Gender Identity

FOCUS MAGAZINE | A REMARKER PUBLICATION | FEBRUARY 2018

GENDER IDENTITY

YOU’VE HEARD NEWS STORIES. READ HEADLINES. AND NOTICED IT. MAYBE YOU’VE SEEN SOMEONE ON THE STREET AND DONE A DOUBLE TAKE. YOU SAW THE COVER OF VANITY FAIR AND NOTICED IT, TOO. ACROSS THE COUNTRY — IN SCHOOLS, IN RESTROOMS, IN THE MILITARY AND IN LEGISLATION CHAMBERS — PEOPLE ARE NOTICING IT. THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT IT. FIGHTING FOR IT. SOME ARE EVEN SHOUTING IT. BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

W

e know what you’re going to say.

Why us?

Why now?

Why gender identity?

Many people believe journalists live for shock value — writing about a topic for the sheer purpose of keeping readers riled up.

In the past, publications here have been accused of doing that very thing: reporting on homosexuality, the Black Lives Matter movement, the ambiguities of sexual aggression,

WHY? among others — topics that are stymied in backlash.

Now, we explore gender identity — what it is, what it brings forth and its implications on our society and school.

If you take offense to taking on this topic, consider this: our duty as journalists is to inform — inciting conversations that will allow readers to reach their own conclusions.

We believe this complex topic and its implications on campus can no longer be ‘the elephant in the room.’

What’s the point? The goal of this publication is not to influence, to attack or to push forward opinions on our readership.

Our goal is simply to educate — to equip our community with the facts

2 GENDER IDENTITY

necessary to draw independent, individual conclusions.

It’s not our goal to change your opinion or stance on the topic of gender identity. Just like our readers, we want to be educated and informed enough to develop our own opinions.

In these 28 pages, we will share the stories and present the facts of the transgender population that is becoming more prominent in our society — a population that, by its very nature, brings radical change to our politics, to our social systems and to schools like our own.

THIS IS RELEVANT. From the Texas Privacy Act known as the ‘Bathroom Bill’ to President Trump’s transgender military ban and Danica Roem’s recent election to the Virginia state legislature, the growing prominence of gender identity issues in the national media make this a harder and harder topic to ignore each time it’s brought up.

THIS IS LEADERSHIP. As Marksmen prepare to enter the larger world, we encourage students to embrace the challenging topics — not turning a blind eye to that which we do not know.

THIS IS EDUCATION. The facts, experts and faces of this magazine — whether Navy SEALs, activists, children or parents — are guiding us as we learn, grow, accept and understand.

And that’s exactly what we hope this magazine does for you.

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6 Navy SEAL, Kristin Beck

Riley Cole ’17

The politics Stephe Koontz: transgender politician Kristin Beck: a Navy SEAL for her country Boy Scouts: the changing Scout culture The faces Danielle Canterberry ’99: a Marskman transitions Jazz and Evan: stories of identity and realization Riley Cole ’17: discovering their truth Paula Ellis: activist for all Your questions answered

5 6 8 10 11 12 14 16 17

The science When’s the right time?

The facts: studies, numbers and details from the experts in the field

18 19 20

The schools SDLC: diversity, focusing on tomorrow IBSC: viewpoints of boys’ schools around the world Instructor: Alex Myers, trailblazer in the journey toward education Marksmen: administrators look to the future

22 23 24 25 26

FOCUS MAGAZINE

Focus, a thrice-yearly magazine supplement to The ReMarker focusing on a single topic, is a student publication of St. Mark’s School of Texas, 10600 Preston Road, Dallas, TX 75230.

Editors CJ Crawford Duncan Kirstein Photographers Riley Sanders Kyle Smith Writers Andy Crowe Sahit Dendekuri Zach Gilstrap Ishan Gupta Nathan Han Eric Hirschbrich Zoheb Khan Nick Malvezzi Kamal Mamdani James Rogers Kobe Roseman Mark Tao Wallace White Tianming Xie

Photo: Courtesy Kristin Beck

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From courtrooms to city streets Government officials are at odds over many things, and for the past few months, transgender issues have spurred plenty of controversy.

An entire population finds itself in the spotlight as people argue over which bathroom should be used, whether or not they can fight for their country and a myriad of other topics.

In 2017, the trans-

gender community saw record political gains.

School board officials and city council members who are openly transgender were elected, and the first openly transgender state legislator, Danica Roem, was elected in Virginia, making history and paving the way for future transgender politicians. The voter turnout and election results show people are increasingly willing to throw their support behind a transgender candidate.

The next five pages will

discuss the events of recent years — providing context for the stories to come. Right now, the world is changing.

Tolerance is becoming a norm and acceptance the status quo.

THE POLITICS

THE MOVERS, THE SHAKERS, THE POLICIES

4 POLITICS

SPEAKING OUT On the anniversary of President Trump’s inauguration, both cisgender and transgender Dallas citizens rally in protest and support of gender causes.

IN THE DEEP SOUTH, A NEW FACE IN POLITICS

A CONCERNED CITIZEN Koontz talks to a crowd of eager listeners after winning the city council election by just six votes— becoming Georgia’s only transgender elected official. She hopes to be a role model for youth and an important figure in her city.

Stephe Koontz has been wanting to give back for a decade. Now, as a transgender woman and city council member in Doraville, Georgia, she has that opportunity.

When I signed up to run for city council, I wasn’t running to be a transgender candidate. I was running as a 30-year citizen of this city who was concerned with the issues that we were facing.

For the last ten years, I’ve been considering running for city council, and every time I would talk to friends, they told me that “you’re transgender, you’re unelectable, you can’t run for city council.” And so I basically bought into what people that I trusted were telling me and never signed up to run.

There were several things that made it a perfect storm for me to sign up to run. It just felt like the timing was right, especially with when the federal government policies towards transgender people were being removed.

I wanted to try and be a role model to transgender youth, to show them that, win or lose, I’m out here in the public eye, running as an openly transgender person.

I think it sends the message of hope, that [transgender youth] don’t have to hide who they are.

I feel like, in some ways, it broke this glass ceiling that transgender people couldn’t do certain things simply because of who they are.

What I’m really proud of my city for is that nobody here has made a big deal out of me being transgender. I think the people here just see me as a qualified councilperson now. The times are changing, and people are able to look past someone being transgender or someone being gay. I feel like we’re heading in the direction

where that’s not going to be an issue in the future.

I feel like probably part of the reason that my being transgender wasn’t a big issue is that I’m a female-appearing person, and it’s easier for people to wrap their mind around you being one gender or the other. They can understand that you are born male, but now you’re living as a female.

And I’m not sure how long it’ll take for somebody to do what I did as a gender non-binary person.

I can’t speak for all transgender people, but I know for myself.

I’ve known that I was born in the wrong gender since I was two or three years old. It was probably one of the first things remember in my life, realizing that something didn’t align. This isn’t a lifestyle. I think one of the worst things about LGBT people is calling it a lifestyle.

That bad language needs to be eradicated. This isn’t a choice.

When I was early in my transition I dealt with quite a few really rude, hostile people publicly shaming me. There were a handful of people that lived in Doraville that said some very ugly, hateful things to me about me being transgender.

It’s bizarre —those comments came from gay and lesbian people. We have to stop attacking each other.

I’m not going to pretend that there’s nobody in the city that voted against me simply because I’m transgender. I’m sure that happened. It was a very close election. From my perspective, there were six more people that did support me in spite of the fact that I’m transgender. And to me,

that’s huge.

I think not only me, but also the other transgender officials that got elected this past cycle have just sent a message out to the country that transgender people exist as more than whatever they thought transgender people were, and that we are citizens who are contributing to society and willing to serve the public.

My first thought was ‘I actually won an election as a transgender woman in Georgia’ and just being proud of the fact that the community I live in has changed their mindset to the point where enough people live here so that I could be elected. The swearing-in night was probably the happiest I’ve ever been, and I’m 58 years old, so I’ve had different experiences through my life. And that was by far the happiest moment in my life.

TIME TO SHINE Koontz’s plan as a council member is to inspire positive change and influence not only in Doraville, GA but in the greater American psyche, as well.

This is something I said to several of my friends: By winning this election as the first elected transgender person in Georgia, if I never do another thing in my life, this act has made the world a better place, and I’m very proud of being able to make a difference in making the world a better place.

This is the year of transgender awareness in the national news, in the normal press, instead of being in the little magazine you see as you’re checking out of the grocery store. And I think that’s a huge difference. We are actually now in normal news that normal people are in. It’s the beginning of the normalization of being transgender, which is huge, just for LGBTQ people in general.

Interview: Ishan Gupta, Photos: Riley Sanders, Courtesy of Stephe Koontz POLITICS 5

BA NN ED

After two decades of war, Kristin Beck is home.

She has served her country, and she’s done it as a transgender woman.

She wasn’t the only transgender American to put their life on the line, though.

Almost 10,000 people who currently serve our country don’t identify as their assigned gender.

Their elegibility to serve, however, was contested last year.

Story: CJ Crawford, Tianming Xie Additional Reporting: Sam Goldfarb

6 POLITICS

I

n 2011, Kristin Beck retired from the Navy after 20 years of service.

After earning various service medals, four commendation medals, three acheivement medals, two campaign medals, two expiditionary medals, two marksmanship medals, one NATO medal, one special forces command (USSOCOM) medal, one presidential unit citation, one joint meritorious unit award, one good conduct award, one combat action ribbon, one Bronze Star and one Purple Heart, she felt like she could finally breathe. Breathe like her freedom had just begun After 13 deployments, she was ready to reunite with her family for good.

But instead of the expected warm welcome, she was met with a “ don’t want you to affect my kids,” from her only sister.

Her mother was worried about what their neighbors would think of Beck.

But why?

Because, for 45 years, Kristin Beck was Christopher Beck, and after spending her life “starving [her]self,” she’s brought her true identity to the public eye. …

The ex-Navy SEAL has become a crucially important activist in transgender rights over the past five years, especially after a documentary about her life aired on CNN in 2014, as well as her co-written book, Warrior Princess, received national acclaim.

After President Trump’s call for a transgender military ban last year, her message of mutual understanding reached congresspeople, senators and generals.

“We’re Navy SEALs — we’re welders, builders, truck drivers. We do everything. We’re all around the world since the beginning of time, and we’re pretty much just regular people,” Beck said. “If you can understand that, then you understand that we’re here… I don’t want extra privileges or an extra piece of cake with my supper, I just want what everyone else gets, just that same amount of liberty.”

As far as a way to help integrate openly transgender soldiers, Beck suggests that

For her country the U.S. to move faster in terms of catching up to other countries such as Canada, Australia, the United Kingdom and many more that have been striving for acceptance for 10 to 20 years.

She believes in looking at what these countries’ tolerance policies practice in order to jump start the U.S. in its integration of transgender individuals in the military. For Beck, starting from square one while other countries are years ahead means the U.S. can learn what is the wrong thing to do.

“When Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (U.S. policy restricting openly gay/lesbian service members) [DADT] was repealed... there were all these nay-sayers, all these people who said the world was going to end, and all these things are going to happen. Everyone was up in arms,” Beck said. “ ...then the next day, a week later, a month later, a year later and everybody’s still waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

In Trump’s twitter declaration, two key reasons for his ban were the medical cost of a trasngender individual and unit cohesion.

Beck realizes while medical cost is involved at times, some trans people just want safety, which in turn can improve the community environment.

“Not every transgender person is going to want to have surgery,” Beck said. “There’s a lot of transgender people who are just like, ‘On weekends, I just want to live a little freedom. I just want to be with my friends and not worry about somebody witch-hunting.’

And when you are living under that fear...

It’s not a productive environment. You’re always hiding.” lthough now she embraces her identity, Beck has traveled a long way to get to this point.

As early as first grade, Beck began to feel a disconnect between the gender she identifies herself as and how others perceived her. Yet, until she retired from the Navy, she suppressed that disconnection for decades.

For decades, she felt like she was depriving herself of a basic need.

“It goes beyond comfort, me being able to be myself; me being able to be Kristin Beck is beyond comfort,” she said. “I put up a huge wall [between] my own personal life and my own personal purpose. [I decided] I would rather have myself oppressed

A

and in a bad spot to make sure that I can serve my country.”

However, while DADT was in talks of being repealed in late 2010, Beck decided she would finally take some small steps toward ending her 20-year-long “hunger strike.” o one day, she decides to go out with friends on base after returning from Afghanistan, wearing a pierced diamond earring in each ear.

“One of the other officers was like, ‘Hey Beck, what’s with those earrings?’”

Beck said. “I was like, ‘Oh shit!’ and I put my hand up, and I [pulled] my earrings out really fast, and I was going, ‘nothing, nothing’ and he [said], ‘alright.’”

Looking back, Beck calls the encounter as funny and awkward, but she is still yearning for an America that isn’t taken aback by what she wears or refers to herself as. That encounter is the first of many in her new life as Kristin Beck.

“This is me as an American citizen with some freedoms, and this is who I am,” Beck said. “If everyone turned around and said, ‘Ok, y’know, whatever, rock on. You’re good,’ I’d be like, ‘all right, that’s a good answer, thanks.’ If I just had a T-shirt and jeans on, and I was just walking about, and they still treated me the same as if I had a dress on, then I would be ok. But the thing is, people don’t.”

Despite her desire of acceptance, however, her spiritual beliefs and patriotism look at the big picture. The big-picture being that gender — male or female — is insignificant.

She believes when death arrives, there is no gender, and we are all nothing more than energy.

Eveything she does now is to help people understand this fact, and to promote tolerace through this understanding.

“I know a lot of trans-men in the military especially, and you’d be really hardpressed to note the difference,” Beck said.

“That guy right there is a kick-ass soldier, and you wouldn’t ever know that it’s a transgender person… just say hey, what’s the difference, this kid is just there, and what’s the difference Treat the person as just another one of the kids, and just leave it alone. It’s not a big deal.”

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“

For all those transgenders out there who want to be in the military, there’s a lot of people in your corner.

— Kristin Beck Navy SEAL

Events surrounding the transgender military ban.

July 26 — President Trump declares via Twitter that the military will refuse the service of transgender individuals. The reasons for the ban are unit cohesion and medical costs.

Aug. 25 — Trump signs an official directive banning transgender soldiers from the military.

Oct. 30 — U.S. District Judge Colleen Kollar-Kotelly rejects the Trump administration’s plan to ban transgender people from military service and to require the military to allow enlistment beginning Jan. 1, 2018.

Dec. 11 — Pentagon announces it will allow transgender people to enter the military and repeal Trump’s ban.

POLITICS 7

THEY’RE JUST SCOUTS For years, the Boy Scouts of America organization has been known for educating young boys on leadership and responsibility. After much pressure in 2017, this opportunity was announced to be extending to girls, boys and transgender individuals —changing the life and definition of a scout forever.

Story: Wallace White, Kamal Mamdani Photos: Duncan Kirstein

8 POLITICS

I

n 1907, Robert Baden-Powell had an idea. He envisioned a place where young boys could become the next generation of leaders.

The Boy Scouts of America (BSA) has always been committed to training tomorrow’s leaders, but until 2013—if a boy was gay— he was denied that opportunity.

Now, in 2018, with the transgender movement being more prevalent than ever, the Boy Scouts has opened its doors to not only transgender boys, but girls as well.

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t. Mark’s Troop 730 Scoutmaster Jerry Birdwell believes the lessons and skills taught in the Boy Scouts program are universal, applying to everyone regardless of race, creed, gender or sexuality.

Along with the inception of Boy Scouts in 1901, a girls-only program called Girl Guides was created three years later.

This allowed for similar opportunities to be given to both boys and girls, but this program quickly lost popularity, fading from much of the public eye in the U.S.. In 1912, Girl Scouts was founded.

“It’s not that the BSA has always been single-sex, it’s been designed as a leadership and character development organization,” Birdwell said. “We are open to diversity based on race, spiritual background and orientation.”

Birdwell believes the decision to allow girls and trans boys into Boy Scouts was largely made due to societal pressures and an ever-more tolerant culture heading into the 21st century. He feels while the Boy Scouts were pressured to make the decision, that doesn’t necessarily mean it was a bad one.

“As we are approaching this new era of more inclusivity and less exclusivity. We will embrace [BSA] guidelines,” Birdwell said.

“Something we pride ourselves on in Troop 730 and BSA is inclusivity and recognition of diversity.

Although girls are allowed into Boy Scouts, freshman Josh Mysore, Troop 730 senior patrol leader, is skeptical as to whether girls will even want to join the organization, as the organization is already mostly boys.

“The reason there’s so much backlash is because there are already programs out there like venture scouts and girl scouts which cater to boys and girls and give opportunities to them,” Mysore said.

“I think girls don’t even want to join [Boy Scouts]. I think 90 percent wouldn’t be comfortable anyway in a majority-boys program.”

T

he BSA is not implementing this change as soon as possible; however, Cub Scouts will start accepting girls in 2018, then Boy Scouts in 2019. Mysore thinks this gradual change is necessary to make sure no undue turmoil arises from rapid change.

“I think they’re going to try and take it slowly versus quickening things and implementing this huge change. It’s shaking a foundation that’s existed for over 100 years,” Mysore said. “In the ‘70s and ‘80s Boy Scouts were not as welcome to change, but now that it’s more modernized, they have more acceptance between gay and transgender members.”

Eighth grader Sahil Dodda said the new addition of girls into Boy Scouts will help diversify the community and its ideas.

“I think having girls is better,”

THEIR MENTOR Scoutmaster Jerry Birdwell (above) lays out the nightly plans for the boys of Troop 730.

GROUP UP Three scouts (below) discuss merit badges and prepare for a productive meeting.

Dodda said. “They will bring more points of views on certain things that Boy Scouts has been previously been closed about.”

Sophomore Mason Antes is supportive of combining the values of Boy and Girl Scouts, but understands the change will not happen without trials and tribulations.

“I believe that there is a transition being made,” Antes said. “I feel like there should be an integration of Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts, but it will be a really hard and very long process.”

The future of the scouting program is uncertain, but the precedent it sets for single-sex organizations could shake the social and business landscape as we know it.

“Hopefully the Boy Scouts can still keep its foundations of working hard and having a strong work ethic.” Mysore said. “We’re getting used to the change, and understanding that the Boy Scouts we have now is not the same as it was 30 years ago.”

FIFTY YEARS OF PROGRESS A history of gender in the Boy Scouts of America organization

1967 Den mother— the head of a den of cub scouts— is changed to den leader to allow both men and women to participate and assist young Scouts.

1973

ON THE FIELD, ON THE MAT

A look at transgender athletes and the rules that help or hinder their competition In the wake of transgender wrestler Mack Begg’s win in the Texas state girls’ wrestling tournement, the University Interscholastic League (UIL) faced backlash for a rule that required Beggs, who transitioned from female to male, to wrestle with girls, despite the fact he was taking testosterone hormone treatments as part of his transition.

After the controversial title, which was met with boos and jeers from the crowd, a Coppell lawyer filed a lawsuit against the UIL claim Beggs, who would prefer to wrestle

Women are allowed to serve in all-adult pack leadership positions; however, this does not include Cubmaster and Webelos den leaders, as well as their respective assistants.

1976 The Cubmaster — the head of multiple dens of Cub Scouts— assistant Cubmaster, and all commissioner positions can also now be filled by women.

Catherine Pollard was the first female Scoutmaster in the Boy Scouts of America; The BSA refused to recognize her as a Scoutmaster until 1988.

2017 Jan. 30 BSA announces transgender boys would be allowed to enroll in boys-only programs effective immediatly.

Southwest Preparatory Conference

BSA announces girls will be allowed to become Cub Scouts, beginning in 2018. In 2019, a seperate program will be available that will allow girls to attain the rank of eagle scout. Scout dens will remain single gender, though.

Because the issues surrounding gender are fairly recent— the controversial UIL rule was only proposed in late 2015 and implemented in 2016— the SPC still doesn’t have a direct rule address the issue of identifying gender for wrestlers or any other athlete.

The SPC Member School Handbook does state, howev-

The National Collegiate Athletic Association’s (NCAA) rules regarding transgender athletes, implemented in 2010, are considered one of the more progressive set of guidelines.

A transgender man not taking testosterone may compete on a women’s team or a men’s team. A transgender woman not on testosterone suppression may only compete on a men’s team, not a

2017 Oct. 11

The International Olympic Committee

against boys, had an unfair advantage due to his treatments. The UIL, however, has a rule regarding the issue. It states steroids can be used under special medical circumstances.

The lawsuit was eventually dismissed by a Travis County judge, and Beggs will be allowed to wrestle again, albeit as a girl.

The issue of identifying the place of a transgender athlete is a topic that continues to elude policy organizers and administrators across the globe.

Over the spring and summer after his title, Beggs wrestled as a male

The University Interscholastic League

er, if the question of a student-athlete’s eligibility is under question, the Member School must receive a written ruling before allowing the athlete to participate in SPC athletics.

The Handbook also states an eligible girl can play on a boys’ SPC team when there is no comparable girls’ SPC team available to her.

women’s team. A male transitioning to female must be on testosterone suppression for at least one year before she then becomes eligible to compete on a women’s team.

Before the one year period expires, she remains eligible to play for the men’s team.

Beggs (see above), if he chooses to continue to wrestle in college, will wrestle with a men’s team under the NCAA rules.

The International Olympic Committee (IOC) was one of the first to address the issue of transgender athletes in 2003, with harsh guidelines that mandated athletes needed surgery in order to participate as transgender athletes.

In November 2015, though, the IOC agreed to new guidelines which state those who transition from female to male are eligible to compete in the

at USA Wrestling events thanks to a new policy loosely based off of the International Olympic Committee (IOC) guidelines.

These same guidelines have shaped transgender policies everywhere, including ten states that have set their own guidelines based off of the IOC’s new policies, which were adopted in 2015.

National Collegiate Athletic Association

male category without restriction But those who transition from male to female are only eligible to compete in the female category under the condition the athlete has declared her gender identity is female.

This cannot be changed for at least four years, and the athlete must keep her total testosterone level below a certain threshold.

Story: Nathan Han

POLITICS 9

Stories and struggles revealed, lives and lessons explored The percentage of the U.S. population that identifies as transgender is small. This begs the questions, why does something have to be done? The military ban, Bathroom Bill and other legislation affects so few people. The key word, however, is people. Those who are transgender are people. There are faces behind the statistics — and consequences to oppression and discrimination. One person knows

this well. Founder of Dallas Fort Worth Trans Kids and Families (DFWTKF) Melissa Ballard has seen kids go through everything from love to hate during her time with DFWTKF. The organization began in 2015 with around 20 people going to group therapy weekly. Therapy ended with dinner at Hunky’s, one of the few restaurants that would take the group of kids and parents in. There were other kids, however, that felt alone. These kids wanted a group too, and so, Ballard’s group

outgrew the restaurant, and then they outgrew houses. The group kept growing until they were over 600 strong. A group of kids and parents numbering over half a thousand.

These families that are a part of the organization have stories. They all have lives—and they don’t even make up the entire Dallas trans community.

THE

FACES

THE PEOPLE, THE STORIES, THE STRUGGLES

10 FACES

JUST ANOTHER DAY As arguments and debates regarding gender identity issues heat up, are people losing sight of who is truly affected by the legislation and policies in question?

GRADUATED A MARKSMAN Nineteen years later, Danielle Canterberry ’99 is still a Marksman...

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he sums it up with a simple analogy: magine you are a fireman.

You’re pretty good at being a fireman, you’re respected for being a fireman, you’re paid for being a fireman- you’re comfortable being a fireman.

But one day, someone says otherwise.

Without warning, you’re given a police badge and a police uniform, and you’re expected to be a policeman. The police attire might fit you, but something’s not right. ou know what you are. But, people don’t seem to get the hints.

Danielle Canterberry ’99 had been living with an unshakeable feeling of false identity her whole life.

••• Even as a child, she knew something was off. n the way others interacted with her, how she interacted with others something didn’t feel right.

Sometimes, she would explore her gender identity, careful not to get caught. anterberry says it was very much a game of keeping herself hidden.

“There were definitely signals, for sure,” anterberry said. “ was always questioning, but didn’t really know what it was. And my parents, God knows what they thought.”

Through her three years at St. Mark’s, anterberry says she was a fabrication a fiction made to help cope with her own confusion. “ t was a little purposeful in that kind of created this stuff about me that may or may not have been true,” anterberry said. “ was trying to fit in and was trying to have fun. t was also very unintentional. wasn’t trying to deliberately put up this fake front in front of everyone.”

But she did, and anterberry regrets doing so. As a Marksmen, she had made close friends, friends she was supposed to have for life, but they never met Danielle. They only knew the boy from St. Mark’s.

And now she hasn’t spoken to them since 1999. She hasn’t spoken to anyone except two or three of her former classmates. She deliberately made a point to not reach out

to anybody.

“I don’t know why,” Canterberry said. “ just assumed that if there were people who wanted to interact with me they would.”

Four years passed, and she was gradually starting her process of transitioning. Every year meant another phase. A little more make-up to her face, a little more puff to her hair. Slight changes to her clothes, slight changes to her voice.

At the time, she was a marketer and sales manager for Jemco USA, and she began to see the uglier side of people around her. Her boss was supportive, but business relationships and long-time customers were suddenly non-existent. Eventually, extended family stopped talking to her.

Then in 2004, anterberry started the hormone and medical treatment, and she was at the end of her rope. She felt like she was going to die. She was broken up inside.

“For me it was ‘I’m going to kill myself,’” anterberry said, “or ’m going to start this transition, and one of those things are going to happen.’”

But it’s a continuous process, and with help from her therapist and her fortress of friends, she is in a much better place now. “ eople interact with on a daily basis have been interacting with me and ’m comfortable interacting with them,” anterberry said, “and that opens up for more stable and complete friendships and relationships.”

However, anterberry says it comes at a cost. She’s more introspective and exclusive now because she observes that today’s America isn’t so welcoming to the transgender community, as she expected it to be. But there was only one relationship she worried for the most: her parents. Even though she’d been living in the role for three years at that point, it still felt like she had this pent up secret like she was doing something wrong. anterberry knew what she

Story: CJ Crawford. Photo: courtesy Danielle Canterberry ’99

...even if the Class of 1999 graduated with someone named David.

had to tell her parents, and she knew that if she didn’t do it, she would forever feel like she was playing the hiding game all over again.

“That was probably the hardest conversation of my life,” anterberry said. “ was convinced that I was gonna get permanently disowned and never talk with them again, but it took a little coaxing from them and a lot of crying from me until we got to the conversation.”

The call ended, and anterberry didn’t talk to her parents for a

“

You have more loving friends, family, and allies than you know about, never stop looking for them.

They will be your shelter.

— Danielle Canterberry ’99, St. Mark’s alum

week. For a week, they thought about what they’ve learned about their daughter. For a week, anterberry prepared for the worst.

“But then they called me back saying they were going to support me and do whatever to help,” anterberry said. “[ felt] immediate relief. was so convinced that as soon as my parents found out what was really going on that I was never gonna talk to them again.”

But her parents have been nothing short of welcoming and understanding, trying to learn everything about their daughter and understanding all that she goes through. While people will still discriminate, anterberry thinks improvement is possible with understanding, and sees the knowledge of transgender people and transgender care percolating through society. She refers to it as a “transgender tipping point.”

“Society just went Oh this is a thing,’ and everyone was just everywhere in the news for a while,” anterberry said. “ t’s improving.

[But] there’s always going to be

people that fear what’s different from them, and they’re not going to try to understand it because they don’t have to.”

Canterberry stresses that people who are just becoming aware or marginally aware of transgenders underestimate the life-changing experience of transitioning. They understimate the gates people have to go through.

“More attention needs to be given to the fact that no its not where you decide to do a thing,” anterberry said, “and the next day you have all the medical treatment you want. t’s years of doctors and therapists. t will get better.”

••• The year 2018 comes around, and Canterberry has had an amazing vacation. She’s spent it in Seattle with friends, family and someone she plans on marrying.

She met Jessica Grey while working for Blizzard Entertainment, and they’ve been together for two years. anterberry knows she is the one.

She takes a leap of faith and asks the big question.

“She said yeah,’” anterberry said, “and that’s a wrap ou have more loving friends, family, and allies than you know about, never stop looking for them. They will be your shelter. Don’t be afraid to embrace your authentic self.”

From the 1999 Marksmen yearbook Here are Canterberry’s credits as listed on the senior yearbook page Varsity track and field 10,11,12 All-SPC discus 10 Varsity wrestling 10,11,12 SPC champion 10,11 Preseason 12 Writer’s Club founder 10,11,12 Varsity football 10,11 Concert Band 10,11,12 Studio Band 11,12 Orchestra 10,11,12

FACES 11

JAZMINE &EVAN Both Evan and Jazmine* are transgender. While Evan goes home to a supportive family that embraces him for who he is, Jazmine was thrown out of her house by the very people who loved her.

BRYAN, MELA AND EVAN The Singletons (above) sit down to share their experiences with transgender issues. *For legal reasons, we are unable to show Jazmine’s face.

12 FACES

I

t had taken years for Bryan and Mela Singleton to fully understand and accept their transgender son Evan. Their misunderstanding had made him push down his true self and live as something he was not.

Their little house in Murphy, Texas had been filled with a sort of sadness for years.

The rust-colored leaves beneath the barren branches of the trees on Oak Lawn marked change — both in the air and in the home of the Singletons.

Fall would soon become winter, and Bryan and Mela would do everything in their power to support their son during his transition.

This meant not only giving Evan the love the two had for him as his parents but also making sure he was surrounded by people who wouldn’t make things any harder than they already were.

With Christmas fast approaching and the Singleton family celebration on the horizon, Bryan and Mela sent out an ultimatum to their lovedones.

The two parents were determined to help their child through this period in his life, and their instructions were abundantly clear.

Use the right pronoun, or don’t show up.

If you’re going to call him Eevee, don’t show up.

Show us respect, or don’t show up.

Mela and Bryan were confident in their choices as parents, and they were confident in their love for their son Evan.

They weren’t confident, though, in whether or not all of their family would show up.

Mela didn’t have much family, and she didn’t have many friends. Everyone in her life was hand-picked for their love and support.

She prayed that same love would carry over to her transgender son.

If they did show up, then Mela hoped they would show him nothing but the love a family shares. If they didn’t, then that was the only message the Singletons needed.

Christmas time is a time to revel in happiness. Mela just wanted Evan to be happy in his own skin. Evan just wanted to be accepted for his true self.

Come Dec. 25, the table was set, the tree was decorated and the Singletons’ minds were made up. If someone didn’t show up today, that was it. That was the message they needed.

E

veryone came, everyone had fun and everyone wished Evan a merry Christmas.

At first glance, this was a normal Christmas. Nothing really unusual happened. Hugs, food and gifts were exchanged.

Grandma gave everyone candy even after Mela told her not to, and everyone had fun.

Not long into the celebration, snow began to fall. All the Singleton kids and their friends ran outside to play. Eventually, the adults ran outside to play with their kids, nieces and nephews.

Evan joined them too, and for a moment, he was normal.

Everyone got along and played together.

The bullies in the past and the future were silent. Evan was at peace.

It wasn’t until Mela was driving home that a thought hit her.

All four kids were in the back seat, cold and tired from an hourlong snowball fight with the entire family.

All of them.

Everyone came.

Thinking back to the way everyone treated Evan, one thing was clear: Mela chose well.

Evan knew he was a boy from the beginning, but as a two-yearold, it was hard to communicate to his mother and father despite being born a girl biologically, he was, in fact, a boy.

It was during bath-time that this topic would come up the most, but in the end, it was dismissed as Evan — then Eevee — just not understanding basic biology.

Evan would attempt to explain to his mother he was a boy, and Mela would, with a smile, give a short biology lesson to the toddler in the bathtub.

Each time the lecture on his body would force his true self further down, forcing Evan to fake a smile and play the part of a girl.

Eventually, Evan’s sadness and anger got the best of him. Being forced to hide drove him to be hostile, scream and break things.

These exchanges continued over and over for a while, and it wasn’t until Evan turned seven they realized what he had been trying to explain all this time.

It happened when Evan got a brand new black bike. It was great, but it had just one problem.

Bright pink stripes down each side screamed girl.

“Mom, Dad,” Evan started.

“Would you give this bike to Ike?” Both Mela and Bryan were taken aback. Would they give the girly bike to Evan’s younger brother?

“No — I guess we wouldn’t,” Mela answered.

“Then why did you give it to me?” Evan responded, tears welling up in his eyes.

With that, both parents finally understood what Evan meant when he said he was a boy. It meant he was boy.

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ompletely understanding Evan, however, did not happen all at once. Mela and Bryan had new realizations about their transgender son with each new day, and with new understanding came more support.

Because Evan’s birth certificate said he was a girl, did liking guys make him gay or straight? Did it really matter?

Mela and Bryan supported him anyways, and so did Evan’s extended family.

If Evan was a boy, then why did he like to wear nail polish or pink shirts sometimes? This confused Mela most of all, as she sometimes found herself feeling embarrassed that her son had his nails painted. Over time, though, she overcame these feelings.

Not everyone loved Evan like his family, though.

He would find himself eating alone at lunch or with people he didn’t know—no one would save him a seat.

“What’s it doing here?”

“Why is she sitting with us?”

“Freak.”

The students of Cooper Junior High had found a target, and they wouldn’t let up until the school got involved.

While the school could make kids not bully Evan, they couldn’t make them like him, talk to him or pick him as a partner in class.

Nobody wanted a trans, gay and “weird” friend. Outside of his home, Evan often found himself alone.

That was the breaking point for Bryan and Mela. After the success Evan’s younger sister Izzy found in an online school, they were determined to enroll Evan online as well.

N

ow, Evan is surrounded by loved ones and supportive people.

He has a loving family and the support of the group cofounded by his mother— Dallas Fort Worth Trans Kids and Families.

Evan is living his truth, but his story is not only one of many. It is extremely unique.

One girl’s experience shows the other side of life as a transgender person.

Jazmine “Jazz” Wilson’s life has changed more times than she can count, moving from both

family homes and shelters until she found haven.

After Jazmine’s mother’s drug problem grew in severity, Child Protective Services removed her from the home. She was transferred to her sister’s house.

The change in clothes began with a bracelet or necklace, something that would make her feel more comfortable, more authentic. Soon, she was wearing pink shirts, skirts and dresses.

Jazmine, named Jacobi at the time, was comfortable in her own 16-year-old transgender skin. Her sister, however, was not.

A subtle look or passing words was all Jazmine needed to get the message her sister was trying to send.

Despite being a lesbian, Jazmine’s sister did not accept

“

People are used to what they’re used to. When you challenge that, people will often take offense and take it as a criticism to them rather than just an opposing thought.

— Bryan Singleton, Evan’s father

Jazmine as her true self and did not approve of her clothes.

Jazmine didn’t care. And she didn’t care when her sister, in the North Garland High School parking lot, told her she was done with the girly clothes.

Jazmine was now faced with a choice: stay as a boy or leave as a girl. Her truth, however, was more important to her than the roof over her head.

She went inside the school to call her case worker, but when no one answered, she went back outside.

Jazmine’s sister was nowhere to be found.

Jazmine got a ride home from a friend, but she arrived at her sister’s house only to see new locks on both the front and back doors. Jazmine was officially without a home or a bed.

After staying at a friend’s home for a few days, Jazmine was forced to go to school. It was there her lack of a guardian was discovered by a social worker, and she was taken to an all-boys shelter—a dangerous place for a transgender girl. fter a few weeks, Jazmine was taken in by two transgender foster parents, Ginger and Connor McMurray. In her new environment, Jazmine was shy

A

and somewhat afraid, but after a couple weeks of love and acceptance, she came out of her shell.

But there was still one more big change to come about in her life.

Emerging from her bedroom, having finished her last online class for the day, Jazmine walked into the kitchen and began pouring herself a glass of water. knock on the door held the potential to change her life, though.

Ginger’s “Come in!” echoed through the hallways of the home, reaching Jazmine’s ears and making her wonder who was on the receiving end of the greeting.

Her foster mother stepped into the doorway of the kitchen and quickly asked Jazmine to go sit in her room.

The stranger in the house and the frantic order from her foster mother made Jazmine’s heart beat fast. Really fast.

She walked to her room, stopping short of the door and quietly shu ing over to the entry to the living room, just out of sight.

Jazmine’s foster parents were talking in hushed voices, but the stranger wasn’t so careful.

One word rang through the house, shocking Jazmine and changing her life forever.

Adoption.

Tears threatened to run down her face as she burst into the room, wrapping Ginger and Connor in a hug. She had parents.

She had a home.

But nothing was certain then, and even now, the future is unknown.

The process for the McMurrays to adopt Jazmine has not yet come to a close, and the threat of her birth parents trying to reclaim their status as Jazmine’s guardian looms.

If Ginger and Connor cannot adopt Jazmine, she will be forced out of the foster care system once she turns 21; but, Ginger has made it clear to her that she always has a home at the McMurray’s.

Jazmine and Evan are two of countless stories of transgender youth.

Both found haven with their parents—foster or birth— and now they have their entire lives ahead of them.

Drawing on the strength they have used to survive and the lessons they have learned, Jazmine and Evan are setting examples for their respective communities.

They are two transgender people.

And they’re proud of it.

A

Story: Duncan Kirstein FACES 13

A NEW SELF Riley Cole`17 went through life as something they were not, but now they can see their own place in life. They are gender-neutral.

Photo: Kobe Roseman 14 FACES

I’M RILEY I’M RILEY

For years, there were no words to describe it. And at an all-boys school, it wasn’t always easy to articulate. But inconspicuously placed in a senior yearbook blurb, Riley Cole ’17 found the words: ‘I am gender-neutral.’

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s an eight-yearold, something was different.

It happened during one of Carol Rice’s famous second grade creative writing

assignments.

While the rest of the class dreamt up worlds filled with Marvel superheroes, all-star athletes and Star Wars characters, one student wrote about Riley.

Riley wasn’t like the masculine heroes who lived in the pages of the other kids’ stories. Riley wasn’t a boy or a girl.

And while the student didn’t know it at the time, Riley held something about themselves, something about their identity and something about their name that describes who they are today.

Riley Cole ’17, previously Zachary, identifies as gender-neutral or gender non-binary—a gender identification that takes “they them themself” pronouns. “ identify as a gender-neutral person,” Riley said, “meaning fully claim my male sex, I don’t have any feelings that don’t fit in my own body. also don’t claim the definitions of man and woman.”

For Riley, the discrepancy between gender how Riley identifies and sex (the gender Riley was assigned to was the root cause of their gender-neutral identity.

“Because of my sexuality,” Riley said, “ ’m not straight, therefore my brain anatomy is more similar to a heterosexual woman’s. n my head, gender and sex may not match. ’m sexually a male because of my body and as for gender, which is more of a perception of yourself, I actually have brain anatomy that isn’t the same as a cisgender male—meaning agreeing with their sex.”

As a student at the school, Riley got the sense that the issue wasn’t

something to be heavily discussed at a single-gender school.

“At St. Mark’s, it was, just shouldn’t talk about it all the time,’ and Let people think what they think,’” Riley said. “There isn’t as much fear as a lot of people feel.

Because of the all boys environment, it is really hard for people to express how they feel, how they identify. t was easier for me to quietly be who I [wanted] to be.”

However, Riley remains grateful for the experience they had at St. Mark’s an experience with little physical bullying. “ know St. Mark’s is really great,” Riley said. “We don’t have a lot of physical bullying or anything like that. There were times when got the miniature version of physical bullying with older kids, when I was in Middle School, with high school kids and that was really weird. n High School, nobody cared again.”

But when Riley would leave school to go home, the conversations Riley would have with their family regarding gender identity weren’t always easy, and the experience of having those conversations was something the family found hard to accurately remember. “[My mother would tell me], That’s wrong, that’s not who you are,’ as anyone does when they’re raising a kid and it’s not what they expected,” Riley said. “ t did make me sad, but at the same time, it further rooted me in my conviction to be this person.”

By contrast, Riley’s mother, Barta Cole, remembers the conversations she had with Riley more positively. “ t’s never really been an issue for me at all in any way, shape or form,” Barta said. “ ’m his mom, and love him, and just want him to feel comfortable. t’s been very easy. t’s not something we really talk about, because Zach is who he is, and he’s an amazing young man, and so it really doesn’t matter to me.”

Ultimately, for Riley’s sister,

Melissa ole, the conversations the family had about gender identity were never shunned as a topic of conversation, which she ultimately believes helped Riley throughout their transition. “[Barta] never disowned [Riley],” Melissa said. “She never said, That’s it, we’re not talking about this,’ and a lot of times it was an open conversation. A lot of times it was mom, or even me, just trying to do the best we can to help [Riley] get to his identity, but keeping his mental health intact, because that’s the most important thing to us.”

And although Riley now identifies as “they them Riley,” Riley doesn’t expect the same identification from Barta and Melissa. “ art of the reason why don’t ask my family to address me differently [is] because it’s out of love,” Riley said. “ t’s not about the fact that they don’t care. know who am, and it’s not teaching people about gender neutrality,” Riley said.

Now, having graduated Riley reckons with their experience at the school, particularly with the school’s message about manhood and leadership.

A topic Riley brought up in their senior blurb.

“There is a point of an all-boys school,” Riley said, “and right now it needs to be teaching these males how to be good people, and St. Mark’s has the emphasis on strong male leadership.”

But ultimately, Riley recognizes the principles of leadership that the school attempts to instill as integral parts of the whole-person education.

“These values are so important,” Riley said. “The reason ’m at the top of my class [at US ] is because went to St. Mark’s, and learned the ethics and values to be in a top position. My strong person isn’t a masculine, path-to-manhood leader.

It’s something else, with the same values, the same universals.”

Story: Kamal Mamdani, Sahit Dendekuri, Mark Tao

FACES 15

T

RANS– CENDENCE

As vice president of Trans-Cendence International, Paula Ellis knows what it means to struggle with gender identity. From depression to divorce to transitioning, this is her story.

F

or the first 50 years of her life, aula Ellis was living a lie.

Everything was fake. Her 25 Facebook friends. Her 1 -year long marriage. Almost every single human interaction.

The entire world was telling her that she was a man.

Every day, they told her she was immoral, so she accepted that she was immoral. But after 50 years, Ellis could simply not take it anymore.

When the panic attacks and anxiety got to her, Ellis knew there was no feeling in the world that could be worse. n 2013, she attempted to take her own life.

••• Ellis always knew she was different. Growing up, she had issues. She spent her time trying to be what the world told her she was.

Ellis asked herself the same question every time she interacted with someone: “What would a dude do in this situation ” She knew it wasn’t right, but for her entire childhood, she didn’t know how to fix it.

The first time transitioning even crossed her mind was when she was 18, but there were two problems: it was 1981 and she was living in Texas. To Ellis, transitioning seemed like an excellent way to ge get herself get herself killed.

Because she didn’t identify as gay, Ellis had no connection to the gay community. The only transgender people she knew of were rich or famous. Any program she could find to help transgender people was being shut down.

There was no one who could help her.

“

Responding the way men did was not natural to me. I tried to be what the world said I was. It was terrible.

— Paula Ellis

Ellis did what she was supposed to do. She got married. She spent 1 years pretending to be a happy man, a devoted husband. But it was too much.

After she survived her attempted suicide, she knew she had to transition. But the moment she mustered up the courage to come out as transgender, her wife wanted nothing to do with her. She began losing friends and colleagues. eople were shutting her out of their lives.

Ellis was still miserable. “ realized that was either going to do this or die,” Ellis said. “ thought ’d probably die, to be honest, because ’d waited so long. realized would try this, and if it was better then wouldn’t kill myself.”

Over the last five years, Ellis’s life has turned around. ow presented as a female to the rest of the world, she feels okay with herself, with her body.

She’s real.

When she was little, Ellis was petrified of speaking in front of people. ow, she’s the ice resident of Trans- endence nternational, a BREAKING THE support organization for transgender MOLD Transgender people and their loved ones.

16 FACES

rights activist Paula Ellis spoke to the crowd and marched at the Dallas Women’s March Jan. 20 alongside 7,000 other women.

Story: Kamal Mamdani Photo: Riley Sanders

With a mission of keeping families together, what Ellis and the organization want most is for people to understand that transgender women are no different than any other.

“Transgender people are who we say we are,” Ellis said. “We go to great effort to be authentic and to be real.

The way the world perceives us when we’re younger, that’s the act.”

And now, a happier woman than she’s ever been before, aula Ellis interacts with people from all backgrounds, and has more than 1300 friends on Facebook.

“For the last five years, ’ve transitioned, and my life is a whole lot better now,” Ellis said. “ t’s not like everything’s perfect, but feel much better.

My interactions with people feel real.

They’re not fake, they’re not forced, ’m just me, and it’s wonderful.”

THE ORGANIZATION Paula Ellis is vice president and Dallas Chapter Director of Trans-Cendence International.

Mission: To support transgender people and their loved ones and keep families together. Give people a place to talk about their problems.

Who: The organization is open to those who identify as transgender, those who are thinking about questions of gender and those who support the transgender community.

Where: Trans-Cendence is currently located in Dallas, Fort Worth, Denton and Oklahoma City.

PRONOUN CONFUSED?

THE ‘AWKWARD’ QUESTIONS YOU’RE TOO UNCOMFORTABLE TO ASK, ANSWERED.

• What name do I call a transgender person by?

Many transgender people, after transitioning or “coming out,” change their name to match the gender they identify as. all a transgender person by whatever name they present to the world as their own, not as whatever the name is on their birth certificate.

A good rule of thumb is to just call a transgender person by the name they introduce themselves to you as.

• What pronouns should I use? f you aren’t sure about which pronouns to use for someone, it is always more appreciated if you ask than if you assume and use the wrong pronouns. f you accidentally use the wrong pronoun, however, just apologize and don’t make a big deal out of it. f you are uncomfortable asking about pronoun usage, listen in to people who are close to that person and try to discern which pronouns they use when talking about him or her.

• Does being transgender have any relationship to a person’s sexuality?

When the word ‘transgender’ comes up in conversation, especially at a single gender instituiton, it’s often immediately trailed with a string of tangential hypotheticals and curious questions, questions that not all members of the community would be comfortable asking.

We asked those questions so you won’t have to.

A person’s gender identity and sexual orientation are different. ost-transition, most transgender people remain attracted to the gender they were interested in before “coming out” as transgender.

• What does it mean to transition?

“Transitioning” is the blanket term for any step in the process of beginning to live as different gender. The transition process is different for each transgender person some change the name and gender on their driver licenses and birth certificates, some undergo hormone replacement therapy and some undergo surgeries to alter their bodies to match their gender identity. What is true about any person transitioning, however, is that their gender identity does not depend on the degree to which they have physically transitioned.

• Do most transgender people undergo a physical transition? lose to 30 percent of people who identify as transgender have undergone some sort of gender transition surgery, while most transgender people are unable to handle the $20,000 to $30,000 average financial burden of transitioning. Gender reassignment surgery, however, is on the rise, up 19 percent this past year.

Answers from National Center for Transgender Equality

SEXUALITY, GENDER AND SEX This diagram, provided by Director of Counseling Barbara Van Drie, shows the independent spectrums of sexuality, gender and sex. Any one person can be exist at a different location on each of the lines below.

Biological Sex male

intersex

female

Gender Identity genderqueer

Gender Expression stereotypically “masculine”

stereotypically “feminine”

Degree of Sexual Attraction very sexual

asexual

Sexual Behavior sexual with women

sexual with men

FACES 17

Fiction and myth busted Fact and truth uncovered Experts in psychology, pediatrics and neurology have strived to answer the questions that have gained the national spotlight along with the transgender population.

What causes a person to feel like they don’t identify with their current gender identity?

Is it right for parents to entertain a child’s desire to transition?

How early is too early

to transition?

How late is too late?

These questions and more will be explored in the next three pages to reveal and discuss the facts that lie beneath the fiction that shrouds the transgender community.

From those who work in schools, dealing with the nuances of adolescent behavior, to those who work in residencies, answering the questions that swarm people’s minds when beginning a transition, experts of

all backgrounds seek to eliminate the myths around transgenders.

With the air of secrecy gone, a clearer picture will emerge, and a greater understanding and communication will come to fruition.

THE SCIENCES

THE PROGRESS, THE QUESTIONS, THE ANSWERS

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?

18 SCIENCES

Illustration: Matthew Coleman

When is the right time to transition. And how does the brain know?

WHEN The best time to start having talks

HOW

The way the brain copes with gender

THE BRAIN, THE TALKS T

he best time to start conversations entailing topics of gender and self-identity is difficult for any family to know, according to Director of ounseling Barbara an Drie.

How a parent responds [to this issue] makes such a huge difference in their child’s adjustment,” an Drie said. “ absolutely understand that it would be difficult and that it takes time, in the same way it’s difficult for parents to accept any difference their child has from their expectations.”

However, regardless of a parent’s personal beliefs or expectations, the gender identity of a child seems defined at a very young age.

“I think when we talk to the children or the adolescents or the adults who feel this way,” an Drie said, “they’re clear. They have clarity. This isn’t a question. ’m not saying everyone is clear, but in the situations ’ve seen or in the cases ’ve read, there

was clarity in very young children who know.”

To help foster an environment encouraging gender clarity, having conversations with kids who are as young as five can encourage informativeness and education from as early an age as possible. “ art of it is just learning to have the talks,” an Drie said, “the conversations, and it’s not a talk. Early on children start realizing, didn’t just appear one day,’ so the conversation is age-appropriate. These are conversations to keep having from age five to one. But also part of that conversation is making sure that we stop talking about these things as binary, because few things are binary.”

Similarly, adolescent psychiatrist Dr. Reese Abright ’ 5 believes in the importance of discussion, but also emphasizes the role the school can have in facilitating a smooth transition.

“Say an individual student wants to talk about something like [gender identity],” Abright said, “then sometimes [counselling-based] services can provide public education within the school about specific issues like [gender identity], or depression or other things like that.”

Ultimately, realizing the complexity of the issue is an important step in realizing gender identity.

“I think the human brain likes to categorize things and Reese Abright make things simple,” an Drie said, “and human beings are not simple.

In psychology, if we know anything, it’s that human beings do not fall into nice categories, and they’re very complex and unique, so we sit with that discomfort.”

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have gender dysphoria.

“We know children with gender identification problems suffer from high rates of depression and even suicidal tendencies,” Everett said.

“Among the many factors leading to depression are potential rejection and stigmatization from family and peers as well as internal conflict that naturally occurs when the child identifies with the sex that doesn’t match his or her biological sex.”

Furthermore, an Drie believes the medical resources available to families in Dallas enables easier transition at any age.

“We are very fortunate in Dallas to have resources here in our city like in hildren’s Medical Center that has a unit which deals with transgender children,” an Drie said, “because the earlier that parents can be supportive, the better the outcome for the

child.”

Abright also remarked on the issue of gender identity becoming more normalized in the medical field. “ n order to try to reduce some of the stigma associated with [gender identity],” Abright said, “the term ‘gender dysphoria’ came about, which was supposed to be a more neutral way of expressing that the person has some discomfort regarding their perception of their gender identity and their biological gender assignment.”

And as the issue becomes more commonplace in the medical field, doctors are being educated on how to deal with gender identity.

“To me,” Abright said, “this indicates that the profession of psychiatry has become more involved with issues like this, and that we’re also trying to educate ourselves.”

s cases of gender dysphoria become more common in hospitals, the correlation between mental illness and gender dysphoria has drawn a lot of attention, as many suffering from gender dysphoria are also prone to disorders like depression and anxiety. “ ndividuals who are having this kind of dysphoria can be prone to other kinds of emotional and psychological issues like depression or anxiety,” Abright said, “and other Hal Everett emotional complications that can interfere with not only their enjoyment in life, but also with their academic life.” ediatrician Dr. Hal Everett also associated high rates of depression with those who

Breaking it down Here are recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics on how to approach transgender and LGBT youth: • Pediatricians’ offices should be teen-friendly and welcoming to all adolescents, regardless of sexual orientation and behavior; this includes training all office staff and ensuring that office forms do not presume heterosexuality of patients (or parents).

• If a pediatrician does not feel competent to provide specialized care for sexual minority teenagers and their families, he or she has the responsibility to evaluate families and then refer for medically appropriate care.

• All adolescents should have a confidential adolescent psychosocial history. Verbal histories and/or written questionnaires should use a gender-neutral approach.

• LGBTQ adolescents and MSM and WSW should have sexual behaviors and risks assessed and should be provided STI/HIV testing according to recommendations in the most recent sexually transmitted diseases treatment guidelines from the CDC. • Strengths, resources and risks should be assessed and targeted behavioral interventions should be implemented to allow the adolescent to maximize strengths and acknowledge and minimize risky behaviors.

• Pediatricians should be available to answer questions, to correct misinformation and to provide the context that being LGBTQ is normal, just different.

• Transgender adolescents need to be supported and affirmed; they need education and referral for the process of transition and about avoiding the pitfalls of using treatments that were not prescribed by a licensed physician.

• Pediatricians should support parents in working through adjustment issues related to having a child who is LGBTQ while continuing to demonstrate love and support for their children.

• Pediatricians should educate themselves about organizations that serve sexual minority youth and families in local communities and national organizations with information, support Web sites and hotlines

Story: Mark Tao, James Rogers

SCIENCES 19

ASK THE EXPERTS PSYCHOLOGIST DR. AMY SHEINBERG

Dr. Amy Sheinberg, PhD, is a female health care provider in Dallas, specializing in with clinical psychology.

Her practice is located at 8333 Douglas Avenue.

What does it mean to have gender identity issues?

Gender Dysphoria describes a conflict between a person’s physical gender and the gender with which he or she identifies.

At what age do these problems tend to arise?

Early-onset gender dysphoria typically starts in childhood and continues into adolescents and adulthood, while late-onset gender dysphoria occurs around puberty or much later in life.

Are there known causes for these identity issues, or is it something genetically based?

The cause of gender dysphoria is unknown, but hormonal

influences in the womb are suspected to be involved. The condition is rare and may occur in children, adolescents or adults. There is evidence showing that transgender people appear to be born with brains more similar to the gender with which they identify rather than their assigned genders.

Do some patients eventually become secure in their gender assignment, or do they usually all transition in some way? es, many adults with gender dysphoria find comfortable, effective ways of living that do not involve all the components of the three-phase treatment psychological, hormonal and surgical. While some individu-

als manage to do this on their own, psychotherapy can be very helpful in bringing about personal discovery and maturation that facilitate self-comfort.

Can gender identity problems lead to depression or other mental health disorders?

The short answer is yes.

Because mental illness as well as gender non-conformity are still stigmatized in our society, someone with Gender Dysphoria may not seek out or get proper help. They may suppress their feelings and turn to self-medicating which can lead to a deepening of depression, anxiety and set them up for increased self-harm and suicide attempts completions.

Interview: Andy Crowe

GENDER EXPERT DR. RENEE BAKER Why do certain people transition?

Theres a lot of different reasons, most people want to feel comfortable with their body. Most people will feel comfortable with a masculine body or a feminine body if it goes with their gender and their bodies align with their gender.

What challenges involving public identity do transgendered people face?

Usually most people that go through a gender transition will need to change either their gender marker or their name and not all judges are amenable to that. So for example, we’ve had clients who go to a Fort Worth judge and the judge did not want

to change the gender marker for an individual so that person might have to go to Dallas county.

What effect does the pressure of societal norms have on people’s ability to transition?

Most people are very biased in their view of gender. They tend to lump it into male or female. The reality for trans people and intersex people is that they feel pressured to be someone who they are not.

How does the lifestyle of a transgendered person differ from someone in the closet?

The person who is in the closet won’t be able to be as present because they’ve got too much inner conflict

going on inside them. t’s a hard question to answer, but basically, you have to ask yourself if you, as someone who is male, had to wear a dress all day, would that affect your day Would you go through your day as normal, or would that affect you Why don’t some transgendered people transition?

A lot of people lose their families, they lose their jobs, they lose their religions.

They’re shunned by society, they get teased, they get bullied, some get killed, some get hurt. There’s a lot of violent crime against transgendered people. There’s an inability to figure out how to make it in the world, basically.

Dr. Renee Baker has a doctor of philosophy degree from the University of Texas at Dallas and is a specialist in gender identity issues.

Interview: Eric Hirshbrich

20 SCIENCES Photos courtesy of Dr. Amy Sheinberg and Dr. Renee Baker

GUIDANCE COUNSELOR BARBARA VAN DRIE

and anxiety, and a high risk of suicide, but with support and understanding from the most important people in your life, your parents, the outcome can be different.

The most important places that support needs to come from include your parents. your school, your friends and your peers. That’s why this is an important mission of information and education.

that a student just start telling peers, think ’m transgender.’ eers would be least helpful in assisting someone to navigate this situation because they have no expertise and no training. eers could be supportive or not.

How can an instructor go about explaining the concepts of gender identity?

What’s critical and why it really matters that people understand [gender identity] is because of the danger that is there for these individuals in terms of their safety. From themselves due to self-harm, but also for the violence that is perpetrated against them because of people’s lack of knowledge and ignorance.

think people have to understand what we mean by the term gender, what do we mean by the term sex, what are the definitions of these words. like to teach these concepts together, so we can see the contrast.

Do people usually doubt their transition once they have gone through it?

For 18 years, Barbara Van Drie has served as director of counseling here.

She has a master’s degree from the University of North Texas in clinical psychology.

What are the most important terms to define when addressing the topic of gender identity? think we need to understand what it means when we talk about what someone’s sex is and what someone’s gender is, so we have something to compare and contrast. s [gender] a social construct or is it also biological And what does it mean when we say sex is biological Does that mean your chromosomes, your brain, or your physical genitalia And what if they are not aligned Are chromosomes directly correlated with genitalia?

When a baby is born, people [think] it’s a boy or a girl based on the baby’s genitalia.

Rarely is anyone doing chromosome testing on babies. But one of the things we know is that sometimes genitalia is not the correct marker.

Genitalia can indicate one thing and chromosomes may be something different. The brain may be different. Also, sometimes genitalia is ambiguous and decisions have to be made.

Could you explain some of the correlation between mental disorders and those who suffer from gender dysphoria?

There are significant rates of depression

think when we talk to the children or the adolescents or the adults who feel this way, they’re clear.

They have clarity. This isn’t a question. ’m not saying everyone is clear, but in the situations ’ve seen or in the cases ’ve read, there was clarity in very young children who know.

Why are gender identity and sexual orientation often associated with each other, and what are the difference between the two?

Gender identity is different than sexual orientation, but sometimes people get confused about that. A person’s sexual orientation is just separate from their gender identity.

When gender identity is in-play, people immediately ask, Who are you romantically attracted to ’ One does not beget the other, they are just two separate things.

How do you think the school would react, and what what happen if a student were to come out as transgender? wouldn’t want to see a long-term student be removed from St. Mark’s because of his gender-identification. And gender identification, the individual having a sense of their gender, is different from gender expression.

[St. Mark’s] is currently a place where you see all aspects of gender, stereotypical masculine’ or feminine’ traits, expressed. ou see guys [of varying masculinity] who are all over the place.

How would a student ideally go about making their gender transition as smooth and as peaceful as possible? n an ideal world, this is something they’ve been aware of since prior to first-grade so it’s a known situation. would never recommend

How could ignorance potentially harm a transgender student?

What’s the best way to begin to understand the concept of gender identity as somebody who may not be familiar with the issue? think that once you understand the idea that [gender identity can be a continuum], then it becomes less difficult. ou look at these other facets of our gender, like our gender roles.

These are a complete social construct, but no one would say you can only choose A or B’ for the female gender role or the male gender role.

How can people in general create a world that’s safer to individuals with uncommon gender identities? think sometimes when people have a strong reaction to something, it’s the fear of the unknown, the things they don’t understand.

And the more information they have, the more they understand, the less scary it is.

Could you give insight on the connection between an issue like gender dysphoria and its legislative impact?

A lot of people don’t know much other than what they might read in the newspaper, and they may not been informed. Law and medicine in psychology typically have not caught up with each other in a lot of ways.

The law doesn’t really often times reflect what we know in terms of research, in terms of science, and all those things, but that may be all people know at this point.

How could the politics of the issue potentially affect a transitioning student?

For some people, a lot of what they’re seeing is legislating around a bathroom than what people should be seeing which is educating about the science of this.

And again because it’s not a high prevalence situation a lot of people don’t know and not too many people have talked about it, and so think it is something our society needs a lot more education on.

Interview: Mark Tao Photo: CJ Crawford SCIENCES 21

On campus and around the country As a single-sex institution, it is unlikely that we will ever have a formulaic procedure to address the changing gender identity of a student or potential student.

Most likely, the school will address any potential situations on a case-by-case basis — without a written policy.

But schools around the country and around

the world — along with the organizations these institutions are a part of -- are quickly adapting to the ever-evolving social landscape, a social landscape in which the topic of gender identity is quickly becoming more and more relavant.

In the next five pages, expect to hear the voices of several members of the International Boys School Coalition and the National Association of Independent Schools,

along with the experiences of groups on campus like DADYO and the coalition of students who have been to the Student Diversity Leadership Conference on behalf of the school, in addition to hearing from administrators here at 10600 Preston Rd.

THE SCHOOLS

THE REACTIONS, THE POLICIES, THE RESPONSES

Walking forward As the public perception of transgender and gender nonbinary individuals shifts, single-sex schools like our own are forced to take a reflective look at their policies and philosophies.

22 SCHOOLS

Photo: Riley Sanders

Dean of Campus Scott Gonzalez and junior Richard Shen had the privilege of attending the 2017 Student Diversity Leadership Conference in Oneanta, NY.

Photos: CJ Crawford

A CHANCE TO REFLECT

SCOTT GONZALEZ

Dean of campus, Freshman Class sponsor

'MY HOPE WOULD BE THAT WE LOVE AND RESPECT OUR STUDENTS FOR WHO THEY ARE.' What have these conferences told you about gender issues?

What we need to do is to remember that young people have, at their disposal, ideas and concepts and ways of identifying themselves that have been around for a long long time. Now, as a society, we are coming around to being able to be comfortable enough with general neutral terms and accepting of them too.

It’s really about learning to understand an individual on his or her own terms. To start saying if you wish to be identified or are you going through the process. Your right as a human being overshadows my feelings about what I may think.

I think the things that we are going to have to wrestle with and have already started wrestling with is, when we accept a student here, we accept the student for who he is. People change over time, and

with the onset of puberty and the different psychological aspects of growth, I think that it’s our responsibility to continue to embrace that individual and to see what we can do best to support them.

How can we relate gender issues to a student?

It may be that, in the big picture of the individual who is going through gender reassignment or going through identifying themselves as a different gender from what is considered birth gender, no longer feels that they are comfortable in this environment. We then have the responsibility to help that individual find a place that s better suited for them; if that’s their choice.

My hope would be that we love and respect our students for who they are and to support them as long as we can, as long as they are okay with it as well. If all we are

is an educational institution, then we can do whatever we want.

But if we really are an educational community, then it lies upon us to make sure we are doing what we can to support that individual.

Is there anything we need to do different as a school, like even a specific policy in Lion Tracks?

My concern would be if you write a policy, put on the books and then we run into a situation that we weren’t prepared for.

Somebody would use that as leverage, not to support a child and his family, but to put up a shield and statue that’s used to get rid of somebody based on that.

I think you have to do it as such so that families will understand that we really are supporting them and that we re not doing this to be punitive.

'WOULD I BE COMFORTABLE GOING TO SCHOOL WITH A TRANSGENDER CLASSMATE? SURE.'

After attending the conference, what's your opinion on how schools like St. Mark's should approach the issue of admitting a transgender student? have to say, don t think that there s any way to enforce a no-transgender policy.

When applied here, filled out my birthday and put in a picture of me. No

birth documents or anything. It was all predicated off the fact that knew was applying to an all-boys school and that I identified as such.

I think that makes the admissions process gender-blind Or guess it s assumed that only boys would apply. Conversely, as with workplace discrimination, it would be easy for any institution to deny admission to a transgender student on the basis of any other measurement since the process is not transparent. do think, though, that it wouldn t be a bad thing to give Marksmen increased exposure to diversity as it relates to gender identity.

I personally have only met a single person to this day who does not use the pronouns associated with their sex. That s probably bad as there are more than one people in this world who identify as transgender.

But guess that s what you have to expect when apply to an all-boys school.

Story: Nick Malvezzi, Zoheb Khan

Member of the Junior Class

What did you learn at the conference and how did you feel after versus before? f you think about a place like St. Mark s, sure it s called all boys, but some kids are more masculine and some more feminine,

even though everyone has the same sex.

Anyone who knows me knows m not the spitting image of manhood. That s why I think its more fair to say that we are a single-sex school rather than single-gender. As for admissions, honestly don t think it s my place to say what should or shouldn t be done.

Would I be comfortable going to school with a transgender classmate? Sure.

Would everyone don t know.

There s also that religious aspect to it, but again, m not very well-versed in those laws.

RICHARD SHEN

Did you discuss anything related to gender identity at the SDLC Conference?

We did this activity where you would stand closer to either side of the room (or off the spectrum based on your gender identity. was actually surprised to find that almost nobody stood directly next to the wall: the majority of people were somewhere in the middle.

Private schools get a lot of criticism for reinforcing gender binaries, which might be true, but there s where the distinction between gender and sex comes in. t s not as if all of us are homogeneously straight, white or definitively masculine.

SCHOOLS 23

SINGLE SEX iNSTITUTIONS One of the premier single-gender school organizations in the world, the International Boys' Schools Coalition weighs in on the changing reality of gender Identity.

S

ingle-gender schools are tackling a multifaceted issue: how to create policies to address transgender students who are enrolled at or are applying to the school. These schools are looking to reconcile the values of gender non-conforming students with gender-specific mission.

The International Boys’ Schools Coalition (IBSC), a group of international schools that champions boys’ educations, has begun to spark discussion amongst single-gender schools on the topic of gender identity.

Striving to advance boys’ education across the world, the IBSC seeks to provide answers to pressing questions such admitting transgender students to single-gender schools.

As transgender students join school communities across the nation, IBSC Executive Director David Armstrong believes the IBSC plays several key roles in catalyzing dialogue about necessary changes to school services.

In recent IBSC discussions, leaders have focused on the practical steps and nuts-and-bolts decisions schools must make to approach the sensitive topic of admitting transgender students.

“The IBSC Board assigned a task force to generate discussion about transgender issues that consisted of 10 members that were headmasters and deans of students,” Armstrong said. “who play important leadership roles in some ten countries in different parts of the world that came from different types of schools — faith-based school secular schools, et. cetera.”

“

The single-sex schools, whether they are an allgirls or all-boys school, have to weigh a lot of factors and balance those two issues in a way they feel comfortable with.”

—David Armstrong IBSC Executive Director

Armstrong believes the IBSC plays several roles in helping single-gender schools address gender-identity issues.

The IBSC sparks discussion about these issues to engage different member schools.

“We see the BS ’s role as, first, a catalyst for discussion for our member schools and for anyone else who reads the website,” Armstrong said.

“Schools should engage in the various and multiple issues that need to be engaged while talking about sensitive topics like gender identity.”

Armstrong also believes, with its diverse group of member schools located all around the world, the IBSC a valuable means for all-boys schools to gain experience and a swath of perspectives.

“We want to serve as a resource,” Armstrong said, “so what we did for our member schools is we put together a series of various resources that talk about all aspects of it and groups that are advocacy groups and health groups that talk about different policies they might adopt.”

U

ltimately, Armstrong sees the IBSC as a way for schools to discuss sensitive issues like gender identity among other member schools.

“We want to serve as a hub that will connect our members in dialogue,” Armstrong said, “where different member schools can share their experiences with the issue and how they dealt with some of the situations when they didn’t have a policy in place.”

In many ways, the IBSC connects schools facing similar concerns and issues.

“It’s a way they can connect with different counterparts from different schools around the world,” Armstrong said, “that are going through that schools might be considering.”

Moreover, with several IBSC member schools having already tackled the issue of admitting or creating policies

for transgender students, Armstrong believes the range of experiences are an invaluable asset to schools trying to develop new policies.

“Many the men and women on the task force have counters and experiences to share,” Armstrong said.

“They’ve gone through the building up process and the reaction to a person with a transgender experience when they apply or are at a gender identity transition while at the school.

Schools can share their experience with who do we want to get involved in the conversation.”

However, Armstrong also maintains there are multiple layers of discussion in addition to being a single-gender school.

With single-sex schools attempting to maintain institutional and traditional missions, Armstrong sees complications in reconciling tradition with change, “It’s quite complicated, but this task force has been set-up and is willing to share those experiences with other members,” Armstrong said, “and means by which any other member can reach out to them and say we’re thinking about developing a policy and statement.”

The IBSC When?

Founded in 1995 Where?

Schools in 15 countries on five continents Who? Not-for-profit organization of member schools dedicated to connecting and developing boys’ education worldwide What?

Discovering and sharing knowledge among all-boys teaching professionals worldwide

Story: Zoheb Khan National Association of Independent Schools weighs in on transgender topics An NAIS webinar on May 10, 2017, addressed “Supporting Transgender and Non-Conforming Students.” Here are some highlights from the many recommendations that were discussed:

Education and Communication

Gender Audit

Signage posted throughout facilities: Post both literal and figurative signs signs to show support of inclusivity.

Signs will allow for questions from students because the topic is so new and perhaps uncomfortable.

Assess gender segregation: Find places where gender is used to segregate, sort, or distinguish people and figure out in what way those designations are arbitrary.

Gender Support Plan: Create a list of questions the school can ask a student who has some interest in communication with the community about some aspect of their gender or transition.

24 SCHOOLS

Conversation and Task Force: Forge a list of goals as a community and make proposals that are small steps to a much larger goal.

Make a timeline: Once the gender audit is executed, create a timeline for the issues found: what can be done within the school year, what can be done tomorrow, and what can be done on a long term plan?

Impact cultural shift: Execute goals stemming from Gender Audit and change the campus culture surrounding gender identities.

SHIFTING THE PARADIGM

He was the first transgender student at the storied Phillips Exeter Academy. Now on the school’s faculty, Alex Myers has become a nationally-known expert in gender identity.

REVOLUTIONARY Myers talks to an auditorium of students at the Taipei American School in Taipei, Taiwan. All students in grades nine to 12 read his book, which is about a 22-year-old woman fighting as a man in the American Revolution.

P

eople keep saying it.

“What do we do? What do we do?

What do we do?”

They come to him with an endless barrage of new questions, new issues, new controversies.

As a student at Phillips Exeter Academy in 1995, Alex Myers’s transition from female to male brought its own wave of challenges — and a bit of what-do-we-do chaos.

At first, “everything was a problem.”

“When first came out,” Myers said, “it was very much like, ‘You, individual transgender student, are a problem, and we need to figure out which team you’re gonna play on and which dorm you’re gonna live in.’”

Myers quickly became the community’s facilitator for gender identity discussions.

But with every what-do-we-do question, Myers ushered in, what he calls, “a shift.”

Changes in locker room privacy, changes in bathroom use, changes in dormitory housing — Myers ushered in a shift on campus thinking centered around realizing these types of decisions don’t just affect transgender students, but, rather, they affect every student at the school.

“

You need to go in there and say, ‘What’s going on in our school culture that some kids feel [they] don’t belong here, [they] don’t feel safe here?’ How can we address the issue?”

—Alex Myers “Now the shift has started to be,” Myers said, “every student on this campus has a gender identity and every student needs to have a good experience regardless of their gender identity.”

Today, Myers works with school administrators through the National Association of Story: Kobe Roseman, Zach Gilstrap

Independent Schools (NAIS), leads webinars, hosts TED talks and speaks with media outlets like The New York Times and PBS to educate the public on a topic some know very little about.

Now an English instructor at Exeter, Myers uses the lessons from his experience at his alma mater to inspire the work he now does regularly.

He constantly tries to get schools ahead of potential issues in the hopes that administrations do not put all the burden on transitioning students during the process of coming out.

“The school needs to be ready for them,” Myers said. “The school needs to say in advance to them coming out — or even in advance of a student applying to the school, — ‘we are ready for you, we know who you might be, what you might need, and we’ve got it in place.’ This way, the student can have as smooth sailing as possible and is not in the position of constantly explaining and having to ask for basic services.”

A

nd in many ways, Myers believes schools could be going about these issues all wrong.

For starters, he says there’s something wrong when schools approach this topic in a negative frame from the get-go — there’s something wrong about approaching the topic as “issues and problems.”

“One thing that single-sex schools can do is they can think about how and why they should include gender-nonconforming individuals,” Myers said. “That’s a very different frame of mind than saying ‘This is a problem and we need to address it.’”

Getting down to the “how” and “why” behind policy and infrastructure reform, Myers says, is the most essential step in supporting transgender students.

On top of this, Myers points to the St. Mark’s mission, highlighting the benefits that

stem from clarifying the wording.

What’s the vision that the school embraces?

And how do gender-nonconforming individuals fit into that Are we a school for people who are masculine, who are biologically born male or identify as boys?

“Those are three very different values,” Myers said. “And depending on how you answer that would be how you would then respond and say, ‘This is what we need to do to our school culture to make our school more inclusive and open.’”

F

or Myers, the what-do-we-do questions are more than familiar.

Even long after his transition as an Exeter student, he still travels from school to school embracing each one that comes his way.

When answering these questions, Myers believes clarity is essential.

He stresses all of these questions aren’t “a transgender issue,” but rather, an issue with school culture.

“The school needs to articulate and make known language that is specific,” Myers said.

“So that if for no other reason than marketing, people can then know whether or not this school is for them.”

AN EDUCATOR A trailblazer at his own school, Phillips Exeter Academy, Myers hopes to similarly affect the nation and community around him.

SCHOOLS 25

G

The tides of change Shirts and skirts. Dresses and pants. What’s a school to do when it is faced with one of the most challenging and divisive issues of our time?

ender identity issues spark headlines.

They spark conversations in national newsrooms, at family dinner tables and under social media posts. And they spark controversies in school boards, legislation chambers and workplaces.

With more and more students coming out as transgender, schools across the country are having to quickly adapt pushing to redefine policy and infrastructure to support transitioning students.

When it comes to St. Mark’s, Headmaster David Dini and Associate Headmaster John Ashton echo the state-of-mind of other school administrators nationwide: the issue is “complex.”

Dini recognizes that as a single-gender institution, the school has its own “nuances” to consider.

The fact of the matter, he says, is that the school isn’t a boys school by accident. It’s not just a tradition for tradition’s sake. Helping boys find their identities, he says, is deliberately built in the mission and purpose of the school.

But what if a blue oxford shirt is more comfortable with a plaid skirt? What if a white tuxedo would rather wear the white dress? What if a transgender student applied to St. Mark’s?

Dini and Ashton don’t think speculating on these hypotheticals is a productive exercise.

Although the administrator have not directly changed policy to support transgender students, they strongly believe in championing the well-being of all students and engage in many discussions.

“What schools are trying to understand and develop an appreciation for,” Dini said, “is to not necessarily think about this issue in a policy-driven, linear way. But rather, in a way that is grounded in the mission and purpose of the school while also navigating complex issues with a focus on the well-being of the student and making sure that those two elements fit together successfully.”

Whether it’s on-campus with the Board of Trustees or participating in presentations as part of the International Boys’ School Coalition and National Association of Independent Schools, the administration has made efforts to stay ahead of potential issues.

But at the same time, Dini and Ashton agree there is no “prescription.”

Other than simply adhering to the school’s mission of serving each student, there is no 26 SCHOOLS Story: Zach Gilstrap, Kobe Roseman

universal answer to prevent controversy, balance tradition with change and support transitioning students. “ t’s very case-specific,” Ashton said. “ t’s a very scenario-specific circumstance that the school will try to navigate with the student and the family to a good place — wherever that place is as far as an outcome.”

Citing the school’s intrinsic mission to educate and cultivate the whole boy, Ashton echoes that the community was made with boys in mind — and built to serve them in every way.

“Our traditions, practices and rituals are designed with boys in mind, for boys, about boys because all of those things are outcroppings of what our fundamental mission is,” Ashton said.

“We are here for one reason: to develop boys into good men. Everything else we do is in service to that mission.”

B

ut what about the lines between shirts and skirts, dresses and pants, tradition and change? The clarity around how gender-nonconforming individuals fit into our school’s mission The balance between collective mission and individual well-being? Despite the charge for clarity, the challenging questions, search for answers and nuanced issues at a single-gender school still remain.

“We don’t ever want to be caught flat-footed on issues,” Dini said. “Either issues that are currently before us or prospective issues that might come to us on the horizon. Because that’s part of our charge as a school — making sure that we are adhering to our mission and purpose, building on that and thinking about what our core principles are and living those out to the best of our ability.”

At the end of the day, Ashton highlights the school community’s passionate discussions around important issues. He believes this passion will guide the school toward caring for all its students — no matter what gender identity.

“For us on campus,” Ashton said, “it just feels in a very powerful way that we engage in very complex social issues and challenges and we try to understand them but all in a higher way. That’s pretty special and unique here. At the end of the day we are going to care for everyone in this community and wrestle the complex issues together with great trust and knowing full well that we can find our way forward in the best of ways.”

“

The questions around rituals and traditions in single-gender schools is coming up for discussion more and more if you look in the country, whether it’s at the university level and in some independent schools. Schools and institutions are just questioning some traditions that are tied to a specific or single gender identity.

— John Ashton, Associate Headmaster

THE FUTURE In the shadow of Centennial Hall, students head to classes at a school ready to address the ever-developing issues of the world.

Photo: Riley Sanders SCHOOLS 27

“

This is the year of transgender awareness in the national news, in the normal press, instead of being in the little magazine you see as you’re checking out of the grocery store.

And I think that’s a huge difference.

— Stephe Koontz, sworn in as a Doraville City Council member Jan. 5 as Georgia’s first elected transgender official.