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C O N T E N T S VOLUME 31 • NUMBER 22 D E C E M B E R 1 –7, 2 0 1 1

E D I T O R I A L Editor Scott Wilson Managing Editor Justin Kendall Music Editor David Hudnall Staff Writers Charles Ferruzza, Ben Palosaari Editorial Operations Manager Deborah Hirsch Proofreader Brent Shepherd Calendar Editor Berry Anderson Clubs Editor Abbie Stutzer Food Blogger, Web Editor Jonathan Bender Contributing Writers Danny Alexander, Aaron Carnes, Kyle Eustice, Ian Hrabe, Elke Mermis, Chris Packham, Chris Parker, Nadia Pflaum, M.T. Richards, Nancy Hull Rigdon, Dan Savage, Brent Shepherd, Nick Spacek, Abbie Stutzer, Kent Szlauderbach, Crystal K. Wiebe Editorial Intern Jenna Jakowatz

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N O H EA L I N G The state of Kansas still chases a link to Dr. George Tiller.

BY JUSTIN KENDALL | 6

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The Pitch Questionnaire

S A M M E L L I N G E R Occupation: Sports columnist at The Kansas City Star Hometown: Lawrence, Kansas

Who or what is your sidekick? Frankie, my pointer mix with an enormous vertical leap.

No joke, she can scale a tree. Career high is maybe 12 feet off the ground. Traffic stops when we’re out on walks.

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What was the last local restaurant you patronized? El Patrón. Can’t get enough of their tacos.

Where do you drink? In order: my couch, the Phoenix, Quaff, Peanut and Caddy Shack. I don’t stray far, huh?

Favorite arts organization: Crossroads Arts District because of First Fridays.

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What career would you choose in an alternate reality? This is hard because I’ve honestly never considered anything else since I was about 15. I hope the answer is that I would teach or do something with a nonprofit like Big Brothers Big Sisters, but if it turns out that I’m not as altruistic as I hope, sometimes I close my eyes and imagine tending bar on a beach somewhere.

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Favorite place to spend a significant portion of your paycheck: Restaurants. Kansas City is one of the best eating towns in the country, one of the reasons I like it here. Le Fou Frog, Justus Drugstore, Grand Street Café, Garozzo’s, Oklahoma Joe’s. My body gets very confused — it’s alternately told to digest a delicious pulled-pork Z-Man with fries and then asked to swim it off.

What local phenomenon do you think is overrated? Trader Joe’s. I mean, it’s a good grocery store. But on the other hand, it’s a good grocery store.

Where do you like to take out-of-town guests?

We eat, go to a Royals game, the college basketball experience and/or a show. Mine are a simple people.

Finish this sentence: “Kansas City screwed up when it ” Didn’t build a downtown baseball stadium. I know that’s old news by now, but I still think about it. The smart and pitch.com

B R O O K E VA N D E V E R

Current neighborhood: Downtown Kansas City, Missouri

economically responsible thing was to renovate the K. The awesome thing would’ve been to build downtown.

Finish this sentence: “Kansas City got it right when it ” Built KCI the way it did. One of the best parts of living here is the convenience of everything. The highway system makes it absurdly easy to get virtually anywhere from virtually anywhere, and the airport is the easiest in the country to get in and out. I’ve made it from my place downtown through security in 33 minutes, and that’s parking in the economy lot, for crap’s sake. I travel a lot and am always happy to be back home.

What TV show are you embarrassed to admit you watch? I’m actually embarrassed to admit I don’t watch a whole lot of TV, and I hate that saying that makes me sound pretentious. I wish I watched more, actually, but the day always seems to run out on me. take up a lot of space in my iTunes: The Black Keys’ badass song catalog, and nerdy podcasts like This American Life and Freakonomics.

What movie do you watch at once a year?

A Christmas Story. I might fight anyone, depending on how big they are, who doesn’t love this movie. My family is spread around the country, but my favorite tradition is one night over Christmas, when we watch Ralphie and also How the Grinch Stole Christmas and just go to town on nachos, wing dip (if you don’t know, Google it, and it will change your life) and this ridiculously good food that my Korean step-sister-in-law makes.

Celebrity you’d like to take on a gondola ride: Blake Lively. She’s so … smart. pitch.com

Favorite person or thing to follow on Twitter: Shit My Dad Says is the best, but he hardly tweets anymore, so I’ll say that Gregg Doyel is pretty entertaining. Locally, Kim English and Frank Martin are pretty good. Tyshawn Taylor is hilarious but in a very unintentional way. You know, I’m not sure I’ve found a lot of 10s. Lot of 7s and 8s, though, which is good enough.

Person or thing you find really irritating at this moment: The Penn State grossness. It’s absolutely evil and disgusting, obviously, but there is also a lot of reaction that just isn’t rooted in reality. David Brooks wrote an excellent piece about this, pointing out that all of us are flawed in some ways that are very uncomfortable.

What subscription — print, digital, etc. — do you value most? The Kansas City Star! Second place is a tie between the iPad versions of Sports Illustrated and Esquire.

What is your most embarrassing dating moment? Well, there was the time in high school when my mom came home from work unexpectedly early …

What was the most important thing you learned in school? Turn it in. And don’t take authority figures too seriously.

Finish this sentence: “People might be surprised to know that I ” Am an amazing Pop-A-Shot player.

Describe a recent triumph: I talked Verizon into giving me a discounted iPhone and throwing in a car charger. I’m a painfully bad negotiator. Not sure what got into me.

Sam Mellinger’s columns appear in the sports section of The Kansas City Star.

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THE PITCH

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EXCLUSIVE SPECIALS FOR WRISTBAND HOLDERS

Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback finds out that the Internet can be mean.

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Tattle Tweets ansas Gov. Sam Brownback is so fragile. We found out last week just how delicate the Republican’s feelings are, after a teenager made a rude comment about him on the Internet.

Emma Sullivan, an 18-year-old senior at Shawnee Mission East High School, grabbed headlines with a tweet directed at Brownback. She had just heard the governor speak to her Youth in Government group in Topeka, and she wasn’t impressed. She tweeted to her followers, who numbered just 65 at the time: “Just made mean comments at gov. brownback and told him he sucked, in person #heblowsalot.”

Though this was an exaggeration — Sullivan hadn’t spoken directly to the governor — it was nothing uncommon or even especially critical in the joke-heavy Twitterverse. But it would not stand in Brownbackistan. Someone in the governor’s administration saw the tweet and blew the whistle on Sullivan to Youth in Government, which then alerted Shawnee Mission East principal Karl Krawitz.

Krawitz, apparently believing that children should be seen and not heard, pronounced the school “embarrassed” and asked Sullivan to apologize to the bruised governor. Sullivan told The Washington Post that Krawitz gave her talking points for the proposed mea culpa. Meanwhile, news of Suckedgate spread, and Sullivan’s Twitter following ballooned with supporters.

The Shawnee Mission School District announced Monday that it wouldn’t require Sullivan to apologize, and by that afternoon, Brownback had issued his own apology to Sullivan. (The governor’s staff and Krawitz owe her a stack of Hallmark cards as well.)

After this PR nightmare, Gov. Poutypants could use a pick-me-up, so we offer him a few apology tweets in lieu of Sullivan’s:

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We’re sorry you made Kansas the first state without an arts program #heblowsalot

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We’re sorry you’re actively trying to turn young minds off politics #heblowsalot

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We’re sorry your staff had to work Thanksgiving weekend due to your getting butt-hurt over a tweet #heblowsalot

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We’re sorry your budget had 1,000 state workers taking early buyouts while keeping someone on the payroll to monitor Twitter #heblowsalot

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We’re sorry your social-media gestapo blew this completely out of proportion #heblowsalot

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We’re sorry you don’t believe in protecting every citizen’s right to free speech #heblowsalot

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We’re sorry your staff didn’t have better things to do than try to get a high-schooler in trouble #heblowsalot

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We’re sorry you’re so sensitive to what teenage girls think of you #heblowsalot

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We’re sorry your spokeswoman thought tattling about a tweet was “important” #heblowsalot

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Y

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We’re sorry you were the only governor outside Texas to attend Rick Perry’s bigot convention in Houston #heblowsalot We’re sorry you hired a state IT chief with a degree from a diploma mill #heblowsalot

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We’re sorry you had to fire that chief and then admit you hadn’t vetted him #heblowsalot

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We’re sorry your actions will likely have a chilling effect on other young people #heblowsalot Finally, we’re not sorry #heblowsalot will forever be associated with you on Twitter — BEN PALOSAARI No tattling at pitch.com/plog

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THE STATE OF KANSAS CHASES ONE OF THE LAST LINKS TO GEORGE TILLER.

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BY JUSTIN KENDALL | PHOTOGRAPHY BY ANGELA C. BOND

here isn’t an address on the paint-chipped farmhouse in Nortonville, about 30 miles north of Lawrence. Across from it on this country road, the mailbox hangs limp. A muddy driveway leads past a beat-up pickup truck to a garage. An approaching car sends cats scattering.

It’s the only place that Ann Kristin Neuhaus and Mike Caddell have ever owned. She describes the place as something out of Cormac McCarthy’s post-apocalyptic novel The Road. Caddell calls it “a money pit.”

“Do we look rich?” Neuhaus asks. “We’re very broke all of the time.

Our house is falling down.”

She turns on the water each time she wants to flush the toilet, but this is home for Neuhaus and Caddell. They’ve been married 26 years, and they have a 14-year-old son, Tristan. Six chickens, five cats, four dogs, three horses, two roosters and a goat roam the family’s 10 acres.

Neuhaus and Caddell bought the place 15 years ago, when she was making a little money. Now they’re struggling to survive. About a year ago, the house nearly faced foreclosure. During an interview with The Pitch in September, Neuhaus was on her way to apply for a payday loan.

Then in October, the utilities were almost shut off.

“It’s just literally month by month that we’re holding onto the place,” says Caddell, host of the Radio Free Kansas online radio show. “We’ve been living on $30,000 a year for about two and a half years now.” That money came from a research stipend that has since expired. Neuhaus is now working as a research instructor at the University of Kansas Medical Center’s Department of Family Medicine.

Out here, they say, the neighbors are protective. One, fearing for Neuhaus’ safety, offered to loan her an AK-47. That’s life on the front line of Kansas’ abortion war.

Neuhaus is one of the last links to Wichita abortion provider George Tiller, who was murdered in May 2009 while attending a Sunday church service. From 1999 to 2006, Neuhaus provided second-opinion mentalhealth exams to determine whether the late-term abortions that some women sought at Tiller’s clinic were medically necessary. That step was required by Kansas law.

Three Kansas attorneys general tried to prosecute Tiller for his arrangement with Neuhaus. Tiller eventually was charged with having an improper financial relationship with Neuhaus. He was acquitted of the misdemeanor in March 2009. The doctor was assassinated two months later by Scott Roeder, who had attended Tiller’s trial and was seen sitting next to Operation Rescue president Troy Newman.

The Kansas Board of Healing Arts is now considering whether to sanction Neuhaus and possibly revoke her medical license. Neuhaus’ license has been inactive since 2009, when she enrolled at KU Med to pursue a master’s degree in public health. (She says she will graduate later this month.) The board contends that Neuhaus didn’t keep detailed records on 11 patients, between the ages of 10 and 18, who received late-term abortions at Tiller’s clinic in 2003. Neuhaus diagnosed each of the patients as having acute anxiety, acute stress or single episodes of major depression. She says the girls showed continued on page 8 pitch.com pitch.com

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signs of post-traumatic stress disorder; some expressed suicidal thoughts.

Abortions in Kansas must be performed before the 22nd week of pregnancy. In order for a woman to have a late-term abortion, her life must be at risk or the pregnancy’s continuation would cause “substantial and irreversible” harm to “a major bodily function.” When Neuhaus worked with Tiller, an exception also existed for mental health; Kansas lawmakers have since removed that exception.

One afternoon in early November, Neuhaus sips a homemade espresso in her dining room.

She speaks softly, sometimes burying her face in her arms on the table. She doubts that the state will let her keep her medical license.

“Am I paranoid?” she asks. “No, I’m not.

I just know too much to have real faith in it working equitably, because it doesn’t — it’s not an equitable system.”

If the board takes her license, Neuhaus will likely appeal. While she waits, she may go on welfare.

“Eventually I’ll be living out in the Occupy Kansas City in the park,” she says. “Or maybe I’ll go to D.C.” “Tristan and I won’t be doing that,” Caddell says with a chuckle. He’s standing in the kitchen doorway, smoking a cigarette. He looks like a lost Mario brother with his handlebar mustache, horseshoe of long curly hair and denim overalls. He’s a stay-at-home dad, taking care of Tristan, who has Type 1 diabetes and receives about a half-dozen insulin shots a day.

If the board allows her to keep her license, Neuhaus says she’ll go back to providing lowincome health care, as she has done since 1986, but not abortions.

“I’m done with this whole women’s-right issue,” she says. “It’s definitely an underserved

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population, but I’m done. Not even in the wildest imaginable situation would I do it again. I would even sign a statement that I wouldn’t do it again. I’m certainly not going to be working for Dr. Tiller again, am I? And we’re not going to have a clinic like that ever again.”

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he case against Neuhaus started with Phill Kline, former Kansas attorney general and Johnson County district attorney. The fallout from his investigation is still being felt on both sides of the abortion debate. While the Kansas Board of Healing Arts decides whether Neuhaus can practice medicine again, a Kansas disciplinary panel is recommending that the Sunflower State’s Supreme Court indefinitely suspend Kline’s law license for the “dishonest and selfish” way in which he investigated abortion clinics. Neuhaus’ livelihood hangs in the balance, but Kline’s doesn’t. His law license has lapsed, and he moved to Virginia in 2009 to teach law at the Jerry Falwell-founded Liberty University.

Neuhaus remembers the night she was served with a subpoena. It was December 2006, and a blizzard was blowing in. When there was a knock at her door, around 7 p.m., she expected another uninvited visitor spouting religious overtures. But she says it was Kline’s lead investigator, Tom Williams, with a subpoena, summoning her to testify in Kline’s inquisition.

Neuhaus says she and her attorney met with Kansas Assistant Attorney General Stephen Maxwell, one of Kline’s lead prosecutors.

Williams was also in the room. Neuhaus talked with them for about seven hours, and at some point, Maxwell asked her to bring her records to a follow-up meeting. She says Maxwell assured her that he wouldn’t keep the records.

“I’ve spent four years trying to get Tiller’s, and I’m not going to try to get yours,” she says

Ann Kristin Neuhaus is done providing abortions.

Maxwell told her. “It just takes too long. You just bring them so you can refresh your memory.

“I took him at his word, and the next week I showed up with these charts,” she says. “He immediately seized them and had them copied. I think he gave them back to me then.”

Neuhaus wishes that she’d skipped the hearing.

“Maxwell lied to me,” she says. “That’s how he got the records. And that’s how the charges were filed. And that’s how the trial happened. And that’s how Dr. Tiller got killed. That whole sequence of events was predicated on criminal behavior on the part of the [AG’s] office. Perjury is criminal. A lawyer is not allowed to lie at any time. He said to me, ‘I’m not going to take your records.’

When I walk in the door, he says, ‘I’m taking your records.’ And what choice do I have? I can take my box and try to run. Or I can go to jail. And if I go to jail, they still have my records. They literally cornered me and they avoided due process, and nobody’s done a fucking thing about it.”

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he complaint filed against Neuhaus with the Board of Healing Arts didn’t come from one of the 11 patients. It came from Cheryl Sullenger, Operation Rescue’s “senior policy advisor.”

Sullenger is a convicted felon. In 1988, she conspired to blow up an abortion clinic in San Diego. The plot, which included Sullenger’s husband, Randall, and six other members of the fundamentalist Bible Missionary Fellowship, failed when wind blew out the fuse attached to a gasoline bomb. The Los Angeles Times reported that Cheryl Sullenger continued on page 10

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had obtained gunpowder and other material for the bomb.

At the time, Sullenger was 32 years old and had two children, ages 6 and 4. At her sentencing, she told the judge that she knew what she had done was wrong, but her religious beliefs “put a lot of emotional pressure on us to do this.” She went on: “I believe it says in the Bible that abortion is murder, and when you see that, you are compelled to do something about that.”

She was sentenced to three years in federal prison and has since claimed that she has renounced violence. On the day Tiller was shot, police found Sullenger’s name and phone number on a piece of paper inside Roeder’s car. She told The Kansas City Star at the time that she was in contact with Roeder prior to the murder. It was she who gave Roeder the dates of Tiller’s court appearances.

Neuhaus has been a frequent target for derision on Operation Rescue’s website. In October, Neuhaus sent a cease-and-desist letter to Newman and Sullenger, threatening to sue them in civil court and file a criminal complaint against them if they continued to publish “untrue and defamatory” stories and statements. She cites accusations on the site that she’s “unfit to practice medicine” and “a danger to the public.”

She also writes that Operation Rescue claims that she “sedated and forcefully performed an abortion on a patient, in spite of [the patient’s] later testimony under oath that she had not withdrawn consent, and had in fact, filed the complaint in hope of financial gain.”

“They’re obviously going around saying things that are inflammatory and untrue, and they’ve gotten away with it for years,” Neuhaus says. “And they’ve kept the fire burning and gotten people like Bill O’Reilly to keep propagating it, and it’s gotten people like Scott Roeder to kill people ... . They’re operating on the border of what’s legal, and they get away with it, and nobody cares.”

O’Reilly mentioned Neuhaus on his Fox News talk show in September. The pundit had frequently referred to Tiller as “Tiller the baby killer” prior to the doctor’s murder.

On this occasion, he said he believed that the state would revoke Neuhaus’ medical license.

“This is what I said all along about Tiller’s practice,” O’Reilly said. “If you walked in there with the $5,000 needed to abort the late-term baby, he was going to find a way to do the abortion.”

“MY DUTY IS TO MAINTAIN PATIENT PRIVACY. …

THERE’S NO WAY BILL O’REILLY OR MY NEIGHBOR DOWN THE ROAD OR THE MINISTER OF THE LUTHERAN CHURCH IS GOING TO BE ABLE TO MAKE THOSE DECISIONS.” From left: Mike Caddell, Tristan and Neuhaus are struggling to survive.

Neuhaus says O’Reilly invited her on his show. She says she accepted but hasn’t been contacted yet for scheduling.

“I want to see that fucker eye to eye,” Neuhaus says. “I’m going to ask him how he got my records. That’s all I’m going to say: How did you get my records, motherfucker?”

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n a chilly November Friday, the last day of hearings gets under way in the basement of a Topeka office building. At the door to the hearing room, a bored-looking cop sips from a can of Monster Energy, and a who’s who of antiabortion activists takes up a back corner. Operation Rescue’s Newman and Sullenger are here, tweeting the proceedings. Kansans for Life’s Kathy Ostrowski, obviously sick with cold or flu, types on her laptop.

Neuhaus sits with her pro bono attorneys, Kelly Kauffman and Robert Eye, in the sterile hearing room. Edward Gaschler, the hearing’s presiding officer, takes notes for the board members, who don’t attend.

Testimony resumes with Dr. Allen Greiner, a professor at the University of Kansas School of Medicine, who has already testified in Sep-

tember that Neuhaus’ mental-health exams went “above and beyond the standard of care.”

His testimony answers the state’s primary expert, Liza Gold, a clinical psychiatry professor at Georgetown University Medical Center.

Gold testified that Neuhaus’ reports didn’t meet the standard of care and lacked detail.

“I don’t think she was qualified to testify,” Eye later tells The Pitch. “She doesn’t have the requisite experience with doing evaluations of the mental health of a person who wanted to end an unwanted pregnancy to give her the basis to render an expert opinion. That doesn’t even take into account what I believe was her inherent bias against abortions.”

At one point during her testimony, Gold said she couldn’t conceive of a situation to which abortion would be a solution.

“What does that tell you?” Neuhaus says.

“It’s pretty blatant. That’s a pretty radical statement.”

Eye agrees. “Her view was that if an unwanted pregnancy caused a mental-health problem, the patient should be either medicated or hospitalized, or go through some sort of psychotherapy,” he says of Gold’s statements. “What we really confronted was a witness who did not accept that these patients had a choice guaranteed under the law to proceed with the termination of pregnancy, and the medical aspect of it had to be

weighed against the choice that these patients had to terminate a pregnancy.”

The Board of Healing Arts’ attorney, Reese Hays, has built a case that resembles a malpractice suit. He has argued that Neuhaus’ patient charts lack detail, but he also has focused on whether the abortions should have been performed at all.

Hays proceeds to question Greiner as though Neuhaus were the primary physician for the 11 girls and women. She wasn’t. Tiller was.

“The care and treatment of the patient was the responsibility of the primary treater, and that was Dr. Tiller,” Eye explains. “Dr. Neuhaus’ function was to do these very narrow-based evaluations. And once that was done, then she was obligated to report those findings to Dr. Tiller for the purpose of either going through with the abortion or not.”

Neuhaus doesn’t dispute that her records lack detail. She says she purposely left out information, fearing anti-abortion groups and political forces would acquire the information and make it public, violating her patients’ privacy rights.

“My duty is to maintain patient privacy,” Neuhaus tells The Pitch. “I spent four years of undergrad, four years of med school, a year of residency and 15 years of practice to be able to manage patients like that. There’s no way

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Bill O’Reilly or my neighbor down the road or the minister of the Lutheran church is going to be able to make those decisions.”

“I think she probably had the perfect personality to be the person talking to these girls about these issues,” Greiner tells The Pitch.

“You don’t necessarily want someone who comes off as overly professional and aloof and academic. You want someone who can talk to the person as a real human being so that you can get the kind of information that you need to decide if there’s really substantial or irreversible harm.”

The circumstances of some of the 11 patients’ cases were reported in a September 17 Associated Press story. In each case, Neuhaus had written a letter to Tiller saying the patient would face “substantial and irreversible impairment of a major physical or mental function.”

A 15-year-old Missouri girl feared that she’d be kicked out of school if her pregnancy was discovered. Neuhaus diagnosed her with a single episode of depression. Tiller’s staff noted on a separate, suicide-risk-specific form that the girl had attempted to harm herself with an extension cord.

Neuhaus diagnosed an 18-year-old woman with severe acute stress disorder. Tiller’s staff wrote that the woman wouldn’t consider adoption because she didn’t want “someone looking for me the rest of my life.”

“I did the best I could,” Neuhaus says. “Dr. Tiller did the best he could. It says ‘substantial and irreversible.’ Irreversible, there’s no question about what that means. It’s not ambiguous. But substantial? What’s that mean?

You’re presented with a patient with a need, and your duty as a physician is to help. I tried to apply the law as I understood it. It had to be ‘a substantial and irreversible impairment of her mental function,’ and becoming a mom at 15 can become a substantial problem. Not for every 15-year-old, no. But especially when you add in the other circumstances.”

One of the patients was a 10-year-old California girl who was a victim of rape and incest. Neuhaus took issue with Gold’s claim that an abortion wasn’t medically necessary for the girl.

“To even claim that isn’t medically necessary qualifies as gross incompetence,” Neuhaus tells The Pitch. “Someone’s 10 years old, and they were raped by their uncle and they understand that they’ve got a baby growing in their stomach and they don’t want that. You’re going to send this girl for a brain scan and some blood work and put her in a hospital?”

The hearing ends, and the anti-abortion claque disperses. Newman takes a parting shot at Neuhaus. “She’s a putz,” he says as he leaves the building. “She’s incompetent. She’s a bumbling idiot. She’s Mrs. Jack the Ripper.” When the board takes Neuhaus’ medical license, he says, it’ll be a repudiation of Tiller, too.

The Board of Healing Arts could make a ruling as early as February. If Neuhaus has any allies on the 15-member board, they likely don’t include Rick Macias, whom Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback appointed in July. Macias, an adoption lawyer, has also done legal work for Operation Rescue, Kansans for Life and other anti-abortion groups. Macias’ brother, Archie, serves as the treasurer for the Kansans for Life Political Action Committee, and

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Neuhaus provided independent second opinions for George Tiller (top).

Operation Rescue’s Cheryl Sullenger (left) with Troy Newman, who calls Neuhaus “Mrs. Jack the Ripper.”

Macias has supported anti-abortion political candidates through the PAC. Rick Macias didn’t return calls from The Pitch.

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T

he old coal furnace in Neuhaus’ basement was converted to run on diesel fuel, but Neuhaus and Caddell burn wood and coal in it. Diesel is too expensive. And when there’s a fire going, Neuhaus burns paper, too: old medical records.

Neuhaus performed an abortion for the first time in 1986. She estimates that she has performed 10,000 abortions.

She ran a clinic in Lawrence from 1997 to 2002. When she closed her clinic, she took its records home with her. Kansas law dictates that a health-care provider keep a patient’s records for 10 years. “At the end of the 10 years,” Neuhaus says, “I get rid of them.”

Neuhaus and Caddell treat each purge as a celebration, and they do it month after month.

Neuhaus calls the ritual “cathartic,” not an act of destruction but one of protection. She explains: “Everything was there. Their whole history — their name, their phone number, their address, their life circumstance — was all in those charts.”

Caddell, who worked security at abortion clinics throughout Kansas, calls the burning his last security job for Neuhaus. “I don’t look at ’em. I just throw ’em in the fire. And Phill Kline can’t lay his slimy, panty-sniffing hands on it.”

“It was, like, the greatest thing ever,” Neuhaus says, recalling the first batch of records that she incinerated and the patients she was protecting. “It was like closing the door for them. It was like exorcising that ghost from their lives. It was the one link that could come back to haunt them.”

E-mail justin.kendall@pitch.com or call 816-218-6778 pitch.com

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11

Starts Wed 11/30!

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12

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T U E S D AY PAGE 14

W E D N E S D AY PAGE 14

Spooky sounds at the Riot Room.

Getting to know Steve Jobs better.

Don Giovanni, live from Milan.

NIGHT + DAY WEEK OF DECEMBER 1–7

T H U R S D AY

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12.1

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HOW HORTON STOLE CHRISTMAS

[LECTURES]

RIDIN’ DIRTY

On NPR’s All Things Considered recently, Barron H. Lerner, a professor of medicine and public health at Columbia University, told Melissa Block that he had carried out a personal experiment with a bottle of vodka and a Breathalyzer.

FIND He found that after MANY MORE five shots, his bloodalcohol level was .08 percent, only .025 LISTINGS percent above the legal limit. As he suspected ONLINE AT after doing his research, PITCH.COM “One can drink an awful lot and be pretty buzzed and still legally drive in the United States.” He discusses his newly published book, One for the Road: Drunk Driving Since 1900, which is a study of public and law-enforcement attitudes toward driving while intoxicated. The talk starts at 6:30 p.m. at the Plaza Branch of the Kansas City Public Library (4801 Main, 816-701-3481).

RSVP at kclibrary.org, under the “Events & Activities” tab.

— NADIA PFLAUM

mystery dinner theater. Participation, cocktails and a sense of humor are musts for this three-hour experience. Running ThursdaySaturday through January 7, the train stops at Finnigan’s Hall (503 East 18th Avenue, in North Kansas City, 816-221-3466) tonight at 6:30. Tickets cost $64 per person and include dinner and the show. For more information and a full schedule, see kcmysterytrain.com.

— BERRY ANDERSON

Seussical!

Sunday

S AT U R D AY

EVENT

F R I D AY

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12.2

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[FILM]

SKA-VOLUTION

If there ever was a band with the chops to break big, it was Fishbone. The group’s powerful combination of high-energy stage shows, raw talent and crossover appeal was groundbreaking for Los Angeles in the 1980s but a little too much for the mainstream. Interpersonal conflicts didn’t help the ska-punk-funk band, either.

A new documentary, Everyday Sunshine, by Lev Anderson and KC filmmaker Chris Metzler, is an illuminating look at a band that should’ve been but never was. Featuring Angelo Moore, the inimitable frontman and saxophone player, and bassist Norwood Fisher, the film contrasts moments of performing onstage for exultant crowds with more uncomfortable scenes (picture an evicted Moore living with his mother). Narrated by Laurence Fishburne and featuring interviews with Gwen Stefani, Flea, Les Claypool and others, Everyday Sunshine comes to the Screenland Crossroads (1656

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12.3

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[ H O L I DAY ]

J. ROBERT SCHRAEDER

GOOD OL’ DAYS

Washington, 816-421-9700) tonight through Sunday, beginning at 8. Tickets cost $8 for adults and $6 for students and seniors. Stay for a post-screening Q&A with Metzler. For more information about the movie, see fishbonedocumentary.com.

— NICK SPACEK [ART]

FIRST-FRIDAY ROUNDUP

Cara and Cabezas Contemporary (1714 Holmes, 816-332-6239). An annual group exhibition devoted to the topic of “identity in contemporary culture,” The Voice That Reaches You IV takes on social media. Featuring the works of Francisco Alfaro as well as individual pieces from 10 other artists, the paintings, videos and sculptures pose the question of whether use of the Internet is about humans interacting or about consumers consuming. The gallery is open from 6 to 9 p.m.

Red Star Studios (2100 Walnut, 816-474-7316).

Reduce this month’s multimedia consumption for the singular aura of ceramics. Black and White opens from 6 to 9 p.m. The gallery’s rule for the seven accomplished ceramists from across the country was simply to use black and white – though we know it’s not that simple.

Alpha Gallery (2014 Main, inside Alpha Title, 816-421-3336). See and bid on works donated by 20 artists to Artists for the Nation. A silent auction begins at 6 p.m. Monies collected go to All God’s Children, a nonprofit group raising funds to build a medical clinic at Calvary Christian Church in Zambia. The works vary from decorative to provocative etchings and paintings.

— K ENT SZLAUDERBACH

It can be weirdly romantic to daydream about traveling back in time. One place in town that captures another era’s seasonal spirit is the Alexander Majors Historic House and Museum (8201 State Line, 816-444-1858). Director Kandice Walker describes the museum’s Christmas celebration as “dinner theater, except it is dessert.” Enjoy cookies, cupcakes and punch while going back to 1943 for a USO show performed for the World War II soldiers bunking in the home’s historic barn. The audience is part of the interactive song-and-dance numbers, particularly when Santa bursts into the room like a jolly, old Kool-Aid man. Shows are at 3 and 7 p.m. today (and 7 p.m. Friday, Dec. 2).

Tickets cost $15 for adults and $10 for children ages 5 to 12. Those younger than 5 get in free.

For more information and to purchase tickets, see alexandermajors.com.

— ANGELA LUTZ [SHOPPING]

ART DE FEMME

[DINNER THEATER]

187 ON THE TRACKS

Long before Jos. A. Bank, Envolve Boutique and Lovebird moved to downtown KC, there was Macy’s, the Jones Store and Harzfeld’s.

During the holidays, these department stores would transform into magical winter wonderlands, with elaborate window displays, elves and fluorescent Christmas lights. One store, Kline’s, had a fairy princess who would wave her wand after hearing a child’s Christmas wish, and a gift would magically appear.

Naturally, the fairy princess was in a coveted position, for which people were willing to kill — or so goes the story line of Fairy Princess Die-aries, the final show of the 2011 season of Mystery Train, KC’s interactive murderpitch.com pitch.com

Make Christmas wishes come true for friends and family by doing your holiday shopping at this weekend’s Holly Holly Holly Days Sale featuring artwork, handcrafted gift items, food and beauty products created by local women.

“This is the 27th year we’ve done this event,” says coordinator Barbara Walley. “The first year, we had a handful of women participating, and this year, we’ll have 59 different vendors.” The sale runs today from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. and Sunday from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. in the auditorium of the Cristo Rey High School (211 West Linwood Boulevard, 816-457-6044).

And go hungry: Homemade vegan soup, chili and desserts are sold. Though some vendors accept credit cards and continued on page 14 D E C E M B E R 1 - 7, 2 0 1 1 t h e p i t c h 13 M O N T H X X–X X , 2 0 0 X T H E P I T C H 1

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continued from page 13

checks, cash is recommended. Search for Holly Holly Holly Days Sale on Facebook for more information.

— CHARLES FERRUZZA [BALLET]

VISIONS OF SUGARPLUMS

Remember the Christmas you gave the gift of

SCUBA DIVING

For this season’s production of The Nutcracker: 6,600 hairpins, 400 pairs of tights, 560 pages of music (weighing 9 pounds total), and 1,000 pounds of snow. And that’s just for 20 performances. But it’s about quality more than quantity at this Christmastime production’s first season at the Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts (1601 Broadway, 816-994-7200).

Experience the classic music of Tchaikovsky, played by the Kansas City Symphony, and the choreography of Todd Bolender, when The Nutcracker is performed at 2 and 7:30 p.m. The holiday staple continues through December 24. For tickets and a performance schedule, see ticketing.kcballet.org or call 816-931-2232.

— JENNA JAKOWATZ

S U N D AY

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12.4

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[THEATER]

SEUSS, PART DEUCE

Following the adventures of Horton the Elephant as he hears a Who and hatches an egg, Seussical! brings the works of the venerable Theodor Seuss Geisel (aka Dr. Seuss) to the stage and sets them to song, reminding kids and adults that our weird imaginations are majestic.

While “family fun” too often means fart jokes or sucker punches to the groin, this show’s colorful costumes and tunes captivate the kiddos, and adults enjoy the performances of theater veterans and a renewed sense of childlike wonder. Seriously, don’t fight it. Seussical! runs through December 31 at the Coterie Theatre (2450 Grand, 816-474-6552). Tickets cost $15, or $10 for those 18 and younger, seniors and students. See coterietheatre.org for more information.

— ANGELA LUTZ

75th & Nieman 913-962-2323 adventuresportskc.com

M O N D AY

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12.5

[NIGHTLIFE]

Lessons starting every week! Ages 10 and older are eligible.

14 T H E P I T C H D E C E M B E R 1 - 7, 2 0 1 1 2 T H E P I T C H M O N T H X X–X X , 2 0 0 X

WEREWOLF BAR MITZVAH PARTY

Halloween ended weeks ago, and now we’re supposed to be jingle-bells-deep in the holidayspirit. Which doesn’t mean we don’t still pitch.com pitch.com

|

The Nutcracker is back (see Saturday).

Don Giovanni: the OG pimp (Wednesday).

crave a little spooky. If you’re looking for a trick in your treat, head to Cinemaphonic, every Monday from 11 p.m. to 3 a.m. at the Riot Room (4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179). This “sonic voyage through the screen of the mind” is brought to you by DJs Cyan Meeks and Stevie Cruz. No strangers to the macabre, filmmaker and visual artist Meeks and Hammerlord howler Cruz splice video projections of celluloid super creeps with monster mash-ups of the Dead Kennedys’ “Halloween” and the Skatt Brothers’ ominously funky disco hit “Walk the Night.” There’s no cover, so you should have no problem scaring up some dough to partake in the terrifyingly good drink specials, which include $2 wells.

— MEGAN METZGER

whatever at the junk drawer sculpture workshop at the Riverside Branch of the Mid-Continent Public Library (2700 Northwest Vivion Road, in Riverside, 816-741-6288). Convert your supply of too many useless items — bottle caps, jar lids, busted pens — into a work of art. Materials used to connect all the pieces are provided. You know you don’t need 80 percent of the stuff in that stupid drawer, anyway. The teen and young-adult event is free but requires sign-up at mymcpl.org. Call 816-741-6288 for more information.

— APRIL FLEMING

T U E S D AY

HIGH DRAMA

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12.6

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[LITERARY EVENT]

BEHIND THE TURTLENECK

Since his death in October, Apple co-founder and CEO Steve Jobs has been eulogized with reverence and awe, hailed as a visionary by tech geeks, design fetishists and common end-users, and decried as a demanding and pretentious asshole by spurned colleagues and PC devotees. Exploring the yin and yang of this complicated figure, Jobs biographer Walter Isaacson spent two years interviewing Jobs and his family, friends, contemporaries and adversaries to paint the definitive portrait of the tech guru. Isaacson offers his insights in a 7 p.m. conversation and presentation at Unity Temple on the Plaza (707 West 47th Street, 816-561-4466). Admission costs $35 and includes an author-autographed first-edition copy of Steve Jobs, and a chance to win an iPad 2. Because, you know, Jobs would want you to have one. For details and reservations, see rainydaybooks.com or call 913-384-3126.

— BRENT SHEPHERD [ARTS & CRAFTS]

TRASH TO TREASURE

Hoarders is one of the scariest shows on television. The monsters aren’t mysterious, anonymous things hiding in the dark but people on the verge of being consumed by their own stuff.

Don’t let it happen to you! Today at 4 p.m., protect yourself from the potential hoarder inside by repurposing your supply of useless

W E D N E S D AY

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12.7

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[PERFORMING ARTS]

The legend of Don Juan speaks of a debauched nobleman who took pleasure in defiling virgins and inciting violence among others.

Mozart’s version, Don Giovanni, combines comedy, tragedy and big vocal sound. The result is one of the most performed operatic productions (read: accessible and fairly easy to understand). Expand your cultural boundaries with a little Opera 101 at the Tivoli (4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-5222) when the theater’s Performing Arts Series continues with the showing of the opening night of Don Giovanni performed live at the La Scala Opera House in Milan. Tickets for the live broadcast cost $15 for adults, $13 for seniors and students, and $10 for UMKC students. Due to the time difference between here and Italy, the opera begins at 11 a.m. See tivolikc.com for more information. (The Tivoli also offers an encore showing at 1:30 p.m. Sunday, December 11.)

— BERRY ANDERSON Night + Day listings are offered as a free service to Pitch readers and are subject to space restrictions. Submissions should be addressed to Night + Day Editor Berry Anderson by e-mail (calendar@pitch.com), fax (816-756-0502) or mail (The Pitch, 1701 Main, Kansas City, MO 64108). Please include zip code with address.

Continuing items must be resubmitted monthly.

No submissions are taken by telephone. Items must be received two weeks prior to each issue date. Search our complete listings guide online.

P Weekly Restaurant Specials Here are just a few of the hottest deals being served up this week!

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Alexis Massage 1 HOUR MASSAGE FOR $35! ($70 VALUE)

WESTPORT FLEA MARKET 817 Westport Road 816-931-1986 westportfleamarket.com 1/2 Price Burgers & Alcohol Sunday 8pm-Clo

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SMOKIN GUNS BBQ & CATERING 1218 Swift Avenue 816-221-2535 smokingunsbbq.com $6.95 Lunch Special THE MAJESTIC RESTAURANT 931 Broadway 816-221-1888 majestickc.com Mon-Fri 2-6pm $5 on select food and wines

WHEAT STATE PIZZA 2820 W. 47th Avenue 913.281.9000 Any medium pizza $7.77 Catering, Delivery, Dine In and Carry Out

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D E C E M B E R 1 - 7, 2 0 1 1

THE PITCH

15

Marrakech Café

Fine Moroccan cuisine

in the heart of Westport

Brand New Restaurant In Overland Park

AUTHENTIC EL SALVADOREAN DISHES!

Serving breakfast, lunch and dinner Pupusas, Panes Rellanos, Tamales and more!

3 Course Dinner $12.95

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Sun - Thur: 9am - 9pm Fri-Sat: 9am-10pm

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COUNTRY CLUB PLAZA

448 West 47th Street | Kansas City (816) 531-6800

Artisan Breads • Restaurant • Gourmet Coffee • Pastries • Desserts

www.McCormickandSchmicks.com 16 52_MSSR_9-29_BrandRemod_QtrPg_4c.indd T H E P I T C H D E C E M B E R 1Kansas - 7,1 2 0 1City 1 pitch.com - The Pitch

Run Date 9-23-2011 Qtr Pg. (4.776” x 5.291”)

9/23/11 11:13 AM

café Cult Leaders THERE’S NO MESSING WITH THESE CRAZY SUCCESSES. ’m wearing black, a show of mourning for the three Kansas City restaurants scheduled to close forever December 1: Skies, the Peppercorn Duck Club and Benton’s Steakhouse. It’s always bittersweet when a restaurant that used to be a favorite ends a long and glorious run.

I actually shed a tear or two when Stephenson’s Old Apple Farm Restaurant closed in 2007. I mean, it wasn’t the kind of restaurant that was ever going to win a Michelin star, but the menu BY of old-fashioned comfort food had an evergreen appeal, and CHARLES the theme dining rooms were F E R R U Z Z A masterpieces of all-American kitsch. All right, the food and the décor had grown tired by the end — the last time I dined there, I walked out feeling like I had just visited a dying relative in a nursing home. Stephenson’s was already on life support.

Some old restaurants, like old soldiers, just fade away. But others go on and on like the Energizer Bunny. Some of these are beloved — even revered — for all the right reasons. Yet for every such place that has labored to generate a constant stream of regulars, there’s at least one old joint that sticks around almost in spite of itself, making no move toward innovation or renewal (or, sometimes, good food) while inexplicably packing ’em in. How? For crying out loud, why?

Well, it’s complicated. Some restaurants remain popular because of nostalgia. People grew up eating in some mediocre dining room, had their first date at a certain drive-in.

They might not return often to the restaurant in question — if they go back at all — but they need it to be around, an affirmation of their own continued existence.

It’s more than wistfulness for the bygone that keeps a handful of local restaurants in business, though. The more I thought about it, the more I understood that a few places enjoy a kind of cult following. In a couple of cases, it’s charming and understandable. In a couple of others, it’s baffling and borderline terrifying.

I’m talking unremarkable food, eye-searing décor, maybe a line cook who looks remarkably like someone you just saw on America’s Most Wanted.

These are modest establishments. The dining rooms are small, the overhead isn’t steep, and there’s no pretense. Maybe you love them because the foodies of the world don’t. The salads will never know the flavor of an heirloom tomato. The crème brûlée has never graced the dessert list. Local epicure Bonjwing Lee isn’t at the next table, taking iPhone pics of his dinner. Anthony Bourdain isn’t coming.

S A B R I N A S TA I R E S

I

Villa Capri 8126 Metcalf, Overland Park, 913-648-7770.

Hours: 11 a.m.–9 p.m. Tuesday–Friday, 4–9 p.m. Saturday and Sunday. Closed Monday.

Price: $–$$

In-a-Tub 4000 North Oak Trafficway, 816-452-2149.

Hours: 10:30 a.m.–9 p.m. Monday–Thursday, 11 a.m.–10 p.m. Friday–Saturday. Closed Sunday. Price: $–$$

Don Chilito’s 7017 Johnson Drive, Mission, 913-432-4615.

Hours: 11 a.m.–9 p.m. Monday–Thursday, 11 a.m.–10 p.m. Friday and Saturday, 11 a.m.–8 p.m. Sunday. Price: $–$$

Even Guy Fieri isn’t coming. And they’ve now outlasted award-winning Skies, Benton’s and the Peppercorn Duck Club.

To what unambitious survivors do I refer?

Let’s start with Tony’s Villa Capri restaurant, a place that some of my friends adore so much, they won’t hear a word against it. I know a few who shudder at the mention of the place, but you won’t ever hear me bad-mouth a restaurant that still has a black light and a glowin-the-dark mural. Tony Scudiero, who has operated the Overland Park restaurant for a half century, opened this version of the Villa Capri in 1961, when 81st Street and Metcalf was at the southern edge of the suburbs.

“When I was a teenager,” my friend Deb says, “this place was packed all the time. All the Johnson County kids came here because it was one of the only places on Metcalf where you could get pizza. And it looks just the same.”

There’s no shortage of pizza options on Metcalf now. Outside Villa Capri, development has rarely ceased. Inside, though, the clock has happily stopped. Want to know what an Italian restaurant looked like during the Kennedy administration? Here you go: checked vinyl tablecloths, paper napkins, Frank Sinatra’s voice emanating from a speaker. And if the chairman of the board himself wandered in, he’d have his choice of the usual three salad dressings: Italian, ranch and blue cheese (all still made in-house). What is this thing you call balsamic vinaigrette?

The Villa Capri is not merely a survivor. It’s the anti-Lidia’s, the Trezo Vino for the 99 per-

cent. Those fancy Italian upstarts serve a basket of artisan breads; Scudiero serves breadsticks made from pizza dough (delicious). No dinner here costs more than $11, and most of them include salad and bread.

The food here, even by working-class Southern Italian standards, isn’t glorious. (It tastes like my Aunt Jenny made it, which is truly damning it with faint praise.) And I’ll never order the gloppy baked mostaccioli again. But if you want the best Italian steak sandwich in town or a first-rate bowl of simple, unadorned spaghetti and meatballs, Scudiero still has some secrets worth keeping.

Another place left over from a simpler time and resting on its laurels as a high school hangout is the oddly named In-a-Tub. For years, whenever driving by its location near the airport, I wondered just what kind of “tub” the food was served in. It was time to find out.

“The name,” says David Hayden, blogger and lifetime Tub devotee (he claims to have eaten his first solid food in the original location), “comes from its original signature dish, soft-serve ice cream. All the teens from the Northland high schools came here after the football and basketball games.”

Today, that soft-serve ice cream comes only in the milkshakes offered at the two remaining In-a-Tub restaurants. These shakes are divine and come in some less-traditional flavors, such as butter-pecan and raspberry. (The butterscotch is milkshake nirvana.) But the signature In-a-Tub dish now is a greasy taco, sprinkled with that neon-orange powdered cheese used

in boxed macaroni mixes. Sound hideous?

It’s popular here — very popular. There’s also a version with non-powdered dairy, the “beef-and-cheez.” The woman at the counter assured me last week that it should satisfy purists. “It has a slice of American cheese at the bottom,” she said. “It’s real good.”

That pledge turned out to be something of a white lie. And I didn’t like the stiff, prefab fried burrito or the hot dogs here, either.

Northland natives are supposedly mad for In-a-Tub, but after three visits, its charm was lost on me. I developed a grudging affection for the loose-meat “pocket burgers,” which come on ordinary buns and are served tucked inside little envelope-like paper bags, but Mugs Up does these better. On the other hand, I know of no other place that promises pizza burgers, taco burgers, “chubby” corn dogs, and chili dogs that do, in fact, come in a tub. Also filling up tubs: fried chicken fingers and a cornucopia of deep-fried vegetables.

The North Oak Trafficway location, which opened in 1986, looks like a suburban recreation room, with its tawny wood paneling and greenhouse-style smoked-glass windows. “I come here because it’s so darn cheap,” said a woman standing next to me at the counter.

“Where else can you get a good meal for less than four dollars?”

Don’t ask me, lady. I’m still looking.

I do know where to find another zombie following for less-than-stellar tacos and burritos, though: across the state line in the hamlet of Mission at Don Chilito’s. continued on page 18

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D E C E M B E R 1 - 7, 2 0 1 1

Like In-a-Tub, it once had several area locations and used to serve as a teen hangout. (Shawnee Mission North High School is a few blocks away.) But this 40-year-old restaurant is a lot bigger and busier than In-a-Tub, and it has its own eccentricities.

Customers call out their orders while pushing a plastic tray down a cafeteria line, then experience the thrill of watching somber cooks assemble the tacos, burritos and other indelicacies on a plate. The plate is then shoved into one of the four commercial-grade microwave ovens behind the line. Don’t groan: This is how a lot of local Tex-Mex cantinas operate. Don Chilito’s simply puts it all out in the open.

The menu essentially hasn’t changed since the 1970s, though the prices have failed to stay the same. The Fiesta dinner, $4.95 in 1979, costs a stout $10.59 today. Customers still use metal tongs to snatch up their own corn tortilla chips — or sugary sopapillas — from the “chip bar,” with its selection of indistinct salsas. The dining room is a maze. “Just keep walking,” a friend instructed as I balanced my tray and looked for a place to attempt ingestion. “You’ll wind up somewhere.”

Don Chilito’s has remained a neighborhood staple for years, and people seem to love or hate the place, leaving no middle ground.

My friend Bob, who grew up eating here, adores the place and believes the Tex-Mex creations are delicious. Another friend says dining here is appealing only if he’s stoned.

“The Juarez Plate is especially delicious in an altered state,” he insists.

Me? I find the booths uncomfortable, the noise level unbearable and the food unmemorable. On my last visit to the restaurant, I bought three boxes of Girl Scout cookies from owner Barry Cowden’s granddaughter. They were the highlight of the meal.

I don’t know any restaurant in town pitch.com 2 THE PITCH

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YJ’s Snack Bar 128 West 18th Street, 816-472-5533.

Hours: Breakfast served 7:30 a.m.–10 a.m.

Monday–Wednesday; lunch served 11 a.m.– 4 p.m. Monday–Wednesday; dinner served 6–10 p.m. Monday–Wednesday. Food served continuously from 7:30 a.m. Thursday through midnight Sunday. Price: $–$$

that has more passionate — and stubborn — customers than Sharp’s, the gay-friendly, family-friendly home-style diner in Brookside. Owner Marty Junkins has hired at least two chefs over the past couple of years and charged them with updating the menu. Both times, regulars staged a revolt and succeeded in having the exiled dishes restored within days (and those upstart cooks are long gone).

I’m on the record as one who detests the dish that seems to be the fulcrum of these little revolutions, a water-chestnut soup that’s tasteless and grainy. It exerts a rapturous hold over people I otherwise trust, as does the space itself.

“It’s like Cheers,” my friend Troy says.

“Everyone knows your name!”

Yes, Sharp’s is a friendly place. But what good does remembering my name do if the servers don’t get my order right? In my experience, this was the case more often than not, though the service has improved greatly over the past year. The food? No. The breakfast offerings and sandwiches have never left me swooning, and I have yet to find a dish on the dinner menu that I even want to order.

But I’m clearly in the minority. My midtown neighbors find the place to be warm, comfortable and cheery. (It’s reportedly getting a stylish makeover; I’ll believe it when I see it.) “You have to be a hateful old queen not to love Sharp’s!” snapped an acquaintance when I complained that I just didn’t find the place all that lovable. Hand me my crown.

I’m told that disliking YJ’s Snack Bar, the excruciatingly hip dive in the Crossroads District, shows similar bad form. It’s not fair to judge the place as a restaurant — it’s meant to be a hangout — but I don’t hang out when I want to eat. I don’t have the patience. Yes, pitch.com

I’ve met a few interesting people here, but the eclectic space is small enough to induce claustrophobia. I can’t get to know the latest cool artistic type if I’m sitting on her lap, looking for the emergency exit.

My lack of enthusiasm for the snack shack dates to the moment I heard an especially pretentious and self-important Crossroads habitué claim to hold court here. “There’s no place like it in Kansas City,” she said, with theatrical fervor. “It’s Paris in the 1920s! It’s Gertrude Stein, Erik Satie!” At the time, I found it way closer to some B-movie version of a 1950s “beatnik” club in the Village: bongos, berets and beards.

For better and worse, YJ’s today can’t really be defined in any conventional way. It’s cozy and crowded with stuff (including a piano that takes up a quarter of the dining room), and it really is a fabulous place for people watching (better in warm weather, when you can do your gazing outside). Some important names, in local art circles anyway, really do hang out here, and I can understand the allure of coffee sipping and gossiping. For dining?

Not so much.

YJ’s has an extremely limited menu. The daily special, no matter what it is, is strongly encouraged by the staff. The one I tasted one recent day was extraordinary in concept: a Middle Eastern lunch plate with a mound of delicious couscous studded with ruby pomegranate seeds and golden raisins, a spoonful of a fiery pepper hummus, a tiny salad dotted with feta cheese and chopped cucumber. So far, so good. But there was a lump of dry white rice and, perched atop it, a knot-shaped hunk of lamb that was so dry, fatty and chewy, I was able to try a bite only with some effort. Just one bite, though.

There was a chicken version, too, with pieces of bird so dry and stringy, they might have been scraped from a plate served to Satie in the 1920s.

The dining room is cleaner than it looks through the grungy windows, but the place means to be disheveled, with stacks of magazines, beads, paintings and plastic grapes scattered here and there. It’s a kid’s clubhouse, powered by a different brand of nostalgia than the other spots. And, more than any other place mentioned here, it courts its cult status.

I’m not the sort of unconventional customer that YJ’s wants, but I now have a grudging respect for its popularity. It’s fiercely iconoclastic, from the décor to its imaginative specials. There’s nothing else like it in Kansas City (or in Paris).

None of these five restaurants really knock me out, but I’m in awe of the devotion that some diners have for them — it’s a kind of borderline-religious zeal that you shouldn’t question too much. I once asked a friend of mine, who had fallen in love with a man who had no obviously redeeming qualities, why him? “Because no one else can see what I see,” she said.

It’s the same for those chili dogs, burgers and tacos, that soup, and the habits that perpetuate them: a divine madness.

Have a suggestion for a restaurant The Pitch should review?

E-mail charles.ferruzza@pitch.com

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J O N AT H A N B E N D E R

he former office in the century-old City Ice Co. Building is a raw space. It has bare brick walls, exposed ducts and a garage door that looks out on Campbell Street.

But Craig Howard, standing on the plywood floor that he laid last week and sipping tea made in a nearby electric kettle, sees the potential for a very different kind of farmers market here at 900 East 21st Street, in a corner of the building that BY houses the City Arts Project.

“This shouldn’t be a driveJ O N AT H A N through area,” Howard says.

BENDER “To me, a market is kind of a regular thing that should be part of a neighborhood. And being so close to downtown, people here need a market.”

On a wall of what will become Howard’s Organic Fare and Vegetable Patch, he envisions the produce cooler filled with local greens, eggs, milk, meat and cheese. Bricks from a stack out back will define the market’s aisles. This will be a small farmers market — a hybrid of a cooperative and a neighborhood corner store.

“You don’t need a lot of options as long as your options are good, local and fresh,” says Howard, a cook at Blue Bird Bistro.

He plans to open in March of next year. Between now and then, he’s rolling out a membership system. For $60 a year, members receive an access code that enables them to enter the market. Inside, they’ll be able to shop, fill out a receipt and have their accounts debited for their purchases. The idea is what Howard calls a “quasi honor system,” although he also plans to install a camera and keep inventory, in order to track exactly what is bought and when.

“I want this to be accessible for families to eat well, and I think farmers are also really excited about the idea of having a market where they can come and drop off their product,” Howard says.

Since signing a lease on the space October 1, he has begun talking to local farmers, including the operators of Beau Solais Mushroom Farm and Campo Lindo Farms, about selling their wares inside his store. Howard also plans to stock organic grains and dry goods — basically everything you’d need for dinner.

“People in Kansas City should have a favorite farmer. They should know them, the way they know a restaurant has a certain dish, because that’s where a restaurant’s ingredients come from – the farm,” Howard says.

The vegetable patch is already taking shape on the one-acre lot adjacent to the nearly blocklong building. Howard has constructed a Hoop House where he intends to grow herbs and greens in raised beds. He was pounding stakes

BEST HAPPY HOUR

Craig Howard, inside the Hoop House he built next to City Arts Project.

into hard ground over the past few weeks in the shadow of Interstate 71.

“I’m building my own little world over here where everything can be made from scratch,” Howard says.

In the spring, Howard hopes to offer outdoor dinner parties in the garden two Sundays a month. His first four-course dinner was last month inside the main gallery at City Arts.

Twenty-four guests drank water from canning jars and ate food from wooden plates at three communal picnic tables that Howard built with his father, Paul Hartke. His mother, Denise Hartke, will be his bookkeeper, in what will no doubt be a family business.

“I love working at restaurants. But I don’t want to miss my dad’s Father’s Day brunch anymore,” Howard says.

Howard, who grew up in Gladstone, has worked at Blue Bird on and off for the past eight years. Thanks to an apprenticeship from Johnson County Community College, he got his start cooking on the line at the Doubletree (now the Crowne Plaza) in downtown Kansas City a decade ago. Work became his school, and he left JCCC. After he helped open the Bulldog, Howard wanted to learn about food outside of a bar and grill.

“I got hired at Le Fou Frog and the Blue Bird on the same day. It just kind of worked out for me,” Howard says. “I’ve always had the opportunity to work in independent restaurants and know the owners, even if that wasn’t my plan.”

He added shifts at Room 39 and began saving money to move to California. His first business, Howard’s Chocolate Syrup, helped him realize that goal. The syrup, made from blocks of Guittard chocolate, was sold locally at Whole Foods. (It will be available at his own market.)

“It’s the best syrup in the world,” Howard says. “I’m humble, but the syrup isn’t.”

It was on the West Coast that he found the inspiration for the shop that he’s building. For

close to a year, Howard toiled at Kern Family Farm, which runs a basement market beneath a local hardware store in North Fork, California.

“It was how food was supposed to be. The whole community got behind this place. Food doesn’t have to be hard,” Howard says.

Howard moved back to Kansas City in November 2010 and intended to work for several years before launching the market, but the space at the intersection of 21st and Campbell intrigued him.

“Craig was very realistic, and he has a lot of solid ideas for the space,” says Dave Dumay, who co-owns the City Arts Project with his father, Ron. “And he’s a chef at a great restaurant in town that we really enjoy.”

Dumay envisions a regular pairing of arts and eats. (Howard has catered artist openings at City Arts.) Howard hopes eventually to find a permanent kitchen space. He currently rents walk-in storage and kitchen time from the Independence Regional Ennovation Center.

“I want this to be able to support myself and the community and farmers. This should be good for me, but it should be good for everybody involved. That’s the way it should be,” Howard says.

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E-mail jonathan.bender@pitch.com Garden Dinner Craig Howard is offering a Garden Dinner at 6 p.m. Sunday, December 11. The four-course meal in the City Arts Project gallery (2015 Campbell) costs $50, plus an additional $25 for cocktail pairings by the Traveling Cocktail Club. (Past dishes have included poached eggs with an almond basil vinaigrette, and braised pork belly with garden greens and pickled tomatillo salsa — Howard’s version of a BLT.) If the dinner sells out, Howard plans to offer another dinner December 18. Make a reservation by e-mailing howardskcmo@gmail.com.

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music

Music Forecast 24 Concerts 25 Nightlife

26

Play It Again, Punk CHEAP BEER, A NEW VINYL COMP FROM THE REPLAY CROWD

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the pitch

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KENNETH KUPFER

T

he compact-disc sampler was once ubiquitous. A quick dig through a Kansas City-area clearance rack or bargain bin unearths compilations devoted to radio stations, record labels and various benefit causes. But BY today, digital players hold entire music libraries, with NICK room left over for the exS PA C E K tended edition of the complete Lord of the Rings trilogy.

CDs are coasters. The CD comp has gone the way of the buffalo.

Now that vinyl is again the medium of choice for discerning music fans, could the compilation concept be reimagined in LP form? The founders of Replay Records are thinking maybe. On Friday, they’re releasing Cheap Beer, a collection of songs from bands that largely hang out around the Replay Lounge and Jackpot Music Hall in Lawrence.

It’s the first compilation of local music on vinyl since Big Brown Shark’s 2005 collection, KC-DIY. The genesis of Cheap Beer was fairly simple, according to Replay Lounge proprietor Nick Carroll. Last May, during the Replay’s annual Spring Into Summer showcase, Mouthbreathers drummer and Replay sound guy Zach Campbell suggested that Carroll put out a compilation featuring local bands. “I remember thinking, ‘No, I hate those things,’” Carroll says. “But he said, ‘No, like a vinyl comp,’ and all of a sudden, it’s like, ‘That’s a good idea.’ ” “I just think that a lot of people collect records, and it seems that there’s not a lot of value in putting out a CD,” Carroll continues.

“Everyone just rips it, throws it away, and that’s it.”

Cheap Beer’s primary organizer (and Mouthbreathers guitarist) Brad Shanks says getting bands on the compilation was easy.

“When we told ’em we were gonna put out a comp on LP — like, you know, an actual record — people would get excited and want to be a part of it.”

The compilation features a selection of 15 local and regional bands. The sonic footprint for Cheap Beer is definitely one of a garageand punk-rock bent, which stands to reason because that’s the bread and butter for both

bars these days. There’s the post-hardcore angular attack of Der Todesking as well as the Hips’ indie-country tones, and the twoman metal attack of JabberJosh’s Gunnerson brothers. Lawrence garage-rock quartet Dry Bonnet ended up with its song “I Smell Bacon” on Cheap Beer because the band’s bassist, Seth Wiese, plays drums for Rooftop Vigilantes, which also has a track included. Several of Dry Bonnet’s members work at Jackpot or the Replay (Wiese is both a sound guy and a bartender at the Replay), and they were asked to contribute a track after one of the band’s early shows.

“Even though we are one of the newest bands in town, people like us well enough to let us participate,” Wiese says. “That’s pretty rad.”

Some tracks on Cheap Beer — like Kansas City punks Dark Ages’ “Why?” — aren’t new songs. (“Why?” appears on the band’s latest LP, Can America Survive?) “We didn’t want it to be an exclusive thing because the idea is to expose people to other bands’ music,” Shanks says. “And if people go, ‘Oh, I really like this song, and they’ve got a record with this song on it,’ then they can go get that record, you know? It’s kind of like a sampler, I guess you could say.”

Artist Leslie Kuluva, who is hand-screening T-shirts for the compilation’s release and doing the LP’s inserts, says those who listen to it get a chance to “maybe get a taste, if they pitch.com

haven’t already, of the blood, sweat and tears of our little Midwest scene.”

The cover art by Kenneth Kupfer is a slightly psychedelic and wild-eyed portrait of the Replay, like a mosaic viewed through beer goggles. Some of the characters populating the cover bear a slight resemblance to certain regulars at the bar. “The people in the picture are intended to look like several people. … It was intentionally mysterious,” Kupfer says. “Who do you think they are? makes it more fun.” (Kupfer is, however, willing to confirm that the “R” on the “BEER” of the cover art’s title is, in fact, vomiting.)

“This record is more than just another collection of random songs,” Kuluva says, summing up the feelings of ownership expressed by all the participants. “It literally makes me feel proud when I listen to it, even though it’s not me on there, and I’m nobody’s mom or anything. It feels a bit like a culmination of all the things and folks we’ve been trying to support and who have been supporting us.”

Shanks has a positive outlook for the future of Replay Records, thinking that if the label sells all of its initial 500 LPs, there will be future releases. “I’m not trying to look too far into the future,” Shanks says. “I don’t want to start counting my chickens before they hatch. But that’s what we’re all hoping for and what we all get excited about when we talk about it. Like, ‘Oh, what if we can start pitch.com

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putting out, like, actual 7-inches and records and just keep moving from there?’ Hopefully, we can do something good for the town, and KC as well, and see what happens.”

Southern Prine

S

inger-songwriter (and former Drive-By Trucker) Jason Isbell is half John Prine’s age, but together they make for a smart bill when they arrive at the Midland. Both tend to write about characters whose lives are often overlooked: the families of those killed in action (Prine’s “Hello in There,” Isbell’s “Dress Blues”), the families of those vets who come back to fight internal wars (Prine’s “Sam Stone,” Isbell’s “Soldiers Get Strange”). And they both find humor in the darkest moments — a hapless narrator watching a relationship fall apart, for instance.

“Prine does that really well,” Isbell tells The Pitch in a phone call from the road. “I’m still working on developing humor in my music. Normally, I don’t take anything too seriously. But when I sit down to write a song, I tend to get serious. So I’m trying to figure a way to mix those two things in my music.

“My parents were really funny when I told them about these dates,” Isbell continues. “My mom said, ‘You remem- continued on page 22

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Jason Isbell’s got those

ber when you were little, lying on a blanket end-of-the-laundry-cycle blues. and listening to John Prine?’ And I go, ‘I don’t remember that. I remember being stoned at 15 Gamble Brothers Band.” He adds, “As far as and listening to him.’ He certainly has been a I’m concerned, it doesn’t get much better than Ray Charles.” constant musically.”

When Isbell opens for Prine, he performs But comparisons with Prine don’t touch on everything there is to say about Isbell’s solo, just as he started out. And though he burgeoning career, which has landed him on acknowledges that his connection to the Late Show With David Letterman twice in the Southern rock-and-roll tradition is imporpast year (one time supporting Justin Townes tant to him, he sees himself fundamentally as Earle, another as the featured guest). In 2007, a songwriter. “I played music before I wrote, after leaving Drive-By Truckers, Isbell deliv- but I’ve always written stories and poems and ered a winning solo debut, Sirens in the Ditch. half-finished novels,” he says. “I might fit in It was followed by the introduction of his new more with the literary scene around Oxford, band on Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit in 2009, Mississippi, in the ’70s and ’80s, with folks like a studio record ornate enough to suggest his Barry Hannah and Larry Brown, than with the appreciation for Radiohead. For his new rec- original rock-and-rollers.”

Literary influences? “Well I’m on my third ord, Here We Rest, he has returned to a spare, time through Salman Rushdie’s Midnight’s traditional sound.

This latest shift came from the songs, Is- Children, and I always go back to [Cormac] McCarthy. In fact, I’m havbell says. “We’d spent more ing to go back and reread time at home before recordThe Border Trilogy for the ing this album. It was slowJason Isbell, with John Prine. sake of an argument with paced, and I spent a lot of Friday, December 2, my girlfriend [the fiddler time with my family, and I at the Midland. and songwriter Amanda started thinking about why Shires].”

I started playing in the first Much of Isbell’s public place — the gospel and the hillbilly music I listened to. I try really hard writing these days appears on Twitter, where he maintains an active presence. “I like the not to overthink the production.”

Still, Isbell repeatedly turns out songs with platform better than something like Facebook arrangements that stand as set pieces, in vari- because I can make a statement and then sit ous styles: the country soul of “Cigarettes and back in the corner and listen,” he says. “I’ve Wine,” the bluesy soul of “Hurricanes and probably written some things that weren’t that Hand Grenades” and, on the new album, a good of an idea. But I think it’s helped spread cover of Candi Staton’s B-side “Heart on a the word, and that’s always a good thing.”

Isbell has always spoken frankly, not shyString” and the New Orleans-flavored “Never Could Believe.” These moments, along with ing away from his concerns about the wars the band’s fairly regular Meters covers in con- overseas or the war on the poor here at home. cert, reveal a comfort with the elements of “I feel fairly well informed, and I’m not going American music not typically associated with to write about something I don’t know about.

For instance, I’m not going to write about white Americana acts.

This makes perfect sense to Isbell. “That what it’s like going to war because I haven’t was a big part of the music made here where been, but I will talk about the effects it has on we grew up — Aretha Franklin, Candi Sta- people here at home and on the soldiers themton, Wilson Pickett. I studied that stuff, and I selves. … I think people pay me for my opinion know everybody in our band did — our bassist, to some extent, or at least my outlook.”

— DANNY A LEXANDER Jimbo [Hart], and drummer, Chad [Gamble], in particular. Chad had an R&B band with his brother, who is an organ player, called the E-mail feedback@pitch.com 2

THE PITCH

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music forecast

White Rabbits White Rabbits make a strong case for Midwest rock bands decamping for the coasts.

The Columbia, Missouri, kids migrated to Brooklyn sometime around 2006, and by summer 2007, Pitchfork had slapped a Recommended on their debut, Fort Nightly. That record was a brassy, rhythmic, Walkmeninspired collection. The follow-up, 2009’s It’s Frightening, was a more pared-down affair, the handiwork of producer (and Spoon man) Britt Daniel. I dug the production style, but it left me hungry for a little more songwriting substance. It’s been about two years since that sophomore album, so this show ought to provide a glimpse of what to expect from Rabbits record No. 3.

Tuesday, December 6, at RecordBar (1020 Westport Road, 816-753-5207)

Wilco In 2002, Wilco released what is basically a perfect record (Yankee Hotel Foxtrot) that fractured the Chicago band’s subsequent relationship with critics — nothing seems to measure up. The very good follow-up, A Ghost Is Born, was spurned as too jammy and indulgent. More recent releases from frontman Jeff

Wilco (left), Matt and Kim

Tweedy and company have been maligned as “dad rock” and, in an October issue of New York magazine, “adult contemporary.” As a dyed-in-the-wool Wilco fan, I think I speak for a silent majority when I say: Yes, the group has gradually become less exciting over the past half-decade, and no, that does not deter me from purchasing and enjoying its albums, attending the excellent, sprawling live shows, and arguing that, when it’s all said and done, Wilco will be remembered as one of the undisputed greats of its generation.

Saturday, December 3, at the Uptown Theater (3700 Broadway, 816-753-8665)

Kinky Friedman Satire is the thread that runs through Kinky Friedman’s career. The Jewish Texan has composed and performed country songs, written books and magazine columns and, in 2006, run for governor of the Lone Star State.

(He lost to Rick Perry, a man whose behavior we have come to learn is not intentionally satirical.) Friedman stops by Knuckleheads this week as part of his 2011 Hanukkah Tour. He’s performing songs like “Ride ’Em Jewboy,” doing some political commentary and reading from one of his books. I’d imagine that he

has an interesting take on the current crop of Republican presidential candidates as well.

Thursday, December 1, at Knuckleheads Saloon (2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456)

The Night the Buzz Stole Christmas Hand it to KRBZ 96.5 (the Buzz): In 2011, the alt-rock radio station has brought to town Sleigh Bells, Neon Indian, the Hold Steady and Social Distortion, among others. For these holiday shows, the station is working with a fairly refined formula: popular but unexciting headliner, a couple of well-liked (but less popular) second-tier indie acts in the middle, and a local band to open the evening. Nothing here blows me away. (Surfer Blood comes close.) But as far as something for everyone goes, these are worthy lineups. Monday: Florence + the Machine, Two Door Cinema Club, Cowboy Indian Bear; Tuesday: 311, the Naked and the Famous, Surfer Blood, Soft Reeds, DJ Soulman; Wednesday: Flogging Molly, Matt and Kim, Company of Thieves, Antennas Up. Monday, December 5–Wednesday, December 7, at the Midland (1228 Main, 816-283-9921)

FORECAST KEY

BY D AV I D H U D N A L L

24

the pitch

D E C E M B E R 1 - 7, 2 0 1 1

...................................Pick of the Week

................................Immaculate Sound

......... Awkward Backstage Encounters

...........................................Missourians

................................... Probable Yiddish

...................Young Urban Professionals

.......................................... Brooklynites

.............................. Borscht References

...................... Support Corporate Radio

......................... Grown-Ass Rock Music

..................................Angsty Teenagers

........................Unlikely Cultural Fusion

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MONTH

concerts Nightlife listings are offered as a service to Pitch readers and are subject to space restrictions. Contact Clubs Editor Abbie Stutzer by e-mail (abbie.stutzer@pitch .com), fax (816-756-0502) or phone (816-218-6926).

Continuing items must be resubmitted monthly.

THIS WEEK THURSDAY, DEC. 1 Deas Vail, Sick of Sara, Now, Now: 9 p.m. RecordBar, 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207.

Kinky Friedman: 8:30 p.m. Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456.

Kevin Hart: 7:30 & 10 p.m. Improv Comedy Club and Dinner Theater, 7260 N.W. 87th St., 816-759-5233.

106.5 the Wolf Acoustic Christmas with Bucky Covington, Gloriana, Casey James, James Wesley: 6:30 p.m. The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560.

Reno Divorce, Them Damned Young Livers, Whiskey Breath: 9 p.m. The Riot Room, 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179.

FRIDAY, DEC. 2 Boombox, Somasphere: 8:30 p.m. The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390.

Chubby Carrier and the Bayou Swamp Band: Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456.

Kevin Hart: 9:45 & 11:45 p.m. Improv Comedy Club and Dinner Theater, 7260 N.W. 87th St., 816-759-5233.

Rob Little: 7:30 p.m. Improv Comedy Club and Dinner Theater, 7260 N.W. 87th St., 816-759-5233.

John Prine, Jason Isbell: 8 p.m. The Midland, 1228 Main, 816-283-9900.

SATURDAY, DEC. 3 Bass-Capades: At Dawn We Rage, Spankalicious, Azoic Relm: The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390.

Chubby Carrier and the Bayou Swamp Band: Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456.

The Fling, Yukon Blonde, Me Like Bees, the New Inhabitants: 9 p.m. The Riot Room, 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179.

Kevin Hart: 9:45 & 11:45 p.m. Improv Comedy Club and Dinner Theater, 7260 N.W. 87th St., 816-759-5233.

Rob Little: 7 p.m. Improv Comedy Club and Dinner Theater, 7260 N.W. 87th St., 816-759-5233.

Solstice Celebration: A Festival of Lights with Turtle Island Quartet: 8 p.m. Yardley Hall at JCCC, 12345 College Blvd., Lenexa, 913-469-8500.

Rick Springfield: 8 p.m. The Midland, 1228 Main, 816283-9900.

Jessie Torrisi & the Please Please Me, Nicolette Paige: 9 p.m. Czar, 1531 Grand, 816-221-2244.

Wilco: Sold out. Uptown Theater, 3700 Broadway, 816753-8665.

SUNDAY, DEC. 4 Rob Little: 7 p.m. Improv Comedy Club and Dinner Theater, 7260 N.W. 87th St., 816-759-5233.

Kenny Rogers: The Midland, 1228 Main, 816-283-9900.

MONDAY, DEC. 5 Brandi Carlile, Secret Sisters: The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560.

Florence + the Machine, Two Door Cinema Club, Cowboy Indian Bear: Sold out. The Midland, 1228 Main, 816-283-9900.

TUESDAY, DEC. 6 311, the Naked and Famous, Surfer Blood, Soft Reeds, DJ Soulman: The Midland, 1228 Main, 816-283-9900.

White Rabbits: 9 p.m. RecordBar, 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207.

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 7 Dance Gavin Dance, Isetmyfriendsonfire, A Loss for Words, Our Last Night, We are the Ocean, the Bunny the Bear: The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560.

Flogging Molly, Matt and Kim, Company of Thieves, Antennas Up: The Midland, 1228 Main, 816-283-9900.

The Knux, Jordy Towers: 9 p.m. The Riot Room, 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179.

Brian Setzer, Slim Jim Phantom: Uptown Theater, 3700 Broadway, 816-753-8665.

Wheeler Brothers, Gas Pump Talent: 9 p.m. RecordBar, 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207.

Zechs Marquise: Jackpot Music Hall, 943 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-832-1085.

UPCOMING Allstar Weekend, the After Party: Sat., Jan. 14, 5:30 p.m.

The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560.

As I Lay Dying, Of Mice and Men, The Ghost Inside, Sylosis, iwrestledabearonce: Thu., Dec. 8. The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560.

Emilie Autumn: Wed., Jan. 25. The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560.

Big Smith, Brothers Green: Sat., Dec. 17, 8 p.m. The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560.

Black Label Society, Texas Hippie Coalition, Hammerlord: Sat., Dec. 10. The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560.

Boondox, Cousin Cleetus, the Drp, Mars, Wicked Wayz, Freddy Grimes, Deranged: Tue., Jan. 17. The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560.

Anthony Bourdain: Fri., Dec. 16. The Midland, 1228 Main, 816-283-9900.

Cedric the Entertainer: Sun., Dec. 11. The Midland, 1228 Main, 816-283-9900.

Children of Bodom, Eluveitie, Revocation, Threat Signal: Mon., Feb. 6. The Granada, MANY MORE 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390.

The Civil Wars: Tue., Jan. 17. Liberty Hall, 644 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-1972.

ONLINE AT Digital Leather, Going to PITCH.COM Hell in a Leather Jacket: Thu., Dec. 8. Replay Lounge, 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-7676.

Jeff Dunham: Controlled Chaos: Thu., Feb. 2. Sprint Center, 1407 Grand, 816-283-7300.

Bleu Edmondson, County Road 5: Thu., Dec. 8. The Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-841-5483.

The Fray: Sun., Dec. 18. The Midland, 1228 Main, 816283-9900.

Jack’s Mannequin, Jukebox the Ghost, Allen Stone: Fri., Jan. 20. The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560.

The Kansas City Jazz Orchestra with Kevin Mahogany: Sat., Dec. 10. Liberty Hall, 644 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-1972.

Mat Kearney: Tue., Feb. 7. The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560.

The Kills, Jeff the Brotherhood, Hunters: Sat., Jan. 21.

The Midland, 1228 Main, 816-283-9900.

The Lemonheads: Fri., Jan. 27. The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390.

Raul Malo and Band: Fri., Dec. 16, 9 p.m. Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456.

Merry Kissmas featuring Almost Kiss: Fri., Dec. 16, 7 p.m.

The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560.

Me Talk Pretty, Madina Lake, Hell or Highwater, New Years Day: Thu., Dec. 15. The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390.

Jerrod Niemann, Tyler Farr: Fri., Dec. 9, 7 p.m. The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560.

Brad Paisley: Thu., Jan. 19, 7:30 p.m. Sprint Center, 1407 Grand, 816-283-7300.

Puddle of Mudd, Halestorm, Adelitas Way, Black Tide, Landsdowne: Thu., Dec. 8. The Midland, 1228 Main, 816-283-9900.

Billy Joe Shaver: Sun., Jan. 15, 8:30 p.m. Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456.

JD Souther: Sat., Jan. 28. Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456.

Steel Panther, Rev Theory, Red Line Chemistry: Sat., Dec. 17. The Midland, 1228 Main, 816-283-9900.

Trans-Siberian Orchestra: Sun., Dec. 18, 3 & 7:30 p.m.

Sprint Center, 1407 Grand, 816-283-7300.

The Wilders: Fri., Dec. 16. Liberty Hall, 644 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-1972.

FIND

CONCERT LISTINGS

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Each week, P Street Team cruises around to the hottest clubs, bars and concerts. You name it, we will be there.

While we are out, we hand out tons of cool stuff. So look for the Street Team...

We will be looking for you!

11/30 - 12/6

Bar & Grill WED: Open Jam w/ Syncopation 6pm THU: Ladies Night FRI: KARAOKE, DJ & Drink Specials SAT: Tracy Allison Band 8pm SUN: Open Jam w/ Syncopation 6pm MON: closed TUE: OPEN MIC Acoustic Jam 7pm

15510 State Ave, Basehor, KS 66007 • 913.662.7474 www.bleacherskc.com

nightlife T H U R S DAY 1 ROCK/POP/INDIE Replay Lounge: 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-7676. Black Christmas, Devil Television, 1,000,000 Light Years, 10 p.m.

BLUES/FUNK/SOUL B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427.

Samantha Fish Blues Band.

Jazz: 1823 W. 39th St., 816-531-5556. Grand Marquis.

Jazzhaus: 926-1/2 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-7491387. Ryan Engel & the Dirty Dishes.

The Phoenix Jazz Club: 302 W. Eighth St., 816-2215299. Rod Fleeman and Dan Bliss.

Trouser Mouse: 625 N.W. Mock Ave., Blue Springs, 816220-1222. Levee Town.

DJ Mosaic Lounge: 1331 Walnut, 816-679-0076. Mike Scott and Spinstyles.

The Riot Room: 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179. Mike DiLeo, Nate Chapman, Trevor Shaw, 11:30 p.m., free.

Saints Pub + Patio: 9720 Quivira, Lenexa, 913-4923900. DJ Brad Sager.

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ACOUSTIC Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club: 3402 Main, 816-7531909. Phil Wang, 7:30 p.m.

JAZZ 1911 Restaurant & Lounge: 1911 Main, 816-5270200. Mark Lowrey and drums.

The Blue Room: 1616 E. 18th St., 816-474-8463. Bill Crain Quartet, 7 p.m.

Great Day Café: 7921 Santa Fe Dr., Overland Park.

Customer Quartet, 7 p.m.

Jardine’s: 4536 Main, 816-561-6480. Sons of Brasil, 8 p.m.

Rockabilly Conspiracy with The Rumblejetts @ Uptown

WORLD

Rockabilly Conspiracy with The Rumblejetts @ Uptown

The Daily P. Only at p

ing with the Thanksgiv@ ptown Schwag U

Upcoming Events

12.3 - Wilco @ Uptown 12.3 - Rick Springfield @ Indie 12.6 - 311 @ Indie 12.7 - Brian Setze’s Rockabilly Riot @ Uptown

THE PITCH

D E C E M B E R 1 - 7, 2 0 1 1

DRUNKEN DISTRACTIONS/COMEDY/ BAR GAMES Bulldog: 1715 Main, 816-421-4799. Brodioke, 9 p.m.

The Buzz Coffee and Bar: 12056 W. 135th St, Overland Park. ABCs of Improv Comedy Show, 9 p.m.

Buzzard Beach: 4110 Pennsylvania, 816-753-4455.

Trivia, Ladies’ Night, 7 p.m.

Double Nickel Bar: 189 S. Rogers, Ste. 1614, Olathe, 913-390-0363. Texas Hold ’em.

Fuel: 7300 W. 119th St., Overland Park, 913-451-0444.

Bike Night with the Star Blues Band.

Hamburger Mary’s: 101 Southwest Blvd., 816-8421919. Charity Bingo with Valerie Versace, 8 p.m.

Hurricane Allie’s Bar and Grill: 5541 Merriam Dr., Shawnee, 913-217-7665. Ultimate DJ Karaoke, 8:30 p.m.

Jake’s Place Bar and Grill: 12001 Johnson Dr., Shawnee, 913-962-5253. Trivia.

Johnny’s Tavern: 13410 W. 62nd Terr., Shawnee, 913962-5777. Live Trivia, 9 p.m.

Johnny’s Tavern: 8262 Mission, Prairie Village, 913901-0322. Boogie Bingo, 8 p.m.

JR’s Place: 20238 W. 151st St., Olathe, 913-254-1307.

Karaoke with Mad Mike, 9:30 p.m.

Missie B’s: 805 W. 39th St., 816-561-0625. Karaoke on the main floor, 10 p.m.

MoJo’s Bar & Grill: 1513 S.W. Hwy. 7, Blue Springs. Pool and dart leagues; happy hour, free pool, 4-6 p.m.

RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Trivia Clash, 7 p.m., $5.

Saints Pub + Patio: 9720 Quivira, Lenexa, 913-4923900. Ladies’ Night.

Skeeter’s: 6505 Nieman Rd., Merriam, 913-912-1191.

TakeOver Thursdays with Mysunderstood, 8 p.m.

Westport Flea Market: 817 Westport Rd., 816-9311986. Trivia, 9 p.m.

EASY LISTENING Jerry’s Bait Shop: 13412 Santa Fe Trail Dr., Lenexa, 913894-9676. Interactive Acoustic with Jason Kayne, 9 p.m.

Checker Cab & City Cab the Offical Cab of P Street Team 816-444-4444 26

The Levee: 16 W. 43rd St., 816-561-2821. Live Reggae with AZ-ONE.

OPEN MIC/JAM SESSIONS Czar: 1531 Grand, 816-221-2244. Vi Tran and Katie Gilchrist’s Weekly Jam, 10 p.m.

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Jerry’s Bait Shop: 302 S.W. Main, Lee’s Summit, 816525-1871. Jerry’s Jam Night, 9 p.m.

VARIET Y The Bottleneck: 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785841-5483. Nipsey Hu$$le presented by CrazyBoy Status, Josh Sallee with Adam Case, Gee Watts.

Coda: 1744 Broadway, 816-569-1747. Deerwolfanimalbear.

The Roxy: 7230 W. 75th St., Overland Park, 913-2366211. Live music.

F R I DAY 2 ROCK/POP/INDIE Bar West: 7174 Renner Rd., Shawnee, 913-248-9378.

Drew6.

The Beaumont Club: 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-5612560. Kansas City Rock and Metal Fest: Bleeding the Heavens, 12 Gauge Choir, Seven, Collapse, Dented Fingers, Hate Incorporated, 7 p.m.

Czar: 1531 Grand, 816-221-2244. Various Blonde (digital release), Parts of Speech, Appropriate Grammar, the Jorge Arana Trio, 9 p.m.

Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club: 3402 Main, 816-7531909. Brian Ruskin Quartet, Rob Foster and the Dudes, Humans.

Jerry’s Bait Shop: 13412 Santa Fe Trail Dr., Lenexa, 913-894-9676. Red Eyed Bob Band.

Jerry’s Bait Shop: 302 S.W. Main, Lee’s Summit, 816525-1871. Saucy Jack.

1911 Restaurant & Lounge: 1911 Main, 816-5270200. John Velgne and the Prodigal Sons.

RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Gentleman Savage, Tim York, Touch People, 9 p.m.

The Riot Room: 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179. Scattered Trees, Quiet Corral, Envy Corps, 8 p.m.

BLUES/FUNK/SOUL B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427.

John McNally Band.

The Blue Room: 1616 E. 18th St., 816-474-8463.

Indigo Hour featuring Lee Langston & the Prototype, 5:30 p.m.

Jazz: 1823 W. 39th St., 816-531-5556. Cold Sweat.

The Levee: 16 W. 43rd St., 816-561-2821. The Groove Agency, 10 p.m.

Pat’s Pub: 1315 Swift Ave., North Kansas City, 816-4718752. Billy Ebeling.

MANY MORE The Phoenix Jazz Club: 302 W. Eighth St., 816-2215299. Dan Doran Band, 9 p.m.

R Bar & Restaurant: 1617 Genessee, 816-471-1777.

ONLINE AT Anna Lee and the Lucky So PITCH.COM and Sos. RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Shannon and the Rhythm Kings, 6 p.m.

Tonahill’s South: 10817 E. Truman Rd., Independence, 816-252-2560. Roadhouse Band, 8 p.m.

FIND

CLUB LISTINGS

ROOTS/COUNTRY/BLUEGRASS Coda: 1744 Broadway, 816-569-1747. Jason Vivone and the Billy Bats.

Fat Fish Blue: 7260 N.W. 87th St., 816-759-3474.

Outlaw Jim & the Whiskey Benders.

Jazzhaus: 926-1/2 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-7491387. Ashes to Immortality.

Wil Jenny’s Tables and Tap: 6700 W. 135th St., Overland Park, 913-897-1114. Gerry Lincoln.

DJ The Bottleneck: 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785841-5483. Bear Club Winter Ball.

Buddha: 8741 N.W. Prairie View Rd. Fusion Friday: DJ Nuveau.

Club Monaco: 334 E. 31st St., 816-753-5990. DJ Soap.

Mosaic Lounge: 1331 Walnut, 816-679-0076. Mosaic Fridays: hosted by Joe Perez featuring DJ Spinstyles and DJ Mike Scott.

Raoul’s Velvet Room: 7222 W. 119th St., Overland Park, 913-469-0466. DJ Xclusive.

Saints Pub + Patio: 9720 Quivira, Lenexa, 913-4923900. DJ Naylor.

ACOUSTIC Replay Lounge: 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785749-7676. Adam Lee, Pete Stein, Tyler Gregory, 6 p.m.

JAZZ The Blue Room: 1616 E. 18th St., 816-474-8463. Ken Lovern’s OJT, 8:30 p.m.

Californos: 4124 Pennsylvania, 816-531-7878. Rich Hill.

Jardine’s: 4536 Main, 816-561-6480. Friends of Ida McBeth, 8 p.m.

Lucky Brewgrille: 5401 Johnson Dr., Mission, 913-4038571. Live jazz, 7 p.m.

The Phoenix Jazz Club: 302 W. Eighth St., 816-2215299. Lonnie McFadden, 4:30 p.m.

Thai Place: 9359 W. 87th St., Overland Park, 913-6495420. Jerry Hahn.

AMERICANA Trouser Mouse: 625 N.W. Mock Ave., Blue Springs, 816220-1222. The Hipnecks.

DRUNKEN DISTRACTIONS/COMEDY/ BAR GAMES The Brick: 1727 McGee, 816-421-1634. Dear Diary, 8 p.m., $5.

ComedyCity at Westport Flea Market: 817 Westport Rd., 816-842-2744. Major League Improv, 7:30 p.m.

Hurricane Allie’s Bar and Grill: 5541 Merriam Dr., Shawnee, 913-217-7665. Ultimate DJ Karaoke, 8:30 p.m.

JR’s Place: 20238 W. 151st St., Olathe, 913-254-1307.

Debbioke, 9:30 p.m.

Missie B’s: 805 W. 39th St., 816-561-0625. The Early Girlie Show, 8 p.m., free; Ab Fab Fridays on the main floor, 10 p.m.

MoJo’s Bar & Grill: 1513 S.W. Hwy. 7, Blue Springs.

Happy hour, free pool, 4-6 p.m.

Retro Downtown Drinks & Dance: 1518 McGee, 816421-4201. Trivia Riot, 7 p.m.

Sharks: 10320 Shawnee Mission Pkwy., Merriam, 913268-4006. Dart tournament, 8 p.m.

Westport Flea Market: 817 Westport Rd., 816-9311986. Deelightful karaoke, 9 p.m.

Wilde’s Chateau 24: 2412 Iowa, Lawrence, 785-8561514. Dance Party.

SINGER-SONGWRITER Great Day Café: 7921 Santa Fe Dr., Overland Park. KC Songwriters Circle, 7 p.m.

VARIET Y Aftershock Bar & Grill: 5240 Merriam Dr., Merriam, 913-384-5646. Toyz in the Hood featuring Wicked Wayz, and more.

Jackpot Music Hall: 943 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-832-1085. Replay Records present Cheap Beer featuring Mouthbreathers, Der Todesking, the Spook Lights, Jabber Josh, Dry Bonnet, 8 p.m.

S AT U R DAY 3 ROCK/POP/INDIE The Beaumont Club: 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-5612560. Kansas City Rock and Metal Fest: Burning Tide, Suicide Theory, Second Chance, Levein, Second Signal, Cimino, 7 p.m.

Bleachers Bar & Grill: 210 S.W. Greenwich Dr., Lee’s Summit, 816-623-3410. The Rehabaneros.

The Brooksider: 6330 Brookside Plz., 816-363-4070.

Rattle and Hum. Coda: 1744 Broadway, 816-569-1747. The New Lost Souls, Think Like Computers, Man Bear, 9:30 p.m.

Danny’s Bar and Grill: 13350 College Blvd., Lenexa, 913-345-9717. Supercell & the TrebleMakers.

Jake’s Place Bar and Grill: 12001 Johnson Dr., Shawnee, 913-962-5253. Live music.

Jerry’s Bait Shop: 13412 Santa Fe Trail Dr., Lenexa, 913-894-9676. The M80s.

Jerry’s Bait Shop: 302 S.W. Main, Lee’s Summit, 816525-1871. The Clique.

The Levee: 16 W. 43rd St., 816-561-2821. Camp Harlow, 5 p.m.

RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. On the Record, 6 p.m.; Actors & Actresses, Loss Leader, Sona, 9 p.m.

BLUES/FUNK/SOUL B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427.

Mama Ray Jazz Meets Blues Jam, 2 p.m.; Billy Ebeling and the Late For Dinner Band, 9 p.m.

The Bottleneck: 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785841-5483. The Will Nots.

Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club: 3402 Main, 816-7531909. Jah Wheel, Velvet Hummer, Joey Skidmore Band.

Fat Fish Blue: 7260 N.W. 87th St., 816-759-3474.

Frank Ace Blues Band.

The Levee: 16 W. 43rd St., 816-561-2821. The Groove Agency, 10 p.m.

Love Garden Sounds: 822 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-843-1551. Replay Records release party for Cheap Beer featuring Fag Cop, Rooftop Vigilantes, 6:30 p.m.

The Phoenix Jazz Club: 302 W. Eighth St., 816-2215299. Rick Bacus and Monique Danielle, 4:30 p.m.; the Garrett Nordstrom Situation, 9 p.m.

Tonahill’s South: 10817 E. Truman Rd., Independence, 816-252-2560. Roadhouse Band, 8 p.m.

Trouser Mouse: 625 N.W. Mock Ave., Blue Springs, 816220-1222. Terry Quiett Band.

ROOTS/COUNTRY/BLUEGRASS R Bar & Restaurant: 1617 Genessee, 816-471-1777.

Phantoms of the Opry.

Wil Jenny’s Tables and Tap: 6700 W. 135th St., Overland Park, 913-897-1114. Travis Marvin.

DJ The Eighth Street Taproom: 801 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-841-6918. Saturday Soulclap with Josh Powers.

Saints Pub + Patio: 9720 Quivira, Lenexa, 913-4923900. DJ Brad Sager.

77 South: 5041 W. 135th St., Overland Park, 913-7427727. DJ Andrew Northern.

VooDoo Lounge: Harrah’s Casino, 1 Riverboat Dr., North Kansas City, 816-472-7777. DJ Stonerokk.

The Well: 7421 Broadway, 816-361-1700. DJ Ashton Martin.

JAZZ 1911 Restaurant & Lounge: 1911 Main, 816-5270200. Everette DeVan Trio.

The Brick: 1727 McGee, 816-421-1634. Malachy Papers, Mike Dillon, James Singleton, Mark Southerland, Hermon Mehari Trio.

Jazz: 1823 W. 39th St., 816-531-5556. Heather Thornton Band.

WORLD Jazzhaus: 926-1/2 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-7491387. Yuca Roots.

DRUNKEN DISTRACTIONS/COMEDY/ BAR GAMES ComedyCity at Westport Flea Market: 817 Westport Rd., 816-842-2744. Major League Improv, 7:30 p.m.; ComedyCity After Dark, 10 p.m.

Johnny’s Tavern: 6765 W. 119th St., Leawood, 913-4514542. Trivia Bingo, 9 p.m.

Johnny’s Tavern: 10384 S. Ridgeview Rd., Olathe, 913378-0744. X-treme Trivia, 9 p.m.

Missie B’s: 805 W. 39th St., 816-561-0625. Dirty Dorothy on the main floor, 10 p.m.

MoJo’s Bar & Grill: 1513 S.W. Hwy. 7, Blue Springs.

Happy hour, free pool, 4-6 p.m.

The Roxy: 7230 W. 75th St., Overland Park, 913-2366211. Villains Dance.

Wallaby’s Grill and Pub: 9562 Lackman, Lenexa, 913541-9255. Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Westport Flea Market: 817 Westport Rd., 816-9311986. Deelightful Karaoke, 9 p.m.

EASY LISTENING Johnny’s Tavern: 8262 Mission, Prairie Village, 913901-0322. Jason Kayne, 10 p.m.

OPEN MIC/JAM SESSIONS Knuckleheads Saloon: 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456.

Open jam with Billy Ebeling and Duane Goldston, 1 p.m.

VARIET Y Replay Lounge: 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785749-7676. Major Games, Muscle Worship, Nature Boys, 10 p.m.

S U N DAY 4 BLUES/FUNK/SOUL B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427.

Lee McBee and the Confessors.

Fat Fish Blue: 7260 N.W. 87th St., 816-759-3474.

Shades of Jade.

DJ Hamburger Mary’s: 101 Southwest Blvd., 816-8421919. Recycled music with Brett Dietrich, 3:30 p.m.

ACOUSTIC Tomfooleries: 612 W. 47th St., 816-753-0555. Phil and Gary, 9 p.m.

Willow Spring Mercantile: 249 E. Broadway, Excelsior Springs. Erik Karlsson, 1 p.m.

JAZZ Jazz: 1823 W. 39th St., 816-531-5556. Dan Bliss.

RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. The People’s Liberation Big Band CD release, performance of The Nutcracker and the Mouse King.

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DRUNKEN DISTRACTIONS/COMEDY/ BAR GAMES

Kansas City “Knuckleheads is Kansas City’s premier roots music venue of the last 30 years.” - Bill Brownlee KC Star Voted KC’s Best Live Music Venue 6 years running

November 30

Bill Larson Benefit December 1

Kinky Friedman The Hanukkah Tour

The Bottleneck: 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785841-5483. Smackdown Trivia and Karaoke.

Clarette Club: 5400 Martway, Mission, 913-384-0986.

Texas Hold ’em, 7 & 10 p.m.

The Fox and Hound: 10428 Metcalf Ave., Overland Park, 913-649-1700. Poker, 7 & 10 p.m.

Fuel: 7300 W. 119th St., Overland Park, 913-451-0444.

SIN. Hurricane Allie’s Bar and Grill: 5541 Merriam Dr., Shawnee, 913-217-7665. Double Deuce Poker League, 4 p.m.; Ultimate DJ Karaoke, 8:30 p.m.

Jake’s Place Bar and Grill: 12001 Johnson Dr., Shawnee, 913-962-5253. Free pool, 3 p.m.

JR’s Place: 20238 W. 151st St., Olathe, 913-254-1307.

Karaoke with Mad Mike, 9:30 p.m.

McFadden’s Sports Saloon: 1330 Grand, 816-4711330. Sindustry Sundays, 8 p.m.

Missie B’s: 805 W. 39th St., 816-561-0625. Dirty Dorothy on the main floor, 10 p.m.; Show Stopper Karaoke, 12:30 a.m.

Saints Pub + Patio: 9720 Quivira, Lenexa, 913-4923900. Free pool.

Trouser Mouse: 625 N.W. Mock Ave., Blue Springs, 816220-1222. Paul Shields Night of Hilarity.

Wallaby’s Grill and Pub: 9562 Lackman, Lenexa, 913541-9255. Texas Hold ’em, 6 & 9 p.m.

VARIET Y

Chubby Carrier with Levery Town December 16

Raul Malo

Ernie Biggs Dueling Piano Bar: 4115 Mill, 816-5612444. Local Music Sunday, DJ Dropout Boogie,8 p.m.

M O N DAY 5 ROCK/POP/INDIE Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club: 3402 Main, 816-7531909. Uncouth, Continental, 8 p.m., free.

The Riot Room: 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179. Cherokee Rock Rifle (video shoot), Supermassive Black Holes, the Delighted, 9 p.m., free.

Tomfooleries: 612 W. 47th St., 816-753-0555. The Goods.

BLUES/FUNK/SOUL The Phoenix Jazz Club: 302 W. Eighth St., 816-2215299. Millie Edwards and Michael Pagan, 7 p.m.

DJ Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club: 3402 Main, 816-7531909. One Eye Jacks with DJs Ilya & Troy, 10 p.m.

The Riot Room: 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179. Cinemaphonic with DJ Stevie Cruz, DJ Cyan Meeks, 11 p.m.

JAZZ

jaNuary 15

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816-483-1456 2715 Rochester KCMO Free Shuttle in the Downtown Area TICKETS NOW ON SALE AT knuckleheadsKC.COM 28

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BLUES/FUNK/SOUL Jazz: 1823 W. 39th St., 816-531-5556. Billy Ebeling.

Knuckleheads Saloon: 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456.

Gospel Lounge with Carl Butler, 7:30 p.m.

The Levee: 16 W. 43rd St., 816-561-2821. The Lonnie Ray Blues Band, 9:30 p.m.

Trouser Mouse: 625 N.W. Mock Ave., Blue Springs, 816220-1222. Shinetop Jr.

T U E S DAY 6

ROOTS/COUNTRY/BLUEGRASS

ROCK/POP/INDIE

Knuckleheads Saloon: 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456.

The Raildogs, Brother Bagman.

Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club: 3402 Main, 816-7531909. The Cave Girls, Bad Ideas, B.O.D., 8 p.m.

Jerry’s Bait Shop: 13412 Santa Fe Trail Dr., Lenexa, 913-894-9676. Travelers Guild.

Jerry’s Bait Shop: 302 S.W. Main, Lee’s Summit, 816525-1871. Drew6.

Tomfooleries: 612 W. 47th St., 816-753-0555. The Transients, 9 p.m.

BLUES/FUNK/SOUL B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427.

Trampled Under Foot.

Harleys & Horses: 7210 N.E. 43rd St., 816-452-2660.

Billy Ebeling.

OPEN MIC/JAM SESSIONS Bleachers Bar & Grill: 210 S.W. Greenwich Dr., Lee’s Summit, 816-623-3410. Open Blues and Funk Jam with Syncopation, 6 p.m.

Jazzhaus: 926-1/2 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-7491387. Speakeasy Sunday, 10 p.m., $3.

Knuckleheads Saloon: 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456.

Open Jam with Levee Town, 2 p.m., free.

R.G.’s Lounge: 9100 E. 35th St., Independence, 816-358-5777. Jam Night hosted by Dennis Nickell, Scotty Yates, Rick Eidson, and Jan Lamb, 5 p.m.

December 2 & 3

OPEN MIC/JAM SESSIONS The Bottleneck: 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785841-5483. Open Mic Night.

Californos: 4124 Pennsylvania, 816-531-7878. Open Mic Night, 7 p.m.

Czar: 1531 Grand, 816-221-2244. Grand Jam hosted by Supermassive Black Holes, 9 p.m.

The Blue Room: 1616 E. 18th St., 816-474-8463. Mike Herrera Quintet, 7 p.m.

Jazz: 1823 W. 39th St., 816-531-5556. Jazzbo.

Take Five Coffee + Bar: 5336 W. 151st St., Overland Park, 913-948-5550. Tim Doherty’s 9plus1 Big Band.

DRUNKEN DISTRACTIONS/COMEDY/ BAR GAMES The Brick: 1727 McGee, 816-421-1634. Rural Grit Happy Hour, 6 p.m.

Clarette Club: 5400 Martway, Mission, 913-384-0986.

Texas Hold ’em, 7 & 10 p.m.

Hamburger Mary’s: 101 Southwest Blvd., 816-8421919. Mary-oke with Chad Slater, 8 p.m.

Jazzhaus: 926-1/2 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-7491387. Karaoke Idol with Tanya McNaughty.

JR’s Place: 20238 W. 151st St., Olathe, 913-254-1307.

Texas Hold ’em, 7:30 p.m.

MoJo’s Bar & Grill: 1513 S.W. Hwy. 7, Blue Springs. Pool and dart leagues; happy hour, free pool, 4-6 p.m.

Nara: 1617 Main, 816-221-6272. Brodioke, 10 p.m.

RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Sonic Spectrum Music Trivia, 7 p.m., $5.

Sharks: 10320 Shawnee Mission Pkwy., Merriam, 913268-4006. Pool tournament, 7:30 p.m.

The Union of Westport: 421 Westport Rd. DJ Rico and DJ Sweeny: service industry night.

Westport Flea Market: 817 Westport Rd., 816-9311986. Texas Hold ’em, 8 p.m.

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DJ Coda: 1744 Broadway, 816-569-1747. DJ Whatshisname, service industry night, 10 p.m.

JAZZ Jardine’s: 4536 Main, 816-561-6480. Cynthia Van Roden, 7 p.m.

Jazz: 1823 W. 39th St., 816-531-5556. Rick Bacus and Monique Danielle.

ROOTS/COUNTRY/BAR GAMES RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Rex Hobart and friends, 6 p.m.

DRUNKEN DISTRACTIONS/COMEDY/ BAR GAMES The Brick: 1727 McGee, 816-421-1634. Scrabble Club, 7 p.m.

Coda: 1744 Broadway, 816-569-1747. Coda Pursuit Team Trivia with Teague Hayes, 7 p.m.

The Drop: 409 E. 31st St., 816-756-3767. Brodioke, 9:30 p.m.

Flying Saucer: 101 E. 13th St., 816-221-1900. Trivia Bowl, 7:30 & 10 p.m., free.

Jackpot Music Hall: 943 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-832-1085. Karaoke.

Jerry’s Bait Shop: 302 S.W. Main, Lee’s Summit, 816525-1871. xTreme Music Bingo.

Johnny’s Tavern: 13410 W. 62nd Terr., Shawnee, 913962-5777. Bingo Boogie MANY MORE Nights, 9 p.m.

Johnny’s Tavern: 11316 W. 135th St., Overland Park, 913851-5165. Texas Hold ’em.

JR’s Place: 20238 W. 151st St., Olathe, 913-254ONLINE AT 1307. Buttwiser’s Bash with PITCH.COM DJ Double D, 10 p.m., free.

Missie B’s: 805 W. 39th St., 816-561-0625. Gayme Night upstairs, in-house tournament, Wii and NTN Trivia, 7:30-10 p.m.; karaoke on the main floor, 10 p.m.

MoJo’s Bar & Grill: 1513 S.W. Hwy. 7, Blue Springs. Pool and dart leagues; happy hour, free pool, 4-6 p.m.

The Roxy: 7230 W. 75th St., Overland Park, 913-2366211. Karaoke.

Saints Pub + Patio: 9720 Quivira, Lenexa, 913-4923900. Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Westport Flea Market: 817 Westport Rd., 816-9311986. Chess Club, 7 p.m.

FIND

CLUB LISTINGS

OPEN MIC/JAM SESSIONS The Phoenix Jazz Club: 302 W. Eighth St., 816-2215299. Open Jam with Everette DeVan, 7 p.m.

Stanford’s Comedy Club: 1867 Village West Pkwy., Kansas City, Kan., 913-400-7500. Open Mic Night.

W E D N E S DAY 7 ROCK/POP/INDIE Jerry’s Bait Shop: 302 S.W. Main, Lee’s Summit, 816525-1871. 90 Minutes, 9 p.m.

RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Bob Walkenhorst, 7 p.m.

Tomfooleries: 612 W. 47th St., 816-753-0555. The Mickey Finn Band, 9 p.m.

DJ Buzzard Beach: 4110 Pennsylvania, 816-753-4455.

Live DJ, midnight.

The Riot Room: 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179. PipeDream with DJ Rhyn, VJ Dirty Joe, 10 p.m.

Saints Pub + Patio: 9720 Quivira, Lenexa, 913-4923900. DJ Pure.

JAZZ 1911 Restaurant & Lounge: 1911 Main, 816-5270200. A la Mode.

B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427.

New Vintage Big Band.

Jardine’s: 4536 Main, 816-561-6480. Kerry Strayer New KC 7, 7 p.m.

The Phoenix Jazz Club: 302 W. Eighth St., 816-2215299. The Brian Ruskin Trio, 7 p.m.

DRUNKEN DISTRACTIONS/COMEDY/ BAR GAMES Beer Kitchen: 435 Westport Rd., 816-389-4180. Brodioke.

The Bottleneck: 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785841-5483. Quiz for a Cause.

Danny’s Bar and Grill: 13350 College Blvd., Lenexa, 913345-9717. Trivia and karaoke with DJ Smooth, 8 p.m.

403 Club: 403 N. Fifth St., 913-499-8392. Pinball tournament, 8:30 p.m., $5 entry fee.

Hamburger Mary’s: 101 Southwest Blvd., 816-8421919. Charity Bingo with Valerie Versace, 8 p.m.

Harleys & Horses: 7210 N.E. 43rd St., 816-452-2660.

Karaoke, Ladies’ Night.

Hurricane Allie’s Bar and Grill: 5541 Merriam Dr., Shawnee, 913-217-7665. Ultimate DJ Karaoke, 8:30 p.m.

Jake’s Place Bar and Grill: 12001 Johnson Dr., Shawnee, 913-962-5253. Karaoke.

Jerry’s Bait Shop: 302 S.W. Main, Lee’s Summit, 816525-1871. Rock-and-Roll Comedy Show.

Johnny’s Tavern: 6765 W. 119th St., Leawood, 913-4514542. Texas Hold ’em.

JR’s Place: 20238 W. 151st St., Olathe, 913-254-1307.

Karaoke with the Queen, 9:30 p.m.-1 a.m.

Missie B’s: 805 W. 39th St., 816-561-0625. The Dirty Game Show, 10 p.m.

MoJo’s Bar & Grill: 1513 S.W. Hwy. 7, Blue Springs. Pool and dart leagues; happy hour, free pool, 4-6 p.m.

Nara: 1617 Main, 816-221-6272. Ladies’ Night.

The Roxy: 7230 W. 75th St., Overland Park, 913-2366211. Karaoke.

Tonahill’s South: 10817 E. Truman Rd., Independence, 816-252-2560. Ladies’ Night with DJ Thorny, 6 p.m.

Westport Flea Market: 817 Westport Rd., 816-9311986. Trivia, 8 p.m.

Wilde’s Chateau 24: 2412 Iowa, Lawrence, 785-8561514. Pride Night, 8 p.m.

EASY LISTENING Fuel: 7300 W. 119th St., Overland Park, 913-451-0444.

Colby & Mole.

OPEN MIC/JAM SESSIONS Bleachers Bar & Grill: 210 S.W. Greenwich Dr., Lee’s Summit, 816-623-3410. Open Blues and Funk Jam with Syncopation, 7 p.m.

Jazzhaus: 926-1/2 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785749-1387. Fresh Ink open-mic poetry with Miss Conception, $3.

Jerry’s Bait Shop: 13412 Santa Fe Trail Dr., Lenexa, 913-894-9676. Jam Night, 9 p.m.

Tonahill’s 3 of a Kind: 11703 E. 23rd St., Independence, 816-833-5021. Open Jam hosted by Crossthread, 7:30-11 p.m.

R O C K A B I L LY Aftershock Bar & Grill: 5240 Merriam Dr., Merriam, 913-384-5646. KC Jamboree with DJ Hepkat.

VARIET Y Czar: 1531 Grand, 816-221-2244. Indie Hit Makers, 6 p.m.

Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club: 3402 Main, 816-7531909. Amy Farrand’s Weirdo Wednesday Social Club, 7 p.m., no cover.

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savage love Get It? Got It? Good Dear Dan: I’m a 21-year-old woman from Canada who sleeps with other women. Two questions for you:(1) My LGBT friends and I disagree about what we girls who sleep with girls exclusively should call ourselves. Everyone bitches at me for hating the word “lesbian.” Can’t I call myself gay? (2) I’m a really kinky person. I’ve been sexually active BY and into BDSM since I was 16. I DAN have a large toy collection, and many of the toys are dildos and S AVA G E anal plugs. I like anal a lot. The thought of vaginal doesn’t interest me, so I’ve never gone there. I’ve read that breaking the hymen can hurt and that scares me, even though I enjoy being flogged and scratched.

Should I get over it and go to town or stick with what works for me?

Good Gay Girl Dear GGG: (1) Everyone’s entitled to their opinions and preferred labels. And friends should be able to discuss their differing opinions and preferences without it being mistaken for bitching. (2) “Tearing the hymen doesn’t always hurt and rarely hurts with any severity,” says Debby Herbenick, sex researcher, vulva puppeteer and co-author of Read My Lips: A Complete Guide to the Vagina and Vulva. “Going slow with a smallish, well-lubricated dildo is a good place to start, or two or three well-lubricated fingers. Doing this while highly aroused sets you up for a better experience.”

But first, Herbenick recommends a trip to your female-friendly sex-toy shop. “If most of your toys have been used in the anus/rectum,” Herbenick says, “it would be wise to get a new vagina toy.” And if you’re broke, she says, “Then put a condom over a clean anal toy or clean a nonporous (glass, medical-grade silicone) anal toy before using it in the sensitive vagina.”

If you decide vaginal penetration isn’t for you, that’s a preference to which you’re entitled.

Dear Dan: A guy mentioned that a girl once accidentally vomited all over him during oral sex. He confessed that this turned him on. I consider myself GGG, but the thought of puking in a sexual scenario is unappealing. Does this revoke my GGG card?

Pleasing Upchucking=Kinky Extremism?

Dear PUKE: Let’s revisit my original definition of GGG: “GGG stands for good, giving and game, which is what we should all strive to be for our sex partners. Think good in bed, giving equal time and equal pleasure, and game for anything — within reason.”

Some kinksters skip past the “within reason” part when discussing kinks with vanilla partners. Extreme bondage or SM, shit and puke, emotionally tricky humiliation play, demanding 32

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that your partner have sex with other people — all of that falls under the FTF, or “fetish too far,” exclusion, which you’ll find in the fine print of your GGG card.

Dear Dan: I’m a 20-year-old female college student living with my 23-year-old boyfriend. We’ve been dating for two years, and our sex life has always been awesome. My boyfriend has a high libido. He says I don’t want to have sex with him, when we have sex four times a week, and I’m happy to give him head, jerk him off or take off my clothes anytime he asks. Whenever we sit down together, he’s immediately horny and gets cranky when I say no. I try to be GGG, and he does the same for me, but I hate feeling guilty about not having sex with him constantly. I’ve started telling him to masturbate to porn, and he does it willingly but usually whines first about how I “never” want to have sex. My body can’t take it every day.

My Boyfriend Is Incredibly Horny Dear MBIIH: You’re not trying to be GGG; you are GGG. Your boyfriend doesn’t understand or appreciate what it’s like to be on the receiving end of all that dick. Saying something like this might help him get it: “You know I love you, honey, and you know I love having sex with you.

But if your hole got fucked every time we had ‘sex,’ you wouldn’t want to have ‘sex’ more than four times a week, either.” (I’m putting “sex” in quotes here because your boyfriend defines sex as only “vaginal intercourse.” Oral, hand jobs and visuals-with-a-partner all count as sex.)

If that doesn’t do the trick, buy him a dildo roughly the same size as his dick. Tell him he can fuck your hole whenever he wants as long as he fucks his own first, while you watch, for at least 20 minutes.

That might help him appreciate how good he’s got it.

Dear Dan: Never heard of you until a year ago.

I’m into “ball busting” — getting slapped or kicked in the nuts — but my wife was never willing. I did something stupid and saw an escort, just to get my balls busted (no sex), and my wife found out. She was talking about divorce when she told her best friend what was going on. Her friend told her to read your archives first.

You probably don’t hear this from conservative Christian Republicans in red states very often, but my sense of honor requires it of me: Thank you for saving my marriage. This “GGG” concept of yours transformed our marriage — it also led my wife to discover or open up about her kink. We’re happier than ever.

Busted and Loving Life Supremely Dear BALLS: You’re welcome, and all I ask in return is your support for the full legal recognition of mine. Deal?

Have a question for Dan Savage?

E-mail him at mail@savagelove.net

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MO-NE KC $400-$450 816-472-1866 Now renting 502-520 Maple Blvd. Colonial Court Apartments w/ air conditioners. Super move in special 1/2 off 1st month rent & $200 Deposit. For more details call Kelly James Onsite Manager (816)472-1866 Home (816) 777-6965 or the San Diego Branch Office is (619) 954-2703

KS-KU MED

MO-VALENTINE $400-$850 816-753-5576 CALL TODAY! Rent Studios, 1 & 2 Bedroom Apartments & 3 Bedroom HOMES. Colliers International, EHO

$455-$560 913-236-8038 MINUTES TO KU MED. Spacious Studios, 1 Bedroom & 2 Bedrooms.

Minutes to KU & UMKC. Minutes from Plaza & Westport. Laundry Facilities, Off Street Parking, Pool, Water & Trash Paid. Please visit www.kc-apartments.com Washita Club Apartments manager@kc-apartments.com

KS-SHAWNEE $575-$595 913-671-8218 December Special. First months rent free plus $99 Deposit. 2 Bedroom, 1 Bath. Washer/Dryer in some units.

MO-WESTPORT/KUMED $695 816-531-3111 3942 Roanoke~ ground floor Duplex. 1 BR, lrg rooms, lots of closets. Off street parking, front porch. No pets please.

MO-WESTPORT/PLAZA $500/month 816-561-9528 Winter Special- Large 2 Bedroom, Central Heat, Balcony, Private Parking, Garbage disposal.3943 Roanoke and 3821 Central Call for details 5320 Houses For Rent

MO-38TH & BALTIMORE $375-$525 816-531-6428 $375 Studio. $450 1 Bedroom. $525 2 Bedroom Prvt parking. Walk-in closets (in 1bd & 2bd), Balcony, central AC & heat, w/w carpet, w/d access.

MO-GILLHAM PARK $495/MO 816-785-2875 RARE opportunity 1 unit vacancy. Beautiful Loft style Apartment on Gillham Park great views completely New everything. Exposed brick, marble floors, exposed ceilings (3rd floor units), hardwood floors, claw foot or jacuzzi tubs its all here right on Gillham Park with great sunset views. Completely new and updated with new Refrigerator, stove, Central air, furnace, garbage disposal, microwave / hood, maple cabinets and tons more. As low as $495 per month with lease. Big 1 bedrooms in a great part of town. Onsite management.

Call Wes at 816-785-2875 or Dave at 913-244-4892 MO-KANSAS CITY STARTING AT $395 816-231-2874 Stonewall Court apartments-2500 Independence Ave. Central air, secure entry, on site laundry, on bus line, close to shopping. Nice apartments, Sec 8 welcome. $100 Deposit Office hours M-F 8-5 MO-KCAI $550 (816)756-2380 3966 Warwick spacious 2 BR Carpeted, Heat Paid, Near KCAI. 2 BR $550 www.KNAACKPROPERTIES.COM

MO-KCAI $725 (816)756-2380 4124 Warwick Large 3 bedroom, large balcony, hardwood througout. www.KNAACKPROPERTIES.COM

MO-MARTINI CORNER $395 (816)756-2380 3110 GRAND. 1 Bedrooms. Hardwood, gas paid. www.KNAACKPROPERTIES.COM

KS-39th & Rainbow! $650 816-254-7200 Recently updated 2 bedroom house, plush carpet, open living room, garage, eat-in kitchen with appliances, pets OJ and more! rs-kc.com KC12R KS-Merriam Area $750 816-254-7200 Priced to move 2 bedroom house, classy hardwood floors, dining room for holiday hosting, garage with opener, deck, bring the pets! rs-kc.com KC12T KS-Overland Park $875 913-962-6683 Don't see this at this price! 3 bed/2 bath house, bright and open layout, garage, safely fenced yard, appliances, pets welcome! rs-kc.com KC12V KS-Shawnee Area $1300 816-254-7200 Oversized 4 bed/2.5 bath house, entertain in the finished basement, 2 car garage, fenced yard with deck, appliances, bring the pets! rs-kc.com KC12U KS-STRAWBERRY HILL $500/MONTH 913-302-1888 Nice 3 Bedroom, 1 Bath Home for Rent. Fenced Yard, Single Car Garage, Appliances Included, W/D Hook-ups.

Ceiling Fans. Close to Downtown/ P & L & Westport. Deposit & Credit Check Required.

KS-Turner Schools! $625 913-962-6683 No application fee! 2 bedroom house, spacious living room, great family room, oversized fenced yard, large kitchen, pets OK! rs-kc.com KC12S KS-Westwood/Plaza Area! $1300 816-254-7200 3 bed/3 bath house featuring lovely built-ins, hardwood floors, full basement, appliances, W/D, bonus room, pets welcome! rs-kc.com KC12M

MO-MIDTOWN $375 - $475 816-560-0715 ARMOUR FLATS APARTMENTS - Studio & 1 bedrooms available in a newly remodeled building.

Great location! Gas, water, trash paid.

MO-MIDTOWN $595 (816)756-2380 4011 Warwick. Large 2 bedroom, central air, carpet, patio. KNAACKPROPERTIES.COM

WILLOWIND APARTMENTS

1, 2 & 3 Bedroom Apartments Starting @ $425

3927 Willow Ave • KCMO 64113 816.358.6764

NORTHLAND VILLAGE $100 DEPOSIT ON 1&2 BEDROOMS

$525 / up Large 1, 2 & 3 Bedroom Apts and Townhomes

I-35 & Antioch • (816) 454-5830

!"#$%&'(()*#+,")-."/ 1-Bdrms starting at $395 central air, secure entry, on site laundry, on bus line, close to shopping, nice apts, Sections 8 welcome $100 Deposit (816) 231-2874 M-F 8-5 office hours

LEASE TO OWN CLASSIC WALDO HOME & REBUILD YOUR CREDIT! Direct with owner.

No bank!

No closing cost!

Move in READY!

$205K

(20K below appraisal!)

WE DO IT ALL!!!

Boveri Realty Group Sales - 816.333.4545 Leasing - 816.333.4040 MoveDowntownKC.com

BRING THIS AD IN FOR $20 Month to Month Rent UTILITIES Laundry facilities - on-site OFF YOUR * Restrictions apply FIRST 2 On Metro Bus route PAID! beginning October 3, 2011 WEEKS Call (816) 221-1721 -Se Habla Espanol

3105 Peery Ave.

2BR $450

KC Hills

1BR $495

Charming apt with balcony, HW floors, Updated Kitchen, Tenants only pay elec!

Studio $385 & 1BR $425

Charming apts, Located in historic building right off Main Street, HW floors, Great Deal!

Longmeadow Apt

1BR $475-$495

1BR $450/ 2BR $550

1BR $475/2BR $575

2BR $595

All Utilities Included! HW floors, high ceilings, new large windows, central heat, onsite laundry! Beautiful apt!

3740 Wyandotte

1BR $450/2BR $550

Baltimore Plaza

2BR $550

4405 Parkway

1 BR $515

4544 Terrace

4 BR $1295

7535 St. Line

2 BR 2 BA $695

957 W. 42nd

2 BR $695

Appliances, Bsmt, Hardwoods

Good location with central air and heat, D/W, Located in Hyde Park, 2 blocks West of Main St.

3632 Baltimore, Spacious 2BR, HW floors, DW, Central air/ heat, Great Location!

3214 St. John Ave.

2 BR $550

Hardwood Floors, 4 Bedroom, 3 Bath Home Appliances, Bsmt pkg

Charming apts. Located in Hyde Park complete with central air and heat, dw, patio/balcony.

715 E. 29th St.

4403 Holly

Hardwood Floors, Appliances, Central Air

9 E. 34th St. Beautiful, Victorian apts located right off 34th & Main St., Central Air/Heat, DW, Onsite Laundry, Off-Street Parking

Warwick Plaza

MANAGEMENT COMPANY www.sederson.com (816) 531-2555

AC, Appliances, Balcony, Storage, On-Site Laundry

Convenient location in NE! HW floors, quiet location!

Great Deal!

Brentwood Plaza

ALL

SEDERSON

Monday–Friday 9–5 or by appt.

3645 Walnut, Great Location, Central Air/Heat, Off-Street Parking, D/W, Great Deal!

MO - DOWNTOWN 816-421-4343 One-of-a-kind spaces in a variety of historic fully restored buildings throughout Downtown, Crossroads, Westside, and West Bottoms. Commercial, residential, office, loft, art studios, and live/work spaces.

Know Someone Who Does?

North Terrace Property Management

Orleans Apts.

MO-MIDTOWN $425-$475 (816)756-2380 712 E. Linwood. 1 bedroom apts. Carpet. New renovation. Walking distance to Costco, Home Depot, Martini Corner. Pets ok. www.KNAACKPROPERTIES.COM

• Find a place to buy?

$110/WEEK $100/DEPOSIT*

(816)561.RENT www.northterracepm.com

5367 Office Space For Rent

• Find a place to rent?

Holiday Apartments

SOUTHPOST PROPERTIES 913-259-9555

MO-WALDO $850 816.531.2555 7247 Wyandotte, 3 bedroom, 2 bath, appliances, central air, basment, garage.

• Sell your Property?

Downtown Area

MO-SOUTH KANSAS CITY $645 816-761-2382 2 Bedroom, 2 bath house for rent. 7901 Oldham Rd. All appliances including W/D.

MO-South KC $750 816-254-7200 udget friendly 3 bedroom house, recently remodeled throughout, loaded with kitchen appliances, relax in the living room, pets OK! rs-kc.com KC12O

•Lease out your property?

Last Chance / Fresh Start Leasing

7127 SUMMIT 5 MIN TO PLAZA! 3 BR, 2BA, 2 car, fireplace, bsmnt, MUST SEE!

$5K down 100% applied to principal $1675 a mo includes taxes and insurance

MO-Penn Valley Area $775 913-962-6683 Character filled 2 bedroom house with 2 bathrooms, great deck for warm weather living, updated appliances, remodeled throughout; rs-kc.com KC12Le

Do you need to...

Fireplace, Washer/Dryer Hook-ups, Storage Space, Pool.

MO-75th & Broadway! $1250 913-962-6683 Character filled & remodeled 3 bed/2 bath house, newly stained hardwood floors, basement, fenced yard, appliances, pets OK! rs-kc.com KC12P

MO-NKC $650 816-531-2555 312 E. 26th Ave. 2 bedroom, central air, appliances, garage.

MO-MIDTOWN $415-$700 913-940-2047 Newly Renovated Studios,1 & 2 Bedrooms in convenient Midtown Location. Off Street Parking.

PUBLISHER’S NOTICE: All real estate advertised herein is subject to Federal Fair Housing Act, which makes it illegal to adverise, “any preferences, limitation, or discrimination because of race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status, or national origin, or intention to make any such preference, limitation, or dicriminaiton. We will not knowing accept any advertising for real estate which is in violation of the law.

All person are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised are available on a equal opportunity basis.

Appliances, Central Air, Hardwood Floors

2BR $495

HW floors, Central air/heat, onsite laundry, Great Deal!

CALL US TODAY TO SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT

See pictures at www.northterracepm.com

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D E C E M B E R 1 - 7, 2 0 1 1

THE PITCH

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Back Page

®

Smokers Outlet

816.218.6721

Parkville’s Premier Cigar & Tobacco Store

HEADSPACE

Home of the $18.29 Carton Decades

Kansas City’s LARGEST Selection of Locally Blown Glass!

(816) 587-9200 7 Main St. Parkville Mo.

s Exclusive Distributor of Armor Tube

HUGE HOLIDAY GLASS PIPE SALE ITEMS STARTING AT $5

HEADSPACE

4254 Troost , KCMO 816-931-4833

$99 DIVORCE $99

CAREER EDUCATION

LEARN BARTENDING!!

Big fun, Big money, Two week program-Job placement assistance FT, PT, Parties, Weddings, Always in demand!

International School of Professional Bartending. Call 816-753-3900 TODAY !!!

Simple, Uncontested + Filing Fee. Don Davis. 816-531-1330

* DWI * * CRIMINAL * * TRAFFIC *

Practice emphasizing DWI defense.

Experienced, knowledgeable attorney will take the time to listen and inform.

Free initial phone consultation.

CASH FOR CARS Wanted/Unwanted Autos, Wrecked, Damaged or Broken.

Cash Paid. www.abcautorecycling.com 913-271-9406

CASH PAID FOR JUNK/UNWANTED VEHICHLES. Call J.G.S. Auto Wrecking For Quote. 913-321-2716 ot Toll free 1-877-320-2716

ERICA'S PSYCHIC STUDIO Reunites Love- Depression-Finances Success. 100% Guaranteed Results ! $10 816-965-7125 Readings

Entry Level-Sales/Marketing

No Exp. needed/ Training Provided/ Opportunity to Advance to MGMT. Submit Resume at www.mp-inc.org under contact us or call 816-912-2890

www.MoneyMakingClub.org

816-221-3691

**BE A PROFESSIONAL **

RECORDING ENGINEER/PRODUCER* 2 yr. Certificate Program. Call For Winter Enrollment! Classes Begin January For info. & Tour Call BRC Audio 913-621-2300 or visit www.recordingeducation.com

$12,000 + / month Attainable.

(913) 526-5150

99.7% Toxin Free w/n an hour

We can help you pass Coopers 3617 Broadway, KCMO 816.931.7222

coming Monthly

AFFORDABLE ATTORNEY

SPEEDING, DWI, POSSESSION, ASSAULT

I provide efficient legal services & close personal attn for clients For a free consult call: The Law Office of J.P. Tongson

(816) 265-1513 LEGAL HELPERS: BANKRUPTCY Voted Best Attorney in KC by Pitch Readers

Get started with only $100 down. We have successfully helped over 100,000 Clients Eliminate Millions in Debt.

ATTY: Craig Horvath FREE CONSULTATION 816-875-6366 - 1125 Grand Blvd. Suite 916, KCMO www.legalhelpers.com

HOME Sellers & Tired Rental Property Owners

I have pre-qualified buyers for your property.

We guarantee your payment. Our lease purchase program is the sales solution for your property.

816-853-8369

Psychic Readings Palm Readings Tarot Readings Crystal Readings

CLUBEROTICAKC.COM #1 Lifestyle House Party Friday & Saturday PARTY WITH POKER IN HIS LIMO!!!!

913-238-4339 ( Roomate wanted )

~~~HOTEL ROOMS~~~ A-1 Motel 816-765-6300 Capital Inn 816-765-4331

6101 E. 87th St./Hillcrest Rd. ,HBO,Phone, Banq.

Hall $39.95 Day/ $159 Week/ $499 Month + Tax

DUI/DWI, KS, MO

Real Estate & Bankruptcy Reasonable rates!

Evening & Weekend appt. Susan Bratcher 816-453-2240 www.bratcherlaw.biz

FREE call for info

Specializing in reuniting lovers

100% GUARANTEED RESULTS, NO FALSE PROMISES

Min. $100 Deposit, All Utilities Paid, Laundry Facilities. On Metro Bus Line as of 10/3/11. Holiday Apts, 115 W. Harlem Rd, KCMO 816-221-1721 Se Hable Espanol

Auto Insurance Starting @ $40.00 SR22-Non-owner / MO: 816-531-1000 / KS: 913-239-0900

**www.DeMastersInsurance.com**

Marriage & Family Visas Green Cards/Work Permits Free consultations-Law Office of Joseph W. Alfred

913-538-6720 www.lojwa.com

**BE A PROFESSIONAL **

RECORDING ENGINEER/PRODUCER* 2 yr. Certificate Program. Call For Winter Enrollment! Classes Begin January For info. & Tour Call BRC Audio 913-621-2300 or visit www.recordingeducation.com

AFFORDABLE ATTORNEY

SPEEDING, DWI, POSSESSION, ASSAULT

I provide efficient legal services & close personal attn for clients For a free consult call: The Law Office of J.P. Tongson

(816) 265-1513

MODEL SHOOTS

Lady Photographer Available for Model Shoots.

Alexandra 816-716-0761 Rates Reasonable

Law Offices of David M. Lurie

DWI, SOLICITATION, TRAFFIC DEFENSE, INTERNET-BASED CRIMES816-221-5900

MO-Waldo Area $550 816-254-7200 Cozy 2 bedroom house, floorplan with large living room, garage, safely fenced for pets and kids, appliances include W/D, pets OK! rs-kc.com KC12N

MLH Property Management "Let Us Do The Work For You" Properties Available from $450 to $750 / Month Section 8 Welcome 816-333-5133

http://www.the-law.com

SUNNY MASSAGE -

2500 W. 6th St. Lawrence, KS 66049Walk-in or by appointment 785.865.1311

Inhale Didgeridoos Bongos Congas Hippie Gear

The Best Glass Outside of Westport 1412 S HWY 7, Blue Springs 816-224-6425 is in Blue Springs

Independence, MO Grandview, MO (816) 965 -7 12 5 D E C E M B E R 1 - 7, 2 0 1 1

DOWNTOWN AREA STUDIO APT $110/WEEK

Art Hookahs Guitars Djembes

Advice on LOVE, DIVORCE, STRESS, DEPRESSION, FINANCIAL SUCCESS, HEALTH

THE PITCH

Kansas: 913-321-1000

Custom Glass

READING

Superior to all other Psychics

36

Missouri: 816-241-7548

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

there’s a new girl in town.

THE LAW OFFICE OF DENISE KIRBY

U-PICK IT SELF SERVICE AUTO PARTS $$ Paying Top Dollar $$ For Junk Cars & Trucks

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