9780141363967

Books by Rick Riordan The Percy Jackson series percy jackson and the lightning thief* percy jackson and the sea of monsters* percy jackson and the titan’s curse* percy jackson and the battle of the labyrinth* percy jackson and the last olympian* the demigod files camp half-blood confidential percy jackson and the greek gods percy jackson and the greek heroes The Heroes of Olympus series the lost hero* the son of neptune* the mark of athena the house of hades the blood of olympus the demigod diaries The Kane Chronicles series the red pyramid* the throne of fire* the serpent’s shadow* brooklyn house magician’s manual The Percy Jackson and Kane Chronicles Adventures demigods and magicians: the son of sobek, the staff of serapis & the crown of ptolemy The Magnus Chase series magnus chase and the sword of summer magnus chase and the hammer of thor magnus chase and the ship of the dead hotel valhalla guide to the norse worlds 9 from the nine worlds The Trials of Apollo series the hidden oracle the dark prophecy the burning maze the tyrant’s tomb www.rickriordan.co.uk * Also available as a graphic novel

THE DARK PROPHECY THE DARK PROPHECY

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First published in the USA by Disney•Hyperion, an imprint of Disney Book Group, First published in the USA by Disney•Hyperion, an imprint of Disney Book Group, inby Great Britain by Puffin 2017 First published in theand USA Disney•Hyperion, anBooks imprint of Disney Book Group, inby Great Britain by Puffin 2017 First published in theand USA Disney•Hyperion, anBooks imprint of Disney Book Group, inby Great Britain by Puffin 2017 First published in theand USA Disney•Hyperion, anBooks imprint of Disney Book Group, inby Great Britain by Puffin Books 2017 This edition published 2018 First published in theand USA Disney•Hyperion, an imprint of Disney Book Group, inby Great Britain001 by 001 Puffin 2017 First published in theand USA Disney•Hyperion, anBooks imprint of Disney Book Group, inby Great Britain by 2020 Puffin 2017 First published in theand USA Disney•Hyperion, anBooks imprint of Disney Book Group, Reissued 001 and in Great Britain by 001 Puffin Books 2017 Text ©001 Rick by Riordan, andcopyright in Great Britain Puffin 2017 Books 2017 Text copyright ©001 Rick Riordan, 2017 Text copyright ©001 Rick Riordan, 2017 Text copyright ©001 Rickhas Riordan, 2017 The moral right of the author been asserted Textmoral copyright © Rick Riordan, The right of the author has2017 been asserted Text copyright © Rick Riordan, 2017 The moral right of the author has been asserted Text copyright © Rick Riordan, 2017 The moral right of the author has been asserted This book is set in Danton, Gauthier FY/Fontspring; Text copyright © Rick Riordan, 2017 TheThe Burning Maze extract text copyright © Rick Riordan, 2018 moral right ofinthe author has been asserted This book is set Danton, Gauthier FY/Fontspring; The right of the author has been asserted Goudy Old Style, Goudy, Sabon/Monotype This book ismoral set in Danton, Gauthier FY/Fontspring; The moral right of the author has been asserted Goudy Old Style, Goudy, Sabon/Monotype This book is set in Danton, Gauthier FY/Fontspring; Theismoral right ofbythe author been asserted Joann Hillhas Old Style, Goudy, Sabon/Monotype This Goudy book setDesigned in Danton, Gauthier FY/Fontspring;

by Joann HillFY/Fontspring; Old Style, Goudy, Sabon/Monotype This Goudy book is setDesigned in Danton, Gauthier

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by Joann Hill Style, Goudy, Sabon/Monotype This Goudy bookGreat isOld setDesigned in Danton, Gauthier Printed Britain Clays Ltd, StFY/Fontspring; Ives plc Designed byby Joann Hill GoudyinOld Style, Goudy, Sabon/Monotype Printed inOld Great Britain by Clays Ltd, St Ives plc Designed byClays Joann Hill Style, Goudy, Sabon/Monotype PrintedGoudy in Great Britain Ltd, St Ives plc Designed byby Joann Hill Printed in Great Britain by Clays Ltd, St Ives plc Library Designed by Joann Hill A CIP catalogue record for this book by is available the British Printed in Great Britain Ltd,from St Ives plc A CIP catalogue record for this bookClays is available the plc British Library Printed in Great Britain by Claysfrom Ltd,from St Ives A CIP catalogue record for this book is available the British Library Printed in Greatfor Britain

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by Clays Elcograf S.p.A. Printed in Great Britain by Clays Ltd,Ltd, St Ives A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library hardback A CIP catalogue record this book is available from the British Library isbn: for 978–0–141–36395–0 hardback A CIP catalogue record for isbn this :book is available from the British Library 978–0–141–36395–0 hardback A CIP catalogue record this book is available from the British Library isbn: for 978–0–141–36395–0 hardback isbn : 978–0–141–36395–0 hardbackto: All correspondence isbn: 978–0–141–36395–0 All:hardback correspondence to: 978–0–141–36395–0 hardback Puffin Books to: 6 7 All:isbn correspondence isbn 978–0–141–36395–0 Puffin Books to: All: 978–0–141–36395–0 correspondence isbn Penguin Puffin House Books Children’s AllRandom correspondence to: Penguin Puffin House Books Children’s AllRandom correspondence to: 80 Strand, London WC2R Penguin House Children’s Puffin Books AllRandom correspondence to: 0RL 80 Strand, London WC2R Penguin Random House Children’s Puffin Books All correspondence to: 0RL 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL Penguin Random House Children’s Puffin Books 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL Penguin Random House Children’s Puffin Books 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL Penguin Random House Children’s 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL Penguin Random House Children’s 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL

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To Ursula K. Le Guin, To Ursula K. Le Guin, who taught me that rules change in the Reaches who taught me that rules change in the Reaches

11 Lester(Apollo) (Apollo) Lester Stillhuman; human;thanks thanksfor forasking asking Still Gods,I Ihate hatemy mylife life Gods,

WHEN OUR OUR DRAGON DRAGON declared declared war war on on Indiana, Indiana, I I WHEN knewititwas wasgoing goingtotobe beaabad badday. day. knew We’d been been travelling travelling west west for for six six weeks, weeks, and and Festus Festus We’d hadnever nevershown shownsuch suchhostility hostilitytowards towardsaastate. state.New NewJersey Jersey had he ignored.

Pennsylvania he seemed to enjoy, despite our he ignored. Pennsylvania he seemed to enjoy, despite our battlewith withthe theCyclopes CyclopesofofPittsburgh.

Pittsburgh.Ohio Ohiohe hetolerated, tolerated, battle evenafter afterour ourencounter encounterwith withPotina, Potina,the theRoman Romangoddess goddess even childhooddrinks, drinks,who whopursued pursuedususininthe theform formofofaagiant giant ofofchildhood redpitcher pitcheremblazoned emblazonedwith withaasmiley smileyface. face. red Yet, for for some some reason, reason, Festus Festus decided decided he he did did not not like like Yet, Indiana.

He landed on the cupola of the Indiana Statehouse, Indiana. He landed on the cupola of the Indiana Statehouse, apped his his metallic metallic wings wings and and blew blew aa cone cone ofof fifirere that that flflapped incineratedthe thestate stateflflag agright rightoff offthe theflflagpole. agpole. incinerated ‘Whoa, buddy!’ buddy!’ Leo Leo Valdez Valdez pulled pulled the the dragon’s dragon’s ‘Whoa, reins. ‘We’ve ‘We’ve talked talked about about this. this. No No blowtorching blowtorching public public reins. monuments!’ monuments!’

Behind him him on on the the dragon’s dragon’s spine, spine, Calypso Calypso gripped gripped Behind Festus’s scales for balance.

‘Could we please get the Festus’s scales for balance. ‘Could we please get toto the ground?Gently Gentlythis thistime?’ time?’ ground?

Foraaformerly formerlyimmortal immortalsorceress sorceresswho whoonce oncecontrolled controlled For

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airairspirits, spirits,Calypso Calypsowas wasnot nota afan fanofofflying. flying.Cold Coldwind windblew blew her herchestnut chestnuthair hairinto intomy myface, face,making makingme meblink blinkand andspit. spit.

That’s That’sright, right,dear dearreader. reader.

I,I,the themost mostimportant importantpassenger, passenger,the theyouth youthwho whohad had once oncebeen beenthe theglorious gloriousgod godApollo, Apollo,was wasforced forcedtotositsitininthe the back backofofthe thedragon. dragon.Oh, Oh,the theindignities indignitiesI Ihad hadsuffered sufferedsince since Zeus Zeusstripped strippedme meofofmy mydivine divinepowers! powers!ItItwasn’t wasn’tenough enough that thatI Iwas wasnow nowa asixteen-year-old sixteen-year-oldmortal mortalwith withthe theghastly ghastly alias aliasLester LesterPapadopoulos.

Papadopoulos.ItItwasn’t wasn’tenough enoughthat thatI Ihad hadtoto toil toilupon uponthe theearth earthdoing doing(ugh) (ugh)heroic heroicquests questsuntil untilI Icould could find finda away wayback backinto intomy myfather’s father’sgood goodgraces, graces,ororthat thatI Ihad had a acase caseofofacne acnethat thatsimply simplywould wouldnot notrespond respondtotoover-theover-thecounter counterzitzitmedicine. medicine.Despite Despitemy myNew NewYork YorkState Statejunior junior driver’s driver’slicence, licence,Leo LeoValdez Valdezdidn’t didn’ttrust trustme metotooperate operatehis his aerial aerialbronze bronzesteed! steed!

Festus’s Festus’sclaws clawsscrabbled scrabbledfor fora ahold holdononthe thegreen greencopper copper dome, dome,which whichwas wasmuch muchtoo toosmall smallfor fora adragon dragonhis hissize. size.I I had hada aflashback flashbacktotothe thetime timeI Iinstalled installeda alife-size life-sizestatue statueofof the themuse museCalliope Calliopeononmy mysun sunchariot chariotand andthe theextra extraweight weight ofofthe thehood hoodornament ornamentmade mademe menosedive nosediveinto intoChina Chinaand and create createthe theGobi GobiDesert.

Desert.

Leo Leoglanced glancedback, back,his hisface facestreaked streakedwith withsoot. soot.‘Apollo, ‘Apollo, you yousense senseanything?’ anything?’

‘Why ‘Whyisisititmy myjob jobtotosense sensethings? things?Just Justbecause becauseI Iused usedtoto bebea agod godofofprophecy prophecy–’–’ ‘You’re ‘You’rethe theone onewho’s who’sbeen beenhaving havingvisions,’ visions,’Calypso Calypso reminded remindedme. me.‘You ‘Yousaid saidyour yourfriend friendMeg Megwould wouldbebehere.’ here.’

Just Justhearing hearingMeg’s Meg’sname namegave gaveme mea atwinge twingeofofpain. pain.‘That ‘That doesn’t doesn’tmean meanI Ican canpinpoint pinpointher herlocation locationwith withmy mymind! mind!

Zeus Zeushas hasrevoked revokedmy myaccess accesstotoGPS!’ GPS!’

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‘GPS?’ ‘GPS?’Calypso Calypsoasked. asked.

‘Godly ‘Godlypositioning positioningsystem.’ system.’

‘That’s ‘That’snot nota areal realthing!’ thing!’

‘Guys, ‘Guys,cool coolit.’ it.’Leo Leopatted pattedthe thedragon’s dragon’sneck. neck.‘Apollo, ‘Apollo, just justtry, try,will willyou? you?Does Doesthis thislook looklike likethe thecity cityyou youdreamed dreamed about aboutorornot?’ not?’

I Iscanned scannedthe thehorizon. horizon.

Indiana Indiana was was flat flat country country – – highways highways crisscrossing crisscrossing scrubby scrubbybrown brownplains, plains,shadows shadowsofofwinter winterclouds cloudsfloating floating above aboveurban urbansprawl. sprawl.Around Aroundususrose rosea ameagre meagrecluster clusterofof downtown downtownhigh-rises high-rises– –stacks stacksofofstone stoneand andglass glasslike likelayered layered wedges wedgesofofblack blackand andwhite whiteliquorice. liquorice.(Not (Notthe theyummy yummykind kind ofofliquorice, liquorice,either; either;the thenasty nastyvariety varietythat thatsits sitsfor foraeons aeonsinin your yourstepmother’s stepmother’scandy candybowl bowlononthe thecoffee coffeetable. table.And, And,no, no, Hera, Hera,why whywould wouldI Ibebetalking talkingabout aboutyou?) you?)

After After falling falling toto earth earth inin New New York York City, City, I I found found Indianapolis Indianapolisdesolate desolateand anduninspiring, uninspiring,asasififone oneproper proper New NewYork Yorkneighbourhood neighbourhood– –Midtown, Midtown,perhaps perhaps– –had hadbeen been stretched stretchedout outtotoencompass encompassthe theentire entirearea areaofofManhattan, Manhattan, then thenrelieved relievedofoftwo-thirds two-thirdsofofitsitspopulation populationand andvigorously vigorously power-washed. power-washed.

I Icould couldthink thinkofofnonoreason reasonwhy whyananevil eviltriumvirate triumvirateofof Ancient AncientRoman Romanemperors emperorswould wouldtake takeinterest interestininsuch sucha a location. location.Nor Norcould couldI Iimagine imaginewhy whyMeg MegMcCaffrey McCaffreywould would bebesent senthere heretotocapture captureme. me.Yet Yetmy myvisions visionshad hadbeen beenclear. clear.I I had hadseen seenthis thisskyline. skyline.I Ihad hadheard heardmy myold oldenemy enemyNero Nerogive give orders orderstotoMeg: Meg:Go Gowest. west.Capture CaptureApollo Apollobefore beforehehecan canfind findthe the next nextOracle.

Oracle.IfIfyou youcannot cannotbring bringhim himtotome mealive, alive,kill killhim. him.

The Thetruly trulysad sadthing thingabout aboutthis? this?Meg Megwas wasone oneofofmy my better betterfriends. friends.She Shealso alsohappened happenedtotobebemy mydemigod demigodmaster, master,

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thanks thankstotoZeus’s Zeus’stwisted twistedsense senseofofhumour. humour.As Aslong longasasI I remained remainedmortal, mortal,Meg Megcould couldorder orderme metotododoanything, anything,even even kill killmyself myself. . . No. . No.Better Betternot nottotothink thinkofofsuch suchpossibilities. possibilities.

I Ishifted shiftedininmy mymetal metalseat. seat.After Aftersosomany manyweeks weeksofof travel, travel,I Iwas wastired tiredand andsaddle saddlesore. sore.I Iwanted wantedtotofind finda asafe safe place placetotorest. rest.This Thiswas wasnot notsuch sucha acity. city.Something Somethingabout aboutthe the landscape landscapebelow belowmade mademe measasrestless restlessasasFestus.

Festus.

Alas, Alas,I Iwas wassure surethis thiswas waswhere wherewe wewere weremeant meanttoto be. be.Despite Despitethe thedanger, danger,ififI Ihad hada achance chanceofofseeing seeingMeg Meg McCaffrey McCaffreyagain, again,ofofprising prisingher heraway awayfrom fromher hervillainous villainous stepfather’s stepfather’sgrasp, grasp,I Ihad hadtototry. try.

‘This ‘Thisisisthe thespot,’ spot,’I Isaid. said.‘Before ‘Beforethis thisdome domecollapses collapses under underus, us,I Isuggest suggestwe weget gettotothe theground.’ ground.’

Calypso Calypsogrumbled grumbledininancient ancientMinoan, Minoan,‘I‘Ialready alreadysaid said that.’ that.’

‘Well, ‘Well,excuse excuseme, me,sorceress!’ sorceress!’I Ireplied repliedininthe thesame same language. language.‘Perhaps ‘Perhapsififyou youhad hadhelpful helpfulvisions, visions,I’dI’dlisten listentoto you youmore moreoften!’ often!’

Calypso Calypsocalled calledme mea afew fewnames namesthat thatreminded remindedme mehow how colourful colourfulthe theMinoan Minoanlanguage languagehad hadbeen beenbefore beforeititwent went extinct. extinct.

‘Hey, ‘Hey,you youtwo,’ two,’Leo Leosaid. said.‘No ‘Noancient ancientdialects. dialects.Spanish Spanish ororEnglish, English,please. please.Or OrMachine.’

Machine.’

Festus Festuscreaked creakedininagreement. agreement.

‘It’s ‘It’sokay, okay,boy,’ boy,’Leo Leosaid. said.‘I’m ‘I’msure surethey theydidn’t didn’tmean meantoto exclude excludeus. us.Now Nowlet’s let’sflyflydown downtotostreet streetlevel, level,huh?’ huh?’

Festus’s Festus’sruby rubyeyes eyesglowed. glowed.His Hismetal metalteeth teethspun spunlike likedrill drill bits. bits.I Iimagined imaginedhim himthinking, thinking,Illinois Illinoisisissounding soundingpretty prettygood good right rightabout aboutnow. now.

But Butheheflapped flappedhis hiswings wingsand andleaped leapedfrom fromthe thedome. dome.We We

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hurtled hurtleddownward, downward,landing landingininfront frontofofthe thestatehouse statehousewith with enough enoughforce forcetotocrack crackthe thesidewalk. sidewalk.My Myeyeballs eyeballsjiggled jiggledlike like water waterballoons. balloons.

Festus Festuswhipped whippedhis hishead headfrom fromside sidetotoside, side,steam steamcurling curling from fromhis hisnostrils. nostrils.

I Isaw sawnonoimmediate immediatethreats. threats.Cars Carsdrove droveleisurely leisurelydown down West WestWashington WashingtonStreet.

Street.Pedestrians Pedestriansstrolled strolledby: by:a amiddlemiddleaged agedwoman womaninina aflowery flowerydress, dress,a aheavy-set heavy-setpoliceman policeman carrying carryinga apaper papercoffee coffeecup cuplabelled labelledCAFÉ CAFÉPATACHOU PATACHOU , ,a a clean-cut clean-cutman maninina ablue blueseersucker seersuckersuit. suit.

The Theman manininblue bluewaved wavedpolitely politelyasashehepassed. passed.‘Morning.’

‘Morning.’ ‘ ’Sup, ‘ ’Sup,dude,’ dude,’Leo Leocalled. called.

Calypso Calypsotilted tiltedher herhead. head.‘Why ‘Whywas washehesosofriendly? friendly?Does Does hehenot notsee seethat thatwe’re we’resitting sittingatop atopa afifty-ton fifty-tonmetal metaldragon?’ dragon?’

Leo Leogrinned. grinned.‘It’s ‘It’sthe theMist, Mist,babe babe– –messes messeswith withmortal mortal eyes. eyes.Makes Makesmonsters monsterslook looklike likestray straydogs. dogs.Makes Makesswords swords look looklike likeumbrellas. umbrellas.Makes Makesme melook lookeven evenmore morehandsome handsome than thanusual!’ usual!’

Calypso Calypsojabbed jabbedher herthumbs thumbsinto intoLeo’s Leo’skidneys. kidneys.

‘Ow!’ ‘Ow!’hehecomplained. complained.

‘I‘Iknow knowwhat whatthe theMist Mistis,is,Leonidas Leonidas–’–’ ‘Hey, ‘Hey,I Itold toldyou younever nevertotocall callme methat.’ that.’

‘–‘–but butthe theMist Mistmust mustbebevery verystrong stronghere hereififititcan canhide hide a amonster monsterofofFestus’s Festus’ssize sizeatatsuch suchclose closerange. range.Apollo, Apollo,don’t don’t you youfind findthat thata alittle littleodd?’ odd?’

I Istudied studiedthe thepassing passingpedestrians. pedestrians.

True, True,I Ihad hadseen seenplaces placeswhere wherethe theMist Mistwas wasparticularly particularly heavy. heavy.At AtTroy, Troy,the thesky skyabove abovethe thebattlefi battlefi eld eldhad hadbeen beensoso thick thickwith withgods godsyou youcouldn’t couldn’tturn turnyour yourchariot chariotwithout without running runninginto intoanother anotherdeity, deity,yet yetthe theTrojans Trojansand andGreeks Greekssaw saw

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only onlyhints hintsofofour ourpresence. presence.At AtThree ThreeMile MileIsland Islandinin1979, 1979, the themortals mortalssomehow somehowfailed failedtotorealize realizethat thattheir theirpartial partial nuclear nuclearmeltdown meltdownwas wascaused causedbybyananepic epicchainsaw chainsawfight fight between betweenAres Aresand andHephaestus.

Hephaestus.(As (AsI Irecall, recall,Hephaestus Hephaestushad had insulted insultedAres’s Ares’sbell-bottom bell-bottomjeans.) jeans.)

Still, Still,I Idid didnot notthink thinkheavy heavyMist Mistwas wasthe theproblem problemhere. here.

Something Somethingabout aboutthese theselocals localsbothered botheredme. me.Their Theirfaces faces were weretoo tooplacid. placid.Their Theirdazed dazedsmiles smilesreminded remindedme meofofancient ancient Athenians Atheniansjust justbefore beforethe theDionysus DionysusFestival Festival– –everyone everyoneinin a agood goodmood, mood,distracted, distracted,thinking thinkingabout aboutthe thedrunken drunkenriots riots and anddebauchery debaucherytotocome. come.

‘We ‘Weshould shouldget getout outofofthe thepublic publiceye,’ eye,’I Isuggested. suggested.

‘Perhaps ‘Perhaps–’–’ Festus Festusstumbled, stumbled,shaking shakinglike likea awet wetdog. dog.From Frominside insidehis his chest chestcame camea anoise noiselike likea aloose loosebicycle bicyclechain. chain.

‘Aw, ‘Aw,not notagain,’ again,’Leo Leosaid. said.‘Everybody ‘Everybodyoff!’ off!’

Calypso Calypsoand andI Iquickly quicklydismounted. dismounted.

Leo Leoran ranininfront frontofofFestus Festusand andheld heldout outhis hisarms armsinina a classic classic dragon-wrangler’s dragon-wrangler’s stance. stance. ‘Hey, ‘Hey, buddy, buddy, it’s it’s fine! fine!

I’m I’mjust justgoing goingtotoswitch switchyou youoffofffor fora awhile, while,okay? okay?AAlittle little downtime downtimetoto–’–’ Festus Festus projectile-vomited projectile-vomited a a column column ofof flames flames that that engulfed engulfed Leo. Leo. Fortunately, Fortunately, Valdez Valdez was was fireproof. fireproof. His His clothes clotheswere werenot. not.From Fromwhat whatLeo Leohad hadtold toldme, me,hehecould could generally generallyprevent preventhis hisoutfi outfi tstsfrom fromburning burningupupsimply simplybyby con con centrating. centrating.IfIfhehewere werecaught caughtbybysurprise, surprise,however, however,itit didn’t didn’talways alwayswork. work.

When Whenthe theflames flamesdissipated, dissipated,Leo Leostood stoodbefore beforeususwearing wearing nothing nothingbut buthis hisasbestos asbestosboxer boxershorts, shorts,his hismagical magicaltool toolbelt, belt, and anda apair pairofofsmoking, smoking,partially partiallymelted meltedsneakers. sneakers.

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‘Dang ‘Dangit!’ it!’hehecomplained. complained.‘Festus, ‘Festus,it’s it’scold coldout outhere!’ here!’

The Thedragon dragonstumbled. stumbled.Leo Leolunged lungedand andflipped flippedthe thelever lever behind behindthe thedragon’s dragon’sleft leftforeleg. foreleg.Festus Festusbegan begantotocollapse. collapse.

His Hiswings, wings,limbs, limbs,neck neckand andtail tailcontracted contractedinto intohis hisbody, body,his his bronze bronzeplates platesoverlapping overlappingand andfolding foldinginward. inward.InIna amatter matter ofofseconds, seconds,our ourrobotic roboticfriend friendhad hadbeen beenreduced reducedtotoa alarge large bronze bronzesuitcase. suitcase.

That Thatshould shouldhave havebeen beenphysically physicallyimpossible, impossible,ofofcourse, course, but butlike likeany anydecent decentgod, god,demigod demigodororengineer, engineer,Leo LeoValdez Valdez refused refusedtotobebestopped stoppedbybythe thelaws lawsofofphysics. physics.

He Hescowled scowledatathis hisnew newpiece pieceofofluggage. luggage.‘Man ‘Man. .. .. .I I thought thoughtI Ifixed fixedhis hisgyro-capacitor. gyro-capacitor.Guess Guesswe’re we’restuck stuckhere here until untilI Ican canfind finda amachine machineshop.’ shop.’

Calypso Calypsogrimaced. grimaced.Her Herpink pinkski skijacket jacketglistened glistenedwith with condensation condensationfrom fromour ourflight flightthrough throughthe theclouds. clouds.‘And ‘Andifif we wefind findsuch sucha ashop shophow howlong longwill willitittake taketotorepair repairFestus?’

Festus?’

Leo Leoshrugged. shrugged.‘Twelve ‘Twelvehours? hours?Fifteen?’

Fifteen?’He Hepushed pusheda a button buttonononthe theside sideofofthe thesuitcase. suitcase.AAhandle handlepopped poppedup. up.

‘Also, ‘Also,ififwe wesee seea amen’s men’sclothing clothingstore, store,that thatmight mightbebegood.’ good.’

I Iimagined imaginedwalking walkinginto intoa aT.K. T.K.Maxx, Maxx,Leo Leoininboxer boxer shorts shortsand andmelted meltedsneakers, sneakers,rolling rollinga abronze bronzesuitcase suitcasebehind behind him. him.I Idid didnot notrelish relishthe theidea. idea.

Then, Then,from fromthe thedirection directionofofthe thesidewalk, sidewalk,a avoice voicecalled, called, ‘Hello!’

‘Hello!’

The Thewoman womanininthe theflowery flowerydress dresshad hadreturned. returned.At Atleast least she shelooked lookedlike likethe thesame samewoman. woman.Either Eitherthat thatororlots lotsofof ladies ladiesininIndianapolis Indianapoliswore worepurple-and-yellow purple-and-yellowhoneysucklehoneysucklepattern patterndresses dressesand andhad had1950s 1950sbouffant bouffanthairstyles. hairstyles.

She Shesmiled smiledvacantly. vacantly.‘Beautiful ‘Beautifulmorning!’ morning!’

ItItwas wasininfact facta amiserable miserablemorning morning– –cold coldand andcloudy cloudy

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with witha asmell smellofofimpending impendingsnow snow– –but butI Ifelt feltititwould wouldbeberude rude totoignore ignoreher hercompletely. completely.

I Igave gaveher hera alittle littleparade paradewave wave– –the thesort sortofofgesture gestureI I used usedtotogive givemy myworshippers worshipperswhen whenthey theycame cametotogrovel grovelatat my myaltar. altar.ToTome, me,the themessage messagewas wasclear clearenough: enough:I Isee seeyou, you, puny punymortal; mortal;now nowrun runalong. along.The Thegods godsare aretalking. talking.

The Thewoman womandid didnot nottake takethe thehint. hint.She Shestrolled strolledforward forward and andplanted plantedherself herselfininfront frontofofus. us.She Shewasn’t wasn’tparticularly particularly large, large,but butsomething somethingabout abouther herproportions proportionsseemed seemedoff. off.

Her Hershoulders shoulderswere weretoo toowide widefor forher herhead. head.Her Herchest chestand and belly bellyprotruded protrudedinina alumpy lumpymass, mass,asasififshe’d she’dstuffed stuffeda asack sackofof mangos mangosdown downthe thefront frontofofher herdress. dress.With Withher herspindly spindlyarms arms and andlegs, legs,she shereminded remindedme meofofsome somesort sortofofgiant giantbeetle. beetle.IfIf she sheever evertipped tippedover, over,I Idoubted doubtedshe shecould couldeasily easilyget getback backup. up.

‘Oh ‘Ohmy!’ my!’She Shegripped grippedher herpurse pursewith withboth bothhands. hands.‘Aren’t ‘Aren’t you youchildren childrencute!’ cute!’

Her Herlipstick lipstickand andeye eyeshadow shadowwere wereboth botha aviolent violentshade shade ofofpurple. purple.I Iwondered wonderedififshe shewas wasgetting gettingenough enoughoxygen oxygentoto her herbrain. brain.

‘Madam,’ ‘Madam,’I Isaid, said,‘we ‘weare arenot notchildren.’ children.’I Icould couldhave have added addedthat thatI Iwas wasover overfour fourthousand thousandyears yearsold, old,and andCalypso Calypso was waseven evenolder, older,but butI Idecided decidednot nottotoget getinto intothat. that.‘Now, ‘Now,ifif you’ll you’llexcuse excuseus, us,we wehave havea asuitcase suitcasetotorepair repairand andmy myfriend friend isisinindire direneed needofofa apair pairofofjeans.’ jeans.’

I Itried triedtotostep steparound aroundher. her.She Sheblocked blockedmy mypath. path.

‘You ‘Youcan’t can’tgogoyet, yet,dear! dear!We Wehaven’t haven’twelcomed welcomedyou youtoto Indiana!’

Indiana!’From Fromher herpurse, purse,she shedrew drewa asmartphone. smartphone.The The screen screenglowed glowedasasififa acall callwere werealready alreadyininprogress. progress.

‘It’s ‘It’shim, him,allallright,’ right,’she shesaid saidinto intothe thephone. phone.‘Everybody, ‘Everybody, come comeononover. over.Apollo Apolloisishere!’ here!’

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My Mylungs lungsshrivelled shrivelledininmy mychest. chest.

InInthe theold olddays, days,I Iwould wouldhave haveexpected expectedtotobeberecognized recognized asassoon soonasasI Iarrived arrivedinina atown. town.OfOfcourse coursethe thelocals localswould would rush rushtotowelcome welcomeme. me.They Theywould wouldsing singand anddance danceand andthrow throw flowers. flowers.They Theywould wouldimmediately immediatelybegin beginconstructing constructinga anew new temple. temple.

But ButasasLester LesterPapadopoulos PapadopoulosI Idid didnot notwarrant warrantsuch such treatment. treatment.I Ilooked lookednothing nothinglike likemy myformer formerglorious gloriousself. self.

The Theidea ideathat thatthe theIndianans Indianansmight mightrecognize recognizeme medespite despitemy my tangled tangledhair, hair,acne acneand andflab flabwas wasboth bothinsulting insultingand andterrifying. terrifying.

What Whatififthey theyerected erecteda astatue statueofofme meininmy mypresent presentform form– –a a giant giantgolden goldenLester Lesterininthe thecentre centreofoftheir theircity? city?The Theother other gods godswould wouldnever neverletletme mehear hearthe theend endofofit!it!

‘Madam,’ ‘Madam,’I Isaid, said,‘I’m ‘I’mafraid afraidyou youhave havemistaken mistakenme me–’–’ ‘Don’t ‘Don’tbebemodest!’ modest!’The Thewoman womantossed tossedher herphone phoneand and purse purseaside. aside.She Shegrabbed grabbedmy myforearm forearmwith withthe thestrength strengthofof a aweightlifter. weightlifter.‘Our ‘Ourmaster masterwill willbebedelighted delightedtotohave haveyou youinin custody. custody.And Andplease pleasecall callme meNanette.’

Nanette.’

Calypso Calypso charged. charged. Either Either she she wished wished toto defend defend me me (unlikely), (unlikely),ororshe shewas wasnot nota afan fanofofthe thename nameNanette.

Nanette.She She punched punchedthe thewoman womanininthe theface. face.

This Thisbybyitself itselfdid didnot notsurprise surpriseme. me.Having Havinglost losther her immortal immortalpowers, powers,Calypso Calypsowas wasininthe theprocess processofoftrying trying toto master master other other skills. skills. SoSo far, far, she’d she’d failed failed atat swords, swords, polearms, polearms,shurikens, shurikens,whips whipsand andimprovisational improvisationalcomedy. comedy.(I(I sympathized sympathizedwith withher herfrustration.) frustration.)Today, Today,she’d she’ddecided decidedtoto try tryfisticuffs. fisticuffs.

What Whatsurprised surprisedme mewas wasthe theloud loudCRACK CRACKher herfist fistmade made against againstNanette’s Nanette’sface face– –the thesound soundofoffinger fingerbones bonesbreaking. breaking.

‘Ow!’ ‘Ow!’Calypso Calypsostumbled stumbledaway, away,clutching clutchingher herhand. hand.

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Nanette’s Nanette’shead headslid slidbackwards. backwards.She Shereleased releasedme metototry try totograb grabher herown ownface, face,but butititwas wastoo toolate. late.Her Herhead headtoppled toppled offoffher hershoulders. shoulders.ItItclanged clangedagainst againstthe thetarmac tarmacand androlled rolled sideways, sideways,the theeyes eyesstill stillblinking, blinking,the thepurple purplelips lipstwitching. twitching.

ItsItsbase basewas wassmooth smoothstainless stainlesssteel. steel.Attached Attachedtotoititwere were ragged raggedstrips stripsofofduct ducttape tapestuck stuckwith withhair hairand andbobby bobbypins. pins.

‘Holy ‘HolyHephaestus!’

Hephaestus!’Leo Leoran rantotoCalypso’s Calypso’sside. side.‘Lady, ‘Lady,you you broke brokemy mygirlfriend’s girlfriend’shand handwith withyour yourface. face.What Whatare areyou, you,anan automaton?’ automaton?’

‘No, ‘No,dear,’ dear,’said saiddecapitated decapitatedNanette.

Nanette.Her Hermuffl muffl ededvoice voice didn’t didn’tcome comefrom fromthe thestainless-steel stainless-steelhead headononthe thesidewalk. sidewalk.ItIt emanated emanatedfrom fromsomewhere somewhereinside insideher herdress. dress.Just Justabove aboveher her collar, collar,where whereher herneck neckused usedtotobe, be,ananoutcropping outcroppingofoffine fine blonde blondehair hairwas wastangled tangledwith withbobby bobbypins. pins.‘And, ‘And,I Imust mustsay, say, hitting hittingme mewasn’t wasn’tvery verypolite.’ polite.’

Belatedly, Belatedly,I Irealized realizedthe themetal metalhead headhad hadbeen beena adisguise. disguise.

Just Justasassatyrs satyrscovered coveredtheir theirhooves hooveswith withhuman humanshoes, shoes,this this creature creaturepassed passedfor formortal mortalbybypretending pretendingtotohave havea ahuman human face. face.ItsItsvoice voicecame camefrom fromitsitsgut gutarea, area,which whichmeant meant. . . .

My Myknees kneestrembled. trembled.

‘A‘Ablemmyae,’ blemmyae,’I Isaid. said.

Nanette Nanette chuckled. chuckled. Her Her bulging bulging midsection midsection writhed writhed under underthe thehoneysuckle honeysucklecloth. cloth.She Sheripped rippedopen openher herblouse blouse – –something somethinga apolite politeMidwesterner Midwesternerwould wouldnever neverthink thinkofof doing doing– –and andrevealed revealedher hertrue trueface. face.

Where Where a a woman’s woman’s brassiere brassiere would would have have been, been, two two enormous enormousbulging bulgingeyes eyesblinked blinkedatatme. me.From Fromher hersternum sternum protruded protrudeda alarge largeshiny shinynose. nose.Across Acrossher herabdomen abdomencurled curleda a hideous hideousmouth mouth– –glistening glisteningorange orangelips, lips,teeth teethlike likea aspread spread ofofblank blankwhite whiteplaying playingcards. cards.

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‘Yes, ‘Yes,dear,’ dear,’the theface facesaid. said.‘And ‘AndI’m I’marresting arrestingyou youininthe the name nameofofthe theTriumvirate!’

Triumvirate!’

Up Up and and down down Washington Washington Street, Street, pleasant-looking pleasant-looking pedestrians pedestriansturned turnedand andbegan beganmarching marchingininour ourdirection. direction.

12 2 Lester (Apollo) Headless Headless guys guysand andgals gals Still human; thanks for asking Not Notloving lovingthe the Midwest Midwest vibe vibe Gods, I hate lifeghost Oh, Oh,look look – –a amy cheese cheese ghost

WHEN OUR DRAGON declared war why on I GEE, GEE, APOLLO, APOLLO, you youmay maybe bethinking, thinking, whyIndiana, didn’t didn’tyou you knew wasout going tobow be badshoot day. her? simply simplyitpull pull out your your bowaand and shoot her?Or Orcharm charmher herwith witha a We’d been travelling west for six weeks, and Festus song song from fromyour yourcombat combat ukulele? ukulele? hadTrue, never such hostility a state.

True,I shown Ihad hadboth both those those items itemstowards slung slungacross across my myNew back backJersey along along he ignored.

Pennsylvania he seemed to enjoy, despite our with withmy myquiver. quiver.Sadly, Sadly,even eventhe thebest bestdemigod demigodweapons weapons battle with the Cyclopes Pittsburgh. My Ohio he tolerated, require require something something called calledof maintenance. maintenance.

Mychildren children Kayla Kayla even after our encounter with Potina, Roman goddess and andAustin Austin had had explained explained this this totome methe before before I Ileft left Camp Camp ofHalf-Blood. childhoodI drinks, who pursued usbow in the form of aout giant Half-Blood.

Icouldn’t couldn’t just just pull pullmy my bow and and quiver quiver outofof red pitcher withI Iawas smiley face. thin thin airairasasIemblazoned Iused usedtotowhen when was a agod. god.

I Icould couldnonolonger longer Yet, someinto reason, Festus decided heittoto did not like wish wish my myfor ukulele ukulele into my myhands hands and and expect expectit bebeperfectly perfectly Indiana.

He landed on the cupola of the Indiana Statehouse, inintune. tune. flapped his metallic wings and blew a conewere of ficarefully re that My Myweapons weapons and andmy mymusical musical instrument instrument were carefully incinerated state flag right off the flagpole. wrapped wrappedininthe blankets. blankets.

Otherwise Otherwise flying flying through throughthe thewet wet ‘Whoa, buddy!’

Leo pulled the dragon’s winter winter skies skieswould’ve would’vewarped warpedValdez the thebow, bow, ruined ruinedthe thearrows arrows and and reins. talked about this.

No blowtorching public played played‘We’ve Hades Hadeswith withthe the strings strings ofofmy my ukulele. ukulele.

ToToget getthem them out out monuments!’ now nowwould wouldrequire requireseveral severalminutes minutesthat thatI Idid didnot nothave. have.

Behind him on they the dragon’s Calypso Also, Also,I Idoubted doubted theywould woulddodospine, me memuch much good goodgripped against against Festus’s scales for balance.

‘Could we please get to the blemmyae. blemmyae. ground?

Gently thiswith time?’

I Ihadn’t hadn’t dealt dealt with their theirkind kindsince sincethe thetime timeofofJulius Julius For a formerly immortal sorceress who once controlled

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Caesar, Caesar,and andI Iwould’ve would’vebeen beenhappy happytotogogoanother anothertwo two thousand thousandyears yearswithout withoutseeing seeingone. one.

How Howcould coulda agod godofofpoetry poetryand andmusic musicbebeeffective effectiveagainst against a aspecies specieswhose whoseears earswere werewedged wedgedunder undertheir theirarmpits? armpits?Nor Nor did didthe theblemmyae blemmyaefear fearororrespect respectarchery. archery.They Theywere weresturdy sturdy melee meleefighters fighterswith withthick thickskin. skin.They Theywere wereeven evenresistant resistanttoto most mostforms formsofofdisease, disease,which whichmeant meantthey theynever nevercalled calledonon me mefor formedical medicalhelp helpnor norfeared fearedmy myplague plaguearrows. arrows.Worst Worst ofofall, all,they theywere werehumourless humourlessand andunimaginative. unimaginative.They Theyhad had nonointerest interestininthe thefuture, future,sosothey theysaw sawnonouse usefor forOracles Oraclesoror prophecies. prophecies.

InInshort, short,you youcould couldnot notcreate createa arace raceless lesssympathetic sympathetic totoananattractive, attractive,multitalented multitalentedgod godlike likeme. me.(And, (And,believe believe me, me, Ares Ares had had tried. tried. Those Those eighteenth-century eighteenth-century Hessian Hessian mercenaries mercenarieshehecooked cookedup? up?Ugh. Ugh.George GeorgeWashington Washingtonand andI I had hadthe theworst worsttime timewith withthem.) them.)

‘Leo,’ ‘Leo,’I Isaid, said,‘activate ‘activatethe thedragon.’ dragon.’

‘I‘Ijust justput puthim himinto intosleep sleepcycle.’ cycle.’

‘Hurry!’

‘Hurry!’

Leo Leo fumbled fumbled with with the the suitcase’s suitcase’s buttons. buttons. Nothing Nothing happened. happened. ‘I‘I told told you, you, man. man. Even Even ifif Festus Festus weren’t weren’t malfunctioning, malfunctioning,he’s he’sreally reallyhard hardtotowake wakeupuponce oncehe’s he’sasleep.’ asleep.’

Wonderful, Wonderful,I thought.

I thought.Calypso Calypsohunched hunchedover overher herbroken broken hand, hand,muttering mutteringMinoan Minoanobscenities. obscenities.Leo Leoshivered shiveredininhis his underwear. underwear.And AndI I. . . well, . well,I Iwas wasLester.

Lester.On Ontop topofofallallthat, that, instead insteadofoffacing facingour ourenemies enemieswith witha alarge largefirefirebreathing breathing automaton, automaton,we wewould wouldnow nowhave havetotoface facethem themwith witha abarely barely portable portablepiece pieceofofmetal metalluggage. luggage.

I Iwheeled wheeledononthe theblemmyae. blemmyae.‘BEGONE, ‘BEGONE,foul foulNanette!’

Nanette!’

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I Itried triedtotomuster mustermy myold oldgodly godlywrath wrathvoice. voice.‘Lay ‘Layhands handsupon upon my mydivine divineperson personagain againand andyou youshall shallbebeDESTROYED!’ DESTROYED!’ Back Backwhen whenI Iwas wasa agod, god,that thatthreat threatwould wouldhave havebeen been enough enoughtotomake makeentire entirearmies armieswet wettheir theircamoufl camoufl age agepants. pants.

Nanette Nanettejust justblinked blinkedher hercow-brown cow-browneyes. eyes.

‘Don’t ‘Don’tfuss, fuss,now,’ now,’she shesaid. said.Her Herlips lipswere weregrotesquely grotesquely hypnotic, hypnotic,like likewatching watchinga asurgical surgicalincision incisionbeing beingused usedasasa a puppet. puppet.‘Besides, ‘Besides,dearie, dearie,you’re you’renot nota agod godany anymore.’ more.’

Why Whydid didpeople peoplehave havetotokeep keepreminding remindingme meofofthat? that?

More Morelocals localsconverged convergedononour ourposition. position.Two Twopolice policeoffi offi -cers cerstrotted trotteddown downthe thesteps stepsofofthe thestatehouse. statehouse.At Atthe thecorner corner ofofSenate SenateAvenue, Avenue,a atrio trioofofsanitation sanitationworkers workersabandoned abandoned their theirgarbage garbagetruck truckand andlumbered lumberedover overwielding wieldinglarge largemetal metal trash trashcans. cans.From Fromthe theother otherdirection, direction,a ahalf halfdozen dozenmen meninin business businesssuits suitstromped trompedacross acrossthe thestatehouse statehouselawn. lawn.

Leo Leocursed. cursed.‘Is‘Iseverybody everybodyininthis thistown towna ametalhead? metalhead?

And AndI Idon’t don’tmean meanthe thegood goodkind kindofofmetalhead.’ metalhead.’

‘Relax, ‘Relax,sweetie,’ sweetie,’Nanette Nanettesaid. said.‘Surrender ‘Surrenderand andwe wewon’t won’t have havetotohurt hurtyou youmuch. much.That’s That’sthe theemperor’s emperor’sjob!’ job!’

Despite Despiteher herbroken brokenhand, hand,Calypso Calypsoapparently apparentlydidn’t didn’t feel feellike likesurrendering. surrendering.With Witha adefi defi ant antyell yellshe shecharged charged Nanette Nanetteagain, again,this thistime timelaunching launchinga akarate karatekick kicktowards towards the theblemmyae’s blemmyae’sgiant giantnose. nose.

‘Don’t!’

‘Don’t!’I Iblurted blurtedout, out,too toolate. late.

As AsI Imentioned, mentioned,blemmyae blemmyaeare aresturdy sturdybeings. beings.They’re They’re diffi diffi cult culttotohurt hurtand andeven evenmore morediffi diffi cult culttotokill. kill.Calypso’s Calypso’s foot footconnected connectedwith withitsitstarget, target,and andher herankle anklebent bentwith witha a nasty nastypop. pop.She Shecollapsed, collapsed,gurgling gurglingininpain. pain.

‘Cal!’ ‘Cal!’Leo Leoran rantotoher herside. side.‘Back ‘Backoff, off,chest-face!’ chest-face!’

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‘Language, ‘Language,dear,’ dear,’Nanette Nanettechided. chided.‘Now ‘NowI’m I’mafraid afraidI’ll I’ll have havetotostomp stompononyou.’ you.’

She Sheraised raisedone onepatent patentleather leatherpump, pump,but butLeo Leowas wasfaster. faster.

He Hesummoned summoneda aglobe globeofoffire fireand andthrew threwititlike likea abaseball, baseball, hitting hittingNanette Nanetteright rightbetween betweenher herhuge hugechest-level chest-leveleyes. eyes.

Flames Flameswashed washedover overher, her,setting settingher hereyebrows eyebrowsand andflowery flowery dress dressablaze. ablaze.

As AsNanette Nanettescreamed screamedand andstumbled, stumbled,Leo Leoyelled, yelled,‘Apollo, ‘Apollo, help helpme!’ me!’

I Irealized realizedI’dI’dbeen beenstanding standingthere, there,frozen frozenininshock shock– – which whichwould’ve would’vebeen beenfine fineififI’dI’dbeen beenwatching watchingthe thescene scene unfold unfoldfrom fromthe thesafety safetyofofmy mythrone throneononMount MountOlympus.

Olympus.

Alas, Alas,I Iwas wasvery verymuch muchdown downhere hereininthe thetrenches trencheswith withthe the lesser lesserbeings. beings.I Ihelped helpedget getCalypso Calypsototoher herfeet feet(her (herone onegood good foot, foot,atatleast). least).We Weslung slungher herarms armsover overour ourshoulders shoulders(with (with lots lotsofofscreaming screamingfrom fromCalypso Calypsowhen whenI Iaccidentally accidentallygrabbed grabbed her herbroken brokenhand) hand)and andbegan beganhobbling hobblingaway. away.

Thirty Thirtyfeet feetacross acrossthe thelawn, lawn,Leo Leosuddenly suddenlystopped. stopped.‘I‘I forgot forgotFestus!’

Festus!’

‘Leave ‘Leavehim,’ him,’I Isnapped. snapped.

‘What?’

‘What?’

‘We ‘Wecan’t can’tmanage managehim himand andCalypso!

Calypso!We’ll We’llcome comeback back later. later.The Theblemmyae blemmyaemight mightjust justignore ignorehim.’ him.’

‘But ‘Butififthey theyfigure figureout outhow howtotoopen openhim,’ him,’Leo Leofretted, fretted,‘if‘if they theyhurt hurthim him–’–’ ‘MARRRGGGGH!’ ‘MARRRGGGGH!’Behind Behindus, us,Nanette Nanetteripped rippedoffoffthe the shreds shredsofofher herburning burningdress. dress.From Fromthe thewaist waistdown, down,shaggy shaggy blonde blondefur furcovered coveredher herbody, body,not notunlike unlikea asatyr. satyr.Her Hereyebrows eyebrows smouldered, smouldered,but butotherwise otherwiseher herface facelooked lookedunhurt. unhurt.She Shespat spat

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ashes ashesfrom fromher hermouth mouthand andglared glaredininour ourdirection. direction.‘That ‘Thatwas was not notnice! nice!GET GETTHEM!’ THEM!’ The Thebusinessmen businessmenwere werealmost almostonontop topofofus, us,eliminating eliminating any anyhope hopethat thatwe wecould couldmake makeititback backtotoFestus Festuswithout without getting gettingcaught. caught.

We Wechose chosethe theonly onlyheroic heroicoption optionavailable: available:we weran. ran.

I Ihadn’t hadn’tfelt feltsosoencumbered encumberedsince sincemy mythree-legged three-leggeddeath death race racewith withMeg MegMcCaffrey McCaffreyback backatatCamp CampHalf-Blood.

Half-Blood.Calypso Calypso tried triedtotohelp, help,kicking kickingalong alonglike likea apogo pogostick stickbetween betweenLeo Leo and andme, me,but butwhenever whenevershe shejostled jostledher herbroken brokenfoot footororhand hand she sheyelped yelpedand andsagged saggedagainst againstus. us.

‘S-sorry, ‘S-sorry,guys,’ guys,’she shemuttered, muttered,her herface facebeaded beadedwith withsweat. sweat.

‘Guess ‘GuessI’m I’mnot notmeant meanttotobebea amelee meleefighter.’ fighter.’

‘Neither ‘Neitheram amI,’I,’I Iadmitted. admitted.‘Perhaps ‘PerhapsLeo Leocan canhold holdthem them offoffwhile while–’–’ ‘Hey, ‘Hey,don’t don’tlook lookatatme,’ me,’Leo Leogrumbled. grumbled.‘I’m ‘I’mjust justa arepair repair guy guywho whocan canthrow throwthe theoccasional occasionalfireball. fireball.Our Ourfighter fighterisis stuck stuckback backthere thereininsuitcase suitcasemode.’ mode.’

‘Hobble ‘Hobblefaster,’ faster,’I Isuggested. suggested.

We Wereached reachedthe thestreet streetalive aliveonly onlybecause becausethe theblemmyae blemmyae moved movedsososlowly. slowly.I Isuppose supposeI Iwould, would,too, too,ififI Iwere werebalancing balancing a afake fakemetal metalhead headononmy, my,er,er,head, head,but buteven evenwithout withouttheir their disguises disguisesthe theblemmyae blemmyaewere werenot notasasswift swiftasasthey theywere were strong. strong.Their Theirterrible terribledepth depthperception perceptionmade madethem themwalk walk with withexaggerated exaggeratedcaution, caution,asasififthe theground groundwere werea amultimultilayered layeredhologram. hologram.IfIfonly onlywe wecould couldout-hobble out-hobblethem them. . . .

‘Good ‘Goodmorning!’ morning!’AApolice policeoffi offi cer cerappeared appearedononour ourright, right, his hisfirearm firearmdrawn. drawn.‘Halt ‘HaltororI Iwill willshoot! shoot!Thank Thankyou!’ you!’

Leo Leopulled pulleda astoppered stopperedglass glassbottle bottlefrom fromhis histool toolbelt. belt.

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He Hetossed tossedititatatthe theoffi offi cer’s cer’sfeet feetand andgreen greenflames flamesexploded exploded around aroundhim. him.The Theoffi offi cer cerdropped droppedhis hisgun. gun.He Hebegan begantearing tearing offoffhis hisburning burninguniform, uniform,revealing revealinga achest-face chest-facewith withshaggy shaggy pectoral pectoraleyebrows eyebrowsand anda abelly bellybeard beardininneed needofofa ashave. shave.

‘Phew,’ ‘Phew,’Leo Leosaid. said.‘I‘Iwas washoping hopinghehewas wasa ablemmyae. blemmyae.

That Thatwas wasmy myonly onlyvial vialofofGreek Greekfire, fire,guys. guys.And AndI Ican’t can’tkeep keep summoning summoningfireballs fireballsunless unlessI Iwant wanttotopass passout, out,soso–’–’ ‘We ‘Weneed needtotofind findcover,’ cover,’said saidCalypso.

Calypso.

Sensible Sensibleadvice, advice,but butcover coverdid didnot notseem seemtotobebeananIndiana Indiana concept. concept.The Thestreets streetswere werewide wideand andstraight, straight,the thelandscape landscape flat, flat,the thecrowds crowdssparse, sparse,the thesight sightlines linesendless. endless.

We Weturned turnedonto ontoSouth SouthCapitol.

Capitol.I Iglanced glancedover overmy my shoulder shoulderand andsaw sawthe themob mobofofsmiling smilingfake-headed fake-headedlocals locals gaining gainingononus. us.AAconstruction constructionworker workerstopped stoppedtotorip ripthe the fender fenderoffoffa aFord Fordpickup, pickup,then thenrejoined rejoinedthe theparade, parade,his hisnew new chrome chromeclub clubslung slungover overhis hisshoulder. shoulder.

Meanwhile, Meanwhile,the theregular regularmortals mortals– –atatleast, least,those thosewho who did didnot notseem seeminterested interestedininkilling killingususatatthe themoment moment– –went went about abouttheir theirbusiness, business,making makingphone phonecalls, calls,waiting waitingatattraffi traffi cc lights, lights,sipping sippingcoffee coffeeininnearby nearbycafés, cafés,completely completelyignoring ignoringus. us.

At Atone onecorner, corner,sitting sittingonona amilk milkcrate, crate,a aheavily heavilyblanketed blanketed homeless homelessman manasked askedme mefor forchange. change.I Iresisted resistedthe theurge urgetoto tell tellhim himthat thatchange changewas wascoming comingupupfast fastbehind behindus, us,carrying carrying assorted assortedweapons. weapons.

My Myheart heartpounded. pounded.My Mylegs legsshook. shook.I Ihated hatedhaving havinga a mortal mortalbody. body.I Iexperienced experiencedsosomany manybothersome bothersomethings, things,like like fear, fear,cold, cold,nausea nauseaand andthe theimpulse impulsetotowhimper whimperPlease Pleasedon’t don’t kill killme! me!IfIfonly onlyCalypso Calypsohadn’t hadn’tbroken brokenher herankle anklewe wemight might have havemoved movedfaster, faster,but butwe wecouldn’t couldn’tvery verywell wellleave leaveher her

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behind. behind.Not Notthat thatI Iparticularly particularlyliked likedCalypso, Calypso,mind mindyou, you,but but I’dI’dalready alreadyconvinced convincedLeo Leototoabandon abandonhis hisdragon. dragon.I Ididn’t didn’t want wanttotopush pushmy myluck. luck.

‘There!’

‘There!’said saidthe thesorceress. sorceress.She Shepointed pointedwith withher herchin chintoto what whatlooked lookedlike likea aservice servicealley alleybehind behinda ahotel. hotel.

I Ishuddered, shuddered,remembering rememberingmy myfirst firstday dayininNew NewYork Yorkasas Lester LesterPapadopoulos.

Papadopoulos.‘What ‘Whatififit’s it’sa adead deadend? end?The Thelast lasttime time I Ifound foundmyself myselfinina adead-end dead-endalley, alley,things thingsdid didnot notgogowell.’ well.’

‘Let’s ‘Let’stry,’ try,’Leo Leosaid. said.‘We ‘Wemight mightbebeable abletotohide hideininthere, there, oror. . . I. Idunno.’ dunno.’

I dunno I dunnosounded soundedlike likea asketchy sketchyplan planB,B,but butI had I hadnothing nothing better bettertotooffer. offer.

Good Goodnews: news:the thealley alleywas wasnot nota adead deadend. end.I Icould could clearly clearlysee seeananexit exitatatthe thefarfarend endofofthe theblock. block.Bad Badnews: news:the the loading loadingbays baysalong alongthe theback backofofthe thehotel hotelwere werelocked, locked,giving giving ususnowhere nowheretotohide, hide,and andthe theopposite oppositewall wallofofthe thealley alleywas was lined linedwith withdumpsters. dumpsters.Oh, Oh,dumpsters! dumpsters!How HowI Ihated hatedthem! them!

Leo Leosighed. sighed.‘I‘Iguess guesswe wecould couldjump jumpinin–’–’ ‘No!’ ‘No!’I Isnapped. snapped.‘Never ‘Neveragain!’ again!’

We Westruggled struggledthrough throughthe thealley alleyasasfast fastasaswe wecould. could.I I tried triedtotocalm calmmy mynerves nervesbybysilently silentlycomposing composinga asonnet sonnet about aboutvarious variousways waysa awrathful wrathfulgod godcould coulddestroy destroydumpsters. dumpsters.

I Ibecame becamesosoengrossed engrossedI Ididn’t didn’tnotice noticewhat whatwas wasininfront frontofof ususuntil untilCalypso Calypsogasped. gasped.

Leo Leohalted. halted.‘What ‘Whatthe the–?–?Hijo.’

Hijo.’

The Theapparition apparitionglowed glowedwith witha afaint faintginger gingerlight. light.He He wore worea atraditional traditionalchiton, chiton,sandals sandalsand anda asheathed sheathedsword, sword, like likea aGreek Greekwarrior warriorininthe theprime primeofoflife life. . . except . exceptfor forthe the fact factthat thathehehad hadbeen beendecapitated. decapitated.Unlike Unlikethe theblemmyae, blemmyae, however, however,this thisperson personobviously obviouslyhad hadonce oncebeen beenhuman. human.

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Ethereal Etherealblood bloodtrickled trickledfrom fromhis hissevered severedneck, neck,splattering splattering his hisluminous luminousorange orangetunic. tunic.

‘It’s ‘It’sa acheese-coloured cheese-colouredghost,’ ghost,’Leo Leosaid. said.

The Thespirit spiritraised raisedone onehand, hand,beckoning beckoningususforward. forward.

Not Notbeing beingborn borna amortal, mortal,I Ihad hadnonoparticular particularfear fearofofthe the dead. dead.You’ve You’veseen seenone onetormented tormentedsoul, soul,you’ve you’veseen seenthem themall. all.

But Butsomething somethingabout aboutthis thisghost ghostunsettled unsettledme. me.He Hestirred stirreda a distant distantmemory, memory,a afeeling feelingofofguilt guiltfrom fromthousands thousandsofofyears years ago ago. . . .

Behind Behindus, us,the thevoices voicesofofthe theblemmyae blemmyaegrew grewlouder. louder.I I heard heardthem themcalling callingout out‘Morning!’

‘Morning!’and and‘Excuse ‘Excuseme!’ me!’and and ‘Lovely ‘Lovelyday!’ day!’tototheir theirfellow fellowIndianans.

Indianans.

‘What ‘Whatdodowe wedo?’ do?’Calypso Calypsoasked. asked.

‘Follow ‘Followthe theghost,’ ghost,’I Isaid. said.

‘What?’

‘What?’Leo Leoyelped. yelped.

‘We ‘Wefollow followthe thecheese-coloured cheese-colouredghost. ghost.As Asyou’re you’realways always saying: saying:Vaya Vayacon conqueso.’ queso.’

‘That ‘Thatwas wasa ajoke, joke,ese.’ ese.’

The Theorange orangespirit spiritbeckoned beckonedagain, again,then thenfloated floatedtowards towards the theend endofofthe thealley. alley.

Behind Behindus, us,a aman’s man’svoice voiceshouted, shouted,‘There ‘Thereyou youare! are!

Lovely Lovelyweather, weather,isn’t isn’tit?’ it?’

I Iturned turnedinintime timetotosee seea atruck truckfender fenderspiralling spirallingtowards towardsus.us.

‘Down!’

‘Down!’I Itackled tackledCalypso Calypsoand andLeo, Leo,provoking provokingmore more screams screamsofofagony agonyfrom fromthe thesorceress. sorceress.The Thetruck truckfender fendersailed sailed over overour ourheads headsand andslammed slammedinto intoa adumpster, dumpster,sending sendingupupa a festive festiveexplosion explosionofofgarbage garbageconfetti. confetti.

We Westruggled struggledtotoour ourfeet. feet.Calypso Calypsowas wasshivering, shivering,nono longer longercomplaining complainingabout aboutthe thepain. pain.I Iwas wasfairly fairlysure sureshe shewas was going goinginto intoshock. shock.

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Leo Leopulled pulleda astaple staplegun gunfrom fromhis histool toolbelt. belt.‘You ‘Youguys guysgogo ahead. ahead.I’ll I’llhold holdthem themoffoffasaslong longasasI Ican.’ can.’

‘What ‘Whatare areyou yougoing goingtotodo?’ do?’I Idemanded. demanded.‘Sort ‘Sortand and collate collatethem?’ them?’

‘I’m ‘I’mgoing goingtotothrow throwthings thingsatatthem!’ them!’Leo Leosnapped. snapped.

‘Unless ‘Unlessyou’ve you’vegot gota abetter betteridea?’ idea?’

‘B-both ‘B-bothofofyou youstop,’ stop,’Calypso Calypsostammered. stammered.‘We ‘Wed-don’t d-don’t leave leaveanyone anyonebehind. behind.Now Nowwalk. walk.Left, Left,right, right,left, left,right.’ right.’

We Weemerged emergedfrom fromthe thealley alleyinto intoa awide-open wide-opencircular circular plaza. plaza.Oh, Oh,why whycouldn’t couldn’tIndianans Indianansbuild builda aproper propercity citywith with narrow, narrow,twisting twistingstreets, streets,plenty plentyofofdark darkcorners cornersand andperhaps perhaps some someconveniently convenientlyplaced placedbombproof bombproofbunkers? bunkers?

InInthe themiddle middleofofa aring-shaped ring-shapeddrive drivestood stooda afountain fountain surrounded surroundedbybydormant dormantflower flowerbeds. beds.ToTothe thenorth northrose rosethe the twin twintowers towersofofanother anotherhotel. hotel.ToTothe thesouth southloomed loomedanan older, older,grander granderbuilding buildingofofred-brick red-brickand andgranite granite– –perhaps perhaps a aVictorian-era Victorian-eratrain trainstation. station.On Onone oneside sideofofthe theedifi edifi ce, ce, a aclock clocktower towersoared soaredroughly roughlytwo twohundred hundredfeet feetinto intothe the sky. sky.Above Abovethe themain mainentrance, entrance,under undera amarble marblearchway, archway,a a colossal colossalrose rosewindow windowgleamed gleamedinina aframe frameofofgreen greencopper, copper, like likea astained-glass stained-glassversion versionofofthe thedartboard dartboardwe weused usedfor forour our weekly weeklygame gamenight nightononMount MountOlympus.

Olympus.

That That thought thought made made me me heartsick heartsick with with nostalgia. nostalgia. I I would’ve would’vegiven givenanything anythingtotobebeback backhome homefor forgame gamenight, night, even evenififititmeant meantlistening listeningtotoAthena Athenagloat gloatabout abouther her Scrabble Scrabblescores. scores.

I Iscanned scannedthe theplaza. plaza.Our Ourghostly ghostlyguide guideseemed seemedtotohave have disappeared. disappeared.

Why Whyhad hadhehebrought broughtusushere? here?Should Shouldwe wetry trythe thehotel? hotel?

The Thetrain trainstation? station?

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Those Thosequestions questionsbecame becamemoot mootwhen whenthe theblemmyae blemmyae surrounded surroundedus. us.

The Themob mobburst burstout outofofthe thealley alleybehind behindus. us.AApolice policecar car swerved swervedinto intothe theroundabout roundaboutnext nexttotothe thetrain trainstation. station.AA bulldozer bulldozerpulled pulledinto intothe thehotel’s hotel’sdriveway, driveway,the theoperator operator waving wavingand andcalling callingout outcheerfully, cheerfully,‘Hello!

‘Hello!I’m I’mgoing goingtoto bulldoze bulldozeyou!’ you!’

All Allexits exitsfrom fromthe theplaza plazawere werequickly quicklyblocked. blocked.

AA line line ofof sweat sweat freeze-dried freeze-dried against against my my neck. neck. An An annoying annoyingwhine whinefilled filledmy myears, ears,which whichI Irealized realizedwas wasmy myown own subvocalized subvocalizedwhimpering whimperingofofPlease Pleasedon’t don’tkill killme, me,please pleasedon’t don’t kill killme. me.

I won’t I won’tdiediehere, here,I promised I promisedmyself. myself.I’m I’mmuch muchtoo tooimportant important totobite biteit itininIndiana.

Indiana.

But Butmy mytrembling tremblinglegs legsand andchattering chatteringteeth teethseemed seemedtoto disagree. disagree.

‘Who ‘Whohas hasananidea?’ idea?’I Iasked askedmy mycompatriots. compatriots.‘Please, ‘Please,any any brilliant brilliantidea.’ idea.’

Calypso Calypso looked looked like like her her most most brilliant brilliant idea idea atat the the moment momentwas wastrying tryingnot nottotothrow throwup. up.Leo Leohefted heftedhis hisstaple staple gun, gun,which whichdidn’t didn’tseem seemtotofrighten frightenthe theblemmyae. blemmyae.

From Fromthe themidst midstofofthe themob, mob,our ourold oldfriend friendNanette Nanette emerged, emerged,her herchest-face chest-facegrinning. grinning.Her Herpatent-leather patent-leatherpumps pumps clashed clashedterribly terriblywith withher herblonde blondeleg legfur. fur.‘Gosh ‘Goshdarn darnit,it,dears, dears, you’ve you’vemade mademe mea abit bitmiffed.’ miffed.’

She Shegrabbed grabbedthe thenearest neareststreet streetsign signand andsingle-handedly single-handedly ripped rippedititout outofofthe theground. ground.‘Now, ‘Now,please pleasehold holdstill, still,won’t won’t you? you?I’m I’mjust justgoing goingtotosmash smashyour yourheads headswith withthis.’ this.’

13 3 Lester (Apollo) My Mylast last performance performance Still human; thanks for asking Some Some old oldlady lady drops drops the the mic mic Gods, Ikills hate my life And Andkills everyone everyone

OUR DRAGON declared war on Indiana, IWHEN IWAS WASABOUT ABOUT TO TOINITIATE INITIATE Defence Defence Plan Plan Omega Omega–I – knew ittowas going to bebegging abegging bad day. falling falling tomy my knees knees and and for formercy mercy– –when whenLeo Leosaved saved We’d been travelling west for six weeks, and Festus me mefrom fromthat thatembarrassment. embarrassment. had‘Bulldozer,’ never shown such hostility towards a state. New Jersey ‘Bulldozer,’ hehe whispered. whispered. he ignored.

Pennsylvania seemed to enjoy, despite our ‘Is‘Isthat thata acode codeword?’ word?’I he Iasked. asked. battle with the Cyclopes of over Pittsburgh. he tolerated, ‘No. ‘No. I’m I’m going going totosneak sneak overtotothe theOhio bulldozer. bulldozer.

You Youtwo two even after our encounter with Potina, the Roman goddess distract distract the the metalheads.’ metalheads.’ of childhood drinks, whoweight pursued in the form of a giant He Heshifted shifted Calypso’s Calypso’s weight totous me. me. red ‘Are pitcher emblazoned with a smiley face.

‘Areyou you crazy?’ crazy?’she shehissed. hissed.

Yet, for reason, Festus decided he did notthem! like Leo Leoshot shotsome her heranan urgent urgentlook, look,like like Trust Trustme! me!Distract Distract them!

Indiana.

He landed on the cupola of the Indiana Statehouse, Then Thenhehetook tooka acareful carefulstep stepsideways. sideways. flapped his metallic wings and avolunteering cone of firetoto that ‘Oh!’ ‘Oh!’Nanette Nanettebeamed. beamed.‘Are ‘Areblew you youvolunteering die die the stateYou flYou ag did right offme the flagpole. fiincinerated rst, first,short shortdemigod? demigod? didhit hit me with with fire, fire,sosothat thatmakes makes ‘Whoa, buddy!’ Leo Valdez pulled the dragon’s sense.’ sense.’ reins.

‘We’ve Leo talked about this.I INo blowtorching Whatever Whatever Leohad had ininmind, mind, imagined imagined his hisplan planpublic would would monuments!’ fail failififhehebegan beganarguing arguingwith withNanette Nanetteabout abouthis hisheight. height.(Leo (Leo him onabout the being dragon’s spine, Calypso grippedI I was wasBehind a abit bitsensitive sensitive about beingcalled called short.) short.)

Fortunately, Fortunately, Festus’s scales for balance.

‘Could we please get toonme. the have havea anatural naturaltalent talentfor forfocusing focusingeveryone’s everyone’sattention attentionon me. ground?

Gently this time?’

‘I‘Ivolunteer volunteer for fordeath!’ death!’I Ishouted. shouted.

For a formerly immortal sorceress who once controlled

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The The entire entire mob mob turned turned toto look look atat me. me. I I silently silently cursed cursedmy mychoice choiceofofwords. words.I Ishould shouldhave havevolunteered volunteered for forsomething somethingeasier, easier,like likebaking bakinga apie pieororpost-execution post-execution clean-up clean-upduty. duty.

I I often often speak speak without without the the benefi benefi t t ofof forethought. forethought.

Usually Usuallyititworks worksout. out.Sometimes Sometimesititleads leadstotoimprovisational improvisational masterpieces, masterpieces,like likethe theRenaissance Renaissanceororthe theBeat Beatmovement. movement.I I had hadtotohope hopethis thiswould wouldbebeone oneofofthose thosetimes. times.

‘But ‘Butfirst,’ first,’I Isaid, said,‘hear ‘hearmy myplea, plea,OOmerciful mercifulblemmyae!’ blemmyae!’

The Thepoliceman policemanwho whoLeo Leohad hadtorched torchedlowered loweredhis hisgun. gun.

AAfew fewgreen greenembers embersofofGreek Greekfire firestill stillsmouldered smoulderedininhis his belly bellybeard. beard.‘What ‘Whatdodoyou youmean, mean,hear hearmy myplea?’ plea?’

‘Well,’ ‘Well,’I Isaid, said,‘it’s ‘it’scustomary customarytotohear hearthe thelast lastwords wordsofofa a dying dyingman man. . . .ororgod godorordemigod demigodoror. . . .what whatwould wouldyou you consider consideryourself, yourself,Calypso?

Calypso?AATitan?

Titan?AAdemi-Titan?’ demi-Titan?’

Calypso Calypsocleared clearedher herthroat throatwith witha anoise noisethat thatsounded sounded suspiciously suspiciouslylike likeidiot. idiot.‘What ‘WhatApollo Apolloisistrying tryingtotosay, say,OO merciful mercifulblemmyae, blemmyae,isisthat thatetiquette etiquettedemands demandsyou yougrant grantusus a afew fewlast lastwords wordsbefore beforeyou youkill killus. us.I’m I’msure sureyou youwouldn’t wouldn’t want wanttotobebeimpolite.’ impolite.’

The Theblemmyae blemmyaelooked lookedaghast. aghast.They Theylost losttheir theirpleasant pleasant smiles smilesand andshook shooktheir theirmechanical mechanicalheads. heads.Nanette Nanetteshuffl shuffl eded forward, forward,her herhands handsraised raisedinina aplacating placatingmanner. manner.‘No, ‘No, indeed! indeed!We Weare arevery verypolite.’ polite.’

‘Extremely ‘Extremelypolite,’ polite,’the thepoliceman policemanagreed. agreed.

‘Thank ‘Thankyou,’ you,’said saidNanette.

Nanette.

‘You’re ‘You’rewelcome,’ welcome,’said saidthe thepoliceman. policeman.

‘Listen, ‘Listen,then!’ then!’I Icried. cried.‘Friends, ‘Friends,frenemies, frenemies,blemmyae blemmyae. . . . open openyour yourarmpits armpitsand andhear hearmy mysad sadtale!’ tale!’

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Leo Leoshuffl shuffl ededback backanother anotherstep, step,his hishands handsininthe thepockets pockets ofofhis histool toolbelt. belt.Another Anotherfifty-seven, fifty-seven,fifty-eight fifty-eightsteps, steps,and andhehe would wouldarrive arriveatatthe thebulldozer. bulldozer.Fantastic.

Fantastic.

‘I‘Iam amApollo!’

Apollo!’I Ibegan. began.‘Formerly ‘Formerlya agod! god!I Ifell fellfrom from Olympus, Olympus,cast castdown downbybyZeus, Zeus,unfairly unfairlyblamed blamedfor forstarting startinga a war warwith withthe thegiants!’ giants!’

‘I’m ‘I’mgoing goingtotobebesick,’ sick,’Calypso Calypsomuttered. muttered.‘Let ‘Letme mesitsit down.’ down.’

‘You’re ‘You’rebreaking breakingmy myrhythm.’ rhythm.’

‘You’re ‘You’rebreaking breakingmy myeardrums. eardrums.Let Letme mesit!’ sit!’

I Ieased easedCalypso Calypsoonto ontothe thefountain’s fountain’sretaining retainingwall. wall.

Nanette Nanetteraised raisedher herstreet streetsign. sign.‘Is‘Isthat thatit?it?May MayI Ikill killyou you now?’ now?’

‘No, ‘No,no!’ no!’I Isaid. said.‘I‘Iam amjust, just,ah, ah,letting lettingCalypso Calypsositsitsoso. . . . sososhe shecan canact actasasmy mychorus. chorus.AAgood goodGreek Greekperformance performance always alwaysneeds needsa achorus.’ chorus.’

Calypso’s Calypso’shand handlooked lookedlike likea acrushed crushedaubergine. aubergine.Her Her ankle anklehad hadswollen swollenaround aroundthe thetop topofofher hersneaker. sneaker.I Ididn’t didn’t see seehow howshe shecould couldstay stayconscious, conscious,much muchless lessact actasasa achorus, chorus, but butshe shetook tooka ashaky shakybreath breathand andnodded. nodded.‘Ready.’

‘Ready.’

‘Lo!’ ‘Lo!’I Isaid. said.‘I‘Iarrived arrivedatatCamp CampHalf-Blood Half-BloodasasLester Lester Papadopoulos!’

Papadopoulos!’

‘A‘Apathetic patheticmortal!’ mortal!’Calypso Calypsochorused. chorused.‘Most ‘Mostworthless worthless ofofteens!’ teens!’

I Iglared glaredatather, her,but butI Ididn’t didn’tdare darestop stopmy myperformance performance again. again.‘I‘Iovercame overcamemany manychallenges challengeswith withmy mycompanion, companion, Meg MegMcCaffrey!’

McCaffrey!’

‘He ‘Hemeans meanshis hismaster!’ master!’Calypso Calypsoadded. added.‘A‘Atwelve-yeartwelve-yearold oldgirl! girl!Behold Beholdher herpathetic patheticslave, slave,Lester, Lester,most mostworthless worthless ofofteens!’ teens!’

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The Thepoliceman policemanhuffed huffedimpatiently. impatiently.‘We ‘Weknow knowallallthis. this.

The Theemperor emperortold toldus.’ us.’

‘Shh,’ ‘Shh,’said saidNanette.

Nanette.‘Be ‘Bepolite.’ polite.’

I Iput putmy myhand handover overmy myheart. heart.‘We ‘Wesecured securedthe theGrove Grove ofofDodona, Dodona,ananancient ancientOracle, Oracle,and andthwarted thwartedthe theplans plansofof Nero!

Nero!But, But,alas, alas,Meg MegMcCaffrey McCaffreyfled fledfrom fromme. me.Her Herevil evil stepfather stepfatherhad hadpoisoned poisonedher hermind!’ mind!’

‘Poison!’

‘Poison!’ Calypso Calypso cried. cried. ‘Like ‘Like the the breath breath ofof Lester Lester Papadopoulos, Papadopoulos,most mostworthless worthlessofofteens!’ teens!’

I Iresisted resistedthe theurge urgetotopush pushCalypso Calypsointo intothe theflower flowerbed. bed.

Meanwhile, Meanwhile, Leo Leo was was making making his his way way towards towards the the bulldozer bulldozerunder underthe theguise guiseofofananinterpretive interpretivedance danceroutine, routine, spinning spinningand andgasping gaspingand andpantomiming pantomimingmy mywords. words.He He looked lookedlike likea ahallucinating hallucinatingballerina ballerinaininboxer boxershorts, shorts,but but the theblemmyae blemmyaepolitely politelygot gotout outofofhis hisway. way.

‘Lo!’ ‘Lo!’I Ishouted. shouted.‘From ‘Fromthe theOracle OracleofofDodona Dodonawe wereceived received a aprophecy prophecy– –a alimerick limerickmost mostterrible!’ terrible!’

‘Terrible!’

‘Terrible!’Calypso Calypsochorused. chorused.‘Like ‘Likethe theskills skillsofofLester, Lester, most mostworthless worthlessofofteens.’ teens.’

‘Vary ‘Vary your your adjectives,’ adjectives,’ I I grumbled, grumbled, then then continued continued for formy myaudience: audience:‘We ‘Wetravelled travelledwest westininsearch searchofofanother another Oracle, Oracle,along alongthe theway wayfighting fightingmany manyfearsome fearsomefoes! foes!The The Cyclopes Cyclopeswe webrought broughtlow!’ low!’

Leo Leojumped jumpedonto ontothe therunning runningboard boardofofthe thebulldozer. bulldozer.He He raised raisedhis hisstaple staplegun gundramatically, dramatically,then thenstapled stapledthe thebulldozer bulldozer operator operatortwice twiceininthe thepectorals pectorals– –right rightwhere wherehis hisactual actualeyes eyes would wouldbe. be.That Thatcould couldnot nothave havefelt feltgood good– –even evenfor fora atough tough species speciessuch suchasasthe theblemmyae. blemmyae.The Theoperator operatorscreamed screamedand and grabbed grabbedhis hischest. chest.Leo Leokicked kickedhim himout outofofthe thedriver’s driver’sseat. seat.

The Thepolice policeoffi offi cer ceryelled, yelled,‘Hey!’ ‘Hey!’

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‘Wait!’

‘Wait!’I Iimplored imploredthem. them.‘Our ‘Ourfriend friendisisonly onlygiving givingyou you a adramatic dramaticinterpretation interpretationofofhow howwe webeat beatthe theCyclopes.

Cyclopes.

That’s That’stotally totallyallowed allowedwhile whiletelling tellinga astory!’ story!’

The Thecrowd crowdshifted shifteduncertainly. uncertainly.

‘These ‘Theseare arevery verylong longlast lastwords,’ words,’Nanette Nanettecomplained. complained.

‘When ‘Whenwill willI Iget gettotosmash smashyour yourhead headin?’ in?’

‘Soon,’ ‘Soon,’I promised.

I promised.‘Now, ‘Now,asasI was I wassaying saying. . . we . wetravelled travelled west!’ west!’

I hauled I hauledCalypso Calypsototoher herfeet feetagain againwith withmuch muchwhimpering whimpering ononher herpart part(and (anda alittle littlebit bitononmine). mine).

‘What ‘Whatare areyou youdoing?’ doing?’she shemuttered. muttered.

‘Work ‘Workwith withme,’ me,’I Isaid. said.‘Lo, ‘Lo,frenemies! frenemies!Behold Beholdhow howwe we travelled!’ travelled!’

The Thetwo twoofofususstaggered staggeredtowards towardsthe thebulldozer. bulldozer.Leo’s Leo’s hands handsflew flewover overthe thecontrols. controls.The Theengine engineroared roaredtotolife. life.

‘This ‘Thisisn’t isn’ta astory!’ story!’the thepolice policeoffi offi cer cerprotested. protested.‘They’re ‘They’re getting gettingaway!’ away!’

‘No, ‘No,not notatatall!’ all!’I Ipushed pushedCalypso Calypsoonto ontothe thebulldozer bulldozerand and climbed climbedupupafter afterher. her.‘You ‘Yousee, see,we wetravelled travelledfor formany manyweeks weeks like likethis this. . .’. .’

Leo Leostarted startedbacking backingup. up.Beep.

Beep.Beep.

Beep.Beep.

Beep.The Thebull bull dozer’s dozer’s shovel shovelbegan begantotorise. rise.

‘Imagine ‘Imagineyou youare areCamp CampHalf-Blood,’ Half-Blood,’I Ishouted shoutedtotothe the crowd, crowd,‘and ‘andwe weare aretravelling travellingaway awayfrom fromyou.’ you.’

I Irealized realizedmy mymistake. mistake.I Ihad hadasked askedthe theblemmyae blemmyaetoto imagine. imagine.They Theysimply simplyweren’t weren’tcapable capableofofthat. that.

‘Stop ‘Stopthem!’ them!’The Thepolice policeoffi offi cer cerraised raisedhis hisgun. gun.His Hisfirst first shot shotricocheted ricochetedoffoffthe thedozer’s dozer’smetal metalscoop. scoop.

‘Listen, ‘Listen,my myfriends!’ friends!’I Iimplored. implored.‘Open ‘Openyour yourarmpits!’ armpits!’

But Butwe wehad hadexhausted exhaustedtheir theirpoliteness. politeness.AAtrash trashcan cansailed sailed

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over overour ourheads. heads.AAbusinessman businessmanpicked pickedupupa adecorative decorativestone stone urn urnfrom fromthe thecorner cornerofofthe thefountain fountainand andtossed tossedititininour our direction, direction,annihilating annihilatingthe thehotel’s hotel’sfront frontwindow. window.

‘Faster!’

‘Faster!’I Itold toldLeo. Leo. ‘Trying, ‘Trying,man,’ man,’hehemuttered. muttered.‘This ‘Thisthing thingwasn’t wasn’tbuilt builtfor for speed.’ speed.’

The Theblemmyae blemmyaeclosed closedin. in.

‘Look ‘Lookout!’ out!’Calypso Calypsoyelled. yelled.

Leo Leoswerved swervedjust justinintime timetotodefl defl ect ecta awrought-iron wrought-ironbench bench offoffour ourdozer dozerblade. blade.Unfortunately, Unfortunately,that thatopened openedususupuptotoa a different differentattack. attack.Nanette Nanettethrew threwher herstreet streetsign signlike likea aharpoon. harpoon.

The Themetal metalpole polepierced piercedthe thebulldozer’s bulldozer’schassis chassisinina aburst burstofof steam steamand andgrease, grease,and andour ourgetaway getawayride rideshuddered shudderedtotoa ahalt. halt.

‘Great,’ ‘Great,’Calypso Calypsosaid. said.‘Now ‘Nowwhat?’ what?’

This Thiswould wouldhave havebeen beenananexcellent excellenttime timefor formy mygodly godly strength strengthtotoreturn. return.I Icould couldhave havewaded wadedinto intobattle, battle,tossing tossing my myenemies enemiesaside asidelike likerag ragdolls. dolls.Instead, Instead,my mybones bonesseemed seemed totoliquefy liquefyand andpool poolininmy myshoes. shoes.My Myhands handsshook shooksosobadly badly I Idoubted doubtedI Icould couldunwrap unwrapmy mybow boweven evenififI Itried. tried.Oh, Oh,that that my myglorious gloriouslife lifeshould shouldend endthis thisway way– –crushed crushedbybypolite polite headless headlesspeople peopleininthe theAmerican AmericanMidwest!

Midwest!

Nanette Nanetteleaped leapedonto ontothe thehood hoodofofour ourbulldozer, bulldozer,giving giving me mea aghastly ghastlyview viewstraight straightupupher hernostrils. nostrils.Leo Leotried triedtotoblast blast her herwith withflames, flames,but butthis thistime timeNanette Nanettewas wasprepared. prepared.She She opened openedher hermouth mouthand andswallowed swallowedthe thefireball, fireball,showing showingnono sign signofofdistress distressexcept exceptfor fora asmall smallburp. burp.

‘Don’t ‘Don’tfeel feeltoo toobad, bad,dears,’ dears,’she shetold toldus. us.‘You ‘Younever never would wouldhave havegained gainedaccess accesstotothe theblue bluecave. cave.The Theemperor emperor has hasitittoo toowell wellguarded! guarded!AAshame shameyou youhave havetotodie, die,though. though.

The Thenaming namingcelebration celebrationisisininthree threedays, days,and andyou youand andthe the

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girl girlwere weresupposed supposedtotobebethe themain mainattractions attractionsininhis hisslave slave procession!’ procession!’

I Iwas wastoo tooterrifi terrifi ededtotofully fullyprocess processher herwords. words.The Thegirl girl. . . .

Did Didshe shemean meanMeg? Meg?Otherwise OtherwiseI Iheard heardonly onlyblue blue– –diedie– – slave, slave,which whichatatthe themoment momentseemed seemedananaccurate accuratesummary summary ofofmy myexistence. existence.

I Iknew knewititwas washopeless, hopeless,but butI Islipped slippedmy mybow bowfrom frommy my shoulder shoulderand andbegan begantotounwrap unwrapit.it.Suddenly Suddenlyananarrow arrowsprouted sprouted between betweenNanette’s Nanette’seyes. eyes.She Shewent wentcross-eyed cross-eyedtrying tryingtotosee see it,it,then thentumbled tumbledbackwards backwardsand andcrumbled crumbledtotodust. dust.

I Istared staredatatmy myblanketed blanketedweapon. weapon.I Iwas wasa afast fastarcher, archer,yes. yes.

But ButI Iwas wasfairly fairlysure sureI Ihadn’t hadn’tfired firedthat thatshot. shot.

AAshrill shrillwhistle whistlecaught caughtmy myattention. attention.InInthe themiddle middleofof the theplaza, plaza,standing standingatop atopthe thefountain, fountain,a awoman womancrouched crouched ininfaded fadedjeans jeansand anda asilvery silverywinter wintercoat. coat.AAwhite whitebirch birchbow bow gleamed gleamedininher herhand. hand.On Onher herback, back,a aquiver quiverbristled bristledwith with arrows. arrows.My Myheart heartleaped, leaped,thinking thinkingthat thatmy mysister sisterArtemis Artemis had hadcome cometotohelp helpme meatatlast! last!But Butnono. . . .this thiswoman womanwas was atatleast leastsixty sixtyyears yearsold, old,her hergrey greyhair hairtied tiedback backinina abun. bun.

Artemis Artemiswould wouldnever neverappear appearininsuch sucha aform. form.

For Forreasons reasonsshe shehad hadnever nevershared sharedwith withme, me,Artemis Artemis had hadananaversion aversiontotolooking lookingany anyolder olderthan, than,say, say,twenty. twenty.I’dI’d told toldher hercountless countlesstimes timesthat thatbeauty beautywas wasageless. ageless.All Allthe the Olympian Olympianfashion fashionmagazines magazineswill willtell tellyou youthat thatfour fourthousand thousand isisthe thenew newone onethousand, thousand,but butshe shesimply simplywouldn’t wouldn’tlisten. listen.

The Thegrey-haired grey-hairedwoman womanshouted, shouted,‘Hit ‘Hitthe theground!’ ground!’

All Allaround aroundthe theplaza, plaza,manhole-size manhole-sizecircles circlesappeared appearedinin the theasphalt. asphalt.Each Eachone onescissored scissoredopen openlike likethe theiris irisofofa acamera camera and andturrets turretssprang sprangupup– –mechanical mechanicalcrossbows crossbowsswivelling swivelling and andsweeping sweepingred redtargeting targetinglasers lasersininevery everydirection. direction.

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The Theblemmyae blemmyaedidn’t didn’ttry trytototake takecover. cover.Perhaps Perhapsthey they didn’t didn’tunderstand. understand.Perhaps Perhapsthey theywere werewaiting waitingfor forthe thegreygreyhaired hairedwoman womantotosay sayplease. please.

I,I,however, however,didn’t didn’tneed needtotobebeananarchery archerygod godtotoknow know what whatwould wouldhappen happennext. next.I tackled I tackledmy myfriends friendsfor forthe thesecond second time timethat thatday. day.(Which, (Which,ininretrospect, retrospect,I Ihave havetotoadmit admitfelt felt a awee weebit bitsatisfying.) satisfying.)We Wetumbled tumbledoffoffthe thebulldozer bulldozerasasthe the crossbows crossbowsfired firedinina aflurry flurryofofsharp sharphisses. hisses.

When WhenI Idared daredtotoraise raisemy myhead, head,nothing nothingwas wasleft leftofofthe the blemmyae blemmyaebut butpiles pilesofofdust dustand andclothing. clothing.

The Thegrey-haired grey-hairedwoman womanjumped jumpedfrom fromthe thetop topofofthe the fountain. fountain.Given Givenher herage, age,I Iwas wasafraid afraidshe shemight mightbreak breakher her ankles, ankles,but butshe shelanded landedgracefully gracefullyand andstrolled strolledtowards towardsus, us, her herbow bowatather herside. side.

Wrinkles Wrinkleswere wereetched etchedacross acrossher herface. face.The Theskin skinunder under her herchin chinhad hadbegun beguntotosag. sag.Liver Liverspots spotsdotted dottedthe thebacks backsofof her herhands. hands.Nevertheless, Nevertheless,she sheheld heldherself herselfwith withthe theregal regal confi confi dence denceofofa awoman womanwho whohad hadnothing nothingleft lefttotoprove prove toto anyone. anyone. Her Her eyes eyes flashed flashed like like moonlight moonlight onon water. water.

Something Somethingabout aboutthose thoseeyes eyeswas wasvery veryfamiliar familiartotome. me.

She Shestudied studiedme mefor fora acount countofoffive, five,then thenshook shookher herhead head ininamazement. amazement.‘So ‘Soit’s it’strue. true.You’re You’reApollo.’

Apollo.’

Her Hertone tonewas wasnot notthe thegeneral generalOh, Oh,wow, wow,Apollo!

Apollo!sort sortofof attitude attitudeI Iwas wasused usedto. to.She Shesaid saidmy myname nameasasififshe sheknew knewme me personally. personally.

‘H-have ‘H-havewe wemet?’ met?’

‘You ‘Youdon’t don’tremember rememberme,’ me,’she shesaid. said.‘No, ‘No,I Idon’t don’tsuppose suppose you youwould. would.Call Callme meEmmie.

Emmie.And Andthe theghost ghostyou yousaw saw– –that that was wasAgamethus.

Agamethus.He Heled ledyou youtotoour ourdoorstep.’ doorstep.’

The Thename nameAgamethus Agamethusdefi defi nitely nitelysounded soundedfamiliar, familiar,but butasas

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usual, usual,I Icouldn’t couldn’tplace placeit.it.My Myhuman humanbrain brainjust justkept keptgiving giving that thatannoying annoyingmemory memoryfull fullmessage, message,asking askingme metotodelete deletea a few fewcenturies centuriesofofexperiences experiencesbefore beforeI Icould couldcontinue. continue.

Emmie Emmieglanced glancedatatLeo. Leo.‘Why ‘Whyare areyou youininyour yourunderwear?’ underwear?’

Leo Leosighed. sighed.‘Been ‘Beena along longmorning, morning,abuela, abuela,but butthanks thanks for forthe theassist. assist.Those Thosecrossbow crossbowturrets turretsare arethe thebomb-diggity.’ bomb-diggity.’

‘Thank ‘Thankyou you. . . I. Ithink.’ think.’

‘Yeah, ‘Yeah,sosomaybe maybeyou youcould couldhelp helpususwith withCal Calhere?’ here?’Leo Leo continued. continued.‘She’s ‘She’snot notdoing doingsosowell.’ well.’

Emmie Emmiecrouched crouchednext nexttotoCalypso, Calypso,whose whosecomplexion complexion had hadturned turnedthe thecolour colourofofcement. cement.The Thesorceress’s sorceress’seyes eyeswere were shut, shut,her herbreathing breathingragged. ragged.

‘She’s ‘She’s badly badly hurt.’ hurt.’ Emmie Emmie frowned frowned asas she she studied studied Calypso’s Calypso’sface. face.‘You ‘Yousaid saidher hername namewas wasCal?’ Cal?’ ‘Calypso,’ ‘Calypso,’Leo Leosaid. said.

‘Ah.’ ‘Ah.’Emmie’s Emmie’sworry worrylines linesdeepened. deepened.‘That ‘Thatexplains explainsit.it.

She Shelooks lookssosomuch muchlike likeZoë.’

Zoë.’

AAknife knifetwisted twistedinside insideme. me.‘Zoë ‘ZoëNightshade?’

Nightshade?’

InInher herfeverish feverishstate, state,Calypso Calypsomuttered mutteredsomething somethingI I couldn’t couldn’tmake makeout out. . . perhaps . perhapsthe thename nameNightshade.

Nightshade.

For Forcenturies, centuries,Zoë Zoëhad hadbeen beenArtemis’s Artemis’slieutenant, lieutenant,the the leader leaderofofher herHunters.

Hunters.She’d She’ddied diedininbattle battlejust justa afew fewyears years ago. ago.I Ididn’t didn’tknow knowififCalypso Calypsoand andZoë Zoëhad hadever evermet, met,but but they theywere werehalf halfsisters sisters– –both bothdaughters daughtersofofthe theTitan TitanAtlas.

Atlas.

I’dI’dnever neverconsidered consideredhow howmuch muchthey theylooked lookedalike. alike.

I Iregarded regardedEmmie.

Emmie.‘If‘Ifyou youknew knewZoë, Zoë,then thenyou youmust mustbebe one oneofofmy mysister’s sister’sHunters.

Hunters.But Butyou youcan’t can’tbe. be.You’re You’re. . .’. .’

I stopped I stoppedmyself myselfbefore beforeI could I couldsay sayold oldand anddying. dying.Hunters Hunters neither neitheraged agednor nordied, died,unless unlessthey theywere werekilled killedinincombat. combat.

This Thiswoman womanwas wasquite quiteobviously obviouslymortal. mortal.I Icould couldsense senseher her

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fading fadinglife lifeenergy energy. . . .sosodepressingly depressinglylike likemine; mine;not notatatallall like likeananimmortal immortalbeing’s. being’s.It’s It’shard hardtotoexplain explainhow howI Icould could tell, tell,but butititwas wasperfectly perfectlyclear cleartotome me– –like likehearing hearingthe the difference differencebetween betweena aperfect perfectfifth fifthand anda adiminished diminishedfifth. fifth.

InInthe thedistance, distance,emergency emergencysirens sirenswailed. wailed.I Irealized realizedwe we were werehaving havingthis thisconversation conversationininthe themiddle middleofofa asmall small disaster disasterzone. zone.Mortals, Mortals,orormore moreblemmyae, blemmyae,would wouldsoon soonbebe arriving. arriving.

Emmie Emmiesnapped snappedher herfingers. fingers.All Allaround aroundthe theplaza, plaza,the the crossbow crossbowturrets turretsretracted. retracted.The Theportals portalsclosed closedasasififthey’d they’d never neverexisted. existed.

‘We ‘Weneed needtotoget getoffoffthe thestreet,’ street,’Emmie Emmiesaid. said.‘Come, ‘Come,I’ll I’ll take takeyou youinto intothe theWaystation.’

Waystation.’

14 4 Lester (Apollo) No Nobuilding building should shouldbebe Still human; thanks for asking A Asecret secret from from Apollo Apollo Gods, I hate myonlife Or Ordrop drop bricks bricks onhim him

WHEN OURHAVE DRAGON declared WE WEDIDN’T DIDN’T HAVE TO TOGO GO FAR. FAR.war on Indiana, I knew it was going to be a bad us, day.

Carrying Carrying Calypso Calypso between between us,Leo Leoand andI followed I followedEmmie Emmie We’d been travelling west for plaza’s six weeks, and Festus totothe thebig big ornate ornate building building atatthe the plaza’s south south end. end.

As AsI I had never shown hostility towards a state.

NewCarved Jersey suspected, suspected, ititwas wassuch a arailroad railroad depot depot atatsome some point. point.

Carved he ignored.

Pennsylvania he seemed to enjoy, despite our UNION iningranite graniteunder underthe therose rosewindow windowwere werethe thewords wordsUNION battle with STATION STATION . . the Cyclopes of Pittsburgh. Ohio he tolerated, evenEmmie after our encounter with Potina, theShe Roman goddess Emmie ignored ignored the themain mainentrance. entrance.

She veered veered right right ofand childhood drinks, pursued usran in ofbetween a giant and stopped stoppedin infront frontwho ofofa awall. wall.She She ranthe her herform finger finger between red emblazoned with smiley face. Mortar the thepitcher bricks, bricks,tracing tracingthe theshape shapeaofof a adoorway. doorway.

Mortarcracked cracked Yet, for some reason, Festus decided he did not likea a and and dissolved. dissolved.

AAnewly newly cut cut door doorswung swunginward, inward, revealing revealing Indiana.

He landed on the cupola of the Indiana Statehouse, narrow narrowchute chutelike likea achimney chimneywith withmetal metalrungs rungsleading leadingup. up. flapped his metallic wings and blew a cone of fi re that ‘Nice ‘Nicetrick,’ trick,’Leo Leosaid, said,‘but ‘butCalypso’s Calypso’snot notexactly exactlyininwallwallincinerated the state flag right off the flagpole. climbing climbingcondition.’ condition.’

‘Whoa, buddy!’her Leo Valdez the dragon’s Emmie Emmieknitted knitted her brow. brow.

‘You’re ‘You’repulled right.’ right.’She Shefaced facedthe the reins.

‘We’ve talked about this.

No blowtorching doorway. doorway.

‘Waystation, ‘Waystation, can canwe we have have a aramp, ramp,please?’ please?’ public monuments!’

The The metal metal rungs rungs vanished. vanished. With With a a soft soft rumble, rumble, on the dragon’s Calypso gripped the theBehind chute’s chute’shim interior interior wall wall slanted slantedspine, backwards, backwards, the the bricks bricks Festus’s scales for balance.

‘Could we please get to the rearranging rearrangingthemselves themselvesinto intoa agentle gentleupward upwardslope. slope. ground?

Gently this time?’

‘Whoa,’ ‘Whoa,’ said said Leo. Leo. ‘Did ‘Didyou youjust justtalk talktotothe thebuilding?’ building?’

For a formerly immortal sorceress who once controlled

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AAsmile smiletugged tuggedatatthe thecorner cornerofofEmmie’s Emmie’smouth. mouth.‘The ‘The Waystation Waystationisismore morethan thana abuilding.’ building.’

Suddenly, Suddenly,I Idid didnot notfancy fancythe thelook lookofofthat thatramp. ramp.‘This ‘Thisisis a aliving livingstructure? structure?Like Likethe theLabyrinth?

Labyrinth?And Andyou youexpect expectusus totogogoinside?’ inside?’

Emmie’s Emmie’sglance glancewas wasdefi defi nitely nitelythe thelook lookofofa aHunter.

Hunter.

Only Onlymy mysister’s sister’sfollowers followerswould woulddare daretotogive giveme mesuch such a amalodorous malodorousstink-eye. stink-eye.‘The ‘TheWaystation Waystationisisnonowork workofof Daedalus, Daedalus,Lord LordApollo.

Apollo.It’s It’sperfectly perfectlysafe safe. . . as . aslong longasasyou you remain remainour ourguests.’ guests.’

Her Hertone tonesuggested suggestedthat thatmy mywelcome welcomewas wasprobationary. probationary.

Behind Behind us, us, the the emergency emergency sirens sirens grew grew louder. louder. Calypso Calypso inhaled inhaledraggedly. raggedly.I Idecided decidedwe wedidn’t didn’thave havemuch muchchoice. choice.

We Wefollowed followedEmmie Emmieinto intothe thebuilding. building.

Lighting Lighting appeared appeared along along the the walls walls – – warm warm yellow yellow candles candlesflickering flickeringininbronze bronzesconces. sconces.About Abouttwenty twentyfeet feetupup the theramp, ramp,a adoor dooropened openedononour ourleft. left.Inside, Inside,I Iglimpsed glimpsedanan infi infi rmary rmarythat thatwould’ve would’vemade mademy myson sonAsclepius Asclepiusjealous: jealous: a a fully fully stocked stocked supply supply cabinet cabinet with with medicine, medicine, surgical surgical tools toolsand andpotion potioningredients; ingredients;a ahospital hospitalbed bedwith withbuilt-in built-in monitors, monitors,GCI GCIinterface interfaceand andlevitating levitatingbariatric bariatricslings. slings.

Racks Racksofofhealing healingherbs herbsdried driedagainst againstthe thewall wallnext nexttotothe the portable portableMRI MRImachine. machine.And Andininthe theback backcorner cornera aglassed-in glassed-in habitat habitatseethed seethedwith withpoisonous poisonoussnakes. snakes.

‘Oh ‘Ohmy,’ my,’I Isaid. said.‘Your ‘Yourmed medbay bayisiscutting-edge.’ cutting-edge.’

‘Yes,’ ‘Yes,’Emmie Emmieagreed. agreed.‘And ‘AndWaystation Waystationisistelling tellingme meI I should shouldtreat treatyour yourfriend friendimmediately.’ immediately.’

Leo Leopoked pokedhis hishead headinto intothe theinfi infi rmary. rmary.‘You ‘Youmean meanthis this room roomjust justappeared appearedhere?’ here?’

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‘No,’ ‘No,’Emmie Emmiesaid. said.‘Well, ‘Well,yes. yes.It’s It’salways alwayshere, here,but but. . . it’s . it’s easier easiertotofind findwhen whenwe weneed needit.’ it.’

Leo Leonodded noddedthoughtfully. thoughtfully.‘You ‘Youthink thinkthe theWaystation Waystation could couldorganize organizemy mysock sockdrawer?’ drawer?’

AAbrick brickfell fellfrom fromthe theceiling ceilingand andclunked clunkedatatLeo’s Leo’sfeet. feet.

‘That’s ‘That’sa ano,’ no,’Emmie Emmieinterpreted. interpreted.‘Now, ‘Now,ififI Ican canhave have your yourfriend, friend,please.’ please.’

‘Uh ‘Uh. . .’. .’Leo Leopointed pointedtotothe theglass glasshabitat. habitat.‘You ‘Yougot gotsnakes snakes ininthere. there.Just Justsaying.’ saying.’

‘I’ll ‘I’lltake takegood goodcare careofofCalypso,’ Calypso,’Emmie Emmiepromised. promised.

She Shetook tookCalypso Calypsofrom fromus, us,lifting liftingthe thesorceress sorceressininher her arms armswith withnonoapparent apparentdiffi diffi culty. culty.‘You ‘Youtwo twogogoahead. ahead.You’ll You’ll find findJoJoatatthe thetop topofofthe theramp.’ ramp.’

‘Jo?’ ‘Jo?’I Iasked. asked.

‘You ‘Youcan’t can’tmiss missher,’ her,’Emmie Emmiepromised. promised.‘She’ll ‘She’llexplain explain the theWaystation Waystationbetter betterthan thanI Icould.’ could.’

She Shecarried carriedthe thesorceress sorceressinto intothe theinfi infi rmary. rmary.The Thedoor door shut shutbehind behindher. her.

Leo Leofrowned frownedatatme. me.‘Snakes?’

‘Snakes?’

‘Oh, ‘Oh,yes,’ yes,’I Iassured assuredhim. him.‘There’s ‘There’sa areason reasona asnake snakeonon a arod rodsymbolizes symbolizesmedicine. medicine.Venom Venomwas wasone oneofofthe theearliest earliest cures.’ cures.’

‘Huh.’ ‘Huh.’Leo Leoglanced glancedatathis hisfeet. feet.‘You ‘Youthink thinkI Ican cankeep keepthis this brick, brick,atatleast?’ least?’

The Thecorridor corridorrumbled. rumbled.

‘I‘Iwould wouldleave leaveititthere,’ there,’I Isuggested. suggested.

‘Yeah, ‘Yeah,think thinkI’ll I’llleave leaveititthere.’ there.’

After Aftera afew fewmore morefeet, feet,another anotherdoor dooropened openedononour ourright. right.

Inside, Inside,sunlight sunlightfiltered filteredthrough throughpink pinklace lacecurtains curtainsonto onto the thehardwood hardwoodfloor floorofofa achild’s child’sroom. room.AAcosy cosybed bedwas waspiled piled

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with withfluffy fluffycomforters, comforters,pillows pillowsand andstuffed stuffedanimals. animals.The The eggshell-coloured eggshell-colouredwalls wallshad hadbeen beenused usedasasa acanvas canvasfor forcrayon crayon art art– –stick-fi stick-fi gure gurepeople, people,trees, trees,houses, houses,frolicking frolickinganimals animals that thatmight mighthave havebeen beendogs dogsororhorses horsesororllamas. llamas.On Onthe theleftlefthand handwall, wall,opposite oppositethe thebed, bed,a acrayon crayonsun sunsmiled smileddown downonon a afield fieldofofhappy happycrayon crayonflowers. flowers.InInthe thecentre, centre,a astickstickfigure figure girl girlstood stoodbetween betweentwo twolarger largerparental parentalstick stickfigures figures– –allall three threeofofthem themholding holdinghands. hands.

The Thewall wallart artreminded remindedme meofofRachel RachelElizabeth ElizabethDare’s Dare’s cavern cavern ofof prophecy prophecy atat Camp Camp Half-Blood.

Half-Blood. My My Delphic Delphic Oracle Oraclehad haddelighted delightedininpainting paintingher hercave cavewith withthings thingsshe’d she’d seen seenininher hervisions visions. . . .before beforeher heroracular oracularpower powerceased ceased totowork, work,that thatis.is.(Totally (Totallynot notmy myfault. fault.You Youcan canblame blamethat that overgrown overgrownrat ratsnake, snake,Python.)

Python.)

Most Mostofofthe thedrawings drawingsininthis thisbedroom bedroomseemed seemedtypical typicalfor for a achild childofofabout aboutseven sevenororeight. eight.But Butininthe thefurthest furthestcorner corner ofofthe theback backwall wallthe theyoung youngartist artisthad haddecided decidedtotoinfl infl icticta a nightmarish nightmarishplague plagueupon uponher hercrayon crayonworld. world.AAscribbly scribblyblack black storm stormwas wasbrewing. brewing.Frowning Frowningstick stickfigures figuresthreatened threatenedthe the llamas llamaswith withtriangular triangularknives. knives.Dark Darkcurlicues curlicuesblotted blottedout outa a primary-coloured primary-colouredrainbow. rainbow.Scratched Scratchedover overthe thefield fieldofofgreen green grass grasswas wasa ahuge hugeinky inkysphere spherelike likea ablack blackpond pond. . . .ororthe the entrance entranceofofa acave. cave.

Leo Leostepped steppedback. back.‘I‘Idunno, dunno,man. man.Don’t Don’tthink thinkwe weshould should gogoin.’ in.’

I Iwondered wonderedwhy whythe theWaystation Waystationhad haddecided decidedtotoshow showusus this thisroom. room.Who Wholived livedhere? here?Or Ormore moreaccurately accurately. . . who . whohad had lived livedhere? here?Despite Despitethe thecheerful cheerfulpink pinkcurtains curtainsand andthe thepile pile ofofstuffed stuffedanimals animalsononthe thecarefully carefullymade madebed, bed,the thebedroom bedroom felt feltabandoned, abandoned,preserved preservedlike likea amuseum museumexhibit. exhibit.

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‘Let’s ‘Let’skeep keepgoing,’ going,’I Iagreed. agreed.

Finally, Finally,atatthe thetop topofofthe theramp, ramp,we weemerged emergedinto intoa a cathedralcathedrallike likehall. hall.Overhead Overheadcurved curveda abarrelled barrelledceiling ceiling ofofwood woodcarvings, carvings,with withglowing glowingstained-glass stained-glasspanels panelsininthe the centre centrecreating creatinggreen greenand andgold goldgeometric geometricdesigns. designs.At Atthe the farfarend endofofthe theroom, room,the therose rosewindow windowI’dI’dseen seenoutside outsidecast cast dartboard-line dartboard-lineshadows shadowsacross acrossthe thepainted paintedcement cementfloor. floor.

ToToour ourleft leftand andright, right,there therewere wereraised raisedwalkways walkwayswith with wrought-iron wrought-ironrailings, railings,and andelegant elegantVictorian Victorianlamp lampposts posts lined linedthe thewalls. walls.Behind Behindthe therailings, railings,rows rowsofofdoorways doorwaysled led into intoother otherrooms. rooms.Half Halfa adozen dozenladders laddersstretched stretchedupuptotothe the ornate ornatemoulding mouldingatatthe thebase baseofofthe theceiling, ceiling,where wherethe theledges ledges were werestuffed stuffedwith withhay-like hay-likeroosts roostsfor forvery verylarge largechickens. chickens.

The Thewhole wholeplace placehad hada afaint faintanimal animalscent scent. . . .though thoughitit reminded remindedme memore moreofofa adog dogkennel kennelthan thana ahenhouse. henhouse.

InInone onecorner cornerofofthe themain mainroom roomgleamed gleameda achef’s chef’skitchen kitchen big bigenough enoughtotohost hostseveral severalcelebrity celebritycook-offs cook-offsatatonce. once.Sets Sets ofofsofas sofasand andcomfy comfychairs chairswere wereclustered clusteredhere hereand andthere. there.At At the thecentre centreofofthe thehall hallstood stooda amassive massivedining diningtable tableofofroughroughhewn hewnredwood redwoodwith withseating seatingfor fortwenty. twenty.

Under Underthe therose rosewindow, window,the thecontents contentsofofseveral severaldifferent different workshops workshopsseemed seemedtotohave havebeen beendisgorged disgorgedatatrandom: random:table table saws, saws,drills, drills,lathes, lathes,kilns, kilns,forges, forges,anvils, anvils,3-D 3-Dprinters, printers,sewing sewing machines, machines,cauldrons cauldronsand andseveral severalother otherindustrial industrialappliances appliances I Icouldn’t couldn’tname. name.(Don’t (Don’tjudge judgeme. me.I’m I’mnot notHephaestus.)

Hephaestus.)

Hunched Hunchedover overa awelding weldingstation, station,throwing throwingsparks sparksfrom from her hertorch torchasasshe sheworked workedonona asheet sheetofofmetal, metal,was wasa amuscular muscular woman womaninina ametal metalvisor, visor,leather leatherapron apronand andgloves. gloves.

I’m I’mnot notsure surehow howshe shenoticed noticedus. us.Perhaps Perhapsthe theWaystation Waystation chucked chuckeda abrick brickatather herback backtotoget gether herattention. attention.Whatever Whatever

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the thecase, case,she shelooked lookedininour ourdirection, direction,shut shutoffoffher hertorch, torch, then thenlifted liftedher hervisor. visor.

‘I’ll ‘I’llbebehexed!’ hexed!’She Shebarked barkedout outa alaugh. laugh.‘Is‘Isthat thatApollo?’

Apollo?’

She Shetugged tuggedoffoffher hersafety safetygear gearand andlumbered lumberedover. over.Like Like Emmie, Emmie,the thewoman womanwas wasininher hersixties, sixties,but, but,whereas whereasEmmie Emmie had hadthe thephysique physiqueofofa aformer formergymnast, gymnast,this thiswoman womanwas wasbuilt built for forbrawling. brawling.Her Herbroad broadshoulders shouldersand anddark, dark,well-sculpted well-sculpted arms armsstretched stretchedagainst againstthe theconfi confi nes nesofofa afaded fadedpink pinkpolo polo shirt. shirt.Wrenches Wrenchesand andscrewdrivers screwdriverssagged saggedfrom fromthe thepockets pockets ofofher herdenim denimoveralls. overalls.Against Againstthe theumber umberskin skinofofher herscalp, scalp, her herbuzz-cut buzz-cutgrey greyhair hairshimmered shimmeredlike likefrost. frost.

She She thrust thrust out out her her hand. hand. ‘You ‘You probably probably don’t don’t remember rememberme, me,Lord LordApollo.

Apollo.I’m I’mJo. Jo.Or OrJosie.

Josie.Or OrJosephine.

Josephine.

Whichever.’

Whichever.’

With Witheach eachversion versionofofher hername, name,she shesqueezed squeezedmy myhand hand tighter. tighter.I would I wouldnot nothave havechallenged challengedher hertotoananarm-wrestling arm-wrestling contest contest(though (thoughwith withher hermeaty meatyfingers fingersI Idoubt doubtshe shecould could play playguitar guitarasaswell wellasasI Ido, do,sosoha). ha).Her Hersquare-jawed square-jawedface face would’ve would’vebeen beenquite quiteintimidating intimidatingexcept exceptfor forher hercheerful, cheerful, twinkling twinklingeyes. eyes.Her Hermouth mouthtwitched twitchedasasififshe shewere wereexerting exerting a agreat greateffort effortnot nottotoburst burstout outlaughing. laughing.

‘Yes,’ ‘Yes,’I Isqueaked, squeaked,extracting extractingmy myhand. hand.‘I‘Imean, mean,no. no.I’m I’m afraid afraidI Idon’t don’tremember. remember.May MayI Iintroduce introduceLeo?’ Leo?’ ‘Leo!’ ‘Leo!’She Shecrushed crushedhis hishand handwith withenthusiasm. enthusiasm.‘I’m ‘I’mJo.’ Jo.’ All Allthese thesepeople peoplewhose whosenames namesended endedinino o– –Jo, Jo,Leo, Leo, Calypso, Calypso,Apollo Apollo– –suddenly suddenlymade mademe mefeel feellike likemy mybrand brandwas was being beingdiluted. diluted.I Ithanked thankedthe thegods godswe wewere werenot notininOhio Ohioand and our ourdragon dragonwas wasnot notnamed namedFesto.

Festo.

‘I‘Ithink thinkI’ll I’llcall callyou youJosephine,’ Josephine,’I Idecided. decided.‘It’s ‘It’sa alovely lovely name.’ name.’

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Josephine Josephineshrugged. shrugged.‘Fine ‘Finebybyme. me.Where’s Where’syour yourfriend friend Calypso?’

Calypso?’

‘Wait,’ ‘Wait,’Leo Leosaid. said.‘How’d ‘How’dyou youknow knowabout aboutCalypso?’

Calypso?’

Josephine Josephinetapped tappedher herleft lefttemple. temple.‘Waystation ‘Waystationtells tellsme me stuff.’ stuff.’

‘Oooh.’

‘Oooh.’Leo’s Leo’seyes eyeswidened. widened.‘That’s ‘That’scool.’ cool.’

I Iwasn’t wasn’tsososure. sure.Normally, Normally,when whensomeone someonesaid saidthat that a abuilding buildingwas wastalking talkingtotothem, them,I Igot gotaway awayfrom fromthem themasas quickly quicklyasaspossible. possible.Sadly, Sadly,I Ibelieved believedJosephine.

Josephine.I Ialso alsohad had the thefeeling feelingwe wewould wouldbebeneeding needingher herhospitality. hospitality.

‘Calypso’s ‘Calypso’sininthe theinfi infi rmary,’ rmary,’I Ioffered. offered.‘Broke ‘Brokeher herhand. hand.

And Andfoot.’ foot.’

‘Ah.’ ‘Ah.’The Thesparkle sparkledimmed dimmedininJosephine’s Josephine’seyes. eyes.‘Yeah, ‘Yeah, you youmet metthe theneighbours.’ neighbours.’

‘You ‘Youmean meanthe theblemmyae.’ blemmyae.’I Iimagined imaginedthe theneighbours neighbours stopping stoppingbybytotoborrow borrowa asocket socketwrench, wrench,orortake takeananorder orderfor for Girl GirlScout Scoutcookies, cookies,orormurder murdersomeone. someone.‘Do ‘Doyou youoften oftenhave have problems problemswith withthem?’ them?’

‘Didn’t ‘Didn’t use use to.’ to.’ Josephine Josephine sighed. sighed. ‘By ‘By themselves, themselves, blemmyae blemmyaeare arepretty prettyharmless, harmless,asaslong longasasyou’re you’repolite politetoto them. them.They Theydon’t don’thave haveenough enoughimagination imaginationtotoorganize organizeanan assault. assault.But Butsince sincelast lastyear year–’–’ ‘Let ‘Letme meguess,’ guess,’I Isaid. said.‘Indianapolis ‘Indianapolishas hasa anew newemperor?’ emperor?’

AAripple rippleofofanger angerwashed washedacross acrossJosephine’s Josephine’sface, face,giving giving me mea aglimpse glimpseofofwhat whatititwould wouldbebelike liketotoget getononher herbad badside. side.

(Hint: (Hint:ititinvolved involvedpain.) pain.)

‘Best ‘Bestwe wedon’t don’ttalk talkabout aboutthe theemperor emperoruntil untilEmmie Emmieand and your yourfriend friendjoin joinus,’ us,’she shesaid. said.‘Without ‘WithoutEmmie Emmiearound aroundtoto keep keepme mecalm calm. . . I. Iget getworked workedup.’ up.’