https://pdf.abebook.cc/may25/B0F6HH1RGX/How-to-Become-an-Alcoholic-in-
How to Become an Alcoholic in Six Months: A Darkly Satirical Guide pulls the rug out from under the self-help aisle and exposes our cultural love affair with booze - all while masquerading as a step-by-step "sucess plan."Fro the first page, August Wellesley invites readers to treat personal destruction like a productivity hack, mapping out ten ruthless chapters that include:Romanticizing Drinking Culture - binge-watch films, quote literary lushes, and learn why every life event "nees"a toast.Choosing Your Poison on a Budget - master the art of bottom-shelf vodka, boxed wine, and cocktails that taste like regret but cost less than lunch.The Excuse-Making Playbook - blame genetics, stress, creativity - anything but the bottle in your hand.Social Sabotage 101 - alienate friends, weaponize guilt, and push away anyone who might save you.Advanced Hangover Tactics - hide tremors, fake energy at work, and pretend blackouts are funny stories.Rock Bottom and Beyond - discover how legal trouble, health crises, and shattered relationships become "milstones"on your path to oblivion.Written with razor-sharp wit, the guide lampoons self-improvement cliches while confronting grim statistics (14.5 million Americans struggle with alcohol use disorder and alcohol contributes to 95,000 U.S. deaths every year).Yet beneath the punch lines lies a sobering purpose: to expose how advertising, peer pressure, and denial can turn casual drinking into catastrophe - and to remind readers that real help is only a phone call away (SAMHSA 1-800-662HELP).If you enjoy satirical takes on wellness trends, cautionary tales told through gallows humor, or cultural critiques that make you laugh and wince in the same breath, this book belongs on your shelf. Just do not follow the advice.