Sophomore Research Studio 2021
A Letter From The Editors Midnight Oil is a catalogue of student work from the UC DAAP Sophomore Research Studio instructed by Lorena Molina in the Fall of 2021. All 12 students were specifically chosen by the Fine Arts Faculty based on their portfolios and performance in the Foundations Review at the end of their first year. At the beginning of the semester, students proposed a project that they developed through critiques and individual student-professor meetings. One of the main focuses of this studio was to investigate different forms of research. Students achieved this goal by doing independent research and examining how other artists conduct research in their practice. Throughout the semester, student groups conducted periodic WebEx interviews with contemporary artists in order to understand how research and process affect their everyday practice. Another responsibility of the students was to create and curate an exhibition that would open at the end of the semester. The exhibition— Midnight Oil— opened on December 6th, 2021, at the Philip M. Meyers Jr. Memorial Gallery in the Steger Student Life Center. "Burning the midnight oil" refers to being awake in the late hours of the night, far past the comfort of our waking day. The 12th hour is a phase between days fixed on the border between evening and morning. It is a threshold cyclically crossed each day in order to leave the past behind and move on to whatever may lie ahead. The 12 students have all individually created a project centered around a concept of personal interest. Under the guidance of Lorena Molina, these projects have developed and changed over the progression of the semester. With each turn of midnight, these projects have slowly evolved into their final form as an exhibition at the Meyers Gallery. Along with the exhibition, each student designed their page layouts for this catalogue. We saw their work go through a number of changes this semester and are very proud of far they’ve come. Thank you for taking the time to look through this catalogue! Signed, Samya Mehta Annabelle Grace Park Eve Miller Lorena Molina Wee spend our mid-day sweat, or mid-night oyle; Wee tyre the night in thought; the day in toyle. — Francis Quarles, 1965
THE PERKS OF BEING: Samya Mehta
As an artist in the making, my present work explores the chaos that is ensued in my life due to the overload of emotions such as anger, sadness, and fear by developing various mediums of interactions that people can use in order to feel mentally lighter and navigate through their emotions easier. It is due to this emotional overload that human beings need validation from time to time because it can cause a person to feel overwhelmed and thus cause a ‘physiological traffic jam’. This ‘traffic jam’ can be solved by letting the person know that what they are feeling is valid and not something they need to mentally punish themselves for. The topic of such emotions and validations is explored through a variety of mediums such as wood, string, paper, and resin and interactions because one way of validation that works for one individual may not necessarily work for another. My work does this by letting the audience interact with my piece and connect artistically to the artist [myself] as well as the primary participants of this work.
Ask yourself why you feel chaotic. Ask yourself why is it that when your emotions amplify you feel the need to do something impulsive. I ask this question to you- the audience viewing my work. The theory that I seem to see being developed behind this is that when you feel your emotions exceed the limit your psyche can handle, one feels the need to be impulsive in order to offload that part of your mind. This makes it easier for your brain to process everything in a better manner. My work is about validating the existence of all kinds of emotions one would feel on a daily basis in order to ease your psyche and make a person’s mind a healthy place. There is regular chaos in one’s life from work stress to miscommunication to something as simple as having too much to do and to break away from that from time to time or to even realize that it exists is something I wish to communicate. This current piece includes sheets of paper covered with resin hanging from the ceiling and each piece of paper has a different story written on it by different people talking about their angriest moments. While these pieces hang, on the bottom is a wooden frame within which is a multi-colored net that I strung over a certain number of days based on my emotion every day. A different color represents a different emotion. There is an attached video compilation that the audience can see wherein I will be making this net while reciting a line that explains what I am feeling on that particular day.
VALIDATED
It is directed towards all those who suppress their emotions and feelings due to the fear of being told off. The crumpled resin papers hanging from the ceiling are a reflection and perception of a time where the original participants felt an overflow of a certain emotion but chose to suppress it due to their surroundings. I want the audience to feel free and provide them with a space where they can feel connected to the rest of the world purely based on what they feel. This happens when they see the hanging pieces on the top, the net in the bottom and when they toss their pieces of paper inscribed with what they felt in that moment. My entire piece as a whole (resin sheets as well as the net) uses interaction the form of collection to make people feel like they are being heard and their feelings validated. As an individual throws a piece of paper onto the ‘Net of Feeling’, it joins with the emotions the artist and the other viewers have contributed, thus creating a network of emotions that hopefully makes every individual feel better because it validates their emotions. My work allows the melding of all feelings into one by joining the emotions of the artist in the net, the primary participants in the resin sheets and the viewer in the crumpled papers and thus joins us humans in a bond thought non-existent by each of us. This is a bond forgotten since humans are wired to look at situations negatively and victimize their situation in such a manner that nobody else could possibly relate to them.
The art I produce is in mixed media because every medium makes me feel differently and use of these in my pieces allows me to be free and emote without being vocal. In connection to my present work, the resin used to cover the paper is used to show the very fragile emotions the original participants of this piece suppressed, the net at the bottom a collection of my feelings through a certain period of time and the thread used to make that net- vivid but fragile- just like our emotions.
Three artists that influenced me through the course of this project were Thomas Brown, Wangechi Mutu and Doreen Garner. Brown’s use of crumpled paper in different light to explore meteors (heaviness and lightness) gave me the idea of using material that could metaphorically portray various meanings. Garner’s use of beautiful material to create something straightforward and eye-opening allowed me to explore my ideology and the use of medium in a way different from its intended use. Mutu in the end influenced my work in a way I could portray something with a truly deep meaning in a simple and beautiful manner.
EMOTIONAL
The process of this project included collecting personal anger driven responses from people written on the crumpled paper as well as a video cumulation showing the days where I tie thread around the frame depending on how I feel. Anger is an important emotion in my work since it is the first step to an eruption- or emotional outburst- thus leaving chaos in its wake. While the emotion itself is secondary and its roots are set in sadness and fear, anger seems to develop at even the slightest hint of annoyance. This project includes installation, interaction, and performance to connect with the audience in the best way possible since every individual has a different way of understanding and to make sure that a wider audience can connect to my piece, it includes the three basic structures of art presentation.
CONNECTED
Despite the rise of the feminist movement and the increasing acceptance of feminist principles over the last half-century, religion has remained a relatively untouchable patriarchal system in our culture. Women are not just oppressed on the basis of our sex because of our bodies- we are also seen as the origin of sin, “an incarnation of lower human nature” (Haskins 101). I strongly believe that the next wave of feminism needs to dismantle patriarchal systems in wa religion and reclaim female spirituality by deifying women. The cultural taboo surrounding criticism of religion has made religion one of the few areas where misogyny is acceptable. My series of tarot card illustrations aims to deify women and portray the complexity of female spirituality. My work uses modern and art historical imagery, as well as the symbolism and history of tarot as a feminist process, to create contemporary parallels to the Judeo-Christian religious art of the last ve centuries. It is a response to the idea that women are not capable of the same holiness as men, or are somehow in inferior to men, as is suggested by the idea of original sin. I want to portray women in a way that makes them see not only themselves as uniquely powerful and holy, but to also see other women as holy as well. I began my research process by exploring the roots of misogyny in the world’s largest religion, Christianity, as well as classic religious art. This research changed the direction of my project and led me to research female artists who approached the topic of women and religion, which in turn led me to the topic of modern female-led religions like Dianic Wicca, which is a modern pagan movement led by women, feminist spi spirituality, and their intersection with tarot. As I reened and developed my concept, the bulk of my research was about the history, aesthetics, and symbolism of tarot. I also researched contemporary feminist artists working with tarot imagery and the feminist applications of tarot as both a religious and nonreligious personal practice.
Tarot has been interpreted by feminist tarot practitioners and scholars as a way to introspect and examine one’s own subconscious, rather than a form of divination (predicting the future). In A Feminist Tarot, Sally Gearheart and Susan Rennie describe tarot’s value: “Each tarot picture is by itself a rich and deeply evocative set of symbols which relates to the core experiences of the human condition and the human psyche... they can yield rich and complex insights in understanding ourselves” (Gearheart and Rennie XIV-XV).
Two contemporary feminist artists that inspired me throughout my process are Sarah Shipman, a contemporary feminist artist and author, and Harmonia Rosales, an Afro-Cuban American painter. Sarah Shipman’s Our Tarot tarot deck features images of important women from history. Our Tarot is a celebration of women’s history, and the women she depicts represent a diverse range of demographics, careers, and periods of history (Frank). Harmonia Rosales reinterprets classic works of art, replacing white men with Black women (Swartz). Seeing their feminist interpretations of tarot and classical religious art helped guide me through my own in work.
The cards I chose to recreate in my work are from the major arcana, which are the twenty-two named cards in a tarot deck. The cards in the major arcana represent overarching themes, large life changes, and major personal growth. They are meant to make you reeect on your current circumstances and develop a deeper understanding of your own life (“Major Arcana Tarot Card Meanings”). Each card has a distinct meaning and signiicance on its own. When the cards are reversed, their meanings change. I felt that these cards would be ideal, both for depicting the complexity and power of the female experience, and for the viewer’s interpretive experience- the cards of the major arcana are powerful, but also nuanced enough to allow for personal interpretation. in
Arthur Waite, the co-designer of the Rider-Waite-Smith tarot deck, had a similar understanding of tarot, seeing it “not as a means to power but as a path toward a higher consciousness” (Bebergal). My intention is that my work will function in this way- not as a way of seeing the future, but as a way of better understanding your own beliefs.
I created every piece based on a combination of my research into feminist spirituality, tarot card interpretations, and classic works of art history. The aesthetic and symbolic choices in the majority of my work were inspired by the Rider–Waite–Smith tarot deck (more commonly known as the Rider-Waite deck), the most popular tarot deck of the 20th century (Meier) and the most recognizable tarot deck in popular culture. I chose to draw inspiration from the Rider-Waite-Smith deck in part due dr to its recognizability, but also to honor Pamela Colman Smith, the cards’ under-acknowledged female illustrator, and her important artwork. My work was created digitally, from the initial sketches to the nal cards. Although my work was innuenced by the history of printmaking as a form of social justice activism, I chose the digital medium in order to reeect the modern age and the modern women that I am portraying. I tried to depict a broad range of women to represent a range of races and ethnicities, ages, bodies, and gender presentations- women who are unde underrepresented in historical and contemporary religious art. I chose to present my work as large-scale prints and as actual tarot cards. The smaller cards have a more detailed explanation of the speciic symbolism I chose to use in the art on each card and the meaning of the card itself on the back. I wanted viewers to experience my work in a traditional gallery setting, with the same scale and grandeur as Renaissance masters’ paintings of holy gures, but I also wanted viewers to have the opportunity to have the more intimate experience ha that tarot cards provide. I also wanted viewers to have a small piece of my work in the tradition of contemporary artists like Felix Gonzalez-Torres and Jonathan Saiz, who has also created tarot-inspired work. Gonzalez-Torres is known primarily for his installations that encourage audience interaction with his work. Gonzalez-Torres’ Paper Stacks series of works are unlimi unlimited stacks of printed paper, in different sizes and locations, which are meant to be taken by the viewers. Saiz’s installation #WhatisUtopia had 10,000 minature works of art, which he gave away to the public after the exhibition ended (Taggart). I intend for my work to be about the viewer’s experience above all else. I hope that the women who read this essay will be able to see themselves in my work, both literally and symbolically, and feel empowered by it.
Recovery Betsy Phillips ` Throughout most of my adolescence, the presence of disordered eating had always followed me. After seeking treatment in 2017, I can undoubtedly say that the way I view food, my body, and the relationship it has with society has never been the same. As a young woman struggling to find peace in my recovery I was shocked by how much of the eating disorder recovery battle is unspoken by most. During my recovery process, I was constantly baffled by the toll that disordered eating had taken on my physical and mental health, to a degree that nobody had talked about, which was an extreme cause for concern for me, according to the National Eating Disorder Association 20 million women in the united states will suffer an eating disorder of some kind in their lifetime. With my pieces, I aim to highlight the way that the trauma of eating disorder recovery affects those mentally and physically, the relationships between those recovering and their relationships with their bodies, and the ways that diet culture plays a role.
As I pondered why as a society we ignore the horrors of eating disorders and recovery, I started to notice the diet magazines on display at every grocery store. The irony of flashy magazines calling out at me, taunting me with “quick weight loss fixes” and “weight loss miracles,” in juxtaposition to everything my body endured during my eating disorder recovery was quite amusing to me, I felt as if I could find a way to present how this felt to people, the struggles of eating disorder recovery could possibly become more clear to those who are unfamiliar. I wanted to find a way to display all of the aspects that people ignore about eating disorder recovery in contrast with the way that diet culture is trying to sell itself to the public. For several weeks, I unwillingly collected every diet magazine I could get my hands on. I spent hours flipping through them, looking at them through a critical lens, trying to find the most outrageous statements to clip out and use for my pieces, so I could highlight to my audience just how much the world of dieting is ingrained into society.
Throughout my recovery journey, I was able to get very close with many people in my life who experienced and lived through similar things as me. I wanted to gauge their experiences and opinions first. I created a series of interview questions and asked fifteen people to help participate by answering the questions. I reached out to those who I knew, and also posted an ad on social media looking for participants. Each participant was sent a series of ten questions relating to recovery and diet culture. I kept each participant anonymous and received all answers through email. Researching the answers to the interview questions was the basis for all of my pieces. With the interview answers, I was able to gain insight into others' experiences and struggles, rather than just my own; this allowed me to create pieces that avoided a one-sided perspective to eating disorder recovery. This was extremely important to me, especially after researching ethical forms of interviews. I wanted my pieces to feel as inclusive as possible, despite this being an issue that doesn’t necessarily pertain to everyone on an individual level.
As I started to conduct outside research on other . artists who inspired me and covered similar concepts like me, I was extremely drawn to the work of Tracey Emin, a 58-year-old English artist, whose pieces contained a rawness on topics of mental health that were extremely refreshing to me with her concepts of mental illness. I looked at her pieces like her exhibit, Exorcism of the Last Painting I Ever Made 1996. The way that Emin was able to use painted text to her advantage in the pieces struck a chord with me, her relationships between the color of the text in contrast with the paintings fascinated me. and I have always been very intrigued by the way that text can play a role in paintings. I knew that I wanted to try and emulate that rawness and emotion in my pieces. The inclusion of hand-painted text in my pieces allowed for another form of expression. Through the inclusion of text, I was able to capture the emotions the words were making me feel as I painted them onto the canvas.
I was also introduced to Lee Price, an American artist who created a series called “Women & Food'', which aims to explore women’s relationships with food. The way that Price so unapologetically captured the female form, often naked, or in uncompromising positions, surrounded by food, was extremely captivating to me. I was very inspired by Price’s portrayal of women in comparison to food, especially in a society that taunts us with the idea that it’s unladylike to eat. Throughout the process of creating my pieces, I have become extremely inspired by female artists that tackle these sorts of concepts. Throughout my research, I found that art about eating disorder recovery and diet culture felt very rare in the mainstream. Finding women confident enough to create such personal works really spoke to me. Once it came time to start planning my pieces I narrowed down the most common factors in eating disorder recovery based on the interviews I conducted. I focused on how the body is impacted by highlighting the effects on specific body parts, as well as the mental toll disordered eating has. I wanted the pieces to feel coherent and connected, so I stuck to very similar quick brush strokes, and pallet knifed my backgrounds in, as well as sticking to similar color palettes amongst my paintings.
Early on, I also made the decision that any pieces involving body parts would be self-portraits. I have spent most of my life scared of the idea of myself or my body being perceived. Through self-portraiture, I have been able to view myself, and my body as art, rather than something to be angry at or afraid of. This allowed for another step in recovery for me, becoming aware of my body, as Bessel Van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps Score says, “Trauma victims cannot recover until they become familiar with and befriend the sensations in their bodies. Being frightened means that you live in a body that is always on guard. Angry people live in angry bodies. The bodies of child-abuse victims are tense and defensive until they find a way to relax and feel safe. In order to change, people need to become aware of their sensations and the way that their bodies interact with the world around them. Physical self-awareness is the first step in releasing the tyranny of the past” (45). The process of creating these pieces depicting eating disorder recovery, as well as the process of research has been a very healing one for me. I have been able to create works that I’m truly passionate about, that ultimately are extremely personal. While creating these pieces truly felt like an eye-opening experience to me. I took a personal struggle of mine, and was able to adequately educate myself, and learn from others' experiences to create immensely personal work. I hope that viewers can understand and experience the toll that disordered eating can truly bear, as well as gauge how much diet culture can affect this struggle.
Dendritic Grace Park
Our veins, tree roots, our neurons, river beds, our family trees, fungal mycelial networks, the broncials within our lungs, star networks, and our road systems each exist as dendritic structures. The dendritic structure appears in nature time and time again, often acting as a connective, life sustaining force. The significance of this structure is connectivity- within us these structures are perpetually at work keeping us alive through connection- as our veins circulate blood, as our neurons communicate with each system of the body. These structures exist in tree branches overhead as they reach for sun, and beneath our feet as root networks. They appear in man made systems as well; In circuit boards sustaining our devices, in epidemiological efforts to trace the spread of disease, and in our roadways. Connection is created by branching, and branching is seen in the natural world time and time again. My work seeks to examine the reflections of our own connections through examining connective patterns in nature. My desire to explore our relationship to connectivity through the natural world arose as I began to question my own relationship to the connective as it can be seen in my world; To the connections that we form with each other, to our natural world, between ideas, theories, and solutions. To connectivity within our systems, and to the connections that we form to support each other. I was asking, does connection happen by chance? Is it dictated by the supernatural, the scientific, or something between? How is the natural world connected, and how do we mimic or deny this connection? Mostly, what can we learn from connection within nature? Many of the answers to these considerations came through learning about the role of fungus in the environment, and the field of mycology (the study of fungus) as a whole. Spanning through nearly every inch of the earth beneath our feet is mycelium, a root-like system belonging to fungus. Mycelium plays a complex role in connecting plant life. The mycelial network can be a simple connector of two plants, exchanging communication and resources between them, or can span thousands of acres…. The largest organisms on our planet are fungal networks (Sheldrake, 40).... connecting entire ecosystems. Mycelium are vast, complex, mysterious, and showcase a beautiful mutualism within our ecosystems. For this reason, I chose to connect my work through a sculptural representation of the mycelial.
Adopting a mycocentric viewpoint (or, centering fungus when considering ecologies) has entirely shifted my idea of the ways that individual organisms within our environment interact, allowing me to consider that connectivity within our environment contains more mystery and complexity than is fully understood. In theory, many of us have a general understanding of the connectivity that exists within nature; That strain placed on one group of organisms has a cascade of effects. This connectivity is not just a theory to be discussed, and cannot only be seen in times of imbalance; it is ever present. It is as alive as the ecosystems that it exists within. Mycelial networks represent a constant route of communication between entities within an environment; this connectivity has been compared to systems as complex and entangled as our use of the internet, or as internal and essential as our nervous systems (McCoy). As we seek to understand the significance of these life- sustaining connective systems, we cannot help but compare them to humanity (perhaps there is comfort in seeing ourselves in these systems?) Mycelium is compared to the brain, to our road ways, to information flow systems, and to our social systems (Sheldrake). I feel a sense of hope at our desire to see reflections of ourselves as we begin to understand the possibilities that come with the exploration of this vast, connective force. Thinking about mycology has also allowed me to consider the purpose of art itself. First, I realized that artists are constantly mentioned in discussions of mycology. Artists contributions to the field are more widely noted when it comes to mycological learnings than in any other scientific space that I have encountered. Sculptor Sebastian Cox’s work with mycelium in collaboration with designer Ninela Ivanova has led to developments in the field of biodesign that are cited time and time again in scientific discussions. San Francisco-based artist Phil Ross’s work utilizing mycelium has led to the development of MycoWorks- One of the first manufacturers to utilize mycelial material in products. Artists developments in the field can be seen leading directly to innovation, scientific, and public interest. I think that this is partially due to the newness of the field; Mycological endeavours are underfunded, and underappreciated, which is often attributed to the temporality and ephemerality of the organisms themselves (Stamets). There are gaps in knowledge that scientists are only beginning to explore; the artist is able to explore these spaces, paving the way for the beginning of solidity through celebrating the wonder of the possibilities of this exploration.
The purpose of art as a whole can also be explored through comparing the purpose of art to the purpose of the mycelial network; beneath our feet is a connective and life- sustaining system. We do not fully understand the role that it plays in shaping our ecosystems, nor do we understand its power. But we are aware that it is present- it is big, and it is a system with potential. It acts to fill gaps in ecosystems that cannot be fully understood. Similarly, I feel that art acts to fill the gaps. Art is a force that underlies every major social movement- it exists on frontiers, and is always present in places of change. It is connective, creating and sustaining communities. It allows exchange of ideas. Where there is lack of understanding, knowledge, or change, art fills the gaps. Mycelium and art are similar as they are connective, and life sustaining. Neither are fully understood; but it is understood that they are forces that bring about life and communication. Better documentation of these will be included :)
I choose to represent my ideas inspired by the mycelial through the theme of the dendritic structure to emphasize the nature of connectivity. While there are many ways to compare mycelium to other systems and structures and to humanity itself, there is something striking about the branching of these structures, especially as we see them repeated in nature time and time again and within our own bodies. This repetition makes you question the significance of these structures as connective forces. Dendritic structures that exist within us and within our environment exist to distribute, and to connect. They represent the most efficient route. They are simultaneously familiar and mysterious in their connective potential.
My piece contains images that examine the dendritic structure; In branching growth, webbing, and as it is implied in the body. The dendrite connects the photos, mimicking a mycelial structure, and accentuating connection. Use of cyanotype reflects on the temporality of connection as we see it in nature, as each print is created in collaboration with the sun in a time based process. I hope to provide the viewer with endless routes to follow with the eye as they consider how each of the structures presented are connected. I want my work to act like a dendritic structure. I want to branch questions, that branch questions that branch questions that branch change in thought. The dendritic structure can represent an epidemic of wonder and of a desire to reach out. The dendritic structure within nature allows us to think about reach through branching, and about the connective as a whole. Consider your own relationship to the connective. Where do you fit in? In which areas are you branching? How do these structures mimic our movement through life, and the reach that we have as time passes? Most of all, what do they say about the ways that we view connectivity?
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TUNNEL VISION EVE MILLER
There is something cosmically terrifying about the limits of our perception. The unbreakable rules of our understood reality are what ground us in most day-to-day activities, taken for granted as we move through our lives in a constant linear crawl. What if all of this was to be broken in an instant? What if we found ourselves in a place that does not exist, experiencing events entirely outside of our control? What if we came back from death and returned with memories of impossible landscapes, unexplainable in the physical world? These questions put us in the shoes (and minds) of a very real population — individuals who have lived through a near death experience (San Filippino). Through academic research and artistic experimentation, I have created a body of work investigating near death experiences. Specifically, this project focuses on the visual and sensual elements that affect the mind during a neardeath state. Recurring patterns appear in accounts of near-death imagery, forming an intriguing mystery as to what exactly causes these visuals to consistently occur across the board. Tunnels accompanied by blinding lights are the haunting standard among these experiences (Martial). Tunnel Vision simulates the imagery of a hallucinatory near-death state of consciousness, interpreted into a narrative collection of surreal paintings with intent to analyze the complex transcendental and emotional meaning of these experiences and convey symbolic undertones to the viewer. Altered states of consciousness can leave the mind vulnerable to receiving information gathered not from sensory bodily signals, but instead fueled by an unknown source. Neardeath experiences are notorious for their high intensity, awe-inducing, and mystifying sensory visions. Individuals report undeniably similar accounts of this experience as a collective, with recurrent imagery following a clear pattern (Martial). Popularized through vague depictions in modern entertainment, a dark tunnel with a light at the end holds strong as a prevalent visual effect of living through a near death experience (Bressloff). I was fascinated by the frequency of the tunnel. The form itself conveys features of an in-between place, a connection between two distinctive locations. Taking the context of a bright light shining at the end, the tunnel seems to occupy time by suggesting a clear path of movement. How can this be? How can someone travel through a space that does not exist, consuming time that does not exist either? The uncertainties of these dreamlike events inspired the setting of the narrative depicted throughout my pieces. Weaving lines and organic patterns branch expansively in the background, with only the final painting breaking the chain. These networks of abstract forms are intended to suggest an unfamiliar and otherworldly plane, establishing the location as a realm of the mind. The natural imagery also serves the purpose of rooting this event to the corporeal body by mimicking human structures, while maintaining the unfamiliar and strange tone of the setting. This is important to the compositional support of the character by denoting her as an isolated protagonist with no control over her surroundings. Additionally, the veinlike structures imply that her body still physically exists. The character is a faceless woman who represents an individual’s journey through a near-death hallucination. She is naked, expressing her vulnerability and stripping her of connection to the outside world. Her face is obstructed by long hair caught in the motion of the tunnel, and her body is stylized to enhance expression throughout the narrative.
This character was designed to be an anonymous figure for the viewers to relate to, while still giving her enough unique features to identify her as a person rather than a blank slate. Helpless to the motion she is plunged into, the character travels through a series of events based on the timeline of a near-death experience.
There are five commonly accepted stages of a tunnel hallucination (San Filipino). Consistently following a linear narrative, the mind descends into a dark tunnel and rises through the other side into a bright light. Each painting pulls imagery from descriptions of these stages, illustrating an interpretation of the experience. The first painting reflects the initiation; a sinking feeling. The woman is falling out of herself, surrounded by a brain-like web above a pit. As she falls into this pit, it stretches into a warped tunnel that spins her body. Her spine and veins are detached, representing body separation as the second stage. The center painting is the most visually simple, yet it holds strong as the climax. Accompanied by an interactive oculus, the painting simulates first person movement through the tunnel. A kaleidoscope within the oculus rotates on a crank operated by the viewer. Its crystalline head shaped vessel welcomes a look into the mind, as well as perhaps a symbolic kiss of (near) death. The broken glass that makes up this sculpture reflects the fragmented state of the mind during a near-death
experience. Light shining through a hole in the center of the tunnel floods the kaleidoscope, creating a distorted circular image. I included the oculus as a way to immerse the viewer in a dynamic and suspended moment. The distortion of reality also mirrors the influence of a near-death experience on perception. Following the peak stage, the character has exited the tunnel and is sitting under a network of light. She reaches her hand up to enter the light and returns to the physical world in shock. Reality reforms around her as she rises back into her body, coming full circle with only a memory of this terrifying and inexplicable mental event. Together these paintings string a visual narrative of an individual’s interpretation of near-death experience. Framed in the same vein-like tangled wire, the “V” formation of the display symbolizes the descent into the tunnel, sinking down past the body, then rising back to life. Following the character through this rise and fall, Tunnel Vision intends to replicate a sympathetic response in the viewer as well as providing a sensory experience similar to the timeline of a near-death experience.
For my purposes, I am viewing these hallucinations through a lens of experiential, emotional, and sensory occurrences rather than scientifically reciting the chemical reasoning of a near-death body response. This emphasizes the conceptual connections of near-death experiences by limiting the scope to an unconscious change of perception within the mind. Tunnel Vision mainly concerns the complex illusionary aspects of this circumstance, and the symbolism ingrained within those recurring images. While the project does not necessarily develop the character beyond this visualization, it is important to consider the real effects and aftermath of a near-death experience. Qualitative research finds that living post-near-death has a massive impact on emotional outlook and interaction with the world. Although near-death experiences are undeniably tragic and terrifying experiences, the reports of long-term positive reactions are surprisingly common (Greyson). A positive change in personal growth and general outlook on life is reported to be a notable aftereffect. This adds another layer of symbolism, strengthening the archetypal idea of tunnels as a vessel for transformation. The tunnel exists as an in-between, a link from an origin and a destination. It is not quite here, not quite there. This brings concepts of liminality and spatial influence to light, acting as an emotional catalyst during and after the experience. Liminal space is considered an uncanny feature of specific environments, where things tend to feel just a bit off (Shortt). Tunnel Vision allows viewers to simulate liminality, both through witnessing the depicted character travel through a liminal experience, as well as viewing a distorted space within the kaleidoscope. Common responses to liminal spaces include a sense of displaced time and sudden hyper-awareness of reality (Shortt). The space inside the tunnel is what I would consider the most liminal of all, considering the fact that it is a landscape that does not exist. To feel such vivid sensorial images within the realm of unconsciousness, and then to live on in our mundane world, surely would impact one’s perception of reality, life, death, and everything in between as a transformative turning point. Tunnel Vision interacts with the viewer to fabricate a similar heightened sense of spatial confusion within a limited time frame, ending on a note that explores internal transformation and acceptance of change in perception. Historically, many cultures have considered the tunnel as a sacred symbol associated with change and evolution (Grosso). Hindu, Eastern European, and Mayan cultures all independently incorporated tunnel imagery into their ritualistic beliefs as the physical embodiment of rebirth and spiritual evolution (Correspondent, Grundhauser, Shaer). During the process of conceptualizing Tunnel Vision, these global perspectives influenced the work by providing insight into the relevance and intrinsic symbolism of the tunnel. Tunnels are an example of what I would consider to be abstract psychogeography, meaning that simply the liminal features of their corporeal form influences the mind’s interpretation of the environment (Souzin). This would explain the widespread associations between tunnels and concepts of transformation across numerous cultures. Tunnel Vision plays with psychogeography through illusionary effects within the kaleidoscope, using motion, time, and liminality to create an experience that has inspired feelings of transformation across many diverse sources. The character’s journey throughout the narrative uses these concepts in the surreal setting, stark imagery, and dramatic style to achieve the same goal of transformative emotion. When placed in the context of a near-death experience, these widely accepted tunnel archetypes take shockingly relevant meanings. Again and again, we see remarkable patterns between the image of the tunnel and spiritual concepts of enlightenment, rebirth, and reconstruction.
There is no greater perceivable transformation than the act of dying. We as humans cannot entirely understand the prospect of the mind separating from the body, into the unknown. To face that, and live on in our perceived waking world, is a life-changing transformation in itself. In addition, the recorded changes in emotional outlook and spiritual security that follow a near-death experience bond this tunnel experience to another evolution of the self. Visual mystery surrounding the phenomenon lines up with the transformative context, our ingrained understanding of archetypes, the tunnel form itself, and patterns throughout individual emotional responses. The hallucinatory tunnel imagery present in near-death experiences overlaps with the complex effects of the experience itself. Tunnel Vision is a personal spin on a simulative near-death experience, intending to invoke a similar transformative emotional event to emphasize connections between its imagery, context, symbolism. The paintings follow an abstracted interpretation of a tunnel hallucination, working with the oculus to emulate these emotional pathways through visual storytelling, complex imagery that plays with distortion of reality, and a collectively surreal setting consistent throughout the experience. In our comfortable space settled in reality, we can gaze downward into the kaleidoscope and strain to catch glimpses of that transformative energy locked within our internal unearthly landscape; the tunnel.
Sweet subsistence Lauren Nichols
It can freeze your brain, steal your movements, your speech, it can contort your mind, your perception of yourself, skew the world around you, and blur reality. Trauma can do so much more than just flashbacks and anxiety, it can shift almost every aspect of your life. For example CPTSD, or complex post-traumatic stress disorder, comes from prolonged stressors, often in childhood, that could seem small but after endured for long periods of time they can cause lasting damage. With my work I want to draw attention to the symptoms that aren’t always addressed. I am proving that trauma and CPTSD heavily affect the mind and can alter world perception, interpersonal relationships, working memory, and self perception which isn’t commonly talked about in regards to trauma.
If you have never experienced trauma and the effects that come with it, there’s a good chance someone you know has. These problems affect so many people and they may not even be aware of it, why their brain works the way it does or why their body reacts certain ways. 70 % of adults have experienced trauma in their lifetime. Dissociation caused by trauma is like a prolonged fight or flight. You take a backseat in your brain and it just goes on autopilot. It's a tactic your brian uses to protect you from triggers or harm, but when you can’t turn it off it causes more problems than solutions. It can cause skewed perception of time, days or weeks can go by without notice and all you observe It can cause an altered sense of self, you can feel completely disconnected to yourself or are is a passive observer. body. This is referred to as depersonalization, it can cause you to not recognize yourself in the mirror. It can also cause memory loss, certain memories become very fuzzy or disappear completely and forming new long term memories of what's happening around you can be extremely difficult Forming new, meaningful relationships poses many obstacles with CPTSD because mistrust and anxious attachment are very common and make getting close to another person in a healthy way hard to do. I address all of these issues that affect those who suffer from CPTSD in my body of work. I made it so that people who go through these things because of trauma, whether they realize it or not, can see it and feel seen. I also want those who don’t experience this to have the opportunity to understand those around them better. Lastly, this is a way for me to heal myself, many use art as a way to process their emotions and I am no different.
I created this collection of work by first researching how trauma affects people. I quickly noticed that the articles I was finding didn’t discuss how heavily the effects of trauma impact the lives of those who have it. I compiled a list of effects that I felt were broad enough to connect to more people. I then had to think about imagery and how I wanted to represent each one. Its always easier for me to describe how I feel mentally in metaphors and abstractions rather than straight forward language because these feelings are rarely straight forward. I looked at artists that also have portrayed trauma in their work to find inspiration. Artists like Francis Bacon and Tracy Emin were helpful while developing my ideas, Bacon with his unique use of anatomy and Emin with her tender displays of memorable objects. After coming up with imagery that I connected with each, I had to think about media. I have done a combination of sculpture and painting for my work. I chose what medium to do each topic in by how well I thought the imagery and feelings I was trying to portray would translate in different media
I chose to use a lot of found objects in my sculpture because many of them had sentimental value to me and connected to my topic of working memory loss. I use little seemingly useless objects to help me remember moments in time so I have collected so many throughout the years. What may seem like trash are precious memories I am desperately trying to hold onto. Using found objects or recycled materials also feels right when making work about trauma because dealing with trauma on a day to day basis feels like just doing the best you can with the cards you were dealt, and that's the same with using recycled materials.
The rest of my works are painting, three of which are done in mostly watercolor. Watercolor is a fitting medium because it is sometimes unpredictable or hard to control, you have to go with the mistakes and make something good out of them. My final finished body of work uses multiple media and many different materials because trauma can be so different at certain times because of where you are in processing and healing. Trauma is also different for each individual person. By using a wide variety in my work I also show what variety trauma can have. What I want viewers to take away from my work is I want people who have similar symptoms to look at my work and see their own experiences in them, even I’m really just trying to put these complex feelings and experiences onto paper in a way that helps me understand them better and in hopes it will help others in return. Making these works was very therapeutic for me, it helped me feel like my experiences were real because I put them on something physically. I also find it therapeutic to look at other works of art that I relate to, and that is my hope with this. However my work also aims to communicate with others that don’t experience this so they can better understand the people around them, because chances are if you don’t experience trauma symptoms you know someone who does. It's about conversation, and It's about letting others in my shoes relate to what they see in my work and feel seen.
Fellow Worker Amber Williams
The goal of this series is to humanize fellow workers in expressive and impactful pieces that embrace my subjects with humor, earnestness, and revolutionary love. I seek to render beautiful, skillful portraits that encapsulate a moment in their lives, which not only make them feel seen and loved as whole people but provoke an audience to see the subjects and themselves in that same way, and through that, raise class consciousness and solidarity. It was of particular interest and importance to me to undermine the voyeuristic, exploitative default of both the camera and the historic portrayal of the worker. Through this project I intend to give the subjects autonomy and power over these pieces, and make them not only collaborative, but an exchange with the viewer as well. In a subversion of the royal portraiture of the 16th, 17th, and 18th centuries, with their courts with their visual language gratuitous hunting hauls, absurd collars, and ludicrous parliamentary robes, I sought to give the same care and power of narrative to my fellow workers but render them in a way that brought them closer to the audience rather than elevating them artificially above it.
Mr. B
Artist and Mental Health Specialist. "When you smile, their faces certainly will mirror that of your OWN. And it may not be KNOWN; all of the trauma that they have endured and seemingly been THROUGH. But when they look at YOU, they are seeking something more powerful than just the NORM. Emotions are very WORN and usually circumstances exceed and way past DIRE. But your smile reminds them that precious things are perfected in the FIRE. Your smile reflects their own testimony of overcoming to all the MASSES. They lost everything in emotional blaze but they FOUND EVERYTHING IN THE ASHES!!!"
Instead of adorning them with scepters, ornate wigs, and expensive tapestries to demonstrate impossible wealth, I encourage these subjects to sit for a photograph with the people, objects, and clothing that are most important to, and expressive of, themselves. These choices became their own down-to-earth, accessible symbology, encapsulating a moment of importance for the person portrayed and communicating with the viewer their human connection to the subject. I made six portraits of overworked, underappreciated friends and coworkers in pastel, on 19-inch by 24-inch Bristol board, working from my own reference photos and those I take in collaboration with fellow students. Stylistically, I wanted to experiment with abstractions in color to lend character and expression like US pastel artist Christian Scott, whose vibrant figural works are both strange and human. I wanted to integrate innovations in pastel solutions with water and mineral oil to approximate the delicate, luxuriant textures like Canadian artist Zachari Logan. I wanted to experiment with different tools like pastel pencil and charcoal 'underpainting' to create incredible intimacy and detail like Nigerian pastel artist Christian Allison D.
Molly
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Molly
Career bartender, organizer. "Holler goblin, contest winner, too loud, good friend, good comrade." -Paul, Molly's partner "Molly Stephens is a career bartender with experience from gay dives to fine dining. she strategically uses her position as a way to engage with the working class and build community and solidarity. Being able to interface with every kind of person in a context of providing hospitality is a revolutionary act in which care and joy are prioritized, and people always come first."
Benji Behavior Interventionist, Mental Health Specialist "Growing up in small farm town Ohio I worked hard, did my best in school. Grew into what I thought was normal but it felt off. I'm now out and transgender. Now the outside matches the inside. I'm finally happy."
Both pastel and Bristol were chosen as proletarian, accessible, affordable materials. Photos were used for reference out of respect and necessity due to the minimal time we all have as workers who are also entrepreneurs, or artists, or students, or caregivers, or organizers, or combinations of all of these, who can carve out 30-60 minutes for a photoshoot but not 6 hours for a live portrait.
“The worker sinks to the level of a commodity and becomes indeed the most wretched of commodities; that the wretchedness of the worker is in inverse proportion to the power and magnitude of his production; that the necessary result of competition is the accumulation of capital in a few hands, and thus the restoration of monopoly in a more terrible form; and that finally the distinction between capitalist and land rentier, like that between the tiller of the soil and the factory worker, disappears and that the whole of society must fall apart into the two classes – property owners and propertyless workers.” (Marx)
In the role of the worker, we sell first our time, then our lives, and increasingly ourselves. The US economy is primarily a service economy, where the majority of workers provide some kind of customer service; retail, food, sales, media, transportation, health care, and so on. In service work, emotional labor takes a toll, with workers compelled to “enhance the status of the customer and entice further sales by their friendliness” with a performance of smiles and pleasantness completely at odds with the internal state of stress, misery, poverty, fear, and resentment. Further, now in the social media and surveillance age, we carry this emotional labor into every aspect of our lives; perpetually performing for the eye of the employer. We cannot be sexual or bawdy, we cannot be silly or irreverent, we cannot be sad, sick, or overly celebratory. We are only permitted to be one thing: the usable, disposable, happy, hirable, fire-able, ever-ready worker. I set out to create a space and time where these people could be seen, and see themselves, and inspire others to see themselves, as people, not things to be purchased, posed, traded, used. Here, to the degree I can give them the freedom to be it, they are whole; sexy, sentimental, strong, vulnerable, complex, shy, funny, tired, fascinating, playful, reserved, proud, modest, beautiful, complete.
Rachel and Tiki
Mental health specialist, full time nursing student "Tiki's mom. Tie dye expert. Loyal friend. Reliable sister. Loving granddaughter."
Onna Mental Health Specialist, hair stylist, small business owner "I am a single, educated mother of 3. Every single day I’m constantly changing the outcome. Whether it’s calming a patient down that’s upset because they got hot dogs instead of pizza for lunch, or breaking up a fight between my 5 year old twin boys because Josiah wouldn’t stop looking at Omari…(these are real life reasons why fights start in my house hold). These are the things that I enjoy doing. This picture shows how I feel on the inside… when i hit my 30’s I fell in love with myself. I started to live for myself. I let go of a lot of past hurt, anger and situations that didn’t bring me peace. I can honestly say that i am free."
Neither romanticism, with its glorified and unrealistic depictions, nor realism, with its voyeuristic and pitying tones engage with the worker as a whole person. Even Jean-Francois Millet’s Gleaners, the 19th century French realist’s famous and controversial painting of peasant women harvesting wheat, is an arms-length handling of workers. I want the subjects to be in control of the narrative, to be shown and centered as themselves, for themselves. I wanted, more than anything, to communicate my affection and respect for them, in their complexity, humanity, and beauty. I hope I honored them. Thank you to my classmates and professor Molina for enduring this series with me. Thank you to photographers Grace Park and Rissy, for the gifts of their photography expertise, delightful company, and vitally, their time during an incredibly challenging semester. To my incredible friends and coworkers Brent Billingsley, Molly Stephens, Issac “Benji” Williams, Rachel Neal, Onna Rolley, and Cheryl Wethington Gaustad; thank you for your time, patience, kindness, strength, humanity, humor, beauty, and solidarity. We’re all we’ve got, and I’m lucky to have you.
Cheryl Mental Health Specialist "I am passionate about what I do at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital. My work kids hold a special place in my heart. At work I’m know as Momma Cheryl, and when my kids make a mistake, I shrug it off and say, 'They're sorry. They didn’t mean it.' My greatest passion is being the mother to my 5 children. They are my joy."
We are not individuals is composed in two parts, a canopy and a rug and was
created with the collection of our experiences in mind. The canopy aims to emulate the cherry tree I sat in the shade of every summer. To this day I still pluck the vibrant pink flowers off of it every spring to carry around with me as a small ornament of the place I call home, a defining characteristic of the house we lived in.
In We are Not Individuals, the canopy is composed of branches picked up from green spaces I live near. Most notably branches were collected from the yard of my home including from the cherry tree referenced earlier, the parks I spent days playing at with friends, the campus I walk every day for classes, and from outside the Dance studioI spent hours practicing at during my youth. All of these locations are a home to me, I have spent hours of my life at these places as i've grown up. Each location has seen good days and days I struggled, and each place has given me the comfort of home when I felt separated from who I am. The branches are interwoven starting with the thickest and largest and slowly working down to the smallest branches. These were tied together with wire for stability and twine for aesthetic unity, these joints were also triple secured with wood glue to ensure they would remain in proper place throughout transport and the exhibition. Added to the branches were artificial foliage and delicate lights to both fill out gaps but to also give the impression of a lush and full canopy of trees with sunlight shining through. This created the base from which all other work was built off, flower like items were fabricated from often overlooked items from home. The lace of a dress that no longer fits, sweaters passed down from mother to daughter and worn into disuse, fabric scraps from quilts long since finished, a piece of pretty ribbon found then forgotten on the counter. These items are reminders of the places we have been and the tiny details that make a place familiar to us. These items might be left in a box under the stairs, or lost in a stack of bills but when found and recognized they bring us back to a memory. Also hidden among the canopy are more clear items of family like lego pieces my father had an abundance of or beads my best friend and i wore to our first highschool football game, each of these items is attached to a specific memory of someone I loved. Each one picked with meticulous careand attention to the thing it represents, the eternal persistence of memory because it has found an object to attach itself to.