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at t h e r h s c h e l s e a f l o w e r s h o w
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a n i r r e v e r e n t l o o k at t h e r h s c h e l s e a f l o w e r s h o w i n s p i r e d b y t h e w o r l d wa r o n e n e w s pa p e r w h i c h t o o k a h u m o r o u s l o o k at l i f e o n t h e f r o n t l i n e w e a r e i n d e b t e d t o a l l w h o c o n t r i b u t e d t o t h e o r i g i n a l pa p e r s . o p i n i o n s e x p r e s s e d i n t h i s p u b l i c at i o n a r e n o t f i t f o r p u b l i c c o n s u m p t i o n a n d d o n o t n e c e s s a r i ly r e f l e c t t h e v i e w o r o p i n i o n s o f t h e r h s , t h e s o l d i e r s ’ c h a r i t y , t h e b r i t i s h a r m y o r a n yo n e e l s e a s s o c i at e d i n a n y way w i t h t h i s p u b l i c at i o n
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WE ARE IN!
S T E P H E N F RY W R I T E S
We are delighted to announce that The Soldiers’ Charity has completed basic training and is ready to enter the RHS Chelsea Flower Show 2014. Despite a number of lapses which resulted in ‘dropping and giving 20’ including one notable incident where a small explosive device was used instead of an excavator, we have passed and have earned our stripes.
As the grandson (on my Mother’s side) of a successful, highly decorated and even more decorative General who distinguished himself in what was to become known as the First World War, perhaps it is time that this whole notion of “lions led by donkeys” is put to rest and the record set straight.
We have been entrenched in our studies learning that plants don’t grow underwater, the common garden wasp is a more than worthy adversary and that flowers have sillier names than Generals. All barbed wire has been banned on health and safety grounds, sandbags are not suitable for building water features, and despite our best efforts you cannot gaffer tape trees back together.
The general staff, as exemplified by Grandpapa Melchett (who sadly died in a shouting accident just twenty years before I was born) were serious and dedicated men and women. Well men, but one has to add “women” these days or one gets a bollocking on twitter. It was perhaps the last era in British history where respect was unquestioningly given to those whose moustaches, swagger sticks and airs of authority demanded it.
It has been a long tour of duty, come see what we have achieved and we look forward to welcoming you all. We are proud to join the ranks of General Titchmarsh, Platoon Sergeant Cleve West and the Italian One in having our own garden ready to stand for inspection.
FLOWER OF T H E DAY
My grandfather was a professional soldier, having cut his teeth and once by accident his batman’s carotid artery, in the colonial wars that included the Boer War and the Mahdi uprising, which saw him take part in the last cavalry charge in British military history at Omdurman under Kitchener, a successful and dashing assault in which the young Winston Churchill also participated. A man whose bark was infinitely better than his bite, Grandpapa was promoted swiftly out of the way of actual field combat and it was behind a desk, poring over a map and pouring out a good claret that he found his true talent and vocation. He inspired those under him to extraordinary feats of daring and exemplary acts of sacrifice. Yet throughout his life after the war he always maintained that, despite his experience quartered in Château Vieuxcul-duMarron almost within actual sound of the artillery fire, he would happily undergo the experience of the Great War again. What a man. What a legend. Before they made him they broke the mould. There will never be another Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmanay Melchett. Or will there? It is rumoured that his kind still stalks the corridors of the Ministry of Defence and the Combined Service College. I do hope so.
‘No Man’s Land’ Yesterday
CORN US C AN D E N SI S The ‘creeping dogwood’ is most commonly found at the edges of moist woodlands. Native to the New World, Cornus canadenis was used in traditional Native American medicine, taken internally or applied as a poultice to reduce the potency of poisons. Not to be brought inside. Chews the furniture. Partial to slippers and postmen.
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