> SAYING GOODBYE TO OU’S BEST QUARTER
GEEKS TAKE THE STAGE THE ALUM BEHIND IMGUR +16 SWEET PHOTOS
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The Last Spring –
I’m sure every year at Ohio University has felt like something huge and something special since Manassah Cutler wrestled a bobcat for the land rights to Athens back in 1804 (that’s how the university was founded, right?).
Now that nearly half the Backdrop staff and I are graduating, however, I’m tempted to look back on the 2011-2012 school year in reflection. There really was something about this past year; something large. Something that made it seem like Ohio University and Athens were larger entities than their humble Appalachian locations suggest. The rest of the world had its eye on us this year.
We began the year with the Princeton Review top party school ranking, which while being a wildly unscientific ranking, and also somewhat of a dubious distinction, brought our little university all kinds of attention. Then YouTube found out what we’ve always known: that the Marching 110 kicks ass, when their performance of LMFAO’s “Party Rock Anthem” went viral. The football team followed with a viral video of their own with footage of the players reacting rather exuberantly to their new black jerseys. That same team, of course, would go on to win the first bowl game in school history.
The student organization STARS created the “We Are a Culture, Not a Costume” campaign, which spread like wildfire before Halloween. Halloween, itself was, well…still Halloween. The men’s basketball team danced into late March, displaying the word “OHIO” on T.V. screens across the country (PAGE XX). And perhaps, most impressively (to me, at least), the story of OU senior Kevin Lenahan’s dorm room hot tub reached Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update desk. At this point, I’m half-suspecting Warner Brothers to announce Athens as a last-minute shooting location for The Dark Knight Rises, or for the Obamas to adopt a bobcat as a pet. It’s just been that kind of year, and “special” or not, we’ve been delighted to share it with you.
And still, one of the biggest events of 2012 (to the Ohio University community, at least) is yet to come. I speak, of course, of the quarters to semesters shift. We’ve decided to bring you a feature giving you everything you need to prepare for the shift but also eulogizing the “last spring” we will share. Obviously the meteorological phenomenon known as “spring” isn’t going anywhere (although it did seem to show up at very random times this year) but the spiritual rite of passage that greets every student upon Syllabus Day of Spring Quarter will be gone.
The switch may be a necessary one, and I’m sure enterprising young Bobcats will make the best of the new system for years to come but for right now let’s say goodbye to an old friend and toast to the end of an era. Backdrop will still be here when the next one begins.
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
Alec Bojalad
MANAGING EDITOR
Douglas Bair
ASSISTANT MANAGING EDITOR
Alex Lubetkin
ASSOCIATE EDITORS
Gina Edwards & Kim Amedro
JUNIOR ASSOCIATE
Shannon Miranda
ASSISTANT EDITOR
Daniella Limoli
COPY EDITOR
Tessa Dufresne
ASSISTANT COPY EDITOR
Kelsi Bowes
CREATIVE DIRECTOR
Brittany Thomas
DESIGN DIRECTOR
Rohan Kusre
ASSISTANT DESIGN DIRECTOR
Skye Gould
DESIGN TEAM
Morgan Decker, Gina Keane, Emilee Kraus, Alexander Martinez, Chelsea O’Donnell, Olivia Reaney, Cassandra Sharpe, Jessie Shokler, Katherine Smidansky
PHOTO EDITOR
Loren Cellentani
ASSISTANT PHOTO EDITOR
Amanda Puckett
CONTRIBUTORS
Loren Cellentani, Kate
Alexander, Spencer Hoffman, Kasey Brooks, Meghan
Shamblen, Susannah Kay, Stephen Turville, Pat Dunn, Amanda Puckett, Joel Hawksley, Jessica Woods
atmosphere of a Wild West opera house can be found just down the
You’ve seen it on t-shirts, Facebook statuses and Twitter updates alike: because of semesters, spring quarter will never grace Athens again.
Dean Drain
Deans have been leaving the university at a record pace. What is it that is driving them away?
Alec Bojalad
CONTRIBUTORS
Nick Harley, Katie Mefferd, Melissa Thompson, Hannah Croft, Morgan Decker, Alex Lubetkin, Gina Edwards, Kelsi Bowes, Margaret McGinley, Kerry Crump,
Stephanie Stark, Sara Portwood, Lauren McGrath, Shannon Miranda, Casey Weinfurtner
PUBLISHER
Alexander Menrisky
BUSINESS DIRECTOR
Katie Mefferd
ADVERTISING DIRECTOR
Molly Schneider
ADVERTISING ASSISTANT
Jared Looman
MARKETING CO-CHAIRS
Brenda Evans & Lauren McGrath
EVENTS DIRECTOR
Hannah Croft
PR/SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR
Bethany Cook
MARKETING TEAM
BACKDROP
RELEASE PARTY RELEASE PARTY
THURSDAY, MAY 17 AT JBAR // 10 P.M. -2 A.M. featuring bustedBASS as Part
8 H4T » “I was not entirely sure that this was a serious thing.”
Keep it real with these down-toEarth dreamboats.
10 Cribs » Big and Small Check out both the big and small sides of Athens’ homes.
34 Recipe » Lovely Day for a Picnic
Snack outside the basket: a fresh take on summer favorites.
Mud, Sweat and Tears 30
Through the Grape Vine THE DROP » 12
Located a stone’s throw away from OU, Neil Dix’s livelihood is a labor of love for both bricks and booze.
The Bobcat Behind ImGur 18
One former Bobcat sits atop one of the web’s most popular image sharing networks. ENTERTAINMENT »
14 Keeping It Cool
Kelsi Bowes, Ashley Ferrell, Angela Ignasky, Shannon Miranda, Cameron Scheetz, Molly Schneider, Rose Troyer
WEB EDITOR
Ryan Joseph
ASSISTANT WEB EDITORS
Shannon Miranda & Sandie Young
WEB COPY EDITOR
Tasha Webber
WEB PHOTO EDITOR
Kate Alexander
MEMBERSHIP & DISTRIBUTION DIRECTOR
Kyrstin Ratliff
VIDEO EDITOR
Cynthia Robinson
VIDEOGRAPHERS
Chris Longo
Sara Portwood
It’s an open party: several Cool Kidds bring excitement to the masses.
16 Vampire Cowboy Project
Two OU theater grads return to put on one hell of a show.
SPORTS »
36
Coach
The man in the dugout hangs up his cleats.
46 On the Web » Going the Distance Kendall’s preparation for her first half marathon means making sacrifices— including alcohol.
47 For Fun » Quiz
How closely did you read; Take our quiz to find out!
48 Exhibit A » Backdrop’s very own art gallery.
50 RR&R » Two Wheels of Rage
One Backdropper wants to ride in peace—and he doesn’t mean on his motorcycle.
“I
WAS NOT ENTIRELY SURE THAT
THIS WAS A SERIOUS THING.”
These OU Professors had no idea they were spicing up their students’ Spring Quarter.
BY MAGGIE MCGINLEY PHOTOS BY AMANDA PUCKETT
Dr. Brandon Kendhammer
Assistant Professor of Political Science in Political Science Department
If you won the lottery, what would you do with the money?
I’ve actually thought about this specifically. I would donate it to the Northwestern University Library program so they can digitize every newspaper they have in their collection on Africa because it would make my research a lot easier. I promised the guy there that if that ever happened that’s what I would do.
What are some of your guilty pleasures?
I read a lot of science fiction novels. That doesn’t really make me feel guilty, I suppose, but it’s not “high class” necessarily. I do occasionally drink very cheap beer. I’ve been known to be at the Casa Cantina with a bottle Miller High Life. I suppose that makes me feel a little bit guilty.
Were you aware you were considered a hot teacher?
No, I thought this was all a little goofy. My wife thought it was very funny. I was not entirely sure that this was a serious thing.
If you were stuck on an island with one person, who would it be?
That’s really interesting. I suppose, in the short term, there’s a lot of people that I’ve never had the chance to meet that I’d love to talk to for a couple weeks uninterrupted. I think a president of any African country would be really interesting to talk to. But in the long run, I suppose my wife.
What is your favorite ice cream?
The salted caramel ice cream that they have at Jeni’s in Columbus that you can get here at Fluff.
If you could be any one person, dead or alive, for one day, who would it be?
In practice, as a Green Bay Packers fan, I would have loved to have been Brett Favre for, like, one day while he was deciding whether to retire or not. That would’ve been wild.
Have you ever had the chicken pox?
I have. I was eight and it’s actually sort of a funny story. My parents and my little sister and I were on a cruise ship and I came down with the chicken pox the day we were supposed to get off the cruise ship. We didn’t want to get quarantined on the cruise ship because when you have a communicable disease on the ocean it’s somewhat of a problem. So my parents covered me up in really long sleeves and put a blanket over me and we went off the ship hoping that no one would notice that I had spots all over.
Dr. Michelle O’Malley
Assistant Professor in the Linguistics Department
What are some of your guilty pleasures?
Junk food, show tunes and mountain bike rides in the middle of the day when I should be at work.
What was the first concert you ever attended?
A Grateful Dead show. I’m not an original Dead Head, they got me by 20 years. But my first car was a ’73 Super Beetle, and I had owned it for like a month when the Dead came to D.C., so we decided it was a great road trip for the new car.
How do you cure a hangover?
A big glass of orange juice first, and then coffee.
Who is your favorite superhero?
Cat Woman, I just like the way she looks. And I’m partial to cats, big cats.
Were you aware you were a hot teacher?
No, and honestly after you reach a certain age you stop, I think, working for that. I don’t want to embarrass my children and it’s okay if people find me “aesthetically pleasing” but “hot” never really enters the vocabulary.
How many times a day do you brush your teeth?
Three, at least. I like dental hygiene.
When you’re not teaching, what is your favorite pastime?
I generally like to be on my mountain bike, just alone. Or, at home, rearranging furniture. I love that, much to my husband’s chagrin. It seems strange, but I really enjoy that, working on the house, mowing the grass, riding my bike.
25 S COURT STREET
Jewelry, accessories, leather, candles, toys, pottery, soaps & lotions, speciality foods, & more
MICHELLE O’MALLEY
BIG
and small
BY CASEY WEINFURTNER PHOTOS BY JESSICA WOODS
Athens features homes of all shapes and sizes, so for this installment of Cribs we found two houses from different sides of the size spectrum.
Le Big Mansion
One of Athens’ unique historical sites also happens to be one of the littlest places to live within city limits. But the Littlest House, located on 89 Mill Street, isn’t really much of a house at all. Built in 1927, the “house” originally was a barbershop that by the 1950s had later become a concession stand for football games. Today, the Littlest House rests snug beside its partnered home that is rented by students. With no plumbing or inside furnishings, the Littlest House’s primary use is only storage. Although the Littlest House may be considered a landmark, Brad Wright, a resident of 89 Mill, explains that the one-roomed house is rather simple without extravagant features. Most attention can be drawn to a famous sign above the door reading “The Littlest House,” printed in green paint. A hidden secret lies atop the house where not many have visited: those able to reach the top will see a look into the past, with the scribbled names of select visitors who made it there before them.
One of Athens most luxurious homes can be found on 35 Grosvenor. Though this home may have been first built in 1937, its older features are intertwined with a modern twist. Ohio University student Bridget Mallon and her roommates have added their own character to the house by emphasizing the rustic elements with an artsy decor. The most commonly used room is showcased by its variation of pictures upon the wall, ranging from roommate photographs to extravegent women cradling glasses of wine. Furnishing throughout the living area includes one of the resident’s favorite chairs, a flowered patterned that lies in contrast to the neutral colored couches. Bridget and her roommates take turns moving chairs at the blue clothed dining table from the living space to a small windowed room that overlooks their backyard. The open backyard
can certainly be one of the greatest aspects to the home overall. Not only is another small apartment available above their garage, but also a patio that includes a sitting area and large fireplace. Especially during the warm months, Bridget and her roommates take full advantage of the beautiful features by welcoming friends to enjoy their home.
Le Petite House
le backyard
THROUGH THE GRAPE VINE
How one Athens resident took his green thumb and made red wine.
Neal Dix is a community man. He believes in the Farmers Market, Village Bakery and the Pawpaw Festival. He believes in good friends and good drink, especially house-brewed wines. He believes above all in Athens County and the hills of Southeast Ohio. He specifically chose the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains when he began planting his elderberries—vines that would later grow to house Shade Winery.
Dix has been “a gardener all [his] life.” He started a garden while he was in college, grew and sold produce at the farmers market and continued to hone his green thumb all the years in between. One of his favorite parts of
his job is still the fieldwork, what he describes as getting to know his plants, learning the feel of his vines and treating them according to their unique form. He finds solace in what he calls the “zen of repetition,” and his winery is the perfect place to put that process into practice.
“I was trying to make fine wines,” Dix says. “I was trying to make something drinkable.”
Dix and his wife, Oui, opened Shade Winery to the public September 2010 after breaking ground for the lodge-style cabin in July 2009.
The couple officially established the winery in July 2004 and began selling the wine in 2005.
Dix’s decades-long passion for brewing beers and making wines sprouted into a professional
interest about 2000 after repeated urging by friends who shared Dix’s creations.
Customers now flock to the picturesque little winery, nestled in a verdant hollow in the woods off U.S. Route 33. Spectacular vineyards, a rolling pasture and a serene pond are the scenery that greet eyes as they gaze out the windows of the log-cabin style winery.
“The culture, the geography, I’ve just always loved it,” Dix says.
He especially enjoys that his wines have become a part of the Athens culture that he’s always praised, and is happy to bring customers from all over Southeast Ohio to his winery.
Dix runs his winery under the philosophy of casual, laid-back drinking. He refuses to install a television in the building’s lobby in order to retain what he sees as the winery’s beneficial atmosphere of casual conversation and the occasional live performance.
Dix prefers the word around town to SportsCenter and news networks— the winery is a place for fostering the community, he says. People can watch television back at the Athens bars.
The winery offers a tasting of 12 wines made at the winery, ranging from dry to sweet and white to red, in which customers sample small glasses of each flavor. Dix and his wife also showcase several other house wines not included in the sample, such as an elderberry and ginseng blend, as well as olive samplers, salmon plates and cheeses made locally at Integration Acres. While friends and family consistently help with chores around the winery, Dix and his wife solely staff the serving.
“It’s so much more personal to get served by the people who make the wine,” Dix says.
He stresses also that the best part of his job is the conversation—and friends— he makes with the customers who come to drink his wine.
“I really like serving and interacting with everyone here,” he says. “People just come to have a good time. People thank us when they leave—how cool is that?”
For a man who chose Athens County for his winery because of the culture, bringing together people from all ends of the area is the biggest payoff.
Dix invites his customers not only to
try the cheeses, but also to bring any food they wish. He recalls several of his customers having held potlucks, brown bagging their dinners to evening wine tastings or bottle sharings. Dix recommends the Vidal Blanc, his personal favorite of his creations. He admits that not all of his wines are made from grapes grown on his own grounds. Such a feat would be an impossible task for him and his wife alone. The couple orders grapes for some of their wines and grows others—their two entirely home-produced wines are the Elderberry and the Estate Grown.
Dix decided what wines he wanted to make by traveling to conferences across the country, attending tastings and chatting with others in the profession.
After a while, he figured out what he liked best and made his own.
But the creative process doesn’t stop at the wines themselves. Dix also envisioned his brand’s rustic label. He had the idea for a pastoral scene—including an image of his trusty old car—rendered by an illustrator friend. After he received the drawing, he had it formatted by a designer, chose an attractive font and designed a miniature Shade Winery crest. The result was a professional label his customers recognize on sight. Dix created several variations for his Estate Grown. The labels depict scenes of Athens County’s finest hills, an image of Dix’s own beat-up old car (now the front image of his social media outreach) and
renderings of the garden’s grapes. All the images, Dix felt, painted a sentimental composite picture of beloved Athens.
The process of designing a label, however, was a generally one-time deal. Dix finds himself coming up with names for his new wines on a far more regular basis.
“They just come to me,” Dix says. “I play around with different names and before you know it.”
Some people have suggested names, others are Dix’s originals. From the Cricket Legs Concord to the Bobcat Blush, a colorful palette of word imagery is applied to the dry, sweet and crisp flavors of his wines.
Shade Winery was inspired not just by Dix’s love of wine and drink, but also by the sprawling country in which it made its home.
More important than the hills, however, are the people who provide the conversational lifeblood of the winery. Dix’s dream was to be a part of this community in a way that brought people together to do what they love—and who doesn’t love wine?
Shade Winery is open for tastings and purchases every Friday and Saturday from 1 to 8 p.m. (except in January and February.)
BY ALEX MENRISKY PHOTOS BY KATHERINE EGLI
“ People want to pay us, and in return, they get a grand party.”
Bree Dysart Cool Kidd’s Secretary
BY KIM AMEDRO PHOTOS BY AMANDA PUCKETT
Athens’ residential 24-hour party people are turning up the volume on University nightlife, and students are turning up in droves.
Lights flashing, beats bumping from the DJ booth, walls sweating from dancing bodies nustled against each other. “VIP” sections off the corner, where none other than Maybach Music’s own Stalley sits, vibing from the good turn out at his show with Big K.R.I.T. hours before.
You’d be wrong to discount it as just another night in a New York City club. This is Athens, Ohio, and the city’s about to witness a revitalization of its nightlife, courtesy of Cool Kidd Entertainment.
Ohio University students Jerry Valentine and Nick Banks felt it was time to introduce big league events to the small town.
“Athens needed livened up, Ohio University needed entertainment, more fun, especially for those who can’t go to the bars,” said Valentine.
As brothers of Alpha Phi Alpha, a series of unfortunate events involving Greek Life encouraged their inkling for change. After two brawls during the fall quarter icebreaker event held by the Ohio University chapter of the National Pan-Hellenic Council (NPHC), the governing body of historically African American Greek Life, the organization saw formal sanctions by the university. The festivities foundational to Black Greek Life halted.
Valentine, junior exercise physiology major, and Banks, a junior communication studies major, finally had room to create the entertainment hosting and event planning operation they longed for.
“We are college student entrepreneurs making a name for ourselves and bringing exciting social events to our college campus,” said Valentine.
One of the duo’s goals was to create a legacy with their effort, and to do that, they that they had to sound official.
While brainstorming names, DJ SP da Cool Kid, a personality on Columbus’s radio station Power 107.5, came across Valentine’s Twitter timeline. Valentine was inspired by his fellow Alpha brother. His name seemed to put into words Valentine and Banks’ essence.
After receiving permission from SP, Cool Kidd Entertainment was born, consisting of the pair and some of their closest friends: junior acting performance major Bree Dysart (the group’s secratary), junior painting major and Ohio University cheerleader Tia Daniels (who helps with graphic design), sophomore computer science major Brandon Chestnut (the team’s official DJ) and engineering technology major Devonte Hopson (who handles marketing).
“The diversity in our team is one of our strengths,” Dysart said. Only two are Greek and they all come from various walks of life, which represents the majority of the crowd they hope to gain as a following.
Cool Kidd believed it to be essential for their concept to go “beyond the box,” appealing to everybody at Ohio University. Attendance at their parties, recognizable through such vivid themes as the “Traffic Light Party” in which event-goers wore various colors to represent their relationship status, has shot up as Cool Kidd’s popularity rises.
“Our second party, the ‘Traffic Light Party’ was our most diverse party,” said Dysart. “It was almost like speed dating, but in a party setting. You meet new people and can learn something personal about them just by what they are wearing.”
DJ B Cool, Chestnut, stopped the music at one point, telling all attendees in green shirts – the available ones – to join together. While mingling with fellow greenbacks, a girl recognized her COMS classmate. After striking up conversation about class material and their professor, the two exchanged numbers, deciding to get together another time, Dysart said. “If they didn’t get anything else, they
gained a new friendship,” she added. Cool Kidd has not only planned and hosted five events so far, including the official Sibs Weekend Concert after party, which warranted an appearance and congratulatory tweets from rapper Stalley and his DJ, djBANDCAMP, they have also been flooded by requests to host others’ parties.
Dysart said part of Cool Kidd’s work is comparable to MTV’s My Super Sweet Sixteen – albeit in a college setting.
“We’ve been asked to throw people’s parties for them because of our good turnouts, our Twitter following and our marketing strategies,” she said. “People want to pay us, and in return, they get a grand party.”
On May 18, they will host the official Wiz Khalifa after party at The Union, and they have plans for comedy open mic nights, cookouts and a pool party event at University Courtyard to close out the year.
Because Cool Kidd intentionally chose
to not register as an Ohio University student organization, they have the power to be in charge of themselves.
“There is no limitations on what we can do,” Banks said. Rather than dealing with the bureaucratic structure in which student organizations must legitimize reasoning in order to receive money to only be used for exactly what it was allocated for, the six members are in control.
Cool Kidd has it’s own bank account, and both Valentine and Banks said their approach ensures smoothness.
In an event planning enterprise, variables aren’t always constant, they said.
Not being affiliated with the university allows them to remain on top of business on a minute-by-minute basis.
“It’s still a work-in-progress,” Dysart said. “Cool Kidd only started this year, so we still want to grow by adding more events, more members, a street team for promotions. We hope to make it a bigger deal.”
Banks agrees. “We don’t want it to die just because the NPHC sanction ended at the end of last quarter,” he said. In fact, they hope to expand Cool Kidd statewide to various cities and schools. They said a few Ohio institutions already have groups similar to theirs, such as Bowling Green State University’s G5 Global Icon Ent., who have reached out for collaboration.
“We hope to get as big as possible, but live in the moment. The sky’s the limit,” said Valentine. “If it were truly success-
ful, I wouldn’t mind turning it into a real business after graduation.”
Although past events have raised enough money to continue hosting parties, adding a merchandise component to Cool Kidd Entertainment has helped to soar their profits and increase their ability to present greater events to Ohio University and Athens.
During the “Traffic Light Party” at The Union, the six members wore gray crewneck sweatshirts with their official Cool Kidd logo that Daniels created to identify themselves to attendees. The item’s popularity was apparent; merchandising followed, allowing for the brand name to expand.
However, just because Cool Kidd was founded on entertainment and fun, the team knows how to delve deeper. They are working to become more engaged through community service.
“You get a bad rap if you just party all the time, so we hope to get involved like other organizations,” said Valentine. The group’s service furthers their mission to benefit the entire Athens community. Their future partnering with Ohio University Greek life and student organizations, as well as intercollegiate groups promises to bring their impact to many.
If their steady rise to the top says anything, it’s that these Cool Kidd’s are ones the Ohio University community (and, hopefully, further) won’t keep their eyes off.
VAMPIRING
outside the curriculum.
Parker and Nguyen marketed the play themselves, putting up obscure posters all over campus, as it was before online “viral marketing.” People actually had to go out and find the ads. The name of the show was hidden from everyone, even the actors auditioning for the play. In reality, neither Parker nor Nguyen knew the name of the play themselves yet.
“ I don’t think people realized [the play] wasn’t supposed to be boring.”
ing. They took this advice to heart and continued their success in the Big Apple.
IT UP
BY NA’TYRA GREEN ILLUSTRATIONS BY JANELL CLINGENPEEL
The tale of two rebel visionaries who decided the theater could always use more robot Nazis.
Underneath the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier is America’s best-kept secret and greatest weapon. During the American Revolution, the routine life of a cook for one woman is changed forever after a freak accident. She is possessed by a Native American spirit that makes her a powerful warrior. She fights through every early American war until she is captured by the government and kept in an underground lair. When her country is at war, she is released and takes to the battlefield to kill again. History just got interesting with The Vampire Cowboys Theater Company production of War is
The play that is the brainchild of Ohio University’s School of Theater and the Vampire Cowboys Theatre Company is operated by two OU alumni, Qui Nguyen and Robert Ross Parker. Shelley Delaney, head of the school’s performance program, came up with the idea
Parker directed and Nguyen wrote the project together as students in the School of Theater’s masters program. They went to other school productions, scoping out what people liked to
see. The two found many of the plays to be dry and outdated. Their dismay increased as they realized the actors didn’t seem connected to their roles.
“I don’t think people realized [the play] wasn’t supposed to be boring,” Parker says. Neither the audience nor the actors seemed to realize that it was supposed to be entertainment, not just something to be watched to earn an art credit. “This [thought] was happening independently between Rob and me. We never discussed this,” Nguyen says. Nguyen and Parker are self-proclaimed geeks interested in comic books; but this was in 1999, pre-Michael Cera, before geek was cool.
“Geeks were just fucking geeks. To be caught in a comic book store was akin to being caught in a porn shop,” Nguyen says.
Nguyen and Parker “caught” each other looking in the same comic book store. After trying to play off their presence in the store as research, they eventually went out for a drink and talked comics. They discovered that they both wanted to rent a studio to put on their own show, something
The play was shrouded in mystery, “much to the chagrin of (their) professors.” It was originally called The Bizarre Dreamings of Zaltan Ripchord. At some point, they decided they needed a better title. It would have nothing to do with the actual plot. Since there were no vampires or cowboys in the show, they decided to christen it the Vampire Cowboy Trilogy. Naturally, they later decided to add vampires and cowboys to the show.
The show became important, not only to Nguyen and Parker, but to the actors and students as well. However, the professors didn’t get it. One even complained that there was no content, only “form on top of form,” to which Parker and Nguyen countered that form was content.
Following The Vampire Cowboy Trilogy, they tried to become more serious and follow the curriculum. They had enjoyed the experience, but at the time, they did not think they would continue working together after college. But everything changed in their third and final year. Both Parker and Nguyen had internships in New York. While they were there they saw a few plays, but what they saw only convinced them to make more of their off-kilter shows.
One of their plays involved a heroine who went back in time to kill every philosophical thinker, until she got to God, killing God as well as Buddha and Jesus. In the opening act, she even kills the Pope.
Nguyen laughs, “It was an equal opportunity for everyone.”
Designers would come onto the team, and then quit after they read the script. Parker and Nguyen wanted to piss people off and entertain them. It was satire and also a rebellious way to get students more involved in the theater. After their show, A Beginners Guide to Decide, a professor told them to move to New York and keep doing what they were do-
Parker and Nguyen wanted to start their own company and make shows their way. Nguyen had received a ten thousand dollar grant for a new drama. He used half of it to pay his rent and quit his day job, and used the other to start the company. Five thousand dollars isn’t much to go on, so they would rehearse in each other’s living rooms and design the sets themselves. Nguyen and Parker laugh, “We are pretty genius artists, but horrible producers, horrible!”
Nguyen and Parker were later joined by award winning designers Nick Francone and Jessica Shay. They made the sets while producers Daniel Rech and Abby Marcus brought in the audience. The staff first produced the plays that had already been performed at Ohio University and it turned into a yearly growth. At first the other theater companies and the press scoffed at their efforts. Ten years later, they became a company that has won an Off-Broadway Theater Award and the Caffe Cino Award by NY Innovative Theatre Awards. Even though the shows sell out regularly, and they get great reviews from The New York Times, it is still an ongoing struggle. Nguyen, Parker and the rest of the Vampire Cowboy Theater Company work outside of the traditional American theater.
Their shows are “experimental and commercial.” Their first agent didn’t even know how to categorize their shows. Were they musicals, stand-up troupes or physical comedy? Last year, the Company did a play called Alice in Slasherland. The critics could only compare it to the previous Cowboy plays because there were no others like it. The Vampire Cowboy Theater Company has achieved what every other theater company wants: to be judged by its own standards. Their motto is “make shit that’s awesome,” and they have gone a long way towards accomplishing that goal.
ROBERT ROSS PARKER VAMPIRE COWBOY COMPANY
the bobcat behind imgur
BY JULIANNE MOBILIAN PHOTOS BY KEVIN CRAMER
Meet the man behind the memes. OU alumnus Alan Schaaf has created another website to distract you from your studies, Imgur.com.
“NOT TODAY, BITCH!” captions a photo of a zebra violently kicking a lion to avoid becoming its prey. Click. A young woman grins at the camera while she cradles her stomach, showing off her T-shirt that says, “Baby loading.” Click. An image of Hipster Ariel from Disney’s The Little Mermaid captioned “I left the sea because it was too mainstream.” Click. Condescending Willy Wonka cocks his head in a meme as he asks, “300 people liked your bikini picture on Facebook? I bet it’s because you have a lovely personality.”
Thanks to Imgur.com, and its Ohio University alumnus creator, optimal viewing for its host of images is easy, efficient and enjoyable. Since 24-year-old Alan Schaaf created the Imgur site in 2008 as a side project for Reddit.com, he has revolutionized the way people view humorous pictures on the web.
“Imgur is a website for images, but it is different from other image or photo sites,” Schaaf says. “Flickr. com, Photobucket.com, and Facebook.com, those are for sharing your personal pictures, whereas Imgur, for the most part, is for sharing viral, funny content.”
Schaaf independently created Imgur during his junior year at OU. He majored in computer science at OU and graduated with his degree in 2008. It was difficult, though, to balance his classes with the website, he says.
“It was really hard,” Schaaf says. “I actually worked on the site in my classes, but most of my profs knew what I was doing.”
Schaaf’s love for the Internet—specifically Reddit. com—prompted his project. Reddit is a site that gets its content from user-generated posts or links. Members of the site can vote for these as either “up” or “down.” The most popular submissions end up on the front page of Reddit. In addition, Reddit has multiple tabs to browse through, such as “Politics,” “Atheism,” “WTF,” “TodayILearned,” “AdviceAnimals,” “Mov-
“ I actually worked on the site in class. I’d bring my laptop and act like I’d be taking notes, when really I was just working on the site.”
Alan Schaaf Creator of Imgur
ies,” “Funny,” “Science,” and its most popular tab, “Pics.” According to Alexa.com – a site that tracks various websites’ statistics – Reddit is the 52nd most visited website in the United States.
“Oh, I love Reddit! I’m a big fan, definitely,” Schaaf says of the website.
Without being asked, Schaaf created Imgur for the Reddit website because he wanted users to more easily navigate through images.
He is also a huge fan of the popular Rage Comics, which are cartoons most popular among the Reddit fan base. A lot of the funny pictures, particularly humorous memes, get trafficked fast.
“The featured galleries on Imgur get trafficked the most. All of the featured galleries have over a hundred thousand views. The top gallery gets over a million, sometimes even a billion views,” says Schaaf . As for Imgur’s name, it is a combination of a few things.
“It was 50 domains long when I first created it, which of course was too long,” he says. “I checked to see which site names were available, and “Imgur” was one of them. It’s like a play on the words “Your” and “Image.” It combined the two names, which is what Imgur is all about.”
Schaaf’s website is stylized as “Imgur,” which causes some people to pronounce it as “Em-gurr,” but its proper pronounciation is “Imager.”
“I didn’t really think it would become as famous as it did,” remarks Schaaf. “I knew it was beginning to take off when I started seeing people I didn’t know—like mutual friends of a friend through Facebook or
Twitter—use it.”
Despite the tremendous workload of dealing with school projects as well as the Imgur website, Schaaf was able to have a positive college experience.
“I really loved OU,” he says. “In fact, I still lived in Athens a year after I graduated.”
As a student, Schaaf lived in Ryors Hall, Scott Quad, and finally on Schafer Street.
He most enjoyed his time as a member of the campus’ radio station, ACRN.
“It was a lot of fun,” Schaaf says. “I was the web director there and also I was a DJ.”
Now, Schaaf lives in California and works full-time on Imgur, but he still visits OU when he has the chance.
“I’m on the board of directors at Flare Code, and they have meetings sometimes at OU, so I do get to visit every now and then,” he said.
Now that he is out of school and can dedicate his time to Imgur, the site’s popularity is increasingly growing. According to Alexa.com, Imgur is now the 33rd most visited site in the United States, with more members joining every day. It is also starting to be used more outside of the Reddit community, appearing on popular social networking websites such as Facebook and Twitter. Imgur won TechCrunch.com’s “Best Bootstrapped Startup” award as the site hasn’t accepted any outside money or investors to help its take off.
As for Imgur’s future, Schaaf is ambitious and optimistic about what may come for the site.
“I’ve had some offers from those willing to buy it, but I’m not quite ready to sell it,” he says.
BY THE NUMBERS:
1 BILLION page views monthly
15 MILLION image uploads monthly
28 BILLION image views monthly
31 RANK IN U.S most visited site
70 GLOBAL RANK most visited site
11 CRUNCHIE AWARD best bootstrapped startup ‘
For more info:
Alan did two “Ask Me Anything’s” on Reddit, where he answered the questions of Reddit users about Imgur. The links to these AMA’s are: http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/eicjf/im_the_imgur_guy_ama_ part_two/ http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/ comments/9tlwi/im_the_imgur_guy_ ama/
COULD TALK
“
The room itself brings out the best in performers, and audiences love it.”
TIM PEACOCK DIRECTOR OF OPERA HOUSE
Feet shuffle to the left and short coughs are heard among the soft mumble of the audience in the dusty din of Stuart’s Opera House, located just 20 minutes down U.S. 33 West in the picturesque Nelsonville town square. The velvet curtains rise but instead of the stiff symphony band that would seemingly fit right into this venue, Arcade Fire tears into a song.
This 133-year-old building sits only 350 people in its well-worn wooden chairs. The small oak stage draped in deep velvet curtains hosts over 75 acts a year, from huge national acts like Arcade Fire, who appeared in 2008, to local performing arts shows. Walking into the opera house is like stepping back in time. Reminiscent of the Wild West, the opera house still stays true to some of its roots by hosting many bluegrass artists and traveling musicians much the same way as it did in 1879.
Tim Peacock goes hand in hand with Stuart’s Opera House. As director, he has everything to do with where the opera house is today. However, he seems to maintain that the opera house is doing most of the work for him.
“People come and then after the first time, they’re like ‘holy shit!’ I’m coming back. It’s a really neat place to see a show,” Peacock says.
With a background booking acts at Casa Nueva and the Union in Athens, Peacock began renting out the opera house as an independent pro -
moter until Stuart’s Opera House took him on full time, and he’s been there ever since helping to redefine this community theater.
The opera house is also much more than just a unique music venue. It is a non-profit organization hoping to better the Southeastern Ohio community. It is through this effort that the now famous Nelsonville Music Festival came about. It began just eight years ago as a one-day festival held as fundraiser in the historic square outside the opera house. Since then, it has greatly evolved. Today, it is held at the Hocking College campus and has boasted such headliners as the Avett Brothers
and Willie Nelson.
This year the festival is set to headline Iron & Wine, Andrew Bird and M. Ward from May 18–20. A three-day pass is $80. Day passes are also available since each day highlights a different headliner. Also featured at the festival is plenty of local art and food helping to support Stuart’s Opera House’s mission to provide a positive economic impact on one of Ohio’s poorest counties.
“Last year, our art vendors collectively sold over $35,000 worth of art,” Peacock says.
Despite Stuart’s Opera House tumultuous history, it has seen quite the comeback since its reopening in 1997.
BY HANNAH CROFT
PHOTOS BY ANITA VIZIREANU
After its initial opening in 1879, the opera house saw amazing success in its first 50 years. It became famous for its vaudeville shows of the day and even hosted the Queen of Vaudeville herself, Elsie Janis. The opera house gave some well-deserved culture to the then booming coal town of Nelsonville. However, soon the government stepped in with new safety laws banning the opening of any new or reopening any old second-story theaters anywhere in the state, forcing the opera house to close.
Even after the building was found to be structurally sound,
the damage had already been done and Stuart’s Opera House would sit abandoned for the next 50 years until the Hocking Valley Museum of Theatrical History stepped in to help. This non-profit organization stepped in to ensure the opera house would reopen its doors.
Stuart’s Opera House has built a national rapport because it is such a unique venue.
“The room itself brings out the best in performers, and audiences love it,” Peacock says.
“The room,” meaning the intimate opera house setting
where the audience gets to breathe in every single note and pause of a performance.
Drew Holzaepful, Director of the Performing Arts series at Ohio University, says, “Stuart’s Opera House (and the festival) is a really unique music venue, for Athens but just in general. Here you have this really old traditional opera house that Tim has recreated it into this really hip, kind of cool music setting where he’s bringing some of the big up and coming artists of all genres.” Peacock and Holzaepful work closely to try and work
together to bring some of the best music to the Athens county area. They check in to make sure certain dates work out for each and the university has even helped to collaborate in promotion for some of Stuart’s Opera House’s shows such as when the Avett Brothers came.
“I think both of us try and do the best we can not to program against each other but actually support each other, Hozaepful explains, I don’t view the opera house and what Tim’s doing up there as competition to what we do; I think it’s a supplement to the entire Athens music scene.”
SPRING THE LAST
BY SHANNON MIRANDA & CASEY WEINFURTNER INFOGRAPHIC BY CASSANDRA SHARPE
Semesters are coming, and many OU students may find themselves in a state of anxiety—both about their academic careers and their social lives. While students’ worries might be at the utmost high about the switch, faculty and administration are
Spring is the time when students, who filled their course schedules in the winter term, enroll in only the absolutely necessary classes in order to fully live up to the meaning of spring. Flip-flops and shorts appear too early, in anticipation of the season, music blares out of the open windows, the grass regains its vibrant green color across the greens and they flood with students hoping to catch a tan or a Frisbee and day-drinking becomes a daily scene at any home that has a porch. Right now is the last spring quarter— the last 10-week period that OU students can look forward to after returning from spring break. Next year, spring quarter will be a 15-week semester—something that students will have to get used to both academically and socially. Aside from the social schedule changes, students concern for their academic ca-
reers have arisen since the initial semester announcement. Mary Cross, graduate assistant at the Allen Student Help Center, where OU students can go to receive help with the transition, assures that the university is doing all it can to make the switch to semesters a smooth one.
“The [switch] sounds really big and crazy and we are trying to make it as small as possible for each student,” Cross promises. “It is a big move for the university. And hopefully everyone is going to be fine.”
Big? Yes, but when broken down, students can better understand what their lives will look like next year.
First of all, the big change impacts the start and end of the school year. As opposed to beginning on quarters after Labor Day, students must now prepare to begin with semesters on August 27. Students will no longer take exams during June, as their examination period will be April 29 through May 3. The 2012-13 school year will close May 4—a whole month before what the quarter schedule allowed.
Besides the beginning and end of the school year, breaks such as the six-week winter intersession that held a special place in the hearts of OU students are a large concern.
“That is a big change. Even for me because I did my undergraduate here and now I am doing my graduate, so I have been here for almost seven years and I have been under the quarter system,” Cross says.
Being on the same schedule as other schools for the summer will be a positive to balance out the loss of the winter vacation.
“For those who are doing internships and looking for jobs, this means they can be available to employers earlier in the year,” Linda Lockhart, communications manager at OU, explains. She calls this “possibly a competitive edge” because OU students will no longer enter the prime internship and job season later
than students from other colleges.
For students like Angela Reighard, a freshman journalism major, the opportunity for equal access to internships as other Ohio students is good news.
“Being on quarters has really affected me in terms of the conflict between beginning my internship and when we’re released for summer,” Angela explains.
“I have a limited amount of time to intern and most employers would like you to dedicate about four months to their companies.”
Not only will students’ yearly schedule change—their daily lives will as well. The rude awakening of a possible 7:30 a.m. class is now in the picture, Lockhart notes.
“While the first class slot of the day begins at 7:30, that doesn’t mean everyone will take a class at 7:30,” she says. “Actually, we anticipate there will be a narrow selection of classes offered at that time.”
Lockhart says that by offering the early class slot, the university is able to maximize the use of classrooms while also providing options that may be beneficial for students who have afternoon activities, such as athletic practices.
In addition to time changes, classes will now be offered either on a Monday, Wednesday, Friday basis or on Tuesdays and Thursdays, usually worth three credit hours—with possibly a few exceptions, but “very few in number,” Lockhart states.
As for schedules, classes on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays will be 55 minutes long with 10 minutes between classes, while classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays will be 80 minutes long with 10 minutes between classes.
For the many OU students who require financial aid, Valarie Miller, director of student financial aid and scholarships, ensures a smooth transition as well.
“There really isn’t going to be too much difficulty with the switch. One of the biggest changes that the financial aid department is going to face is that financial
aid for students will inevitably be divided into two semesters worth as opposed to the previous three quarters,” Miller explains. “Students are just going to have to get used to seeing their dividends divided into halves rather than thirds, which seeing higher numbers at first may seem scary to some students. But really, it’s all the same.”
In regard to receiving financial aid and scholarships, Miller notes that the process of receiving both will go unchanged.
“Students will need 16 credit hours to receive financial help and for academic scholarships, 15 credit hours. The student loans, federal programs for example, will go unchanged with 12 credit hours required,” she says.
Although the required credit hours for receiving financial aid and scholarships may remain the same, the many changes of the university have led many students to be concerned with their own completion of credit hours. While it takes 192 credit hours to graduate on quarters, only 120 credit hours will be needed on semesters. Angela Lash, the assistant director at Allen Student Help Center, notes that the credit hour conversion isn’t perfect.
“When you take the 192 and convert it to semester hours, it is actually 128,” she explains.
With the switch comes rumor and speculation, many of which include the myth that some students are getting away with graduating this year without taking all of their requirements. However, Lash debunks the falsehood by explaining this not-so perfect credit hour conversion.
“Students who have done every requirement for their college, but just have a class needed to get to 192 hours, when they convert that when we switch to semesters, at that point they would technically have enough credits to graduate, so they won’t make them take those extra couple of classes,” Lash says.
Cross continues to explain this issue of “fairness” in relation to the switch.
“When you are working with these massive bureaucracies, for example, universities, where there are so many levels, and these big initiatives kind of come through and sweep the university, you just have to play the game,” she suggests. “Is it fair? I think that it is just from a higher education standpoint because we have to roll with the times.”
Change can certainly be uncomfortable. Cross actually even calls the transition period a time of “growing pains” where students might typically feel “weird” about what is going on.
But as Gary Coombs, business management adviser assures, “the biggest benefit is that the change gave us the opportunity to take a fresh look at our cur-
riculum and look for ways to improve it.”
With the last spring quarter already in process, students of the nation’s top party school can get ready to kiss their beloved “fest season” goodbye. The 10-week party session during the well-known spring quarter usually begins with High Fest and ends with the Memorial Day trip to Hilton Head. But after the 2011-12 year, the anticipated spring quarter will be long gone, leaving students with one simple question: what lies ahead?
It’s undeniable that social festivities are certainly going to take a hit. Fest season as OU students know it will forever change.
The number-fests’ creator, Dominic Petrozzi, already pointed out in an article
in The Post that 10Fest will test out a fall semester date for the 2012-13 school year.
As for the other fests, dates and changes have not yet been released. The anonymous updates to the “Fests of Athens, Ohio” Facebook page announced, “[it’s] too soon to disclose any info regarding next fest season, but from what we have seen so far, it looks to be epic and hold the high standards that are the Fests of Athens, OH.”
Change? Yes. Improvement? That answer may follow with the start of next fall. Whether students have found themselves accepting of the switch, certainly the promised “smooth transition” is highly anticipated—both in the academic and social realms of OU.
CLASS SCHEDULES ON SEMESTERS SEMESTER BREAK
“SWITCH?
Mary Cross, Graduate Assistant at the Allen Student Help Center WHY THE
I am under the impression that statewide, it is difficult to transfer credits from a quarters university to a semesters university and vice versa....essentially when they started to think about switching over to semesters, it really was hinged around Ohio State because if Ohio State is going to switch to semesters then we might as well all switch.”
QUESTIONS?
GENERAL QUESTIONS http://www.ohio.edu/q2s/ COURSE APPLICATION http://webapps.ohio.edu/q2scourse/ VISIT THE ALLEN STUDENT HELP CENTER
DEAN DRAIN
within the administrative hierarchy that is stifled by a lack of free-speaking, tenured positions, and that he has “known some deans over the last five years who have not been happy with budget decisions and some of the things they’ve had to do.”
of communication between McDavis, Benoit and faculty and staff, and warned of a possible “Dean Drain,” meaning that their decisions are resulting in the increase in high-level administrative departures.
Tanningbeds:trendoraddiction?
Stewarttoleavepublicofficefor‘privatesector’
BY STEPHANIE
Ohio University’s faculty and staff have been screaming for a voice for years; as administrators increasingly leave OU for other schools, some wonder how the President and Provost can’t hear them.
TAYLOR L PUMA For The Post tl674710@ohiou.edu
people (have about losing) their animals.”
Ohio University’s student government kicked off Winter Quarter with a visit from a different kind of senator. Ohio state Sen. Troy Balderson, R-20th, came to senate’s first 2012 meeting and answered questions regarding the Enterprise University System as well as a bill that would regulate keeping wild animals as pets.
for directorship of UNCF
consultants.
He said the institute approached him about the job after he was introduced by an acquaintance who works there. Bridges has worked in OU’s Office of Diversity, Access, and Equity since 2009, according to a previous university news release. The office aims to “integrate
MICHAELSTAINBROOKStaffWriter ms229908@ohiou.edu
He adds, “We’re not in the same dire straits that we seemed to be in two or three years ago, and it’s unclear whether or not the deans are going to regain the same kind of authority and responsibility over their colleges that they might have had in the past.”
“The economic climate is bad everywhere … The ‘Dean Drain’ is a harbinger of things to come if this university is not placed on the right track,” one anonymous evaluator said.
•
Executive Vice President and Provost
“We’re very fortunate to have the senator here taking time out of his busy schedule to talk to us,” Student Senate President KyleTriplett said. Balderson, who spent three years in the Ohio House of Representatives before replacing Jimmy Stewart as state senator last summer, began by giving senate his career history.
Pam Benoit wears an invisible suit of armor around campus, hardened from years of public criticism and a familiarity with delivering bad news to faculty, staff and students.
StateAnaggravatedburglaryonWest nothingStreetyesterdayresultedin takenandnoinjuries,accordingtoanAthensPolicepress suspectsAtabout3:20p.m.,twomale — one armed — de-college-agemanded“thenicestuff”fromtwo residents, one maledentsEventhoughoneoftheresineighbor’sfledanddialed911froma home, the suspects,thewhoweredescribedasblack,fled “Initially,sceneaftergivingshortchase, theytriedtocatchhim (the…oncehewasoutofarm’sreach, suspects)knewthejibwas Police,up,”saidLt.RandyGrayofAthens adding that he receivedarestatementsfrombothvictimswho One“fine.”suspect is described as 5-foot-11 with a thin, muscularjeanbuildandwaslastseenwearing shorts,adarklycoloredshirt reportedlyandblackbaseballcap.Theother, weighing more thanshorts200pounds,waswearinglongjean Thoughandabluestripedshirt.aboutfiveofficerswere areonthescene,Lt.Graysaidthere “Thiscurrentlynoleads.isn’trelatedtoanything fullythatIknowof,”Graysaid.“Hopesomebodysawsomething.” —PatHolmes
Armedburglarsgetnothing
Having entered the scene at OU immediately following the economic downturn of 2008, Benoit has been straddling rapidly decreasing state support and the protests of a university reaping the consequences.
“We’ve had a tough year,” Balderson said. “We had to make some very tough decisions.” One event that helped create the stressful legislative environment was the Oct. 18 killing of 49 wild animals set loose on a Zanesville wildlife preserve. Balderson updated senate on a bill regarding the rights to keep wild animals at home, saying it will be drafted next week.
Triplett asked Balderson how the Enterprise University System will affect OU. The plan, which would free Ohio universities of some state oversight in return for less funding, could see results as soon as this school year’s end, Balderson said. “The governor really wants higher-educational facilities to work together,” Balderson added. “We are completely changing the way we normally do things, and we need to change things for you guys.” Triplett said he was unaware of any specifics concerning the Enterprise University System’s impact. He added that he believestheStatehousehasmostly developed its plan but is keeping quiet for now. Student Senate Vice President Roger Jones said he appreciated having a state senator visit and show that he is willing to talk to constituents.
ofOUdepartures
shortofNCAAbenchmark
“The number-one story in the history of Ohio is the wild animals in Zanesville,” said Balderson, a native of Muskingum County and graduate of Zanesville High School.“There’s a strong, strong passion that
mentonthenatureofBurgraff’s with“Apersonnelmatterhastodo relationshipanindividual’semployment withtheuniversity,”Senate’sAMay17letterfromFaculty ProfessionalEthicsCom- mittee noted a grievance wasDeane,filedagainstBurgraffbyDennis aprofessoroffineartsat mustbeassignedtoacampus,an DONNA BURGRAFFasSteppingdown campusChilliocotheDeanofOU’s
She made an appearance at Student Senate’s general body meeting on April 4 to present to students the proposal to raise tuition and fees to their maximum legal amount for the third consecutive year. She stressed that the university cannot afford to allow faculty to leave for higher-paying positions at other institutions.
“It’s nice to have somebody on the inside that is willing to talk to students and willing to answer questions,” Jones said. Balderson ended his presentation by thanking the senate for having him.
“I love Ohio University,” he said. “You guys are a greater influence on the changes that are to take place in government.”
“I think we’re at a breaking point,” Benoit says. “I think if you talk to any of the deans, they’d agree.”
ScrippsCollegedeanlatestinlineofOUdepartures
andEvansisretiring. ofBenOgles,deanoftheCollege lastArtsandSciences,announced monththatheisleavingfora jobatBrighamYoungUniversity. was“MydecisiontoleaveOHIO noteasilymade,”Shepherd staffsaidinanemailtofacultyand tunitiesyesterday.“ThereareopporatMiamithataretremen-douslyattractivetome,but havelegegreatfeelingforourScrippsColand,especially,forsomany Scrippsofyou.”Shepherdhasworkedforthe Collegesince2001and inwasappointedpermanentdean “The2006.(University of Miami) School of Communication … isandfilledwithgreatfaculty,students staff,andhasthepotentialto beoneoftheverybestschoolsof Shepherdcommunicationinthecountry,” saidintheUniversity tractedofMiaminewsrelease.“Iwasatto the ambition of the schoolandwanttobe partofE.)thefuturethatPresident(Donna ShalalaandProvost(Thomas J.)LeBlancenvisionfortheuniversity and are so successfully enacting.” terimOUhopestoappointaninleavesdeanbythetimeShepherd July1,saidAnnFidler,chief andofstafftoExecutiveVicePresident committeeProvostPamBenoit.Asearch willhelpfindanew College.permanentdeanfortheScripps affectShepherd’sdeparturewillnot College’sthedevelopmentofScripps new building, sched-Watts,uledtoopenfall2013,saidBecky
In addition to the “dean drain,” many administrators have left as well. So far in his eight years as President, President Roderick McDavis has seen the turnover of 12 vice presidents and provosts. President Robert Glidden’s 10year term from 1994 to 2004 saw nine replacements, and President Charles J. Ping’s 19-year term saw six. The current administration has replaced three vice presidents for finance, two vice presidents for student affairs, five vice presidents for university advancement and two executive vice presidents/provosts. Most recently, McDavis’ Chief of Staff, Becky Watts, announced she will leave this year, bringing the total administrative toll to thirteen.
In 2009, Benoit instituted a new hiring scheme in which college departments must “outline how such a position might be funded in the future if additional budget reductions had to take place” in order to hire new staff, she said in an email. It also emphasized part-time and temporary contracts. Benoit commented on the situation in a Faculty Senate meeting, “We’re going to lose lots of good people through the faculty buyout and probably not replace them with tenure-track faculty.”
The hiring freeze took control away from the deans, said McLaughlin. Three years later, “the budget situation seems to be getting better,” he added, “but it’s unclear whether or not the Provost has let go of some of the control.”
One evaluator described a conversation with a dean in which the dean said he didn’t “feel like a dean anymore.” The dean had said “‘Decisions that were once routine aspects of my authority now require permission from the Provost.’” The evaluator concluded, “My impression is that the Provost is centralizing academic decision‐making in ways that will make the best deans unwilling to continue to serve.”
This amount of criticism is not new to the McDavis administration; faculty and students voted no confidence in McDavis’ performance in 2007, prompting a study by the American Association of University Professors. The study revealed concern that “Ohio’s top administrators are making fiscally irresponsible decisions,” according to an Inside Higher Ed article.
•
•
• Jack Ellis: 1987-1997
• Leonard Raley: 1997-2005
• David Stewart: 1993- 1996
In the past year alone, six deans have left for lateral and promotional positions, including: Dean of Graduate College Rathindra Bose, Executive Dean of Regional Higher Education Dan Evans, Dean of the College of Arts and Sciences Ben Ogles, Dean of Scripps School of Communication Greg Shepherd, Dean of the College of Fine Arts Chuck McWeeny and Dean of the Heritage College of Osteopathic Medicine Jack Brose.
Chairman of Faculty Senate Joe McLaughlin said some deans “probably figure that it’s a good time to let someone come in and manage the changes” under Benoit. He said some deans moved to lateral positions for personal reasons, such as Dean Ogles, a Mormon who left for a positon at Bringham young University, a traditionally Mormon institution. But, McLaughlin said in Ogles’ case and in the case of Dean Shepherd, who moved to a position as dean at University of Miami, they might have wanted “the opportunity to have to spend some money rather than every year seeing what we’re going to cut this time.”
In a survey conducted by Faculty Senate at the beginning of the 201112 fiscal year, 50 percent of faculty strongly disagreed that Benoit considers faculty concerns when making major decisions, and 49 percent strongly disagreed that she sought any input from faculty. The survey produced even harsher results for McDavis, with 60 percent of faculty strongly disagreeing that McDavis considers faculty input, fosters a climate that can be suc cessful and is an effective leader.
McDavis and Benoit declined to comment on the criticism then and this year’s faculty survey, citing its relative insignificance because it was not solicited by the Board of Trustees, which oversees the President and Provost.
Benoit, though, said deans are not leaving because of internal or management problems.
“Some deans received job offers that allowed them to expand their academic horizons, to be closer to their families or to develop their leadership skills at universities that had different
One anonymous evaluator wrote, “There seems to be an almost willful disregard for faculty and staff input. Though an effort seems to be made to ‘listen,’ it is clear that nothing is being ‘heard.’”
A sub-standard score on anmen’sNCAAevaluationwillcostOhio’s basketballteamascholarshipfortheupcomingschoolyear. Results from the NCAA’s Aca-wasdemicProgressRatereport,which released yesterday, showedfour-yeartheBobcatsplacedloweronthe averagescorethan80 percent of all other Division Imen’sbasketballteamsnationally. Awardsandpenaltiesarebased orona1,000-pointscale.Teamsearn eligibilitylosepointsbasedonacademic andretentionratesfor bytheirathletes.Dividingthescore 1,000 reveals the percentageearned.oftotalpossiblepointstheteam The men’s basketball teamscoredan878forthe2009-10acaaveragedemicyear,loweringitsfour-year to910.ThemultiyearAPR percentilesrankedbetweenthe10thand20th ofallDivisionIbasket10ballprogramsandinthebottom acrosspercentofallDivisionIteams all sports. Teams musttoscorea925onthemultiyearAPR “Aavoidpenalization. unexpectedcontributingfactorwasthe departure of severalreasons,”student-athletesfornon-academic DirectorofAthleticsJim mentSchaussaid.“TheathleticdeparthasworkedwiththeNCAA Weonadetailedimprovementplan. remedyareconfidentinourabilityto thisissueinthefuture.” Of the 14 players on Ohio’sship.2011-12roster,12areonscholarTheaidreductionthatresults from the low APR score wouldhavebeenthe13thscholarship, ,PAGE3
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McLaughlin said there is tension
Other comments described a lack
Pam Benoit:
STARK PHOTOS PROVIDED FROM POST ARCHIVE
BALDERSON
&TEARS SWEAT MUD
BY JESSICA VOGEL PHOTOS BY KIRSTEN MARTINEZ
Meet the brave Ohio University team that is up to the challenge of taking on, “the toughest event on the planet.”
At the count of three, Ohio University’s “Mountain Man Mudders,” approach the edge of a thirty-foot cliff. Beneath them lies the South Amherst Quarry, full of ice-cold water. In one swift motion, the ‘Mudders’ unleash a proud yell and leap. Their muscles tense as they shatter through the water’s frigid surface. It’s one of the many obstacles they must overcome in the Tough Mudder challenge.
The challenge is a 10-12 mile obstacle course designed by the British Special Forces. Ten thousand participants are drawn to South Amherst on this April Saturday to test their limits.
Moments earlier, before reaching the start, ‘Mudders’ (participants in the challenge) must hop over a ten-foot wall and wait, penned in, to battle the course. Dressed
in everything from Oompa Loompa costumes and workout attire to three piece suits or thongs, the mudders raise their right hands and read the Tough Mudder Pledge. At the sound of the starting gun, they take off running through the orange smoke.
With their shoes weighing them down, the Mountain Men, comprised entirely of Ohio University students and teachers, swim to the edge of the lake. Once freshman Abby Russell reaches the shore she is unable to stand because her muscles are so numb; she crawls up the bank and carries herself ahead.
The team struggles to pull themselves out of chest-deep mud pits.
Swamps, a balance beam lined with electrified wire, drainage pipes filled with water and barbed wire, a field set on fire, and huge rope nets test the Mudders as the miles continue.
A belly crawl is required as they pass through puddles of water under dangling electric wires. Together they push for the finish line, but at about mile nine there is an obstacle that may cause the team to falter.
With a completion rate of just 70%, it’s no surprise Abby hopes to come out unscathed “I had to sign three release forms, two of them including dying” she says.
Founded by Will Dean and Guy Livingstone, Tough Mudder cur-
rently has competitions in the USA, Canada, Europe, Japan, South Africa, Australia and New Zealand.
Tough Mudder is an opportunity to “play at a pretty intense level,” says team member and leader, Matt Vosler, an instructor of Recreation and Sport Pedagogy in the Patton College of Education and Human Services. The main reason for becoming a Mudder is to experience “humanity versus the elements,” says Matt’s colleague, Joe Crowley, the original founder of the Mountain Man Mudders.
Matt, who has taken part in mountain climbs, white water rafting, and shark fishing, describes Tough Mudder as “basically everything I wanted
to set up in my backyard as a kid and never had 10,000 volts of electricity to do so.”
Designed with communal effort in mind, every team member functions as one, every team helping each other along the way. Abby says, “[I] never felt such a sense of camaraderie amongst strangers before.”
The Mountain Men call themselves a ‘family.’ We “really impressed ourselves” Matt says. He adds that no one complained as the team remained together, never stopping to walk the entire race.
Tough Mudder is a proud supporter of the Wounded Warriors Project. The Wounded Warrior Project supports brave soldiers, “warriors”, returning home from battle. Funds raised support many services including counseling, employment services, and combat stress recovery programs. Over 2 million dollars have been raised by Tough Mudder contestants.
Full of hunger and exhaustion, the team approaches the fourth and final Berlin Wall. Volunteering to be the first girl, Abby scales the wet, 12-foot wall. Once on top she
swings her leg, then twists, falls forward, and smacks her head before her spotter can catch her. Her eyes are unable to focus. Matt guesses she has a concussion and possibly a broken leg. Proving that everyone has their limit, she is taken to the first aid tent. The team must go on without her. She will have wait until next year to complete the course.
With just two miles to go, the team reenergizes themselves to battle hunger, exhaustion, the quarter pipe and a field of live wires. With the final 10,000 volts of electricity behind them the Mudders join hands and run through the finish line. Abby is there to greet them.
The Mudders reach the finish line and are awarded a headband and an ice-cold beer. Throughout the course the Mudders held true to their pledge, putting teamwork and camaraderie before their course time. There are certain experiences that people try and sum up with terms including awesome, intense and tough, Matt explains, but Tough Mudder is more than that. Its appeal can’t really be summed up unless you live it; it simply makes you a tougher person.
““There
was no negative attitude, we ran the entire time, never stopping to walk, which a lot of folks did, we all really impressed ourselves, as far as what we were able to do together.”
Matt Vosler, Team Member & Key Leader
PICNIC for a Lovely Day
BY KATE SCHROEDER
PHOTOS BY ERIN RABY
Life is always a picnic in Athens! Here are some recipes to perfect your spring picnics.
Watermelonade
Ingredients
1 pitcher of Crystal Light Lemonade
1 quarter or a half of cubed watermelon frozen
Directions
Put your watermelon ice cubs in the pitcher of lemonade as ice for your picnic.
Southern Potato Salad
Ingredients
4 potatoes boiled, peeled and chopped let cool
4 boiled eggs chopped
½ chopped bacon
½ stalk of celery chopped
¼ cup of sweet relish
2 tablespoons of mustard
½ cup of mayo
Directions
Mix it all together.
Taffy Apple Salad
Ingredients
1 large can chunk pineapple, drained, save juice
2 cups small marshmallows
½ cup sugar
1 Tbsp flour
1 egg well beaten
2 cups unpeeled diced granny smith apples
1 Tbsp white vinegar
1 8oz. Cool whip
1 ½ cups salted peanuts
Directions
Mix pineapple chunks and marshmallows together in bowl. Cover and refrigerate overnight. Mix pineapple juice, flour, sugar, vinegar and egg in small saucepan. Boil over medium heat until thick, stirring frequently. Pour into bowl, cover and refrigerate overnight. Right before serving mix pineapple mixture and sauce mixture together. Stir in cool whip. Add apples and peanuts.
Cranberry Turkey Pinwheel Sandwiches
Ingredients
Flour tortillas
Deli sliced turkey
Deli sliced mozzarella cheese or spreadable goat cheese
Romaine lettuce
Cranberry Chutney
Directions
Lay two slices of turkey, two slices of cheese (or spread goat cheese on the flour tortilla), romaine lettuce and spread cranberry chutney on the flour tortilla and roll up the wrap. Cut the wrap into one inch sections and secure with a toothpick.
COACH
At 42 years, Joe Carbone is leaving it all out on the field. It’s all over but the crying, and there’s no crying in baseball.
On a sweltering May afternoon in southeast Ohio, a bus screeched to a halt near the intersection of South Court and West State Street. Out stepped a high school senior from Elkland, Pennsylvania, unsettled by the humidity that confined him in his three-piece suit, shuffling toward campus with luggage in hand.
“I didn’t even know there was a school named Ohio University,” says Joe Carbone, the face of the Ohio Baseball program that almost wasn’t.
After 42 years of college coaching, the last 24 in Athens, Carbone will don the green and white jersey as head coach of the Bobcats for the final time this spring. He’ll leave with his fair share of accolades — two MAC Coach of the Year awards, most wins in school history, second most wins in MAC baseball history (661 wins prior to the start of the 2012 season), two MAC titles in 1991 and 1997, and a gold ring for his work for USA Baseball’s Gold Medal team during the 2000 Olympics -- a track record rivaling that of his former coach, the Bobcat legend Bob Wren.
At his guidance counselor’s recommendation, Carbone reluctantly took the recruiting trip to Athens in the spring of 1966, looking for an opportunity. The speedy, left-handed hitting, second baseman met with Coach Wren and spent the weekend watching his future teammates play.
“I told him I couldn’t play here. [Coach Wren] goes ‘What
“ Hell, I might be 90 years old and coaching a little league team.”
Joe Carbone, Head Baseball Coach
are you talking about?’ I said ‘I can’t play with these guys, these guys are good,’” says Carbone.
Despite Carbone’s initial hesitancy, Wren offered him a scholarship and he never looked back. As a senior captain of the Bobcats 1970 College World Series team, he helped propel the program to new heights.
He has filled Coach Wren’s shoes, and then some. Carbone’s legacy will ultimately be defined by his natural ability to be a leader. But he is still loath to talk about his long-term impact.
“Legacy?” he says. “No, I’m just an old guy who stuck around too long.” Carbone paces the sun-soaked grass lining the field that lies in the shadow of the Convocation Center.
“Who’s Benjamin Franklin?” says Carbone, his voice booms as he addresses a semi-circle of kneeling Bob -
cats. Carbone needs to command the attention of his team to get his point across. “What are some of the things he did with his life?”
“He was a statesman,” a player in the back says. Patrolling the batting cage, Carbone begins to make his point.
“He has a quote,” Carbone says softly.
Collecting himself to make sure he gets the quote right, he pauses, and then recites the words of Ben Franklin loud and clear.
“’They that will not be counseled cannot be helped.’” Pausing again for emphasis, Carbone lays out the goal of the day: “With that being said … sacrifice bunting.”
A bunting practice, to players today, is a dreaded distraction. The players break up into groups, squaring up against a pitching machine throwing wild curve balls, or against a teammate
squatting on a bucket of balls. The practice won’t end until Carbone sees improvement.
“Coaching is a very frustrating profession,” says Carbone. “You go over and over and over something and guys just don’t get it. They just don’t get it.” Carbone understands what it’s like to be on the other side of coaching, teetering on the fringe of sport. After being selected in the 22nd round by the Kansas City Royals, Carbone’s career hit a crossroads as he struggled in the minor leagues while moonlighting as an assistant baseball coach for Marshall University. It wasn’t until an off-the-record conversation at a coach’s convention with a Royals catching instructor named Steve Korcheck, that Carbone realized he had the rare opportunity to control the next phase of his baseball career. Carbone, seeking insight on the organization’s evaluation of his play, told Korcheck that he had been offered an inner-city teaching job and a spot on the bench at the University of Toledo, but if he went to spring training the offer would vanish.
BY CHRIS LONGO PHOTOS BY JOEL HAWKSLEY
“If you ever tell anyone this, I’m going to hunt you down like a dog,” said Korcheck. “There’ll always be a place for you in the organization because you’re a left-handed hitter and you can run and you can throw. But you’re going to cap out at Double-A, possibly Triple A, but you’re good coach material,” said Korcheck. In an instant, Carbone’s coaching career was unceremoniously christened.
Carbone stood with the chance in hand to leave the game on his own terms before the game abruptly left him. “[Korcheck] said if I were you I’d go ahead and take that opportunity, so that’s what I did,” Carbone says. Following stints as an assistant at Toledo and Ohio State, Carbone found himself back in Athens as the head coach of the Bobcats. He has hung his hat on the value of opportunity ever since Coach Wren first gave him a chance. As the tides of collegiate baseball turn, Carbone is one of only a handful of college coaches to still hold open tryouts.
“Back then, kids understood you had to go try out and make teams. All players wanted were opportunities. [Today] all kids want are guarantees,” says Carbone. “I have never given a guarantee to anybody. The best players play.”
Carbone is respected as a coach, but revered as a teacher.
“He’s always preaching about being respectful. As a player, it makes you look up to a man like that,” says senior outfielder, Jensen Painter. “He teaches you how to go from being a young man to a man.”
Carbone’s impact isn’t limited to his own dugout. His devotion to the MAC conference has earned him the respect of many opposing dugouts.
“He has molded so many young men, not only in the game of baseball, but more importantly the game of life,” says longtime rival and close friend, Danny Schmitz. Head baseball coach at Bowling Green.
Schmitz sums up Carbone’s legacy in a nutshell: “Joe Carbone is Ohio
University Baseball and Ohio University Baseball is Joe Carbone.”
Nestled in an office under the stands of the Convocation Center, Carbone usually spends his time thinking about the intricacies of the game. Today, he has a moment to reflect on a career at Ohio before his team takes the field for a contest against Eastern Michigan. “You know, when you’ve played somewhere, you care more about the place quite honestly,” he says. “I did the best job I could for the 24 years I was here.”
Never one to his brag about his accomplishments, Carbone is just as humble as the kid from Elkland who stepped onto the bricks all those years ago.
“Hopefully I did some things well,” he says.
Always looking for the next opportunity, Carbone will move on from Ohio and take a shot at coaching professionally. But when it comes to leaving the game for good, he says he’ll go as far as he can go. “Hell, I might be 90 years old and coaching a little league team,” says Carbone.
“ Joe Carbone is Ohio University Baseball and Ohio University Baseball is Joe Carbone.”
Danny Schmitz - Head Coach Bowling Green
HOW
This past March, OU men’s basketball team made its historic trip to the Sweet Sixteen for the first time in 48 years. If you don’t remember the madness for yourself, these moments caught on film will certainly bring back the memories made just months ago.
The Ohio men’s basketball waits on the bench to be introduced before their 64-63 win over No. 1 seed Akron for the MAC Tournament Championship at Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland, Ohio, on March 10.
RIGHT: Freshman guard Stevie Taylor pumps up the Bobcats before their 73-65 overtime loss to North Carolina in St. Louis on March 23.
Ohio head coach John Groce fills in Ohio’s name on the team’s bracket after the Bobcats’ 62-56 win over South Florida on March 18 in Nashville, Tenn. for a spot in the Sweet 16.
Junior guard D.J. Cooper drives to the hoop in Ohio’s 65-60 win over Michigan on March 16 at Bridgestone Arena in Nashville, Tenn.
Ohio’s bench celebrates as the Bobcats take the lead late in the second half of their 73-65 overtime loss to North Carolina in St. Louis on March 23.
The Ohio men’s basketball team, coaches, and fans, reacts as the Bobcats are selected to play Michigan in the NCAA Tournament at Baker University Center in Athens, Ohio on March 11.
GOING THE DISTANCE
BY MELISSA THOMPSON
Within the running community there are so many ideologies about training for a halfmarathon. As a novice runner it is overwhelming enough to pick your race, let alone your training regiment. This series explores one novice runner’s endeavor on a 12-week training program. Providing the reader with a unique perspective on the dedication, hard work, and sacrifices that go into training...do you have what it takes?
People-watching. We all do it, especially when we walk through College Green or sit outside of Whit’s on Court Street. This is exactly the approach Kendall Kidder-Goshorn took when waiting for the half-marathon to begin on April 1. Instead of the typical, Sunday, barren College Green, Kendall watched in awe as the number of people lacing up their running shoes crowded around Court Street. Most of these people were sporting marathon or half-marathon T-shirts, an inspiration for Kendall before completing her first half-marathon.
Kendall had been training for the half-marathon for 12 weeks, using the plan created by Hal Hidgon, a writer for Runner’s World. She was ready. She was prepared. She had low blood sugar. Pause. Normally, on the to-do list before a half-marathon, checking your blood sugar does not make the cut. For Kendall, this was a top and dire priority because she is diabetic. This added a unique spin to her training plan and her goal for completing the next 13.1 miles.
Kendall’s training plan had allowed her to slowly increase mileage while simultaneously monitoring how it affected her health. Trying to raise
her blood sugar, Kendall forced down glucose gels that placed sugar into her system.
“I tested again and it had gone up a little bit, but not as much as I would have preferred,” Kendall said. “We were going to be running in five minutes so I was just like, ‘Well, there is nothing I can do, so I will just go and see what happens.’”
At first, this method worked in Kendall’s favor. The excitement lasted approximately .2 miles. It was at the .2 mile water stop that Kendall stopped to check her blood sugar. At first, she was frustrated about needing to stop in the first place. But a deeper frustration set in when her blood sugar was low. She once again tried to pump sugar into her body through the glucose gels, creating a tug-of-war between her willingness to keep running and her medical health. She kept running, but Kendall’s tug-ofwar battle reached its peak.
“I was like, at least if I ran five and half miles straight I would be really proud of that. By that point, I knew I needed to stop. I could feel myself getting low,” Kendall remembered. “I was starting to not be able to read the signs.”
In that moment, Kendall was forced
to throw out the idea of any pace. It became more about slowing down and trying to get her heartbeat to a normal level. To get her heart rate to slow down, she had to walk for a halfmile. To pass the time, she turned to people watching and again, it created an inspiration. Kendall was able to run until mile seven before her low blood sugar brought her back to reality. The weaker she got from running, the harder it became for her to test her blood sugar. She had no other choice but to slow down and power walk.
At mile eight, Kendall felt comfortable enough to begin to jog. When Kendall crossed the finish line, she was sprinting. She had steadily increased her pace, and when the finish line came into view all she could think about was getting to a doctor. Once she found a doctor, he provided Kendall with tips to make her next half-marathon run smoother.
“I was talking to him and I was just so bummed. I was so fully prepared and I really had a goal,” Kendall said. “He told me I wasn’t giving myself enough credit. He did not know any other diabetic that had ran the race.”
CROSSWORD
DOWN
1 _____ and Parker, two OU alums, founded The Vampire Cowboy Theater Company in 1999.
2 This famous vaudevillian star once passed through Stuart’s Opera House.
4 The Quartersto-Semesters transition will give OU students a “competitive edge” when applying for these.
5 Entertainment brings the energy of an NYC nightclub to students here in Athens.
ACROSS
3 Joe Carbone coached baseball for ____ years at Ohio University.
6 This is Dr. Michelle O’Malley’s favorite uptown bar.
7 Imgur founder and OU grad Alan Schaaf lived in this dorm his freshman year.
8 This rant and rager (who wrote the article?) treats their ____better than their Honda Acura.
9 Combine a pitcher of Crystal Light Lemonade with a quarter of frozen watermelon cubes to make this tasty drink.
10 In order to stick to “clean eating” Kendall (Kendall who?) managed to find recipes for cakes and brownies made from different types of
11 One obstacle the contestants face in the Tough ‘Mudder challenge is dodging ____ volts of deadly electricity.
PHOTOS BY KATE ALEXANDER
7 DEADLY SINS ELYSE KUNTZ
If only.
A soft green that has more than just a soul look out into the world. And all I will have to do to save it is be in it.
The composition of a milky skeleton, that curves with each individual. And the translucent canvas that multiple eyes see as perfection.
Every centimeter of every internal muscle and limb speaks true and kind.
Each line on my face shows brilliance.
And all shadows that come close to haunt my dreams, I speak to and give peace.
The nimble hands only do good, and tightly clasp shut when handed a weapon.
Fabrications buzz around, but I only believe what I know ..then never share to another..
I can give and receive the compassion burning on all young virgins lips, then autonomous when it fails to peak.
I look to the sky, and fail to see anything below, because I am honored to be who stands before you.
Gatherings of young and old, Gentlemen, and ladies; are drawn to the anatomy, the heart, the confidence.
But this is not me, I speak in first person because I want to be who I am not.
I envy you.
is your best friend on campus!
For only $8.00 per quarter (included as an option on your tuition bill) you can have access to a licensed attorney!
(see our website for limitations on our services)
TWO WHEELS OF Rage
BY ALEX MENRISKY
One Backdrop writer wants students to get off his back about bicycling.
I love my bicycle. I treat it almost better than my Acura, and with ample TLC. It has served me better than any laptop or loyal pet. In fact, it’s everything I could ever need wrapped into one convenient, if oddly shaped, package. So why, when I ride my bike up and down the sloping streets of Athens, Ohio, do I find myself wondering why I suddenly receive shouts and abuse reminiscent of the catcalls of drunken ingrates passing hapless young women on Friday nights?
I recall one incident in particular at the intersection of Court and Union, when a big shiny red car (the kind you used to play with as a
child in miniature form) pulled up beside me. “Hey, man,” I heard. I looked over. “Nice wheels.” The rap-blasting, inmate-looking, buzzed-head youth laughed hysterically. So did the four bleach-blond girls in the car with him. I smiled politely. Then when the light turned green, I passed him. My silver bike isn’t as flashy as your compensatory hot rod, sir, but I sure as hell get far more exercise on it, and I can apparently still go faster than you.
Athens’ hills offer a healthy workout— a much better one than you build in your ankle doing all that hard, cool work pressing and depressing that gas peddle. That’ll im-
press your ladies.
Obnoxious shouts from the dudes strutting the sidewalks with their pants around their ankles are also cause for a sardonic smirk. “Nice, bro. Go on, keep laughing. I’ll get where I’m going long before you.”
Now, I’ll admit it, the biking community (I don’t pretend to be an avid cyclist—it’s a nice source of both exercise and leisure, but I tip my hat to you Tour de France types) of Athens could learn a thing or two about biking in the street—where there’s no bike lane, it’s always courteous to stick to the extreme right or left of your given lane.
I’ve seen this rule of thumb violated more times than I can count. So bikers, here’s a warning to you as well: don’t be a dick.
But aside from the speed and efficiency of a bike, I feel the wind in my hair, a spring breeze on my face.
I avoid walking outside my house just to enclose myself again because I feel, for many reasons, that it’s legitimately good for me. So all you obnoxious loudmouths, all you fly-as-hell pedestrians and insecure jockeys, hear what I have to say: eat my rubber-ripped, two-wheeled dust.
