Santa Monica Daily Press, April 1, 2016

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FRIDAY

04.01.16 Volume 15 Issue 117

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Expo light rail brings new affordable housing option

FAKE CALENDAR ............................PAGE 2 FAKE BRIEFS ....................................PAGE 3 FAKE LETTERS ................................PAGE 5 FAKE CRIMES ..................................PAGE 12 NOT A MYSTERY PHOTO ..............PAGE 13

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Minimum height standards proposed for Downtown

BY PEARL CEDAR Starving Writer

accessible to all those who live on the train.

“With the Expo Line Phase 2 to Santa Monica, we have a great example of how Metro is expanding and organizing our transportation network to better serve our region and help ease traffic,” said Metro CEO Washington Philson at a press conference on Feb. 25. “But what we are really proud of is how

The sky will soon be the limit in Downtown Santa Monica. Or at least closer to the sky, if a proposed revision to the Downtown Community Plan, formerly known as the Downtown Specific Plan, is approved.

The amendment, proposed by a collation of property owners, density maximization specialists and investors would create a third version of the zoning document that will mandate minimum height requirements for all development in the downtown area. The proposal would include a provision requiring all buildings in the downtown area be no shorter than 350 feet.

Over the past two years, the DLP process has included over a dozen workshops and public hearings, as well as stakeholder interviews and discussions with various boards to develop an action plan to achieve a community vision for the

SEE HOUSING PAGE 7

SEE TALL PAGE 6

D. Nutbefooled

MOVING ON UP: Expo will now include a housing component.

BY PEARL CEDAR Starving Writer

When the Expo light rail opens on May 20 it will bring more than just a convenient and fast form of transportation to town. What else is coming? More affordable housing.

The Expo light rail will include 15 “sleeper cars” that will each accommodate up to a family of 5.

The cars will include four benches each. One bathroom car will be

D. Nutbefooled

DEVELOPER’S DREAM: A new proposal would require tall buildings.

City hires E-petition to City to establish Parents skip work to secure kickstart coup 'Living Landmark' prime school pick-up spots procrastination designation prevention attempt specialist

BY LINCOLN BAY

BY EUCLID PICO

BY EUCLID PICO

Delusional Blogger

Delusional Blogger

Citizen outrage group Resid-ocrazy has announced plans to formally stage a coup of Santa Monica City Hall.

The organization has been attempting to influence the city for the past two years through its

A unique public/private partnership has allowed the City of Santa Monica to tag every property within city borders with a historic designation.

Santa Monica's Landmarks Commission has capitalized on an

SEE COUP PAGE 9

SEE HISTORY PAGE 10

PROMOTE YOUR BUSINESS HERE! Yes, in this very spot!

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Aspiring Script Writer

Joanie Myerstein had seen enough.

Every weekday, she would turn red with anger and frustration as she attempted to pick up her son from Santa Monica High School. There were cars backed up on Michigan Avenue for almost a mile as students darted in all directions on foot, bikes and skateboards. There were fellow

parents honking horns and disregarding rules of the road. There were several near-accidents.

The pick-up process was taking forever, Myerstein said, and she was repeatedly showing up late to her evening yoga class. She said her tardiness was having undue influence on her daily stress levels.

Then, during a weekend walk near the high school, it came to her:

Gary Limjap (310) 586-0339 In today’s real estate climate ...

Experience counts! garylimjap@gmail.com www.garylimjap.com

SEE TRAFFIC PAGE 3

BY LINCOLN BAY Aspiring Script Writer

Fans of Eat It Too were giddy when the popular pastry shop announced it would launch a second location in Santa Monica in August 2014.

SEE WAITING PAGE 8

BACK OR UNFILED

TAXES? ALL FORMS • ALL TYPES • ALL STATES SAMUEL B. MOSES, CPA

(310) 395-9922 100 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 1800 • Santa Monica 90401

Calendar 2

FRIDAY, APRIL 1, 2016

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Healthy Lunches for Seniors!

For information call:

WISE & Healthy Aging offers a weekday lunch program for Santa Monica residents age 60 and older.

Your trusted community source for a nutritious meal.

(310) 394-9871

Registration Required!

Locations: Ken Edwards Center & Reed Park in Santa Monica

What’s Up

Westside OUT AND ABOUT IN SANTA MONICA

Lecture: 'Going to Hell In a Hand Basket' Attend a lecture on everything that is wrong with Santa Monica, California and the nation. All complaints, real and imaginary, will be treated equally.

Meeting will conclude with a burning effigy of City leaders.

SMC Turn of the century themed FUN-raiser Party like it's 1900 at Santa Monica College's turn of the century themed FUN-raiser. Come dressed as your favorite historical figure and be prepared to discuss the pros and cons of women's suffrage. Admission is $1,500. Donations are not encouraged, they are mandatory.

'Preparing for Defeat: The Inevitable Election of Donald Trump' Attend a lecture/support group sponsored by the Santa Monica Democrats.

Topics include how to move to Canada, secession for liberals and what the hell is happening to our nation?

Tissues will be provided.

Toddler story time: 'War and Peace' Bring your little one to enjoy a chapter from Tolstoy's classic. Q & A to follow. Ages 3 and under. Please call to reserve tickets.

Sandcastles for adults Coloring books for adults have shown you're never too old to take activities from children so meet on the beach to learn how to make different shaped sandcastles. Seashells will be provided for personalized decorations.

Wheels for drivers Did you know there are other wheeled vehicles besides the car and that

those vehicles can take you places?

Most Santa Monicans don't, so come learn about ways to travel by bike, train and bus throughout the city and region.

The LUVE Boat If you think Santa Monica is a sinking ship, come party on a shipwrecked boat to raise awareness and gather signatures for the LUVE ballot initiative. Santa Monica Pier, 10 a.m. - 6 p.m.

Film Preview: 'Avant Garde Art Film' Come see a preview of Santa Monica College Film Student Horace Bernberger's film 'Avant Garde Art Film.' The movie explores such themes as what are the difference between love and despair, what constitutes beauty, and how boring can I make a film that people will sit through? Staring Horace Berberger's friends and his mom. Admission is free for the proletariat, but $666 for the bourgeoisie.

Missed meeting with City Hall Have you been unable to secure a meeting with City Staff because they don't have actual phone numbers?

This workshop will schedule initial meeting times for various department heads and include the follow-up times that will be necessary before you get to have a conversation because the first three attempts will be canceled.

Fuzzy math for renters Organized by the SMN apartment association. Learn how to redefine various mathematical terms to convince yourself that $3,000 for a studio apartment is an acceptable rent.

For help submitting an event, contact us at

310-458-7737 or submit to editor@smdp.com

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Inside Scoop FRIDAY, APRIL 1, 2016

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TRAFFIC FROM PAGE 1

If she didn’t go to work, she could keep her car parked near Samohi and be first in the line of traffic that builds up around pick-up time.

“It’s madness,” she said. “It shouldn’t take me 45 minutes to pick up my son. Clearly, the City and the school district don’t want to do anything about it, so I had to take matters into my own hands.”

And she did. Myerstein, a trends analyst for a Santa Monica-based entertainment media company, this week dropped off her son at the high school in the morning and then searched for a parking spot close to campus. She worked all day from her car, answering emails, responding to

phone messages and monitoring her company’s website activity.

“It’s not as comfortable as being at my office, but it beats dealing with the gridlock every single afternoon,” she said. “I can do most of my work remotely anyway, so it was kind of a no-brainer.”

Myerstein was a pioneer of what has become a popular strategy among Samohi parents. She said she’s seen several other parents driving their children to school in the morning, finding prime parking spots nearby and working from their cars during the school day.

“We’re all in sweatpants and drinking Starbucks, and we’re even saving money on gas,” said Karen Eldenhoover, a Samohi parent who has been doing her digital sales job from her Volvo XC90. “I’m not

even wearing makeup.”

District spokesman Gary Pindrop said the situation has led to increased interaction between members of the Samohi parent community. He added that school officials are monitoring the surrounding roads during the day to make sure that traffic is running smoothly.

“As long as they’re obeying the rules of the road, all they’re doing is strengthening the fiber of Samohi’s tight-knit community,” he said.

“We certainly encourage that.”

Meanwhile, the area around campus has seen an uptick in lunch business. Owners of local cafes and convenience stores said they were taken by surprise to see so many parents near Samohi during the day, but they certainly aren’t complaining.

3

D. Nutbefooled

MOBILE OFFICE: Parents are working from their cars to avoid traffic.

“These paninis aren’t going to eat themselves,” said Oscar Willoughby, a clerk at P&Q Deli. “It seemed like

students weren’t really buying them anymore, but their parents have picked up the slack. It’s great.”

COMMUNITY BRIEFS

California Incline adds hoverboard lanes Ladies and gentlemen, start your hoverboards.

When the California Incline opens this summer, it will have dedicated lanes for hoverboard riders.

The announcement from Caltrans comes a few months before construction is completed on the iconic bridge connecting Ocean Avenue to Pacific Coast Highway.

The hoverboard lanes, which will be clearly marked, will run alongside the car, bike and pedestrian paths on the seismically retrofitted incline.

“We want to be ahead of the curve on transportation in Southern California, and hoverboards are the way of the future,” project manager Marcy McFly said. “The fact that they don't actually hover is kind of weird, but people like to ride them anyway.”

Initially, officials didn't anticipate placing hoverboard lanes on the reconstructed incline. The special lanes were added when engineers realized that the vehicle lanes were wider than necessary. Each hoverboard lane allows for single-file traffic on the popular electronic contraptions.

The incline is the first public road in the world with designated hoverboard lanes, McFly said.

“Now all the cool kids can get to the beach with ease,” she said.

Critics lamented the addition of hoverboard lanes, saying they will cause numerous accidents and bolster youths' inflated sense of entitlement.

“This is a slippery slope - literally,” local curmudgeon Arnold McGillicuddy said.

Santa Monica City Attorney nominated to Supreme Court President Obama has nominated Santa Monica City Attorney Marcy Mootrie as a back up candidate to the country's highest court; given Mootrie's lack of judicial experience or constitutional jurisprudence, the surprising decision signal's a departure from the president's history of well vetted candidates.

If confirmed, the current city attorney would be the only member on the bench not to have attended an Ivy League law school, and the first Supreme Court justice

to graduate from UCLA Law. President Obama referred to Mootrie's history of public service as evidence she can withstand the nomination process. “If she can survive years of aggressive questioning by that city’s residents, Republicans will seem like a walk in the park. Although she lacks the traditional credentials for a Supreme Court Justice, her experience with Santa Monica Airport has provided ample time to develop a tolerance for grueling yet fruitless exercises.”

Mootrie would be filling the seat formerly held by Justice Antonin Scalia, which opened after his death on Feb. 13.

Since Justice Scalia's death, a debate has ensued about whether any nominee by the president would even be considered by the Republican controlled Senate.

When asked about the nomination of Mootrie, Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky, the majority leader said “Who is that? I'm not quite sure what you are talking about, although if it is about the empty seat on the Supreme Court, the answer already is 'no.'”

Although, little is known about Mootrie's jurisprudential beliefs or how she might potentially serve on the bench,

the legal community has made little inquiry into these topics.

Startup helps users slow down maturity Santa Monica has established a reputation as a womb for incubating technology companies but the latest idea birthed by Silicon Beach hopes to combine many of the most popular apps into a single service.

The new company said it can replace Uber/Lyft, Instacart/Google Express, Washio, Blue Plate and a host of other services with one simple concept: Parents on Demand. The POD service will locate one of your parents (or send a substitute of the actual parent has moved on with their life), bring them to your small apartment and have them care for you like they did when you were 12.

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OpinionCommentary 4

FRIDAY, APRIL 1, 2016

Laughing Matters Jack Neworth

Free Consultation Over $25 Million Recovered

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The Art of the Spiel FOR THOSE WHO FOLLOW THIS COLUMN

WHEN BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE BECAUSE OF THE CARELESSNESS OR NEGLIGENCE OF OTHERS.

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regularly, you might have noticed a slight change in my commentary during the past few weeks. Okay, maybe more than a slight.

I'm a little hesitant but rather than be coy, I'll just tell you. I've stopped bashing Donald Trump. Believe me, it hasn't been easy. But the question is, why?

You see, on Monday, for at least one month but maybe more, I'm moving to the Big Apple for a very unique job opportunity.

Are you sitting down? Here goes. I'm going to be working for the Trump campaign.

Before you think I've lost my mind consider two “details”: 1. I'll be living at the Trump Tower (employee's quarters, but still) and 2. my salary won't be “loser money” as Trump himself might say.

The job is initially only for one month.

And I'm not giving up my apartment or in any way consider this a permanent move. (I could just see my landlord swoop in to recapture a rent controlled apartment and bring it up to fair market, which would be about $5,000 per month, but that's a whole another column.) Here's how it all came about.

In 2009, Trump's daughter, Ivanka, married Jared Kushner, who's Jewish. She converted to Judaism and, with her husband, raises their two children and now the new baby boy in the Jewish faith. I met Ivanka in the interview process here in Los Angeles and the amazing thing is she's very easy going. I'm told that all of all of The Donald's kids are very well-balanced though his youngest is named “Barron,” so I worry there. (By the way, in 2010, Chelsea Clinton also married a Jewish man and is expecting her second child in June.).

The Trump job offer came because, at Ivanka's temple in Manhattan, her assistant rabbi is close friends with my temple's assistant rabbi. In fact, they were in the same graduating class at Hebrew Union College in Cincinnati. Evidently, the two had exchanged a few of my columns over the past months in which I satirized The Donald on numerous occasions and, believe it or not, Ivanka found them “amusing.” (I'm just glad The Donald didn't see them and send his security goons to treat me like protesters.) Anyway, one thing led to another and the result was the most unique job offer in my life.

It appears that I might be part of a “liberal leaning” team to go over speeches as Trump pivots toward the center once he has clinched the nomination. (Six months ago I

never thought I'd write that last sentence.)

This, even though Trump pretty much disdains liberals (during the primaries at least) and also disdains formal speeches as he much prefers to ad lib.

After Trump is nominated I gather he's going to temper his remarks to make him appear more presidential and a more appealing general election candidate. I've also been told by insiders that “90% of what Trump says he knows won't happen, it's just to rile up his base.”

For example, Trump knows that kicking out 12,000, undocumented workers will never happen and that Mexico will never pay for the building of a wall. Apparently, they both sound terrific to Trump Nation. More problematic for the campaign, however, are Trump's Twitter wars.

Trump impulsively tweets at all hours of the night. Most recently, on Monday, March 21, a super PAC that opposes Donald Trump posted a meme-style ad featuring a seminude Melania Trump sprawled out on a fur rug accompanied by text, “Meet Melania Trump, Your next first lady. Or you could support Ted Cruz on Tuesday.”

Assuming Cruz was behind the ad (he wasn't) Trump immediately jumped on Twitter and threatened to “spill the beans about Heidi,” referring to Cruz's wife. Seven seconds later, Trump deleted the Tweet but it was already making the Internet rounds. The next day Trump re-tweeted a highly unflattering photo of Heidi next to a glamorous shot of Melania and text, “An image is worth a thousand words. Don't need to spill the beans.” Cruz responded angrily, calling Trump “a sniveling coward.” (I'm starting to think this GOP race doesn't exactly match the tenor of the Lincoln/Douglas debates.)

To prevent political damage from Trump's “itchy Twitter finger,” the campaign decided someone, or a rotating group, needs to be available around the clock to be a buffer between Trump and the “send button.” (I'm not sure how I will describe that particular duty on my resume when the job is over.)

In any event, I won't be writing any columns for at least a month. That is unless I get a “You're fired!” from The Donald. Who knows, maybe I'll wind up saying it to him.

Either way, Big Apple here I come. To quote Trump, “This will be “yuge!”

JACK is at jnsmd@aol.com and, starting Monday, can also be reached at jack@makeamericagreatagain.com.

Sarah A. Spitz, Cynthia Citron, Margarita Roze

PRODUCTION MANAGER Darren Ouellette production@smdp.com

AWARD WINNER

WINNER

OPINIONS EXPRESSED are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of the Santa Monica Daily Press staff. Guest editorials from residents are encouraged, as are letters to the editor. Letters will be published on a space-available basis. It is our intention to publish all letters we receive, except those that are libelous or are unsigned. Preference will be given to those that are e-mailed to editor@smdp.com. All letters must include the author’s name and telephone number for purposes of verification. All letters and guest editorials are subject to editing for space and content.

OpinionCommentary FRIDAY, APRIL 1, 2016

Visit us online at www.smdp.com

5

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Send comments to editor@smdp.com

FINDING A NEW DENTIST IS TOUGH!!!

(BUT WE MAKE IT EASY!!!)

Euclid should be 13th Street

YOUR CHOICE

To the editor:

Last week I was walking along Wilshire Boulevard on my way to get some coffee at La Monarca when it hit me: Euclid Street is a ridiculous name!

We all know that it's really 13th Street, and why should we bow to the superstitious few who wouldn't want to live, work or walk on 13th? Didn't those people have 13th birthdays?

Haven't they ever stayed on the 14th floor of a hotel? Those hotels aren't fooling anyone.

Euclid is positioned in between 12th and 14th streets, so it's obvious to anyone who is familiar with the area that Euclid is just a euphemism.

Needless to say, calling it Euclid Street is discriminatory to the number 13. If Santa Monica is really the anti-discrimination bastion that it claims to be, the City should immediately change the name of Euclid Street to 13th Street and make new street signs.

And you know who should pay for this project? That's right, the superstitious few.

Tomas Ersamala Santa Monica

No more grocery stores Editor:

I was shocked to hear about the opening of another grocery store here in Santa Monica.

This is the last straw for me. I hate grocery stores, the whole lot of them. I wish we could run them all out of town. In fact I hate those Farmers Markets too. They are all too commercial these days. Just another waste of valuable space in our small town. I grow all my own food and it is all organic. I'm currently running a campaign to get rid of all grocery stores and farmers markets. It is time we got back to doing things for ourselves.

Valerie van Uppity Santa Monica

What's the deal with bike-share?

Editor:

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The way I see it the bike-share program is a waste of time. No one in Santa Monica likes bikes. I have never once seen anyone use a bike, and I have lived here almost a year. Why waste money on a bike-share program when people love to drive everywhere. Seriously, I only see people driving. This morning, on my drive from my apartment on Santa Monica Blvd. and 4th to the beach, I didn't even see any pedestrians. I think it's time the City of Santa Monica gave up on public transportation and accepted the fact that all Santa Monicans want to do is drive. We don't mind paying for gas and we hate exercise. So sue us.

We are just keeping up with the Angelenos, ya know? If they can drive everywhere then so can we.

So bike-share has got to go. And I know I'm not the only one who thinks so. I have been talking to other drivers while sitting in traffic and they agree they'd rather sit in traffic than ever hop on a bike. What is the world coming to when Hulu is promoting bikes anyway? Aren't they the ones who want us to sit at home and watch TV? How can I watch TV when I'm on a bike? If you want me to watch TV let me get in my car and go home where I can kick back with last night's “Dancing with the Stars” on Hulu.

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BIRD DROPPINGS

D. Nutbefooled

In an attempt to keep the city clean, Santa Monica has installed new bird toilets. City Staff are currently training flocks of local seagulls to use the new system.

TALL FROM PAGE 1

future of the downtown.

Spokeswoman for the revised concept, Ann Rand, said her clients were forced to make a public proposal because the persistent and plentiful public outreach around the plan has made it impossible to secure a back room meeting or secret deal.

“If the city is going to go out and spend months communicating with citizens about their wants, then my clients had no choice but to hide their identities behind our firm and pay us to advocate on their behalf,” she said.

Rand said the new proposal suggests the plan be renamed the Downtown Love Plan, because there's nothing Santa Monican's love more than arguing over development standards “We're not asking the City to stop holding public meetings,” she said. “We just want the final plan to be independent of any feedback provided during those meetings.”

Some of the council's more pro-development faction expressed willingness to debate the proposal.

“We realize this may not make everyone happy,” said Connor O'Pamson, “but it will make the important people happy, and that is what matters in the end.”

He said that the minimum height requirements would ensure the underutilized, under visited, and oft-forgotten area can generate the foot traffic it desperately needs to stay viable.

“We don't want to sit on the sidelines while Santa Monica remains a sleepy little beach town and Los Angeles is putting up skyscrapers. We need to refocus, we need a new plan,” he said. “And this plan is all about our love of the downtown area. It's all about making things bigger and better. It's about letting us stand tall.”

The Daily Press was unable to find any actual Santa Monicans in Downtown when seeking comment. However, Santa Monica residents living in neighborhoods other than downtown have strongly opposed any attempt to modernize the area.

Residents of non-downtown neighborhoods were outraged that someone that doesn't live in the area would interfere while they were attempting to mandate rules in an area they themselves do not live.

Susie Dontcare, the president of an outof-state developer, was thrilled to hear that their “suggestion” about a minimum height could be added to the final DLP. “Santa Monicans want to restrict where we can build and how high we can build and it's so frustrating to be told what we can do in their city. I mean, we can't very well build in the water, until we've finished restaffing the Coastal Commission,” she said. “And we also don't really know how to make buildings as small as Santa Monicans want them, so this change is huge for us. So after this minimum height requirement was added, now we can finally build the way every other city let's us: tall.”

Local FROM PAGE 1

Metro and the City of Santa Monica have banded together to find a way to cram more residents into an increasingly dense region.”

Santa Monicans have long feared Expo would provide an opportunity for people that don't live here to access the city. The hope is the new train residents will be considered citizens of the region and could potential act as translators for the geographically restrained by explaining the world beyond city limits.

The City of Santa Monica, through its Housing Division, works with private nonprofit developers to develop affordable rental housing for low and moderate income households, including seniors, persons with disabilities, and families. The affordable housing in Santa Monica, developed in partnership with these nonprofits, is privately owned and managed by these organizations.

Now it's also in bed with Metro.

“By utilizing land owned by other agencies and limiting the amount of time anyone lives in the City (based on the train's constant movement), I think we've found a way to make Santa Monica affordable again,” Mayor Tonnie Vasquez said. “And I couldn't be prouder of the solution that Metro and the City of Santa Monica's Housing Division have divided together. This is what happens when great minds think alike.”

Officials said the train solution helps the city avoid criticism that it is biased against

7

transit-based living given the city's existing prohibition on living in a car or truck.

“Banning people from sleeping in all forms of transportation seems unreasonable,” said Councilwoman Glint David. “So we're allowing those that can't afford to sleep in their private jets access to enjoy a mobile lifestyle.”

Sandy Reels, a mother of seven who has been hunting for affordable housing in Santa Monica for months said she is ecstatic over the news.

“I'm going to be the first one to try and get a spot on that light rail. May 20 can't come soon enough for me,” Reels said, adding that her children are looking forward to making frequent trips to downtown Los Angeles.

Registration to be considered for the Expo light rail sleeper car affordable housing program begins on April 1. Staff at the Housing Division said it will take several weeks to sort through all applications to decide who is most deserving of a spot on the Expo.

Metro has declined to comment on how the sleeper cars occupancy will affect the day-to-day operation of the train and if they foresee any complications between sleeper car renters and light rail riders. Metro did note that the sleeper cars will be clearly marked and the renters of those cars will be provided with keys so they are the only ones who can access their car. The overnight passengers will count towards ridership numbers utilizing would otherwise be empty trains.

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WAITING FROM PAGE 1

More than a year and a half later, the South Bay-based bakery still hasn’t opened its doors.

“It’s like waiting for Godot,” said Rachel Buntam, the head chef at Eat It Too.“We have all these amazing ideas for cakes, cookies and lots of other sweet treats at our Santa Monica store, but it seems like they’re never going to see daylight. I’m starting to lose hope.”

Buntam was one of scores of business owners and community members applauding the City of Santa Monica’s decision to create a procrastination prevention specialist. The position was approved at last week’s City Council meeting, and officials recently began recruiting qualified candidates.

The new procrastination prevention specialist will work in the city’s Economic Development department and help to streamline the permit application process for area businesses. The specialist will make $137,000 annually, not including benefits, and likely will work overtime every week until the city’s backlog is addressed.

“We are pleased to bring on someone who will work specifically to address the needs of our thriving business community,” City Manager Rock Coal said. “We all know that the city website sucks, but that’s not the only problem. The website is the least of our concerns if we can’t get businesses to locate here.”

The City of Santa Monica received 186 business permit applications last year, according to a recently released report on the local economic climate. Of those, just 11 are currently in business. Most of the remaining 175 applicants from 2015 are still addressing the numerous city and public safety guidelines. A few managed to open

D. Nutbefooled

OPENING EVENTUALLY: Businesses often find themselves subject to long delays and even longer wait times to get explanations about the delays.

their doors but decided that Santa Monica wasn’t the right place for their operations.

Some gave up on the process altogether.

City Council members were at odds over the creation of the new position.

Kerry McClown said it’s about time the City address such a foundational aspect of its vitality.

“If we don’t deal with this now, we’re going to have even bigger problems down the road,” he said. “The only thing worse than our current backlog would be to procrastinate on hir-

ing a procrastination-prevention specialist.”

Polly O’Coolidge disagreed with McClown, arguing that the City doesn’t need another staffer in an office that has become more efficient in recent years.

“The backlog looks bad, but a lot of times it’s the businesses not filling out their paperwork correctly or not meeting deadlines,” she said. “At the end of the day, if there’s something that goes against fire code or if the building needs attention, that’s not something the procrastination-

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Buntam said she’s now hoping to open Eat It Too by August 2017. Future expansion plans are on hold until the situation in Santa Monica pans out.

“Our fans from Santa Monica are welcome to come to the South Bay,” she said, “but we know that’s not going to happen with traffic the way it is. That’s why we wanted to open a shop here in the first place.”

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COUP FROM PAGE 1

“government by referendum” platform and organizers said they thought it was time to cut out the middle man seize power directly.

“We were in the midst of an e-petition to remove Girl Scout cookie booths from major intersections due to their traffic generating deliciousness when we realized it would be easier to just take-over wholesale,” said Iman Malcontentus, the organization's Glorious Leader.

He said years of free, fair and valid elections have installed leaders that can't be trusted to do anything other than cater to the majority that repeatedly reelects them. In order bypass the problematic electorate, the group has decided to install it's own organizational system that assigns a subjective value to residents based on their demographics.

Per the group's online system, the first step in the process will be to start an e-petition asking if its membership supports a coup. The next step will be to gather signatures on a formal petition and if successful, the petition will be speared on pitchforks and delivered to City Hall by the light of flaming torches.

Malcontentus said they have successfully gathered 200,000 voter signatures in support of the motion.

When told there weren't that many registered voters in the city, he said the facts didn't actually matter as long as people were angry about something, their anger should always be treated as justified.

“When the government wants to oppose us, they always cite these 'facts' and 'figures'

FRIDAY, APRIL 1, 2016

9

as if the truth were something that could change our minds. That's not what this is about, it's about catering to the fears of individuals who have been outvoted at the ballot box for years.”

Former/Current/forever City Council Candidate Bill Mock said he would champion the cause just as he champions any protest with the potential to secure a constituency in a future election.

“Now that residents are expressing anger about [insert issue], I too am an lifelong believer in [insert issue] and will fight to make [insert issue] a reality,” he said.

Malcontentus said the reformatted government would rely heavily on online tools to manage the city. Public to debate will be replaced with Facebook groups.

Public elections will be replaced with a system of tiered super voters. Votes will be weighed by the number of years someone has lived in the City. Anyone with less than 10 years of residency will be considered a probationary citizen and eligible to vote only if they express complete and total support for all Resid-oCrazy proposals during their decade trial residency.

Transportation policy will include the mandatory use of bikes, scooters, walking or electric vehicles - for transportation between the curb and a home's front door. City streets will be reserved exclusively for nonhybrid vehicles and street design will be developed in conjunction with Ford, GM and Chrysler.

Malcontentus said immediate agenda items following the coup would be construction of checkpoints at city limits to limit the inflow of non-residents and the seizure of several hotels to be converted into vertical parks.

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HISTORY FROM PAGE 1

expansion of the Citizen's United ruling to consolidate landmarks within the City. If large corporations can be legally defined as a single individual, then an entire City can be legally defined as a single residence. With the legal gymnastics accomplished, the Commission was able to officially designate The City of Santa Monica itself as a Landmark.

With the city landmarked, the Santa Monica History Museum quickly created a new “living history” exhibit that codified the entire city as part of its permanent collection.

“This finally gives residents what they've

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long wanted, the City will now officially be a museum to it's past, preserved and protected from the passage of time,” said Commissioner Maggie Brahms.

As a landmark, no changes are allowed to any part of the infrastructure without hearings before landmarks commission, architectural review board, city council and a newly created historical authenticity authority.

The Authority will determine historical accuracy in the truest of Santa Monica ways, by relying on the memory and imagination of individuals currently living in the city. The Authority will be empowered to enforce compliance through gangs of roving amateur historians. Should a potential violation be found, punishment will be administered based on the judicial code in place when the structure in ques-

tion was first built.

“Every generation gets to the point in their lives when they realize they are no longer the future and their best days are behind them, but we have the legislative authority to fix the city in our image, so future generations can't deviate from our preferences” said Commissioner Bart Tutor.

The next phase of the exhibit is to mandate longtime residents stay in their existing homes and careers in perpetuity. Any Santa Monican that has lived in the same address for more than five years or any worker that has held the same position for more than five years will be designated a “living landmark” and treated the with the same rules as infrastructure.

Living Landmarks will have six months to

finalize their physical appearance including hairstyle, mustache choice and clothing preferences. At that point they will be allowed to maintain themselves provided they do not change their haircut or personal dress code without Authority approval.

Officials said it's really a small philosophical leap from mandating what can be done with private property, such as rent control and historic designation, to outright controlling the private individuals that own or live on that property.

“Santa Monica has had an adversarial approach to private property rights for decades and now we've finally removed personal agency from decisions about property, it's time to exert control over personal decisions to prevent anyone from evolving beyond our preferences,” said Tutor.

NOTICE OF PUBLIC HEARING BEFORE THE CITY OF SANTA MONICA LANDMARKS COMMISSION SUBJECT: Public hearings will be held by the Landmarks Commission on the following: 423-429 Ocean Avenue, 15ENT-0347, Zoning: R4 – High Density Residential. The City Landmarks Commission will be conducting a public hearing to consider Certificate of Appropriateness Application 15ENT-0347, at 423-429 Ocean Avenue, for design approval of a four story, 45-foot high, 13-unit condominium project. A 28-space, subterranean parking garage will also be constructed as part of the project. The project site was designated a City Landmark in 2006. The project would require the partial demolition of portions of the existing Landmark, two-story American Colonial Revival courtyard apartment buildings, arranged in a U-shaped configuration around a central garden courtyard, which are considered to be contributing elements to the property’s landmark designation. The new construction would be an addition to the Landmark buildings. Certification of the Final Environmental Impact Report (EIR) and adoption of the Mitigation Monitoring Program and Statement of Overriding Considerations will be necessary to approve the project. In accordance with CEQA Guidelines, the Draft EIR was circulated for public comment for a 30 day period beginning on October 16, 2014 and concluded on November 17, 2014. The final EIR is being completed to reflect project revisions that were made after the Draft EIR. Applicant: LCRA Architects. Owner: SM Ocean Star LLC. 2125 Arizona Avenue, 16ENT-0026, Zoning: R2 – Low Density Residential. The City Landmarks Commission will be conducting a public hearing to consider a Certificate of Appropriateness for approval of new business identification signs and related sign adjustment, new building paint colors, parking lot and other site/building improvements, landscaping, and the installation of new rooftop solar and mechanical equipment and safety guardrails on the Santa Monica Doctors Building, a designated City Landmark located at 2125 Arizona Avenue. Applicant: Pacific Neuroscience Institute LLC. Owner: Saint John’s Health Center Foundation, Inc. When:

Monday, April 11, 2016 at 7:00 pm

Where:

City Council Chambers, City Hall, Room 213 1685 Main Street, Santa Monica

NOTICE OF PUBLIC HEARING SANTA MONICA ARCHITECTURAL REVIEW BOARD REGULAR MEETING DATE/TIME: LOCATION:

April 4, 2016, 7:00 p.m.

Council Chambers, (wheelchair accessible) Santa Monica City Hall, 1685 Main Street

PROPERTIES:

Questions/Comments The City of Santa Monica encourages public comment on this and other projects. You or your representative, or any other persons may comment on the application at the Public Hearing, or by writing a letter addressed to Scott Albright, AICP, Senior Planner, City Planning Division, 1685 Main Street, Room 212, Santa Monica, California, 90401-3295.

Or, you may contact Mr. Albright by phone at (310) 458-8341 or by email at scott.albright@smgov.net.

• • • • • •

15ARB-0425: 16ARB-0042: 16ARB-0063: 16ARB-0068: 16ARB-0090: 16ARB-0149:

CONCEPT REVIEWS: •12DEV-005:

More Information The meeting facility is wheelchair accessible. If you have any disability-related accommodation requests, please contact (310) 458-8341 or TTY (310) 458-8696 at least three days prior to the event. All written materials are available in alternate format upon request.

Santa Monica Bus Lines 1, 2, 3 and 7 serve City Hall. Pursuant to California Government Code Section 65009(b), if this matter is subsequently challenged in Court, the Challenge may be limited only to those issues raised at the Public Hearing described in this notice, or in written correspondence delivered to the City of Santa Monica at, or prior to, the Public Hearing.

Espanol Este es un aviso de una audiencia publica para considerar la designación de una propiedad en la ciudad como un monumento histórico. Para mas información, favor de llamar a Carmen Gutierrez en la División de Planificación al número (310) 458-8341.

1733 Ocean Avenue: Restaurant 1636 Bryn Mawr Avenue: Single Family Residence 945 Berkeley Street: Single Family Residence 2520 Santa Monica Boulevard: Commercial Retail 1927 19th Street: Multi-Family Residential 949 Centinela Avenue: Single Family Residence

1325 6th Street, Preliminary design review for a Development Agreement proposal involving a 6-story, 65 residential unit, mixed-use building.

•15ENT-0266: 1430 Lincoln Boulevard, Preliminary design review for a Development Agreement proposal involving a 5-story, 100 residential unit, mixed-use building.

More information is available on-line at http://santamonica.org/planning/planningcomm/arbagendas.htm or at 310/458-8341 (en espanol tambien). Plans may be reviewed at City Hall during business hours. Comments are invited at the hearing or in writing (FAX 310-458-3380, e-mail grace.page@smgov.net, or mail Santa Monica Planning Division, 1685 Main St., Rm. 212, Santa Monica, CA 90401).

The meeting facility is wheelchair accessible. For disability-related accommodations, please contact 310-458-8701 or TTY 310-450-8696 a minimum of 72 hours in advance.

All written materials are available in alternate format upon request. Big Blue Bus lines, 2, 3, Rapid #3, 7, & 9 serve the Santa Monica Civic Center and City Hall.

YOUR OPINION MATTERS! SEND YOUR LETTERS TO • Santa Monica Daily Press • Attn. Editor: • 1640 5th Street, Suite 218 • Santa Monica, CA 90401 • editor@smdp.com

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FRIDAY, APRIL 1, 2016

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S U R F

R E P O R T

DAILY POLICE LOG

The Santa Monica Police Department responds to hundreds of calls a day. The following are not crimes but should be.

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• Parking in two spaces at the Vons lot.

• Dressing a dog in human clothes.

• Using a leash on any animal other than a dog • Stopping for a selfie with your group of 15 on the Pier bridge.

• Treating the guys that spend 5 minutes dancing and 20 minutes hyping/asking for money as performers.

• Exiting/Entering the Civic lot as if it was one way in the direction you're traveling.

• Driving on the 1600 block of 5th Street because you think it's the freeway entrance.

• Intentionally feeding seagulls.

• Pretending not to see the 15 people stretching down the aisle at Bay Cities when you try to get in line at the cashier.

• Claimed gluten/dairy/sugar free version of dessert is "as good as the real thing."

• Having Uber Eats idle on your street and back up traffic for blocks.

• Driving on Ocean between 3 and 9 p.m.

Scheduling a "lunch" meeting at a juice bar.

• Participating in a group bicycle ride of 15 or more people along Neilson Way. • Entering a crosswalk while looking at a phone.

Complaining about traffic during a car trip of less than 5 blocks.

• Failing to understand how to drive at a roundabout on Michigan.

• Walking on the clearly marked bicycle side of the beach path.

• Making a left onto Lincoln from Olympic when traffic has clearly stopped thereby blocking anyone from moving.

• Backing up into oncoming traffic instead of driving around the block when you miss a turn.

• Business refusing to accept credit cards in the 21st Century.

• Failing to disclose your ice tea is flavored with something other than tea.

• Waiting for a green light to make a right onto Wilshire when traffic is light and the lane is clearly empty.

• Failing to fit a vehicle between the lines marking each metered space.

• Giving attitude to the waiter after your sandwich with eight substitutions wasn't to your liking.

• Riding a hoverboard inside a store.

• Driving in the parking/bike lane for more than one block to make a right.

• Uber/Lyft driver traveling less than 5 miles per hour while trolling for customers.

• Used the term "fur baby" or "pet parent" without irony.

• Holding fruit within one inch of nose hair to enjoy the aroma and not purchasing it.

• Setting up camp at the beach within 5 feet of another towel.

• Using an elevator to travel one floor without a cane, prosthetic leg or AARP card.

• Standing side by side on an escalator.

• Wistfully eulogizing garbage food from chain restaurants after their closure.

• Restaurants failing to differentiate between medium rare/medium/medium well.

Puzzles & Stuff FRIDAY, APRIL 1, 2016

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MYSTERY PHOTO

13

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Sudoku Fill in the blank cells using numbers 1 to 9. Each number can appear only once in each row, column, and 3x3 block. Use logic and process of elimination to solve the puzzle. The difficulty level ranges from (easiest) to (hardest).

GETTING STARTED There are many strategies to solving Sudoku. One way to begin is to examine each 3x3 grid and figure out which numbers are missing. Then, based on the other numbers in the row and column of each blank cell, find which of the missing numbers will work.

Eliminating numbers will eventually lead you to the answer.

SOLUTIONS TO YESTERDAY’S PUZZLE

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WORD UP! intransigent 1. refusing to agree or compromise; uncompromising; inflexible.

2. a person who refuses to agree or compromise, as in politics.

– India's central banking institution, The Reserve Bank of India is formed.

– Odisha formerly known as Kalinga or Utkal becomes a state in India.

– Aden becomes a British crown colony.

– Spanish Civil War: Jaén, Spain is bombed

by Nazi forces.

– Spanish Civil War: Generalísimo Francisco Franco of the Spanish State announces the end of the Spanish Civil War, when the last of the Republican forces surrender.

– Fântâna Alb? massacre: Between 200 and 2,000 Romanian civilians are

1935 1936 1937 1937 1939 1941

NEWS OF THE WEIRD killed by Soviet Border Troops.

– The Blockade Runner Badge for the German navy is instituted.

– A military coup in Iraq overthrows the regime of 'Abd al-Ilah and installs Rashid Ali al-Gaylani as Prime Minister.

– Navigation errors lead to an accidental American bombing of the Swiss city of Schaffhausen.

– World War II: Operation Iceberg: United States troops land on Okinawa in the last major campaign of the war.

– Formation of the Malayan Union.

1941 1941

1944 1945

1946

BY

CHUCK

■ Needed Training Wheels: Timothy Broad, 30, was convicted in February of a November Clacton, England, convenience store robbery and jailed for more than three years. The balaclavawearing Broad had pedaled away from the store with the money but managed to fall off his bicycle three separate times, in short order, in the process losing both the balaclava (from which his DNA was recovered) and all the cash.

■ In October (2011), a court in Ottawa, Ontario, sentenced pornography collector Richard Osborn, 46, to a year in jail on several charges but dismissed the more serious child porn

SHEPARD

counts. Judge Robert Fournier ruled that Osborn's hard-core images of Bart and Lisa Simpson and Milhouse were not illegal, on the ground that he could not be certain of the characters' ages.

(Baby Maggie Simpson was not involved in sex.) Judge Fournier was clearly exasperated at Osborn's perversions, among them his homemade video of swimsuit-clad youngsters, interspersed with shots of Osborn himself masturbating, aided by a Cabbage Patch doll with cut-open mouth. Finally, a disgusted Judge Fournier halted the presentation of evidence. "Enough," he said.

"We are not paid to sit here and torture ourselves."

Comics & Stuff FRIDAY, APRIL 1, 2016

14

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BE A CHAIR LEO. BE A CHAIR. ARIES (March 21-April 19)

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

★★★ Don't trust Julie! Now trust me, I know it

★★★★ When the time comes to make a difficult decision today, just remember WWSBD. What Would Sponge Bob Do? Play the flute on his nose? Cackle in dolphin speak? Walk a pet snail?

Maybe the best choice is to head to work, grab your spatula and knock out a batch of the best darn Krabby Patties this side of Bikini Bottom.

seems like a perfectly fine idea; “Hey Julie sounds great, she's a really a stand up gal;” but it won't end well. You will be hurt, everyone else will be hurt and you owe it to yourself…

Fine, but you'll be sorry.

Speed Bump

By Dave Coverly

Strange Brew

By John Deering

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) ★★★ It's time to buy some lottery tickets. If you buy enough you just have to win, right?

Now it seems like you should have done so when the Jackpot was huge, but that is the obvious time to buy them. The fewer people, the better your chance of winning, see science.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) ★★★★ Get some nylon rope, a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream, a 16Gb thumb drive, 3 scented candles with different smells, and a set of commemorative cups from the 1980 Olympic Summer Games. Put it all in a backpack, and bring it to the corner of 17th Street and Arizona at 3:44 a.m. tomorrow.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) ★★★★ It's time for a new career choice.

Something freeing, something mobile, something that fulfills your potential as a rambler.

Fill a bandanna with your belongings, tie it to a stick and prepare to ride the Expo rails to enlightenment.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) ★★★★ Be a chair. Perhaps you join a board or commission, work your way to the top, gain the respect of your peers and have them elect you to the leadership position. Or just squat down behind someone and wait for them to tire and need to sit. Either way, you will have become a chair.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) ★★★★ Why are you reading this? Do you think this will actually help? Are you avoiding the real problem here? Are you worried you've missed your chance for happiness? Is it because you regret your past decisions, and question your current ones? Stop looking elsewhere, the problem was you the whole time.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) ★★★★ The Feng Shui has been disturbed and the only way to restore balance to the City is through the power of dance. Each dance can only be utilized for specific purposes. The Tango is for use crossing the street. The Robot should be used inside all elevators. Hip-hop steps are appropriate for waiting in line at the grocery store.

By Mick and Mason Mastroianni

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) ★★★★ The best way to remove obstacles to your life is to remove the physical blockages plaguing your existence. Start with all doors. Remove them from your home, office and car. If you encounter a door outside your control, move towards it at full speed and know that it will open on its own if the world wants you to achieve your goals.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) ★★★★ The universe wants to reach you but your placement on the no-call list is preventing the connection. Seek out telemarketing companies and provide them with your home, work and cell phone number. To maximize the chance at a connection also provide them with the phone numbers for your parents, siblings, children and other family members.

Garfield

By Jim Davis

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) ★★★★ Duck! If something was about to hit you in the head, you avoided it. If something did hit you in the head, you should listen to your horoscope next time. If something wasn't about hit you in the head, then you have clearly gone off track somewhere and you are missing out on your fate.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) ★★★★★ We all change, when you think about

The Meaning of Lila

By John Forgetta & L.A. Rose

it. We're all different people all through our lives. And that's okay, that's good, you've got to keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be.

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FRIDAY, APRIL 1, 2016

Visit us online at www.smdp.com

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(310) 458-7737

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Help Wanted DOOR&WINDOW SALESFisher Lumber is looking for a personable and knowledgeable person to run our door and window dept. Able to communicate well with both our contractors and homeowner customers. Excellent benefits (310) 395-0956

Personals Gentleman artist, 82 years, seeks friendship with liberal minded, cultured lady, 70-90 years. Preferably Santa Monica/ Palisades area. Call Albert (310) 393-2508

DBAS FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT FILE NUMBER: 2016039581 ORIGINAL FILING This statement was filed with the County Clerk of LOS ANGELES on 02/19/2016 The following person(s) is (are) doing business as A.N. ARROYO JANITORIAL SERVICE. 11455 BIRCH ST , LYNWOOD, CA 90262. The full name of registrant(s) is/are: NAYELI ADRIANA ARROYO HERNANDEZ 11455 BIRCH ST LYNWOOD, CA 90262. This Business is being conducted by: an Individual. The registrant has not yet commenced to transact business under the fictitious business name or names listed above. /s/:NAYELI ADRIANA ARROYO HERNANDEZ. NAYELI ADRIANA ARROYO HERNANDEZ. This statement was filed with the County Clerk of LOS ANGELES County on 02/19/2016. NOTICE: THIS FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT EXPIRES FIVE YEARS FROM THE DATE IT WAS FILED IN THE OFFICE OF THE COUNTY CLERK. A NEW FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT MUST BE FILED PRIOR TO THAT DATE. The filing of this statement does not of itself authorize the use in this state of a fictitious business name statement in violation of the rights of another under federal, state, or common law (see Section 14411et seq.,Business and Professions Code). SANTA MONICA DAILY PRESS to publish 03/18/2016, 03/25/2016, 04/01/2016, 04/08/2016.

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70

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CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING CONDITIONS: REGULAR RATE: $11.00 a day. Ads over 15 words add 75¢ per word per day. Ad must run a minimum of twelve consecutive days. PREMIUMS: First two words caps no charge. Bold words, italics, centered lines, etc. cost extra.

Please call for rates. TYPOS: Check your ad the first day of publication. Sorry, we do not issue credit after an ad has run more than once.

DEADLINES: 2:30 p.m. prior the day of publication except for Monday’s paper when the deadline is Friday at 2:00 p.m. PAYMENT: All private party ads must be pre-paid. We accept checks, credit cards, and of course cash. CORRESPONDENCE: To place your ad call our offices 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday through Friday, (310) 458-7737; send a check or money order with ad copy to The Santa Monica Daily Press, P.O. Box 1380, Santa Monica, CA 90406. OTHER RATES: For information about the professional services directory or classified display ads, please call our office at (310) 458-7737.

HOURS MONDAY - FRIDAY 9:00am - 5:00pm

LOCATION 1640 5th Street, Suite 218, Santa Monica, CA 90401

16

FRIDAY, APRIL 1, 2016

ADVERTISEMENT

Brandd New. Certifiedd Pre-Owned.

Gentlyy Used.

W.I. SIMONSON A Mercedes-Benz Dealer

Add some zest to your ride.

2015 MERCEDES-BENZ

CLA250 Coupe

$

329

Per Mo PlusTax 36 Month Lease $3623 total due at signing

Available only to qualified customers through Mercedes-Benz Financial Services at participating dealers through April 30, 2016. Not everyone will qualify. Advertised 36 months lease payment based on MSRP of $34,725 less the suggested dealer contribution resulting in a total gross capitalized cost of $33,400. Dealer contribution may vary and could affect your actual lease payment. Includes Destination Charge and Premium 1 Package. Excludes title, taxes, registration, license fees, insurance, dealer prep and additional options. Total monthly payments equal $11,844. Cash due at signing includes $2,499 capitalized cost reduction, $795 acquisition fee and first month's lease payment of $329. No security deposit required. Total payments equal $15,138. At lease end, lessee pays for any amounts due under the lease, any official fees and taxes related to the scheduled termination, excess wear and use plus $0.25/mile over 30,000 miles, and $595 vehicle turn-in fee. Purchase option at lease end for $21,182 plus taxes (and any other fees and charges due under the applicable lease agreement) in example shown. Subject to credit approval. Specific vehicles are subject to availability and may have to be ordered. See participating dealer for details.

Please always wear your seat belt, drive safely and obey speed limits.

2016 MERCEDES-BENZ

C300 Sedan

$

399

Per Mo PlusTax 36 Month Lease $4553 total due at signing

Available only to qualified customers through Mercedes-Benz Financial Services at participating dealers through April 30, 2016. Not everyone will qualify. Advertised 36 months lease payment based on MSRP of $41,125 less the suggested dealer contribution resulting in a total gross capitalized cost of $40,192. Dealer contribution may vary and could affect your actual lease payment. Includes Destination Charge, Premium 1 Package and Blind Spot Assist. Excludes title, taxes, registration, license fees, insurance, dealer prep and additional options. Total monthly payments equal $14,364. Cash due at signing includes $3,359 capitalized cost reduction, $795 acquisition fee and first month's lease payment of $399. No security deposit required. Total payments equal $18,518. At lease end, lessee pays for any amounts due under the lease, any official fees and taxes related to the scheduled termination, excess wear and use plus $0.25/mile over 30,000 miles, and $595 vehicle turn-in fee. Purchase option at lease end for $25,909 plus taxes (and any other fees and charges due under the applicable lease agreement) in example shown. Subject to credit approval. Specific vehicles are subject to availability and may have to be ordered. See participating dealer for details. Please always wear your seat belt, drive safely and obey speed limits.

2016 MERCEDES-BENZ

GLC300 SUV

$

449

Per Mo PlusTax 36 Month Lease $4643 total due at signing

Available only to qualified customers through Mercedes-Benz Financial Services at participating dealers through April 30, 2016. Not everyone will qualify. Advertised 36 months lease payment based on MSRP of $41,725 less the suggested dealer contribution resulting in a total gross capitalized cost of $41,235. Dealer contribution may vary and could affect your actual lease payment. Includes Destination Charge, Premium 1 Package, Blind Spot Assist and Heated Front Seats. Excludes title, taxes, registration, license fees, insurance, dealer prep and additional options. Total monthly payments equal $16,164. Cash due at signing includes $3,399 capitalized cost reduction, $795 acquisition fee and first month's lease payment of $449. No security deposit required. Total payments equal $20,358. At lease end, lessee pays for any amounts due under the lease, any official fees and taxes related to the scheduled termination, excess wear and use plus $0.25/mile over 30,000 miles, and $595 vehicle turn-in fee. Purchase option at lease end for $25,452 plus taxes (and any other fees and charges due under the applicable lease agreement) in example shown. Subject to credit approval. Specific vehicles are subject to availability and may have to be ordered. See participating dealer for details. Please always wear your seat belt, drive safely and obey speed limits.

Many Affordable Pre-Owned Vehicles to Choose From.

2003 Honda

2008 Volkswagen

2003 Mercedes-Benz

Accord EX.............................$ 6,991 Passat.....................................$ 7,981 M350.....................................$ 7,991 Low Miles, Keyless, Leather, Pwr Htd Fr Seats, Moonroof T3A017923

Pwr Rear Door, Pwr Seats, Turbocharged T8E189847

Convenience Pkg, Bose, Xenon, Htd Front Seats T5A559616

2007 Toyota

2006 Mercedes-Benz

2005 Cadillac

Prius........................................$ 7,991 CLK350..............................$8,981 Escalade AWD..................$ 9,991 Tilt, Keyless, PS/PW, FM/CD, 60MPG City T73221490

Premium Pkg, Walnut Wood Trim T6F166393

Keyless, Rear AC, Leather Htd Power Seats T5R120128

2004 Mercedes-Benz

2011 Jeep

2006 Mercedes-Benz

C250 Wagon.........................$9,991 Compass Latitude........$12,981 CLS.......................................$13,991 Only 35K Miles! Power Seats, Keyless, Wood Dash Insert T4F466111

Low Miles, AC Keyless, Tilt, PS/PW TBD239570

AMG Sport Pkg, Parktronic, Comfort Pkg, Lighting Pkg T6A032159

WISIMONSON.net 17th and Wilshire • Santa Monica • 800.784.7160

15All advertised prices exclude government fees and taxes, any finance charges, any dealer document preparation charges and any emission testing charge. Ad expires 01/04/16 close of business.