The student calls into that number, enters the appropriate ID number, then their voice is ‘connected’ to the name on the participant’s list. Everyone can tell who is talking. A third way, is to have the students call into a separate bridge line. This is quite popular with training companies, since there is no charge to them. Each student pays for their own call. Most people have free long distance so this is not a problem. Learn the Software Training companies purchase a license to use products such as Go To Meeting, WEBEX, InSinc, and Connect Pro. These are products that have an interface that allows collaboration in a meeting or a training event. Some are better than others and so is the cost. Some even have products specifically designed for training that allow you to have breakout sessions. As a student, you need to download the software and become familiar 9 ®

Instructors are always trying to improve their service, so learning what you liked or didn’t like about the class is critical to them.

with it. Some training companies have a required “learn the tool” event or a recorded session showing you the features of the software. Instructors often find this helpful because they don’t want to take too much time dealing with struggling students lost in the delivery software. In some cases, students may be required to complete a software orientation session before they get the password to the training event. Get on Early Ask if you can “arrive” at the meeting a few minutes ahead of time to make sure the equipment is working right. Once on, you can check email or do something else while you wait for others. Some instructors have a question the students can work on or ponder while they are waiting. Always make sure your computer and phone are fully charged and 10 ®

your headset is working properly. Included in your invitation to the event, you will be given a meeting number and password. Write this down and have it handy. Not only do you need it to get online, but also you need it to get out of the meeting and to return. Once you are in the meeting, usually some kind of instruction regarding the audio part of the event is given. Again, write this info down, and be sure to use that info when you “dial in.” This will connect your voice to your name (if you use the product’s phone bridge). During the Learning Class You now have entered into a totally new and different way of communicating! Unless you are using video, which takes up valuable bandwidth, you don’t have body language or facial expressions to rely on for interpretation. Unlike communicating with email, you DO have inflection in your voice. Be sure to ask lots of questions if you are unclear about ANYTHING. You can participate in a variety of ways, depending on what the class provides: Verbal response. You can answer a question or share a story verbally. Annotation tools. You can draw a check mark or type to share your response. Chat. You can use the chat tool to answer or ask questions.

Raise hand/lower hand. You can do this to show your agreement or disagreement with something. Sharing desktop/application. You can use this to show learning has occurred, or to try out something new. After the Class is Over Participate in the test or survey. Instructors are always trying to improve their service, so learning what you liked or didn’t like about the class is critical to them. Stay in touch with the instructor for further reinforcement and with other students to tap into that learning pool. Also, look

Be sure to ask lots of questions if you are unclear about ANYTHING.

for follow-up classes available and how you can expand on what you’ve learned. As you see, you can jump into the virtual world and use it to your advantage. You just need to learn the ropes. Happy Learning!

Develop a Strong Organization Invest in Your Talent Compass Offers: TALENT MANAGEMENT  Assess your workforce & determine potential leaders.  Provide training for growth & leadership opportunities.  Clarify company expectations for leaders.

EXECUTIVE COACHING    

One-on-One support for future leaders Enhance performance, productivity & effectiveness Strengthen & expand talent Improve communication skills

LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT  Perform SWOT analysis on management team  Select members of your “A-Team” & recruit others  Customize programs for all to reach full potential

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT  Confirm core preferences (values) of workforce  Identify and address major conflicts of workforce  Stress importance of mutual respect and communication

RETIREMENT WORKSHOPS  Provides ERISA 404C requirements  Unbiased financial education, valued by employees. OUTPLACEMENT: We remain Experts in this industry of Change Management.

The winds of change bring opportunity.TM

(704) 849-2500 info@CompassCareer.com

www.CompassCareer.com

11 ®

Rita Miles: 12

A Woman Who Should Be Seen and Heard

by Cristina Cassidy

This Dynamic Entrepreneur Brings Glitter, Glamor and a Giving Heart to The Queen City

W

hen Rita Miles walks into a room, you can't help but notice.

She brings with her a certain charm and an exciting sense of style. For today's interview she's brought along her adorable little dog, Casey Chanel, along for moral support--not that she needs it. She sits down, smiles broadly, and when she laughs you know right away that this Woman With Know How is the real deal. As I sit across from this engaging woman, I notice her enormous brown eyes and long, thick brown hair that give her a distinctly European look. I wonder if she might be from Paris, Rome, or Madrid. What a surprise to discover that Rita Miles, owner of Miles Interiors and founder and co-owner of the Charlotte

Seen, is from a little town in Georgia. Rita was born in California, and moved to Chadsworth, Georgia, with her parents and older sister when she was seven years old. She spent the next several years growing up there. A Series of Jobs After graduating from high school, Rita worked at Chadworth's WQMT radio station. She was young and inexperienced, so they put her on the early morning shift. One day, a co-worker and she were bored and decided to make a prank call during the morning show. Their little stunt got her in a bit of trouble, and Rita soon decided that radio was not for her. After the radio station, she attended college for a short time, but didn't like 13 速

that either. According to Rita, "If it's not right, I don't do it." Next, she took a job at a Coca-Cola bottling company in nearby Dolton. She

“Every day is amazing, when you see it coming together, and you have amazing clients. Every design is different. It’s just inspirational.”

as a server. As Rita puts it, after she has broken a few plates they decided she would be better at planning and organizing events for the club, a job at which she excelled.

Making Her Luck Happen One day when Rita was at the club working, a striking woman walked in wearing a Chanel suit and looking very sophisticated. Rita asked a co-worker what the woman did for a living and was told she was an interior designer. didn't like the corporate world much, Rita says that right then and there she or the politics that went along with it. knew what she wanted to be. When she Rita says, "One day in the boardroom, was introduced to the interior designer, they asked me 'Rita, what do you think Sandra Walter, of Walter and Kyte Interof that?’ And I said, 'I think it's my last national, Rita said to her, "I don't care day!'" She called her mother and told what I get paid, but I want to work for her she was leaving town. "Where are you, and I think you are a fascinating you going?" her mother asked. Rita an- woman." Walter's response was immeswered confidently, "I think I'm going to diate. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow." Atlanta." And that's just what she did. Sandra Walter became Rita's mentor, In Atlanta, she got a job as a food broker and was responsible for inspiring Rita's for a well-known grocery store chain. love for interior design. She assisted Rita left that job after about a year when Sandra in re-doing the interior and exshe experienced sexual harassment isterior of Atlanta's famous Myer's Park sues, and decided to move on. Country Club, along with many other projects. Her next job was with an architectural firm in midtown Atlanta. Rita knew Rita kept working for the Peachtree right away this job was not for her so City Club while working for Sandra, and she quit. On her way home from the at the same time decided to go back office, she happened to stop by one of to college to get her business degree. Atlanta's prestigious private club. The Her parents weren't able to pay for assistant manager of the Peachtree her tuition, so Rita paid for it herself. City Club asked her if she was look"Two years after I graduated," says Rita ing for work, and hired her on the spot proudly, "I had paid it in full."

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One weekend, on a visit to see her folks in Chadsworth, Rita met a man who was to become her husband. They started dating and in 1996, got married, moved to Charlotte, and built a house together. Rita got a job working for a computer learning center, and launched Miles Interiors at the same time.

have been hard times. In 2008, she faced perhaps the most difficult moment of her life. She lost a great deal of money because of a failed venture. She never got paid for her work, and some of her clients lost money, too. Making it even tougher was the worsening econo-

In 2001,Rita and her husband realized that "the fit was not right," and decided to divorce. They remained friends. He moved to Greensboro, while Rita stayed in Charlotte, where she spent the next several years growing her business. Rita’s Business Blossoms Miles Interiors has developed into a full service interior design company that provides top quality design to residential and commercial clients. Rita and her team have designed private homes, restaurants, nightclubs, lounges, a hair salon, a retail store, and even a bowling alley. They also have designed homes all across the country, and even have a client as far away as Hong Kong. Running Miles Interiors is a labor of love for Rita. Her company motto--"A dream. An inspiration. A reality."--describes perfectly how Rita approaches her work. "Every day is amazing, when you see it coming together, and you have amazing clients. Every design is different. It's just inspirational." Hit by Hard Times As happy as Rita is, she admits there 15 Ž

my that put a direct crunch on many of her clients, and subsequently affected her business. Out of the Dark and Into the “Seen” She struggled to think of ways to improve her situation. One day, sitting in her office, she said to herself, "I'm

“If you’re just a hermit, and you stay in your office and wait for the telephone to call, it’s not going to call you. So get out there and be seen!”

Let me help you find your dream home

Maggie Redmond is your Real Estate Professional Call Maggie Today! 704.779.2992 cell maggie.redmond@allentate.com Go to www.MaggieRedmond.com to View My Featured Properties 16 ®

not being seen." That's when she met Pierre Rattini, a fellow entrepreneur who was adept at social media. She shared an idea with him about a way to help worthwhile charities to get "seen" and at the same time launch her own business. That's how Charlotte Seen, the city's premier red carpet events and promotion company, was born. Rita especially loves the red carpet events, and the way they transform people. As Rita describes it, "They stop on the red carpet, they pose and get their photograph taken, and they just have a blast! Once you step on the red

Rita is on the Board of the Charlotte Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation that hosts the Hope Gala. carpet, you have a new character of yourself." Charlotte Seen works with other business partners to help promote their clients. Charlotte's well-known "Style

Maven" T. Strong does interviewing for Charlotte Seen's red carpet events, Women with Know How's very own Kim Hughes, of 704events.com helps to get the word out ,and Bryan Paschal of Paschal Innovative Promotions helps put it all together. Her Personal Life Impacts on Professional Choices There is an even more personal motive behind the creation of Charlotte Seen. Rita is on the Board of the Charlotte Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation that hosts the Hope Gala, and is also

17 速

on the Committee for the American Heart Association's local Heart Ball. Her sister suffers from severe diabetes, and has lost a leg and half of a foot to

“When making a relationship connection, let the business know what you are going to do for them, and ask what they can do for you.” the disease. Her mother has had three heart stent procedures. Rita wants those charities to be "seen" so that a cure can be found for both diabetes and heart disease. Though her charity work is serious business, Rita laughingly describes herself as "not a fun hater. Life is just

18 ®

too short. Every day is new and fresh and you can make it what it is, you can make it bad, you can make it good... and for myself, I make it good." Rita takes this positive attitude into all areas of her life. Several years ago, she found love again, with Rob McDowell, who runs a local electrical company. "We were friends for a year-and-a-half and then an amazing relationship began, and it's been happy ever since." Rita enjoys offering practical advice to other women entrepreneurs. "When making a relationship connection, let the business know what you are going to do for them, and ask what they can do for you. It's a give and take. You can't just all take, and you can't just all give. But you have to be very clear and very black and white on what your

Rita and her team have designed private homes, restaurants, nightclubs, lounges, a hair salon, a retail store, and even a bowling alley.

Her advice on being seen is simple and to the point. "If you're just a hermit, and you stay in your office and wait for the telephone to call, it's not going to call you. So get out there and be seen!"

expectations are, so that there is no cloudiness about it." A Multi-Tasker Extraordinaire For many of us, running two businesses would be too much. But Rita seems to thrive on it. "You hit the ground running, and you think your job is over in interior design, and then Charlotte Seen kicks in. It's multi-tasking all day long." When asked where she gets her energy, Rita answers with her customary wit: "Why, chocolate covered expresso beans, of course!" She depends heavily on her Charlotte Seen business partner, Pierre Rattini and describes him as the social medial expert, while she is more about meeting people face-to-face and connecting. Sailing Towards the Future When I ask her how she looks to the future, Rita again catches me off guard. She gives me a serious look, pauses for a moment and then with a big smile says, "Well, with shades on because it is very bright!"

Debbie Winchester Designs earth e le me nts j ewe lr y

www.dwinchesterdesigns.com dwinchester@carolina.rr.com

704-607-0678

Check out our online store! www.womenwithknowhow.com 19 速

Cook Up a Passion for Community Service 20

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articipating in charitable service and volunteering locally not only benefits and strengthens your community, it can also strengthen your family ties. Volunteering is a great way for your family to get active, meet new people and spend quality time together – all while instilling the value of community involvement. If you’re not sure where to start, ask around. Neighbors, colleagues and friends may have great ideas – and many popular products have launched charitable partnerships that encourage community involvement. One example is The Glad Family of Products and its partnership with Cookies for Kids’ Cancer, a non-profit organization committed to raising money for pediatric cancer research through local bake sales. The partnership, which began in 2009, has grown into something bigger this year – inspiring and encouraging families to get involved, too. And now through June 30, families can share their own “Recipe for Giving” – a story, idea or example of how their family gives back with food – at gladtogive.com. Four lucky finalists will be chosen to receive $1,000 and a chance to compete in a Cookies for Kids’ Cancer fundraising event for a grand prize trip to the legendary island of Saint Lucia. So if you deliver a homemade pumpkin pie to the local fire station every Thanksgiving or host an annual charitable bake sale, Glad wants to hear from you. Also, starting in May, if you purchase specially-marked Glad products and enter a code online, the company will donate $1 to Cookies for Kids’ Cancer, up to $200,000.

Here are some other great ideas for cooking up a passion for community service in your family: Take inventory of your family’s special skills If you have an artist in the group, offer painting classes at a local senior center. If you have a musician, plan a charity concert. n Garage sales are plentiful in the spring and summer Swing by when things are winding down and offer to help transport unsold items to a local donation center. n Turn a family hike into a good deed Bring along plenty of trash bags and clean up a local park or trail. n Organize a group car wash In exchange for your car washing services, ask for a donation to a favorite local charity. Have cookies, lemonade and other treats on-hand to sell and boost your fundraising efforts. n Try a new twist on a traditional cookie exchange Have neighbors design a custom “cookies and cream” flavor with their own homemade cookies mixed in to ice cream. Swap flavors and then pack up the extras to share with an elderly neighbor. GladWare is perfect for mixing, transporting and freezing ice cream. n

Part of the fun of volunteering is coming up with an idea that’s perfect for your family. Use family dinner time to brainstorm ways to give back, getting everyone excited and engaged from the very beginning. For more ideas on community service activities that you can do with your family, visit www.GladtoGive.com 21 ®

Your Career

Mary Cantando, Growth Expert, The Women’s Advantage

Top 10 Productivity Tips Record a Dynamic Voicemail Recording

W

hen was the last time you actually listened to your own voicemail recording?

Most of us consider ourselves interesting, creative women, but that’s not how our voicemail sounds. I wonder how many thousands of times I’ve heard that the person I’m calling is “…out of the office or on another line, but your message is important…”  Well, if my mesINFO e E R O g a sage is important to you, M Advant man’s iz .b e g The Wo a t don’t bore me to death Advan omans 1 www.W (919) 841-040Owner.com with your email recording. siness omanBu

Mar y@W

There is no reason for anyone—with the possible exception of a funeral home—to have a mundane voicemail message. Get over it girls! Do us all a favor and create an interesting, upbeat voicemail recording. STOP everything and listen to your voicemail recording RIGHT NOW. If it’s 22 ®

as boring as I predict, use these steps to get it right!

1. Write a fun message/Show

your personality. People want to deal with those who are fun, not boring. Your voicemail recording can make you stand out from the crowd. My title is “Growth Expert.” I selected that because that’s how women business owners think of me.

2. Make it SHORT but

interesting. Don’t go on and on about where you are…unless you’re someplace interesting like Maui!

3. Use upbeat vocabulary.

Consider words like “great day,” “excited,” “just as FAST as I can.”

4. Stand up. This is an important

step. When you stand, your energy rises and you can project that through your voice.

5. Smile. This is equally important. I don’t know why or how it makes a difference, but I can tell you that it does. If you smile while you’re talking your voice comes across as bouncy and lighthearted.

6.

STOP everything and listen to your voicemail recording RIGHT NOW.

Record your message a little faster than you ordinarily speak. This is the reason you want to write your message out, so that you can just read it QUICKLY.

times to get it right, but it will be heard by hundreds of people for a long time, so do get it right!

7. Play it back. Listen for ways you can improve.

you and listen to your message and record…right then and there in a voicemail to you…their thoughts on it.

8. Re-record. It may take a few

10. Listen…and SMILE!

9. Ask a few friends to call

Karen Hund

Overture introduces you and your colleagues to potential clients using our acclaimed multimedia presentation. Many businesses, especially those in professional services, need more than a website and print collateral. The prospect has to meet you. Establishing personal chemistry is the key to cultivating a relationship, then earning a client’s business. “ We like to buy from people we like.” To find out more, call Karen Hund at 704.907.4376 or visit our website — www.cv-vision.com

23 ®

Young entrepreneur

Kimberly Hughes

Mastering the ‘C’ Word – Confidence

This Young Business Professional Offers Tips on How to Improve Your “C” Word

K

im Who? Hello, Women With Know How! You may remember me as the cover writer for the Women With Know How eMagazine. Well, I am reintroducing myself as Kim Hughes – columnist for Women With Know How! I look forward to bringing you some light-hearted yet thoughtprovoking content each month to help you take yet another step forward to O F N I being your best. MORE nts 704eve s.com 4event www.70 .281.4482 704 vents.com 4e kim@70

The ‘C’ Word...and It’s Not Cancer You wouldn’t know it, but my biggest struggle and what consistently holds me back is lack of confidence. It is troublesome because I have no right to be self-conscious. Not because I

24 ®

am entitled, but because there is no reason for anyone to not feel good about themselves. It is ridiculous how my lack of self confidence can be a predator on so many areas of my life: dating (more specifically, dating the wrong men), not being aggressive with sales, my communications with friends and family, over-reacting, over-analyzing, forgiving those who have hurt me, giving myself credit for achievements, trusting people, trusting myself... Care for me to continue?  You get the picture. Sticks and Stones...When We Let Words Hurt Us What is sad is that our lack of confidence can come from a single word or string of words, words taken

the wrong way, over-analyzing a situation, a look, or something within our own heads. Recently, my insecurities have hit Code Red because I am a new business owner in a completely maledominated world and somewhere along the line I adopted a “me against the world” mentality. I have let people’s perceptions, whether real or imagined, get the best of my self esteem,from not looking good enough, to being too ‘green’ in business. A woman recently said something negative about me in front of over 20 successful business professionals. The statement--“I am not sure why anyone should listen to what you say. You probably don’t know anything about business”--immediately took me back to a place of disconnect and borderline shame. I was surprised to learn later that the woman considered me her “competition,” and that was the reason for her cynical comment. So let me get this straight…When someone is self-conscious about their own business and stability, it is necessary for them to make someone else feel self-conscious? To make someone look bad, you in turn, have to make yourself look bad? Even though I rationalized this situation and ultimately felt sorry for her, I took her attack personally.

Looking back, I smile because that Kimberly Kristin Hughes of then, is not the Kimberly Kristin Hughes of now. I am progressing through my life journey and appreciating how much I evolve day to day. Though, I still take things personally, I have grown within myself and I know that people will always try to break me due to their own motives, but I have the power and the confidence to not let their words affect me negatively, only to empower me and strengthen me. Real Talk This is what it comes down to. At the end of the day, we individually create our own destiny. We create our happiness, thoughts, attitudes, and opportunities. We might want to blame everything on someone else because it is easier to do that, but life isn’t always easy. Self-confidence isn’t something that anyone can give you or compliment you enough to have. You have to garner it on your own. Whether someone near and dear to your heart hurts you or someone you don’t know, you have to have the confidence to shake it off and move on. How to Rock Your Confidence! As I continue to cement this concept within myself, I have found a few tried and tested ways to start and continue the process. They work for me and hopefully will be equally beneficial for you! 25 ®

 top judging other people. S Just stop. Judging others means that you are only judging yourself by trying to tear someone apart so you can make yourself feel better. If being a “Chatty Cathy” and trying to destroy someone to make yourself feel better isn’t in Webster’s Dictionary under “self-consciousness,” then the editors need to look at their editing practices. n Take a good look at you.Really--take a look at yourself. When you get into the bathroom in the morning, look n

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at yourself in the mirror while your eyes can barely be pried open with a crow bar, you are makeup-less, and your hair resembles at rat’s nest. Smile and tell yourself five things that you love about yourself and MEAN IT! Once you are ready for the day and are “beautified,” tell yourself five more things (no repeating) that you love about yourself and again, MEAN IT! It’s not being cocky, it is about bringing to light what others see in us that we don’t always acknowledge. If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect to love

anyone else or allow anyone to love you? n Write out your insecurities and problems. You will be amazed at the conclusions that you will come to and no, you don’t have to be a writer to do this. Don’t think about what you’re writing, don’t judge yourself; just let the pen and paper do the speaking that your heart cannot. Don’t think about what you are writing because otherwise your mind will filter out what your heart wants to say.

n

 hen someone gives you a W compliment – TAKE IT! Embrace it, say thank you with conviction, and remember it. We all know that criticism can come a lot more freely than compliments. Don’t think that there is an ulterior motive behind the compliment, just be grateful for it. Reflect on a compliment when you get down. I have a folder in my Outlook entitled “Compliments” and inside, it hosts emails from people who have said something that brightened my day and made me feel good. I look at it every time I need a boost of positivity.

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Personal Forecast

Marcie Williams-Browning

June is the Time for Activity

O

ver the coming year I will of the new moon which is considered share with you areas of focus the magical day for wishes to be exfor each month. As you create pressed. your plan for success and work that n Motion.This is the time to plan these suggestions will give you a concentrate positively on clear focus for the month. Write down automobiles and mechanics. June your goals, dreams and aspirations and is the perfect time to take a short look at them often. Writing them down trip. Focus on your transportation brings them into the physical world in a positive way and address any and makes them tangible and real. challenges with mechanical items. As you consider areas on which Use motion this month to tame to focus your attention this FO N I E your restless energy. Allow motion month be sure to look at each MOR pnosis Center lis Hy m a o s y .c r iz h B C or movement to be a voice for your area from your mental and ySpirit 2 indBod www.M 803.493.033 excitement. emotional state, your physical well-being, your spiritual needs n Learning. June is all about information. Discover new things about your as well as your financial ones. world and your community through all media sources including the The color for the month of June is news, print and the internet. This green and the theme is “I find claris a great month for satisfying your ity in motion.” It is the time to look to curiosity by educating yourself. It is the future with positive thoughts and also the perfect time to explore forobjective eyes. Some of the areas to mal education of any kind.Commuconsider are listed below. The best nication. This is the month to really day in June to write down your desires understand how other people think and wishes is the 12th. This is the day 28 ®

It is the time to look to the future with positive thoughts and objective eyes.

by listening effectively. Be clear and concise in your communication especially in writing and speaking. Teach through effective communication both verbal and nonverbal. Seek to fully understand all communication in each of its forms this month. n Logic. Remember, this month, that an important piece of our logic is the awareness of our options. Be clever in your pursuit of success. Concentrate on short-term results with the long-term goals in mind. Incorporate ingenuity and variety in your journey toward manifestation. n Social Skills. Tact is required this month in all social situations. Acceptance is our greatest tool in any social situation as it is in life in general. Use the tool of wittiness and quick thinking in social environments. Be in the moment and enjoy being present in the moment this month. n Close Relationships. It is important to recognize and honor those close to you. Embrace and strive to understand family, neighbors, peers and roommates. This month is all about our relationships of proximity

and cultivating those relationships through acceptance and ingenuity. n Release “Over Thinking”. This is the time to notice excessive questioning, twisting or trickery with words, indecision, nervousness and superficiality. This is the month to get “out of your head and into your body.” As you create and work your plan this month take a look at yourself with objective eyes and include those areas where you need some work and celebrate the areas where you have done well. Life is a journey and one we are meant to learn and teach from. Every single experience we have we are learning through and teaching from. Learn well and live in joy!

June affirmation: As I move my body I find clarity in motion.

Dr. Kandyce Thomas

Chiropractor T: 704.543.5508 F: 704.543.5509 www.thomasfamilychiro.net

10440 Park Road Suite 200 Charlotte, NC 28210

29 ®

Professional Spotlight

Cristina Cassidy

Marcie Williams-Browning

What is hypnosis, and why is it helpful in assisting people change their lives?

H

ypnosis is a relaxed state of mind in which the mind is open and receptive to suggestions or directions. We spend time in hypnosis everyday without realizing it. Many people have driven to their place of employment and after arriving asked themselves if they stopped at the stop sign or how they even got there. We also go through our daily shower and then have to stop and ask ourselves if we washed our face or hair. These actions are so familiar that the mind doesn’t need to concentrate on them and we are able to do them automatically. This is hypnosis. The mind is able to relax and it is highly susceptible to suggestions during this time. In formal hypnosis we relax the mind and the body, so that the subconscious mind can be fully present to receive and accept suggestions and direction regarding the change that you desire to make. You then follow through with daily actions

30 ÂŽ

to reinforce these suggestions and directions and the change you desire happens quickly and efficiently. What sorts of issues do your clients bring to you? Many times you decide to make a change and are able to do that on your own with will power and determination. It is those changes that you find you are unable to accomplish on your own that hypnosis can help. We are simply helping you reframe how you think and feel about this change so that you can move through it easier and quicker. Some of the challenges that hypnosis helps with are weight loss, smoking cessation, performance challenges like public speaking, test taking, sports and sales, sleep challenges – when it is has been properly established that it is not a physical or medical problem, trauma or highly emotional events that are difficult

to move beyond. It also works well with events that happened in childhood but are challenging you in a negative way as an adult. Some clients just feel stuck or blocked and we are able to help them move through the blockage. Anything that is emotionally based works well with hypnosis because emotions are stored in the same place in the mind as the memories. Hypnosis works with that part of the mind. Your center, the Chrysalis Hypnosis Center, has a wide range of services. Tell us a little about what kinds of services you offer. We offer individual hypnosis sessions including regression sessions, spiritual counseling sessions, do-at-home programs which include eBooks and audio hypnosis files, meditation and hypnosis audio files for specific challenges, customized hypnosis

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31 ÂŽ

audio files and coming soon we will offer energy analysis through Kirlian Photography and computer generated pictures of your body’s energy field. You mention on your website that you have had to overcome difficulties. Did these difficulties lead you to do the work you do? I went through a particularly difficult time in my life and did the traditional counseling. The counseling helped me talk through a lot of the challenges but I still felt stuck or blocked when trying to move forward. A friend suggested that I try a hypnotist to release some of the residual emotions associated with challenging time. I took my friend’s advice and the experience was life changing for me.

Everything on, in and around our planet has an effect on our environment and on us. As I was contemplating leaving my corporate job I knew that I wanted to do something that would help people feel better about themselves and circled back to that experience for me and how much it changed my life. I firmly believe and KNOW that everything in our world starts in our mind so it was simple logic to incorporate this wonderful modality that allows us to 32 ®

change our mind in such a profound and expedient way. You also mention that you are an intuitive. What does this mean, and how old were you when you realized you possessed special gifts? I use the term intuitive but most people would call it psychic. I use that term purposefully because to me we are all intuitive and we choose whether or not we develop that skill. Being intuitive, to me, is a very spiritual gift and responsibility. I was very young when I realized that I knew things about people that no one else seemed to know. I chose to close off that part of me for many years and then realized that it is a large part of me and that I could help people through accepting and acknowledging my gift. One of my goals in life is to help people learn to listen to their own gift of intuition. You are an amazingly positive person. How do you maintain that positive approach to life? Being positive truly is my nature, however, I do have my moments of doubt and fear. I purposefully surround myself with people who are not only positive but who will help me when I am not feeling positive about my world. I count on them as much as they count on me. What is your reaction to phrases such as “I can’t,” “I should have,” “he made me do it”? These reactions are patterns that people have established in their minds and

they can really be automatic reactions. It takes some work and awareness to move out of these patterns. One of the tools that I teach my clients is a way to break free of those old patterns. I also teach them how to establish a new and better pattern. Hypnosis helps to anchor and then reinforce the new pattern. You are a regular contributor to the WWKH eMagazine. I notice that in your articles you talk about each month in very specific ways. Can you tell us what makes each month special, from a metaphysical standpoint? My information comes from a variety of sources including astrology, numerology, colors and their meanings and using the planetary movements and energy to maximize results. Everything on, in and around our planet has an effect on our environment and on us. We tend to go against the flow and I am simply giving you tools to work with those sources to capitalize on that energy. Your Center’s motto is “We Help You Change Your Mind.” Tell us about the body, mind, spirit connection that is such an important ingredient of the work you do. Our human mind likes to separate everything and we try to separate body, mind and spirit when in reality they cannot be separated. Everything in our world begins as a thought. I use the example of my desk in my office. Someone created that desk in their mind,

Hypnosis helps to anchor and then reinforce the new pattern. then drew it on paper or in a computer and then it was physically created from wood. The same is true with everything else in our world including our negative habits. It starts as a thought which we accept as truth or ignore. It will then show up as an emotion which we accept or ignore. Finally, it will show up in the body in a way that we can no longer ignore like pain, illness or dis-ease. Each facet of us is interrelated and they all function beautifully together especially when we let them work in harmony and recognize that each part of us is simply giving us messages that we need to hear. Tell us something about yourself that very few people know. As a military wife many years ago, I was able to tour Her Majesty’s Ship the Britannia and was given a gift from the officer giving the tour. I have kept that gift for many years because I knew it was not the customary gift to visitors and that it was something special just for me. What is the most gratifying aspect of the work you do? The “Aha” moment for clients when they realize they really have changed their mind and are able to change their life. 33 ®

Relationships

Mary Elizabeth Murphy, Managing Director of S.T.A.R. Resources

Listening Button

D

ear Mary Elizabeth, I have been told that I am not a good listener. It is just so difficult to listen when I have so many other things on my mind. This is a skill that is integral to my job, and I want to get better at it. How do you RESET Your Buttons and become a better Listener? Sincerely, What’s That You Said? INFO MOREResources

. S.T.A.R 5.5610 4 0 7 .53 sources.biz e rr ta s info@

Dear What’s That,

Good listening skills are not only integral to your job, but to your life and interaction with friends and family members as well. In order to communicate well with others, you must hear what they want and need and respond in an appropriate fashion. Poor communication is a learned trait, and can

34 ®

be unlearned in favor of listening and responding well to others. Though it may sound contrary to talk while you’re listening, one of the best listening skills one can adapt is to ask good questions. When you ask pertinent questions, you not only convey understanding of the other person’s concern, but you also ensure your own interest in their answers by asking for information that you want and need. Establish with your questions that you have been listening to details from earlier in the conversation and that you want to know more about the situation, whether in its entirety or only certain aspects. Here is a list of more ways to RESET Your Buttons and become a better listener:  ant to listen                                                   W n Listen to understand n

 espond and acknowledge R n Stop talking n Empathize with people n Concentrate n Look at the person n Smile appropriately n Get rid of distractions n Get the main points n Share responsibility n React to ideas, not people n Don’t argue mentally n Don’t antagonize n Avoid hasty judgments

Good listening skills are not only integral to your job, but to your life and interaction with friends and family members as well

n

Action suggestions – print this list and keep it in view. Every day choose 3 listening skills that you want to mas-

ter. You will have RESET Your Buttons when listening when your conversations become more engaging for all parties involved, when fewer errors and misunderstandings occur, and when fewer repetitions are needed. Listening is a great way to improve and increase your relationships. Which 3 listening skills will you focus on today?

Life is full of foggy roads. We help you find your way to where you want to go.

TM

Clarity ♦ Organization ♦ Accountability ♦ Support

35 ®

Phone: (704) 543-1564

|

www.CoachU2Lead.com

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Email: info@CoachU2Lead.com

Legal issues

Mitzi Kincaid, Attorney at Law

What’s in a Name? A Lawyer Explains Trademarks and the Importance of Registration

C

ongratulations Mimi, on your recent federal registration of your trademark name, Women with Know How! Clients ask me every day about trademarks and how they get them, so I thought I would explain some basics to familiarize you with the trademark process. Each month I will answer a reader or client question so that our entire business community can benefit from quality information to help your business become the best it can be and NFO I E R maintain its profitability. MO LLC

tes, Associa d n a id th Floor Kinca gh Dr. 4262 u o ll u C 301 Mcarlotte, NC 28 Ch 1 35-597 (866)-4

A trademark is a word, phrase, symbol or design, or a combination of words, phrases, symbols or designs, that identifies and distinguishes the source of the goods of one party from those of others.

36 ®

Coca Cola®, “Just Do It®” and Dunkin’ Doughnuts® are a few examples of famous trademarks. A service mark is the same as a trademark, except that it identifies and distinguishes the source of a service rather than a product. BellSouth®, Roto Rooter® and Terminix® are some examples of service marks. For the purpose of this article, trademarks and service marks are going to be referred to as trademarks because they are obtained in the same manner through the United States Patent and Trade Office (USPTO). Protect Yourself and Your Business Name If you think of a catchy name (not merely a descriptive one) for your business or a catchy phrase for your products or services, you can claim the name or phrase without registering the mark with the USPTO but beware, like all things in life you get what you pay for. If you simply

A trademark is a word, phrase, symbol or design, or a combination of words, phrases, symbols or designs, that identifies and distinguishes the source of the goods of one party from those of others. use the name and do not register your name or phrase or check to see if your name or phrase infringes on someone else’s name or phrase you could be in for legal trouble down the road. Registering your name, phrase or logo provides notice to the public of your claim of ownership of the mark; a legal presumption of your ownership of the mark and your exclusive right to use the mark nationwide on or in connection with the goods and/ or services listed in the registration. You do not have to be an attorney to file and register a trademark but it is best to use an experienced attorney because the USPTO uses strict guidelines and a language all their own that is difficult to understand if you are not an intellectual property attorney.

A Trademark is Something You Own Registration of your mark usually takes six to nine months. It is also possible to file for a trademark before you actually start selling your goods and services to ensure you protect your name, phrase or logo. Once you receive your registration certificate you can renew your mark by periodically filing statements of use with the USPTO. Trademarks are actually intangible property that you own, can transfer, assign and sell. Once you own the trademark you can usually prohibit your competitors from getting a similar mark for similar goods and/ or services which can give your business a tremendous advantage.

Trademarks are actually intangible property that you own, can transfer, assign and sell.

Have you registered your business name, catch phrase or logo yet? Call an experienced intellectual property attorney today to protect your most important asset, your name. Do you have a business legal question you would like for me to answer? Submit it to mkincaid@ kincaidandassociates.com. I will choose a new topic each month to discuss. 37 ÂŽ

Summer is Around the 38

Corner‌.

W

atching all the commercials about the suave products that leave your hair silky, strong, vibrant and manageable like the celebrities can make you feel like – I can do that. Yes you can! Looks carry a price and celebrity looks are even pricier. Do not be fooled that these products alone can give the ultimate look and hair care that professionals study and hone their skills to provide. We leaped from winter to summer for a few days recently. Hair reacts to weather just as our skin does. Knowing how and when to condition, strip hair of residue buildup, and protect strands and follicles from the elements is important. An immediate difference can be felt from shampoo to styling with professional products.

Alan Daniels Salon is proud to carry products that are eco-friendly and not tested on any animals. To complement our products and concern for the environment, we are converting our lighting system to an eco-efficient one. The interior lighting will offer a softer, relaxing atmosphere while allowing you to see the immediate results of your color and highlights. Our guests are invaluable and we continue to look at ways to improve service and care. Please stop by and see our new salon, enjoy a light fare, libation and meet our professional team. Call Alan Daniels Salon and speak with a professional stylist today.

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39 ®

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Currents PRIDE May-June 2009

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with Al Gardner and Stacey Simms and Health Headlines: The Show, both heard on NewsTalk 1110 WBT. Stacey started

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Kroghie Andresen has enjoyed hunting “Having worked with her on the anchor desk, I always knew Stacey could deliver the and the outdoors since his early teens in news. Now she’s delivered a wonderful book of recipes. This book will not only make eastern North Carolina. His waterfowl yourexperiences stomachbegan happy; it’ll he help hunting when shotyour heart, since all the profits go to help the millions of two lesser scaupjuvenile from a stake blind in the kids with diabetes.” mouth of Bath Creek at the age of fifteen. sinceJeff thenGlor his passion for hunting has The Show National Correspondent, CBS News grown andEarly flourished.

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George Winston Welcomes Spring in Davidson

Entertainment Tips from Area Event Planning Professionals

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Kroghie worked as a banker for First union National Bank, now Wachovia, for thirty“This threeis years before retiring inI’ve 2004. the first cookbook seen in all my years of reading them like novels (and Though his work had no connection with writing a few myself) that is for everybody, Stacey delivers a delightful, entertaining, hunting, he continued to pursue his hobby and useful recipes during spare timerepertoire away from of work. Whilein the same wonderful manner she gives us ‘news livingwe in can raleigh ineach 1979, morning.” his wife ross, use’ bought him his first decoy to decorate Barbara McKay their new den. This started a collection Media Personality that has grown into over 1,100 North Carolina decoys. An early decision to limit his collection to Back Bay, Virginia, “Stacey has been a long and North Carolina decoys led to time a veryadvocate for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. specialized Kroghie tried Whencollection. her two year old always son was diagnosed, she immediately went from advocate to fully to document the history and provenance of committed volunteer. She is not willing to accept that her son and millions of others may his decoys. The lack of information on many have to live the rest of their lives with diabetes. Thank you, Stacey for all that you do to North Carolina decoys led him to research manyhelp previously carvers asthe welllives of so many.” find aunidentified cure and improve as those that are well known. This research Patrick and thirty yearsMcFeeley of collecting decoys have JDRF International Board Member culminated with this book. Kroghie received a B.s. degree in Civil Engineering from The Citadel in 1966 and an MBA from East Carolina university in 1971. He and his wife currently reside in Charlotte, N.C. They have two grown children, Clark and Hailey.

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