9781784702861

ERIN MORGENSTERN Erin Morgenstern is a bestselling author whose works The Night Circus and The Starless Sea have enchanted readers around the world. She has a degree in Theatre from Smith College, an ever-growing collection of jewellery made from skeleton keys, and a cat on her lap.

She lives in Massachusetts. www.erinmorgenstern.com

ALSO BY ERIN MORGENSTERN

The Night Circus

THE

STARLESS SEA ERIN MORGENSTERN

1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2 Vintage is part of the Penguin Random House group of companies whose addresses can be found at global.penguinrandomhouse.com

Copyright © E. Morgenstern, LLC 2019 Erin Morgenstern has asserted her right to be identified as the author of this Work in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 First published in Great Britain in 2019 by Harvill Secker This paperback first published by Vintage in 2020 This edition published by Vintage in 2022 penguin.co.uk/vintage A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library ISBN 9781784702861 Printed and bound in Great Britain by Clays Ltd, Elcograf S.p.A. The authorised representative in the EEA is Penguin Random House Ireland, Morrison Chambers, 32 Nassau Street, Dublin D02 YH68 Penguin Random House is committed to a sustainable future for our business, our readers and our planet. This book is made from Forest Stewardship Council® certified paper.

The Starless Sea

1

SO S W ESEW T ESEOTR R OR WRSO W S

Once, Once, very long veryago long . . .ago . . .

ThereThere is a pirate is a pirate in thein basement. the basement.

(The pirate (The pirate is a metaphor is a metaphor but also butstill alsoa person.) still a person.)

(The basement (The basement could could rightlyrightly be considered be considered a dungeon.) a dungeon.)

The pirate The pirate was placed was placed here for here numerous for numerous acts ofacts a piratey of a piratey naturenature considered considered criminal criminal enough enough for punishment for punishment by those by those non-pirates non-pirates who decide who decide such things. such things.

Someone Someone said tosaid throw to throw away the away key, thebut key,the but key therests key on rests a taron a tarnishednished ring on ring a hook on a that hookhangs that hangs on theon wall thenearby. wall nearby.

(Close(Close enough enough to seetofrom see from behind behind the bars. the Freedom bars. Freedom kept in kept in sight but sightout butofout reach, of reach, left asleft a reminder as a reminder to thetoprisoner. the prisoner.

No one No one remembers remembers that now thaton now theon key theside keyofside theof bars. the The bars.careful The careful psy- psychological chological designdesign forgotten, forgotten, distilled distilled into habit into and habitconvenience.) and convenience.)

(The pirate (The pirate realizes realizes this but this withholds but withholds comment.) comment.)

The guard The guard sits insits a chair in a by chair theby door the and doorreads and reads crimecrime serialsserials on on faded faded paper,paper, wishing wishing he were hean were idealized, an idealized, fictional fictional version version of himof himself. Wondering self. Wondering if the ifdifference the difference between between piratespirates and thieves and thieves is a is a mattermatter of boats of boats and hats. and hats.

After After a timeahe time is replaced he is replaced by another by another guard.guard.

The pirate The pirate cannot cannot discern discern the precise the precise schedule, schedule, as theasbasementthe basementdungeon dungeon has nohas no clocksclocks to mark to mark the time the and timethe and sound the sound of theof waves the waves on theon shore the shore beyond beyond the stone the stone walls muffles walls muffles the morning the morning chimes, chimes, the evening the evening merriment. merriment.

This guard This guard is shorter is shorter and does andnot does read. not He read. wishes He wishes to be no to be oneno one but himself, but himself, he lacks he the lacksimagination the imagination to conjure to conjure alter egos, alter egos, even even the imagination the imagination to empathize to empathize with the withman thebehind man behind the bars, the the bars, the only other only other soul insoul theinroom the room beyond beyond the mice. the mice.

He pays Heelaborate pays elaborate amounts amounts of attention of attention to his to shoes his shoes when when he is not he is asleep. not asleep.

(He is(He usu-is usually asleep.) ally asleep.)

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Approximately Approximately three three hours hours after the aftershort the short guard guard replaces replaces the the reading reading guard,guard, a girl comes. a girl comes.

The girl The brings girl brings a plateaof plate bread of bread and a bowl and aof bowl water of water and sets andthem sets them outside outside the pirate’s the pirate’s cell with cellhands with hands shaking shaking so badly so badly that half thatthe half the water water spills. spills.

Then Then she turns she and turnsscampers and scampers up theup stairs. the stairs.

The second The second night (the nightpirate (the pirate guesses guesses it is night) it is night) the pirate the pirate standsstands as close as to close theto bars theasbars he can as he and can stares and stares and the and girl the drops girl drops the bread the bread nearlynearly out ofout reach of reach and spills and the spills bowl the of bowl water of water almostalmost entirely. entirely.

The third The night third night the pirate the pirate stays in stays thein shadows the shadows of theof back the corback corner and nermanages and manages to keep tomost keep of most his of water. his water.

The fourth The fourth night night a different a different girl comes. girl comes.

This girl Thisdoes girl not doeswake not the wakeguard. the guard.

Her feet Herfall feet more fall more softly softly on on the stones the stones and any and sound any sound they make they make is stolen is stolen away by away theby waves the waves or or by theby mice. the mice.

This girl This stares girl stares into the into shadows the shadows at the at barely the barely visiblevisible pirate,pirate, gives gives a littlea disappointed little disappointed sigh, and sigh,places and places the bread the bread and bowl and by bowl theby the bars. Then bars. Then she waits. she waits.

The pirate The pirate remains remains in thein shadows. the shadows.

After After severalseveral minutes minutes of silence of silence punctuated punctuated by theby guard’s the guard’s snor- snoring, the ing, girl the turns girl away turns and awayleaves. and leaves.

WhenWhen the pirate the pirate retrieves retrieves his meal his he meal finds he the finds water the water has been has been mixedmixed with wine. with wine.

The next Thenight, next night, the fifth thenight fifth night if it is if night it is night at all, at theall, pirate the pirate waits waits by theby bars thefor bars thefor girl the togirl descend to descend on heron silent her silent feet. feet.

Her steps Her halt stepsonly haltbriefly only briefly when when she sees shehim. sees him.

The pirate The pirate staresstares and the and girl the stares girl stares back. back.

He holds He holds out a hand out a for hand hisfor bowl hisand bowl his and bread his bread but the but girl the places girl places them them on theon ground the ground instead, instead, her eyes hernever eyes never leaving leaving his, not his,allownot allowing soing much so much as theas hem theofhem herof gown her gown to drift tointo drifthis into reach. his reach.

Bold yet Bold yet coy. She coy. gives Shehim givesa him hint aofhint a bow of aasbow sheas returns she returns to herto feet, herafeet, gentle a gentle nod ofnod herofhead, her head, a movement a movement that reminds that reminds him ofhim theofbeginning the beginning of theof dance. the dance.

(Even(Even a pirate a pirate can recognize can recognize the beginning the beginning of a dance.) of a dance.)

The next Thenight next night the pirate the pirate stays back stays from back the from bars, the abars, polite a polite dis- distance tance that could that could be closed be closed in a single in a single step, and step,the andgirl thecomes girl comes a a breathbreath closer.closer.

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Another Another night night and the anddance the dance continues. continues.

A stepAcloser. step closer.

A stepA step back. back.

A movement A movement to thetoside. the The side.next The night next night he holds he holds out his out his hand again hand again to accept to accept what she whatoffers she offers and this andtime this she timeresponds she responds and his and fingers his fingers brushbrush against against the back theof back herof hand. her hand.

The girl The begins girl begins to linger, to linger, staying staying longerlonger each night, each night, though though if the if the guard guard stirs tostirs theto point the point of waking of waking she departs she departs without without a backward a backward glance.glance.

She brings She brings two bowls two bowls of wine of and winethey anddrink they drink together together in comin companionable panionable silence. silence.

The guard The guard has stopped has stopped snoring, snoring, his sleep his deep sleep deep and restful. and restful.

The pirate The pirate suspects suspects the girl the has girl something has something to do to with do with that. Bold that.and Boldcoy and and coyclever. and clever.

Some Some nightsnights she brings she brings more more than bread. than bread.

Oranges Oranges and plums and plums secreted secreted in theinpockets the pockets of herofgown. her gown.

PiecesPieces of candied of candied gingerginger wrapped wrapped in paper in paper laced with lacedstories. with stories.

Some Some nightsnights she stays sheuntil staysmoments until moments beforebefore the changing the changing of theof the guards. guards.

(The daytime (The daytime guard guard has begun has begun leaving leaving his crime his crime serialsserials withinwithin reach reach of theof cell’s thewalls, cell’s walls, ostensibly ostensibly by accident.) by accident.)

The shorter The shorter guard guard paces paces tonight. tonight.

He clears He clears his throat his throat as though as though he might he might say something say something but says butnothing. says nothing.

He settles He settles himself himself in his in his chair and chairfalls andinto fallsan into anxious an anxious sleep. sleep.

The pirate The pirate waits for waits thefor girl. the girl.

She arrives She arrives emptyemptyhanded. handed.

Tonight Tonight is the is last the night. last night.

The night The night beforebefore the gallows. the gallows.

(The gal(The gallows are lows also area also metaphor, a metaphor, albeitalbeit an obvious an obvious one.) The one.)pirate The pirate knowsknows that there that there will not willbenot another be another night,night, will not willbenot another be another changing changing of theof guard the guard after the after next theone. nextThe one.girl The knows girl knows the exact the exact number number of hours. of hours.

They do They notdo speak not speak of it. of it.

They have Theynever have never spoken. spoken.

The pirate The pirate twiststwists a lockaoflock theof girl’s thehair girl’sbetween hair between his fingers. his fingers.

The girl Theleans girl into leansthe intobars, the her bars,cheek her cheek restingresting on cold oniron, cold as iron, as close as close sheas can she becan while be while she remains she remains a world a world away. away.

CloseClose enough enough to kiss. to kiss.

“Tell me “Tell a story,” me a story,” she says. she says.

The pirate The pirate obliges obliges her. her.

5 5

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S W ESEW T ESEOTR R OR WRSO W S SO

There There are three arepaths. three paths.

This isThis one of is one them. of them.

Far beneath Far beneath the surface the surface of theof earth, the earth, hidden hidden from the from sun the and sunthe and the moon,moon, upon upon the shores the shores of theof Starless the Starless Sea, there Sea, there is a labyrinthine is a labyrinthine collection collection of tunnels of tunnels and rooms and rooms filled with filledstories. with stories.

StoriesStories written written in books in books and sealed and sealed in jarsinand jarspainted and painted on walls. on walls.

Odes Odes inscribed inscribed onto skin ontoand skinpressed and pressed into rose intopetals. rose petals.

Tales laid Talesinlaid tilesinupon tiles the upon the floors,floors, bits ofbits plotofworn plot worn away by away passing by passing feet. Legends feet. Legends carvedcarved in in crystalcrystal and hung and hung from chandeliers. from chandeliers.

StoriesStories catalogued catalogued and cared and cared for and forrevered. and revered.

Old stories Old stories preserved preserved while while new stories new stories springspring up up around around them.them.

The place The place is sprawling is sprawling yet intimate. yet intimate.

It is difficult It is difficult to measure to measure its its breadth. breadth.

Halls Halls fold into foldrooms into rooms or galleries or galleries and stairs and stairs twist downtwist downward or ward upward or upward to alcoves to alcoves or arcades. or arcades.

Everywhere Everywhere there there are doors are doors leading leading to newtospaces new spaces and new andstories new stories and new andsecrets new secrets to be to dis-be discovered covered and everywhere and everywhere there there are books. are books.

It is aItsanctuary is a sanctuary for storytellers for storytellers and storykeepers and storykeepers and storyand storylovers.lovers.

They eat They and eat sleep and and sleep dream and dream surrounded surrounded by chronicles by chronicles and and histories histories and myths. and myths.

Some Some stay for stay hours for hours or days orbefore days before returning returning to theto world the world aboveabove but others but others remain remain for weeks for weeks or years, or years, living living in in sharedshared or private or private chambers chambers and spending and spending their hours their hours reading reading or or studying studying or writing, or writing, discussing discussing and creating and creating with their with fellow their fellow resi- residents dents or working or working in solitude. in solitude.

Of those Of those who remain, who remain, a few choose a few choose to devote to devote themselves themselves to thisto this space,space, to thistotemple this temple of stories. of stories.

ThereThere are three are three paths.paths.

This isThis oneisofone them. of them.

This isThis the is path theof path theof acolytes. the acolytes.

ThoseThose who wish whoto wish choose to choose this path thismust pathspend must spend a full cycle a fullof cycle theof the moonmoon in isolated in isolated contemplation contemplation beforebefore they commit. they commit.

The contemThe contem-

t h e stth ae r lsetsasr sleeas s s e a

plation plation is thought is thought to be silent, to be silent, but ofbut those of those who allow who allow themselves themselves to be locked to be locked away in away thein stonethe stonewalledwalled room,room, some some will realize will realize that that no onenocan onehear canthem. hear them.

They They can talk canortalk yellororyell scream or scream and itand vio-it violates no lates rules. no rules.

The contemplation The contemplation is onlyisthought only thought to be to silent be silent by by those those who have whonever have never been inside been inside the room. the room.

Once Once the contemplation the contemplation has ended has ended they have they the haveopportunity the opportunity to leave to their leave path. their To path. choose To choose another another path or path no path or noat path all. at all.

ThoseThose who spend who spend their time theirin time silence in silence often choose often choose to leave toboth leave both the path theand paththe and space. the space.

They They returnreturn to theto surface. the surface.

They They squintsquint at at the sun. theSometimes sun. Sometimes they remember they remember a world a world belowbelow that they thatonce they once intended intended to devote to devote themselves themselves to buttothe butmemory the memory is hazy, is like hazy,a like a place from place afrom dream. a dream.

More More often often it is those it is those who scream who scream and cry and and crywail, andthose wail, those who who talk totalk themselves to themselves for hours, for hours, who are who ready are ready when when the time thecomes time comes to proceed to proceed with their with initiation. their initiation.

Tonight, Tonight, as theas moon the moon is newisand newthe and door theisdoor unlocked, is unlocked, it reveals it reveals a young a young woman woman who has who spent has spent most of most herof time hersinging. time singing.

She isShe shy is shy and not and innot thein habit the of habit singing, of singing, but onbut heron first hernight first of night contemplaof contemplation she tionrealized she realized almostalmost by accident by accident that no that one nocould one could hear her. hear her.

She laughed, She laughed, partlypartly at herself at herself and partly and partly at the at oddity the oddity of having of having vol- voluntarily untarily jailed jailed herselfherself in thein most the luxurious most luxurious of cellsofwith cellsits with feather its feather bed and bedsilken and silken sheets.sheets.

The laugh The laugh echoed echoed around around the stone the stone room room like ripples like ripples of water. of water.

She clasped She clasped her hand her over handher overmouth her mouth and waited and waited for someone for someone to come to come but nobut onenodid. oneShe did.tried She to tried recall to recall if anyone if anyone had told hadher told her explicitly explicitly not tonot speak. to speak.

She said She“Hello?” said “Hello?” and only andthe only echoes the echoes returned returned her greeting. her greeting.

It took Itatook few adays fewbefore days before she was shebrave was brave enough enough to sing. toShe sing.had She had never never liked her liked singing her singing voice but voice inbut herin captivity her captivity free offree embarrassof embarrassment and ment expectation and expectation she sang, she softly sang, softly at firstatbut first then butbrightly then brightly and and boldly.boldly.

The voice The voice that the thatecho the returned echo returned to hertoears herwas earssurpriswas surprisingly pleasant. ingly pleasant.

She sang She all sang theallsongs the songs she knew. she knew.

She made She made up herupown. her own.

In In moments moments when when she could she could not think not think of words of words to singtoshe singcreated she created nonsense nonsense languages languages for lyrics for lyrics with sounds with sounds she found she found pleasing. pleasing.

It surprised It surprised her how herquickly how quickly the time thepassed. time passed.

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Now the Now door theopens. door opens.

The acolyte The acolyte who enters who enters holds holds a ring aofring brass of keys. brass He keys. offers He offers his his other other palm to palm her.to On her. it sits On aitsmall sits a disk smallofdisk metal of metal with awith raised a raised carv- carving of ing a bee. of a bee.

Accepting Accepting the bee theis bee the is next thestep nextinstep becoming in becoming an acolyte. an acolyte.

This This is her is final herchance final chance to refuse. to refuse.

She takes She the takes bee the from bee the from acolyte’s the acolyte’s palm. palm.

He bows He and bowsgestures and gestures for herfor toher follow to follow him. him.

The young The young woman woman who iswho to be is an to be acolyte an acolyte turns turns the warm the warm metal metal disk over disk in over herinfingers her fingers as they as walk they through walk through narrow narrow candlelit candlelit tunnels tunnels lined with lined bookshelves with bookshelves and open and caverns open caverns filled with filled miswith mismatched matched chairschairs and tables, and tables, stacked stacked high with high books with books and dotted and dotted with statues. with statues.

She pets Sheapets statue a statue of a fox of as a fox they aspass theyby, pass a popular by, a popular habit that habithas that worn has its worn carved its carved fur smooth fur smooth between between its ears. its ears.

An older An older man leafing man leafing through through a volume a volume glances glances up as up they aspass they pass and recognizing and recognizing the procession the procession he places he places two fingers two fingers to his to lipshis and lips and inclines inclines his head hisat head her.at her.

At her,Atnot her,atnot theat acolyte the acolyte she follows. she follows.

A gesture A gesture of respect of respect for a for a position position she does shenot does yet not officially yet officially hold. She hold. bows She her bows head herto head hide to hide her smile. her smile.

They continue They continue down down gildedgilded stairways stairways and through and through curv- curving tunnels ing tunnels she has she never has never traversed traversed before. before.

She slows She slows to look toatlook theat the paintings paintings hung between hung between the shelves the shelves of books, of books, imagesimages of trees of and trees and girls and girlsghosts. and ghosts.

The acolyte The acolyte stops stops at a door at a door marked marked with awith golden a golden bee. He bee. He chooses chooses a key from a key his from ring hisand ringunlocks and unlocks it. it.

Here begins Here begins the initiation. the initiation.

It is a It secret is a secret ceremony. ceremony.

The details The details are known are known only toonly those to those who who undergo undergo it anditthose and those who perform who perform it. It has it. It been hasperformed been performed in thein the same fashion same fashion always, always, as longasaslong anyone as anyone can remember. can remember.

As theAsdoor the with door the withgolden the golden bee isbee opened is opened and the andthreshold the threshold crossed crossed the acolyte the acolyte gives up gives herup name. her name.

Whatever Whatever name name this young this young woman woman was called was called beforebefore she will shenever will never be addressed be addressed by it again, by it again, it it stays in stays herinpast. her Someday past. Someday she may shehave may ahave newaname, new name, but for but thefor the moment moment she is she nameless. is nameless.

The room The room is small is small and round and round and highand ceilinged, high-ceilinged, a miniature a miniature version version of herof contemplation her contemplation cell. Itcell. holds It holds a plaina wooden plain wooden chair on chair on 8

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one side oneand sidea waistand a waisthigh pillar high of pillar stone of stone topped topped with awith bowlaof bowl fire.of fire.

The fire The provides fire provides the only thelight. only light.

The elder The elder acolyte acolyte gestures gestures for the foryoung the young woman woman to sit to in sit thein the wooden wooden chair. chair.

She does.

She does.

She faces She faces the fire, thewatching fire, watching the flames the flames dancedance until auntil piecea piece of black of black silk is silk tiedisover tiedher over eyes. her eyes.

The ceremony The ceremony continues continues unseen. unseen.

The metal The metal bee is bee taken is taken from her from hand. her hand.

ThereThere is a pause is a pause followed followed by theby sound the sound of metal of metal instruments instruments clinking clinking and then andthe then sensation the sensation of a finger of a finger on heron chest, her chest, pressing pressing into a into spotaon spot heron breastbone. her breastbone.

The The pressure pressure releases releases and then anditthen is replaced it is replaced by a sharp, by a sharp, searing searing pain. pain.

(She will (Sherealize will realize afterward afterward that the that metal the metal bee has bee been hasheated been heated in in the fire, theitsfire, winged its winged impression impression burned burned into her into chest.) her chest.)

The surprise The surprise of it unnerves of it unnerves her. She her.has Sheprepared has prepared herselfherself for for what she what knows she knows of theof rest theofrest theof ceremony, the ceremony, but this butisthis unexpected. is unexpected.

She realizes She realizes she has she never has never seen the seen bare thechest bare chest of another of another acolyte. acolyte.

WhenWhen moments moments beforebefore she was sheready, was ready, now she nowisshe shaken is shaken and and unsure. unsure.

But she But does shenot does say not Stop. sayShe Stop.does Shenot does say not No.say No. She has Shemade has made her decision, her decision, though though she could she could not have not known have known everything everything that decision that decision wouldwould entail.entail.

In theIndarkness, the darkness, fingersfingers part her partlips herand lipsa and dropa of drop honey of honey is is placedplaced on heron tongue. her tongue.

This isThis to ensure is to ensure that the that last the taste lastistaste sweet. is sweet.

In truth In the truth last the taste lastthat tasteremains that remains in an acolyte’s in an acolyte’s mouthmouth is more is more than honey: than honey: the sweetness the sweetness sweptswept up in blood up in blood and metal and metal and burnand burning flesh. ing flesh.

Were Were an acolyte an acolyte able toable describe to describe it, afterward, it, afterward, they might they might clarifyclarify that the that last the taste lastthey tasteexperience they experience is oneisofone honey of honey and smoke. and smoke.

It is not It is entirely not entirely sweet.sweet.

They They recall recall it eachit time each they timeextinguish they extinguish the flame the flame atop aatop beesa beeswax candle. wax candle.

A reminder A reminder of their of devotion. their devotion.

But they Butcannot they cannot speakspeak of it. of it.

They They surrender surrender their tongues their tongues willingly. willingly.

They They offer up offer their up abiltheir ability to speak ity to speak to better to better serve the serve voices the voices of others. of others.

They take Theyan take unspoken an unspoken vow tovow no longer to no longer tell their tellown theirstories own stories in in 9 9

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reverence reverence to theto ones thethat onescame that came beforebefore and toand theto ones thethat onesshall that shall follow.follow.

In thisInhoneythis honeytingedtinged pain the pain young the young woman woman in thein chair the thinks chair thinks she might she might scream scream but she but does shenot. doesInnot. theIn darkness the darkness the fire the seems fire seems to consume to consume the entire the entire room room and she andcan shesee can shapes see shapes in theinflames the flames even though even though her eyes herare eyes covered. are covered.

The bee The onbee heron chest her chest flutters. flutters.

Once Once her tongue her tongue has been has taken been taken and burned and burned and turned and turned to ash,to ash, once the once ceremony the ceremony is complete is complete and her and servitude her servitude as an acolyte as an acolyte offi- officially begins, cially begins, once her once voice her has voice been hasmuted, been muted, then her then ears herawaken. ears awaken.

Then Then the stories the stories begin begin to come. to come.

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SO S W ESEW T ESEOTR R OR WRSO W S

To deceive To deceive the eye.the eye.

The boy The is boy the son is the ofson theof fortunethe fortuneteller. teller.

He hasHe reached has reached an agean that age that bringsbrings an uncertainty an uncertainty as to whether as to whether this isthis something is something to be proud to be proud of, or even of, oraeven detail a detail to be divulged, to be divulged, but it but remains it remains true. true.

He walks He walks homehome from from schoolschool toward toward an apartment an apartment situated situated aboveabove a shopastrewn shop strewn with crystal with crystal balls and ballstarot and cards, tarot cards, incense incense and and statues statues of animalof animalheaded headed deitiesdeities and dried and sage. dried(The sage.scent (The scent of sageof sage permeates permeates everything, everything, from his from bedsheets his bedsheets to his to shoelaces.) his shoelaces.)

Today,Today, as he as does he every does every schoolschool day, the day,boy thetakes boy takes a shortcut a shortcut through through an alleyway an alleyway that loops that loops behind behind the store, the store, a narrow a narrow passage passage between between tall brick tall brick walls that wallsare thatoften are often covered covered with graffiti with graffiti and and then whitewashed then whitewashed and then andgraffitied then graffitied again.again.

Today,Today, instead instead of theof creatively the creatively spelled spelled tags and tagsbubbleand bubblelettered lettered profanities, profanities, there there is a single is a single piece piece of artwork of artwork on theonotherwise the otherwise white white bricks.bricks.

It is a It door. is a door.

The boy Thestops. boy stops.

He adjusts He adjusts his spectacles his spectacles to focus to focus his eyes hisbetter, eyes better, to be certain to be certain he is seeing he is seeing what his what sometimes his sometimes unreliable unreliable visionvision sug- suggests he gests is seeing. he is seeing.

The haziness The haziness around around the edges the edges sharpens, sharpens, and itand is still it isa still door. a door.

LargerLarger and fancier and fancier and more and more impressive impressive than he’d thanthought he’d thought at firstat first fuzzy fuzzy glance.glance.

He is uncertain He is uncertain what to what make to make of it. of it.

Its incongruousness Its incongruousness demands demands his attention. his attention.

The door The isdoor situated is situated far back far in back thein alley, the in alley, a shadowed in a shadowed section section hidden hidden from the from sun, thebut sun, the but colors the colors are still arerich, stillsome rich, some of theof pigthe pigmentsments metallic. metallic.

More More delicate delicate than most than of most theof graffiti the graffiti the boy thehas boy has seen. Painted seen. Painted in a style in ahe style knows he knows has a fancy has a fancy French French name,name, some-some-

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thing thing aboutabout fooling fooling the eye, thethough eye, though he cannot he cannot recall recall the term thehere term here and now. and now.

The door Theisdoor carved— is carved— no, painted— no, painted— with sharpwith sharpcut geometric cut geometric pat- patterns that ternswind thataround wind around its edges its edges creating creating depthdepth wherewhere there is there onlyis only flatness. flatness.

In theIn center, the center, at theat level thewhere level where a peephole a peephole mightmight be andbe and stylized stylized with lines with that linesmatch that match the rest theofrest theof painted the painted carving, carving, is a is a bee. Beneath bee. Beneath the bee the is bee a key. is Beneath a key. Beneath the key the is key a sword. is a sword.

A golden, A golden, seemingly seemingly three-threedimensional dimensional doorknob doorknob shimmers shimmers despite despite the lack theoflack light. of A light. keyhole A keyhole is painted is painted beneath, beneath, so dark so itdark it looks looks to be atovoid be aawaiting void awaiting a key rather a key rather than athan few strokes a few strokes of black of black paint.paint.

The door Theisdoor strange is strange and pretty and pretty and something and something that the that boy thedoes boy does not have notwords have words for and fordoes andnot does know not know if there if there are words are words for, even for, even fancy fancy French French expressions. expressions.

Somewhere Somewhere in thein street the street an unseen an unseen dog barks dog barks but it but sounds it sounds dis- distant and tant abstract. and abstract.

The sun The moves sun moves behind behind a cloud a cloud and the and alley thefeels alley feels longerlonger and deeper and deeper and darker, and darker, the door theitself door brighter. itself brighter.

Tentatively, Tentatively, the boy thereaches boy reaches out toout touch to touch the door. the door.

The part Theofpart himofthat himstill thatbelieves still believes in magic in magic expects expects it to be it warm to be warm despite despite the chill thein chill theinair. the Expects air. Expects the image the image to have to fundamenhave fundamentally changed tally changed the brick. the brick.

MakesMakes his heart his heart beat faster beat faster even as even hisas his hand hand slows slows down down because because the part theof part himofthat himthinks that thinks the other the other part ispart being is being childish childish prepares prepares for disappointment. for disappointment.

His fingertips His fingertips meet the meet door thebelow door below the sword the sword and they andcome they come to to rest on rest smooth on smooth paint paint covering covering cool brick, cool brick, a slight a slight unevenness unevenness to to the surface the surface betraying betraying the texture the texture below.below.

It is just It isa wall. just aJust wall.a Just wall awith wallawith pretty a pretty picture picture on it. on it.

But still.

But still.

Still there Still there is the is sensation the sensation tugging tugging at himatthat himthis thatisthis more is more than than what it what appears it appears to be. to be.

He presses He presses his palm his against palm against the painted the painted brick.brick.

The false The wood false wood of theof door the isdoor a brown is a brown barelybarely a shade a shade or twooroff two from off his from own hisskin own skin tone, as tone, though as though it has it been hasmixed been mixed to match to match him. him.

Behind Behind the door the is door somewhere is somewhere else. Not else.the Notroom the room behind behind the the wall. Something wall. Something more.more.

He knows He knows this. He this. feels Heitfeels in his it in toes. his toes.

This isThis what is his what mother his mother wouldwould call a call moment a moment with meaning. with meaning.

A A moment moment that changes that changes the moments the moments that follow. that follow.

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The son Theofson theoffortunethe fortuneteller teller knowsknows only that only the thatdoor the feels door feels important important in a way in aheway cannot he cannot quite explain, quite explain, even to even himself. to himself.

A boyA atboy theat beginning the beginning of a story of a has story nohas waynoofway knowing of knowing that the that the story has story begun. has begun.

He traces He traces the painted the painted lines of lines theof key the with keyhis with fingertips, his fingertips, marvelmarveling at ing howatmuch how much the key, thelike key,the like sword the sword and the and bee theand beethe and doorthe doorknob,knob, looks looks as though as though it should it should be threebe threedimensional. dimensional.

The boy Thewonders boy wonders who painted who painted it anditwhat and it what means, it means, if it means if it means anything. anything.

If not If the not door theat door least atthe least symbols. the symbols.

If it isIf a sign it is aand signnot and not a door,a or door, if itor is ifboth it isat both once. at once.

In thisInsignificant this significant moment, moment, if the ifboy theturns boy turns the painted the painted knob knob and opens and opens the impossible the impossible door, everything door, everything will change. will change.

But heBut does henot. does not.

Instead, Instead, he puts hehis puts hands his hands in his in pockets. his pockets.

Part ofPart himofdecides him decides he is being he is being childish childish and that andhe that is too he is old too toold to expectexpect real life real tolife be like to be books. like books.

Another Another part ofpart himofdecides him decides that ifthat if he does henot does trynot hetry cannot he cannot be disappointed be disappointed and heand canhe gocan on go believon believing that ingthe that door thecould door could open even openifeven it is ifjust it ispretend. just pretend.

He stands He stands with his with hands his hands in his in pockets his pockets and considers and considers the door the door for a moment for a moment more before more before walking walking away. away.

The following The following day his day curiosity his curiosity gets the getsbetter the better of himofand himheand he returns returns to findtothat findthe that door thehas door been has painted been painted over. The over.brick The brick wall wall whitewashed whitewashed to thetopoint the point wherewhere he cannot he cannot even discern even discern where,where, precisely, precisely, the door thehad doorbeen. had been.

And so And theso son the ofson theof fortunethe fortuneteller does tellernot does find nothis find way histoway theto the Starless Starless Sea. Sea. Not yet.

Not yet.

13 13

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January January 2015 2015

ThereThere is a book is a on book a shelf on ain shelf a university in a university library.library.

This This is notis unusual, not unusual, but itbut is not it is where not where this particular this particular book book shouldshould be. be.

The book The book is mis-isshelved mis-shelved in theinfiction the fiction section, section, even though even though the the majority majority of it isoftrue it isand truethe and rest theisrest trueisenough. true enough.

The fiction The fiction section section of thisoflibrary this library is not is asnot wellastraversed well traversed as other as other areas, areas, its rows itsdimly rows dimly lit lit and often and often dusty.dusty.

The book The book was donated, was donated, part of part a collection of a collection left toleft thetouniversity the university per the perprevious the previous owner’s owner’s last will lastand willtestament. and testament.

TheseThese booksbooks were were addedadded to thetolibrary, the library, classified classified by thebyDewey the Dewey Decimal Decimal System, System, given given stickers stickers with barcodes with barcodes insideinside their covers their covers so they socould they could be scanned be scanned at at the checkout the checkout desk and desksent andoff sent in different off in different directions. directions.

This particular This particular book book was scanned was scanned only once only to once be to added be added to theto the catalogue. catalogue.

It does It not doeshave not an have author an author namednamed withinwithin its pages, its pages, so it so it was entered was entered in thein system the system as “Unknown” as “Unknown” and started and started off amongst off amongst the the U-initialed U-initialed authors authors but has but meandered has meandered through through the alphabet the alphabet as other as other booksbooks move move around around it. Sometimes it. Sometimes it is taken it is taken down down and considered and considered and replaced and replaced again.again.

Its binding Its binding has been has cracked been cracked a handful a handful of times, of times, and once andaonce professor a professor even perused even perused the first thefew first pages few pages and intended and intended to to come come back to back it but to it forgot but forgot aboutabout it instead. it instead.

No one Nohas oneread hasthis readbook this book in its in entirety, its entirety, not since not it since has itbeen has in been in this library. this library.

Some Some (the forgetful (the forgetful professor professor included) included) have thought, have thought, fleetingly, fleetingly, that this thatbook this book does not doesbelong not belong here. That here. That perhaps perhaps it should it should be in be in the special the special collection, collection, a room a room that requires that requires students students to have towritten have written

e r i n emroi n r gm en or st geernns t e r n

permission permission to visittoand visitwhere and where librarians librarians hoverhover while while they look theyatlook rareat rare booksbooks and noand onenoisone allowed is allowed to check to check anything anything out. There out. There are noare barno barcodescodes on those on those books.books.

ManyMany require require glovesgloves for handling. for handling.

But this Butbook this remains book remains in thein regular the regular collection. collection.

In immobile, In immobile, hypo-hypothetical thetical circulation. circulation.

The book’s The book’s cover cover is a deep is a burgundy deep burgundy cloth that clothhas that aged hasand agedfaded and faded from rich fromtorich dull. toThere dull. There were once were gilded once gilded lettersletters impressed impressed upon upon it it but the butgold theisgold gone is now goneand nowthe andletters the letters have worn have worn away to away glyphto glyphlike dents. like dents.

The top The corner top corner is permanently is permanently bent from bent where from where a heavier a heavier volume volume sat atop satitatop in aitbox in aduring box during a stretch a stretch in a storage in a storage facilityfacility from from 1984 to 1984 1993. to 1993.

TodayToday is a January is a January day during day during what the what students the students refer to refer as J-toterm, as J-term, when when classesclasses have not have yet not started yet started but they butare they already are already welcomed welcomed back back on campus, on campus, and there and there are lectures are lectures and studentand studentled symposiums led symposiums and and theatrical theatrical productions productions in rehearsal. in rehearsal.

A postAholiday post-holiday warm-warmup before up before the regular the regular routines routines begin begin again.again.

Zachary Zachary Ezra Rawlins Ezra Rawlins is on campus is on campus to read. to He read. feels Hemildly feels mildly guilty guilty aboutabout this fact, this as fact, he as should he should be spending be spending his precious his precious winterwinter hours hours playing playing (and replaying, (and replaying, and analyzing) and analyzing) video video gamesgames in preparation in preparation for for his thesis. his thesis.

But heBut spends he spends so much so much time in time front in front of screens of screens he hashea has a near-compulsive near-compulsive need to need let to hislet eyeballs his eyeballs rest on rest paper. on paper.

He reminds He reminds himself himself that there that there is plenty is plenty of subject of subject overlap, overlap, though though he hashefound has found subject subject overlap overlap between between video video gamesgames and just andabout just about anything. anything.

Reading Reading a novel, a novel, he supposes, he supposes, is likeisplaying like playing a game a game wherewhere all theall the choices choices have been have made been made for you forahead you ahead of time of by time someone by someone who iswho is much much betterbetter at thisatparticular this particular game.game.

(Though (Though he sometimes he sometimes wisheswishes choosechooseyour-ownyour-adventure own-adventure novelsnovels wouldwould come come back into backfashion.) into fashion.)

He has Hebeen has reading been reading (or rereading) (or rereading) a greata great many many children’s children’s booksbooks as well, asbecause well, because the stories the stories seem more seem more story-storylike, though like, though he is mildly he is mildly concerned concerned this might this might be a symptom be a symptom of an impending of an impending quarterquarterlife crilife crisis. (He sis.half (Heexpects half expects this quarterthis quarterlife crisis life to crisis show to up show likeupclockwork like clockwork on hison twentyhis twentyfifth birthday, fifth birthday, whichwhich is onlyistwo onlymonths two months away.)away.)

The librarians The librarians took him tooktohim be atoliterature be a literature majormajor until one untilofone them of them struckstruck up a conversation up a conversation and heand feltheobliged felt obliged to confess to confess he washeactuwas actually one allyofone those of those Emerging Emerging MediaMedia Studies Studies people. people.

He missed He missed the the secretsecret identity identity as soon as as soon it was as itgone, was gone, a guisea he guise hadn’t he hadn’t even realized even realized 16

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he enjoyed he enjoyed wearing. wearing.

He supposes He supposes he looks he looks like a like lit major, a lit major, with his with his squaresquareframed framed glassesglasses and cableand cableknit sweaters. knit sweaters.

Zachary Zachary still has stillnot has not entirely entirely adjusted adjusted to New toEngland New England winters, winters, especially especially not one notlike one this like this with its with neverits neverceasing ceasing snow. snow.

He shields He shields his southernhis southernraisedraised body with body with heavyheavy layers layers of wool, of wool, wrapped wrapped in scarves in scarves and warmed and warmed with thermoses with thermoses full offull hotof cocoa hot cocoa that he that sometimes he sometimes spikesspikes with bourbon. with bourbon.

ThereThere are two areweeks two weeks left inleft January in January and Zachary and Zachary has exhausted has exhausted most of most his of to-his read to-list read oflist childhood of childhood classics, classics, at least atthe least ones thein ones thisin this library’s library’s collection, collection, so he has so he moved has moved on to books on to books he hashe been hasmeaning been meaning to read toand readothers and others chosen chosen at random at random after testing after testing the first thefew firstpages. few pages.

It hasIt become has become his morning his morning ritual,ritual, making making his choices his choices in thein bookthe bookdampened dampened librarylibrary quiet of quiet theof stacks the stacks and then andreturning then returning to his to dorm his dorm to read to the readday theaway. day away.

In theInskylighted the skylighted atrium, atrium, he shakes he shakes the snow the snow from his from boots his boots on theonrug thebyrug thebyentrance the entrance and drops and drops The Catcher The Catcher in in the Ryethe and RyeThe andShadow The Shadow of the Wind of the into Windthe into returns the returns box, wondering box, wondering if if halfway halfway through through the second the second year ofyear a master’s of a master’s degreedegree program program is too is too late tolate be unsure to be unsure aboutabout one’s major. one’s major.

Then Then he reminds he reminds himself himself that he that he likes Emerging likes Emerging MediaMedia and ifand he’difspent he’d spent five and fivea and half ayears half studying years studying literature literature he would he would probably probably be growing be growing wearyweary of it by of now, it by too. now,Atoo. A reading reading major,major, that’s that’s what he what wants. he wants.

No response No response papers, papers, no exams, no exams, no analysis, no analysis, just the just reading. the reading.

The fiction The fiction section, section, two floors two floors belowbelow and down and down a hallway a hallway lined lined with framed with framed lithographs lithographs of theof campus the campus in its youth, in its youth, is, unsurprisingly, is, unsurprisingly, empty.empty.

Zachary’s Zachary’s footsteps footsteps echo as echo he walks as he walks through through the stacks. the stacks.

This This section section of theof building the building is older, is older, a contrast a contrast to theto bright the bright atriumatrium at theat the entrance, entrance, the ceilings the ceilings lower lower and the and books the books stacked stacked all theall way theup, way theup, the light falling light falling in diminconfined dim confined rectangles rectangles from bulbs from bulbs that have that ahave ten-a tendencydency to burn to out burnnoout matter no matter how often how often they are they changed. are changed.

If he ever If he ever has the has money the money after graduating after graduating Zachary Zachary thinksthinks he might he might make make a verya very specific specific donation donation to fix the to fix electrical the electrical wiringwiring in thisinpart thisofpart theof library. the library.

Light Light enough enough to read toby read brought by brought to youtobyyou Z. Rawlins,

by Z. Rawlins, Class Class of 2015. of 2015.

You’reYou’re welcome. welcome.

He seeks He seeks out the out Wthe section, W section, havinghaving recently recently become become enamored enamored of of Sarah Sarah Waters, Waters, and though and though the catalogue the catalogue listed listed severalseveral titles, titles, The Little The Little Stranger Stranger is the isonly theone onlyonone theonshelf the so shelf he so is saved he is saved decisiondecisionmaking. making.

Zachary Zachary then searches then searches for what for he what thinks he thinks of as mystery of as mystery books,books, titles titles 17 17

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he does henot doesrecognize not recognize or authors or authors he hashe never has never heardheard of. Heof. starts He starts by by looking looking for books for books with blank with blank spines.spines.

Reaching Reaching to a higher to a higher shelf that shelfa that shorter a shorter student student mightmight have needed have needed a stepladder a stepladder to access, to access, he pulls he down pulls down a clotha clothcovered, covered, wine-colored wine-colored volume. volume.

Both spine Both spine and cover and cover are blank, are blank, so Zachary so Zachary opensopens the book the book to theto title thepage. title page.

Sweet Sweet Sorrows Sorrows He turns He the turns page theto page seeto if there see if there is another is another that lists thatthe lists author the author but but it moves it moves directly directly into the into text. theHe text. flips Heto flips theto back the and backthere and there are noare no acknowledgments acknowledgments or author’s or author’s notes,notes, just a just barcode a barcode stickersticker attached attached to theto inside the inside of theof back thecover. back cover.

He returns He returns to theto beginning the beginning and finds and finds no copyright, no copyright, no dates, no dates, no information no information aboutabout printing printing numbers. numbers.

It is clearly It is clearly quite quite old and oldZachary and Zachary does not doesknow not know much much aboutabout the the history history of publishing of publishing or bookbinding, or bookbinding, if suchifinformation such information is possibly is possibly not included not included in books in books of a certain of a certain age. He age.finds He the findslack theoflack author of author perplexing. perplexing.

Perhaps Perhaps a pagea has pagegone has missing, gone missing, or it was or itmisprinted. was misprinted.

He flips Hethrough flips through the text theand textnotices and notices that there that there are pages are pages missing, missing, vacancies vacancies and torn and edges torn edges scattered scattered throughout throughout though though none none wherewhere the front the matter front matter shouldshould be. be.

Zachary Zachary reads reads the first thepage, first and page,then andanother then another and another. and another.

Then Then the lightbulb the lightbulb aboveabove his head his that headhas thatbeen has illuminating been illuminating the the U–Z section U–Z section blinksblinks and darkens. and darkens.

Zachary Zachary reluctantly reluctantly closescloses the book the and bookplaces and places it on top it on oftop Theof LitThe Little Stranger. tle Stranger.

He tucks He tucks both books both books securely securely underunder his arm hisand armreturns and returns to theto light theof light theof atrium. the atrium.

The student The student librarian librarian at theat front the front desk, desk, her hair herup hair in aupbun in askewbun skewered by ered a ballpoint by a ballpoint pen, encounters pen, encounters some some difficulty difficulty with the with mysterithe mysterious volume. ous volume.

It scans It scans improperly improperly first, and first,then and as then some as some other other book book entirely. entirely.

“I think “I think it has itthe haswrong the wrong barcode,” barcode,” she says. she She says.taps Sheattaps heratkeyher keyboard,board, squinting squinting at theatmonitor. the monitor.

“Do you “Dorecognize you recognize this one?” this one?” she she asks, handing asks, handing the book the book to thetoother the other librarian librarian at theatdesk, the desk, a middlea middleaged man aged in man a covetable in a covetable green green sweater. sweater.

He flips He through flips through the front the front pages,pages, frowning. frowning.

“No author, “No author, that’s that’s a new aone. newWhere one. Where was itwas shelved?” it shelved?”

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“In fiction, “In fiction, somewhere somewhere in thein Ws,” the Zachary Ws,” Zachary answers. answers.

“Check “Check underunder Anonymous, Anonymous, maybe,” maybe,” the greenthe greensweatered sweatered librarian librarian suggests, suggests, handing handing back the back book the and book turning and turning his attention his attention to another to another patron. patron.

The other The other librarian librarian taps the tapskeyboard the keyboard again again and shakes and shakes her head. her head.

“Still can’t “Stillfind can’tit,” find sheit,” tells sheZachary. tells Zachary.

“So weird.”

“So weird.”

“If it’s“If a problem it’s a problem . . .” Zachary . . .” Zachary starts,starts, though though he trails he off, trails hoping off, hoping that she’ll that she’ll just let just him lettake him it. take Heit.feels He oddly feels oddly possessive possessive aboutabout the the book already. book already.

“Not a“Not problem, a problem, I’ll mark I’ll mark it down it down in your infile,” yourshe file,” says. sheShe says.types She types something something into the into computer the computer and scans and the scans barcode the barcode again.again.

She pushes She pushes the authorless the authorless book book and The andLittle The Little Stranger Stranger acrossacross the desk the toward desk toward him along him along with his with student his student ID. “Happy ID. “Happy reading!” reading!” she says shecheerfully says cheerfully beforebefore turning turning back to back theto book the she book had shebeen had reading been reading when when Zachary Zachary approached approached the desk. the Something desk. Something

by Raymond

by Raymond Chandler, Chandler, but hebut canhe cannot see not the seetitle. the The title.librarians The librarians alwaysalways seem seem more more enthusiastic enthusiastic dur- during J-term, ing J-term, when when they can they spend can spend more more time with timebooks with books and less andwith less with frazzled frazzled students students and irate andfaculty. irate faculty.

During During the frigid the frigid walk back walkto back his to dorm his dorm Zachary Zachary is preoccupied is preoccupied by by both the both book the itself, book itself, itching itching to continue to continue reading, reading, and wondering and wondering why why it wasitnot was innot thein library the library system. system.

He hasHe encountered has encountered minorminor problems problems with such withthings such things before, before, havinghaving checked checked out a great out a number great number of books. of books.

Sometimes Sometimes the scanner the scanner will not willbenot able beto able read toaread barcode a barcode but then but then the librarian the librarian can type canthe type number the number in manually. in manually.

He wonders He wonders how they how they managed managed in thein time thebefore time before the scanner, the scanner, with cards with in cards catalogues in catalogues and and little pockets little pockets with signatures with signatures in thein backs the backs of books. of books.

It would It would be nice be nice to signtohis sign name his name ratherrather than being than being a number a number in a system. in a system.

Zachary’s Zachary’s dorm dorm is a brick is a brick building building tuckedtucked amongst amongst the crumbling the crumbling clustercluster of graduate of graduate residences residences and covered and covered in dead, in dead, snow-snowdusteddusted ivy. ivy.

He climbs He climbs the many the many stairs stairs to his to fourthhis fourthfloor room, floor room, tuckedtucked into the into the eaves eaves of theof building, the building, with slanted with slanted walls and wallsdrafty and drafty windows. windows.

He has He has covered covered most of most it with of it blankets with blankets and has anda contraband has a contraband space space heaterheater for the forwinter. the winter.

Tapestries Tapestries sent from sent his from mother his mother drape drape the walls the and walls and make make the room the room admittedly admittedly cozier,cozier, partially partially because because he cannot he cannot seem seem to getto the get sage thesmell sage smell out noout matter no matter how many how many times times he washes he washes them.them.

The MFA The MFA candidate candidate next door nextcalls dooritcalls a cave, it a though cave, though it is more it is more like a like a den, ifden, densifhad densMagritte had Magritte posters posters and four anddifferent four different gaming gaming systems. systems.

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His flatHis screen flat-screen TV stares TV stares out from out the from wall, theblack wall, black and mirrorlike. and mirrorlike.

He He shouldshould throwthrow a tapestry a tapestry over it. over it.

Zachary Zachary puts his puts books his books on hison desk his and deskhis and boots his boots and coat andin coat thein the closetcloset beforebefore heading heading down down the hall thetohall thetokitchenette the kitchenette to make to make a a cup ofcup cocoa. of cocoa.

Waiting Waiting for thefor electric the electric kettlekettle to boiltoheboil wishes he wishes he hadhe had brought brought the winethe colored wine-colored book book with him, withbut him,hebut is trying he is trying to make to make a a point point of notof having not having his nose hisconstantly nose constantly in a book. in a book.

It is anItattempt is an attempt to to appearappear friendlier friendlier that he’s thatnot he’s certain not certain is working is working yet. yet.

Back Back in his in den hiswith den the withcocoa the cocoa he settles he settles into the intobeanbag the beanbag chair chair bequeathed bequeathed to himtobyhim a departing by a departing student student the year thebefore. year before.

It is a It garis a garish neon ish green neon green in its natural in its natural state, state, but Zachary but Zachary draped draped it withitawith tapesa tapestry that trywas thattoo was heavy too heavy to hang to on hang theon wall, thecamouflaging wall, camouflaging it in shades it in shades of brown of brown and grey andand greyviolet. and violet.

He aims Hethe aims space the space heaterheater at his at legs hisand legs and opensopens Sweet Sweet Sorrows Sorrows back to back theto page thethe page unreliable the unreliable librarylibrary lightbulb lightbulb had stranded had stranded him on him andonbegins and begins to read. to read.

After After a few apages few pages the story the shifts, story shifts, and Zachary and Zachary cannot cannot tell if tell it isifa it is a novel novel or a shortor a shortstory collection story collection or perhaps or perhaps a storya within story within a story.a story.

He He wonders wonders if it will if itreturn will return and loop andback loop to back thetoprevious the previous part. Then part. Then it it changes changes again.again.

Zachary Zachary Ezra Rawlins’s Ezra Rawlins’s handshands begin begin to shake. to shake.

Because Because while while the first thepart firstof part theofbook the book is a somewhat is a somewhat romantic romantic bit about bit about a pirate, a pirate, and the andsecond the second involves involves a ceremony a ceremony with an with acoan acolyte inlyte a strange in a strange underground underground library,library, the third the part thirdispart something is something else else entirely. entirely.

The third The part thirdispart about is about him. him.

The boy The is the boyson is the of the son fortuneof the fortuneteller. teller.

A coincidence, A coincidence, he thinks, he thinks, but asbut he as continues he continues reading reading the details the details are too areperfect too perfect to be to fiction. be fiction.

Sage may Sage permeate may permeate the shoelaces the shoelaces of of many many sons of sons fortuneof fortunetellerstellers but hebut doubts he doubts that they thatalso theytook alsoshorttook shortcuts through cuts through alleyways alleyways on their on routes their routes homehome from school. from school.

WhenWhen he reaches he reaches the part theabout part about the door thehe door puts hethe puts book the down. book down.

He feels Helightfeelsheaded. light-headed.

He stands He stands up, worried up, worried he might he might pass out pass and out and thinking thinking he might he might open the open window the window and instead and instead he kicks he over kickshis over for-his forgottengotten mug ofmug cocoa. of cocoa.

Automatically, Automatically, Zachary Zachary walks walks down down the hall thetohall thetokitchenette the kitchenette to to get paper get paper towels. towels.

He mops He mops up theup cocoa the cocoa and goes andback goes to back theto kitchthe kitch20 20

t h e stth ae r lsetsasr sleeas s s e a

enetteenette to throw to throw away the awaysopping the sopping towels. towels.

He rinses He rinses his mug hisin mug thein the sink. The sink.mug Thehas mug a chip has ahe chip is not he is certain not certain was there was there before. before.

Laughter Laughter echoesechoes up theup stairwell, the stairwell, far away far and awayhollow. and hollow.

Zachary Zachary returns returns to his to room his room and confronts and confronts the book the again, book again, staringstaring at it asatititrests as itnonchalantly rests nonchalantly on theon beanbag the beanbag chair. chair.

He locks He his locks door, his something door, something he rarely he rarely does. does.

He picks He picks up theup book the and bookinspects and inspects it more it thoroughly more thoroughly than he than hadhe had before. before.

The top Thecorner top corner of theofcover the cover is dented, is dented, the cloth the cloth starting starting to to fray. Tiny fray.flecks Tiny flecks of goldofdot gold the dot spine. the spine.

Zachary Zachary takes atakes deepabreath deep breath and opens and opens the book the again. book again.

He turns He to turns to the page thewhere page where he lefthe offleft andoff forces and forces himself himself to readtothe read words the words as theyas they unfoldunfold precisely precisely the way theheway expects he expects them them to. to.

His memory His memory fills infills thein details the details left offleft theoff page: the page: the way thethe way whitethe whitewash wash reached reached halfway halfway up theupwall theand wallthen and the thenbricks the bricks turnedturned red red again,again, the dumpsters the dumpsters at theatother the other end ofend theofalley, the the alley,weight the weight of his of his schoolbookschoolbookstuffedstuffed backpack backpack on hison shoulder. his shoulder.

He has Heremembered has remembered that day thata day thousand a thousand times times but this buttime this ittime is it is different. different.

This time Thishis time memory his memory is guided is guided along along by theby words the words on theon the page and pageitand is clear it isand clearvibrant. and vibrant.

As though As though the moment the moment only just onlyhapjust happenedpened and isand not is more not than moreathan decade a decade in thein past. the past.

He can Hepicture can picture the door the perfectly. door perfectly.

The precision The precision of theof paint. the paint.

The The trompe trompe l’oeil effect l’oeil effect he couldn’t he couldn’t name name at theattime. the time.

The bee Thewith bee its with its delicate delicate gold stripes. gold stripes.

The sword The sword pointed pointed upright upright toward toward the key. the key.

But asBut Zachary as Zachary continues continues reading reading there there is more is more than what than what his his memory memory contains. contains.

He had Hethought had thought there there could could be no be stranger no stranger feelingfeeling than stumbling than stumbling acrossacross a booka that booknarrates that narrates a long-aago longincident ago incident from his from own hislife own that life that was never was never relayed relayed to anyone, to anyone, never never spoken spoken aboutabout or written or written down down but but nevertheless nevertheless is unfolding is unfolding in typeset in typeset prose,prose, but hebut washewrong. was wrong.

It is stranger It is stranger still tostill have to that havenarration that narration confirm confirm long-held long-suspiheld suspicions cions that inthat thatinmoment, that moment, in thatinalleyway that alleyway facingfacing that door that he door washe was given given something something extraordinary extraordinary and heand lethe theletopportunity the opportunity slip from slip from his fingers. his fingers.

A boy A at boy the beginning at the beginning of a story of ahas story no has waynoofway knowing of knowing that the that story thehas story has begun.begun.

Zachary Zachary reaches reaches the end theofend theofpage the and pageturns and turns it, expecting it, expecting his his 21 21

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story to story continue to continue but it but doesitnot. doesThe not.narrative The narrative shifts shifts entirely entirely again,again, to something to something aboutabout a dollhouse. a dollhouse.

He flips Hethrough flips through the rest the ofrest theof book, the book, scanning scanning the pages the pages for mentions for mentions of theofson theofson theoffortunethe fortuneteller teller or or painted painted doors doors but finds but nothing. finds nothing.

He goes He back goes and backrereads and rereads the pages the pages aboutabout the boy. theAbout boy. About him. him.

AboutAbout the place the he place didhe not didfind notbehind find behind the door, the whatever door, whatever a Starless a Starless Sea is Sea supposed is supposed to be. to His be. hands His hands have stopped have stopped shaking shaking but hebut is lighthe is lightheaded headed and hot, andhehot, remembers he remembers now that nowhe that never he never opened opened the window the window but hebut cannot he cannot stop reading. stop reading.

He pushes He pushes his eyeglasses his eyeglasses farther farther up theup the bridgebridge of his of nose hisso nose he can so he focus can focus better.better.

He doesn’t He doesn’t understand. understand.

Not only Not how only someone how someone could could have caphave captured tured the scene the scene in such indetail such detail but how butithow is here it isin here a book in a that booklooks that looks much much older older than he than is. he Heis. rubs Hethe rubspaper the paper between between his fingers his fingers and itand it feels heavy feels heavy and rough, and rough, yellowing yellowing to near tobrown near brown around around the edges. the edges.

CouldCould someone someone have predicted have predicted him, down him, down to his to shoelaces? his shoelaces?

Does Does that mean that mean the rest theofrest it could of it could be true? be That true? That somewhere somewhere there there are are tongueless tongueless acolytes acolytes in a subterranean in a subterranean library? library?

It doesn’t It doesn’t seem seem fair tofair to him tohim be to thebe solitary the solitary real person real person in a collection in a collection of fictional of fictional characcharacters, though ters, though he supposes he supposes the pirate the pirate and the and girl the could girl could be real. beStill, real.the Still, the very idea veryisidea so ludicrous is so ludicrous that he that laughs he laughs at himself. at himself.

He wonders He wonders if he isif losing he is losing his mind his mind and then and decides then decides that ifthat he isif he is able to able wonder to wonder aboutabout it he it probably he probably isn’t, which isn’t, which isn’t particularly isn’t particularly comforting. comforting.

He looks He looks down down at theat last the two lastwords two words on theon page. the page.

Not yet.

Not yet.

ThoseThose two words two words swim swim through through a thousand a thousand questions questions flooding flooding his his mind.mind.

Then Then one ofone those of those questions questions floats floats to theto surface the surface of his of thoughts, his thoughts, prompted prompted by theby repeated the repeated bee motif bee motif and his and remembered his remembered door. door.

Is this Is book this from book that fromplace? that place?

He inspects He inspects the book the book again,again, pausing pausing at theatbarcode the barcode stuck stuck to theto the back cover. back cover.

Zachary Zachary looks looks closer,closer, and sees andthat seesthe that sticker the sticker is obscuring is obscuring some-something written thing written or printed or printed there.there.

A spotAofspot black of black ink peeks ink peeks out from out the from the bottom bottom of theof sticker. the sticker.

He feels He mildly feels mildly guilty guilty aboutabout pryingprying it off. it The off.barcode The barcode was faulty, was faulty, 22

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anyway, anyway, and likely and likely needsneeds to be replaced. to be replaced.

Not that Nothe that hashe any has intention any intention of returning of returning the book, the book, not now. not He now. peels He peels the sticker the sticker off slowly off slowly and and carefully, carefully, tryingtrying to remove to remove it in one it inpiece one piece and attempting and attempting not tonot rip to rip the paper the paper belowbelow it. It comes it. It comes off easily off easily and heand sticks he sticks it to the it to edge the of edge of his desk hisbefore desk before turning turning back to back what to is what written is written belowbelow it. it.

ThereThere are noare words, no words, only aonly string a string of symbols of symbols that have thatbeen havestamped been stamped or otherwise or otherwise inscribed inscribed onto the onto back the cover, back cover, faded faded and smudged and smudged but but easily easily identifiable. identifiable.

The exposed The exposed dot ofdot inkof is ink the is hilt the ofhilt a sword. of a sword.

AboveAbove it is a key. it is a key.

AboveAbove the key the is key a bee. is a bee.

Zachary Zachary Ezra Rawlins Ezra Rawlins staresstares at theat miniature the miniature versions versions of theof same the same symbols symbols he once he contemplated once contemplated in an in alleyway an alleyway behind behind his mother’s his mother’s store and storewonders and wonders how, exactly, how, exactly, he is supposed he is supposed to continue to continue a storya he story he didn’tdidn’t know know he washein.was in.

23 23

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S W ESEW T ESEOTR R OR WRSO W S SO

Invented Invented life. life.

It began It began as a dollhouse. as a dollhouse.

A miniature A miniature habitat habitat carefully carefully constructed constructed from wood from wood and glue and glue and paint. and paint.

Meticulously Meticulously crafted crafted to re-create to re-create a full-asize fulldwelling size dwelling in in the most the exquisite most exquisite level of level detail. of detail.

WhenWhen it was it built wasitbuilt was it gifted was gifted to to and played and played with by with children, by children, illustrating illustrating daily happenings daily happenings in simin simplifiedplified exaggerations. exaggerations.

ThereThere are dolls. are dolls.

A family A family with awith mother a mother and father and father and son andand son and daughter daughter and small and small dog. They dog. They wear delicate wear delicate cloth cloth replicas replicas of suits of suits and dresses. and dresses.

The dog Thehas dog real hasfur. real fur.

ThereThere is a kitchen is a kitchen and a and parlor a parlor and a and sunroom. a sunroom.

Bedrooms Bedrooms and and stairs and stairs anand attic. an Each attic. room Each room is filled is with filledfurniture with furniture and decorated and decorated with miniature with miniature paintings paintings and minuscule and minuscule vases of vases flowers. of flowers.

The wallThe wallpaperpaper is printed is printed with intricate with intricate patterns. patterns.

The tiny Thebooks tiny books can becan be removed removed from the from shelves. the shelves.

It hasIt a roof has awith roofwooden with wooden shingles shingles each no each bigger no bigger than athan fingera fingernail. Diminutive nail. Diminutive doors doors that close that and closelatch. and latch.

The house The house opensopens with with a lockaand lockkey andand keyexpands, and expands, though though most often most often it is kept it is closed. kept closed.

The doll Thelife doll inside life inside visiblevisible only through only through the windows. the windows.

The dollhouse The dollhouse sits insits a room in a room in thisinHarbor this Harbor on theon Starless the Starless Sea. Sea. The history The history of it isofmissing. it is missing.

The children The children who once who played once played with itwith it long grown long grown and gone. and gone.

The tale Theoftale how ofithow came it came to be to placed be placed in an in an obscure obscure room room in an obscure in an obscure place is place forgotten. is forgotten.

It is not It is remarkable. not remarkable.

WhatWhat is remarkable is remarkable is what is has what evolved has evolved around around it. it.

WhatWhat is a single is a single house,house, after all, after with all, nothing with nothing surrounding surrounding it? it?

Without Without a yarda for yardthe fordog. the Without dog. Without a complaining a complaining neighbor neighbor acrossacross the street, the street, without without a street a street to have to neighbors have neighbors on at on all?at all?

t h e stth ae r lsetsasr sleeas s s e a

Without Without trees and treeshorses and horses and stores. and stores.

Without Without a harbor. a harbor.

A boat.

AA boat. A city across city across the sea. the sea.

All this Allhas thisbuilt has up built around up around it. One it. child’s One child’s invented invented worldworld has has become become another’s, another’s, and another’s, and another’s, and soand on so until on it until is everyone’s it is everyone’s world.world.

Embellished Embellished and expanded and expanded with metal with metal and paper and paper and glue. and glue.

GearsGears and found and found objects objects and clay. and More clay. More houseshouses have been have conbeen constructed. structed.

More More dolls have dollsbeen haveadded. been added.

StacksStacks of books of books arranged arranged by by color serve color serve as landscape. as landscape.

FoldedFoldedpaperpaper birds fly birds overhead. fly overhead.

Hot air Hot air balloons balloons descend descend from above. from above.

ThereThere are mountains are mountains and villages and villages and cities, and cities, castlescastles and dragons and dragons and floating and floating ballrooms. ballrooms.

FarmsFarms with barns with barns and fluffy and fluffy cottoncotton sheep.sheep.

A working A working clock clock of a reincarnated of a reincarnated watchwatch keepskeeps time atop timeaatop tower. a tower.

ThereThere is a park is awith parkawith lake aand lakeducks. and ducks.

A beach A beach with awith lighthouse. a lighthouse.

The world The world cascades cascades around around the room. the room.

ThereThere are paths are paths for visifor visitors totors walk toon, walk toon, access to access the corners. the corners.

ThereThere is the is outline the outline of what of what was once was aonce deska beneath desk beneath the buildings. the buildings.

ThereThere are shelves are shelves on theon the walls that wallsare that now aredistant now distant countries countries acrossacross an ocean an ocean with carefully with carefully rippled rippled blue paper blue paper waves.waves.

It began It began as a dollhouse. as a dollhouse.

Over time, Over it time, has become it has become more than morethat. than that.

A dolltown.

A dolltown.

A dollworld.

A dollworld.

A dolluniverse.

A dolluniverse.

Constantly Constantly expanding. expanding.

Almost Almost everyone everyone who finds who the finds room the room feels compelled feels compelled to addtotoadd to it. To it. leave To the leavecontents the contents of their of pockets their pockets repurposed repurposed as a wall as aorwall or tree ortree temple. or temple.

A thimble A thimble becomes becomes a trasha can. trashUsed can. matchsticks Used matchsticks createcreate a fence. a fence.

LooseLoose buttons buttons transform transform into wheels into wheels or apples or apples or or stars. stars.

They They add houses add houses made made from broken from broken booksbooks or rainstorms or rainstorms con- conjured jured from glass from glitter. glass glitter.

They They move move a figure a figure or a landmark. or a landmark.

They They escortescort the tiny thesheep tiny sheep from one frompasture one pasture to another. to another.

They They reorient reorient the mountains. the mountains.

Some Some visitors visitors play inplay theinroom the room for hours, for hours, creating creating storiesstories and and narratives. narratives.

Others Others look around, look around, adjustadjust a crooked a crooked tree ortree door, or and door, and depart. depart.

Or they Orsimply they simply move move the ducks the ducks around around the lake theand lake are and satare satisfied isfied with that. with that.

Anyone Anyone who enters who enters the room the room affectsaffects it. Leaves it. Leaves an impression an impression upon it upon evenitifeven it isifunintentional. it is unintentional.

Quietly Quietly opening opening the door the lets doora lets a 25 25

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soft draft softrustle draft rustle over the over objects the objects inside.inside.

A treeAmight tree might topple. topple.

A dollA doll mightmight lose itslose hat.itsAn hat. entire An entire building building mightmight crumble. crumble.

An ill-An placed ill-placed step might step might crush crush the hardware the hardware store. store.

A sleeve A sleeve could could catch catch on theontop theoftop a castle, of a castle, sending sending a princess a princess tumbling tumbling to theto the ground ground below.below.

It is a It fragile is a fragile place.place.

Any damage Any damage is usually is usually temporary. temporary.

Someone Someone will come will come along along and provide and provide repairs. repairs.

Restore Restore a fallen a fallen princess princess to hertobattlement. her battlement.

Rebuild Rebuild the hardware the hardware store with storesticks with sticks and cardboard. and cardboard.

CreateCreate new new storiesstories upon the upon old the ones. old ones.

The original The original househouse in theincenter the center changes changes in subtler in subtler ways. ways.

The The furniture furniture movesmoves from from room room to room. to room.

The walls The walls are painted are painted or or papered papered over. The over.mother The mother and father and father dolls spend dolls spend time separately time separately in other in other structures structures with other with other dolls. dolls.

The daughter The daughter and son andleave son leave and return and return and leave and leave again.again.

The dog Thechases dog chases cars and carssheep and sheep and and dares dares to bark toat bark theat dragon. the dragon.

Around Around them,them, the world the world growsgrows ever larger. ever larger.

It sometimes It sometimes takes the takes dolls thequite dolls aquite whilea while to adapt. to adapt.

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z a c h az ra y c heazrrya erzaw r al ri naw s sits l i non s sits theon floor theof floor his of closet his closet with the with door the door

closed, closed, surrounded surrounded by a forest by a forest of hanging of hanging shirts shirts and coats, and coats, his back hisup back up against against wherewhere the door the to door Narnia to Narnia wouldwould be if his be closet if his closet were awere warda wardrobe, having robe, having something something of an existential of an existential crisis.crisis.

He has Heread has Sweet read Sweet Sorrows Sorrows in its in entirety its entirety and read and itread again it again and and thought thought perhaps perhaps he should he should not read notitread a third it a time thirdbut time read butitread a third it a third time anyway time anyway because because he could he could not sleep. not sleep.

He still Hecannot still cannot sleep. sleep.

Now it Now is three it is three a.m. and a.m.Zachary and Zachary is in the is in back the of back his of closet, his closet, a ver- a version ofsion his of favorite his favorite reading reading spot when spot when he washe a child. was a child.

A comfort A comfort he hashe has not returned not returned to in years to in and years never and never in thisincloset, this closet, whichwhich is ill-suited is ill-suited for for such sitting. such sitting.

He satHe in sat his in childhood his childhood closetcloset after he after found he found the door, the he door, rememhe remembers that bersnow. thatItnow. wasIt a better was a better closetcloset for sitting. for sitting.

A deeper A deeper one, with one,pilwith pillows he lows hadhedragged had dragged in to make in to make it more it comfortable. more comfortable.

That one Thatdidn’t one didn’t have ahave doorato door Narnia, to Narnia, either,either, he knows he knows because because he checked. he checked.

Only Only the singular the singular section section of Sweet of Sweet Sorrows Sorrows is about is about him, though him, though there are there pages are pages missing. missing.

The text Thecomes text comes back to back theto pirate the pirate and the and girl the girl again but again the but rest the isrest disjointed, is disjointed, it feelsitincomplete. feels incomplete.

MuchMuch of it revolves of it revolves around around an underground an underground library.library.

No, not No,a library, not a library, a booka centric book-centric fan- fantasia that tasiaZachary that Zachary missedmissed his invitation his invitation to because to because he didn’t he didn’t open aopen a painted painted door when door when he washeeleven. was eleven.

Apparently Apparently he went hearound went around looking looking for thefor wrong the wrong imaginary imaginary entry-entryways. ways.

The wineThe colored wine-colored book book rests at rests theatfoot theof foot theofbed. theZachary bed. Zachary will will not admit not admit to himself to himself that he that is hiding he is hiding from it, from in the it, in closet the closet wherewhere it it cannot cannot see him. see him.

e r i n emroi n r gm en or st geernns t e r n

A whole A whole book book and heand hashe nohas idea noeven ideaafter even reading after reading it three it three times times how he how should he should proceed. proceed.

The rest Theofrest theof book the doesn’t book doesn’t feel asfeel tangible as tangible as those as those few pages few pages near near the beginning. the beginning.

Zachary Zachary has always has always had a had complicated a complicated view of view magic of magic because because of his of mother, his mother, but while but while he canhegrasp can grasp herbalism herbalism and divinaand divination the tionthings the things in theinbook the book are very aremuch very much beyond beyond his definition his definition of of real. Magic real. Magic magic.magic.

But if But those if those few pages few pages aboutabout him are him real, arethe real, rest thecould rest could be . . .be . . .

Zachary Zachary puts his putshead his between head between his knees his knees and tries and to tries keep to his keep his breathing breathing steady.steady.

He keeps He keeps wondering wondering who wrote who wrote it. Who it. Who saw him sawinhim thatinalleyway that alleyway with the with door theand doorwhy andthey whywrote they wrote it down. it down.

The opening The opening pages pages implyimply that the that first thestories first stories are nested: are nested: the pirate the pirate tellingtelling the story the about story about the the acolyte, acolyte, the acolyte the acolyte seeingseeing the story the about story about the boy. theHim. boy. Him. But if But he’sifinhe’s a story in a within story within a storya who storyiswho telling is telling it? Someone it? Someone must must have typeset have typeset it anditbound and bound it in a it book. in a book.

Someone Someone somewhere somewhere knowsknows this story. this story.

He wonders He wonders if someone if someone somewhere somewhere knowsknows he’s sitting he’s sitting on theon floor the floor of his of closet. his closet.

Zachary Zachary crawlscrawls out into outhis into room, his room, his legs hisstiff. legsItstiff. is near It isdawn, near dawn, the the light outside light outside his window his window a lighter a lighter shadeshade of dark. of dark.

He decides He decides to take to take a walk. a walk.

He leaves He leaves the book the book on theonbed. the His bed.fingers His fingers start twitching start twitching immediately, immediately, wanting wanting to take toittake withithim withsohim he so canheread canitread again. it again.

He He wrapswraps his scarf his around scarf around his neck. his neck.

Reading Reading a book a book four times four times in onein one day isday perfectly is perfectly normal normal behavior. behavior.

He buttons He buttons his wool his coat. wool Having coat. Having a physical a physical response response to a lack to aoflack book of is book not isunusual. not unusual.

He tugs Hehis tugs knit his knit hat down hat down over his over ears. hisEveryone ears. Everyone spendsspends nightsnights on theon floor the of floor their of their closetcloset duringduring grad school. grad school.

He pulls Heon pulls hison boots. his boots.

Finding Finding an incident an incident from from your childhood your childhood in an in authorless an authorless mystery mystery book book is an everyday is an everyday occurrence. occurrence.

He slips Hehis slips hands his hands into his into gloves. his gloves.

Happens Happens to everyone. to everyone.

He puts Hethe puts book the in book thein pocket the pocket of his of coat. his coat.

Zachary Zachary trudges trudges through through newlynewly fallen fallen snow snow without without a destination a destination in mind. in mind.

He passes He passes the library the library and continues and continues toward toward a hillyastretch hilly stretch of of campus campus near the near undergraduate the undergraduate dorms. dorms.

He could He could adjustadjust his route his route to to pass his pass oldhis dorm old dorm but hebut does henot, doeshenot, always he always finds itfinds strange it strange to look toatlook at a window a window he used heto used look toout look from out the from other the other side. He side. works He works his way his way 28

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through through the crisp theunbroken crisp unbroken snow, snow, crushing crushing the pristine the pristine surface surface underunder his boots. his boots.

He usually He usually enjoysenjoys the winter the winter and the and snow the and snowthe and cold theeven coldwhen even when he can’t he feel can’this feel toes. his There’s toes. There’s a wonder a wonder to it, left to it,over leftfrom over reading from reading aboutabout snow snow in books in books beforebefore he gothetogot experience to experience it for it himself. for himself.

His His first snow first snow was a was laughtera laughterfilled filled night night spent spent in theinfield the outside field outside his his mother’s mother’s farmhouse, farmhouse, making making snowballs snowballs with his with bare hishands bare hands and conand constantlystantly losinglosing his footing his footing in shoes in shoes he discovered he discovered after the afterfact thewere fact were not waterproof. not waterproof.

InsideInside their cashmeretheir cashmerelined gloves, lined gloves, his hands his hands tingletingle thinking thinking aboutabout it. it.

He is always He is always surprised surprised how quiet how the quiet snow the is, snow until is,ituntil melts. it melts.

“Rawlins!”

“Rawlins!” a voicea calls voicefrom calls behind from behind him and himZachary and Zachary turns.turns.

A bun-A bundled figure dled figure with awith striped a striped hat waves hat waves a brightly a brightly mittened mittened hand at hand himat him and heand watches he watches the mismatched the mismatched color move color move over aover fieldaof field white of white as it as it trudges trudges up theup hill the through hill through the snow, the snow, sometimes sometimes hopping hopping in thein foot the foot holes holes he hasheleft. hasWhen left. When the figure the figure is a few is ayards few yards away he away recognizes he recognizes Kat, one Kat,ofone theof few theundergrads few undergrads from his from department his department who has who moved has moved from acquaintance from acquaintance to almostto almostfriend,friend, mostlymostly because because she took sheittook upon it upon herselfherself to getto toget know to know everyone everyone and heand hashe been has Katbeenapproved.

Kat-approved.

She She runs aruns videoa videogame-gamethemed themed cooking cooking blog and blogtends and tends to trytoout tryher out her often often delicious delicious experiments experiments on theonrest theofrest them. of them.

SkyrimSkyriminspired inspired sweetsweet rolls and rollsclassic and classic BioShock BioShock cream-creamfilled filled cakes cakes and maraschino and maraschino truffletruffle odes to odes Pac-to Man Pac-cherries.

Man cherries.

Zachary Zachary suspects suspects she doesn’t she doesn’t sleep sleep and she and has she a tendency has a tendency to appear to appear out ofout thinofair thin to air suggest to suggest cocktails cocktails or dancing or dancing or some or some other other excuseexcuse to coerce to coerce him out himofout his of room, his room, and and while while Zachary Zachary has never has never articulated articulated the fact thethat facthe that is grateful he is grateful to have to have someone someone like her likeinher his in otherwise his otherwise highlyhighly introverted introverted lifestyle lifestyle he is he is prettypretty sure she sure already she already knows. knows.

“Hey, “Hey, Kat,” Kat,” Zachary Zachary says when says when she reaches she reaches him, hoping him, hoping he won’t he won’t appearappear as off-as kilter off-kilter as he feels. as he “What feels. “What bringsbrings you out you soout early?” so early?”

Kat sighs Kat and sighsrolls andher rollseyes. her The eyes.sigh Thedrifts sigh drifts away as away a cloud as a cloud in thein the frigid frigid air. air.

“God-“Godawful awful early is early the isonly thehour only Ihour can Iget can labget time lab for time as-for of-yet as-of-yet unofficial unofficial projects, projects, how ’bout how ’bout you?” you?”

Kat shifts Kat shifts her bag heronbag heronshoulher shoulder and dernearly and nearly loses her losesbalance, her balance, Zachary Zachary puts aputs handa out handtoout steady to steady her but her she but recovers she recovers on heron own. her own.

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“Couldn’t “Couldn’t sleep,”sleep,” Zachary Zachary answers, answers, whichwhich is trueisenough. true enough.

“Are you “Are you still working still working on that onscentthat scentbasedbased project?” project?”

“I am!”

“IKat’s am!” cheeks Kat’s cheeks betraybetray the smile the smile hidden hidden by herby scarf. her scarf.

“I think “I think it’s theit’s key the tokey immersive to immersive experience, experience, virtualvirtual realityreality isn’t allisn’t that allreal thatif real if it doesn’t it doesn’t smell smell like anything. like anything.

I can’tIfigure can’t figure out how outto how getto it get to work it to work for in-for home in-home use yetuse but yet my but sitemyspecific site-specific stuff isstuff going is going well. I’m well.probI’m probably going ably going to need tobeta needtesters beta testers in thein spring the spring if you’d if be you’d willing.” be willing.”

“If spring “If spring ever shows ever shows up, I’m up,game.”

I’m game.”

Kat’s Kat’s projects projects are legendary are legendary throughout throughout the department, the department, elaborate elaborate interactive interactive installations, installations, and and alwaysalways memorable memorable regardless regardless of how of successful how successful she deems she deems them.them.

They make They make Zachary’s Zachary’s work feel work overly feel overly cerebral cerebral and sedentary and sedentary by comby comparison, parison, especially especially since so since much so much of his of own hiswork own is work analyzing is analyzing work work already already done by done others. by others.

“Excellent!”

“Excellent!”

Kat says.

Kat “I’ll says.put “I’llyou putonyou myon list. myAnd list.I’m Andglad I’mIglad ran I ran into you, intoare you, you arebusy youtonight?” busy tonight?”

“Not really,” “Not really,” Zachary Zachary says, having says, having not thought not thought aboutabout the fact thethat fact that the day thewould day would go on,go that on,the that campus the campus wouldwould continue continue in its routines in its routines and heand is the he is only theone onlywho onehas who had hashis had universe his universe turnedturned askew.askew.

“Could “Could you help youme help run me my run J-term my J-class?” term class?”

Kat asks.

Kat“Seven asks. “Seven to eight to eight thirtythirty or so?”or so?”

“Your“Your HarryHarry PotterPotter knitting knitting class? class?

I’m not I’m a very not agood very knitter.” good knitter.”

“No, that’s “No, that’s on Tuesdays, on Tuesdays, this one thisisone a salonis a salonstyle discussion style discussion calledcalled Innovation Innovation in Storytelling in Storytelling and this andweek’s this week’s topic is topic gaming. is gaming.

I’m trying I’m trying to have toahave guesta coguest moderator co-moderator for each forclass eachand class Noriko and Noriko was supposed was supposed to do to this doone thisbut oneshe butbailed she bailed on meon tome go to skiing. go skiing.

It’ll beIt’ll super be super chill, chill, no lecturing no lecturing or anything or anything you need you to need prepare, to prepare, just babbling just babbling aboutabout gaming gaming in a relaxed in a relaxed yet intellectual yet intellectual setting. setting.

I know I know that’s that’s your jam, your jam, Rawlins.

Rawlins.

Please?”

Please?”

The impulse The impulse to sayto nosay that noZachary that Zachary has forhas pretty for pretty much much anything anything that involves that involves talking talking to people to people arises arises automatically, automatically, but asbut Katas bounces Kat bounces on heronheels her to heels keep to warm keep warm and heand considers he considers the proposal, the proposal, it sounds it sounds like a like gooda way goodtoway getto out getofout his of head his and headaway and from away the frombook the book for a for a little while. little while.

This isThis what is Kat whatdoes, Kat after does,all. after It is all.good It is to good have toahave Kat.a Kat. “Sure,“Sure, why not,” why he not,” says. heKat says.whoops.

Kat whoops.

The whoop The whoop echoesechoes over the over the snow-snowcovered covered lawn, lawn, prompting prompting a pairaofpair disgruntled of disgruntled crowscrows to abanto abandon their don perch their perch in a nearby in a nearby tree. tree.

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“You’re “You’re awesome,” awesome,” Kat says.

Kat “I’ll says.knit “I’llyou knita you Ravenclaw a Ravenclaw scarf as scarf a as a thank-thankyou.” you.”

“How“How did you didknow— you know— ” ” “Please, “Please, you’reyou’re so obviously so obviously Ravenclaw.

Ravenclaw.

See you See tonight, you tonight, we meet we in meet in the lounge the lounge in Scott in Scott Hall, the Hall, one theinone thein back theon back theon right. the right.

I’ll text I’llyou text you detailsdetails when when my hands my hands thaw. You’re thaw. You’re the best. the I’d best. hugI’dyou hugbut youI think but I think I’d fallI’d down.” fall down.”

“Sentiment “Sentiment appreciated,” appreciated,” Zachary Zachary assures assures her and herhe and considers, he considers, here inhere thein snow, the snow, askingasking if Katifhas Kat ever hasheard ever heard of something of something calledcalled the the Starless Starless Sea, because Sea, because if anyone if anyone wouldwould have heard have heard of a possibly of a possibly fairy- fairytale, possibly tale, possibly mythical mythical location location it would it would be Kat, be but Kat,articulating but articulating it it aloud aloud wouldwould make make it too itreal tooand realinstead and instead he watches he watches as sheastrudges she trudges off toward off toward the science the science quad quad wherewhere the Emerging the Emerging MediaMedia Center Center is housed, is housed, though though he realizes he realizes she might she might very well verybe well headed be headed to theto the chemistry chemistry labs instead. labs instead.

Zachary Zachary standsstands alone alone in theinsnow, the snow, overlooking overlooking the slowly the slowly waking waking campus. campus.

Yesterday Yesterday it feltitlike feltitlike always it always does, does, like almost like almost not quite not quite home.home.

TodayToday he feels he like feelsanlike impostor. an impostor.

He breathes He breathes in deeply, in deeply, the pinethe pinescented scented air filling air filling his lungs. his lungs.

Two black Two black dots mar dotsthe marpale theblue paleof blue theofcloudless the cloudless sky, the sky,crows the crows that took thatflight took flight moments moments ago inago thein process the process of disappearing of disappearing into the into the distance. distance.

Zachary Zachary Ezra Rawlins Ezra Rawlins commences commences the long thewalk longback walkto back his to room. his room.

Once Once he hashekicked has kicked off hisoffboots his boots and peeled and peeled off hisoffwinter his winter lay- layers, Zachary ers, Zachary takes takes out the outbook. the book.

He turns He turns it overit in over his in hands his hands and and then puts thenitputs down it down on hison desk. his desk.

It doesn’t It doesn’t look like lookanything like anything special, special, like itlike contains it contains an entire an entire world,world, though though the same the could same could be saidbeofsaid anyof any book.book.

Zachary Zachary pulls his pulls curtains his curtains shut and shutisand halfisasleep half asleep beforebefore they settle they settle over the over window, the window, blocking blocking out the out sunthebrightened sun-brightened snowscape snowscape and the and the figurefigure watching watching him from him across from across the street the street in thein shadow the shadow of an unruly of an unruly spruce. spruce.

Zachary Zachary wakeswakes hours hours later when later when his phone his phone chirpschirps a textaalert text at alert at him, the him, vibration the vibration rattling rattling it enough it enough that itthat fallsitoff falls theoff desk theand desk onto and onto the floor, the landing floor, landing softly softly on a discarded on a discarded sock. sock.

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7pm scott 7pm hall scottfirst hallfloor firstlounge— floor lounge— from the from front the entrance front entrance go go past the past stairs the stairs & turn&right turn down right down the hall, theit’s hall, behind it’s behind the french the french doors doors & looks & looks like the like postapocalyptic the postapocalyptic version version of a room of a room wherewhere fancy fancy ladiesladies have tea. havei’lltea. be i’ll there be there early. you’re early. you’re the best. the<3 best. k. <3 k.

The clock The clock on theonphone the phone informs informs him that him itthat is already it is already 5:50 and 5:50 and Scott Scott Hall isHall clear is across clear across campus. campus.

Zachary Zachary yawnsyawns and drags and drags himself himself out ofout bedofand beddown and down the hall thetohall taketoatake shower. a shower.

Standing Standing in theinsteam, the steam, he thinks he thinks he dreamed he dreamed the book the book but the but the relief relief that this thatthought this thought bringsbrings slowlyslowly dissipates dissipates and heand remembers he remembers the truth. the truth.

He scrubs He scrubs his skin hisnear skin raw nearwith raw the withhomemade the homemade almond almond oil and oil and sugar sugar mixture mixture his mother his mother gifts him giftsevery him every winter,winter, this year’s this year’s batch batch is is scented scented with vetiver with vetiver to promote to promote emotional emotional calm. calm.

MaybeMaybe he canhe scrub can scrub off that offboy that standing boy standing in thatinalleyway. that alleyway.

MaybeMaybe the real the Zachary real Zachary is under is under there there somewhere. somewhere.

EveryEvery seven seven years each years cell eachincell your inbody your has bodychanged, has changed, he reminds he reminds himself. himself.

He is He not isthat notboy thatanymore. boy anymore.

He is He twice is twice removed removed from that from that boy. boy.

Zachary Zachary spendsspends so long so in long theinshower the shower that he that hashetohas rush to to rush getto get ready,ready, grabbing grabbing a protein a protein bar when bar when he realizes he realizes he hasn’t he hasn’t eaten eaten all day.all day.

He tosses He tosses a notebook a notebook in his in satchel his satchel and his and hand his hovers hand hovers over Sweet over Sweet Sorrows Sorrows beforebefore grabbing grabbing The Little The Stranger Little Stranger instead. instead.

He is halfway He is halfway out the out door thewhen door when he doubles he doubles back to back putto Sweet put Sweet Sor- Sorrows inrows his in bag his asbag well. as well.

As he As walks he walks toward toward Scott Scott Hall his Hall damp his damp hair freezes hair freezes in curls in that curls that brushbrush crunchily crunchily against against his neck. his neck.

The snow The snow is crisscrossed is crisscrossed with so with so many many boot tracks boot tracks that there that there is hardly is hardly an untouched an untouched patch patch on campus. on campus.

Zachary Zachary passespasses a lopsided a lopsided snowman snowman wearing wearing a real red a real scarf. red A scarf. lineAofline of busts busts of former of former college college presidents presidents is mostly is mostly obscured obscured in snow, in snow, stray stray marble marble eyes and eyesears andpeeking ears peeking out from out beneath from beneath the flakes. the flakes.

Kat’s directions Kat’s directions proveprove helpful helpful once he once arrives he arrives at Scott at Scott Hall, one Hall,ofone of the residences the residences he’s never he’s never been in been before. in before.

He passes He passes the stairs the stairs and a and a small small emptyempty study study room room beforebefore finding finding the hallway the hallway and following and following it it for some for some time until timehe until reaches he reaches a half-aopen half-pair openofpair French of French doors.doors.

He’s not He’ssure not he sure hashethe hasright the right room.room.

A girlAsits girlknitting sits knitting in an in an 32

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armchair armchair while while a couple a couple of other of other students students rearrange rearrange some some of theof the postapocalypticpostapocalypticlooking looking tea-party tea-furniture, party furniture, velvetvelvet chairschairs and settees and settees worn thin wornand thinwounded and wounded by time, by atime, few repaired a few repaired with duct withtape. duct tape.

“Yay, you “Yay,found you found us!” Kat’s us!” Kat’s voice voice comescomes from from behind behind him and himheand he turns turns to findtoher find holding her holding a tray awith trayawith teapot a teapot and several and several stacked stacked tea- teacups. cups.

She looks She looks smaller smaller with her withcoat herand coatstriped and striped hat removed, hat removed, her her buzzedbuzzedshort short hair a hair fuzzya fuzzy shadow shadow covering covering her head. her head.

“I didn’t “I didn’t realizerealize you were youserious were serious aboutabout the tea,” theZachary tea,” Zachary says, helpsays, helping hering move her move the tray thetotray a coffee to a coffee table in table thein middle the middle of theof room. the room.

“I don’t “I jest don’tabout jest about tea. I have tea. IEarl haveGrey Earl and Greypeppermint and peppermint and some and some sort ofsort immunityof immunityboosting boosting thing thing with ginger. with ginger.

And IAnd made I made cookies.” cookies.”

By theBy time thethe time teathe and teathe and multiple the multiple trays of trays cookies of cookies are arranged are arranged the class the has classfiltered has filtered in, about in, about a dozen a dozen students, students, though though it feelsit like feels like more with moreall with theall coats the and coatsscarves and scarves flung over flungthe over backs the backs of chairs of chairs and and couches. couches.

Zachary Zachary settlessettles into aninto ancient an ancient armchair armchair by theby window the window that that Kat directs Kat directs him tohim with toawith cup aofcup EarlofGrey Earl and Greyanand oversize an oversize chocolate chocolate chip cookie. chip cookie.

“Hi everyone,” “Hi everyone,” Kat says, Kat pulling says, pulling the attention the attention in theinroom the room away away from baked from baked goodsgoods and chatter. and chatter.

“Thanks “Thanks for coming. for coming.

I think I think we have we have some newbies some newbies who missed who missed last week, last week, so howsoabout how about we dowe quick do quick introsintros around around the room, the room, starting starting with our withguest our guest moderator.” moderator.”

Kat turns Kat turns and and looks looks at Zachary at Zachary expectantly. expectantly.

“Okay“Okay . . . um. .. .. um . I’m. .Zachary,” . I’m Zachary,” he manages he manages between between chewschews beforebefore swallowing swallowing the rest theofrest his of cookie. his cookie.

“I’m a“I’m seconda secondyear Emerging year Emerging MediaMedia grad student, grad student, I mostly I mostly study study video-videogame game designdesign with awith focus a focus on psyon psychology chology and gender and gender issues.” issues.”

And I And foundI afound bookainbook the library in the library yesterday yesterday that someone that someone wrote wrote my childmy childhood into, hoodhow’ into,s that how’sfor that innovative for innovative storytelling? storytelling? he thinks he thinks but does but not does not say aloud. say aloud.

The introductions The introductions continue continue and Zachary and Zachary retainsretains identifying identifying detailsdetails and areas and areas of interest of interest betterbetter than names. than names.

Several Several are theater are theater majors, majors, including including a girl with a girlimpressive with impressive multicolored multicolored dreadlocks dreadlocks and a and blond a blond boy with boy his with feet hispropped feet propped up onup a guitar on a guitar case. The case.girl Thewith girl catwith eye cat-eye glassesglasses who looks who looks vaguely vaguely familiar familiar is an English is an English major,major, as is the as isgirl the girl who continues who continues to knittobut knit barely but barely glances glances down down at herat work. her work.

The rest The rest are mostly are mostly Emerging Emerging MediaMedia undergrads, undergrads, some some of them of them he recognizes he recognizes 33 33

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(the guy (theinguy thein blue thehoodie, blue hoodie, the girl the with girlthe with tattooed the tattooed vines peeking vines peeking out ofout theof cuffs the of cuffs herof sweater, her sweater, ponytail ponytail guy) but guy)nobut onenoheone knows he knows as as well aswell Kat.as Kat. “And I’m “And Kat I’mHawkins, Kat Hawkins, seniorsenior Emerging Emerging MediaMedia and theater and theater doubledouble majormajor and I and mostly I mostly spendspend my time mytrying time trying to turn togames turn games into theater into theater and theater and theater into games. into games.

And also Andbaking. also baking.

Tonight Tonight we’re we’re going going to dis-to discuss video cuss video gamesgames specifically, specifically, I know I know we have weahave lot ofa lot gamers of gamers here but here but if you’re if you’re not please not please ask if ask youifneed you terminology need terminology clarification clarification or anyor anything thing like that.” like that.”

“How“How are weare defining we defining ‘gamer’?” ‘gamer’?” the guy the inguy thein blue thehoodie blue hoodie asks with asks with enough enough of an of edge an in edge his in voice his voice that Kat’s that Kat’s brightbright expression expression darkens darkens almostalmost imperceptibly. imperceptibly.

“I follow “I follow the Gertrude the Gertrude Stein Stein definition: definition: a gamer a gamer is a gamer is a gamer is a is a gamer,” gamer,” Zachary Zachary jumpsjumps in, adjusting in, adjusting his glasses his glasses and hating and hating himself himself for for the pretentiousness the pretentiousness but hating but hating the guy thewho guyneeds who needs to define to define every-everything thing a littleabit little more. bit more.

“As far“As as how far aswe’re how defining we’re defining ‘game’‘game’ in thisincontext,” this context,” Kat continues, Kat continues, “let’s keep “let’s along keep along the lines theof lines narrative of narrative games,games, role-playing role-playing gamesgames aka aka RPGs,RPGs, etcetera. etcetera.

Everything Everything shouldshould come come back to back story.” to story.”

Kat prompts Kat prompts Zachary Zachary into sharing into sharing some some of his of standard his standard primers primers on on game game narrative, narrative, character character agency, agency, choices, choices, and consequences, and consequences, pointspoints he’s made he’s made in so many in so many paperspapers and projects and projects that it’s that a pleasant it’s a pleasant change change to relate to relate them them to a group to a group that hasn’t that hasn’t heardheard them them all a thousand all a thousand times times before. before.

Kat jumps Kat jumps in hereinand herethere and there and itand doesn’t it doesn’t take long takefor long thefor discusthe discussion to sion take tooff take organically, off organically, questions questions becoming becoming debates debates and points and points volleying volleying between between sips ofsips tea of and teacookie and cookie crumbs. crumbs.

The conversation The conversation veers veers into immersive into immersive theater theater whichwhich was last was last week’sweek’s topic topic and then and back then to back video to video games,games, from the fromcollaborative the collaborative naturenature of massive of massive multiplayer multiplayer back to back singleto singleplayerplayer narratives narratives and virand virtual reality tual reality with awith briefastopover brief stopover on tabletop on tabletop games.games.

Eventually Eventually the question the question of whyofawhy player a player plays aplays storya storybasedbased game game and what and what makesmakes it compelling it compelling comescomes up to up be to examined be examined and disand dismantled. mantled.

“Isn’t “Isn’t that what that anyone what anyone wants,wants, though?” though?” the girl thewith girl the withcatthe eye cat-eye glassesglasses asks inasks response. in response.

“To be“To able betoable make to make your own yourchoices own choices and and 34

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decisions decisions but tobut have to ithave be part it beof part a story? of a story?

You want You that wantnarrative that narrative there there to trust to in, trust even in,ifeven you ifwant you to want maintain to maintain your own yourfree ownwill.” free will.”

“You want “You to want decide to decide wherewhere to go and to gowhat and to what do and to dowhich and which door to door to open but open you butstill youwant still to want wintothe win game,” the game,” ponytail ponytail guy adds. guy adds.

“Even“Even if winning if winning the game the game is justisending just ending the story.” the story.”

“Especially “Especially if a game if a game allowsallows for multiple for multiple possible possible endings,” endings,” Zach-Zachary says, ary touching says, touching on theonsubject the subject of a paper of a paper he’d written he’d written two years two years previously. previously.

“Wanting “Wanting to co-to write co-write the story, the story, not dictate not dictate it yourself, it yourself, so so it’s collaborative.” it’s collaborative.”

“It’ll work “It’ll work in games in games betterbetter than anything,” than anything,” one ofone theofEmerging the Emerging MediaMedia guys muses. guys muses.

“And maybe “And maybe avant-avantgarde garde theater,” theater,” he adds he when adds when one ofone theof theater the theater majorsmajors starts starts to object. to object.

“Choose “Choose Your Own YourAdventure Own Adventure digitaldigital novels?” novels?” the knitting the knitting English English majormajor throws throws out. out.

“No, commit “No, commit to being to being a full-ablown full-blown game game if you’re if you’re going going to go to go through through all thealldecisionthe decisionmaking making optionoption trees, trees, all theallif-the thens,” if-thens,” the the girl with girlthe with vine thetattoos vine tattoos argues, argues, talking talking with her with hands her hands so theso vines the vines help emphasize help emphasize her points. her points.

“Proper “Proper text stories text stories are preexisting are preexisting nar- narrativesratives to fallto into, fall games into, games unfoldunfold as youasgo. you If go.

I get If to I get choose to choose what’swhat’s going going to happen to happen in a story in a Istory wantIto want be atomage. be a mage.

Or at least Or athave leastahave fancya fancy gun.” gun.”

“We’re“We’re veering veering off topic,” off topic,” Kat says.

Kat “Sort says. “Sort of. What of. What makesmakes a storya story compelling? compelling?

Any story.

Any story.

In basic In terms.” basic terms.”

“Change.”

“Change.”

“Mystery.”

“Mystery.”

“High“High stakes.” stakes.”

“Character “Character growth.” growth.”

“Romance,” “Romance,” the guy the inguy thein blue thehoodie blue hoodie chimes chimes in. “What? in. “What?

It’s true,” It’s true,” he adds he when adds when severalseveral raisedraised eyebrows eyebrows turn in turn his in direction. his direction.

“Sexual “Sexual tension, tension, is thatisbetter? that better?

Also true.”

Also true.”

“Obstacles “Obstacles to overcome.” to overcome.”

“Surprises.”

“Surprises.”

“Meaning.”

“Meaning.”

“But who “Butdecides who decides what the what meaning the meaning is?” Zachary is?” Zachary wonders wonders aloud.aloud.

“The reader.

“The reader.

The player.

The player.

The audience.

The audience.

That’sThat’s what you whatbring you bring to it, to it, even ifeven you ifdon’t you make don’t make the choices the choices along along the way, theyou way,decide you decide what it what it 35 35

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meansmeans to you.” to The you.”knitting The knitting girl pauses girl pauses to catch to catch a slipped a slipped stitchstitch and and then continues. then continues.

“A game “A game or a book or a book that has that meaning has meaning to meto might me might be be boringboring to you, toor you, viceorversa. vice versa.

StoriesStories are personal, are personal, you relate you relate or youor you don’t.”don’t.”

“Like “Like I said,Ieveryone said, everyone wantswants to be part to beofpart a story.” of a story.”

“Everyone “Everyone is a part is aofpart a story, of a story, what they whatwant they is want to be is part to beofpart someof something thing worthworth recording. recording.

It’s that It’sfear thatoffear mortality, of mortality, ‘I Was‘IHere Was Here and I and I Mattered’ Mattered’ mind-mindset.” set.”

Zachary’s Zachary’s thoughts thoughts begin begin to wander. to wander.

He feels Heold, feelsnot old, certain not certain if he if he was ever was so ever enthusiastic so enthusiastic as an as underclassman an underclassman and wondering and wondering if he if he seemed seemed as young as young to theto grad thestudents grad students then as then thisasgroup this group seemsseems to himto him now. He now. thinks He thinks back to back theto book the in book his in bag, histurning bag, turning over ideas over about ideas about what it what is toitbe is in to abestory, in a story, wondering wondering why he why hashe spent has spent so much so much of his of his time propelling time propelling narratives narratives forward forward and trying and trying to figure to figure out how outtohow do to do the same the with samethis withone. this one.

“Isn’t “Isn’t it easier it easier to have to words have words on a page on a and pageleave and everything leave everything up to up to the imagination?” the imagination?” another another of theof English the English majorsmajors asks, aasks, girl in a girl a fuzzy in a fuzzy red sweater. red sweater.

“The “The wordswords on theonpage the are pagenever are never easy,” easy,” the girl theingirl theincattheeye cat-eye glassesglasses pointspoints out and outseveral and several peoplepeople nod. nod.

“Simpler, “Simpler, then.”then.”

Red-sweater Red-sweater girl holds girl holds up a pen. up a “I pen. can“Icreate can create a a wholewhole worldworld with this, withitthis, mayitnot may benot innovative be innovative but it’sbut effective.” it’s effective.”

“It is until “It isyou untilrun you out run ofout ink,” ofsomeone ink,” someone retorts. retorts.

Someone Someone else points else points out that out it’s thatnine it’s already nine already and more and more than than one person one person jumpsjumps up, apologizes, up, apologizes, and rushes and rushes off. The off.rest Theofrest them of them continue continue to chat to in chat fractured in fractured groupsgroups and pairs and and pairsa and couple a couple of theof the Emerging Emerging MediaMedia students students hoverhover over Zachary, over Zachary, inquiring inquiring aboutabout class class recommendations recommendations and professors and professors as they asput theythe putroom the room more more or lessor less back in back order. in order.

“That“That was sowas great, so great, thankthank you,” Kat you,”says Katonce saysshe’s oncegotten she’s gotten his attenhis attention again. tion again.

“I owe“Iyou oweone, youand one,I’m and going I’m going to getto started get started on your onscarf your scarf this weekend, this weekend, I promise I promise you’ll you’ll have ithave while it while it’s still it’scold stillenough cold enough to to wear it.” wear it.”

“You don’t “You have don’tto have butto thanks, but thanks, Kat. IKat. had aI good had a time.” good time.”

“Me too.

“MeAnd too.oh, And Elena’s oh, Elena’s waiting waiting in theinhall. theShe hall.wanted She wanted to catch to catch you before you before you left you but left didn’t but didn’t want to want interrupt to interrupt while while you were youtalking were talking to people.” to people.”

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“Oh, okay,” “Oh, okay,” Zachary Zachary says, trying says, trying to remember to remember whichwhich one was one Elena. was Elena.

Kat gives Kathim givesanother him another hug and hug whispers and whispers in his in ear,his “She’s ear, “She’s not trying not trying to pick toyou pickup, you I forewarned up, I forewarned her that heryou thatare you orientationally are orientationally unavailunavailable.” able.”

“Thanks, “Thanks, Kat,” Kat,” Zachary Zachary says, trying says, trying not tonot rolltohisroll eyes hisand eyesknowand knowing she ing probably she probably used that usedexact that exact phrasephrase instead instead of simply of simply sayingsaying that that he’s gay he’s because gay because Kat hates Kat labels. hates labels.

Elena Elena turns turns out toout be the to be one theinone thein catthe eye catglasses, eye glasses, leaning leaning against against the wall theand wallreading and reading a Raymond a Raymond Chandler Chandler novel novel Zachary Zachary can now can now identify identify as TheasLong The Goodbye Long Goodbye and heand realizes he realizes why she whylooks she looks familiar. familiar.

He probably He probably wouldwould have placed have placed her if her if hair herhad hairbeen hadin been a bun. in a bun.

“Hey,”“Hey,” Zachary Zachary says and saysshe andlooks she looks up from up her from book her book with awith dazed a dazed expression expression he’s used he’s to used wearing to wearing himself, himself, the disorientation the disorientation of being of being pulledpulled out ofout oneofworld one world and back andinto backanother. into another.

“Hi,” “Hi,” Elena Elena says, coming says, coming out ofout theoffiction the fiction fog and fogtucking and tucking the the Chandler Chandler in herinbag. her“Ibag. don’t “I don’t know know if youifremember you remember me from me from the the librarylibrary yesterday. yesterday.

You checked You checked out that out weird that weird book book that wouldn’t that wouldn’t scan.”scan.”

“I remember,” “I remember,” Zachary Zachary says. “I says. haven’t “I haven’t read itread yet,”it he yet,” adds, he adds, not not sure why surethe why liethe is necessary. lie is necessary.

“Well “Well after you after left you I got leftcurious,” I got curious,” Elena Elena says. “The says. library’s “The library’s awfully awfully quiet and quietI’ve andbeen I’ve on been a mystery on a mystery kick so kick I decided so I decided to do some to do some inves-investigating.” tigating.”

“Really?”

“Really?”

Zachary Zachary asks, suddenly asks, suddenly interested interested when when beforebefore he had he had been lying beenin lying nervous in nervous apprehension. apprehension.

“Did you “Didfind youanything?” find anything?”

“Not “Not a lot, athe lot,system’s the system’s so barcodeso barcodehappyhappy that ifthat theifcomputer the computer doesn’t doesn’t recognize recognize it it’s hard it it’s to hard digto updig a file, up abut file,I but remembered I remembered that that the book the looked book looked kind of kind oldof soold I went so Idown went down to theto card thearchives, card archives, back back from from when when everything everything was stored was stored in those in those fabulous fabulous wooden wooden cata- catalogues,logues, to seeto if it see was if it there was and there it and wasn’t it wasn’t but I did butmanage I did manage to decipher to decipher how ithow wasitcoded, was coded, there’sthere’s a couple a couple of digits of digits in thein barcode the barcode that indithat indicate when cate when it wasitadded was added to theto system, the system, so I crossso I crossreferenced referenced those.” those.”

“That’s “That’s some some impressive impressive librarian librarian detective detective work.”work.”

“Ha, thank “Ha, thank you. Unfortunately, you. Unfortunately, the only thething only thing it turned it turned up wasupthat was that it wasitpart wasof part a private of a private collection, collection, some some guy died guy and dieda and foundation a foundation distributed distributed his library his library to a bunch to a bunch of different of different schools. schools.

I updated I updated the the files and fileswrote and wrote down down the name, the name, so if you so if want you to want findtoany find ofany theof other the other 37 37

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booksbooks someone someone shouldshould be able betoable print to out print a list outfor a list you. forI’m you. working I’m working most mornings most mornings until classes until classes start up start again up again if you’re if you’re interested.” interested.”

Elena Elena digs around digs around in herin bag herand bagpulls andout pulls a folded out a folded scrap scrap of lined of notebook lined notebook paper.paper.

“Some“Some of them of them shouldshould be in be theinrare thebook rare book room room and not andinnot in circulation, circulation, but whatever. but whatever.

I gaveIitgave a catalogue it a catalogue entry entry so it should so it should scan scan fine whenever fine whenever you return you return it.” it.”

“Thanks,” “Thanks,” Zachary Zachary says assays he takes as he the takes paper the paper from her. from Item her.acquired, Item acquired, a voicea in voice his head in hisremarks. head remarks.

“I’d like “I’d that, likeI’ll that, stop I’llby stop sometime by sometime soon.”soon.”

“Cool,” “Cool,” Elena Elena says. “And says.thanks “And thanks for coming for coming tonight, tonight, that was that a great was a great discussion. discussion.

See you Seearound.” you around.”

She’s gone She’sbefore gone before he canhe say can goodbye. say goodbye.

Zachary Zachary unfolds unfolds the paper. the paper.

ThereThere are two arelines two of lines text, of written text, written in in remarkably remarkably neat handwriting. neat handwriting.

From the From private the private collection collection of J. S.ofKeating, J. S. Keating, donated donated in 1993. in 1993.

A gift A from giftthe from Keating the Keating Foundation.

Foundation.

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SO S W ESEW T ESEOTR R OR WRSO W S

There There are three arepaths. three paths.

This isThis one of is one them. of them.

PaperPaper is fragile, is fragile, even when even when boundbound with string with string in cloth in cloth or leather. or leather.

The majority The majority of theof stories the stories withinwithin the Harbor the Harbor on theon Starless the Starless Sea Sea are captured are captured on paper. on paper.

In books In books or on or scrolls on scrolls or folded or folded into paper into paper birds and birdssuspended and suspended from ceilings. from ceilings.

ThereThere are stories are stories that are that more are fragile more fragile still: For still: every For every tale carved tale carved in rock inthere rock there are more are more inscribed inscribed on autumn on autumn leavesleaves or woven or woven into into spiderwebs. spiderwebs.

ThereThere are stories are stories wrapped wrapped in silkinsosilk their so pages their pages do notdofall nottofall to dust and duststories and stories that have thatalready have already succumbed, succumbed, fragments fragments collected collected and kept andin kept urns. in urns.

They They are fragile are fragile things.things.

Less sturdy Less sturdy than their than cousins their cousins who are who are told aloud told aloud and learned and learned by heart. by heart.

And there And there are always are always those those who would who would watchwatch Alexandria Alexandria burn. burn.

ThereThere alwaysalways have been. have been.

ThereThere alwaysalways will be. will be.

So there So there are always are always guardians. guardians.

ManyMany have given have their givenlives theirinlives service. in service.

ManyMany more have morehad have their had their lives taken lives taken by time bybefore time before they could they could lose them lose them in other in other fashions. fashions.

It is rare It isfor rare a guardian for a guardian not tonot remain to remain a guardian a guardian always. always.

To be To a guardian be a guardian is to beistrusted. to be trusted.

To be To trusted, be trusted, all must allbe must tested. be tested.

Guardian Guardian testingtesting is a long is aand longarduous and arduous process. process.

One cannot One cannot volunteer volunteer to be atoguardian. be a guardian.

Guardians Guardians are chosen. are chosen.

Potential Potential guardians guardians are identified are identified and watched. and watched.

Scrutinized.

Scrutinized.

TheirTheir every every move,move, every every choice, choice, and every and every actionaction is marked is marked by by unseen unseen judges.judges.

The judges The judges do nothing do nothing but observe but observe for months, for months, sometimes sometimes years, years, beforebefore they issue theytheir issue first theirtests. first tests.

The potential The potential guardian guardian will not willbenot aware be aware that they that are theybeing are being tested.tested.

It is critical It is critical to steep to steep the tests the in tests ignorance in ignorance to result to result in in

e r i n emroi n r gm en or st geernns t e r n

uncorrupted uncorrupted responses. responses.

ManyMany tests will testsnever will never be recognized be recognized as as tests, even tests,in even hindsight. in hindsight.

Candidates Candidates for guardianship for guardianship who are whodismissed are dismissed at these at these early early stagesstages will never will never know know that they thatwere they ever wereconsidered. ever considered.

They They will will go about go about their lives theirand livesfind andother find other paths.paths.

Most Most candidates candidates are dismissed are dismissed beforebefore the sixth the test. sixth test.

ManyMany do notdo make not make it pastitthe past twelfth. the twelfth.

The rhythms The rhythms of theoffirst thetest firstare testalways are always the same, the same, whether whether it it occursoccurs withinwithin a Harbor a Harbor or without. or without.

In a large In a public large public librarylibrary a smalla small boy browses boy browses books,books, bidingbiding time time beforebefore he is meant he is meant to meet to up meet with uphis with sister. his sister.

He stands He stands on hison toes his toes to reach to reach volumes volumes shelved shelved aboveabove his head. his head.

He has He long hassince long abansince abandoneddoned the children’s the children’s section section but is but not isyet not tallyet enough tall enough to reach to reach all all of theof other the other shelves. shelves.

A woman A woman with dark witheyes darkand eyesa green and a green scarf—scarf— not a librarian, not a librarian, as far as far as he can as hetell— canhands tell—hands him the himbook the book he hadhebeen had reaching been reaching for and for and he shyly he nods shylyhis nods thanks. his thanks.

She asks Sheifasks he will if he dowill herdo a favor her a in favor return, in return, and when and when he agrees he agrees she requests she requests that he that keep hean keep eyean oneye a book on a for book for her, pointing her, pointing out a thin out avolume thin volume boundbound in brown in brown leather leather sittingsitting on on a nearby a nearby table. table.

The small The small boy agrees boy agrees and the and woman the woman leaves.leaves.

Minutes Minutes pass. The pass. The boy continues boy continues browsing browsing shelves, shelves, alwaysalways keeping keeping the small the small brownbrown book in book sight. in sight.

Several Several more more minutes minutes pass. The pass.boy Theconsiders boy considers looking looking around around for the forwoman. the woman.

He checks He checks his watch. his watch.

Soon Soon he willhehave will to have leave to leave himself. himself.

Then Then a woman a woman walks walks by without by without acknowledging acknowledging him and himpicks and picks up theup book. the book.

This woman This woman has dark has eyes dark and eyeswears and wears a green a green scarf. scarf.

She looks She looks quite quite similarsimilar to thetofirst thewoman first woman but she butis she notisthe notsame the same person. person.

WhenWhen she turns she to turns walk toaway walkwith awaythe with book, the book, the boy the seizes boy seizes up with up with mild panic mild panic and confusion. and confusion.

He asks Heher asks toher stop. toThe stop.woman The woman turns,turns, her face hera face question a question mark.mark.

The boy Thestammers boy stammers that the that book the belongs book belongs to someone to someone else. else.

The new Thewoman new woman smilessmiles and points and points out the out fact thethat factthey thatare they in are a in a librarylibrary and the and books the books belongbelong to everyone. to everyone.

The boy Thealmost boy almost lets her lets leave. her leave.

Now he Now is not he iseven notcertain even certain it is a it is a 40

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different different woman, woman, as thisaswoman this woman is nearly is nearly identical. identical.

He is He going is going to to be latebe if late he waits if he much waits much longer.longer.

It would It would be easier be easier to let the to let book the go. book go.

But the But boy theprotests boy protests again.again.

He explains He explains in tooin many too many wordswords that that he hadhebeen hadasked been asked to watch to watch it for someone. it for someone.

Eventually Eventually the woman the woman relentsrelents and hands and hands the book the book to thetosmall the small flustered flustered boy. boy.

He holds He holds the hardthewon hard-object won object to his to chest. his chest.

He is unaware He is unaware that he that hashe been hastested been tested but hebut is proud he is proud of himself of himself nonetheless. nonetheless.

Two minutes Two minutes later, the later, first thewoman first woman returns. returns.

This time Thishe time recoghe recognizes her. nizesHer her.eyes Herare eyes lighter, are lighter, the pattern the pattern on theon green the green scarf isscarf dis-is distinct, tinct, goldengolden hoopshoops climb climb up herup right her ear right and earnot and her not left. her left.

The woman The woman thanksthanks him for him hisfor service his service when when he hands he hands her the her the thin brown thin brown book.book.

She reaches She reaches into her into bag her and bag pulls andout pulls a wrapped out a wrapped piece piece of candy of candy and puts and aputs finger a finger to hertolips. herHe lips.tucks He tucks it intoithis into his pocket, pocket, understanding understanding such things such things are not are permitted not permitted in thein library. the library.

The woman The woman thanksthanks him again him again and departs and departs with the with book. the book.

The boy The will boy not will benot approached be approached directly directly for another for another seven seven years. years.

ManyMany of theof initial the initial tests are tests similar, are similar, watching watching for care forand care respect and respect and attention and attention to detail. to detail.

Observing Observing how they how react they react to everyday to everyday stress stress or extraordinary or extraordinary emergencies. emergencies.

Weighing Weighing how they howrespond they respond to a disappointment to a disappointment or a lost or cat. a lostSome cat. Some are asked are asked to burn toor burn otheror otherwise destroy wise destroy a book. a book.

(To destroy (To destroy the book, the book, no matter no matter how distastehow distasteful or ful offensive or offensive or badly or badly written, written, is to fail is to the fail test.) the test.)

A single A single failurefailure resultsresults in dismissal. in dismissal.

After After the twelfth the twelfth test, the test,potential the potential guardians guardians will be will made be made awareaware that they that are they being are being considered. considered.

ThoseThose who were who not wereborn not born belowbelow are brought are brought to theto Harbor the Harbor and housed and housed in rooms in rooms no resident no resident ever sees. everThey sees. They study study and are and tested are tested again again in different in different ways. ways.

Tests Tests of psychological of psychological strength strength and willpower. and willpower.

Tests Tests of improvisation of improvisation and imagination. and imagination.

This process This process occursoccurs over the overcourse the course of three of three years. years.

ManyMany are are dismissed. dismissed.

Others Others quit somewhere quit somewhere along along the way. theSome, way. Some, but not but not all, will all,figure will figure out that outperseverance that perseverance is more is more important important now than now than performance. performance.

If theyIfmake they make it to the it to threethe threeyear mark, year mark, they are they given are given an egg.an egg.

They are They released are released from their from training their training and studying. and studying.

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e r i n emroi n r gm en or st geernns t e r n

Now Now they need they only need return only return with the withsame the same egg, unbroken, egg, unbroken, six six months months later. later.

The egg The stage egg is stage the is undoing the undoing of many of many a potential a potential guardian. guardian.

Of those Of those who depart who depart with their with eggs, their perhaps eggs, perhaps half return. half return.

The potential The potential guardian guardian and their and unbroken their unbroken egg are egg brought are brought to to an elder an guardian. elder guardian.

The elder The guardian elder guardian gestures gestures for thefor egg the and eggthe and the potential potential guardian guardian holds holds it aloftiton aloft their on palm. their palm.

The elder The guardian elder guardian reaches reaches out but out instead but instead of taking of taking the offering the offering closescloses the potential the potential guardian’s guardian’s fingersfingers around around the egg. the egg.

The elder The elder guardian guardian then presses then presses down,down, forcing forcing the potential the potential guardian guardian to shatter to shatter the egg. the egg.

All that All remains that remains in theinpotential the potential guardian’s guardian’s handshands is cracked is cracked eggshell eggshell and dust. andA dust. fineAgolden fine golden powder powder that will that never will never completely completely fade from fade their from palm, their palm, it will itshimmer will shimmer even decades even decades later. later.

The elder The elder guardian guardian says nothing says nothing of fragility of fragility or responsibility. or responsibility.

The words The words do notdo need notto need be spoken. to be spoken.

All is understood.

All is understood.

The elder The guardian elder guardian nods their nodsapproval, their approval, and the and potential the potential guard-guardian hasian reached has reached the end theofend their oftraining their training and the and beginning the beginning of their of their initiation. initiation.

A potential A potential guardian, guardian, once they oncehave theypassed have passed the egg the test, eggistest, given is given a tour.a tour.

It commences It commences in familiar in familiar roomsrooms of theofHarbor, the Harbor, starting starting at theat the clock clock in theinHeart the Heart with its with swooping its swooping pendulum pendulum and moving and moving out- outward ward through through the main the main halls, halls, the residents the residents wingswings and reading and reading roomsrooms and down and down into the intowine the cellar wine cellar and the andballroom the ballroom with its with its imposing imposing fireplace, fireplace, taller than tallereven thanthe even tallest the tallest of theof guardians. the guardians.

Then Then they are they shown are shown roomsrooms never never seen by seen anyone by anyone but the but guardthe guardians themselves. ians themselves.

Hidden Hidden roomsrooms and locked and locked roomsrooms and forgotten and forgotten rooms.rooms.

They They go deeper go deeper than any thanresident, any resident, any acolyte. any acolyte.

They They light light their own theircandles. own candles.

They They see what see no what onenoelse onesees. elseThey sees. They see what see what has come has come before. before.

They may Theynot may ask not questions. ask questions.

They may Theysimply may simply observe. observe.

They walk Theythe walk shores the shores of theof Starless the Starless Sea. Sea. WhenWhen the tour thereaches tour reaches its enditsthe end potential the potential guardian guardian is brought is brought to a small to a room small room with awith burning a burning fire and firea single and a single chair. chair.

The guardian The guardian is seated is seated and asked and asked a single a single question. question.

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WouldWould you give youyour givelife your forlife this? for this?

And they Andanswer, they answer, yes oryes no.or no.

ThoseThose who answer who answer yes remain yes remain in thein chair. the chair.

They They are blindfolded, are blindfolded, their hands their hands are bound are bound behind behind their back. their back.

TheirTheir robes robes or shirts or shirts are adjusted are adjusted to expose to expose their chests. their chests.

An unseen An unseen artist with artistawith needle a needle and a pot andof a pot inkof pierces ink pierces their skin, their skin, over and overover andagain. over again.

A sword, A sword, perhaps perhaps three three or four orinches four inches in length, in length, is tattooed is tattooed on on each guardian. each guardian.

Each Each swordsword is unique. is unique.

It hasItbeen has designed been designed for this forguardian this guardian and noand other. no other.

Some Some are simple, are simple, othersothers intricate intricate and ornamented, and ornamented, depicted depicted in elaborate in elaborate detail detail in black in black or sepia or or sepia gold. or gold.

Should Should a potential a potential guardian guardian answeranswer in theinnegative, the negative, the sword the sword that has thatbeen has been designed designed for them for them will be will catalogued be catalogued and never and never inscribed inscribed on skin. on skin.

Few say Few no,say here, no, after here,all after they allhave theyseen. have Very seen.few.

Very few.

ThoseThose who do who aredo also areblindfolded, also blindfolded, their hands their hands boundbound behind behind their backs. their backs.

A long, Asharp long, sharp needleneedle is inserted is inserted quickly, quickly, piercing piercing the heart. the heart.

It is a It relatively is a relatively painless painless death.death.

Here in Here thisinroom this room it is too it is late tootolate choose to choose another another path, not path, after not after what they whathave theyseen. have They seen. are They allowed are allowed to choose to choose not tonot be atoguardbe a guardian, but ian, here, but this here,isthis the is only thealternative. only alternative.

Guardians Guardians are notare identifiable. not identifiable.

They wear Theyno wear robes, no robes, no uniforms. no uniforms.

TheirTheir assignments assignments are rotated. are rotated.

Most Most stay within stay within the Harbor the Harbor but but severalseveral roam the roam surface, the surface, unnoticed unnoticed and unseen. and unseen.

A trace A of trace golden of golden dust upon dust aupon palma means palm means nothing nothing to those to those who do who notdounderstand not understand its significance. its significance.

The sword The sword tattootattoo is easily is easily concealed. concealed.

They may Theynot may seem not to seem be in to servitude be in servitude to anything, to anything, but they butare. they are.

They know They know what they whatserve. they serve.

WhatWhat they protect. they protect.

They understand They understand what they whatare they and arethat andisthat all that is allmatters. that matters.

They They understand understand that what that it what is toit be is to a guardian be a guardian is to be is to prebe prepared pared to die,toalways. die, always.

To be To a guardian be a guardian is to wear is todeath wear death on your onchest. your chest.

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z a c h az ra y c heazrrya erzaw r al ri naw s lisi n standing s is standing in theinhall theand hallstaring and staring at theat the

scrap scrap of notebook of notebook paperpaper when when Kat comes Kat comes out ofout theof lounge the lounge wrapped wrapped in herin winter her winter layers layers again.again.

“Hey, “Hey, you’reyou’re still here!” still here!” she remarks. she remarks.

Zachary Zachary folds the folds piece the piece of paper of paper and puts anditputs in his it in pocket. his pocket.

“Has “Has anyone anyone ever told ever you toldthat you you thathave you stellar have stellar observational observational skills?”skills?” he asks, heand asks,Kat andpunches Kat punches him inhim thein arm. the“I arm. deserved “I deserved that.” that.”

“Lexi “Lexi and I and are going I are going to thetoGryphon the Gryphon for a drink for a drink if youifwant you to want to come,” come,” Kat says, Kat gesturing says, gesturing over her overshoulder her shoulder at theattheater the theater majormajor with the with dreadlocks the dreadlocks who iswho pulling is pulling her coat heron. coat on.

“Sure,”“Sure,” Zachary Zachary says, since says, the sinceoperating the operating hours hours of theoflibrary the library pre- prevent him ventfrom him from investigating investigating the clue theinclue his in pocket his pocket further further and the and the Laughing Laughing Gryphon Gryphon servesserves an excellent an excellent sidecar. sidecar.

The three The three of them of them make make their way theirthrough way through the snow the snow away from away from campus campus and downtown and downtown to thetoshort the short strip of strip bars of and barsrestaurants and restaurants glowing glowing against against the night the night sky, the sky,trees the lining trees lining the sidewalk the sidewalk wearing wearing coats of coats ice of around ice around their branches. their branches.

They They continue continue some some of theof conversation the conversation from from earlier,earlier, whichwhich seguessegues into Kat intoand KatLexi and recapping Lexi recapping the discussion the discussion from from the previthe previous class ous for classZachary, for Zachary, and they and are theydescribing are describing site-specific site-specific theater theater for him forwhen him when they reach they reach the bar. the bar.

“I don’t “I know, don’t know, I’m not I’m big not onbig audience on audience participation,” participation,” Zachary Zachary says says as theyassettle they settle into a into corner a corner table. table.

He hasHe forgotten has forgotten how much how much he likes he likes this bar, thiswith bar, its with dark its wood dark wood and bare andEdison bare Edison bulbs bulbs illuminating illuminating the the space space from mismatched from mismatched antique antique fixtures. fixtures.

“I hate“Iaudience hate audience participation,” participation,” Lexi assures Lexi assures him. “This him. “This is more is more self-directed self-directed stuff, stuff, wherewhere you goyou where go where you want you to want go to andgodecide and decide what to what watch.” to watch.”