CLASS- Dealing with Difficult People

Community of Learning for Administrative Support Staff (CLASS): Part 1 Dealing with difficult people

Presenter: Sophya Johnson

September 21, 2016

Objectives

1. Look at different types of difficult people

2. How to work with difficult people

3. Tips on how to deal with difficult people

Dealing with difficult people  People can be the most stressful part of any job.  That sounds harsh. After all, most people are the best part of any job, providing social interaction and supporting skills.

 But others… well, some are so difficult to deal with that they present an obstacle to you being at your best.  Wouldn’t it be so easy just to ignore them?

 But the truth is that to be successful in your career, you have to be able to work with difficult people effectively. Fortunately, learning how to work well with difficult people is a skill that can be learned.  Virtually no workplace is safe from those frustrating and demanding people who make it difficult for you to do your job.

 List difficult types of people to work with

5 Difficult People and How to Work With Them http://quickbase.intuit.com/blog/5-difficult-people-and-how-to-work-with-them

 Here are five common colleagues people complain about.

 Keep in mind that you will not be able to change them and most likely you won’t even be able to exert a significant influence on their behavior.  Approach these situations from the mindset of not ‘how can I change them?’ but with the mindset of ‘how can I change myself in order to work better with them?’

1. The Blatant Slacker  The slacker simply doesn’t like to work  They push their responsibilities on to everyone else around them.  They show little initiative and deadlines are merely suggestions to them.

Why does this bother you?  When they do produce work, to put it mildly, it embarrasses you.  It requires so much effort to seek out any productivity from the slacker that often people around them give up trying and pull the extra weight themselves.  The problem is, you don’t have the authority to fire them and your boss either can’t or is unwilling to do so.

What can be done?  Focus on your work and your work only.  As a colleague, ask yourself if you are enabling their behavior by picking up some of the slack.  If you are feeling pressured to “help out,” and you know this is a person who doesn’t reciprocate when the tables are turned, voice your concerns to your boss before taking on the extra responsibility.  If you are their manager, this is one situation where micromanaging can be effective.  Give small tasks with tight deadlines and follow-up persistently.

2. The Well-Meaning Incompetent ď‚´ This person is hard working, but they are clearly underqualified for their job. ď‚´ They are incapable of making difficult decisions about their work and require hand-holding from the people around them.

Why does this person bother you?  This one is tough because it’s not so easy to blame them.  Unfortunately, sometimes our best is not good enough.  Motivation and effort do not make up for lack of results over the longterm.

What can be done?  Focus on what they can do rather than what they can’t.  If you have time to help out, make sure you are teaching them how to do something rather than simply doing it for them.  For managers, make sure you are not enabling.  Give them honest performance feedback and don’t sugar-coat it.

 Let them know what skills they need to develop to be effective, and if they are unable to do so, they may need to be moved to a different position.

3. The Fraud  This one brags and overexaggerates their accomplishments.  They are more concerned with appearing to be competent, hard-working, and capable rather than actually doing so.  They like to talk about work more than they like to work.

Why does this person bother you? ď‚´ If you are annoyed by the fraud, you are probably the opposite. ď‚´ You like to work hard and claiming credit for that work takes a backseat.

What can be done?  Proactively defend yourself in a way so this person can’t claim credit for your work.  If it is after-the-fact, speak up and mention your role in the project too.  You need to be managing your image at work and marketing your skills and accomplishments anyway.

 So take some tips from the fraud—the difference being, you deserve the credit and accolades!

4. The Hypercompetitive Peer ď‚´ They back-stab and stir the pot in an attempt to get themselves that promotion or raise. ď‚´ They are looking out for themselves and themselves only and how unfortunate if someone should get in their way.

Why does this bother you?  This person is difficult to work with because they have only their own interests in mind—at the expense of others and the company.

What can be done?  If you are the teamwork-type, you are on opposite ends of the spectrum and you must start to realize they are just wired differently than you.  They are motivated and inspired by different things.  Enlist their participation only when it is also in their best interests to do so and accept that they will never want to do anything for the sake of the team.  If you are their boss, use their competitiveness where it can be a strength— perhaps they can compete with others or with themselves month-to-month to surpass sales goals.

5. The Aggravating Boss  Because of the dynamics at play, most people dislike their boss.  Even those people who get along with their boss very well may dislike some aspects of their boss’s personality or perhaps some of their specific workplace behaviors.  Fortunately, it’s not mandatory to like your boss or even be friends with them, but you do have to be able to work effectively with your boss.

Why does this bother you? ď‚´ Not only do you have to work with them constantly, you have to work for them.

What can be done?  Pinpoint exactly what is the issue.  Is your boss micromanaging?  Does he/she fail to set direction? Is she ineffective in a critical aspect of her job?  Does he/she treat you unfairly?

 Or do you simply have a difficult time tolerating him/her unique personality?  Once you identify the specific behavior that is bothering you, you can take steps to manage the situation.

6. The Gossiper

http://www.inc.com/minda-zetlin/how-to-lead-the-5-toughest-employees.html  Every workplace will have a certain amount of gossiping,  but if one of your employees enjoys reporting bad news about you,  others in your company,

 or even the competition,  that's destructive behavior and you need to do something about it.

What can be done?  The first step toward dealing with a gossip is not to get sucked in yourself.  Don't participate in gossiping which can be hard to resist, depending on the subject of the conversation.  Even more important, don't give in to the natural human desire to know exactly what's being said about you, or to try to please everyone so they'll only have good things to say.

ď‚´Did I miss anyone? ď‚´What type of person was the most difficult person you have ever had to work with?

5 Tips For Dealing With Difficult Co-Workers http://www.careerealism.com/dealing-coworkers-tips/

ï‚´Here are some tips to help you deal with a problem work associate:

1. Be The Better Person If you find that a co-worker is always breaking bad on other employees and has a proclivity for office politics and gossip, try to distance yourself from that person.

If you happen to share an office with the scandalmonger, try to only talk about workrelated topics that are not personal attacks on others in the office.

2. Keep A Positive Attitude No one wants to be around someone who’s always negative and in a bad mood, so even if your difficult co-workers try to bring you down think about the positives in your job.

If you’re struggling to see the silver lining think about what this job allows you to do outside of work. Perhaps your income provides you with a few discretionary dollars that can be spent on a favorite hobby.

3. Ignore The Person

We’re at work to do a job.

Focus on the tasks that must be accomplished Network with other people at your workplace who aren’t quite so difficult to be around.

4. Take Action Sometimes people don’t realize that they are perceived as being negative or being a gossip.

In a non-confrontational way, pull the person aside in private and tell them that you’re really trying to be positive at work and could use their help.

This tactic might be subtle enough to invoke a change in their behavior.

5. Make The Most Of It There’s no rule that we have to be best friends with our co-workers.

You may find that you work with someone who you just can’t grow to like and that’s OK.

However, come to the realization that you do need to try to be professional and treat the difficult person with respect and civility.

Continue to focus on your work and see if there’s something that you can learn from the difficult person, even if it’s just the fact that you don’t want to act like him

Summary of Strategies Stay Calm and Focused See From the Other Person’s Eyes Act with Respect Separate from the Person Focus on Forward Motion