The Roles I’ll Play Bre Kenney
in life, we’re often put into boxes but there’s space and room to move and grow in theatre, there aren’t boxes instead you’re pinched and squeezed and poked and prodded until you fit into the body of someone else entirely and sometimes it’s a perfect fit with just enough room to make it your own, but for others you find yourself exploding out the sides and over the top, not because you aren’t good at what you do, but because you’re fat. and in theatre, being fat isn’t easy. it isn’t fun. it isn’t rewarding or exciting or exhilarating it’s exhausting. it’s humiliating. it’s walking into an audition room knowing you’ll be cast as an old woman AGAIN. it’s getting a callback and being told that you look too MATURE for this role. its being told you’re not right for the lead but you’re PERFECT for the funny sidekick again and again and again Being fat in real life isn’t fun either, but I am in control of how I look Of what I say Of how I move But when I’m onstage, it’s the costumer who puts me in clothes that don’t fit quite right It’s the playwright who decides what I say and when It’s the director who tells me where to go and how to look while doing it The decisions aren’t mine to make, but the shame is mine to bear
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